All language subtitles for Bring.It.On.Again.2004.1080p.BluRay.x265-RARBG

(ROCK BEAT PLAYING)

(SINGSONG) Like, wow,
like, crap, last year I was
a high school brat

But now I'm here
Hope I'm the one
you pick to cheer

Fantastic!
I'm sorry. What?

Oh, nothing. Don't let me
slow you down. It's just. . .
Well, you're a surprise.

How do you mean?
You have great spirit.

But just a tad
more volume,
if you would.

I apologize.
Continue.

Like, whoo, like, whee
I'm at the university

I'm psyched, I'm here
Hope I'm the one
you choose to cheer

I yell real loud and make
the Stingers super proud

MAN: Brilliant!

My dear,
you are wonderful.
Cheer genius personified.

A real individual.

I'm joking, you spaz!

Pardon me?
That was a cheer?

That was the most boring,
unoriginal, biggest piece
of crap I've ever seen!

You suck!
(GASPS)

(CACKLING)
(WHIMPERING)

(SCREAMING)

Mom, where are we?
Where are you, dear?

You finally made it.
You're in college.

(CHATTERING)

Oh, man!

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

C-Come on
The big game
is just about rockin'

Hi. Can you guys tell me
how to get to Bancroft Hall?

Hi. Can you tell me
how to get to. . .

Hi, girls.
Can you guys tell me
how to get to Bancroft. . .

Excuse me!

Hi. It's where some
of the cheerleaders
are staying.

Um, I'm trying out
for the team.

You girls don't cheer,
do you?

First of all,
it's women, not girls.

Oh.
Second, um, we do
neo-modern ballet.

We don't wave
pom-poms.

And third,
we can't direct you
to Bancroft Hall,

because Nathaniel Bancroft
was a slave owner
and an imperialist!

Okay. Thanks.

Appreciate it.

You're not giving
up already, are you?
Monica!

(BOTH GIGGLING)

First day of college,
I'm already saving
my roommate.

You did not
have to save me.
I have been saving

your butt ever since
cheerleader camp.

Have not!

Really?
I remember a time

a spotter was
out of position and
one of our cheerleaders

was gonna do
a face-plant.

Who was that
cheerleader again?
Okay. Okay. I get it.

(LAUGHING) I think
the score is Monica, two.
Whittier, zero.

And Bancroft Hall
is this way.

Did you know
that Nathaniel Bancroft
was a slave owner

and an imperialist?
Our room has
a ceiling fan.

DEAN SEBASTIAN:
As well as paint balloons,
panty trees,

super-gluing faculty doors,
releasing lab animals

and most important,
I'd like to remind you

that if you must
urinate,

please do it
in a toiIet.

Do not... I repeat,
do not urinate

on an original manuscript of
The Canterbury Tales

Located in
the school library.

You writing this down?
You'd think I wouldn't
have to say that.

The Nutcracker
is a patriarchal ballet.

Okay? The only good thing in
The Nutcracker
are the rats, and they die.

(GRUNTING)

Shakespeare. Hamlet?
(CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY)

"Euripidie."
Euri. . . Eur. . .

(WHISPERS
INDISTINCTLY)

Euripides.

Lastly, we hope
you take advantage of
the many extracurriculars

here at the university.

Although, I must report
we've had to cut funding

to some of the more
non-essential programs

on campus such as
the martial arts club,

the ballet society...
(GASPS) Wha. . .

...and the entire musical
theater department.

MAN: That's
a worthwhile program!

Fortunately, we haven't
had to cut any money from
our two prized programs,

the football team...
That's right!

(BOYS GRUNTING)

Yeah!
And your seven-time

defending collegiate champion
Stinger cheerleading squad!

Yeah!
Let's hear it
for our heroes!

STUDENTS: (CHANTING)
Tina! Tina! Tina! Tina!

Tina! Tina! Tina! Tina!

Hey, everybody!
I'm Tina Hammersmith!

(EXCITED SQUEAL)

Y'all ready to rock
the body electric?

Ah!
Let's get this
party started!

Five, six,
seven, eight!

(TECHNO POP PLAYING)

GIRL: Whoo!

GIRL: Yeah!
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
You go, girl!

CHEERLEADERS:
Two, three, four.

Stingers in the house!
We're on the attack!

That's right!
Got no extra fat!

We don't eat Big Macs!
It's gross!

Step to us!
You might get smacked!
TINA: Whacked!

We got more game
than the man
they call Shaq!

The moonwalk! The twist!
The shake and bake!
The what?

We can do it all
right here at State!

Strap yourself in
so your mind won't blow!

Sit back, relax
and enjoy the show!

What's wrong
with you people?
Stop it!

Yeah! Stingers!

This is terrible.
What do you mean
"terrible"?

They're perfect.
I know.
That's what's terrible.

They are perfect.

Speaking of perfect.
You ever checked out
your own ass?

Whoa!
Gross!

Just pay him no mind.
No. No. I think
we should pay him mind.

I mean, this. . .
this man has a lot to say.
I do.

I have a lot to say.

He's a unique individual.

Very unique individual.
With his own thoughts
and ideas.

My own thoughts.
My own ideas.

Who would never
make a fool of himself.
Never ever

make a fool of myself.
Even if he was blindly
mimicking whatever I said.

Even if I was blindly. . .
(LAUGHS)

Hey, punk.
Be watchin' you.

Smart guy.

Thank you.
No problem.

Belly ring?
No belly ring?

It's a cheerleading tryout.
They're going to be looking
at your moves,

not your body jewelry.
Oh, I know.

But here's my theory.
If they concentrate
on my belly,

they won't recognize
if I mess up on
my back handsprings.

Whit, you're not
gonna mess up. Come on.
I've seen your cheer skills.

They're for real.

Maybe for high school,
but this is college.

And in college
you have to be the poo.

Well, that shaggy boy
at orientation sure
thought you were the poo.

(GIGGLES)
He was all on you
like ugly on an Osborne.

Him?

You think?

He did smile at me.

Mmm-hmm.

But I can't lose
my concentration. I've really
got to focus on tomorrow.

I got to work
on my cheer moves.
Hit it, girl.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(GIGGLING)

Before we begin,
I want you to know that
just by trying out today,

you're already a winner.
(GIGGLING)

Unless, of course,
you get cut.
In which case,

technically you're a loser.
(CLEARS THROAT)

(CAMERA WHIRS)
So, go for it.

Okay, I'll start
with a simple aerial.

No, I was thinking more
of a front handspring,

back handspring,
front handspring,

back handspring,
back handspring,

front handspring,
back handspring.

(SINGSONG)
Okay! Give me an "S-S"
Give me a "T-R".

(GRUNTS)

(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

That was awesome.
So, do you got
any good cheers?

I got something for ya.
I got a little shout out.
You got a what?

I got to give
a shout out to all
my people, baby! Whoo!

I'm flossin'!
You can't see me.
I got the ice.

It's just blindin' ya!
Peace, and I'm out!

Back handspring,
front handspring, cartwheel,
back handspring, cartwheel.

(SINGSONG)
Give me an "S-S"
Give me a "T-R".

I just screwed up again!
Dang it!
I can't believe it! No!

Just kill me right now!
Bam! Haha! Please?

Front handspring,
cartwheel, back handspring,
back handspring, cartwheel. . .

Ooh.

Oh, yeah!
Oh, my God.

Thanks for coming.

(CAMERA WHIRS)

And lastly,
Smith, comma, Whittier.

Okay. So. . .
Wait.

What is it?
That thing.

That shiny
offensive thing,
midsection.

Oh, that's my belly ring.
Lose it immediately.

Okay. Sorry.
(SCOFFS)

(RING RATTLES)

(ROLLS ACROSS FLOOR)

(CLATTERING)

Okay. Are you ready?
How about, are you ready?

(SNICKERS)

I think so.

Here I go! Hit it!

(UP-TEMPO SCRATCH MIX PLAYING)

(PANTING)

How's that?
Thank you.

MARNI: Sheila.
TINA: Too fat.

Kenny.
TINA: Too dorky.

Brenda.
TOGETHER: Psycho!

Cindy.
Snaggletooth.

Carol-Ann.
Eczema.

It's called lotion.

Theo.
Too gay!

Patrick?
Not gay enough.

(CHUCKLES)
And finally, Whittier.

She's okay.
"Okay"? Marni, she's future
head cheerleader material.

Memo, pink ink,
we already have our future
head cheerleader. Hi.

(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
The only difference
being, she's cute.

Yeah, she's cute the way
a smushed-up bug is cute.

Oh, and excuse me.
Did you see her
blond hair?

So fake!
(SCOFFS)

Well, if that's not the pot
calling the kettle blond.

Oh! I was. . .
I was born
with dark roots.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, anyway,
I'd be all over her.

You know,
if she had a schwinger.
Maybe she does.

TINA: Enough!

You two bitches can catfight
all night, but I'm the one
that makes the decisions.

Until I do,
you're dismissed.

Leave me.

Ow! (COUGHS)

No time
for rest, cherub.
Dean Sebastian.

I didn't know
you were here.
I've been here six hours.

Saw every last
peppy pigtail that passed
through this place.

Pretty ugly, huh?
(CHUCKLES)
Some were ugly.

Some were hideous.

While others were sublime.

I'm talking about State's
next head cheerleader.

Smith, comma, Whittier.

Whittier can't be head
cheerleader next year.

She's just a freshman.
She's just good
is what she is.

But the head
cheerleader spot
is reserved for Marni.

Tina!
The State cheerleading
squad has won

seven consecutive
national titles,

which over that time has
tripled alumni donations

and allowed me the life
to which I am accustomed.

Just last year,
I upgraded

from an '88 Jetta
to a 2003 Passat.

I'm not about to throw
all that away

over some brown-nosing
mediocrity named Marni.

Whittier might
have what it takes,
but she's awfully raw.

That, dear, is why
you must mold her.

Shape her. Twist her
like Silly Putty.

If you make her
half as great
as you are,

the national title
will stay here
for years to come.

Remember
the school motto.
"Whatever it takes."

I can't hear you.
(STAMPS FLOOR)

"Whatever it takes!"

(EXHALES)

Welcome to the team.

(WHITTIER SQUEALING)

Welcome to the team.

(GIRLS SQUEALING)

Welcome to the. . .
Oh, uh, this is
a size four.

Is that gonna be
too small for you?
Kidding!

Kidding!
Get outta here.

Welcome to the team.

Wait!
This isn't a uniform.

These are towels.

You're very perceptive,
aren't you?

But aren't I on the team?

Of course,
you're on the team.
As a towel girl.

It's an honor.

How is it an honor?

(INCREDULOUS CHUCKLE)

Say there is no towel girl.
Say Greg hoists Tina
up into a cupie,

and there is no one
to towel off
his sweaty hands.

Tina slips. Tina falls
and, and lands
on her spinal cord,

and she spends the rest
of her life doing
watercolors with her teeth.

Do you want
that to happen?

I guess not.

Hmm.

I didn't think so.

(CHATTERING)

Man, these colors
are hype!

I am never
taking this off.

Even after you're dead
in the ground?
Totally.

(BOTH LAUGHING)
(LOCKER DOOR SLAMS)

Congratulations,
my little pumpkins.

You have now joined
the best of the best
of the best.

Here's Marni
with some light reading.

Now, study those
rule books and wear
those uniforms with pride.

People have given
their ankles,

ligaments, collarbones,

in service to those
very uniforms you have
on your taut little bodies.

'Cause from here
on out you must be
the "bomb diggity."

You must eat leaner,
train meaner, jump higher,

yell louder
and out-pep anyone
who stands in your way.

You must brush better,
floss better, lather,
rinse and repeat better.

In other words,
you must be better in
every aspect of your life.

Are you ready
for all that?

Whittier?

Uh. . . Uh. . . Uh. . .

(UP-TEMPO POP ROCK
MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm gonna
catch you guys later.
All right.

Is. . . (CLEARS THROAT)

Is everything
okay up there?

Again. Four, five,
six, seven, eight.

DEREK: Is everything
okay up there?

Hey, you're
the orientation guy!

Yeah, Orientation Guy
is my given name.

But, um, it's not
my real name.

My friends call me Derek.

Well, hi, Derek.
I'm Whittier.

Whittier? I like it.

It's nice.

Thank you.

You want to do
something illegal?
What?

Do you want to do
something illegal?

MAN: Shut up!

Uh. . . Okay.

DEREK: Really?

What kind of girl
are you?

(LAUGHS) Stop!

Whoa!

(GRUNTS)

WHITTIER: No way. No.

DEREK: You're a cheerleader.
You get thrown
three stories

in the air every day.

Tina would kill me
if I sprained an ankle.

Who's Tina?
Our head cheerleader.

She's got rules
against this kind of thing.
It's all in the manual.

And you've
gotta follow the rules.

Well, do you see Tina
anywhere around here?

No.

(GIGGLES)

(DEREK GROANING)

WHITTIER: Sorry.
Are you okay?

Are we allowed
to be in here?

2:00 a.m.'s
the only good
time to swim.

The rest of the time,
I'm working.

Where?

Well, I do work-study
in the cafeteria.

Part-time in an
audio store.
Full-time as a student.

And the rest of the time
as a mix-master.

What's a mix-master?

It's a turn-tablist.

What's a turn-tablist?

It's a D.J.

I knew that.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Oh, hey. I'm not
into you like that. I. . .

No, I didn't, I. . .

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Well, then I'm leaving.
I'm out.
Okay. Fine. Fine.

It's over.

(LAUGHS) Okay.
Well, okay.

Why do you work so much?

I work so much

because my dad
wouldn't pay my tuition
unless I declared premed.

And you didn't want
to be a doctor, so. . .

So, I work.

Well, you know what they say
about men who work too hard.

They become
tired, boring,

and in the process they lose
all their spontaneity.

Derek, are you tired?

No. You're boring!
(GIGGLING)

You are boring.

Boring, my ass!
(SQUEALS)

Whoo!
(LAUGHS)

God, you look great
under water.

Well, did I tell you
I'm a cheerleader?

(LAUGHS) Yeah.
I think we covered that.

Did we talk about
your 10,000 part-time jobs?

Yeah.
I think a while back.

Oh.

Well, was there
anything else
that we needed to cover?

Well, there was

one thing
I wanted to. . .

(WHIMPERS)

I gotta go.

Wait, wait, wait.

Don't you
want to stay and,

you know, swim
a little more?

I think my roommate
might be
getting worried about me.

Why would
she be worried?

Because,
you're turning me
into a criminal.

Whit. . . Whittier,
I could get hypothermia
without you here!

(YELLS)

And five, six,
seven, eight!

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight!

One!
Girls, put your hands
on your hips.

Suzy, how about
suckin' in the arm flab?
Thank you.

Claire, sweetie,
two eyebrows
are better than one.

Think I gave you the memo.
Oh, my God! Monica!

Time for some
damage control
on that ass!

For a minute there,
I thought I was looking
at a Hefty Bag

full of chili dogs! Ha!

Greg! How about
the happy cheer face
now, huh?

This is my happy
cheer face.

That's not
a happy smile!

That's a hate smile.

(WHISPERS) Is it
that obvious, bitch?

TINA: All right.
Pop-off on two.

One, two and down.
(GRUNTING)

(SNICKERING)

(ROCK BEAT PLAYING)

TINA: Five, six,
seven, eight!

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, again!

One, two, three, four.
You suck so much,
I can't stand you! Again!

Go! Faster, faster,
faster, faster, faster!

Come on, you Sasquatch!
Let's go!

Come on, Monica!
Show me a herkie!
Let's see it!

Let's see it!
What is that?

Push. Push!
(GRUNTING)

(STRAINING)
This weight is a car,

and it is pressed
on top of your mother!

Lift it off your mom!

(SCREAMING)
Lift it off her!
Lift it off her!

Too late.
She's dead.
(WHIMPERS)

TINA: What is this,
a bowl of Jell-O
I'm looking at?

Whit, that water is not
from the French Alps!

Down for ten.
And six and seven
and eight!

(CRIES OUT)

You guys are looking
so great today.
(CHUCKLES)

I'm just kidding.
You look like crap.

All right, Monica
and Whittier, get ready
for a pop-off on four.

Hey, you wanna do
a cradle off the back?

You want to?

Yeah.

Ready?
One, two, three, four.

(GIGGLING)

What the hell was that?

I asked for a simple pop-off!
Was that a simple pop-off?

I'm very curious
to know, Monica.

Was that or was that
not a pop-off?

Settle down, Tina. Come on.
We were giving the routine
a little flavor,

a little individuality.

A little flavor?
A little individuality?

(CHUCKLES) Missy,
you are no longer
an individual.

All right?
You are a very small,
little minute part

of a very
big-ass machine!

And that machine
has my name on it.
You got it?

We're sorry.

Not good enough, Whittier.

Meet me in my office. 0800.

Is that the address?

She's waiting for you.
Come on, this way.

Tina, I'm really
sorry about what
happened in practice.

Shut the door.

Did you know that, um,

George W. Bush was
a cheerleader in college?

Actually, I did.

Ronald Reagan was
also a cheerleader.
So was Dwight D. Eisenhower.

The three greatest presidents
of the last 200 years

all cheerleaders.

Was Ronald Reagan
really one of the top three?

Top 40.
My point is this.

From great cheerleaders
come even greater leaders.

You may be a great
cheerleader, Whittier,

but you are not
a great leader.

I know,
and I'm really
trying hard.

See these portraits
on the wall?

A 98-year tradition
of cheerleading excellence
at CSC.

Starting back
with the remarkable
Margaret Whiting in 1938.

What's she doing?

An arabesque.

You can't tell
under the hoop-skirt.

All the way up to
the fantastic Hammersmith
dynasty of today.

These are your sisters?

Yep.

They're all part
of a grand legacy
with no end in sight.

That last empty frame
right there is reserved

for the head cheerleader
who will take our place,

our next leader.

Marni.

It could be Marni.
(CHUCKLES)

Or it could be Greg.
Whoo.

Or as I've been
thinking lately,

it could be you.

Yeah, right.

I'm serious, Whittier.

But I completely
messed up in practice.

I thought you
called me in here to
kick me off the team.

Oh, I haven't totally
ruled that out yet.

I don't know.
I just expect more out
of you than the others.

Certainly more than
your friend, Monica.

Oh, Monica was just
messing around.

Wait till game day.
She'll be perfect.

Oh, really? She's gonna
be great on game day?
Monica is a sinking ship!

To be a great cheerleader
you have to make sacrifices.

And I suggest
you start with her.

Do you mean not
being friends with her?

'Cause we're roommates.

Listen, sweetie.

Being head cheerleader

is a privilege you should
very much want.

I mean, (CHUCKLES)

students have posters
of me on their walls.

They pay hundreds
of dollars,

$320 to be exact
just to get my number.

They raffle off the right
to carry my books to class.
(LAUGHS)

(CHUCKLING)
It's so silly.

Foreign exchange students
literally

beg to do my homework,
straight A's.

All this could be yours.
You could be the greatest
thing on this campus.

The next me.
(CHUCKLES)

Whoa.

But I don't know.

It's all a question
of how bad
you really want it.

I mean, for starters,

you're gonna have
to shine at the home opener
this weekend.

Literally millions
will be watching you.

But most importantly,
I will be watching you.

I'm tired now.

Handing out all those towels
has made my arms feel like
soggy Jell-O.

I'm too tired to point out
how dumb that sounds.

Hey, guys.
(GASPS)

Hey, Britney Spaz.

(GIGGLES)
Why are you so happy?

Didn't Tina just rip you
a new. . . I can't say what.

Actually and, ladies,
please keep this a secret,

Tina told me that
if I work really hard

and I play my cards right,

I could become
head cheerleader.

Congratulations, Whittier!

Yeah, that's great!

You're not bummed, are you?

No. I don't want
to be head cheerleader.

I'm just flossin' my moves
until I make it as a dancer
on J. Lo's next tour.

I've been meaning
to talk to you about that.

What?

Tina made a lot of sense
in practice the other day.

There is a big difference
between individual dance moves
and. . . Oh, my gosh!

What?

There's over 680 calories
in that. Not to mention
35 grams of saturated fat.

That must've been
a real special talk you had
with Tina back there.

Too bad your Jedi
mind tricks couldn't fend off
the dark side of the force.

Monica, if you want to be
the bomb diggity,

you have got to act
like the bomb diggity,

and Tina is
the bomb diggity!

Did she just say,
"bomb diggity" three times
in one sentence?

(CROWD CHEERING)

P.A. ANNOUNCER: Your halftime
score is Stingers, 17.
Willowcrest, nine.

MONICA: No, I'm serious.
We're the ones
with all the pressure.

"Pressure"?
No, girly, you don't know
what real pressure is!

You see, I got to
go out there first.
Just me.

Solo. And if these
50,000 people don't buy
into the whole illusion

of who I am
and what I represent,

you guys are toast!

Aren't you just a big bug?

Correction!
I am a hunting wasp

of the order hymenoptera,
with a deadly venomous
ovipositor!

Do you know what that is?
Well, I'll tell ya!

It's a deadly
stinger, bitch!

Bug!

Stay in the zone, Sammy.
You stay in the zone.

Chest out!
Ponytail, no.
Up-do, yes.

Sweetie, no double earrings.
You're a State cheerleader,
not a State hooker.

(BEATBOXING)

(SINGING)
Go, go, go, Stingers

(BEATBOXING)

Go-go, go-go-go
Uh-oh, the Stingers

Remember, Whit.
Head cheerleader.

What do you mean
"head cheerleader"?

I'm the next
head cheerleader.
I am!

Marni. Focus on
the performance.

I am not gonna focus
on the performance!
Focus!

No, I'm not gonna focus!
I won't!

I don't mean that.
Please don't hate me!
Tina, please don't hate me!

Hey, I don't
hate you, Marni.

Shut up!

(BEATBOXING)

Sammy

(BEATBOXING)

Here comes Sammy

P.A. ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,

we ask you
to turn your attention
to the multi-champion...

Show time.

Stinger cheerleaders
and their "Stingtacular"
halftime show!

Yeah! Come on!
Let's go!

Let's get it
on, Stingers!
Number one!

Number one! Yeah!

P.A. ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,
say hello to Sammy Stinger

and your
Stinger cheerleaders!

Let's go, Stingers!
Whoa!

MAN: Hit it!

(TECHNO POP PLAYING)

(SINGING)
Turn the beat back
Come on, turn the beat back

Turn the beat back

Come on
Turn the beat back

Come on, turn the beat back
Turn the beat back

Come on, turn the beat back
Come on, turn the beat back
Turn the beat back

Free, free
Free-free-free

Let's go, Stingers!

(CROWD CHEERING)

ALL: Stingers!
(CHEERING)

Let's go, Stingers!

Let's go, Stingers!

ALL: Oh! Ho-ho!

Go back! Go back!
Let's see it again!

Go, Stingers!

(LAUGHING)

GREG: One more time.
One more time.

Tina, she's here.

Hey, baby.

CROWD: Way to go, Whittier!

MAN: (SHOUTING)
Hey, Whittier!

Hi.

Whittier, right?

Jackson. Senior,
with the Boxster
out front?

I was wondering if. . .
We just saw the video,
and we were like,

"That is the shizzle,"
and we. . .

Okay, okay, okay.

You two, hands off.
This is my party,
my cheerleader.

So, great facial
on TV today.

Sticking your
tongue out on camera,
totally inspired.

You think?

O.M.G, it was T.D.F.,
F.Y.I.

Whittier, this is Todd.
Starting wide receiver,
6'1 ",

3.2 G.P.A.,
runs a 4.6 forty.

4.5 forty.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

How ya doin'?
Uh, good. (GASPS)

And it just doesn't happen.
He said he was
a good listener.

Hi, Marni.

Would you like
an appetizer?

But he wasn't
a good listener.

(MUMBLING)

Here.
How about a towel?

(MUMBLING)

(GRUNTS)

I'm sorry!

Sorry. Would you
like an appetizer?

This is why I go to
the trouble of hosting
all these parties.

So guys like you
can mingle with girls
like you.

So mingle.
Blaine!

Eh, really nice
touchdown catch today.

Homeboy didn't want to play
the rest of the game.

Got taken off on a stretcher.
The quarterback's
all staring at me.

I'm like, "Oh, boy, I'm gonna
hit you so hard, your mama's
gonna feel it!" Right?

We broke from
the huddle. . .

Hi, Whittier.
Would you like
an appetizer?

I'm okay. Thank you.

How about a towel?

Then they motioned
into a slot.

That's when I knew
the running back

was gonna do an up-and-under
pattern behind the linebacker.
And he's. . .

You know, that's
great, really.

Do you mind
if for the next minute

we talk about something
other than football?

Uh, I'm sorry.
It's my bad. I'm sorry.

Thanks.

So, Tina, um,

tells me you're
a "C" cup.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Oh, dude, check out
the brunette. Sweet!

Yeah, she's hot.

She was not gonna be
head cheerleader. And. . .

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Check out the blond
right over there.

Where? Where?
The dude right
over there.

What do you mean,
"dude"?

Hey, you know what?
The one with
the great legs!

I bet he could
leg-press a mule.

Oh, man!

What?

Oh, you. . .
You didn't know?

Listen.

I got nothin' against
your kind of people.

It's just football rules.
I gotta kick your ass now.

That sounds like a party.

You should know, though,
I bench-press 220.

Whatever, dude.
235.

Can we talk? Now?

Pardon us.
Thank you.

Yo! Dewey!

Okay, let's blow
this joint.

Mon, Mon, Mon.
Don't go yet.
Whit!

We cheered
on national television.
This is our coming-out party.

Blue!

Hey, excuse me.
Uh, I'm looking for a girl
named Whittier.

She's about yea tall.
She's blond, super-cute.

Well, look who it is,
smart guy.

Why don't you say
something smart,
smart guy?

Yeah, okay.
How about something foreign
and exotic like adiós.

Hey, don't.
Chill, big guy!

God!

Besides, there are some good
people here too, and they're
here to celebrate us!

Yeah, they want
to celebrate all over us.

(GASPS) Derek!

Hey, Monica.
Hi, hottie.

I didn't think
you were gonna make it.
Yeah.

How'd you get past
the goon squad?

Oh, you know.
Guile, cunning,
cowardice.

(CHUCKLES)

You, scruffy boy.

Out. This party
is exclusivo.

No, it's okay.
He's with me.
We're together.

Who's he?

This is Derek.
He's a D.J.

(LAUGHS)

There are, like,
10,000 hot varsity
football players inside,

and you're snuggling up
to a D.J.?

How edgy.

WHITTIER: What's wrong
with a D.J.?

Honey, oh.
There's a logical order
to the college universe,

and the sooner
you learn it,
the better.

See, way up here
at the top of the ladder
are football players.

Right.
They rule.
Just underneath them

are basketball players,
some. . . Smaller biceps
but still desirable.

Then, soccer hunks,
lacrosse studs,

fraternity presidents,
ooh, fraternity
keg-masters,

guys with cars with parking
passes, guys with cars
without parking passes

kind of a waste
of time. . .

MAN: Love your dress, Tina!
Black Student
Union activists. . .

Hey!
Bruce Lee fan clubbers,

lit-mag squares,
pep-band dorks, um,
film society toads,

campus ministers,
school mascots

and then, God,
all the way at the bottom

are campus D.J.'s.

One spot above
cafeteria workers.

Actually, I work
at the cafeteria too.

Oh, do you?

Tsk. That's hopeless.

Listen, Whit.
Remember our little
"discush" the other day?

You have to decide,
are you with us

or are you with him?

I'm sorry.

Derek, I. . .

Oh, I get it. Yeah.

Oops.
But I'll call you!

I can't believe
you just did that!

Oh, she did the
right thing. She stuck
with the winners.

Excuse me? You think
you're a winner because
you got a bunch of idiots

up your bomb diggity butt?

Excuse me?

Whittier!

Are you coming?
Yeah.

TINA: What are
you looking at?

WOMAN:
What's her problem?
MAN: Drama queen.

So Doc says if I sprain
my hip-flexor one more time,
I can kiss my herkie good-bye.

Hey, you guys.
Hey.

Greg, can you help me
stretch my hamstrings?

Yeah.

(SNAPPING FINGERS)

Look, about the party. . .
On your feet.

Practice has started.

Today we're gonna work
on manners and respect.

Because some of you
don't know how to behave
at a team function.

Some of you
don't show proper manners
to a head cheerleader.

Some of you
don't show respect to
the concept of team unity.

Come on.

Oh, good! Monica.

We'll start with you.

What do you got?

Front handspring round-off,
back handspring toe touch.

(SYNTHESIZED POP PLAYING)

Stop the music!
(MUSIC STOPS)

Is that all you got?

And again!
(MUSIC RESUMES)

Round-off back handspring,
back tuck.

Music stop!
(STOPS MUSIC)

And again!

Herkie!

Herkie! Herkie! Herkie!

Herkie! Herkie!
Herkie! Herkie! Herkie!
Herkie! Herkie!

(MONICA GROANS)
Herkie! Herkie! Herkie!
No one touch her!

(MUSIC STOPS)

I'm not done yet,
Monica! To be
a real cheerleader. . .

GREG: Tina, why don't
you give it a rest?

Not now, Greg!

I said give it a rest!

(EXHALES)
Okay. All right.

(SIGHS) You're right.
I should. . . I should. . .
I should give it a rest.

Whittier,
call out the steps.

What, me?

You heard me.
That's what leaders do.

But Monica. . .
Call out the steps.

Call them out!

No!

Listen, freshman.

I put you in that uniform,
and I can take you
right out of it!

Call the steps,
or you're off the team.

Then I'm off the team.

Wh. . . What?

(NERVOUS GIGGLE)
You heard me. I quit!

I quit too.

That's right.
I quit too.

Greg, you'll lose your
cheerleading scholarship.

That's right!
I'm stayin' here,

but under a cloud
of shame.

Tina.

You can have this back,
because it's supposed
to show team spirit.

It's supposed
to make us feel proud,

but I just feel
guilty and stupid!

So you can have
your skirt and your spankies
and your top.

I'm out of here!

I need this to get home.
I'll bring it back
when it's dry-cleaned.

(MOUTHS)
Call me.

Bye, Miss Bomb Diggity.

(HUFFS) She'll be back.

She's not coming back!

(SIGHS)

It's only Whittier.

Ice cream
Super Fudge Chunk.

No!
Ice cream!

All right!
Stupid.

(SPECTATORS YELLING)

(CHEERING)

Hey.
Hey.

WOMAN: Run! Run!
All right, take home!
Take home! Go, go.

(GROANS)

Our team sucks!

Whittier, quit worrying
about the game

and enjoy the sunshine.

The sun sucks.

Whittier,
don't you know
that the sun

is nature's Prozac?

Do you really think
the sun is gonna make me
feel better

about giving up
the most important thing
in my life?

No, but I'm out
of real Prozac, so you're
gonna have to deal.

I ruined my career
as a cheerleader.

I ruined
my relationship with Derek.
I could've had a boyfriend.

I ruined my entire life!

Yeah, I feel better.

Anyone want to
hit the library?

Ooh, I'll go with.
Thank you.

This place is starting
to weird me out anyway.

Women's softball.
I just don't get it.

(CHUCKLES) Whittier.

It'll be okay.

I know. Thank you.

You'll be fine, girl!

Trust me.

WOMAN: Come on.
Let's go, Stingers.

(YELLING)

(CHEERING)

(GRUNTS)

WOMAN 1 : Nice job.
Nice way to take the base.

WOMAN 2: Batter up!

(RHYTHMIC HISSING)

(BELL TOLLING IN DISTANCE)

Come on, y'all.
Let's hear it.

We got Stinger spirit.

Come on, y'all.
Let's hear it.

We got Stinger spirit.

Come on, y'all.
Let's hear it!

We got Stinger spirit.

Come on, y'all.
Let's hear it.

We got Stinger spirit.

Come on, y'all.
Let's hear it.

We got Stinger spirit.

(SUBDUED CHEERING)

Come on, y'all.
Let's hear it.
We got Stinger spirit.

Come on, y'all.
Let's hear it!

We got Stinger spirit!

Come on, y'all.
Let's hear it!

What's going on?
We got Stinger spirit!

Come on, y'all.
Let's hear it.

We got Stinger spirit.
Come on, y'all.
Let's hear it!

ALL: (CHANTING)
We got Stinger spirit!

Come on, y'all.
Let's hear it.

We got Stinger spirit!
Come on, y'all.
Let's hear it.

We got Stinger spirit.
Come on, y'all.
Let's hear it.

We got Stinger spirit!

(CHEERING)

WOMAN: Yeah.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)
Yes!

Number one!
Number one!

(ALL CHEERING)

Let's go, Stingers!
Let's go!

Those are my girls!
Go, Stingers!

MAN: Whoa! Whoa!

Monica! Monica!

I got it!

You got. . .

You got what?

We're gonna start
our own squad.

Oh, shut up.
No, no. I'm serious.

Our own squad.
New and improved.

Shut up!
No. For real!
Come on! Let's go!

Are you sure you put
the audition time
on the flyer?

Yes.

Okay, because it was
an hour and a half ago.

I put the time
on there.

Okay. Well,
what color paper
did you use?

I already told you.
Lemon yellow.

You should have used
wild berry pink.

Wild berry pink
always gets people
to show up.

Why are you all
up in my grille?

Do you see me asking
what color markers you used
for the big signs?

Black and gold.

With glitter?

No.

Whit, what is
a sign without glitter?

That is why
nobody showed up!

(DISTANT CHATTERING)
Shh. Shh.

(WHISPERS)
Do you hear that?

Someone's coming.

You ladies ready
for my dope?

I don't know
what that was.

Our new-and-improved squad
lasted exactly 97 minutes.

Don't give up yet.
I mean, maybe we'll
find some talent.

Where? All the cheerleaders
on campus are already
cheerleaders.

Then I don't know.

It's not like
we're gonna run into
a group of people

just spontaneously
shouting out cheers.

(PEOPLE SHOUTING CHEERS)

(CHEERING CONTINUES)

CROWD: Yes!
FRANCIS: What do we want?

CROWD: Justice!

FRANCIS: When do we want it?

ALL: Now!

FRANCIS: And how
will we get it?

ALL: By standing outside
the Dean's office. . .

(VOICES OVERLAPPING)

Sorry, what?
I have no idea
what you just said.

Who in the hell
are these people?

It's the
extracurricular groups,

the ones that lost their
practice space when the Dean
took away their funding.

CROWD: Justice!

Man, they got jacked.

And how will we get it?

By standing outside
the Dean's office. . .

(VOICES OVERLAPPING)

You guys suck.

First of all, I want to
thank you guys all for
coming here today to this. . .

What's the word
I'm looking for? Hi.

Shit-hole?

Thanks.

It's the only place
that we could find to meet.
So, anyway. . .

(INSECT BUZZING)

Today we're starting
a new cheerleading club
on campus.

Why cheerleading,
you say?

Because cheerleading
is fun.

And it fosters
school spirit.

And it also keeps you

physically fit.

So, what do you guys say?
Are you ready to cheer?

Yeah!

Yes?

Most of my pieces
involve anguish
as a theme.

Do you have any cheers
about anguish?

Yeah.
Yeah.

Well, we have one
that goes like this.
Ready?

BOTH: Okay!

(SINGSONG)
That's all right!
That's okay!

So that one kind of
addresses the issue
of anguish, kind of.

But other than that,
not really.

(CLEARS THROAT)
What about soliloquies?

Well, we don't
really have. . .

And what about accents?

Because I am the master
of accents.

No. See, what we do
is cheerleading.

Then I'm out.
Me too.

No, no, no.
Hold on because. . .

If you could just
hold on for one second. . .

Wait, you guys.

Something
Whittier forgot.
Hey. Wait.

Something Whittier
forgot to tell
you all,

is if we're good,
we can go to nationals.

Now, if we go to nationals,
we could win.

If we win,
we get a check
for $20,000.

Now, Penelope,
you could use
that money

to rent rehearsal space.

And, Francis,
you could mount up
a production of Godspell

where everyone has
a French accent.

Interesting.

Plus, we're gonna be
a real squad too.

On our squad,
you're gonna be able to do
whatever you want,

you're gonna be able
to do your own thing.

And if we're good,

we can stamp out
the varsity cheerleading
squad once and for all.

Where do we sign up?
Right over there.

MAN: Oh, yeah.

Girl, I've been saving
you since
cheerleader camp.

You did not
have to save me.

I think the score is now
Whittier, zero.
Monica, three.

Thanks.

WOMAN: (GIGGLING)
Come on, silly.

This is so "ridic."

Do they actually think
they're a real cheer
squad now?

They're real cheerleaders
in the same way that
Joan Rivers has a real face.

We have to crush them.

We have to take
their heads and grind
them into the mud

and then stomp
on their backs

and then drive over
them with a Jeep
Cherokee S. U.V.

Marni, geez.
Take a pill of the
chill variety, okay?

(SCOFFS)
We don't need
to do anything.

We cannot have
a competing spirit squad
on campus, Tina.

Trust me,
they won't be
a threat to us.

They're nothing
but a support group
for rejects and losers.

Besides. . . (CHUCKLES)

How 'bout that
practice space?

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

(GAGGING)

WHITTIER: And right,
left, clap.

Right, clap.
Left, clap.

Come on, you guys.

Step left.
Step right.

A little bit
tighter, Penelope.

Little bit tighter.
Stand back, woman.

I need at least a three
to five-foot radius
Oh, my. . .

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

When I rock like this
Rock like this
Rock like this

When I rock like this
When I rock like this
It's rhythm

Roll. Roll.

Rock like this
Rock like this

When I rock like this
When I rock like this
It's rhythm

Follow me.

Good. Now try three claps
into a high "V."

(ALL GASPING)

Okay, guys. And five,
six, seven, eight.
(WHIMPERING)

Grab one, two Down
Three, four Up
Five, six. Good.

WHITTIER: Okay,
stand up now. Good.
Stand up. Yeah.

Can you guys
just turn around?
Yeah. Face us.

WHITTIER:
Hold your stomach.
Squeeze your butt.

Don't look down.
No, no, no.
Good. Good. Great.

(GROANING)
Catch me!
(THUDDING)

Okay. This
is a basic pyramid.

Matthew, you'll take
the wing position here.
Yeah.

Got it.

Penelope, you're gonna
swing around here

and start your
stunt there, okay?

I can't be an "O."

You can't be an "O"?

O's represent emptiness.

And by making me an "O,"
you're calling me empty.

That's insane. Okay?

Uh, O's don't
represent emptiness.

They represent hugs.
And X's are kisses.

Everyone knows that.

(SCOFFS)

WHITTIER: Up. Up.
Lock your legs.

Good.
Yes! Tighter.

When I rock like this

Double base
extension. Ready?
Five, six, seven, eight.

BOTH: One, two
and three, four. Up.

WHITTIER: Good job.
Bring in the legs.
MONICA: Okay. You got it.

MONICA: No, no, no.
Don't look down.

Don't look down.
No, no, no, no.

Hey. You know,
I think I. . . (GROANS)

Rock like this
Rock like this
Rock like this

When I rock like this
Rock like this
When I rock like this

Rock like this
When I rock like this
Rock like this

Rock like this
Rock like this
Rock, rock, rock, rock

R-R-R-R-R-R-Rock

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(KNOCKING)

What's up, girl?

So what's going on?

What?

I said,
"What's going. . ."

Sorry.

(SINGING)
Sometimes

What?

I wake up early
to say good-bye

What's going on?

Oh, not much.
How 'bout you?

Well, we have this new
cheerleading squad.

Yeah. So I heard.
And we're improving.

We're just
missing something.

We don't have any rhythm.
You know, no back-beat to
help us bring it all together.

But if we had
a great D.J.

Look, I got three jobs,
this radio gig,
two advanced lit classes. . .

I know. It would mean
a lot to Whittier.

Look, she feels really bad
about what happened.

She's looking for a way
to reconnect with you.

Hold on. I gotta intro
this next tune.

That, my friends,
was the bitchin' sound
of The Promise Ring.

This next track is dedicated
to all the guys out there

whose hearts have been
ripped out of their chests

and devoured for breakfast
by cute, peppy,
social-climbing blond girls.

Give me a "Hey."
Give me a "Ho." Give me a
"I don't know you anymore."

I know it sucks.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

What was your question?

Forget it.

Dear Lord, help us kick
almighty ass today in our
debut as a spirit squad.

Help us to perform
the double back handspring

into a back tuck
as majestically

as your only son
Jesus would.

This is a big
sporting event for us.

Guide us in leading
this team to victory.
Bring it in.

One, two, three!

ALL: Renegades!

Come on. Croquet.

(CHEERING)
(CLAPPING)

FRANCIS: Croquet! Yes!

WHITTIER: Come on! Croquet!
Let's go!

Let's go, croquet!
That's right!

MAN: Yeah.
Come on, cricket!

Ready? Okay!
Okay!

ALL: That's all right.
It's croquet.
We're gonna. . .

(VOICES OVERLAPPING)

Come on! Come on!
Yeah! Let's go! Yeah!

Croquet!
Number one!

WHITTIER:
Let's go, croquet!
Let's go!

That's right, croquet!
Let's go!

MAN: Whoo! Yeah!
Let's do it. All right.

WHITTIER:
Let's go, croquet!

Let's go!

(ALL CHEERING)

MAN: Hit that ball!
Hit that ball!

ALL:
Take that ball and hit it.
What I say? Now whack it.

Yeah, now that's the ticket.
Yeah, that's the ticket.

(VOICES OVERLAPPING)

Croquet! Come on!

ls, uh, all this noise
bothering you, pal?

The noise I can take.

It's the suckiness
that bothers me.

(SIGHS)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(VEHICLE APPROACHING)

(SINGING)
Hit it

Hit, hit

Let's hit it!

WHITTIER AND MONICA:
Five, six,
seven, eight.

Tell me what we need

Stinger pride
Stinger pride

Tell me what we breathe

Stinger pride
Stinger pride

Tell me what we bleed

Stinger pride
Stinger pride

Tell me what we need

Stinger pride
Stinger pride

Tell me what we breathe

Stinger pride
Stinger pride

Tell me what you see

Stinger pride
Stinger pride

Tell me what we need

Stinger pride
Stinger pride

Hell, yeah!

Stinger pride
Stinger pride

(CHEERING)

(ALL CHEERING)

Cola beverage diet.

Wipe the spittle.

They look foolish.
I mean, really.
What do they have?

They have enthusiasm.

So do we!

And they have
the love of the crowd.
Do we?

Don't even think
that thought.

I'm just saying.

And I'm just saying
a person goes
against his team,

and he could lose his
cheerleading scholarship.

Let's go.
We've got work to do.

TINA: Now, Greg!

(BELL TOLLING)

That herkie into a cupie
just before we spread
the rubber with it. . .

That was almost as moving
as the helicopter landing
in Miss Saigon.

Yeah. l, I know.
For a moment there,
at the end. . .

Yeah!

. . .when we won,
I experienced an emotion

that I can only describe
as moderate happiness.

How did you know
where we were gonna be?

You told him?

Whittier, zero.
Monica, four.

Thanks.

Your, uh, (CLEARS THROAT)
squad is gonna have a real
tough time winning nationals

when, technically speaking,
you don't exist.

(SCOFFS)
Look around.
I'd say we exist.

Who are you?

Shh.
It's called a razor,
scruffy boy.

You don't exist according
to a little thing called
Section Eight

of the National Collegiate
Cheer Association Bylaws.

Yeah. It states that, um,
each university

shall be represented
by one and only one.

O-N-E cheer squad.

You can't do this to us.

So make like
a Tom and Cruise.

This is modern-day
imperialism.

Boo freaking hoo.

Uh, you missed
something, sweetie.

It does say that only
one team from State can go
to nationals.

Sí.

But it doesn't say
which team.

That team could be us.

(SCOFFS)

Even if all that is true,
it doesn't matter.

Mmm-hmm.

Varsity has been going
to nationals forever.

That is not
gonna change.

It just might.

Looks like
we're at an impasse.

So how 'bout you and l
just figure this out
right now.

Where did you get that?
That does not belong
to you.

Ladies, we are not going
to settle things this way.

There's only one honest,
impartial person

on this campus who can
judge who's right.
(MIMICKING IN FAST VOICE)

And while I admire your spunk,
Miss Smith, this is a school
built on tradition.

But. . .

And in this case
tradition favors
Miss Hammersmith.

I must say, Whittier,

there's a lot of good,
honest wisdom behind
what the dean has to say.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

Sure.

But what about the rules?
Nowhere in the bylaws
does it say

that it has to be
the varsity team
that goes to nationals.

Why can't it be us?

Well, sure.
Legally, technically,

if you squint
your eyes just right
the rules say it could be you.

But we're talking about
seven consecutive years

of cheerleading
excellence here.

I'm not gonna
put an end to that.

Miss Hammersmith
will go to nationals.

With all due respect,
Dean Sebastian,

I don't think that's
a decision that will go over
well with the student body.

How do you mean?

I mean, if you suppress
our voices on campus,

you will be hearing from us
in letters to the board
of trustees

not to mention
the around-the-clock
protestors

that will be outside
your door.

Okay, okay, okay.
We get it.
What the hell do you want?

A competition in front of
the whole student body.

Let them
decide who's better,
your team or mine.

Girl on girl.
Hmm.

Winner goes to nationals.

(CLEARS THROAT)
Listen, Whit.

We're good friends, right?

And as a good friend,
I should caution you that
such a competition

could embarrass
you severely.

It could destroy your
already-fragile psyche.

Well, that's a risk
I'm willing to take, Tina.

(GROANS) She can't
do this, can she?

Actually, Miss Hammersmith,
I think it's a splendid idea.

We'll have a competition.

What?

Thank you.
Thank you.

We'll have a competition
in the field house

this coming Saturday.
WHITTIER: What?

Wait. That's the day
after tomorrow.
(GIGGLING)

Now, if you'll
excuse me, ladies,
I have a lunch date.

We can't be
ready by then.

We'll be ready,
Dean Sebastian.
Yes, you will.

No. This can't
be happening.

Oh, yes, it can.

You're the one who asked
for the competition.
Good day.

Ready to back out yet?

Are you kidding me?
After the way
you treated us?

You know I used to
look up to you?

But that was before
I found out who you are.

An insecure "tanorexic."

Listen to me,
you hobbit.

After this idiotic
competition is over,

you'll be praying
you were me.

You'll be finished
as a cheerleader
and finished here.

I will knock you
so far down you'll be
in the cafeteria

with your edgy, freak of
a boyfriend, putting grapes
in the Jell-O molds.

Oh, yeah?
Mmm-hmm.

Don't be all up
in my Kool-Aid.

What does that mean?

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

The Stingers' hoops team
won their first
exhibition contest 72-54.

And the women's
softball squad
dropped both games

of a doubleheader
against State A&M.

And now it's time
for the CSC News
Eye On Sports.

On location is beat reporter
Colleen Lipman.

Thanks, Colleen.
The campus is in
a frenzy this week,

thanks to the big cheerleading
showdown in the field house
this Saturday.

Go, go, go, go.
Come on, you sissy!

COLLEEN: The varsity
cheer team has been vigorously
training for the event.

I'm totally not tired.
Why are y'all so tired?

COLLEEN:
And State cheerleading legend,

Tina Hammersmith, is confident
about her team's chances.

This is nothing new to us.
We've defeated
some of the best

intercollegiate competition
ever assembled.

This amateur squad
is just a speed bump

on the way to nationals.

Excusez-moi. One sec.

Let's go!
I didn't say stop.

COLLEEN: How important
is victory on Saturday?

Oh. It's very important.
It's very important.

It. . . It's very important.
This is very, very. . .

I, I cannot tell you
how important this is.

It's a. . . It's pretty. . .
Pretty important.

Meanwhile, some people
around campus

are starting to dub
the upstart competition
as the Renegades.

Head cheerleader,
Whittier Smith,

insists her squad
is ready to go.

We are definitely
going to win.

We've got a great team,
we've worked extremely hard
and it's gonna be tough,

but, you know, Rocky beat
Apollo Creed, right?

MAN: Uh, Whit, he lost.
He what?

He lost.
He lost to Apollo Creed?

COLLEEN: To train for
the event, the Renegades have
taken an unusual approach,

cheering for typically
under-appreciated teams
such as the diving team,

the bowling club
and the fencing squad.

ALL: (SINGSONG)
Stab him, stab him.
Poke him in the eye.

Run the sword through
till his blood runs dry.

En garde!

Well, some people
look at an impossible
situation and ask why.

Others look at the same
situation and ask, why not?

For the competition
on Saturday,

I'm asking myself why.

Why bother?

In a billion years,
we'll all be obliterated
by a black hole anyway.

There you have it, Colleen.
Back to you.

Thanks, Colleen.

Seven, eight.
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

(ALL CHEERING)
Yeah!

Shh, shh, shh.

You guys, we can't let
anybody know we're in here.
Really, really good job.

Don't leave
any of your stuff.

All right.

Think we're ready?

Well, no one fell tonight.
I'm pretty happy about that.

Um, Whittier,
can I talk to you alone?

Yeah. Francis,
what's up?

Uh, I'm gonna
level with you.

I'm getting very nervous
about tomorrow. Okay?

And I'm thinking about
violating myself tonight.

It's an actor
relaxation technique.

What I need to know
from you is, what does
Whittier think?

Is that a bad idea, or. . .

Well, it really depends.

Uh, would you say violating
yourself usually hurts you
or helps you?

Oh, I'd say it's made me
the actor that I am today.

Okay. Then I would
say hold off.

Will do, chief.
Okay.

Well, well, well.
If it isn't the blond
leading the bland.

Last minute cram session,
kiddie kiddos?

Why don't you guys
worry about your own team?

That's what
a real leader would do.

Oh. Is that what
a real leader would do?

A real leader wouldn't be
practicing at midnight, Whit.

You can drill a loser
all night long,

and in the morning,
you still got a loser.

Put makeup on a pig.
It's still a pig.

Oink, oink, oink, oink.
(GIGGLES)

You wanna hear
our cheer for tomorrow?

"We're ready, we're fit,
we'll smack you like
a little bitch."

Oh-ho. "We're tough,
we're lean, step to us
and we'll get mean."

"Hey, ho, you know.
We'll put you on the flo'.

"Dust off your spankies.
Stand up and get some mo'."

"Don't cry, don't pout,
don't have yourself a cow.

"You're gonna get whupped.
Your mommy can't help
you now."

Come on. You can do
better than that.

Yeah. I can
do better, bitch.
TINA: Let's go.

Come on.

Marni, chill. Marni.

No.

Get back here!
We are not finished
with this.

Hey, hey! Ow. Okay.

Watch the face.
Okay, girls,

slap and tickle time
is over.

MARNI: Oh. Ow!

GIRL: Oh! Right.
There you go.

Ow.
(GROANS)

Ow. Ow.

Little, uh,
concealer will help
that situation there.

Tina!

(BEEP ON P.A.)

WOMAN ON P.A:
Paging Dr. Stateman.
(GROANS)

Dr. Stateman, please.

I'm fine, you guys.

Yeah? Can you hold me
up in the air with three
crushed metacarpals?

Of course. Ow! Shit!

We should just call
Tina and forfeit.

Yeah, you know what.
I don't think we have
a choice.

I guess tomorrow I'll go back
to doing Phantom of the Opera
in my dorm room. Hmm.

Wait. Hold up, guys.
Listen.

Tomorrow we are gonna go
into that field house

and we're gonna get
in front of those students.

And as sure as I'm
standing here right now,
I can assure you that,

that we might suck.

We might totally suck,
in fact,
but to a real cheerleader,

it doesn't matter
if you win or lose.
(DOOR OPENS)

It only matters if you
try as hard as you can,

if you give it
every ounce of
spirit you've got.

So, what do you say?

Who wants to suck tomorrow?

You know what?
If there's one thing
I'm good at in this world,

it's sucking.

I'm in!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey.

Why suck if you
could not suck?

Because we're
missing Francis.
It's gonna be hard.

Well, could you guys
use a sub?

You're gonna lose
your scholarship.

Yeah, well, whatever
I lose in financial aid,
I'll gain in testicles!

So I'm in!

(ALL CHATTERING)

MAN: Okay. All right.

Come on. Let's go.
25, 26, 27,
28, 29, 30.

More.

More! Oh! Oh!
Give me that!
(GROANS)

(SINGING)
Co... Come on

How are you feelin'?

I feel like I wanna smile.

Good!
Hey!

Ow.
Ooh. You ready
to kick a little?

Bring it!

(BEATBOXING)

(SINGING)
I'm feelin' a little nervous
A little, little nervous

(BEATBOXING)

I really have to pee
Really, really have to pee

Check. Check.

Check!
(FEEDBACK)

Varsity!

Okay. Here we go.

Here, muskrat! Set!

Don't screw up.
Pecs out.

Where's your water bra?
I gave it to you!

Did you bleach your teeth?
Did you shave? God.

Everybody,
find your happy place.

Mmm.

California State College,
are you ready for a showdown?

(CHEERING)

MAN: Colleen, we love you!

First up, is your very own
varsity cheerleading squad.

No! (GROANS)

Let's go!
Go, go, go!
Let's go!

WOMAN: Let's go!
Let's go, Stingers!
Go, Stingers!

(ALL CHEERING)

Go, Stingers!

Let's go!

(ALL CHANTING)
Varsity! Varsity! Varsity!

Varsity! Varsity! Varsity!

Let's go, Stingers.
Let's go!

(WOLF WHISTLE)

(ALL CHANTING)
Tina! Tina! Tina! Tina!

Tina! Tina! Tina!
Tina! Tina! Tina!

(CHEERING SUBSIDES)

Come on, you guys.

MAN 1 : Come on, guys.
Let's go!

MAN 2: Come on, guys.

MAN 3: Let's get
this show started!

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

(ALL CHEERING)
Go, Sammy! Go, Sammy!
Go, Sammy! Go, Sammy!

Go, Sammy!
Go, Sammy! Go, Sammy!

Go, Sammy! Go, Sammy!

(CROWD CHEERING)

(MUSIC PLAYING)
Let's go

(CROWD CHEERING)

(SINGING)
Oh, yeah
Here we go

Here we go
Here we go

(MOUTHING)

Uh, uh
Go, go, go, go, go

R-R-R-Raise your hands
all up in the air

Raise your hands
all up in the air

Raise your hands
your hands, your hands...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Ooh, yeah we know it

We are the best
(LIP-SYNCING)

We, we
We, we
Are, are

The, the, the...

Here we go
Here we go
Here we go

(CHEERING)

Yeah!

(CROWD CHEERING)
Tina! Tina! Tina! Tina!

Tina! Tina! Tina!
Tina! Tina! Tina!

Let's go!
Number one!

Let's do this.

(ALL CHATTERING)

Next we have a new group.

Please welcome the...

Quote, Renegades, unquote.

(CHUCKLING)

(GREGORIAN CHANT PLAYING)

WOMAN: Nice outfits!

MAN: You guys suck!

MAN: Monks can't cheer!

(CHANT MUSIC ENDS)

Welcome, ladies and gents
of all ages.

Feast your eyes
on a "cheergasm"
like no man

has seen before.

Hit it!

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Yeah!

Ooh!

Get crazy

Crazy

(CROWD CHEERING)

MAN: Yeah! Whoo!

Get crazy
The heat is on

Get crazy
Crazy, crazy, crazy

Stingers!

Yeah! Yeah! Whoo!

Ow.

It's cool. Okay.

Yeah! Come on!

Yeah!

(MICROPHONE FEEDBACK)
(LAUGHTER)

DEAN SEBASTIAN: Damn kids.

MAN: Come on.
WOMAN: Let's just do it.

Hi, everyone.
I'm Dean Sebastian.

I want to thank
both teams for putting on
a really wonderful display.

It reminds me
of my student days.

(ALL GROANING)

Of course,
back in those days,

the cheers weren't
quite as complicated.

Just tell us the winner,
will you, please?

Okay.
Thank you.

The winner, representing
Cal State College

at the National cheerleading
Championships...

MAN 1 : Come on!

MAN 2: Come on!

(CROWD MUTTERING)

WOMAN: Let's go! Come on!

The Renegades!
Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah!

(SQUEALING)

(SOBBING)

You are so pathetic!

You're pathetic!
I know you wax your butt!

Do you actually think
your roots are natural?

You are not
born with roots!

(GASPS)

(SQUEAKY VOICE)
I was too!

You did it!
I know!

(SHRIEKS)
What'd you think?

You're right.
You sucked.

(FRUSTRATED GROAN)

Janice.
Towel. Immediately!

Marni. I quit.
Immediately.

(GASPS)

Excuse me.

Oh.
Hi.

Uh, I just wanted
to say nice job.

(CLEARS THROAT)
Your routine was good.

Inconsistent
and a tad pedestrian
at times, but good.

Wow. Thanks.
I'm not exactly. . .

On behalf of
the administration
and alumni,

I wanna offer you
and your team,

the full backing
of the college.

You're our new varsity
cheerleading squad.

It'll be a thrill
to work with the new
bomb diggity.

Now if you'll
excuse me, ladies,
I have a lunch date.

(EXHALES)

So, we might need
a sub for nationals.

Really? Wait. Wait.

You and me
on the same team?

Of course, you'd have
to audition first.

I don't audition.

Hmm.

Suit yourself.

But maybe I can come
help you out, you know.

I'll have to
check my "sched."
I could bring Marni.

(SQUEALS)
Or not. I never even
really liked her anyways.

It's just,
I was thinking Friday,

we could get some "fro-yo,"
do some choreography.

You know, you guys.

Whittier, you have
such great hair. I just. . .
Who does your color?

MAN: Marker.
Hmm.

Uh. . .
I expect more. . . (GROANS)

Well, she's a sh. . .
Sinking ship.

Oh, my God!

(SINGING) You're a real tough
cookie with a long history
(LIP-SYNCING)

Of breaking little hearts
like the one in me

That's okay
Let's see how you do it

Put up your dukes
Let's get down to it

Hit me with your best shot

Why don't you hit me
with your best shot

Hit me with your best shot

(GRUNTS)

Fire away

You come on with a come-on
You don't fight fair

But that's okay
See if I care

Knock me down
It's all in vain

I get right back
on my feet again

Hit me with your best shot

Why don't you hit me
with your best shot

Hit me with your best shot

Fire away

Who can settle this
and judge it who's right.

Oh, yeah?
Yes!

MAN: That's a cut.
Almost had it.

(GIGGLES)

Hit me with your best shot

Why don't you hit me
with your best shot

Hit me with your best shot

Fire away

(SINGSONG)
Give me an "S-S"
Give me a "T-R".

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)
You know I'm about to
get twisted, baby!

Hit me with your best shot

It's really not
coming off.

Fire away

Away!

Fire away

Yeah!

Fire away

WHITTIER: God, are you
losing your drawers?

Sorry.

Fire away

And cut!

(ALL CHEERING)

You just wait till game day.
She'll be perfect.

(IMITATING WHITTIER)
Oh, she's gonna be
perfect on game day.

Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

Shh!

(MUSIC PLAYING)
Co... Come on

Co... Come on

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

Co... Come on

Come on

(WOMAN VOCALIZING)