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1
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:14,510
(upbeat music)
2
00:00:14,578 --> 00:00:17,818
♪♪ ♪♪
3
00:00:17,887 --> 00:00:20,797
(sighs) Do you ever get
nostalgic for things you
4
00:00:20,863 --> 00:00:23,073
didn't actually experience?
(phone buzzes)
5
00:00:23,136 --> 00:00:24,806
Ugh.
6
00:00:24,875 --> 00:00:26,175
Like the Mongol
conquest?
7
00:00:26,245 --> 00:00:28,915
I was thinking
more like the '60s.
8
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:30,687
Oh, now that
takes me back
9
00:00:30,759 --> 00:00:34,169
the 1260s
when we conquered Damascus.
10
00:00:34,236 --> 00:00:35,466
You know, personally
I've always felt like
11
00:00:35,541 --> 00:00:37,111
I should have been
born earlier.
12
00:00:37,178 --> 00:00:38,618
Like, how earlier?
I don't know.
13
00:00:38,683 --> 00:00:42,433
Anywhere from like
100 to 5,000 years ago.
14
00:00:42,493 --> 00:00:44,643
You wish you were born
5,000 years ago?
15
00:00:44,701 --> 00:00:46,241
Yeah! Probably
would have been
16
00:00:46,305 --> 00:00:47,975
the queen of my own barbarian
tribe or something.
17
00:00:48,044 --> 00:00:51,324
I would way rather do that
than work in an office.
18
00:00:51,387 --> 00:00:53,127
Tanya,
I totally agree.
19
00:00:53,192 --> 00:00:54,632
I probably
would have been
20
00:00:54,698 --> 00:00:56,668
the magistrate
of an ancient city,
21
00:00:56,737 --> 00:00:58,167
and we might've
even been friends.
22
00:00:58,241 --> 00:01:00,411
Yes! We definitely
would have been friends.
23
00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:02,660
You would provide grain
for my people,
24
00:01:02,722 --> 00:01:06,272
and my warriors would offer not
to destroy your city in return.
25
00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:07,902
That does
sound like me.
26
00:01:07,971 --> 00:01:10,181
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
ancient times were terrifying
27
00:01:10,243 --> 00:01:11,583
and filled with danger.
28
00:01:11,649 --> 00:01:14,519
Uh, yeah, that's why
I would be the danger, dude.
29
00:01:14,591 --> 00:01:16,761
And that's why
I would pay her off.
30
00:01:16,831 --> 00:01:17,931
(phone buzzing)
31
00:01:18,001 --> 00:01:19,301
Tanya, hey,
is that your phone?
32
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:21,341
Ugh, yeah,
it's probably work.
33
00:01:21,410 --> 00:01:24,090
I'm juggling like 37 projects
right now.
34
00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:25,462
But it's Saturday.
35
00:01:25,523 --> 00:01:28,063
Unfortunately,
Saturday is the new Thursday.
36
00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:29,301
What's Thursday then?
37
00:01:29,367 --> 00:01:30,637
Thursday
has always been Tuesday.
38
00:01:30,706 --> 00:01:32,946
Mm. Nobody tells me
these things.
39
00:01:33,012 --> 00:01:34,382
(Tanya groans)
40
00:01:34,449 --> 00:01:35,789
See, if this was ancient times,
41
00:01:35,854 --> 00:01:37,534
nobody would be able to
text me on the weekend.
42
00:01:37,592 --> 00:01:41,042
Yeah, and I wouldn't have to
run my online Tshirt business.
43
00:01:41,103 --> 00:01:42,743
I could've run
an ancient city.
44
00:01:42,809 --> 00:01:45,419
Kevin, you love
your online Tshirt business.
45
00:01:45,482 --> 00:01:46,752
What about person carrot?
46
00:01:46,821 --> 00:01:48,421
KEVIN: Designing cute things
to put on Tshirts
47
00:01:48,491 --> 00:01:50,431
just isn't my destiny.
48
00:01:50,497 --> 00:01:52,637
I want a cooler destiny
than that,
49
00:01:52,705 --> 00:01:55,475
one that's not tied up
in frivolous consumer goods
50
00:01:55,546 --> 00:01:57,376
and brilliant comedic wordplay.
51
00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:00,361
Sadly, Kev, our destinies
may lie in the past.
52
00:02:00,427 --> 00:02:01,827
(both sigh)
53
00:02:01,899 --> 00:02:02,939
I have an idea.
54
00:02:03,002 --> 00:02:04,882
How about we go to the
Museum of Ancient History?
55
00:02:04,941 --> 00:02:07,251
That way, we can see
how horrible and scary
56
00:02:07,314 --> 00:02:08,754
old times
actually would have been.
57
00:02:08,820 --> 00:02:11,090
KEVIN: Ugh, fine.
Ugh!
58
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:16,480
♪♪ ♪♪
59
00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:19,521
ERNESTO:
This can't be it.
60
00:02:19,585 --> 00:02:20,985
KEVIN: It says
"Ancient History Museum."
61
00:02:21,056 --> 00:02:24,726
Shit, we were looking for
the Museum of Ancient History.
62
00:02:24,801 --> 00:02:27,981
TANYA: Uh, same thing?
Meh, I guess.
63
00:02:28,044 --> 00:02:29,854
(ominous chords)
64
00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:31,316
All...right.
65
00:02:31,386 --> 00:02:34,126
What terrifying lessons of
the past should we learn first?
66
00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:37,805
Ooh, terrifying, you say?
67
00:02:39,077 --> 00:02:41,847
Oh, sorry, is this
the Museum of Ancient History?
68
00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:43,989
This is the Ancient
History Museum.
69
00:02:44,058 --> 00:02:45,398
Same thingy.
70
00:02:45,462 --> 00:02:47,872
Now, what was that
about terror?
71
00:02:47,937 --> 00:02:50,707
Are we scared
about the ancient world
72
00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:53,189
and its many wonders
and also mysteriosisosis?
73
00:02:53,252 --> 00:02:54,662
(Kevin laughing)
I'm not scared.
74
00:02:54,724 --> 00:02:56,604
I'm just trying
to show my friends
75
00:02:56,663 --> 00:02:58,773
that we have it way better
in modern times,
76
00:02:58,836 --> 00:03:01,506
and living in the ancient world
was constantly horrible.
77
00:03:01,578 --> 00:03:03,688
Well, what if I was
to tell you
78
00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:05,691
that you are incorrect
about me,
79
00:03:05,757 --> 00:03:08,157
and that, and this,
and everything?
80
00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,331
(gasps) Oh!
81
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:10,840
That's exactly what
I was saying.
82
00:03:10,906 --> 00:03:12,876
Well, then you've come to
the right place, tasty dudes!
83
00:03:12,945 --> 00:03:14,875
Who wants
to see some cool swords?
84
00:03:14,951 --> 00:03:16,661
BOTH: I do.
Well, great!
85
00:03:16,724 --> 00:03:18,634
My next tour starts
right now!
86
00:03:18,695 --> 00:03:20,635
Follow me!
Come, come, come, come!
87
00:03:20,702 --> 00:03:23,082
Oh, my God, I love you.
Um...
88
00:03:23,142 --> 00:03:24,812
MY name is Gil, BTWs.
89
00:03:24,881 --> 00:03:27,621
It's short for Gilandrical,
Gilandrical Kartorious.
90
00:03:27,689 --> 00:03:29,489
KEVIN: Weird name.
I love it.
91
00:03:29,561 --> 00:03:30,871
GIL: Yes, it's very old,
92
00:03:30,933 --> 00:03:32,913
just like everything
in this museum.
93
00:03:32,972 --> 00:03:35,182
Mm, uh...
94
00:03:35,245 --> 00:03:37,945
In ancient times, pretty
much everyone had swords.
95
00:03:38,020 --> 00:03:39,090
KEVIN: Really?
96
00:03:39,157 --> 00:03:41,427
It was as common as,
like, cell phones are now.
97
00:03:41,496 --> 00:03:42,736
Wow!
Swords were used
98
00:03:42,802 --> 00:03:46,752
to cut people, bread
lots of stuff.
99
00:03:46,814 --> 00:03:50,394
Um, would any of these happen
to be barbarian swords?
100
00:03:50,457 --> 00:03:52,127
Several in fact, yeah.
101
00:03:52,196 --> 00:03:54,836
This one here was wielded
by a barbarian ruler
102
00:03:54,904 --> 00:03:57,014
who almost took down
all of the Romans,
103
00:03:57,077 --> 00:03:59,587
all of those dudes
and ladies at once.
104
00:03:59,652 --> 00:04:01,262
It was really cool.
Come, you slowpokeys!
105
00:04:01,323 --> 00:04:03,233
Don't touch!
Let's go.
106
00:04:04,298 --> 00:04:05,768
What thehey!
107
00:04:05,837 --> 00:04:08,107
GIL: At its peak,
this great ciudad
108
00:04:08,177 --> 00:04:11,017
was home to over
50,000 inhabitants,
109
00:04:11,086 --> 00:04:13,226
and none of them
liked each other, no.
110
00:04:13,292 --> 00:04:15,702
No get along gang here!
Ooh, Gilandrical,
111
00:04:15,767 --> 00:04:17,607
can I ask a question?
112
00:04:17,672 --> 00:04:19,782
I mean, Gil is fine.
Also, yah.
113
00:04:19,846 --> 00:04:22,086
Gil, theoretically,
would someone
114
00:04:22,152 --> 00:04:24,692
who now operates
an online Tshirt business
115
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,630
have the skills necessary
to become
116
00:04:26,699 --> 00:04:28,839
oh, I don't know
117
00:04:28,906 --> 00:04:31,006
magistrate
of such a great city?
118
00:04:31,079 --> 00:04:32,919
Ha ha ha! Oh, yes.
119
00:04:32,985 --> 00:04:35,725
I think it's
a very similar skill set.
120
00:04:35,794 --> 00:04:39,774
But why settle for bureaucracy
when you could be...a god?
121
00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:41,579
(gasps)
(eerie music)
122
00:04:41,644 --> 00:04:45,894
These statues represent the
gods of an ancient pantheon.
123
00:04:45,957 --> 00:04:48,927
You've got such classics
as cow person,
124
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:53,710
cat person, regular cow,
bear person...
125
00:04:53,780 --> 00:04:55,720
What the f
GIL: And of course,
126
00:04:55,786 --> 00:04:57,756
this kickass bird/lion hybrid!
127
00:04:57,827 --> 00:04:59,567
(gasps)
That guy looks like me!
128
00:04:59,631 --> 00:05:01,501
Except even more beautiful!
129
00:05:01,571 --> 00:05:04,351
Oh, he does look
like you, huh?
130
00:05:04,412 --> 00:05:06,722
Is no one else
weirded out by this?
131
00:05:06,786 --> 00:05:08,986
These things
look exactly like us.
132
00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:11,900
Which one looks like you?
Ha. The bear one, obviously.
133
00:05:11,969 --> 00:05:14,409
Uh...
Eh, not really, dude.
134
00:05:14,475 --> 00:05:17,045
Yeah, that statue is in way
better shape than you are.
135
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:19,927
It's a statue.
It can't be in shape.
136
00:05:19,993 --> 00:05:22,233
It's made of dirty old clay
or whatever.
137
00:05:22,299 --> 00:05:25,139
It's actually made
of an indestructible minerality
138
00:05:25,208 --> 00:05:28,148
found only at the deepest parts
of the ocean.
139
00:05:28,217 --> 00:05:30,887
Nobody knows how this ancient
civilization even got it.
140
00:05:30,959 --> 00:05:33,529
Okay, I don't believe any of
the shit this dude is saying.
141
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,140
Ernesto, chill, dude.
142
00:05:35,205 --> 00:05:37,135
Are you jealous
because I have a hot statue
143
00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:39,751
and you don't?
I have a hot statue, too!
144
00:05:39,818 --> 00:05:41,058
That's why it's weird!
145
00:05:41,122 --> 00:05:44,002
It's just
a coincidenciality,
146
00:05:44,065 --> 00:05:45,935
an occurrence of things
that are just weird
147
00:05:46,004 --> 00:05:47,614
but do not mean anything,
guys!
148
00:05:47,675 --> 00:05:48,845
Relaxy, please.
149
00:05:48,913 --> 00:05:50,623
We haven't even
seen the mummy yet.
150
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,664
You have a mummy?
Hells, yeah,
151
00:05:52,724 --> 00:05:54,534
we got those mummies!
Let's go.
152
00:05:54,596 --> 00:05:56,736
(Kevin laughs)
153
00:05:56,802 --> 00:05:59,142
(grunts)
154
00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:02,620
Damn it.
Oh, hey, wait, you guys!
155
00:06:03,590 --> 00:06:06,700
I've been getting weird vibes
ever since we walked in here,
156
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:08,736
and now this guy wants
to show us a mummy?
157
00:06:08,805 --> 00:06:12,775
That's a literal dead body.
It's a super old dead body.
158
00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:14,990
It doesn't count.
It's called an antique.
159
00:06:15,058 --> 00:06:17,398
Antique or not,
this place is weird.
160
00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:19,574
Gil is creepy,
and I say we go home.
161
00:06:19,638 --> 00:06:20,738
No, I can't.
162
00:06:20,808 --> 00:06:22,478
The longer I spend here,
the closer I feel
163
00:06:22,547 --> 00:06:25,047
to my ancient destiny
as a barbarian ruler.
164
00:06:25,121 --> 00:06:26,891
It is intoxicating.
165
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,570
And the longer
I spend here,
166
00:06:28,632 --> 00:06:31,672
the more I realize I would have
made an incredible god.
167
00:06:31,741 --> 00:06:33,781
One of the best gods,
Ernesto.
168
00:06:33,847 --> 00:06:36,017
Come on!
Let's go check out this mummy.
169
00:06:36,087 --> 00:06:37,887
Fine, I'll look
at the dead person,
170
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:39,900
but if anyone tries to sell us
a museum membership,
171
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:41,466
I am outta here.
172
00:06:41,537 --> 00:06:42,767
KEVIN: Of course!
Of course, let's go.
173
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,080
ERNESTO: They make you
feel really bad
174
00:06:44,145 --> 00:06:45,815
if you try to cancel
that's why I still have
175
00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:47,423
my membership
at the Kaleidoscope Museum.
176
00:06:47,487 --> 00:06:49,127
KEVIN: Oh, I love
the Kaleidoscope Museum.
177
00:06:49,193 --> 00:06:52,043
It's my favorite
Kaleidoscopebased institution.
178
00:06:52,102 --> 00:06:54,912
Willkommen to the Mummy Room.
179
00:06:54,977 --> 00:06:57,347
This is the Great Queen.
180
00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,927
TANYA: Oh, the Great Queen?
GIL: The greatest of all time.
181
00:07:00,995 --> 00:07:02,665
She ruled an empire.
182
00:07:02,734 --> 00:07:06,114
She commanded thousands
of loyal followers.
183
00:07:06,177 --> 00:07:08,747
And she was apparently
super easy to talk to,
184
00:07:08,818 --> 00:07:11,028
just like a really
wunderbar personality.
185
00:07:11,092 --> 00:07:12,502
Everybody said so.
186
00:07:12,563 --> 00:07:16,043
Damn, that kind of power,
that kind of leadership?
187
00:07:16,107 --> 00:07:19,117
I bet nobody would email her
about work on a Saturday.
188
00:07:19,183 --> 00:07:22,263
Uh, definitely not, they would
have been immediately exiled.
189
00:07:22,325 --> 00:07:23,995
What was this queen's name?
190
00:07:24,065 --> 00:07:26,265
Her name was Tanya.
191
00:07:26,337 --> 00:07:27,807
TANYA: What?
ERNESTO: Oh, come on!
192
00:07:27,875 --> 00:07:29,375
KEVIN: Oh, my God, Tanya.
That's your name.
193
00:07:29,447 --> 00:07:31,287
Are you messing with me,
Gilandrius?
194
00:07:31,352 --> 00:07:34,532
Gilandrical or Gil,
and wait a minute.
195
00:07:34,596 --> 00:07:37,066
Whatare you saying to me
196
00:07:37,137 --> 00:07:40,177
that your name is Tanya?
197
00:07:40,246 --> 00:07:43,016
And you look like
that hot birdie?
198
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:46,298
And you're...also here?
199
00:07:46,364 --> 00:07:48,814
What a weird series
of coincidinkies,
200
00:07:48,872 --> 00:07:50,342
which, as we all know...
201
00:07:50,409 --> 00:07:52,319
ALL: Is an occurrence of things
202
00:07:52,382 --> 00:07:54,662
that are just weird
but don't mean anything.
203
00:07:54,723 --> 00:07:56,363
Are you guys even listening
to yourselves?
204
00:07:56,427 --> 00:07:59,037
Can you not be downer
for like five seconds
205
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:00,973
of this museum experience?
206
00:08:01,042 --> 00:08:03,852
Learn!
It's almost too perfect.
207
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,457
No...yes...maybe?
208
00:08:06,525 --> 00:08:08,895
But also could be
but it can't be.
209
00:08:08,965 --> 00:08:10,665
(gasps)
The tour is over!
210
00:08:10,737 --> 00:08:12,437
The museum is closed!
Auf wiedersehen!
211
00:08:12,510 --> 00:08:13,380
Gil, wait!
212
00:08:13,445 --> 00:08:16,345
Shit,
what a halfassed tour.
213
00:08:16,421 --> 00:08:18,191
We only saw
like two rooms.
214
00:08:18,260 --> 00:08:20,300
Let's just get out of here.
215
00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:22,736
Oh, no, we're locked in.
216
00:08:22,807 --> 00:08:25,177
Gilandrical, Gilandrical!
217
00:08:25,248 --> 00:08:27,388
Wow, where did he run off to?
218
00:08:27,454 --> 00:08:29,534
Maybe he had to...
(quietly) poo.
219
00:08:29,594 --> 00:08:33,044
He did not have to poo
because he...
220
00:08:33,105 --> 00:08:34,975
is me!
(dramatic musical sting)
221
00:08:35,044 --> 00:08:36,684
Oh, Gil, cool.
222
00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:38,959
Uh, can you open the door so we
can leave your weird museum?
223
00:08:39,023 --> 00:08:41,033
I'm afraid I cannot.
224
00:08:41,095 --> 00:08:43,195
Explain yourself,
Gilandrical!
225
00:08:43,268 --> 00:08:45,338
It's Gil, excuse me,
and for years,
226
00:08:45,408 --> 00:08:47,618
I've searched
for the perfect hosts,
227
00:08:47,682 --> 00:08:52,102
the Queen, the Bird,
and the Bear.
228
00:08:52,162 --> 00:08:54,642
Yeah, I don't know.
Doesn't really look like him.
229
00:08:54,703 --> 00:08:56,473
I know.
This one's a stretch.
230
00:08:56,542 --> 00:08:58,622
Dude, it totally
looks like me.
231
00:08:58,681 --> 00:09:00,921
If I was, like,
a little more shredded,
232
00:09:00,988 --> 00:09:02,588
you would definitely see it.
233
00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:04,600
It's no matter.
It's close enough, okay?
234
00:09:04,666 --> 00:09:09,346
Tonight the Great Queen and
her revered deities rise again.
235
00:09:09,413 --> 00:09:11,823
Their spirits
will fuse with yours,
236
00:09:11,887 --> 00:09:15,357
and they will walk the Earth
once more through you.
237
00:09:15,431 --> 00:09:17,841
Either you come willingly,
or I
238
00:09:17,905 --> 00:09:19,235
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
239
00:09:19,310 --> 00:09:21,650
You want to give me the powers
of this ancient queen
240
00:09:21,717 --> 00:09:24,457
and basically make me
the new queen?
241
00:09:24,526 --> 00:09:27,426
That's correct,
and then through dark magic
242
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,570
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
243
00:09:28,638 --> 00:09:30,338
And would I get
to set my own hours?
244
00:09:30,409 --> 00:09:32,179
Oh, sure, yeah, yeah,
you would totally be in charge.
245
00:09:32,248 --> 00:09:34,918
And could we confirm
that I would be a god,
246
00:09:34,990 --> 00:09:36,190
one of the best around?
247
00:09:36,260 --> 00:09:39,700
One of the best of all
of the arounds.
248
00:09:39,771 --> 00:09:41,411
Well, that's all
I need to hear.
249
00:09:41,476 --> 00:09:43,176
I'm in.
Way ahead of you, dude.
250
00:09:43,248 --> 00:09:44,788
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Ernesto, look at me.
251
00:09:44,853 --> 00:09:48,263
You're telling me you
don't want to be a god?
252
00:09:48,330 --> 00:09:50,540
They're even making
an exception for you!
253
00:09:50,604 --> 00:09:53,314
Okay, ignoring the fact that
I'm a shooin for the god
254
00:09:53,378 --> 00:09:55,048
due to obvious physical
similarities,
255
00:09:55,117 --> 00:09:57,157
this whole thing feels weird.
256
00:09:57,223 --> 00:09:59,063
We should leave.
Come on.
257
00:09:59,129 --> 00:10:00,669
Now.
258
00:10:02,071 --> 00:10:04,981
Oh, come on, Ernesto.
You're ruining the vibe.
259
00:10:05,046 --> 00:10:06,376
Come on.
Come on!
260
00:10:06,451 --> 00:10:07,861
HENCHMAN: Just do it, man.
Come on.
261
00:10:07,922 --> 00:10:09,532
All right, all right, geez.
262
00:10:09,594 --> 00:10:11,374
You guys are so annoying.
263
00:10:11,432 --> 00:10:14,412
TANYA: Yes, peer pressure
for the win!
264
00:10:14,475 --> 00:10:17,985
(ominous music)
265
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:23,772
♪♪ ♪♪
266
00:10:23,836 --> 00:10:25,536
ERNESTO:
Can you guys see anything?
267
00:10:25,609 --> 00:10:27,849
I'm just staring
at a wall here.
268
00:10:27,915 --> 00:10:30,215
Let the ritual commence!
269
00:10:30,289 --> 00:10:33,059
Yes, barbarian queen!
270
00:10:33,130 --> 00:10:36,880
Let's start this ritual!
(laughs)
271
00:10:36,942 --> 00:10:37,812
ERNESTO:
Oh, no.
272
00:10:37,878 --> 00:10:40,688
Let the greatest queen
rise again
273
00:10:40,754 --> 00:10:43,134
to unite the world
under her rule...
274
00:10:43,195 --> 00:10:44,565
KEVIN: Yes!
And to oversee
275
00:10:44,632 --> 00:10:48,482
dozens of projects
that will restore her glory...
276
00:10:48,544 --> 00:10:50,354
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Oversee what?
277
00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:52,516
GIL: And to be available
at all of the hours
278
00:10:52,590 --> 00:10:54,660
for various questions
that any of us may have.
279
00:10:54,729 --> 00:10:56,069
All hours?
280
00:10:56,132 --> 00:10:59,282
GIL: And let the bird and also
the bear rise again as well,
281
00:10:59,343 --> 00:11:00,883
so that their images
may be printed
282
00:11:00,947 --> 00:11:02,847
on tens of hundreds
of Tshirts.
283
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,700
Wait, hold up, Tshirts?
That's not very epic.
284
00:11:05,762 --> 00:11:06,972
Gil, uh, Gil, wait a minute.
285
00:11:07,032 --> 00:11:08,672
But what?
I'm in the middle of something.
286
00:11:08,738 --> 00:11:10,508
No, I get that, but this
is actually sounding like
287
00:11:10,577 --> 00:11:12,547
a not great arrangement.
288
00:11:12,616 --> 00:11:14,486
I'm really just looking for
more flexible work hours.
289
00:11:14,556 --> 00:11:17,196
And I'm trying to get out
of the Tshirt game.
290
00:11:17,263 --> 00:11:20,573
Honestly, I can make you fuse
with the ruling spirits
291
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:23,080
of this dead empire,
but I'd rather find somebody
292
00:11:23,147 --> 00:11:24,647
who, like, wants it, you know?
293
00:11:24,719 --> 00:11:26,859
Somebody who's gonna be
with the team for a while,
294
00:11:26,925 --> 00:11:29,195
because these guys
deserve that.
295
00:11:29,266 --> 00:11:30,636
For sure, man.
Whoohoo!
296
00:11:30,704 --> 00:11:31,944
Ah, Gil, you're my guy!
We love you, Gil.
297
00:11:32,007 --> 00:11:33,877
I love you as well,
hooded figures!
298
00:11:33,946 --> 00:11:35,586
They do seem like
a good group.
299
00:11:35,652 --> 00:11:38,232
Oh, hells yeah, I would
do anything for those guys.
300
00:11:38,293 --> 00:11:40,703
All right, everyone, let's get
the hells out of here.
301
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:42,767
Who wants
a circular carbohydrate?
302
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,480
Code name for pizza!
Whoohoo!
303
00:11:44,545 --> 00:11:46,245
Can we get pineapple?
Yes, yah, yah.
304
00:11:46,317 --> 00:11:48,457
HENCHMAN:
No more YAS, bitches.
305
00:11:52,468 --> 00:11:55,978
Hello?
Uh, guys?
306
00:11:56,046 --> 00:11:58,886
You're free to go,
home slices.
307
00:11:58,955 --> 00:12:01,325
Hold up, are we making
the right decision here?
308
00:12:01,395 --> 00:12:02,925
If we walk out this door,
309
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,540
we are right back
where we started.
310
00:12:04,605 --> 00:12:06,335
Hey, may I
tell you something
311
00:12:06,410 --> 00:12:07,650
that's going to sound, like,
uber cheesy?
312
00:12:07,715 --> 00:12:09,415
Sure.
You can always talk to me
313
00:12:09,486 --> 00:12:11,086
about cheese.
Me as well.
314
00:12:11,157 --> 00:12:14,427
Find what makes you happy,
and do it forever.
315
00:12:14,502 --> 00:12:15,742
I mean, look at me.
316
00:12:15,805 --> 00:12:18,005
I love trying to revive
this ancient empire
317
00:12:18,078 --> 00:12:20,388
and revert the world
to a premodern state,
318
00:12:20,452 --> 00:12:21,722
and do you know what?
319
00:12:21,790 --> 00:12:24,830
It never feels like work,
not one day of it.
320
00:12:24,899 --> 00:12:28,339
I wake up every day excited
to try to find suitable hosts
321
00:12:28,410 --> 00:12:31,590
for the spirits and
to commence the ritual, yes.
322
00:12:31,653 --> 00:12:33,733
Oh, thanks, Gil.
TANYA: Thanks, Gil.
323
00:12:33,793 --> 00:12:36,133
Oh, and hey, please
to be telling your friends
324
00:12:36,199 --> 00:12:37,809
about the
Ancient History Museum.
325
00:12:37,871 --> 00:12:41,181
In terms of making our rent,
utilities bills, etc.,
326
00:12:41,247 --> 00:12:43,687
we're doing very poorly,
so spread the word, yes?
327
00:12:43,756 --> 00:12:45,056
We will, Gil.
328
00:12:45,126 --> 00:12:47,666
We actually do offer
annual museum memberships
329
00:12:47,735 --> 00:12:49,065
at a discount
if you're interested.
330
00:12:49,138 --> 00:12:50,838
You can sign up right now.
I'm ready.
331
00:12:50,910 --> 00:12:53,650
Noooooo!
332
00:12:55,022 --> 00:12:57,102
(growling)
333
00:12:57,162 --> 00:12:58,132
(grunting)
334
00:12:59,637 --> 00:13:01,207
Arrrhhh!
335
00:13:01,274 --> 00:13:03,924
(huffs)
336
00:13:03,974 --> 00:13:08,524
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