All language subtitles for Saving.Hope.S04E18.HDTV.x264-KILLERS

Interesting tidbit about Beethoven...

you know, his hearing
loss might've been caused

by habitually immersing
his head in cold water

to stay awake.

Yes, doctor, you've mentioned that.

I have?

Charlie: Déjà vu.

French psychic Emile Boirac
coined the term.

Means "already seen,"

a feeling of having already
experienced

the present situation.

Science considers this a trick of memory,
nothing else.

Perforator.

But one thing I've learned?

There's a lot that science
can't explain.

Turn up the music.

"God counts the tears of women."

I say we start counting them ourselves

by making women's health a top priority

right here at Hope Zion.

Thank you.

Thank you, Dr. Reid.

Man: Great job.

Alex, can I have a word?

Of course.

Well-researched, articulate.

I don't know how he is yet.

The procedure just started,
but I'll let you know.

I'm that transparent.

Kind of.

You did great in there.

You did not need to pitch today.

I know, but like I said,
I was happy for the distraction.

He's in good hands.

The best.

Courage, right?

Cassie, your heart's upside-down.

Sorry?

Oh. Thanks.

Don't mention it.

- Dr. Reid?
- Mm-hmm?

How's Dr. Harris?

Uh, they just brought him in.

The tumor's small and benign,

so nothing to worry about, right?

Yeah.

Except maybe your own patients.

- Huh?
- Oh.

This in-between place...

some people call it purgatory,

where you go to be cleansed,

make you worthy of entering heaven.

And the atheists,

well, I don't really buy what they're
selling anymore.

That's another thing I've learned.

In our moment of reckoning,
everybody worships something.

God, money, beauty.

I worship you, Alex.

And no matter what happens,
I will find my way back to you.

Real-estate listings... Vancouver?

Yeah.

That's where my ex is moving with our boys.

You okay with that?

Nope.

But messy custody battle.

Nobody wants that, especially me.

So you thought you'd just move out there,

cramp her style instead, huh?

Considering it. I don't know.

Look, holidays, weekends...
that's what my old man did.

Look at me. Superstar.

I don't know. Change of pace.

Maybe I need something new.

Man, you're full of surprises
this morning, Dr. Miller.

Dawn: All right, thank you.

Get on it.

I am definitely full of something, Jackson.

Heads up!

Maggie: What do we got?

Deshawn Lewis... 16.

Part of a talent showcase
down at the waterfront.

He complained of shortness of breath

before he collapsed during rehearsal.

Hi, Deshawn. I'm Dr. Lin.

Let's take a look here.

My mom... she's in Halifax.

We'll contact her right away.

She doesn't even know I'm in Toronto.

What do we got?

Take a listen to this, please?

- Yep.
- This is Deshawn.

She thinks I'm crashing at a
friend's house for the weekend.

That doesn't sound good. Page Dawn.

Great. The person I just
bombed my pitch in front of.

Yes, I heard. I was looking for you.

I'm not feeling so good.

Deshawn?

Deshawn?

- He's seizing.
- I need two milligrams of lorazepam,

and get me some phenytoin
in case he's not responding!

Let's go!

Well, Mrs. Donaldson, I'm happy to announce

that you have the heart
of a much younger woman.

Great.

Now if only these fun
bags didn't sag so much.

Oh. Right, then.

Hi.

I'm Dr. Williams. Come have a seat.

I'm actually looking for Dr. Jeremy Bishop.

Oh. Are you a patient of his?

No.

I'm an old colleague of his.

Natasha Scott.

Know where I might find him?

Well, we were just up in his office,

so, um, I'm guessing on
his way to surgery by now.

What were you doing in his office?

Oh, I'm sorry?

Erythema. You're blushing.

I'm, uh...

You know what?

I will take that checkup after all.

I mean, it's been so long since
I've been to my own doctor.

Who has the time?

Being paged to assist in the O.R.

Lucky you.

You don't have to take your shirt off.

No, of course not.

All our brains are unique,

but somehow, Charlie's... it's more unique.

Thank you, Shahir.

I think.

And there it is.

Okay. Penfield #4.

Let's take a look at the medial site.

Yes, let's do that, shall we?

Forceps.

Damn it.

Dr. Hamza?

It's connected to the
transverse and sagittal sinuses.

And what does that mean?

It means it's far more aggressive

than it presented in the imaging.

It means it's far more aggressive

than it presented in the imaging.

Right.

This tumor isn't benign.

So you're saying it's cancer?

Page Dr. Reid right now.

And this is how it happens.

In an instant, everything you think
you know changes.

The ground shifts, then gives way,

and suddenly you're falling,

hoping to God there's someone
there to catch you.

There weren't supposed to be any surprises.

I know.

But based on the size of the tumor

and how aggressively it's
invading the sinuses...

You think it's cancer.

I've sent a sample up to pathology.

Shahir.

Yes.

Yes.

I think there's a very good chance

the tumor could be malignant.

So cut it out.

I wish it were that simple.

It is, actually.

You're a neurosurgeon.

Alex... Alex, if I cut any closer,

it could cause massive bleeding.

So what are the options?

We dissect around the lateral
and superior margins.

And leave the tumor in him.

Make a go for radiation.

It'll slow down the growth,
buy him more time.

How long?

A year. Maybe more.

But there is a way to get it all.

Yes, but he could suffer a major bleed.

The chance of losing him
on the table, Alex, it's...

What do... what do we do?

This is your call.

I'm gonna need some time.

Well, I can keep him stable,

but every minute he's on the table...

I know the risks, Shahir.

20 minutes tops.

But after that, I'll need a decision.

Okay.

You'll have one.

Charlie.

Alex.

I don't know what to do.

I've helped a lot of people
in these halls...

kids, nuns, even con men...

guided them all to the other side.

But what's over there,

I have no intention of finding out.

Apparently our little Romeo is
quite the youtube sensation.

He has almost half a million views.

Kid does have a great voice.

Yep, and he's as cute as a button.

They usually are.

Hello, Deshawn. I'm Dr. Bell.

We managed to get
your seizure under control

with the lorazepam.

I'm going to give you an ultrasound,

so I'm gonna need you to lift your shirt.

I am a heart specialist.

Me too.

I'm sure you're aware of
the small army of girls

that's out there waiting for you.

Ah, you sound like my mom.

She says all the attention
will make my head big.

Speaking of your mom...

What did she say when
you told her I was here?

Well, she's obviously concerned,

and she's jumping on the first plane out.

Great. So...

If whatever this is
doesn't kill me

well, she's going to.

Okay, this might be a little bit cold.

So, I take it your mom's not
too impressed with your music?

That's an understatement.

She's never even seen me perform.

Mm-hmm.

What's going on?

Okay, well, I think I
know why you collapsed.

You have a hole in your heart.

A hole?

Can... can you fix it?

Absolutely.

What about the showcase?

I can still perform tomorrow, right?

Fixing this is more important right now,

and I'm sure that your mom
will agree when she gets here.

Oh, man, this sucks.

It does. Dr. Lin, book an O.R.

Oh, Dr. Bell.

Couldn't we just put him
on clopidogrel or warfarin?

At least then he could
perform tomorrow night.

No. The risks are too considerable.

We need to operate.

Sometimes we don't get
what we want, Dr. Lin.

No matter how much it hurts.

Alex.

I heard.

I'm trying to find case studies

with a tumor in a similar position.

How's it going?

Not good.

I can't...

It's okay.

It's okay.

No, it's not.

I... I have an impossible decision to make.

I know.

And usually when I have
an impossible decision,

the first person that I talk to about it...

Is Charlie.

Well, you've known him a long time.

What do you think he'd want me to do?

I think, when it comes to Charlie,

you always know what to do.

When he was in his coma,
I could always feel him here.

And as long as I could feel him here,

I knew that we had to keep
fighting to bring him back.

And now?

I can feel him.

Does that make me sound crazy?

No.

Just in love.

If I make the wrong decision,
I could kill him.

What should I do?

He's your go-to guy. I say talk to him.

Thank you.

- Ischemic bowel.
- In all its glory.

Now, you see how the
mesentery's on tension there?

Yeah. I can see the vessels clearly.

Great. So what do I do next?

Select avascular areas.

- How many?
- Two.

And then?

Safely go through the mesentery
and clamp the vessels.

That's right. Then we are in business.

Natasha: Certainly are.

Natasha?

What the hell are you...?

We need to talk, Jeremy.

Uh, I am currently resecting
a bowel right now.

Everyone, this is Dr. Scott.

She is a vascular surgeon

visiting us all the way
from sunny California.

How'd you get in here?

It was surprisingly easy, actually.

I just lifted a pair of
scrubs off a medical cart

and flashed my lanyard.

Doesn't your lanyard say "L.A. General"?

Well, that's the funny
thing about lanyards...

No one looks past the lamination.

How'd you know where to find me?

Mm, the zygote you're sleeping with

pointed me in the right direction.

What is she, 20?

- You jealous?
- That she can get into wonderland half-price?

- Absolutely.
- Cautery.

I miss you.

This really isn't the time, Natasha.

When is the time?
You won't answer my calls.

You left me. You remember that, right?

Yes. And that's why,

if I have to chase you
halfway across the continent,

I will.

I still love you.

And I want you to come home.

I'm pretty sure I should
apologize for something,

but I don't know what it is, so...

So you bought me a stuffed bear.

What am I, like a 9-year-old kid?

No. This is for Deshawn.

You know, I never really got the
appeal of singer/songwriters.

I mean, big deal, so you can strum a guitar

and make some words rhyme.

I mean, I pulled a doll's head

out of a man's rectum yesterday.

Dawn.

Come on. Seriously, what did I do?

You tell me, Zach.

Look, I think you should
know that I'm moving.

I know it's crazy, but I think
I'm heading to Vancouver.

When are you leaving?

My ex wants me to go
check on a private school

with her this weekend.

I booked an interview with our lady Grace

while I'm out there.

Well, if you want a referral,

I know I'm not your boss but
I'm happy to write you one.

Good.

Unless there's a reason why
you think I should stay.

I got to go. Deshawn's prepped.

I need to talk to you.

I'm here.

So, I have this decision to make.

I know, sweetheart.

Talk to me, Charlie.

Tell me what you want.

I want to grow old with you, Alex.

That's what I want.

Take it all out.

Can you give me a sign?

Let me know that I'm doing the right thing.

Shahir!

Alex, it's been 33 minutes.

- I needed to be sure.
- I said 20 minutes tops.

His pressure is dropping.
I need your decision right now.

I don't want a few months.
I need him for the long haul.

So does Luke.

Okay, what are you saying?

I'm saying make the cut.

Alex, are you sure?

Make the cut, Shahir.

Dr. Bishop, do you have a second?

Hey, I'm just on my way
to another case, Sekara.

- I'm kind of busy.
- It'll just take a second.

That second is quickly expiring.

Cassie's amazing.

She's thoughtful, crazy smart,

unbelievably sexy.

Don't screw it up.

Excuse me? I know guys like you.

How you breeze in,
you take whatever you need,

and then you ditch out as soon
as a better offer comes along.

That's a very uncomplicated view of things.

Wh...

what are you doing?

Waiting for you to hit me.

I'm not gonna hit you.

I'm actually kind of impressed.

You really care about her, don't you?

Question is... do you?

You really shouldn't be here.

It was Charlie's request in his chart.

If things went sideways,
he wanted me to be here.

Well, it's highly unorthodox.

Welcome to my world. Are you close?

You can't rush this.

You're around the margins.

You've got it, Shahir.

I need to focus.

Okay, here we go.

Ah, the transverse sinus.

- Did you nick it?
- I don't know yet.

Hemostatic mesh, foam, patties!

All of it.

Alex, you can't operate on him!

Foam, now!

It's unethical for you to be even in here.

Right now, I'm just another set of hands.

Please.

Okay.

All right. Give me patties.

We're going to need some more blood.

And call a code.

You're my compass, Alex.

- My north star.
- It's still obstructed.

I'll find my way back to you.

We have to move.

Please make it stop, please make it stop,

please make it stop, please make it stop,

please make it stop, please make it stop,

please make it stop.

Please, please...

You're gonna be okay.

Man: Code omega, O.R.
Code omega, O.R.

Shahir: We need to control
the CO2 concentrations.

- Hyperventilating.
- On it.

We need to be packing.

If we don't clip the
source of the bleeding,

no amount of packing is gonna stop it.

Bag him.

I still can't see anything.

What's happening to me?

Hey!

I'm not dead!

Alex!

Alex: How is he, Wayne?

Wayne: BP's still dropping. He's tachy.

- We're losing him.
- No, we are not.

Hang more volume and clotting factors.

Hang some blood.

Charlie, come on. Stay with me here.

There's too much blood.

I am flying blind.

I got it, I got it.

Okay. Hand me a clip right now.

Suction.

BP's still dropping.

- Dr. Hamza...
- I know.

Charlie, stay with me.

And this is what it feels like...

to die.

Easy.

We don't want his brain to swell.

Give it to me. Hand it over.

Death chill.

The cells in our bodies burst.

Our temperature drops.

But it's not cold in here.
How come I'm not cold?

Remember the time we went to the beach

and I wouldn't go in the water?

Why wouldn't I go in the water?

I'm ready now.

I'm ready, Alex.

Okay. His bleeding's under control.

No, no, no, no, no.

BP's stable.

How long was his cortex without oxygen?

Just for a few seconds.

Something's still wrong.

Shahir, I can't feel him.

Alex, please.

I can't... I can't feel him!

You don't understand.
He's not here anymore.

He's stable.

You must have missed something.

We're monitoring him. You have to stop.

No.

Shahir, don't close, all right?

There's something you missed.
You have to go back.

Alex!

This is my O.R.

I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

Deshawn, we were able to fix your heart

by pushing a small
tube up through your leg.

It's sore.

It will be for a little while.

But the good news is, is that...

here, and I will show it to you...

we were able to plug the hole
using these small little discs.

Pssh, no way.

Oh, sweet. Thanks.

Now the blood will flow
where it's supposed to.

Anyway, like I said, you should
have a little bit of discomfort,

but nothing to worry about.
Your heart is in great shape.

Have you heard from my mom?

Uh, her plane just landed,

and she should be here any minute.

I'll go put on my body armor.

I'm sure it's not gonna be that bad.

Yes, it will.

My dad played trumpet. Jazz. He, uh...

He O.D.'d in some crappy
club in the north end.

I'm sorry, Deshawn.

She blames the music.

So, me singing...

she doesn't want me to get hurt.

Or worse.

What do you think?

I don't think it's true. I'm not him.

Have you told her that?

No.

No, I can't.

Every time I try to tell her,

the words get caught in my throat.

Except for when you sing.

Well, yeah.

Music lets you say things
you can't normally say.

Th-the problem is that
she never comes to see me play.

Play something for me. Pretend I'm her.

Come on.

I got one.

You're right, Deshawn.

Letting your guard down, being vulnerable,

that's terrifying.

For everyone.

You need to talk to your mom.

I guarantee you that she wants
to hear what's in your heart.

Okay, ladies. Let's turn it around.

He needs his rest, okay?

Uh, Dr. Bell?

This might be out of line,
but is everything okay?

What do you mean?

I know I let you down
earlier with the pitch,

and maybe it's just that,

but I'm sensing a little weirdness.

Come here, Maggie.

Uh, it's not the pitch.

This is not very professional,

and I pride myself on professionalism.

I don't know if you know this,

but Zach and I have been seeing each other.

And...

I saw the two of you kiss.

Oh, my God. Um...

- No, it's fine.
- No, no, no, no.

I mean, I'm over it.
It's good.

- Not what you think.
- No, it's not?

'Cause you guys were kissing.

It looked like you were kissing.

No, I kissed him.

Uh... I had a really bad patient outcome.

I was very nervous about the pitch.

He told me about you.

He did?

Yeah. He really likes you.

It was actually very sweet...

as he was rejecting me.

Thank you, Maggie.

We're good.

We're great.

All's good.

Okay, I got to go.

You got it all.

Tumor's gone.

It's gone.

I know I freaked out in there.

I just... I, uh...

I can't shake this feeling.

Shahir: I'm sorry I kicked you out.

We all love him, Alex.

He's gonna be fine.

Jackson! have you seen Dr. Miller?

I think he's gone home.

Said something about going
to Vancouver for the weekend.

Dr. Bell, are you okay?

I'm an idiot.

Yeah, you are.

I mean, I know I'm not supposed to say that

'cause you're a girl.

I saw you and Maggie kiss.

Remember when I just called you an idiot?

I'd like to take that back.

Dawn...

it didn't mean anything.

I know.

Maggie told me,
and I think that I already...

I just... oh, Zach, I'm such a mess.

Join the club.

Stay here. Stay at Hope Zion.

I want you.

And every spare minute that we have,

we will go and see your kids.

And... and I have a lot
of air miles saved up.

My kids are animals.

Do you have any idea what chocolate

would do to your white couch?

Well, it'll beat another lonely TV dinner.

You're not lonely.

I'm not.

Not anymore.

Hey. You mind, pal?

I'm sorry.

Sweetheart.

Ohh!

Are you okay?

Define okay.

You know, um, a wise woman once told me,

if you run into a wall, kick it down.

- Did I say that?
- Yep.

And I've called on it on
more than one occasion

during treatment.

Well, we're glad to have you back.

Yeah. I'm happy to be back.

I just wish they'd clear
me for work already.

So...

All in good time.

Yeah.

Patience has never been my strong suit.
You know that.

But I prefer doing something to, um...

to sitting on my ass.

Why can't I feel him here, Dana?

What does Shahir say?

That they got the tumor en bloc.

That he's stable.

So why do I still have this feeling?

Because you're exhausted.

All those days by his bedside...

I didn't feel like this.

How do you feel?

Can you tell me?

Cold.

Like somehow we've used up all our luck.

No.

Ohh. No.

Man: Code blue to I.C.U. 34B.

Code blue to I.C.U. 34B.

No, no, no.

Charlie: Where does it all lead,
and what will become of us?

Woman: I can't get a pulse!

- I'm taking over!
- He must have thrown a clot.

Switch in three, two, one, switch!

Okay, push more fluids and bicarbs.

- On it.
- Come on, try to hang on!

Charge to 360. Alex,
I need you to get off him.

Okay. All clear.

- Got it?
- Yep.

Charlie: It all leads to you.

Nothing. He's still in V-fib.

Go again!

And we will become ourselves.

Charlie...

Okay. All clear.

Charlie, come back to me. Charlie...

One more time. All clear. Alex, all clear.

Alex, please!

Keep going!

Okay, let's shock him again.

Whatever you are,

if you're out there and you can hear me...

I get it now.

My dad, Luke, Charlie...

It's me.

I'm cursed.

But Charlie is good.

He is good, and he needs to be okay.

Please let him live.

I'll... I-I will stay
away from him, I swear.

Just please...

Please, please, please let him live.

Dr. Reid?

He's got a pulse.

A near-perfect surgery,
three months of rehab,

and now back to the land
of the living.

Alex: Damn it.

No tumor.

You okay?

No more ghosts.

Yeah. I'm just nervous.

I went through the fire.

I was cleansed and found worthy.

And this-this is heaven.

Yeah, you've been, um,
kind of on edge lately.

Well, you know I hate public speaking.

Why don't you try the, um,
picturing-everybody-naked thing?

That's not gonna work.

I'm a doctor.

I'll start wanting to examine
them all or something.

Well, you are gonna be great, because...

because you're brilliant
and you're gorgeous.

Go on.

And... and I kind of owe you,

well, a couple, I think,

since you've brought me back to life.

You do.

Twice now, right?

Mm-hmm.

Nothing bad is gonna happen
because I've got your back.

Yeah.

Charlie: You killed your wife.

Same as you murdered
that little girl.

Tom: You have no idea who you're
messing with.

You're gonna rot in that prison cell, Tom.

You said you'd help me.

I'm not gonna forget this, Charlie.

Hey, there.

Can you tell me if doctor...

Harris is on shift tonight?

No, he's not scheduled.
Can I help you with something?

No, I just wanted to talk to him.

What about his wife? Uh... Dr. Reid?

Is she here tonight?

Sorry, she's not here, either.

Okay. Right.

Thanks.

They're probably at the fellowship awards.

Half the staff's there.

Thanks.

I can't believe we are at a work thing
for Valentine's day.

Well, I guess our one
true love is medicine.

Oh, yes.

Happy Valentine's.

Happy Valentine's day.

All right, next one's on me.

Three more whiskeys and an appletini.

What?

Yeah, he drinks appletinis.

What? They're good.

I'm gonna sit this one out, guys.

I don't want to slur my acceptance speech.

Come on, Maggs. We'll be like
Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis.

Twist my arm.

Mmm. To the dynamic duo.

Hey.

So, whose idea was it

to combine your fellowship pitches?

We've always brought out
the best in each other.

Speaking of which,
let's go run our words, shall we?

Yes.

Congratulations.

Thank you. You too.

Hey, let's paper-rock-scissors

to see who has to talk first.

Okay.

Oh, you win.

- Lin!
- Hey!

Reid. You guys, congratulations!

- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.

- So great to see you here.
- You kidding me?

Grabbed the last flight from vancouver.

Wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Can I buy you a drink?

Actually, we are going

to need a few drinks.

Congratulations, ladies.

Thank you. You look, uh... athletic.

Jacob really wanted to see us off, and...

Yeah, despite his
penchant for car sickness.

My manolos didn't stand a chance.

Yeah. Speaking of which,
I should go see if they're dry.

And we have to go rehearse
our drunken speech.

Yes, we do.

Good luck.

See you at the bar.

Okay.

Check one, two. Check one, two.

Red leather, yellow leather.

The tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips.

Let us eat lettuce leaves.

Okay, let's go.

Your glass slipper.

I am sorry that my son puked on your shoes.

Are you kidding me?
That's what family is about.

Lucky for me, his dad is a prince.

Aww, come here.

I'm just gonna have a quick word with her.

Hey.

Hey.

You look nice.

Thank you.

So does she.

Well, she does.

Well, no more silent treatment.

I guess you could call that progress.

Yeah, well, you are moving back to L.A.

In the morning, right?

Yeah.

This might be our last chance to talk.

About what?

Cassie.

No, seriously. What is there to talk about?

Will you at least give me a
chance to explain a few things?

- I told you I was married.
- You did.

You also told me you were getting divorced.

I didn't realize how
much I still loved her.

Till she showed up.

What do you want from me, Jeremy?

I don't know.

I guess before I go I just
want to make sure you're okay.

No, you just don't want
me to be mad at you.

Look, I'm sorry.

For what?

You're an amazing woman.

I don't need a pep talk.

- You're leaving?
- Yeah.

Turns out I'm not really in a party mood.

Cassie.

See you around, doctor.

Thank you.

Tonight, we honor two of our own.

Our best and brightest.

Our co-winners combined studies

in breast and gynecological cancer

to propose a revolution in the
treatment of women's health,

an issue that has personal resonance

for so many of us here at Hope Zion,

and none more than Dana Kinney.

Dana.

You know, so often in medicine,
our job is to be reactive.

You know, to clean up
life's messy mistakes.

And it's in those moments
that we test our mettle.

How we measure up with life
hanging in the balance,

it defines us as doctors.

But every now and then,

something comes along
that changes the game.

And with this new innovation,
we won't have to wait any more.

We can bring the fight.
We can be proactive.

I've watched these women develop.

I've seen them make mistakes.

I've seen them break the rules.

And, yes, it's true, we've had our, um...

we've had our share of disagreements.

But they pale in
comparison to our triumphs.

These women, they give us hope.

They've shown us that with hard work

and sheer damn determination
that the world will open up.

And not just to those who
strive for greatness,

but for those who demand it.

For those who hold themselves
up to a standard that,

well, if you ask me,
is pretty much impossible to meet.

But, um...

Here they are.

Two surgeons united in a new fight

with a plan that will change lives

and the wherewithal to see it through.

So I stand up here, honored and amazed,

to call up two of my closest friends,

doctors Maggie Lin and Alex Reid.

Oh, I'm so proud of you!

Charlie?

You need to go.

Hey. You broke your promise.

It's time to pay up.

Original subtitle by MystEre
Resync for KILLERS by TEDI