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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,990
(upbeat electronic music)
2
00:00:02,989 --> 00:00:06,569
(drink pouring into glass)
3
00:00:08,912 --> 00:00:10,662
- Are you smugglin' drink, Eamon?
4
00:00:10,660 --> 00:00:13,520
- No, I paid for this drinks, I did.
5
00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:15,950
I didn't.
6
00:00:15,953 --> 00:00:17,723
(gasps)
- Eamon!
7
00:00:17,723 --> 00:00:19,213
- This competition in the newspapers
8
00:00:19,210 --> 00:00:20,470
to get Foster and Allen
9
00:00:20,470 --> 00:00:22,600
to play in one of your houses, imagine!
10
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,430
- Oh my god, I just love Foster.
11
00:00:24,430 --> 00:00:26,070
I heard that he can impregnate a woman
12
00:00:26,070 --> 00:00:26,980
just by looking at her.
13
00:00:26,981 --> 00:00:28,291
Did you know that they were
number one in New Zealand
14
00:00:28,290 --> 00:00:29,320
for four weeks?
15
00:00:29,318 --> 00:00:30,598
(all gasp)
16
00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:33,970
- They're just amazing, they're
one of my favorite bands
17
00:00:33,970 --> 00:00:37,640
in the whole world, and I
don't know any other bands.
18
00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:39,790
- To win, simply complete
the following sentence
19
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,940
in no less than 30 words.
20
00:00:41,940 --> 00:00:43,860
I like Foster and Allen because ...
21
00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:44,900
Oh, I give up.
22
00:00:44,901 --> 00:00:45,731
- What?
23
00:00:45,734 --> 00:00:46,884
No, Eamon, there's loads
of us here to help.
24
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,930
I like Foster and Allen because
25
00:00:48,930 --> 00:00:51,270
- Um, because
- Because
26
00:00:51,270 --> 00:00:52,610
- Can you read the question again?
27
00:00:52,610 --> 00:00:54,260
- I like Foster and Allen because
28
00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:58,109
Oh, I just can't think of a word!
29
00:00:58,107 --> 00:00:59,897
- Oh, come on, anyone!
30
00:00:59,900 --> 00:01:02,870
Someone, use their imagination.
31
00:01:02,869 --> 00:01:04,139
- Brr!
32
00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:05,850
- Here, Eamon, what ever
happened to that young fella
33
00:01:05,850 --> 00:01:07,990
in school who used his
imagination that time?
34
00:01:07,990 --> 00:01:08,820
- Oh yeah.
35
00:01:08,823 --> 00:01:09,933
We beat the shit out of him.
36
00:01:09,931 --> 00:01:12,011
(laughs)
37
00:01:13,519 --> 00:01:15,519
- That was class.
38
00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:17,290
- Because!
39
00:01:17,290 --> 00:01:19,120
They're very good.
40
00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:23,360
- Write that down.
41
00:01:23,364 --> 00:01:24,204
- Okay.
42
00:01:24,197 --> 00:01:25,227
- That's just three words, though.
43
00:01:25,230 --> 00:01:26,770
We need 27 more.
44
00:01:26,770 --> 00:01:27,600
- Eh, blue.
45
00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:29,270
- What?
46
00:01:29,273 --> 00:01:30,493
- That's my favorite color.
47
00:01:31,488 --> 00:01:32,388
- Write down blue.
48
00:01:35,368 --> 00:01:36,938
- I saw that one!
49
00:01:36,940 --> 00:01:39,000
You, you're barred.
50
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:39,830
- No!
51
00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:40,673
What does that mean?
52
00:01:40,666 --> 00:01:42,276
- It means you can't drink in here.
53
00:01:42,283 --> 00:01:46,223
And you can't come back here, ever again!
54
00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:47,050
- Nooo!
55
00:01:48,248 --> 00:01:51,668
(funky electronic music)
56
00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:09,140
- Eamon?
57
00:02:09,140 --> 00:02:10,730
I'm off out to meet the
other women in the pub,
58
00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:13,440
because, well, I can't think
of anything else to do.
59
00:02:13,443 --> 00:02:14,283
- You're barred.
60
00:02:14,276 --> 00:02:15,106
- I'm not!
61
00:02:15,109 --> 00:02:17,039
- I was caught smuggling drink in.
62
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:17,870
I'm barred.
63
00:02:17,873 --> 00:02:19,373
That means you're barred.
64
00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:20,400
- I'm an independent lady!
65
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,140
And I have my own independent
66
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,340
- Thoughts.
67
00:02:25,342 --> 00:02:26,932
- Yeah, okay, yeah!
68
00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:32,940
Yeah, I'm barred.
69
00:02:32,940 --> 00:02:34,050
- Shut up, I'm trying to watch this!
70
00:02:34,050 --> 00:02:36,170
- The Irish have been
brewing this illegal booze
71
00:02:36,170 --> 00:02:37,570
for hundreds of years.
72
00:02:37,570 --> 00:02:39,510
Some say it's good for what ails you.
73
00:02:39,510 --> 00:02:41,610
Others say it's very dangerous.
74
00:02:41,610 --> 00:02:43,470
- [Voiceover] Police discovered
the illegal operation
75
00:02:43,470 --> 00:02:44,730
and full production.
76
00:02:44,730 --> 00:02:46,950
Then, the ultimate test.
77
00:02:49,744 --> 00:02:50,994
- It's really good stuff.
78
00:02:51,990 --> 00:02:53,490
- Bridget, have I ever told you about
79
00:02:53,490 --> 00:02:55,420
my family's secret recipe for poitin?
80
00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:57,789
- No.
81
00:02:57,792 --> 00:02:59,222
- No, you haven't, because I'm brilliant
82
00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,570
at keeping secrets.
83
00:03:00,570 --> 00:03:02,450
I know where Shergar's buried.
84
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:03,280
- Where?
85
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:04,703
- Just outside Borris-in-Ossory
86
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:06,010
Ah, shit.
87
00:03:06,942 --> 00:03:11,942
(dramatic music)
(dog barking)
88
00:03:17,408 --> 00:03:18,238
Yes!
89
00:03:19,107 --> 00:03:21,057
- I hope you're not looking at old issues
90
00:03:21,060 --> 00:03:21,970
of Ireland's Own,
91
00:03:21,970 --> 00:03:24,580
with the pictures of the
women in the tight cardigans.
92
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:25,410
- 'Course not!
93
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,333
I'm not a pervert.
94
00:03:28,010 --> 00:03:29,610
Nothin' but junk up here anyway.
95
00:03:31,940 --> 00:03:34,290
I told you to get rid
of this old painting!
96
00:03:34,290 --> 00:03:36,180
- Won't fit in the bin!
97
00:03:36,177 --> 00:03:37,807
And don't touch my chalice!
98
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,120
My father found that in a bog years ago.
99
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:42,040
- Chalices!
100
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,010
Who uses chalices anymore?
101
00:03:44,014 --> 00:03:45,604
When was the last time
you hear someone say,
102
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,130
Jesus, would you get me an
old chalice full of tea?
103
00:03:48,130 --> 00:03:50,920
Or, I'm parched for a
chalice full of MiWadi?
104
00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:52,740
You're throwing that out.
105
00:03:52,742 --> 00:03:54,472
- You say so.
106
00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:55,917
(gasps)
107
00:03:55,916 --> 00:03:58,666
(dramatic music)
108
00:04:08,297 --> 00:04:09,347
- Oh, it's beautiful.
109
00:04:10,374 --> 00:04:15,374
(rock music)
(dog barking)
110
00:04:15,490 --> 00:04:17,860
Right, according to this
recipe, I think it just needs
111
00:04:17,860 --> 00:04:19,930
one more pinch of that.
112
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,264
(fizzling)
113
00:04:24,260 --> 00:04:25,400
Now stir it.
114
00:04:25,403 --> 00:04:26,763
(water sloshing)
115
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:27,670
Right, enough.
116
00:04:29,780 --> 00:04:32,320
Finally, our own homemade poitin,
117
00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,110
made from my great grandfather's recipe.
118
00:04:35,110 --> 00:04:39,350
We'll never ever have to buy
another drink ever ever again,
119
00:04:39,350 --> 00:04:43,170
until the day I die, probably
from drinking this poitin.
120
00:04:43,170 --> 00:04:44,970
Okay you try it first.
121
00:04:44,970 --> 00:04:45,800
- Are you sure it's okay?
122
00:04:45,803 --> 00:04:48,423
It's just so many skull and bones
123
00:04:48,420 --> 00:04:49,960
on some of the ingredients.
124
00:04:50,890 --> 00:04:52,370
Don't mind me, you want?
125
00:04:52,370 --> 00:04:53,770
- Yeah, that's just the alcohol companies
126
00:04:53,770 --> 00:04:54,620
trying to protect their interests.
127
00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:55,450
Go on.
128
00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:58,810
- Okay, here I go.
129
00:05:00,110 --> 00:05:01,240
Eamon, if you were going to distract me,
130
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:02,230
how would you do it?
131
00:05:02,230 --> 00:05:03,060
- I'd say,
132
00:05:03,063 --> 00:05:04,963
"Look Bridget, there's J.R.
Ewing in the back garden
133
00:05:04,957 --> 00:05:06,977
"taking a slash," and you'd turn around.
134
00:05:06,980 --> 00:05:07,940
So go on, drink now.
135
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:08,770
Go on, drink it.
136
00:05:11,825 --> 00:05:13,745
- Oh look, there's J.R. in our
back garden having a slash!
137
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:15,257
- Where?
138
00:05:15,259 --> 00:05:16,089
Where, where is he?
139
00:05:16,092 --> 00:05:16,932
I don't see him.
(liquid pouring)
140
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:17,885
I don't see J.R.
141
00:05:17,890 --> 00:05:19,410
Whereabouts is he?
142
00:05:19,408 --> 00:05:21,388
- Mmmm, oh.
143
00:05:21,390 --> 00:05:22,220
- Well?
144
00:05:22,223 --> 00:05:24,693
- It's not strong enough?
145
00:05:24,690 --> 00:05:26,430
- I knew it, put more of that stuff in.
146
00:05:29,140 --> 00:05:31,670
- That's not J.R. Ewing,
that's Mick Hucknall, Bridget.
147
00:05:31,667 --> 00:05:34,417
(liquid pouring)
148
00:05:35,579 --> 00:05:38,899
(dog lapping up liquid)
149
00:05:38,904 --> 00:05:42,324
(funky electronic music)
150
00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:44,215
Right, it's finished.
151
00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:45,910
It's time to get out of
our tiny little minds
152
00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:48,270
by drinking all this free
booze that I cooked up,
153
00:05:48,270 --> 00:05:49,890
literally, for free.
154
00:05:49,890 --> 00:05:51,820
- Well, apart from all the
pots and pans you ruined,
155
00:05:51,820 --> 00:05:53,160
the cost of the woven pipes,
156
00:05:53,157 --> 00:05:54,417
all the stuff that you
have to put into it,
157
00:05:54,423 --> 00:05:56,473
and the time it took us to make it.
158
00:05:56,470 --> 00:05:58,740
- Yeah, well, apart from all
that, Bridget, it's free.
159
00:05:58,740 --> 00:06:00,000
Now I don't want you
going telling the whole-
160
00:05:59,997 --> 00:06:01,487
(door bell chimes)
161
00:06:01,490 --> 00:06:04,500
Couldn't even get to
the end of the sentence.
162
00:06:04,495 --> 00:06:06,565
(rock music)
(dog barking)
163
00:06:06,570 --> 00:06:07,580
Now, one drink.
164
00:06:07,580 --> 00:06:09,620
- [Group] Yes, one drink.
165
00:06:09,615 --> 00:06:10,895
- I mean it, one drink.
166
00:06:10,895 --> 00:06:14,665
- Eamon, what Irish person
goes on to have more drinks
167
00:06:14,670 --> 00:06:16,640
after saying I'm just
having the one drink?
168
00:06:16,637 --> 00:06:17,467
Who does that?
169
00:06:17,470 --> 00:06:18,300
(laughter)
170
00:06:18,303 --> 00:06:19,313
- I don't know.
171
00:06:19,307 --> 00:06:20,567
- Well, there was the one.
172
00:06:20,568 --> 00:06:21,668
- Come on.
173
00:06:21,667 --> 00:06:25,737
(all murmur in appreciation)
174
00:06:25,744 --> 00:06:26,874
- Right, slainte.
175
00:06:26,872 --> 00:06:28,372
- [Group] Slainte!
176
00:06:29,379 --> 00:06:30,849
- Bottoms up.
177
00:06:30,851 --> 00:06:34,681
(liquid pouring and fizzing)
178
00:06:34,683 --> 00:06:35,653
- Well that was piss water.
179
00:06:35,650 --> 00:06:36,950
I don't feel anything.
180
00:06:36,950 --> 00:06:39,790
- I've drank actual piss
water, and this tastes worse.
181
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:41,130
- I followed the recipe exactly, like.
182
00:06:41,130 --> 00:06:42,040
There should be a bit of the
183
00:06:42,036 --> 00:06:46,316
(slurring and distortion)
184
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:47,403
(new age chanting)
185
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,010
No, you're drunk.
186
00:06:54,061 --> 00:06:57,141
(distorted laughing)
187
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:04,021
(distorted yelling)
188
00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,991
(TV static)
189
00:07:16,872 --> 00:07:19,622
(mimics a tiger)
190
00:07:22,581 --> 00:07:25,251
(eagle calling)
191
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:29,132
(distorted laughing)
192
00:07:29,131 --> 00:07:30,051
Yeah, one -
193
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:34,333
look for a safe place.
194
00:07:35,315 --> 00:07:38,225
Two - don't hurry stop and wait.
195
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,433
Three - look all around you
196
00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:44,679
(chanting)
197
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:46,880
- Salmonella.
198
00:07:51,272 --> 00:07:52,872
- Salmonella.
199
00:07:52,870 --> 00:07:54,840
Why aren't you chanting, Bridget?
200
00:07:54,843 --> 00:07:56,143
- Don't know the words.
201
00:07:56,144 --> 00:07:58,774
- But there are no words.
202
00:07:58,774 --> 00:08:01,724
- Bum de bum bum de dum bum be dum-
203
00:08:01,723 --> 00:08:04,643
- No, no, no, that's the wrong one.
204
00:08:06,432 --> 00:08:10,782
(whispering) Before you
cross the road, remember.
205
00:08:10,784 --> 00:08:13,974
Let all the traffic pass you.
206
00:08:13,974 --> 00:08:15,814
I don't know the rest.
207
00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:19,474
(flute music)
208
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:47,094
(eagle calling)
209
00:09:00,111 --> 00:09:01,191
- Get off it!
210
00:09:02,734 --> 00:09:04,654
- Where is my car keys?
211
00:09:06,352 --> 00:09:08,102
Where is my car keys?
212
00:09:09,603 --> 00:09:12,203
I want to (mumbling).
213
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:16,300
- Oh my God, Bridget, this is amazing.
214
00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:19,530
Even though all the neighbors
think you're a massive pain
215
00:09:19,530 --> 00:09:22,080
in the hole, what you and Eamon have done
216
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,340
is fantastic.
217
00:09:23,340 --> 00:09:27,170
I mean, you've expanded
our tiny little minds.
218
00:09:27,170 --> 00:09:28,850
What could possibly go wrong?
219
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:36,970
- Concepta, can you see that too?
220
00:09:38,050 --> 00:09:40,450
- You mean, that dead dog?
221
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:44,680
- Yeah.
222
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:48,270
- He's dead.
223
00:09:49,744 --> 00:09:50,584
- Shite.
224
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:54,854
(birds singing)
225
00:09:54,851 --> 00:09:58,631
- (distorted voice)
Eamon, I've terrible news.
226
00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:01,250
- Eamon, I'm hi, pleased to met me.
227
00:10:01,254 --> 00:10:02,094
(slap)
228
00:10:02,087 --> 00:10:06,187
Oh my God, your hand to
my face feels so good.
229
00:10:06,192 --> 00:10:09,802
- (distorted voice) Snap out of it.
230
00:10:09,801 --> 00:10:13,981
- Shhh, you're going to wake the baby.
231
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:17,040
Don't wake the little baby.
232
00:10:17,043 --> 00:10:19,273
- (distorted voice) The dog is dead.
233
00:10:21,232 --> 00:10:23,892
Do you know what that means?
234
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:25,710
- Yes I do.
235
00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:26,800
This is big news.
236
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,740
We have to tell everyone.
237
00:10:28,742 --> 00:10:29,632
- (distorted voice) Yes.
238
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,910
- The dog represents the universe
239
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,890
and the universe is dying.
240
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:39,300
Oh my God, the universe is dying.
241
00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:41,420
This is so sad.
242
00:10:43,390 --> 00:10:44,980
Who are you.
243
00:10:44,981 --> 00:10:46,201
- (distorted voice) Eamon,
244
00:10:46,203 --> 00:10:49,293
the dog drank the poitin, understand?
245
00:10:50,832 --> 00:10:53,582
Everybody's going to fucking die!
246
00:10:55,563 --> 00:10:58,073
- Why didn't you say
that in the first place?
247
00:10:58,070 --> 00:10:59,710
- Finally, what are we going to do?
248
00:10:59,712 --> 00:11:00,552
- I don't know.
249
00:11:00,545 --> 00:11:01,375
Here, take the baby.
250
00:11:01,378 --> 00:11:03,218
Take the baby, take the
baby, take the baby off me.
251
00:11:03,220 --> 00:11:05,310
Take the baby, take the baby.
252
00:11:07,094 --> 00:11:09,934
(breathes deeply)
253
00:11:10,934 --> 00:11:14,564
- Eamon, that's the one that
used to eat his own shite.
254
00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:18,570
- Smokes as well, where'd he learn that?
255
00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:19,920
- We have to tell everybody.
256
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,190
The dog drank the poitin
exactly 12 hours ago,
257
00:11:22,190 --> 00:11:23,440
so we don't have long.
258
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,020
I was going to make a stew,
but there's just no time.
259
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:28,160
I'm going to make a
few sandwiches instead.
260
00:11:29,180 --> 00:11:30,400
- Look at them.
261
00:11:30,403 --> 00:11:33,593
(neighs like a horse)
262
00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:36,072
The world'll be a different
place without them.
263
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,600
Won't be a better place, but
264
00:11:38,772 --> 00:11:40,522
be a different place.
265
00:11:42,363 --> 00:11:45,783
(funky electronic music)
266
00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:53,033
All right, I've got something to tell ya.
267
00:11:53,030 --> 00:11:54,350
I want to apologize on behalf of Bridget.
268
00:11:54,353 --> 00:11:55,683
Because it's all her fault.
269
00:11:55,683 --> 00:11:57,063
- What?
270
00:11:57,060 --> 00:11:58,370
- We're all going to die.
271
00:11:58,374 --> 00:12:00,624
(laughter)
272
00:12:02,115 --> 00:12:03,605
- Stop it.
273
00:12:03,614 --> 00:12:04,704
Stop with it.
274
00:12:07,304 --> 00:12:08,144
Shh.
275
00:12:10,464 --> 00:12:11,304
Stop it!
276
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:13,237
It's true, it's true!
277
00:12:13,235 --> 00:12:14,065
Look.
278
00:12:16,551 --> 00:12:19,181
I gave the dog a taste of the
booze exactly 12 hours ago
279
00:12:19,183 --> 00:12:21,363
(whispers) and now it's dead.
280
00:12:21,363 --> 00:12:24,103
- Oh my God, you murderous
bitch, you killed your own dog.
281
00:12:24,104 --> 00:12:25,184
- Yes
(laughter)
282
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:27,619
- [Noreen] Oh my God.
283
00:12:27,624 --> 00:12:28,624
- Oh my God,
284
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:32,286
we're all going to die.
285
00:12:32,290 --> 00:12:33,390
- Father, do something.
286
00:12:33,390 --> 00:12:37,330
- If only there was some
sort of, ritual thingy,
287
00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:40,900
we could all do together,
now, that might potentially
288
00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:42,600
save our immortal souls.
289
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:43,970
There's got to be something.
290
00:12:43,970 --> 00:12:45,050
There is, wait.
291
00:12:46,496 --> 00:12:48,306
Give me a minute, I'll think of it.
292
00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:50,460
- We've exactly 11 hours
and 58 minutes to live,
293
00:12:50,460 --> 00:12:52,320
so let's make the most of it.
294
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,390
I've got something to tell you,
295
00:12:54,393 --> 00:12:55,943
and I've got something to say.
296
00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:57,900
I'm going to put this dream in motion,
297
00:12:57,900 --> 00:13:00,990
I'm never going to let
anything stand in my way,
298
00:13:00,990 --> 00:13:02,930
because when the going gets tough
299
00:13:02,930 --> 00:13:04,830
the tough get a little bit better
300
00:13:04,830 --> 00:13:06,730
what they did in the first place.
301
00:13:06,730 --> 00:13:09,740
- I told you, if you're going
to reference Billy Ocean,
302
00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:10,630
get it right!
303
00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:13,750
- We've 11 hours and 58
minutes left to live,
304
00:13:13,745 --> 00:13:17,705
so let's make it the best 11
hours and 58 minutes ever.
305
00:13:17,710 --> 00:13:18,780
- Can you please stop saying
306
00:13:18,780 --> 00:13:19,860
how long we've left to live, Bridget.
307
00:13:19,860 --> 00:13:21,460
It's making me a bit uncomfortable.
308
00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:23,320
Come on, we got to think
of something to do.
309
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:24,770
Come on, let's go.
310
00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:25,880
Ideas, something to do.
311
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:26,710
What are we going to do.
312
00:13:26,713 --> 00:13:27,553
Go!
313
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:33,300
- No, no, I wouldn't have anything now.
314
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:34,130
- Gardening?
315
00:13:35,446 --> 00:13:36,276
- What are we going to do?
316
00:13:36,279 --> 00:13:37,109
We need to do something!
317
00:13:37,112 --> 00:13:38,252
Quick, ideas, something!
318
00:13:38,254 --> 00:13:39,274
Anything!
319
00:13:39,274 --> 00:13:40,444
- Wait!
320
00:13:40,435 --> 00:13:41,795
I've got something to tell ya.
321
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:42,780
Now, i've got something to say.
322
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,300
I'm not going to stand in here anymore.
323
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:45,690
Come on, follow me.
324
00:13:45,690 --> 00:13:47,730
- That's not it either, it's not, its.
325
00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:50,880
I'm going to put this dream in motion,
326
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,560
never, no, I get it for you now.
327
00:13:55,783 --> 00:13:57,953
(snoring)
328
00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:01,040
- Put that back on, I was watching that.
329
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,510
- No, I won't.
330
00:14:02,510 --> 00:14:04,800
I'm not spending the
last few hours of my life
331
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,900
watching Garda Patrol.
332
00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:09,110
Oh my God, surely there's something else
333
00:14:09,110 --> 00:14:10,210
we can think of doing.
334
00:14:11,092 --> 00:14:12,432
- [Group] Hmmmm.
335
00:14:14,180 --> 00:14:15,730
- Father?
336
00:14:15,731 --> 00:14:17,281
- Father, still nothing, sorry.
337
00:14:18,130 --> 00:14:21,180
- Well if there's nothing
else, how 'bout we have
338
00:14:21,180 --> 00:14:22,440
an orgy?
339
00:14:22,438 --> 00:14:24,198
- (laughing) Jesus Christ.
340
00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:27,217
- Yeah.
341
00:14:27,220 --> 00:14:28,050
- Yeah.
342
00:14:28,053 --> 00:14:29,373
- Yeah, yeah, always wanted, yeah.
343
00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:32,736
(sighs)
344
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:36,760
- Okay, on three.
345
00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:38,680
One, two,
346
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:40,870
two and a half.
347
00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,030
Two and three quarters.
348
00:14:46,420 --> 00:14:48,060
Two and seven eighths.
349
00:14:48,060 --> 00:14:48,890
Three.
350
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,280
Come on, are we having
an orgy now, yes or no?
351
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:54,110
- [Group] Yes.
352
00:14:56,740 --> 00:14:57,790
- Okay on three then.
353
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,070
One,
354
00:15:01,237 --> 00:15:02,067
two,
355
00:15:02,070 --> 00:15:02,900
three.
356
00:15:03,830 --> 00:15:05,980
- Oh, Eamon, I don't mean to make you feel
357
00:15:05,980 --> 00:15:06,810
self-conscious or anything,
358
00:15:06,813 --> 00:15:08,813
but that is a ridiculously small-
359
00:15:08,810 --> 00:15:10,000
- It's not that small.
360
00:15:10,001 --> 00:15:11,781
Well, you wouldn't lose
your keys behind it, but
361
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:13,420
- They say size doesn't matter,
362
00:15:13,420 --> 00:15:15,420
but that would matter to me.
363
00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:17,480
I mean, Jesus Christ, look at it.
364
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:20,070
It's almost microscopic.
365
00:15:20,070 --> 00:15:21,580
- Well in Eamon's defense.
366
00:15:21,580 --> 00:15:22,410
- Yes.
367
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:24,550
- I can't think of anything right now.
368
00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:26,288
(whispering) I told ya, I told ya.
369
00:15:26,290 --> 00:15:27,550
- Get out.
370
00:15:27,548 --> 00:15:30,098
- Ah, come on, ah no, stay and we'll-
371
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:30,925
- Come on.
372
00:15:30,928 --> 00:15:32,278
- Well are we having an orgy, yes or no?
373
00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:33,860
- Yes.
374
00:15:33,857 --> 00:15:36,427
- [Group] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
375
00:15:36,430 --> 00:15:37,560
- Okay, on three.
376
00:15:38,590 --> 00:15:39,420
Three.
377
00:15:43,470 --> 00:15:44,450
Well that was a complete waste of time.
378
00:15:44,447 --> 00:15:47,357
And by the way, father,
twice I told you to back off.
379
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:48,560
Twice!
380
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:49,440
- What me?
381
00:15:50,580 --> 00:15:53,620
Eamon, no, I was just climbing over you
382
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,790
to give Noreen a big kiss
and I just fell on ya.
383
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,780
- Yeah, and you kept on
falling on top of me.
384
00:15:58,780 --> 00:16:00,570
I had to get Concepta
to help you up twice.
385
00:16:00,570 --> 00:16:02,970
- Oh, shut your crack, lads.
386
00:16:02,970 --> 00:16:04,680
That's what I'm here for.
387
00:16:07,852 --> 00:16:11,712
- (Sighs) What are we going to do now?
388
00:16:15,614 --> 00:16:16,914
- Another orgy.
389
00:16:16,913 --> 00:16:18,933
(laughter)
390
00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:20,774
- Jesus Chri ... yeah.
391
00:16:21,991 --> 00:16:22,821
- Yeah, okay, yeah.
392
00:16:22,824 --> 00:16:23,664
- Yeah, yeah.
393
00:16:23,657 --> 00:16:26,157
(funky music)
394
00:16:28,993 --> 00:16:32,003
- Well that was another
complete waste of time.
395
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:32,960
And again, Father.
396
00:16:34,020 --> 00:16:36,120
You were close to getting a box that time.
397
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,550
- I slipped.
398
00:16:38,550 --> 00:16:39,700
- Never mind that.
399
00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:42,100
Look, we have 11 hours and 51 minutes
400
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:43,810
left of our meaningless lives.
401
00:16:43,810 --> 00:16:45,010
We need to do something.
402
00:16:53,970 --> 00:16:56,250
- Now, ideas for the list?
403
00:16:56,251 --> 00:16:59,741
- Oh my God, I've always
wanted to audition
404
00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:02,180
for a performing arts school in New York.
405
00:17:02,180 --> 00:17:05,500
I'll be a dancer from the
wrong side of the tracks.
406
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:07,710
And I'll fall for a beautiful cellist
407
00:17:07,710 --> 00:17:09,410
from the right side of the tracks.
408
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,179
- Like it, let's do it.
409
00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:13,420
- That's "Fame."
410
00:17:13,420 --> 00:17:15,750
That's the American
television show, "Fame."
411
00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:16,580
And the flight's too long.
412
00:17:16,583 --> 00:17:19,163
You'd die in the way
going over, you thick.
413
00:17:19,158 --> 00:17:19,988
- Oh.
414
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:22,500
- Oh, oh, oh, I've got one.
415
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,940
It's always been my dream
to wear a leather jacket.
416
00:17:24,940 --> 00:17:26,530
- Ohhh
417
00:17:26,527 --> 00:17:29,947
- And to buy a talking
car, and call it KITT.
418
00:17:29,950 --> 00:17:32,120
And the talking car would
have a booster button.
419
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,790
And when you press the
booster button the car flies.
420
00:17:36,957 --> 00:17:37,827
- "Knight Rider!"
421
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:39,960
That's called "Knight Rider!"
422
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,810
Have any of you got any ideas
423
00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:44,220
that aren't American television shows?
424
00:17:44,220 --> 00:17:45,130
- Oh me, me.
425
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:46,340
I have one, I do.
426
00:17:46,340 --> 00:17:48,370
And it's not an American TV show.
427
00:17:48,369 --> 00:17:51,709
Ever since I was a child I've
always wanted to time travel
428
00:17:51,710 --> 00:17:53,700
into different people's bodies.
429
00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:54,900
And when I'm in those bodies
430
00:17:54,900 --> 00:17:56,840
I give them a little hand, I do.
431
00:17:56,837 --> 00:17:58,087
- "Quantum Leap."
432
00:17:58,090 --> 00:17:59,000
- Shut up, no.
433
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,230
And I have a friend, called Al.
434
00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:02,200
And he's a bit of a ghost,
435
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,470
and he has a computer called Ziggy.
436
00:18:03,470 --> 00:18:04,830
And he gives me great advice.
437
00:18:04,830 --> 00:18:05,680
Oh, and he smokes.
438
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:06,580
I'll write it down.
439
00:18:06,584 --> 00:18:07,424
- You're not writing that down,
440
00:18:07,417 --> 00:18:09,167
because that's called "Quantum Leap."
441
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:14,820
- I have an idea, but it's
a little bit embarrassing.
442
00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:15,780
- It's okay, Concepta,
443
00:18:15,780 --> 00:18:18,250
sure we'll all be dead in 11
hours and 48 minutes anyway.
444
00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:20,090
- Right, okay, well,
445
00:18:20,090 --> 00:18:24,450
I've always wanted to
take part in an orgy.
446
00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:26,260
- What?
447
00:18:26,260 --> 00:18:28,900
- Oh, God, I shouldn't have said anything.
448
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:31,140
- Concepta we just had two already.
449
00:18:31,140 --> 00:18:32,500
- Huh?
450
00:18:32,498 --> 00:18:35,068
- Jesus, is that what that was?
451
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:37,480
Oh my God, oh never
mind, still, nevermind.
452
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:42,420
- Has anybody got any other
ideas that isn't an orgy?
453
00:18:43,938 --> 00:18:46,438
(funky music)
454
00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:58,760
Bar another orgy, or an
American television program,
455
00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:02,320
can somebody just think of something?
456
00:19:03,436 --> 00:19:04,686
- [Group] Ummm.
457
00:19:07,468 --> 00:19:08,838
- Huh!
458
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:10,400
- It's been over eight hours.
459
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,410
We've only three hours and
four minutes left to live,
460
00:19:12,410 --> 00:19:15,610
and all we can come up
with is "Quantum Leap."
461
00:19:16,910 --> 00:19:18,430
- I for one, say we do it.
462
00:19:19,650 --> 00:19:21,640
- I told you, Bridget, if
time travel was possible,
463
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,100
no one would have married ya.
464
00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:23,996
(laughs)
465
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,400
Somebody think of something.
466
00:19:26,403 --> 00:19:28,863
- We can't, Eamon, we can't.
467
00:19:28,860 --> 00:19:30,950
- Who would have thought
that our severely limited
468
00:19:30,950 --> 00:19:32,700
imagination would have such a catastrophic
469
00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:34,490
impact on our lives.
470
00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:36,970
- There's a reason none
of us have left this town.
471
00:19:36,970 --> 00:19:38,350
- Mmmm ... blue.
472
00:19:38,350 --> 00:19:40,730
- Frank, will you stop
saying random words.
473
00:19:40,730 --> 00:19:42,020
It's not helping.
474
00:19:42,020 --> 00:19:43,590
- But it's my favorite color.
475
00:19:43,590 --> 00:19:44,800
- That's it, that's it, Frank.
476
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:45,820
That's it.
477
00:19:45,820 --> 00:19:46,900
I know what we should do.
478
00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:48,600
No wait, I know what we have to do.
479
00:19:48,596 --> 00:19:49,716
- What?
480
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,120
- Well, it's times like these,
481
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:52,600
you take stock in your life, don't ya?
482
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:53,430
- I don't know.
483
00:19:53,433 --> 00:19:54,553
- Oh come on now, you do.
484
00:19:54,547 --> 00:19:56,187
You definitely take stock of your life.
485
00:19:56,188 --> 00:19:57,718
- [Group] Yeah, yeah.
486
00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,560
- Only a few hours to
live, times like these,
487
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,620
you take stock of your life, come on now.
488
00:20:01,615 --> 00:20:03,195
- Okay, okay, yeah.
489
00:20:04,338 --> 00:20:05,938
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
490
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,550
- So what have I done with my life, huh?
491
00:20:09,550 --> 00:20:11,070
300 pounds in the bank.
492
00:20:11,070 --> 00:20:12,430
A hundred pounds in prize bonds
493
00:20:12,430 --> 00:20:14,200
that I've never won anything on.
494
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,850
80 pounds in an old statue over there
495
00:20:15,850 --> 00:20:17,510
that Bridget doesn't think I know about.
496
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:20,867
- 80 quid, I had four
grand in there, Eamon!
497
00:20:20,867 --> 00:20:22,357
- 480 pounds, huh?
498
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:23,630
What kind of legacy is that to leave
499
00:20:23,630 --> 00:20:24,980
to my four to five kids?
500
00:20:24,980 --> 00:20:26,840
- Six to eight, Eamon.
501
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,920
- In fact, what's going to
happen them after I'm gone?
502
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,180
What's going to happen to all of our kids?
503
00:20:34,706 --> 00:20:35,696
(dramatic music)
504
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:36,880
But more importantly,
505
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:38,950
what's going to happen to my 480 pounds?
506
00:20:38,950 --> 00:20:40,050
Or yours, Concepta?
507
00:20:40,048 --> 00:20:41,768
Or yours, Noreen?
508
00:20:41,770 --> 00:20:44,650
Or yours, F ... Father, huh?
509
00:20:44,650 --> 00:20:46,480
The bloody kids are going
to get it, that's what.
510
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,190
No way, not over my dead body.
511
00:20:49,130 --> 00:20:51,520
- But isn't that the point,
Eamon, you'll be dead?
512
00:20:51,515 --> 00:20:53,395
- Yes, good point.
513
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:54,230
- Exactly.
514
00:20:54,233 --> 00:20:55,833
I don't want those little
shits outside playing
515
00:20:55,830 --> 00:20:58,370
on the road not paying any
road tax to get it either.
516
00:20:58,366 --> 00:20:59,726
What kind of message is that leaving them?
517
00:20:59,730 --> 00:21:01,690
Here's 480 pounds for
doing nothing only the last
518
00:21:01,690 --> 00:21:03,760
few years only wrecking
my feckin head, huh, huh?
519
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:05,260
They grow up wanting to
go to Trinity College
520
00:21:05,260 --> 00:21:06,550
and work in television.
521
00:21:06,550 --> 00:21:07,380
- Wankers.
522
00:21:07,383 --> 00:21:08,833
- I don't know Eamon.
523
00:21:08,830 --> 00:21:11,880
- Oh, if anyone should
know it's you, Concepta.
524
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,490
Your kids are the worst.
525
00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:15,840
They're arseholes.
526
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,500
Tell her, tell her.
527
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:19,720
- Oh, yeah, your kids are awful, Concepta.
528
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,610
Complete arseholes.
529
00:21:21,610 --> 00:21:22,470
- And gobshites.
530
00:21:22,470 --> 00:21:24,480
- Actually, when I did my
531
00:21:24,477 --> 00:21:25,307
- [Frank] Scum.
532
00:21:25,310 --> 00:21:26,160
- No, when I did my.
533
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,420
- I hate your kids.
534
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:31,030
- I H'd it in child psychology,
no less, in Carlow IT.
535
00:21:31,030 --> 00:21:33,870
I did notice that ah, no, my children,
536
00:21:33,870 --> 00:21:35,430
they are little shits.
537
00:21:35,430 --> 00:21:36,910
Hmm,
538
00:21:36,910 --> 00:21:38,250
shame.
539
00:21:38,250 --> 00:21:40,870
- Okay, we've got to spend
all our life's savings now.
540
00:21:40,870 --> 00:21:43,070
Pool all our money together
for one grand splurge.
541
00:21:43,071 --> 00:21:44,811
- Yes.
- Dream the impossible dream.
542
00:21:44,812 --> 00:21:45,652
- Yes!
543
00:21:45,645 --> 00:21:46,705
- And do something now that we can only do
544
00:21:46,710 --> 00:21:48,590
with the few hours left in our lives.
545
00:21:51,197 --> 00:21:52,027
- Oh.
546
00:21:55,568 --> 00:21:56,398
- Yes!
547
00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:58,653
- Oh, yeah.
548
00:22:00,858 --> 00:22:05,858
- (mumbles) in the front room, yes, yes!
549
00:22:05,869 --> 00:22:06,789
Blue, blue.
550
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,930
- Oh my God, I can't believe it.
551
00:22:12,931 --> 00:22:14,891
Foster and Allen right
here in my front room.
552
00:22:14,890 --> 00:22:16,890
- Wow, oh wow.
553
00:22:16,888 --> 00:22:20,178
They're really here, wow, wow.
554
00:22:20,180 --> 00:22:23,240
- Shut up, Concepta, you're
making a fool of yourself.
555
00:22:23,238 --> 00:22:25,218
Foster and Allen, how'd you get the name.
556
00:22:25,216 --> 00:22:26,196
- That is our names.
557
00:22:26,198 --> 00:22:28,508
(laughs)
558
00:22:28,507 --> 00:22:31,257
- (wheezes)
559
00:22:31,256 --> 00:22:33,796
- Foster, you're my favorite.
560
00:22:33,798 --> 00:22:35,338
- Well, I'm Allen.
561
00:22:35,336 --> 00:22:37,066
- Oh yeah, that's right, sorry.
562
00:22:37,067 --> 00:22:37,897
It's the other one I like best.
563
00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:39,070
- Foster, you're me favorite.
564
00:22:39,070 --> 00:22:39,900
- I said it first.
565
00:22:39,903 --> 00:22:41,683
- Shut up, Bridget, you're
making a fool of yourself.
566
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,900
- Foster, what are you
doing after the concert?
567
00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:46,260
- Eh, going straight back to Mullingar.
568
00:22:46,256 --> 00:22:47,406
- Oh, Mullingar.
569
00:22:47,410 --> 00:22:49,320
- Which road are you taking, lads?
570
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:50,200
- Well, the main road to Mullingar,
571
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,220
it's the only road to Mullingar.
572
00:22:52,220 --> 00:22:55,170
- Let's just let these strapping
young lads play us a tune.
573
00:22:57,475 --> 00:22:58,695
- I love you Foster!
574
00:23:00,976 --> 00:23:05,226
("Old Flames" by Foster and Allen)
575
00:23:15,774 --> 00:23:17,284
- Oh, look.
576
00:23:17,281 --> 00:23:18,861
The dog's not dead.
577
00:23:21,099 --> 00:23:23,889
(dog whines)
578
00:23:23,890 --> 00:23:25,790
- We're not going to die!
579
00:23:25,790 --> 00:23:28,040
(cheering)
580
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,040
- Give me me money back.
581
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:35,170
I've always said Makem and
Clancy are much better.
582
00:23:35,170 --> 00:23:38,850
Foster and Allen are completely
and utterly over-rated.
583
00:23:40,130 --> 00:23:42,400
- Eamon, that's the wrong dog.
584
00:23:43,780 --> 00:23:44,700
That's our dog.
585
00:23:44,700 --> 00:23:45,680
Still dead.
586
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:47,130
No, we're still going to die.
587
00:23:50,290 --> 00:23:52,050
- Well, this is awkward.
588
00:23:52,050 --> 00:23:53,600
Keep the money, play a song.
589
00:24:02,877 --> 00:24:07,877
♪ Downtown tonight I saw
an old flame someone who ♪
590
00:24:08,706 --> 00:24:13,706
♪ I used to take comfort
from long before I met you ♪
591
00:24:17,496 --> 00:24:22,246
♪ Old flames can't hold a candle to you. ♪
592
00:24:28,900 --> 00:24:29,910
- A rough crowd.
593
00:24:32,790 --> 00:24:34,640
- Think I need a drink.
594
00:24:34,637 --> 00:24:37,337
(breathes deeply)
595
00:24:37,337 --> 00:24:38,567
- What am I doing?
596
00:24:38,566 --> 00:24:39,396
Sure I didn't drink any.
597
00:24:39,399 --> 00:24:42,479
(Upbeat funky music)
598
00:24:46,046 --> 00:24:47,406
They're all dead.
599
00:24:47,410 --> 00:24:48,760
Let's celebrate.
600
00:24:48,758 --> 00:24:49,588
(glasses clinking)
601
00:24:49,591 --> 00:24:50,421
Cheers.
602
00:24:51,530 --> 00:24:52,360
- What's in it?
603
00:24:54,670 --> 00:24:55,500
- Ah, shite.
604
00:24:55,550 --> 00:25:00,100
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