All language subtitles for Last Looks 2021 english

What's missing from this picture?

We'll start with extraction, which is
a fancy word for trashing the planet.

What this looks like looks like is we chop
down the trees, we blow up the mountains

to get the metals inside and use up all
the water, and we wipe out the animals.

We are running out of resources.

Now, I know this can be hard
to hear, but it's the truth.

So we've got to deal with it.

In the past three decades alone,

one third of the planet's natural
resources has been consumed.

Gone.

We are cutting and mining and hauling and
trashing the place so fast that we're

undermining the planet's very ability
for people to live here.

We have 5% of the world's population, but
we're using 30% of the world's resources.

If everybody consumed at US rates,
we would need three to five planets.

And you know what?

We've only got one.

Fuck.

You live in that?

Seriously?

Does your chicken have a name?

-Chicken.
-Chicken?

Chicken.

Where's all your stuff?

I divested. Cut myself down to a hundred things.

What do you mean a hundred things?

Shirt's one thing, bowl's one thing.
Fork. Sleeping bag. Chicken.

And you kept that hat?

Tell me you at least have a gun.

Jesus, Waldo.

When's the last time you
had anybody up here?

Three years.

You got any friends?

Chicken.

Ah. Wow.

What the fuck is that?

I bought the land from a sculptor.

Sure, because this
spoke to you, right?

Remember that time we were
supposedly broken up?

I ran in to you outside the
art museum on Wilshire,

I was on a date.

I ditched the guy,

we went straight to your truck
in the parking structure?

It was right next to La Brea
tar pits, by the mammoth.

Okay,

first of all, this
isn't a mammoth.

It's an elephant.

Second of all, you're
saying I bought this

property because I had a subconscious
sexual memory prompted by this sculpture.

Which you brought me straight to.
The minute I came to visit you.

Uninvited.

Look, I'm here on business.

Alastair Pinch. The actor.

Killed his wife.

Maybe he killed her, maybe he didn't.

I don't think he even knows.
The guy's a blackout drunk.

The network's got a
lot riding on him.

So they're paying for his lawyer.

So he did kill her.

It means the money's serious.

They're looking to hire a PI.

This gig could jump me to the majors.

If I could deliver the famous
Charlie Waldo to work it with me.

Come on.

You know these Hollywood types.

They always want to put a big name in it.

I'm retired.

I see that.

From the force.

I'd be willing to go 80/20 yours.

What would I even do with the money?

Buy a nicer 100 things.

Coz then my life would be complete?

Exactly!

Pass.

Lydell was a long time ago.

Lorena.

You don't have to keep punishing yourself.
You don't have to live like..

You don't have to live like that.

Fuck. You expect me to apologize?

Hey, I grew up poor. For real
poor, not with solar panels.

Fine.

Come on, let me bring you
back into the real world.

Just for a few weeks.

We'll have some laughs.

I can't.

Alright. It was worth a shot.

Can I have a hug at least?

You ghosted me, Waldo.

I ghosted everybody.

I know.

You smell better than you look.

You can't stay up here forever.

No? Why not?

Same reason you and I
kept hooking back up.

Unfinished business is a bitch.

Things are not looking good for
celebrated actor Alastair Pinch.

He's under renewed
scrutiny by the LAPD

regarding the murder of
his wife, Monica Pinch,

two weeks ago.

Investigators say they
are focusing their

inquiries on the actor himself
as the prime suspect.

[Wolf whistle]

Jesus, Waldo.

You know, you shouldn't do that.

Call a cop.

So Lorena Nascimento was out
here a couple of days ago, huh?

Oh, yeah? I'll have to
check my visitors log.

Don't jerk me.

She's been scoping you
for the Pinch murder.

Dumb bastard's the least of her worries.

She say anything about Don Q?

Is he a game show host?

A Captain of industry.

A recreational
pharmaceutical industry.

The girl's on his payroll.

That sounds like bullshit.

Oh, that's not bullshit.

You check out her ride?

Where do you think she
gets that kind of cheese?

Where does a cop with four kids

get the cheese for a Vette?

You dropped this.

Anyway. She took something
belonged to Don Q.

Not exactly the healthiest
lifestyle choice.

Now, what I think is she came
up here to leave it with you.

Leave what?

And if you're smart
you will give it to me.

I don't know what it is.
I haven't..

Stop wasting my time, man.

And the last thing she did on her computer
was Google map this ass pile.

Last call on her cell
was from Idyllwild.

What do you mean last call?

Is there a 'missing persons' open?

Hell, no.

That would require
somebody gave a shit.

What?

This is Lorena. You
can leave a message.

But, if you want me to call you back,
you better make it interesting.

Fuck you, Lorena.

Damn!

Yo, hit him again. Come on, hit
him again dog. Hit him.

Oh, he gonna fuck your white ass up.

-Oh , hit him again. Hit him again.
-No. No. Wait. Wait!

He'll be gone. Hit him again.

Whatever the problem is here, see,
we can, we can communicate.

Is that a purse?

It's a Bottega, motherfucker.

Oh, shit. Hey!

Oowee. Yeah, yeah. Y'all come on big man, y'know.
Come on dog. That's the one. Come on big fella. Oh, that's it.

What do you morons want?

-Hey, hold on, hold on, hold on.
-Relax, big man.

We want you to stay yo ass up this muthafuckin mountain.

And stay away from Alastair Pinch.

That's right. If you don't, you'll get more visits
from Palisade Park, you motherfucker.

What the fuck is wrong with him?

Help me up.Come on.

-Dude, what did you do?
-He ain't standing up.

What the fuck are you doing?

I hate to break it to you boys.

I've got nothing to do with Alastair Pinch.

Bull shit.

You work for the network. It's in the trades.

Let me see that.

Boom.

It's upside down, you moron.

Yeah, that's right.

-What the fuck?
-Knock him out dog.

Come on.

Just stay your hillbilly ass out of LA, bitch.

This is Lorena. You
can leave a message.

But, if you want me to call you back,
you better make it interesting.

The mailbox is full and cannot accept
new messages at this time.

Mr. Waldo. Wilson Sikorsky,
head of the Network. Hop in.

You know, Fontella Davis,
Alastair Pinch's attorney.

Never had the pleasure.

Hold on. Hang on, hang on.

No, no, I'm not paying him 40. I'll pay him
25 and he can kiss on my balls.

What was the last series he had? Two years he'll be
playing Sasquatch on the Discovery Channel.

Hey, why did you put it in the trades
that I was working for your Network?

Mr. Waldo, when you land a star, you
don't hide him under your ass.

You tell the whole fucking world. You were
the youngest ever Captain in the LAPD.

-Did we get that right?
-Youngest Detective. period.

Yeah, close enough. We want
you to start right away.

Even though Lorena Nascimento
seems unavailable.

She's missing. When's the
last time you talked to her?

No. No.

Fuck, no. That I can work with.

Then you do your homework. She's
going to be exactly like her mother.

-Do you have kids, Mr. Waldo?
-No.

I'm going to give you my cell phone.
Don't call the office.

My new assistant's a fuckwit.

But call me day or night, though
I got to get this tied up.

You may or may not be
aware I'm facing a takeover.

And I want you on NCN with me tonight.

I assume you know how to find the Barber shop.

Hey, guys. The thing is,

I never told Lorena I'd do this. Sorry.

So I tell you my nuts are in a vice
and you give them an extra turn?

Want more money just have your Reps call me.

Show's worth twice now what it used to be.
This murder thing has done wonders for the ratings.

I could probably get 6 mil and ep, but you know
I got to have 100 episodes and I only got 57.

So I need two more years of what, to cable?

Alastair Pinch, healthy, happy,
and off of death row.

I can't take this.

I only own 100 things.

If I take that, it's going to be 101, you know?

Not really.

Well, it's complicated.

Let's go with one of the other PIs

I know we said we needed to
create distraction, but this? Come on.

I'm fond of your work, too.

A real PI. One that knows how to do
the job. Not just some has-been.

-All right, look,
-Hey hey hey, Shh.

I'm only here to tell you to put out a
Press release that says I'm not involved.

Alright? That I turned it down. Can you do that?

This is the hottest gig in town.

Everybody's chasing it.
Here's what I'll do.

I'll introduce you to Alastair.

I'll pay you for the day, whether
you take the case or not.

Excuse me. Hey. Yeah.

What was Lorena gonna charge?

-A thousand a day plus expenses.
-Two thousand.

And not to me.

A donation to the Sierra Club in memory of Lydell Lipps.

Deal.

It's a shame your kids are gonna miss this.

You're about to meet a mother fucking legend.

So Stevie and I were at my estate.

I was drinking absinthe, and several snifters in

I decided that this would be the perfect

night to teach Stevie Wonder how to drive.

And that it might be most entertaining

to let him motor about the lawn with me
outside the car, trying to dodge it.

-Excuse me. Ready to change, Mr. Pinch?
-Oh, Thank you, Cheryl. Yeah.

Anyway, I thought I'd give Stevie a sporting chance.

So there I was, trousers around my ankles.

Stevie gave it some stick and I spent the
next fortnight pissing Claret in Ward C.

-Where's my mustache clubber?
-Clubs up.

Let me know when we're set.

Grazie, babies.

This date. So strained. So stained.

-Is he shitfaced?
-Ha, come on.

It is such a privilege to
get to watch this man work.

He's got a shitload of
Shakespeare Awards under his bed.

Greatest fucking actor since Brando.

I get him Wednesday nights
after Jessica Biel.

Background

and.. action.

Let me tell you a story from when
I was just a tyke in Tuscaloosa,

My granddaddy, Raymond Forbishaw,
he was a jurist himself. Family court.

He used to set me on his knee and say,

Johnnie, for 99 days, the judge's job is merely

to be that blindfold on the statue of Lady Justice.

For 99 days, you do that,

and justice in its natural
wisdom will find its own way.

But Johnnie, he'd say

on the 100th day, a great judge
knows that he needs to be justice.

Now I wouldn't be so bold as to
call myself a great judge.

But, I do know that as I sit here today,
I'm thinking about my granddaddy.

And that's why I'm going to direct
this verdict and find this here Defendant

Guilty.

Cut!

Wow! Wow, Sir. That was terrific. Terrific.

Bloody Jesus.

You're not going
to top that one.

I'll see you all tomorrow, then.

Did you hear what I just said?

He's supposed to say not guilty.

-He said guilty.
-Fuck!

-You just told me I had to have cancer.
-Sorry.

Alastair.

Yes?

Uh, I hate to do this to you, but we're
going to have to do one more.

-The last line is not guilty
-Not.

-What did I say?
-Guilty.

The fuck I did.

He didn't say that, did he?
I mean. but really, just please.

No, I know what I said, love.

Let's just look at the playback.

Well, you wouldn't have said that.

Can we just see the playback, please?

You. What are you smirking at?

What? I didn't say anything.

Do you think it's easy to carry this piece
of shit on my shoulders week after week?

Do you think I need a twat like you
standing there building up contretemps?

How long have you worked on this show?

It's my first week.

Your first week. Give this first week, everyone..

Bloody..

That's why I'm going to direct this verdict..

-Let that be a lesson to you.
-You good?

I'm fine. Let's do this. Come on.

Let's do it. Let's roll.

Rolling.

Does that happen often?

Sometimes after lunch.

We always put a stunt guy right there.

Pay him extra.

Don't tell Alastair.

Ready. Action!

..and find this here Defendant,

not guilty!

Cut!

Wouldn't be the first time I've had the clap.

Entré.

Not guilty.

The Lord of the manor down to
slum a bit with the vassals.

To what do we owe the honor?

I wanted to introduce you to Charlie Waldo.

The Detective we told you about.
He used to be King shit at the LAPD.

Ah, the fallen angel. You've landed him.

Didn't I promise you I would? I'd give
you the shirt off my back, you know that.

I'd prefer the watch off your wrist.

Have you seen what this man wears?
It cost more than the house I grew up in.

Kudoke skeleton. They only make 35 a year.

Maybe I'll make you a wrap gift of one. How's that?

-Can we have that signed in blood?
-Ha. In blood, he says.

I'm done for the day, Detective. Do you
have plans? Where do you live?

Idyllwild. I'm only here for today.

The details. We sort of..

I haven't agreed to take this case.

I'll find a hotel for tonight.

-Nonsense. You'll stay at my house.
-Great idea.

Right at the scene of the crime.

You don't mind sleeping surrounded
by yellow tape, do you?

Ha. This fucking guy!

Come on Waldo, what do you say?
What's the worst that can happen?

Lorena turns up in a day or two.
You can go back to wherever you came from.

Hell, maybe you can get your reputation back.

Just kidding.

Interest you in a wee snifter, Detective?

No, thank you.

I deplore drinking alone,
so I'll have a double.

She was so proud of this room.

Chinchin.

This was in Town and Wanker magazine, you know.

Why don't you walk me through that morning?

Alright.

One more time.

It was a Saturday.

I woke up, or came to, in my study
about a half a mile down that way.

I realized I had no recollection
of the previous nights.

I came in here, found my sweet Monica.

I ran back to the kitchen, dialed 911.

There was a shattered vase.

Anyhow, when the ambulance arrived
they told me she was already gone.

And had been for quite some time.

Does anyone else have keys?

Only Rosario. That's our Nanny.

And she was in Venezuela visiting her family.

Nanny.

Little kids in the house?

Yes, we have one child, Gabby.

She likely wasn't the killer either.

But she'll be home from kindergarten soon enough,

If you think it's worth trying to wrest a confession.

Pretty glib, considering.

Forgive me. Dear Gabby doesn't
even know, of course.

The world is certain I murdered my wife, Mr. Waldo.

and I can't even tell you the world is wrong.

If you know a man who's handled a
similar predicament with more élan

point me to him and I shall gladly emulate.

You ever thought about trying to stop drinking?

All the time.

But this doesn't seem the
week for that now, does it?

Daddy!

Princess Ozma. Where did you come from?

Want to hear a song Little Doggg
taught us at school today?

A little dog? Why yes, of course.

Brush every morning. Brush every night.

I brush and I brush so my teeth will be white.

Teeth can be shiny.

Teeth can be gold.

=I hope I still have
some when I'm very old.

-You know it!
-I do know it!

Gabby, I'd like to meet my new friend, Mr. Waldo.

He looks scary like a lion.

Yeah, but he's a friendly lion.

Gabby and I are going to spend some Gabby time
before dining. Her Mercedes has asked for his oats.

Oh, you haven't decided to
take the case yet, have you?

What say you, Detective?

Will you return to your mountain
and leave me to the fates?

Or will you stick around the shitty of the
Angels long enough to see the police

maybe get it right this time?

Whatever right may look like.

Daddy, can Mr. Lion drive to school
with us tomorrow, can he please?

Yay!

Will this be alright?

It's perfect.

Fuckin' Lorena.

Guilty.

..and turn down the volume
on the Media Circus.

Oh, come on, Fontella.

You live for the Media Circus.

Now I'm hearing there could be an
indictment as early as tomorrow.

We've not been told that.

And now LA Times is reporting that
sources on the LAPD states there are no

unidentified fingerprints anywhere in
that room. What does that suggest to you?

It suggests that the real
killer knew what he was doing.

You promised us Charlie Waldo
from the Lydell Lipps case.

What does it say that he's not here with you?

Charlie Waldo is busy uncovering..

Welcome to 'Kindergartens of
the rich and famous'.

Gabby, Mr. Lion needs to talk to your teacher.

But first, he's going to park this beast.

Now get out, you little blighter.

Baby back ribs in there? I'm
thinking of having your lunch.

Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, my sweet Captain.
A fellow of infinite jest and most excellent fancy.

He hath borne me on his back a thousand times.

But now holds court in my imagination.

Please, my gorge rises at it.

You're a shadow of your former self.

It's that ketone diet I'm on.

I'm starvin'. I think I may have taken it a bit too far.

'Ave you got anything in your lunch? Like
a pork chop, ham sandwich? No?

I'm afraid it wouldn't do you any good,
dear boy. I think you're dead.

Dead? That's tragic.

Yes, indeed. It's tragic.

Where be your jibes now?
Your gambles, your song?

Your flashes of merriment that
were want to set the table all a roar.

..tore my britches. Roar. So they changed
my nappy, but it's all squishy.

-Ah, yes. Thank you, thank you.
-That was funny, Daddy.

Yes, that speech always slays them.

Come, let's play on the swings.

I believe Mr. Lion wants to ask Miss White whether
Daddy plays nicely with the other children.

Off we go. Let's get to the swings. We're
going to have a swinging time.

My name is Waldo.

-I'm a Detective working for Alastair.
-Jayne.

My heart breaks for Gabby.

Mr. Pinch is doing a lot to keep her spirits up.

And Mrs. Pinch, what was she like as a parent?

Mrs. Pinch?

We have the children memorize these poems.

I like to ask the kids, whose mom
and dad can recite them too?

Half the time these parents can't, but

the nanny can in two languages.

What about the Pinches?

Mrs. Pinch never knew them.

Mr. Pinch?

Always.

That's unusual.

Her death must have shocked the
Hell out of this place, huh?

Not me.

Good morning, kids.

Okay, everyone find their place.
Get your Bunnies.

We're going to start by writing our names
on the back of them, so have your markers.

Miss White, I'm going to need
to talk to you again.

Sure.

Does everyone have their Bunny
from yesterday? =Yes, Miss White.

Come meet me tonight.

We can talk then.

-Alright. Have you got your name set?
=Yes, Miss White.

Do you put your boots
on your chairs at home?

I live in a trailer with a chicken.

What happened to this vase?

Vase?

Ah, yes. Well.

That's the one she was killed with.

What was that? Ceramic?

Ovenware. I'd far rather miss it.

What about that table?

It's different.

Monica was a tinkerer.

No room was ever finished to her satisfaction.

And that sculpture?

The Bard?

The sculpture.

Ah, dear boy, that's a Regis Award
award for my Richard the third.

Did you move it?

I've never been much for acting trophies.

Monica had that one on display
for sentimental reasons.

-That was the production on which we met.
-Really?

Perhaps it's wherever Monica
put my other Regis's or my

People's Choice Award.

A good night, sweet Prince.

Flights of Angels sing me to thy breasts.

There goes the good girl kindergarten teacher.

Wait. So I have a few 'makers in me.

Why weren't you shocked when
Monica Pinch was killed?

Ok, Mr. Waldo, I have a confession.

Okay.

I've been watching all the TV
coverage since the murder.

I knew exactly who you were the minute
you walked into my classroom.

I figured.

Who was Lydell Lipps?

Everyone keeps talking about Lydell Lipps.

I can usually tell when someone's messing
with me and you're jamming up my radar.

Maybe your radar is just rusty.

Yeah, maybe.

Here you go. Whiskey.

To whiskey and good hair.

It's been a while.

Okay, If you want to know, I'll tell you.

Eleven years ago, there was a robbery at 7-Eleven.

The girl behind the counter and
two customers got shot dead.

I turned up.

A kid named Donnie Lipps,
leaned on him pretty hard.

It paid off. He said he was
waiting in the car outside.

And in return for a deal he
would give me the shooter.

Turns out that was Lydell, his brother.

Signed. Sealed.

My career is off to the races, right?
And I am on fire with ambition.

Everything's going great.

Cut to years later.

Lydell comes up for parole

and the prosecutor's asked me to
help him prep for the hearing.

So I go see the brother again.

who's in prison himself at this point.

Three strikes. Unrelated.

Only now he tells me that the
original story was bullshit.

He made it up to get me off his back.

So at, at that point, Lydell had been in jail for..

Seven years, three months and 16 days.

Well, next thing I learned,

it is a lot harder to get an innocent man
out of jail than to put a guilty man in.

System isn't designed to deal with mistakes,

and, some individuals aren't either.

I keep pushing, and I keep
pushing, and I keep pushing.

And I'm doing everything I can.

And this goes on for a year.

And then Lydell got stabbed.

In a Yard fight. And he bled to death.

After spending every day of his adult life locked
up for something that he didn't fucking do.

And that I built a career on.

And when I ran out of people who would listen,

which took about six months,

I quit. And I started talking
to anyone with a microphone.

I guess that would have
burned a lot of bridges.

Oh, I burned the fucking river.

You still haven't told me.

What?

Why weren't you shocked about Monica Pinch?

Wow. Of course I was shocked.

And how could I not be shocked?

I don't follow.

Waldo.

Can't you tell when a girl just
wants to have a drink with you?

I said, a drink.

Three years in the woods.

You haven't been with
anybody all that time?

No.

That is hot, Waldo.

-Alastair. -Yeah.
-They're going to arrest you.

Those are News Helicopters.
LAPD's putting on a show.

Go put some clothes on.

Don't be silly, love. The network will
adore me in this wardrobe.

Anyway. If it's good enough for Wacko
Jacko, it's good enough for me.

-Beautiful.
-And tits and teeth.

-Hold your fire.
-Morning.

Alastair Pinch, you're under arrest for
the murder of Monica Pinch.

Come on. Do you have to do it like this?
Let him come in and surrender himself.

Hands behind your back.

Really? You're gonna cuff him? You
can't do this for us for old times?

Fuck you, old times. You made 10,000
good cops look like the fucking Klan.

Say goodbye to your pretty
house, huh, Olivier?

-Last time you're gonna see it,
-Daddy?

Daddy's just going for a sleepover.

Be a good girl. See you tomorrow.

Let's go.

-Has he got bail?
-20 million.

Don't be silly. We're paying the bail. It's
only 20 million. We're insured for it.

-I gotta talk to you,
-Hold on.

That's the end of it. So, yeah..

I spoke to my guy at LAPD.

He's why they turned it into a festival.

You have to get rid of him.

Look, I'm happy to quit. I don't want
to make this worse for anybody.

Ha, worse? You're making it better. Listen,
does one of you guys have the time?

Apparently, I have Charlie Sheen in my office.

How is he making it better?

The bigger assholes the cops are,
the more sympathy for our protagonist.

Cheer up, Waldo. You can't win them all.

Yeah, yeah. Be right there.

Assholes.

Jesus. Waldo.

Oh, boy. You don't know me anymore,
you understand? You're poison.

Good to see you too, Freddy.

You been to Division yet?

Unh uh. Probably 20 guys in that building
like to knock my teeth out.

20? Hundred! Twenty'd like to
shoot them out with a bullet.

I want the autopsy protocol on Monica Pinch.

All the slides, all the photos.

Yeah, good luck with that.

They indict, Defense has the right to everything.

So you can deal with me.

Or you can deal with Fontella Davis,

who's every bit the delight she
seems on TV. And who, by the way,

never got you Laker tickets or lied
to your wife to cover for you,

Charlie. Fucking. Waldo.

Straight up, Freddie. How do you make this?

Cerebral hemorrhage. Severe blow to right temple.

Second contusion back of the head,
probably from where she fell.

Victim was found locked in a house

with a drunk with two assault
convictions in England.

So I'm guessing suicide?

And the alarm, you know about that, right?

Turns out the alarm company has it
being on since the previous night.

Far after time of death?

Too close to call.

Guy clobbered his wife to death with a vase.

That simple.

Hello?

I know who killed Monica Pinch.

Who is this?

Meet me at that rock pile you live at, Waldo.

I'm not there. I'm in La.

Piece of shit trailer. Now.

Nini, is that a croissant? Give me one of them..

Nini, check under there.

Nothin?

Anything? Tupp, open this shit up.

This a Kindle?

How you like it so far?

I'm trying to decide
between this and the nook.

Looks a little cheaper.

I like the Kindle for content.

Content, right. How's that tech support?

Keep looking.

Pretty good.

Out of ten, what would you give it?

-Eight.
-Eight! Fuckin..

I'm Don Q.

You heard of me?

This man is Nini.

Do not fuck with this man.

He was number one ranked Inuit light heavyweight

Nini, squeeze me.

-Inuit?
-Yeah.

Is that like Eskimo?

No, no. See,

Nini here, he's from Canada.

You can say Eskimo in Alaska, but in
Canada, they prefer to be called Inuit.

To them, Eskimo is considered pejorative.

Give it to..Can you be careful with the chicken?

There he goes.

Wow.

That was fucking good.

Yeah, of course.

That ain't the reason for our visit.

Where is it?

Where is what?

The Mem that Lorena left with you.

Where is it, Waldo? Huh?

I think you're like, telling me
you killed Monica Pinch.

So you are a detective.

Where are all your possessions?

I've been minimized.

What's that? Like the artist with
the white on white, and shit?

Sort of like a lifestyle.

You have a hundred things.

Hundred things.

Well, 99 now.

That's fucked up, Waldo.

Especially if one of them is mine.

You got 24 hours and then I want my Mem.

What's a Mem?

Call my boy here, when you got it.

818-4 NANOOK.

The alternative..

maybe you end up like Lorena.

Where is she?

Nini, let's go.

Hey, Fuckface!

I don't think I look like a fuckface. If
anything, he looks like a fuckface.

I mean, what does a fuckface look like?

This doesn't make sense.

Back to a hundred.

Jackoff.

Charlie Waldo.

This is what I want. One.

Everyone who is on crime
scene security. Two.

All transport and medical
and emergency

personnel who had contact with
the victim and the suspect.

Don't talk so nobody gives
him anything. He's a rat.

Right.

Nothing to see here. Shows over.
Let's go. Back to work.

Alright, how about first to respond?

I'll start there.

Huh?

Don't talk to him.
Nobody talks to him.

He's not here, right? You ignore
him, understand? Understood?

Look, you do what I say, not him.

You.

Officer...

Anus?

Annis.

That school must have sucked.

Do not speak to him, Annis.

You at the Pinch house?

You the first ones
you and your partner?

Do you know who Fontella Davis is?

Ignore him.

Do you want on TV every night
making this case about you?

Show's over.

When you arrived at the house
was the door dead bolted?

You sure? Frosted glass. You
couldn't see him unlock it.

You heard him that clearly?

The alarm was on.
We saw him disarm it.

-What did I say?
-Yes, Anus.

But the real killer
could have set

the alarm on the way out if
the door wasn't deadbolted.

Are they just talking shit?

What about the murder weapon, or bullshit.

The Earthenware vase, wasn't you that
gathered up all the pieces was it?

Do not fucking answer him, all right?

Yes, Waldo. he got all the pieces
of the murder weapon.

I supervised it myself.

-The Earthenware vase?
-The Earthenware vase.

Only the Earthenware vase
isn't the murder weapon.

Not if Alastair Pinch killed her.

That things gotta weigh 28 lbs. and
came down over the victim's right eye.

You'd have to be a pretty strong
lefty to make a shot like that.

Not a drunken righty.

Almost convincing.

Pinch is a righty. I've watched him pour.

Officer Annis. Can I have a moment?

You see that statue?

That's a Regis award
for acting in England.

You ever seen it before?

Because it's missing. That's the murder weapon.

Ah Jeez. Time to go home.

Three and a half pounds. There are some more
vases, the victim hits that on the way down.

Hey. Don't look at him.

The Department's going to let you get
fucked on this, believe me on that shit.

That's it. Waldo. I'm going to give
you 10 seconds. How about that?

-10 seconds? -Yeah.
Perfect. That's all I need.

Nine.

Annis, you don't want to be the guy who puts
away an innocent man, (-Seven) believe me.

-Listen, pull down your pants coz you're gonna get fucked.
-Come on. Get the fuck outta here!

-You're gonna get fucked, Annis!
-Do what?

It sounded like he fumbled with the dead..

What did I tell you!!

He was still drunk. We couldn't tell for sure.

Shut the fuck up, Anus!

Nobody talks to this scumsack.

This man is not a Cop.
He is not one of us.

It's a fucking rap.

He's a person of interest in
a homicide investigation.

For those of you that don't know.

The body of one..

adult female, ID'd as Lorena Nascimento.

She borrowed her husband's Porsche.

Yeah. She didn't tell you about him, did she?

We found it on fire off the
freeway up by Magic Mountain.

Fully engulfed. Body inside.

That item she gave you.

That could put Don Q away for so long
you'd both die of natural causes.

Why don't you just give it to me?

I tried to warn you.

What the fuck?

Fuck you! Fucking! Fuck you!

Killed her!

They fucking killed her!

I, uh, I had my bike on this rack.

I think I left my lock.

Following me all day, you..

Who the fuck are you?

Listen to me. Listen to me.
Specializing in personal injury,

if you do not unhand me I will seek damages.

Please?

Alright, fine.

Fine.

You a private eye?

Yeah. I'm a private eye.

Who the fuck are you?

You sir, just committed a felony.

Presenting yourself as a PI in the State of California

when you are, in fact unlicensed.

Now, I will level with you.

I have a client who cannot understand why

you would associate yourself with
a murderer like Alastair Pinch.

Beautiful watch.

I'm not going to let you muscle me on this.

Now, Mr. Waldo.

Let's just communicate.

There's been no threat from me, nor do I intend..

-I apologize, Sir.
-If you don't tell me who sent you, I am going to fucking kill you.

Sir. Listen. It is my hope and my client's that this

pleasant, ok, 'happenstantial' meeting between the two

of us is the last time you and I see each other.

So, with that in mind..

Sir. Please,

I'll take my things.

Yeah. Actually, on second thought.

Neither one of these are my bike.

Good day.

Yeah, thanks for the phone, you
fucking ambulance chaser.

Warren Gomes, esquire.

Warren Gomes. And the last call was to..

Darius Jamshidi..Darius Jamshidi.

Darius Jamshidi.

Hunh.

Where do we live, Darius Jamshidi?

Jamshidi.

There was nothing left for me out there, Ok.

Assholes. Fuck.

You ghosted me, Waldo.

I'm looking for Darius Jamshidi!!

Come on. Who's gonna help me?

You gonna to help me?

I spy, with my little eye..

Darius Jamshidi.

No? You look like a Darius.

Alright. That's enough.

-Oh, Yeah?
-Yeah.

Oh, yeah? Really?

Hey, hey, hey. Don't look at me.

He attacked me. I'm..

Just stop, friend.

That's all? Two against one.

Come on.

Where's your sense of sportsmanship?

Stop!

Take a moment.

I want you to take his handcuffs off his belt
and handcuff one of his wrists.

Okay.

-Tell him.
-Do it.

Ok. Hey, Hey, hey.

Now I have an idea.

And I don't want you to panic, ok.?

Just go with me.

Ok...Alright.

Now.

We're going to take a little walk.

And you're going to introduce me to Mr. Jamshidi.

All right, let's go. We're walking.

Is that him?

No?

Is it Him?

Okay.

What about him, huh?

I'm Darius Jamshidi.

The real police will be here in a few minutes, but

I'd be happy to speak with you until then.

I see you're trying to buy
a television network, huh?

Huh?

This ends with you walking out
that door in a few minutes.

You sic Warren Gomes on me?

I assume you sent those kids
too, from Palisades Park.

Question is, why do you want me
to stay away from the Pinch case?

-I don't know who you are.
-You met my wife.

But you just ruined my benefit.

And no doubt cost a very,
very important charity

tens of thousands of dollars.

Now I want you to go release those two men.

And I want you to unlock that one man's
ear from the other man's backside.

I'll do that.

My husband will show you
to the tennis courts.

You'll find those men there and your chain.

-Thank you.
-Asshole.

She seems very nice.

This has been delightful.

The wall, past the next house,
backs out onto Mulholland.

If you'd be so kind as to not cause
any more drama in the party.

Tell me who Warren Gomes is.

Gomes is dead.

What are you talking about?

I just spoke with the police.

Someone shot him just before you arrived.

It wasn't you, perchance, was it?

Why don't you tell me what
he was doing for you?

Warren Gomes has a, had a talent

for special research which allows my
company to make what it makes.

Which is?

Money.

So Gomes was digging up dirt to
help you buy the network.

Why do you want me to
stay away from Pinch?

I believe that's for you.

Waldo?

Waldo!

Alastair?

Rosario!

Alastair?

Where's Alastair?

Line?

-I'll recuse myself if I have to.
-Shit!

..And cut..

Perhaps, I must have been
distracted by your perfume.

Things are getting fucking strange
and I need your help.

Darius Jimshidi.

That name mean anything to you?

No. But Robert Blake called last night.

Asked if I want to play pinochle on Thursday.

You do realize that everyone
is sure you did this?

The only thing giving me doubts is that
someone's busting my horn,

and me figuring out why

is the only thing standing between
you and a life sentence.

So when I ask for help, I don't know,

maybe you should fucking help!

Simmer down. How can I be of service?

Is there anything
you're not telling me?

Like what?

Like did you invite someone
over to your house that night?

-No.
-You sure?

Absolutely.

Could you invite someone over to the
house and not remember it the next day?

I've gotten married, fathered children, and taken
out mortgages, and not remembered the next day.

When did you move the furniture around?

I told you Monica was a constant
tinkerer. She was never..

The night table in my room doesn't fit.

I'm thinking someone moved it, from your room

and the one in your room from the living room.

Probably on the night of the murder.

Unless you moved it since.

I have not moved them since. Piss off.

What shall you do, Detective?

If you find that I did, in fact, murder my wife?

Will you stand for your client, or,

or for truth and justice, like the
incorruptible Charlie Waldo of yore?

You stick with truth and justice, Waldo.

If I've killed my little girl's mother,

I'll take what's coming to me and call it even.

-Daddy!
-Ah! There's my darling.

I know all of my lines for the play.

I can't wait to see your
Rumplestiltskin. Come now.

Today I brew. Tomorrow, I bake
and then the Prince child I'll take!

..Ah, that's perfect! You sound like a maniac!

You sober enough to drive?

I suppose so. Why?

I'll meet you at your house.

-Whats up?
-Nothin.

Just lock your door and don't answer it.

Hey! Fuckhead!

Tell me about Lorena.

Fuck you.

How about you tell me about my Mem?

I don't even know what a fucking Mem is!

Tell me about my Mem.

Who are you people?

Cool you're jets down.

I think you're prevaricating, Waldo.

She says she gave it to you.

Last words the bitch ever said,
So I'm inclined to believe her.

You know, she was still alive
when I poured the gasoline on her?

Fucking kill you, you fuck!

You dirty motherfucker.

-Waldo.
-Lorena.

Waldo....you just had a concussion.

Waldo, can you focus?

Yeah.

The School nurse ran home.
I said I'd take care of you.

Fucking Hell.

Oh. No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't confuse you.

It's 4:30 in the afternoon.

Just had a concussion.

Ok, go really slowly. I'll
drop you off at Alastairs.

Lot of traffic.

Thanks for taking me home.

I might have a better idea.

Do you trust me?

Why should I trust you?

Because you'll like it.

All right. Well, this is me.

Have a nice day.

You too.

Doing whatever it is that you do,

I'm late.

I'll call you.

I know you will.

Mr. Lion did you find my invitation?

Eeee!! Whaddya gonna do?

About what?

Your mane is gone.

Can I tell you a secret?

Yes.

It was stolen by a Princess.

I will get it back for you, ok?

-Will you?
-Uh huh.

Thank you.

You have a good day.

I will.

Yes!

Fucking yes!

Fucking yes! Yes! Yes!

Mem. Memory stick.

Nini, it's your old friend Waldo.

What, cat got your tongue?

Tell your boss he can have his Mem.

Meet me tomorrow. Wilshire
and Catalina. At two o-clock.

Brush every morning now, brush every night.
My motherfucking teeth is hella fucking white.

Teeth can't be shiny, huh? Teeth can't be gold?
You fuck with my teeth, bitch, you ain't never growin' old.

Young man, could I ask you to use
your ear phones please?

I mean, those are the rules.

Excuse me. Who's that you're listening to?

-Swag Doggg.
-Swag Doggg?

Yeh.

Thank you.

We got to talk about it. It's all over social media.

But you're the first hip hop artist we've seen

who spells his name DOGG, G.
What's that about?

Well, you know that third G
is for the big homie, God.

-God,baby.
-Praise the Lord.

Immaculate conception. You feel me?

Except that pink purse from around your neck?

It's a Bottega.

That is a purse.

Feel that?

-I brush every
-Night!

-I brush every
-Day!

-I brush and I brush until my teeth are made
=White!!!

Little Doggg.

Hey, buddy.

Earphones. Rules.

Sorry.

Hello?

Waldo?

Nice of you to call.
Where the hell are you?

I can't say.

Listen, there's a guy who's going to
reach out to you if he hasn't already.

Oh, he has.

Hey, he's for real. Don't mess around.

I know. Everyone thinks he killed you.

He can't if he can't find me.

Hi. I'm writing a piece for Esquire
on the new face of Hip hop.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Sir, are you okay?

It's okay. It's all right.

Could I have that, please?

Backup Nini. It's all right. I got this.

Pretty fucking bold of you to be
disrespecting me like that.

Especially in light of Lorena's final hours.

You should have seen her fucking
eyes when I lit that match, bro.

She was crying. Snot coming down her nose.

I just talked to her. Yeah.

So why don't we cut the bullshit

and you tell me why Lorena was
messing with you in the first place?

Hey, if you don't want that flash drive,
I could always give it to the police.

Go get yourself an ice cream cone.

Get yourself an ice cream cone.

Strawberry. Like your shirt.

Come on, relax. Relax. You're so tense.

Everything all right? No problems at home?

I just want to know you can talk to
me, alright? About anything.

Lorena was working for me. alright?

It's not what you think.

It's marital surveillance on behalf of my sister

watching my old lazy ass brother-in-law.

Lorena comes to see me at this
chop shop I use as an office.

She sees my Mem sitting
there, the bitch palms it.

Then she walks out the office like it's nothing.

Calls me later saying it's collateral
on what she claims I already owe her.

Alright look, I think I got this.

You open to a suggestion?

Whatcha got?

Alright, I give you the Mem.

You let Lorena come back to LA.

We rack up the rest as small claims.

-Yeah?
-Simple.

It's so simple.

I can't believe I didn't fucking think of that.

What!? What are you, fucking nuts?

I got a reputation to uphold, Waldo.

Are you aware of that?

And back against the wall.

MotherFucker!

If you're looking for Q's flash drive
you're out of luck, I didn't bring it.

-What did you just say, Waldo?
-Sorry.

-You got a permit for this?
=Nah. Nope.

I am arresting both of you for the
murder of Lorena Nascimento.

Want to read your boy here
the 6 o-clock news, or what?

Lorena's alive. I just talked to her.

-What?
-Yeah. -Yeah

Fuck!

Well who was in her car then?

Can I say, you both suck at your jobs?

Cuppy was never going to book us anyway.

Just another play to squeeze me.
Ain't that right, Cuppy?

You know, I'm the only one in town

who doesn't grease this motherfucking,
cocksucking, motherfucker.

Little man. You. You'd better
watch your mouth on days

that you're not followed around
by that douchebag Eskimo.

What? What the fuc..

He's an Inuit, you fucking Philistine.

You got another 24 hours, Waldo.

Okay.

Come on. Let's get you up, Cuppy.

Hi.

Do you have a school directory

that I can look up the names of your
students in each class and their parents?

It's for Jayne White.

Swag Doggg.

Jamshidi.

Listen, I'm on to something.

What do you know about Darius
Jamshidi and Swag Doggg?

Are those animated characters?

They both wanted me to stay
the hell away from your case.

I went to the school today
and checked the directory.

They're parents..They're parents
in your daughter's class.

Now I'm thinking that Monica could have
been into something with these other

parents, and one or more
of them wanted her dead.

Question is though, what the
fuck is going on in that class?

Who knows? Show and tell, finger
painting. I don't know. (belches)

-Hey Princess!
-What?

I'm trying to save your life. You
wanta cut the self pity?

Self pity?

Look, you got a terrific little
girl who already lost her mom.

Does she have to lose her dad?

Nobody talks to me that way!
And you know why?

Coz they need the money.

No, because they know they'd
get a damned good drubbing.

Put 'em up. Come on, your turn, love.

You'll get a real fight.

I'm not doing this.

-Come on.
-I'm not doing this.

-Alastair! You're too close!
-You're too damn slippery.

-Alastair!
-Hold still..

.. fight twice my age!

Okay look, I'm a pacifist, and I
refuse to get involved in this.

Alastair?

Well done, Sir.

Have you had enough?

I've had enough.

Let's you and I have a drink.

Help me up.

Oh, you've trimmed the
hedges, handsome devil.

You remember having
mates, don't you Waldo?

Not like you.

There you go. You're right, of course.

I am shitfaced.

More than usual.

Chinchin.

You know what you should have done
when your young man died?

You should have gone on an
epic, two week pub crawl.

Gotten it all out of your system.

To self pity, hmm?

It is a powerful observation
coming from the master.

You and I are two sides of
the same coin, aren't we?

And now here you are,

back among the living in a way
you weren't just a week ago.

Oh, you see a difference?

All the difference in the world.

Simply refuckulous the way you
confronted me out there.

You didn't have that in you when you first

shuffled onto my set with that rat's nest
of a beard and those dead eyes.

You've been brought back to life
mate, like so many of us,

by singular, carnal charms.

Is Jayne keeping the baby?

I think about her all the time,

but I haven't thought it right to
telephone, given the circumstances.

And I was such a cad.

Especially after she told me.

But I was married after all, and what was I to do?

And then after the business with my sweet Monica,

I'm tired, Waldo.

Fearing that you may not be
as good as others believe

is common to all men.

But fearing that deep down,
you may be a monster.

That's a whole different flavor of Hell.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are
about to begin. Please find your seats.

-Hey.
-Hey.

You should have told me
about you and Alastair.

There is nothing to tell you.
He's a kindergarten Dad.

Don't worry, it's not Alastair. It's me.

I found this burner in his house.

On the night his wife died he texted back
and forth with someone inviting her over.

Someone, who said she'd be right there.

Come on.

Let's talk.

Did you have a thing with Swag Doggg, too?

Yes.

And that crazy rich guy, Jamshidi?

You know, I've been getting beaten up and
threatened the whole week because of you.

It had nothing to do with Monica Pinch.

It was a bunch of rich guys that didn't
want their affairs with you exposed.

What do you want, Waldo?

I'm a thrill seeker, and I'm
teaching fucking kindergarten.

And what could be a bigger
rush than sleeping

with the Detective investigating
a death you're involved in?

It wasn't just that.

I really felt something.

Start from the beginning.

And no bullshit.

I was hoping that he would leave his wife.

But, he was an asshole and he kept talking about how
she wanted him to move back to England with her.

Like he didn't give a shit
about what I was telling him.

And after that, total
radio silence.

But I kept texting him
which was, probably stupid.

And then one night he, he messaged me back,

saying that, that Monica was out of the house and I
should come over and we could talk about us.

And before I can even ring the bell

Monica opens the door and
tells me to come inside.

She's holding his phone.

She's the one who
messaged me to come over.

She tells me Alastair's passed out in the study, and

she wanted to see who it was.

When she found out it was
her daughter's teacher she got

pretty unhinged.

Kept talking about

LA was this evil city and

what a mistake it was coming to LA.

I was scared she was
going to get violent. So,

I just ran out of there. I drove away.

And then

the next day, I heard
Monica was dead.

And I tried reaching out to Alastair. But,

He was even more an asshole. He wouldn't talk to me.

Not even when he was dropping Gabby off,

So,

well, when the, when the chips
started falling on him,

I just let them fall.

And you're pregnant?

Alastair?

Jayne, we're about to start.

Yes.

Be right there.

Can we pick this up later?

After the play I'm all yours.

First her necklace, then her ring.
Next I'll take the child of the King.

Today I brew, tomorrow I bake.
And then the Prince child I'll take!

For no one knows, my little game,
nor Rumplestiltskin is my name!

Because my name, you'll never guess. Mwah ha ha!

Jayne?

That girl from 'Louisiana Law'.
What's her name?

Yeah. I need to call her agent.

Yeah, I mean, is she pregnant
or is it..? I don't know.

She's unhappy. Because it's weird, I mean.

I don't know if she changed, or
she's eating, but they tell me that

they're feeding her something very, very strange
because I've never seen a shape quite like that.

Wobbling was a lot, and I, I was
like, it's not going to work.

And I don't want to look at that.

Alright. Well you tell her.

Alright. Bye.

Mr. Waldo!

Mr. Sikorsky.

Apologies for the interruption, but

I made some progress.

Oh, you did? Fantastic.

What is that?

That, my friend, is signed by every quarterback
whoever won two superbowls.

-May I?
-Please. Be my guest.

May I also say it is so good to see your

baby face peeking out where
once a dead animal lay.

And just when you thought I
couldn't get any more handsome.

I, uh, have a run through. But, um,

fuck 'em. I want to hear this. Shoot.

It's good news, I guess.

I know who killed Monica Pinch.

Fantastic. I mean,

There's a young lady named Jayne White.

She was the Pinch girl's
kindergarten teacher.

Whatta kindergarten teacher
want to kill Monica Pinch for?

She and Alastair were having an affair.

You don't look surprised.

-They had a complicated marriage.
-Wow.

You knew him pretty well?

Knew him well. We did St. Barts last year.

I'm just so fucking relieved it's
not Alastair. You know?

You know, I knew you were my guy.

Fontella said, don't hire that bum.

He stinks in every way.

But I was like, no, that's my guy.

And do I know casting, or do I know casting?

Is this chick in custody? Are we good?

Jayne?

Yeah.

No.

No, she left town.

Ah, we'll find her.

She's a fucking kindergarten
teacher, not Whitey Bulger.

That's a win-win for Waldo and Sikorsky.

You get the killer. I get to keep my syndication.

I mean, it's a tragedy.

But, you know, as tragedies go.

But thank you, and you know, great job and..

Do you know Jayne White?

I know of her.

Did you know that Alastair got her pregnant?

Hey.

I'm just wondering if that was
something many people were aware of.

Many people? No, this is the inner circle stuff.

Right. But, you're in the inner circle.

I founded the inner circle.

You know, He knows what I'm
doing, if you know what I mean.

And I know he's doing. If
you know what I mean.

So what was Monica Pinch's reaction when
she found out Jayne White was pregnant?

She was devastated.

I bet. I mean, she probably pushed Alastair

even harder to quit the show
and move back to England.

I can't speak to that coz I don't
know her as well as I know him.

Right.

But you knew about the awards. The
Shakespeare awards you talked about.

They're called Regis, by the way.

What did you say? You said
they were all under the bed.

Under the bed, in the attic. It doesn't
matter. He just didn't want them around.

Ah. Got you.

Funny, they actually were under the bed.

So?

It's just Alastair said he wasn't sure
where they were. It's not a big deal.

Listen, this is great chatting with
you, but time is not my friend.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll let you go. Ok.

Monica Pinch.

Quickly.

Monica Pinch.

Now, she didn't find out that Jayne White
was pregnant until the night she died.

So she talked to you about it.

It must have been then, right?

Uhh, I'm going to have to back
you up a second there, Mr. Waldo.

You said that Jayne White was the murderer.

Oh, no. I said I knew who
the murderer was.

Oh! Huh. Ha.

Warren Gomes.

Does that name mean anything to you?

No.

Well, he's this lawyer. I had a little
bit of a weird thing with him.

He kept following me for a couple of
days, and I kinda lost my temper

and I confronted him one day.

We got into a little fight.

A couple of hours later, he got killed.

Yeah?

I'm just trying to
piece everything together.

And the question is, why I bring it up,

He had the same kind of watch as you.

Rich lawyer.

That's what I thought.

Only, I researched them.

They're all individually made, right?

No two are identical.

Here's the thing. The one he was
wearing, it looked a lot like yours.

Pure coincidence. This one hasn't left
my wrist, except when I shower and sleep.

But you asked Fontella what time it was.

What? When?

At the courthouse after
Alastairs's Arraignment.

I'm afraid you must be mistaken.

But, uh..Ah, fuck it.

Take a seat.

I want to hear everything your
thinking, soup to nuts, alright?

-Soup to nuts?
-Yes, please.

Double fuck the read through.

Let's do that.

Let's do it. You sure?

Yes, sir.

Buckle up.

Well, I'm thinking

you knew what Monica Pinch kept under her bed

coz you were spending time in the bedroom
while Alastair was spending time with Jayne.

Mr. Waldo, that is brilliant.

I'm thinking that on the night she found

out that he'd gotten Jayne pregnant,
with Alastair passed out cold,

I'm thinking that Monica called you

to tell you she was going to
tell Alastair about your affair,

to get him to quit the show and move back
to England like she'd been wanting.

But you couldn't afford to lose Alastair.

Not with the Jamshidi takeover threat.

I'm thinking, you drove over there.

You're going to talk some sense into
Monica, but she didn't want to hear it.

Next thing you guys are arguing.

it escalates, and you pick up the Regis Award

and you hit her with it.

You didn't mean to do it. It's an act of passion.

Thing is, she's hit her head on the way
down, and now she's not moving.

So you panic.

You start wiping down everything
you can remember touching.

But the Regis Award was on a wooden
table, and that had blood stains on it.

Now I'm thinking I'm, I'm just thinking, maybe

you were worried that some
of that was your blood.

You could have got cut in the fight.

So now what do you do?

You swap around some furniture,

You set the alarm on the way out, you
get rid of the Regis in some dumpster,

and you let poor old Alastair
wake up to take the rap.

How did I do?

And the lawyer guy?

He blackmailed you. Even made
you cough up that fancy watch

which you couldn't resist
taking back after you shot him.

That is quite brilliant.

In fact, I should give you a pilot deal.

There is one gaping hole in
your narrative, however.

Why would I sabotage the
biggest asset on this network?

Come on. That's the easy part.

You told me yourself the scandal
made the show twice as valuable.

You knew Alastair would get off. I mean
it's LA. The Star always gets off.

And in the meantime, the more
publicity, the bigger the windfall.

So what do you do?

You hire the lawyer who
will make the most noise.

And then the Detective who
would make the most noise.

Even though your lawyer kept telling
you I'd be a shitty choice.

And let's be honest. I am a shitty choice.

I've never been a PI. The
LAPD fucking hates me.

I'm so rusty I'd
probably be useless.

But I think you liked me for those reasons,

Because that made me the last Detective

who'd ever figure out that
you killed Monica Pinch

and Warren Gomes.

A lot of moving parts.

Lot of moving parts.

I do have one question.

What made you so sure

that you'd walk in here and
deliver that little pitch?

I'll be honest.

I only walked in 98% sure.

Ah.

And what was the other 2%?

I had to make sure you were a lefty.

I did make one mistake, though.

I really should have waited
until the cops got here.

You, you told them to come?

Well, if I timed it right,
they're already downstairs.

Of course,

I don't have a watch.

Yeah, you just keep smiling.

Watch your haircut.

Come on. Look lively fellas.

Pete couldn't make it himself?

You know he's not going to let
you have this collar, right?

I'm going to head to North Hollywood.
Tell Pete I'll meet him there.

See you in court.

Whaddya doing?

Get off my bike!

We're not cops, man. We're extras.

Shut the fuck up!

Fuck!

Assholes.

Fuck!

For Lady Justice...

Fuck!

..for 99 days, you do that, and Justice..

And Johnnie, he'd say, on the 100th day,

a great Judge knows that he needs to be Justice.

Ready for your close-up?

Wait! Wait!

How are you going to get away with it?

A light fell on set. Happens all the time.

Last look.

This here defendant, guilty.

What the fuck?

This place is falling apart.

Waldo?

Thank you.

-Well, that's that then.
-Yep.

Would it be ungrateful to
ask what you're doing here?

I've been following you since
the recruiting office.

Even had to sit through that
Rumplestiltskin bullshit.

-Really?
-Yeah.

How'd you get on the lot?

Snuck in on a studio tour.

Yeah.

They really need to check out their security.

I could be like a crazy stalker
or something, you know?

I, uh, hope you don't mind. I used your gun.

I was never here.

Yeah, I can work with that.

Grand.

You do know why I saved your ass, right?

Yeah. I got an idea.

Someone else kills you first,

I can't get what I want. It'll be a mess.

Nobody will know what to do with themselves.

You know, I gotta say, Q.

It's not too clever keeping your kind
of business records in a flash drive.

Is that what Cuppy thinks is on there?

Business records.

Guy's an idiot.

Why? What is on there?

Epic poem.

Long ass motherfucker, too.

It's the only copy I got.

Epic poem that you wrote?

-Yeah, that I wrote.
-Huh.

It's about the life of a dealer trying

to retain his independence and integrity

in an era of corporate style cartels.

Why an epic poem?

See, me, I'm an autodidact. Means I'm self educated.

I had to enrich my own life.

But, my little girl, Dulcy,

I'm gonna make sure my
daughter gets a real education.

That way, she ain't stuck being no cop.

No dealer.

I want to give the poem to her, so
she can see the man I really am.

Waldo, I need my Mem.

I need Lorena to come back, so..

I'll tell you what.

I want you to get my little girl
into that fancy ass private school.

Same one as that British dude's kid.

Get him to help Dulcy,
and bring me back my Mem,

and Lorena can come back.

Have you got the juice for that?

You know,

I just might.

Okay, Waldo.

You got another 24 hours.

By the way,

I love 'Johnnie's Bench'.

You know, my Granddaddy once said,

It's one thing to write like a poet,

and another thing altogether

to write like a historian.

A poet, can,

rehash, or sing about things.

not like they were.

But like they shoulda been.

And the historian?

Well, he's got to write about them.

not like they shoulda been.

Fucking Lorena.

But like they were.

Without adding or subtracting
anything from the truth.

And might I remind you, Counselor,

you are getting dangerously
close to ruffling my feathers.

Do you understand the words Contempt of court?

Come in.

Aha! The man of the hour.

Come here.

Deftly done, me old Cockalorum.

No tongues.

Sit. I want to lavish praise on you.

Is it too much of a cliché to say,

I don't know how to thank you?

Is it too much of a cliché to
say I might have an idea?

Shoot!

I'm thinking you were right
about that epic two week Pub crawl.

That's a brilliant idea.

Unfortunately, as of today,

this is my liquor of choice.

Sober as a judge.

Yes, very good.

I may drop dead any second, but
at least now I'm not inviting it.

I made a shambles of everything, Waldo.

Monica's gone.

Jayne's run off with a son or
daughter I may never know.

Upon the other hand, I
do have my sweet Gabby.

The least I owe her is the best I have.

Now that could take more courage
than drinking yourself to death.

Don't I know it.

Courage, mate.

Cheers.

Ready for you, Mr. Pinch.

Ah. Lift off.

And, uh, don't tell anyone about this.

If they think I'm still a drunk,

they'll still let me paste
the occasional pretty-boy.

I got your text.

Thanks for squaring things with Q.

And yet all you talked about was Pinch.

I wanted you to do that, too.

Hope it didn't cause you too much trouble.

Oh, not at all.

I made some new friends.

Well, if you're up for it, I got something
else we could work together.

You know, I don't think my face could
take much more of your action.

Stop being such a Princess.

You know, you loved every minute of it.

You look good.

Yeah, You look pretty good yourself.

For a dead woman.

How'd you pull that off?

A coroner down in San Berdoo owed me a favor.

So, they let me have a Jane Doe
they were going to cremate.

So I burned her in my ex husband's car.

Ex husband?

Almost Ex.

So you want me to tell you if it
bothers me that you got married?

I don't need you to tell me.

And you disappeared on me.
I don't owe you anything.

Hey, I didn't say you did.

Why don't you tell me what
happened to your beard?

Who was she?

You were dead.

Barely! My body wasn't even cold.

I was grieving.

Oh, you know what? Fuck it.

So that's it? You just breeze
in and breeze back out?

You ghosted me for three years.

Then I drive up your stupid
mountain and you're ice man.

You come out here, one week in
LA and you've got some little..

You know what? Forget it, Waldo.

I don't know what I was thinking.

Fucking Lorena.

Jesus fucking Christ. Fuck me.

Give you a ride somewhere?

In this?

What's it get, 4 miles to the gallon?

It's a C300 and I dropped 55K on it,
and I fucking love it.

So what's it going to take to
get you to shut up about it?

Let me drive.

Jesus, Waldo.

Subs the hard way. Listening, researching, guessing!
-Your friend, Quester