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1
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(dramatic music)
2
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- Now,
3
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spill it.
4
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- No.
5
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- Not the whiskey!
6
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I meant confess.
7
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Just confess.
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- No!
9
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I told you everything I know.
10
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I can't remember!
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I don't know!
12
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I told you the story.
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(crying) Please don't make me.
14
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Unless you want me to tell you
15
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what happened last Christmas.
16
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- I want to know
17
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how your husband ended
up taking the big sleep
18
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in a six-foot wooden box.
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- Well, it was a few
days before Christmas.
20
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(Christmas music)
21
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- Bridget, sorry for your troubles.
22
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So close to Christmas and all.
23
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- Oh, no trouble, really.
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Just a few vous le vous
25
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and discounts thrown on plates, you know?
26
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- No Eamon being dead?
27
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- Oh yeah, that too.
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Boo-hoo.
29
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- Bridget.
30
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Is that the best the undertaker could do?
31
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And there was nothing they
could do about the smell?
32
00:01:41,083 --> 00:01:41,923
- No.
33
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- It's not easy being a single parent,
34
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but somethings get you through.
35
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I mean, with my Shawn--
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- Shut up, Concepta.
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How are you managing, Bridget?
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- Not too bad.
39
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One less ball to sew for
Christmas, I suppose.
40
00:01:59,770 --> 00:02:02,490
Actually, where are your husbands?
41
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I didn't see them at mass.
42
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- Wait!
43
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Think you might have
skipped over a bit there.
44
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You haven't told me how your husband
45
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ended up in the coffin.
46
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- Oh, that.
47
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Yeah, forgot, sorry.
48
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Just trying to set the scene.
49
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Are you getting the whole picture?
50
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Now, you know a bit
about the other husbands
51
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not showing up at mass.
52
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That's very relevant for
later on in the story.
53
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And then the fairy
lights around the coffin,
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that was my idea.
55
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Father Gabriel said he'd never seen
56
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the likes of it before.
57
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Beautiful.
58
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- Yes.
59
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Do you think that showed a
distinct lack of remorse?
60
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(laughing)
61
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- Of course it did!
62
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It's Christmas!
63
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Nobody wants remorse at Christmas.
64
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(disco pop music)
65
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:12,620
(Christmas music)
66
00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:17,760
Not enough!
67
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No!
68
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Eamon, we're short again this Christmas.
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We don't have a turkey,
70
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and unless you want chicken
soup for the dinner,
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we're going to have to
send the kids out again
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with your old rifle and
73
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see what they can shoot and bring home.
74
00:03:30,890 --> 00:03:33,550
- Yeah, I've stopped
listening to you 14 years ago.
75
00:03:34,740 --> 00:03:38,800
- Now, for the third time,
don't shoot yourself.
76
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Go!
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Shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo!
78
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Shoo!
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Do you know what?
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I didn't see Noreen, Concepta,
or Dolores' husband at mass.
81
00:03:46,740 --> 00:03:49,950
It's like they've gone missing.
82
00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:51,800
- Wish I could go missin'.
83
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Or die.
84
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- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
85
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Oh, it'd be amazing, you know.
86
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The life insurance payout
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the window's pension I'd get.
88
00:04:00,088 --> 00:04:01,238
Oh, it'd be great for me and the kids.
89
00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:02,252
More so for me.
90
00:04:02,247 --> 00:04:03,077
You know I we get the shop
opportunity all months
91
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:04,600
so we could probably have
shopping trips for days.
92
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,320
Get a young lad and he'd
probably play guitar
93
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:07,930
and be a fireman and he's
walking me in the bath,
94
00:04:07,930 --> 00:04:09,970
or the toilet, I don't mind, and we'd--
95
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- Bridget!
96
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Shut up and put the dinner on.
97
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- Would you listen to me
and my silly little dreams?
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- [Eamon On Radio] I mean it.
99
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Shut up and put the dinner on.
100
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Don't have me play this a third time.
101
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- Sure, we all know you're indestructible.
102
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I've been poisoning you for years
103
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and the only thing that's
happened to you is your
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testicles have grown out of proportion.
105
00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:35,560
- What?
106
00:04:35,557 --> 00:04:36,557
- I'm pretty sure we discussed this.
107
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Did we not?
108
00:04:38,033 --> 00:04:40,043
- What have you been poisoning me with?
109
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- I can explain.
110
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Or I can put on the dinner.
111
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- The lay plays is pure shite.
112
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No, that's wrong, hold on.
113
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It's a pity your mother is dead.
114
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No, that's not it, hold on.
115
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- For the last time,
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my mother's in a bungalow in North Armagh.
117
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- Yeah, put the dinner on.
118
00:05:08,156 --> 00:05:10,066
(dog barking)
(daunting music)
119
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Bridget, wake up.
120
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- I'm awake.
121
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Okay.
122
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Just give me a minute.
123
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I know you said you
didn't want anymore kids,
124
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so I borrowed Moreen Plancy's client.
125
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Now, I'm not sure how it works
126
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but her sister had a client,
127
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but when she gave birth to her last child
128
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outside of Goriel's
Chippard, the baby popped out
129
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with a coin in its hand and went, "Ha!"
130
00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:27,670
That happened.
131
00:05:27,673 --> 00:05:28,683
- Yeah, that definitely didn't happen.
132
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No, I was thinking about
133
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what you were talking about earlier on.
134
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- Oh, when I told you
135
00:05:33,180 --> 00:05:35,340
I wrote "Bullocks" inside your car.
136
00:05:37,630 --> 00:05:39,730
- When did you send me that?
137
00:05:39,734 --> 00:05:40,694
- Do you remember we
were watching Magnum PI
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and Magnum, he was leaning in to kiss
139
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:44,370
the blonde heiress and he was just--
140
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- I've stopped listening to you.
141
00:05:49,940 --> 00:05:51,080
No.
142
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About the money you'd get if I was to die.
143
00:05:52,910 --> 00:05:57,060
- Funny enough and for no
suspicious reason whatsoever,
144
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I've done a bit of research.
145
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So, the widow's pension
of 17 pounds a week
146
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is not means tested, so
147
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I could tell in a young man, handsome lad
148
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and the life insurance
payout of 22,000 pounds
149
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would pay off the mortgage in full.
150
00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:12,490
- God, it seems like
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I'd be more valuable to
you dead than I am alive.
152
00:06:15,590 --> 00:06:17,390
- Yes, hypodermically speaking.
153
00:06:17,390 --> 00:06:19,440
- I'm putting on side two,
154
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so don't get any ideas.
155
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,530
Take your hand away from there, Bridget.
156
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I mean it.
157
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Take your hand away from there
158
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or I'll cut it off.
159
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Bridget!
160
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Bridget!
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00:06:29,662 --> 00:06:30,672
Bridget!
162
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Bridget!
163
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(daunting music)
(heavy breathing)
164
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Hold on, Bridget.
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I didn't die at Christmas.
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- Yes, you did.
167
00:06:45,340 --> 00:06:47,930
- I wouldn't be sitting
here if I died at Christmas.
168
00:06:47,930 --> 00:06:49,440
- Hang on, who's that?
169
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- That's Eamon.
170
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- I thought that was your solicitor.
171
00:06:54,670 --> 00:06:56,290
I thought Eamon died.
172
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- He did.
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- I obviously didn't, Bridget.
174
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- You did.
175
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- Shut up.
176
00:07:02,468 --> 00:07:03,468
Listen, I'll tell the story.
177
00:07:03,474 --> 00:07:04,574
It's all her fault.
178
00:07:04,571 --> 00:07:07,521
- (laughing) You have no idea.
179
00:07:07,524 --> 00:07:09,724
Don't mind him.
180
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:13,010
- Was your husband in
the coffin or was he not?
181
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- He was.
182
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- But I wasn't dead.
183
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:16,930
- He was.
184
00:07:18,879 --> 00:07:21,629
(daunting music)
185
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,660
- Jesus, I'm dead.
186
00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:28,980
- You're not dead,
187
00:07:28,979 --> 00:07:29,809
but you better pretend to be dead
188
00:07:29,812 --> 00:07:30,652
because the whole town
are going to be here
189
00:07:30,645 --> 00:07:32,175
in a few minutes.
190
00:07:32,183 --> 00:07:33,213
- I didn't agree 100 percent to this.
191
00:07:33,213 --> 00:07:34,923
You didn't have to close the casket on me.
192
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,920
- I just thought I would
save everybody the pain
193
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:41,220
of having to look at your stupid face.
194
00:07:41,215 --> 00:07:42,655
- Are you wearing yellow?
195
00:07:42,660 --> 00:07:44,000
And perfume?
196
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:45,890
- I'm just trying to enjoy my life, Eamon.
197
00:07:45,890 --> 00:07:48,710
And if that means some
slightly younger fellow,
198
00:07:48,710 --> 00:07:50,200
who's into new age stuff like
199
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,160
pleasing their other half
with nothing in return,
200
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:53,390
then so be it.
201
00:07:54,750 --> 00:07:56,330
- I'm not even pretend dead yet
202
00:07:56,330 --> 00:07:57,790
and you're riding half the town.
203
00:07:57,790 --> 00:08:00,470
And by the way, those men don't exist.
204
00:08:00,467 --> 00:08:01,467
- Oh, they do.
205
00:08:01,471 --> 00:08:02,301
Read about it in Woman's Way.
206
00:08:02,304 --> 00:08:03,524
Look.
207
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:04,930
"Slightly younger partners who are into
208
00:08:04,930 --> 00:08:06,470
"new age stuff like
pleasing their other partner
209
00:08:06,474 --> 00:08:07,314
"for nothing in return."
210
00:08:07,307 --> 00:08:08,137
Good read.
211
00:08:09,420 --> 00:08:11,130
- So you weren't actually dead.
212
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:13,430
- No.
213
00:08:14,550 --> 00:08:15,380
- Oh.
214
00:08:17,311 --> 00:08:18,281
- Ha, but now
215
00:08:19,970 --> 00:08:22,460
I realize we're in the Garda station
216
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:26,370
so at the time, yes, I was dead.
217
00:08:26,369 --> 00:08:27,199
- [Bridget] Definitely.
218
00:08:27,202 --> 00:08:28,042
- Definitely.
219
00:08:28,035 --> 00:08:29,245
Now, I'm definitely not dead.
220
00:08:30,330 --> 00:08:31,800
So at the time I was dead.
221
00:08:33,072 --> 00:08:35,182
- So, dead at the time?
222
00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:36,800
- Definitely dead at the time.
223
00:08:38,870 --> 00:08:39,970
- [Garda] But not now.
224
00:08:41,770 --> 00:08:43,110
- Hello, Bridget.
225
00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:46,840
I'm from It Depends First,
your insurance company.
226
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,480
- Oh, he's dead, Neev.
227
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,380
- I'm afraid it's not that easy.
228
00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:51,740
You see, we've had lots of women
229
00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:54,010
cashing in on life assurance.
230
00:08:54,010 --> 00:08:56,100
I'm here to make sure that he's dead.
231
00:08:58,203 --> 00:08:59,823
- And they did it.
232
00:08:59,817 --> 00:09:02,607
Looks like a clearcut case
of insurance fraud to me.
233
00:09:03,552 --> 00:09:05,442
(daunting music)
234
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:06,270
- Would you like to stab him
235
00:09:06,273 --> 00:09:07,813
with this here knitting needle?
236
00:09:07,810 --> 00:09:09,260
- No, none of that.
237
00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:12,490
Just the industry
standard Anneka Rice test.
238
00:09:15,710 --> 00:09:16,540
- What?
239
00:09:16,543 --> 00:09:19,773
- Basically, we show the
corpse a photo of Anneka Rice
240
00:09:19,770 --> 00:09:22,910
and if there's a reaction
in the middle of the field,
241
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:24,000
then they're alive.
242
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:24,870
- But he's not alive.
243
00:09:24,870 --> 00:09:26,350
But let's say he was alive,
244
00:09:26,350 --> 00:09:27,580
but he's not because my Eamon's dead
245
00:09:27,580 --> 00:09:29,800
but how would he see the
picture with his eyes closed?
246
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,500
- Oh, this photo was taken
with the latest technology
247
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:35,390
called pixels, and we've also sprayed it
248
00:09:35,390 --> 00:09:37,920
with the very pheromones
of Anneka herself.
249
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,410
There's been men that have
been dead since the 70s
250
00:09:40,410 --> 00:09:42,040
that have reacted to it.
251
00:09:42,043 --> 00:09:44,233
- Oh, we wouldn't get a
reaction from my Eamon.
252
00:09:44,230 --> 00:09:46,850
If you were, I would tell him
to think of Margaret Thatcher
253
00:09:46,850 --> 00:09:48,700
and his mother naked playing tennis,
254
00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:50,010
flapping around the court.
255
00:09:51,060 --> 00:09:51,910
Flappity-flap!
256
00:09:51,914 --> 00:09:53,584
Oh, lovely.
257
00:09:53,582 --> 00:09:55,132
Jiggly, jiggly.
258
00:09:57,965 --> 00:09:59,645
- Is there a bit of movement there?
259
00:09:59,646 --> 00:10:00,646
- No, no.
260
00:10:00,647 --> 00:10:02,057
- There is, yeah.
261
00:10:03,114 --> 00:10:05,004
- No, don't think so.
262
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,150
- There is but it's so small that
263
00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:09,670
it doesn't count.
264
00:10:09,670 --> 00:10:10,960
He is officially dead.
265
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,610
- He was like that when he was alive.
266
00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:16,122
(laughing)
267
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:17,160
No, he was, yeah.
268
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:18,790
Okay, everybody, go to the church
269
00:10:18,790 --> 00:10:19,620
or the graveyard outside.
270
00:10:19,623 --> 00:10:21,183
I don't care.
271
00:10:21,175 --> 00:10:22,005
Go, go, go!
272
00:10:23,650 --> 00:10:24,550
- So, let me,
273
00:10:25,848 --> 00:10:26,848
hang on a minute now.
274
00:10:26,854 --> 00:10:28,364
Let me get this straight.
275
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:29,840
- Don't look at that
picture of Anneka Rice.
276
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,420
- Why not?
277
00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:32,263
- Look.
278
00:10:35,950 --> 00:10:36,780
Do you see?
279
00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:39,280
- See what?
280
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:40,560
- Bus is leaving at their own station,
281
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,620
now it's heading straight for bury.
282
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:43,450
- What bus?
283
00:10:46,930 --> 00:10:47,760
- Give me a minute.
284
00:10:47,763 --> 00:10:48,933
I can't get out just yet.
285
00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:50,090
- We don't have a minute!
286
00:10:50,090 --> 00:10:51,800
I have to lower this coffin off its foot
287
00:10:51,803 --> 00:10:52,643
and get it into the ground.
288
00:10:52,636 --> 00:10:53,796
Now get out!
289
00:10:53,801 --> 00:10:54,631
- Bridget, I can't.
290
00:10:54,634 --> 00:10:56,144
The picture of Anneka Rice.
291
00:10:56,139 --> 00:10:57,139
- And what?
292
00:10:57,144 --> 00:10:57,984
- The national anthem's playing.
293
00:10:57,977 --> 00:11:00,107
The full forward's standing at attention.
294
00:11:00,109 --> 00:11:03,129
- (snorting) I don't wanna see that.
295
00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:04,119
- Do you know why?
296
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:05,750
Because you poisoned me so much!
297
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,800
It's all out of proportion down there now.
298
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,430
The life raft is huge,
299
00:11:09,432 --> 00:11:10,952
and little fella's on it, he's tiny.
300
00:11:10,950 --> 00:11:12,910
He could be barely seen.
301
00:11:12,911 --> 00:11:14,091
- Okay, work with me.
302
00:11:14,094 --> 00:11:15,094
Talk to me.
303
00:11:15,089 --> 00:11:15,919
Okay, so, think for time.
304
00:11:15,922 --> 00:11:16,762
Having relations and--
305
00:11:16,755 --> 00:11:17,585
- Yeah, that's worked.
306
00:11:18,686 --> 00:11:20,616
- Okay.
307
00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:22,200
Eamon.
308
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,690
I think people were happy you were dead.
309
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,150
- They were just bottling it all up
310
00:11:28,150 --> 00:11:30,140
'til all the emotions hit them
all at once later in life,
311
00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:32,380
and they'll all have a nervous breakdown.
312
00:11:32,380 --> 00:11:34,720
- No, they're all pretty happy about it.
313
00:11:34,719 --> 00:11:35,709
- No, they weren't.
314
00:11:35,713 --> 00:11:36,723
- They were.
315
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:37,730
- They weren't.
316
00:11:37,725 --> 00:11:38,715
- Yeah, they were.
317
00:11:38,718 --> 00:11:39,718
And everybody said how happy
318
00:11:39,724 --> 00:11:40,734
they were about your death,
319
00:11:40,730 --> 00:11:41,820
and they're really looking forward to
320
00:11:41,823 --> 00:11:42,663
the free drink after the funeral.
321
00:11:42,656 --> 00:11:43,886
- What drink?
322
00:11:43,890 --> 00:11:45,470
- The sandwiches, the tea, the free drink.
323
00:11:45,470 --> 00:11:46,960
We have to make it look convincing.
324
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,440
If people don't see me
celebrating your death,
325
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:49,860
they'll know something is up.
326
00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:51,370
- Okay, one drink per person.
327
00:11:51,370 --> 00:11:53,350
No shorts, no foreign drinks.
328
00:11:53,350 --> 00:11:54,210
- Right, okay.
329
00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:55,960
Look, you just stay here and lie alone.
330
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,200
Don't let anybody see you
331
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,840
and if somebody just calls to you just
332
00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:00,364
do what you always do.
333
00:12:01,340 --> 00:12:02,810
- Nothing?
334
00:12:02,812 --> 00:12:03,652
- Perfect.
335
00:12:04,621 --> 00:12:07,451
(Christmas music)
336
00:12:08,843 --> 00:12:09,683
- Bridget.
337
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:13,910
Is the free bar still going?
338
00:12:13,905 --> 00:12:14,735
- Yes.
339
00:12:16,017 --> 00:12:18,937
- I don't know what to
say to you, Bridget!
340
00:12:18,940 --> 00:12:21,810
- Was it, is the free bar still going?
341
00:12:21,806 --> 00:12:23,946
- Yes.
342
00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:25,370
Yes, it was.
343
00:12:25,371 --> 00:12:26,381
And is it?
344
00:12:26,378 --> 00:12:27,368
- It is.
345
00:12:27,374 --> 00:12:28,524
You wouldn't get me a Midland's cooler
346
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:29,350
with a Malibu chaser, would you?
347
00:12:29,353 --> 00:12:31,003
- Sure.
348
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,420
- Thanks, thanks.
349
00:12:34,070 --> 00:12:35,480
- Hello.
350
00:12:35,477 --> 00:12:36,867
I am Eamon's long lost second cousin,
351
00:12:36,870 --> 00:12:39,050
hence the very strong family resemblance.
352
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,650
How many drinks have you had?
353
00:12:40,650 --> 00:12:42,780
Jesus Christ, you don't even drink!
354
00:12:42,780 --> 00:12:44,020
Arrest him.
355
00:12:44,020 --> 00:12:44,990
Wine?
356
00:12:44,990 --> 00:12:46,610
No way!
357
00:12:46,607 --> 00:12:47,597
- What are you doing?
358
00:12:47,603 --> 00:12:48,613
- What am I doing?
359
00:12:48,608 --> 00:12:49,438
I know for a fact that Eamon
360
00:12:49,441 --> 00:12:50,691
wouldn't have bought you any drink
361
00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:52,320
unless he got two in return.
362
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,280
Eamon doesn't even know who you are.
363
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:57,130
And who are you?
364
00:12:57,133 --> 00:12:59,063
Don't take any more orders!
365
00:12:59,056 --> 00:13:00,806
Put that drink away!
366
00:13:00,813 --> 00:13:02,563
- There's always one!
367
00:13:04,418 --> 00:13:05,248
What are you doing?
368
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:06,081
What are you doing?
369
00:13:06,084 --> 00:13:06,924
What are you doing?
370
00:13:06,917 --> 00:13:07,977
You're gonna blow this whole thing.
371
00:13:07,976 --> 00:13:08,976
No one can see you alive!
372
00:13:08,980 --> 00:13:10,170
- I told them I was me own cousin.
373
00:13:10,170 --> 00:13:11,330
I'm in disguise, Bridget.
374
00:13:11,330 --> 00:13:13,770
I'm wearing a fake mustache.
375
00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:14,690
- But what if it falls off?
376
00:13:14,690 --> 00:13:16,100
- Won't fall off.
377
00:13:16,097 --> 00:13:16,927
Put it on with me own spit.
378
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:18,110
- Okay.
379
00:13:18,108 --> 00:13:18,938
No, no, no.
380
00:13:18,941 --> 00:13:19,781
It's too risky.
381
00:13:19,780 --> 00:13:20,910
- Too risky?
382
00:13:20,910 --> 00:13:22,310
What about all the whiskey
they're drinking out there?
383
00:13:22,310 --> 00:13:24,080
I didn't realize what I
was getting meself into
384
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:24,910
when I faked my own death,
385
00:13:24,913 --> 00:13:27,533
which by the way, I didn't
agree to in the first place.
386
00:13:27,532 --> 00:13:28,372
- Oh, shut up.
387
00:13:28,365 --> 00:13:29,535
Will you go home?
388
00:13:29,541 --> 00:13:30,401
Will you just lie low?
389
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,830
- Not until you close this free bar.
390
00:13:33,830 --> 00:13:35,000
How come I never got to go to
391
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,010
a free bar when I was alive, huh?
392
00:13:38,011 --> 00:13:39,791
You'll have RT News down here
doing a news report on this.
393
00:13:39,791 --> 00:13:40,911
- Okay.
394
00:13:40,905 --> 00:13:42,025
Don't do anything to give the game away.
395
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,930
We're this close to getting the money.
396
00:13:44,955 --> 00:13:47,305
- Ooh, happy Christmas, Bridget.
397
00:13:47,308 --> 00:13:48,308
And?
398
00:13:48,312 --> 00:13:49,312
- Eamon.
399
00:13:49,307 --> 00:13:50,137
Shite.
400
00:13:52,585 --> 00:13:55,415
(disco pop music)
401
00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:58,910
- Right, well.
402
00:13:58,910 --> 00:14:00,230
Your story seems to check out.
403
00:14:00,227 --> 00:14:03,317
Look, I'm sorry to have kept to.
404
00:14:03,322 --> 00:14:04,162
I'm sure you're very busy.
405
00:14:04,155 --> 00:14:07,205
- Oh, that's okay, detective.
406
00:14:08,099 --> 00:14:09,109
Isn't that right, Eamon?
407
00:14:09,110 --> 00:14:10,100
- Yeah, anytime.
408
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,150
Or never again
409
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:13,650
would suit us a lot better
than anytime, to be honest.
410
00:14:13,650 --> 00:14:15,100
- Just one more thing.
411
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,620
Tell me about the safe house.
412
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,830
- [Dolores] Take off the blindfolds.
413
00:14:32,860 --> 00:14:33,850
- Where are we?
414
00:14:33,850 --> 00:14:35,690
- You're in a house
415
00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:37,550
around the corner from your old house.
416
00:14:37,550 --> 00:14:38,380
- And remember you're in the Midland,
417
00:14:38,383 --> 00:14:39,883
so no one can hear you scream.
418
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,410
- [Eamon] Willie.
419
00:14:42,410 --> 00:14:43,830
- Hey, Eamon.
420
00:14:43,832 --> 00:14:44,842
- Reginald.
421
00:14:44,837 --> 00:14:45,667
- Eamon.
422
00:14:45,670 --> 00:14:46,500
- Charlie.
423
00:14:46,503 --> 00:14:47,413
- [Charlie] Ah!
424
00:14:47,410 --> 00:14:48,240
- Any crash?
425
00:14:48,243 --> 00:14:49,803
- [Johnny] No, nothing.
426
00:14:49,799 --> 00:14:52,419
- I remember that, yeah.
427
00:14:52,420 --> 00:14:53,410
- Do you know I don't think I've seen you
428
00:14:53,410 --> 00:14:55,160
since that time you pretended to be dead,
429
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,870
and we went into hiding so our wives
430
00:14:56,870 --> 00:14:59,640
could collect a massive insurance payout.
431
00:14:59,643 --> 00:15:00,483
- Just the tale right there.
432
00:15:00,476 --> 00:15:01,966
Yeah, that's probably
the last time I saw you.
433
00:15:01,970 --> 00:15:03,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
434
00:15:03,961 --> 00:15:05,631
- Oh, I did, Shawny.
435
00:15:05,630 --> 00:15:06,830
I did bring the dinners.
436
00:15:09,090 --> 00:15:11,030
- Remember I said that the
husbands that went missing
437
00:15:11,030 --> 00:15:12,550
would be relevant later on in the story.
438
00:15:12,550 --> 00:15:13,380
Remember I said that?
439
00:15:13,383 --> 00:15:15,113
I did that, didn't I?
440
00:15:15,113 --> 00:15:16,123
- She did.
441
00:15:16,119 --> 00:15:17,119
Yeah, it turns out that
442
00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:19,876
some of them has also temporarily died
443
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,250
and at a later stage, they all un-died.
444
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:25,700
- What are the chances?
445
00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:27,720
And not to frighten anybody in the town
446
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:30,770
that would think they were ghosts.
447
00:15:30,770 --> 00:15:34,150
- They're wives hid them in a
safe house round the corner.
448
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:35,430
- As you do.
449
00:15:35,432 --> 00:15:37,332
So you know, a nice,
quite Christmas as usual.
450
00:15:37,330 --> 00:15:39,940
Not much on the telly either, really.
451
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,430
- Yeah, very quiet.
452
00:15:42,310 --> 00:15:44,230
Just your husband dying
453
00:15:44,230 --> 00:15:45,450
and turning up at his own wake
454
00:15:45,450 --> 00:15:47,040
because he was only dead temporarily.
455
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:48,540
Then you locked him up
with a bunch of other
456
00:15:48,540 --> 00:15:51,810
dead, or maybe not dead, husbands.
457
00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:54,270
I'd say yeah, sure,
not a lot on the telly.
458
00:15:56,058 --> 00:15:59,178
I don't know why I'm saying this,
459
00:15:59,180 --> 00:16:00,030
but keep talking.
460
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:04,720
- He'll get used to it, Bridget.
461
00:16:04,721 --> 00:16:07,061
It only look Brendan about three years.
462
00:16:07,060 --> 00:16:08,580
- Shawny still cries himself to sleep
463
00:16:08,580 --> 00:16:10,250
every night of the week,
464
00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:12,090
but he has a good 40 minutes every day
465
00:16:12,090 --> 00:16:13,420
and it gets him through.
466
00:16:13,420 --> 00:16:15,030
- Willie's in a great place right now.
467
00:16:15,030 --> 00:16:16,970
He thinks he's in...
468
00:16:16,970 --> 00:16:19,720
Willie, where do you think you are now?
469
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,190
- Paris, just before the war.
470
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,650
- [Dolores] See, nothing wrong with him.
471
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,120
- My Eamon will never last.
472
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:27,540
Our bond is too strong.
473
00:16:27,540 --> 00:16:29,520
- Right, time for goodbyes, ladies.
474
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,430
We don't want to arouse suspicion.
475
00:16:31,430 --> 00:16:34,480
And any way, Vee is
starting in 10 minutes.
476
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,310
- Love Vee.
477
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:38,670
- [Bridget] Eamon, come on, let's go home.
478
00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:39,560
We can give back the money.
479
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,200
- You will in your hole
give back the money.
480
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,310
It'd be the first time in 20 years
481
00:16:42,310 --> 00:16:44,180
I'm not molest going to bed.
482
00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:45,980
We're having a poker night, piss off.
483
00:16:48,558 --> 00:16:49,958
- And okay.
484
00:16:49,955 --> 00:16:50,835
But if you change your mind--
485
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:51,670
- I won't.
486
00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:54,290
Bridget--
487
00:16:54,285 --> 00:16:55,275
- [Bridget] Yes?
488
00:16:55,277 --> 00:16:56,277
- Piss off!
489
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:57,110
- Yes, right.
490
00:16:57,113 --> 00:16:58,513
I know you're just hurting, Eamon.
491
00:16:58,510 --> 00:17:00,770
I know you want to come home to me.
492
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:01,690
- [Willie] Ignore her now.
493
00:17:01,690 --> 00:17:03,050
She'll go away.
494
00:17:03,050 --> 00:17:04,260
- I'm right here for you, Eamon!
495
00:17:04,260 --> 00:17:05,090
- [Willie] Ignore her now.
496
00:17:05,093 --> 00:17:06,623
Ignore.
497
00:17:06,620 --> 00:17:07,620
- [Bridget] I'm going now!
498
00:17:07,624 --> 00:17:08,624
- [Willie] Ignore.
499
00:17:08,617 --> 00:17:09,617
Don't say anything.
500
00:17:09,622 --> 00:17:10,462
Don't move.
501
00:17:10,455 --> 00:17:12,945
- I'm right out here for you, Eamon.
502
00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:13,800
I'm here for you.
503
00:17:14,919 --> 00:17:15,749
But I'll go.
504
00:17:15,752 --> 00:17:16,592
Okay, I'll go.
505
00:17:16,585 --> 00:17:17,915
Okay, bye.
506
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:19,040
- She's gone.
507
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:19,870
Did any of you see the mad?
508
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,523
I'm sure he's tied up.
509
00:17:21,523 --> 00:17:22,363
- Nothing.
510
00:17:22,356 --> 00:17:23,886
Haven't seen anything.
511
00:17:23,889 --> 00:17:26,149
- We'd like to remind viewers
512
00:17:26,150 --> 00:17:28,300
that although it's Christmas,
513
00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:30,368
if you're driving, don't
go mad on the drink.
514
00:17:30,370 --> 00:17:32,050
The official Garda Catcher slogan is,
515
00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:33,120
"If you have the car,
516
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,350
"don't have that fifth or sixth pint.
517
00:17:35,350 --> 00:17:38,050
"If you've lost count, just have two more
518
00:17:38,050 --> 00:17:38,900
"and stop there."
519
00:17:41,689 --> 00:17:43,409
- (laughing) What a load of shite.
520
00:17:43,414 --> 00:17:45,154
Eamon, isn't that a load of...
521
00:17:45,150 --> 00:17:45,980
Eamon.
522
00:17:46,954 --> 00:17:47,794
Eamon.
523
00:17:48,748 --> 00:17:49,578
Eamon.
524
00:17:52,914 --> 00:17:53,754
Eamon.
525
00:17:56,190 --> 00:17:57,320
- Ha!
526
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:58,150
- Not bad.
527
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,110
Three Queens.
528
00:18:01,220 --> 00:18:02,360
- Straight flush.
529
00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:03,190
What have you got, Eamon?
530
00:18:03,193 --> 00:18:04,053
- What beats that?
531
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:05,740
- Royal flush.
532
00:18:05,735 --> 00:18:06,735
- That's what I have, a royal flush.
533
00:18:06,741 --> 00:18:07,571
- Well, you shark.
534
00:18:07,574 --> 00:18:09,114
You win again.
535
00:18:09,110 --> 00:18:09,940
That's it.
536
00:18:09,943 --> 00:18:12,043
I'm asking Delores for a
redeck of cards for Christmas.
537
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,810
These ones are far too hard to shuffle.
538
00:18:13,810 --> 00:18:14,870
- What?
539
00:18:14,873 --> 00:18:15,883
Don't do that.
540
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:16,870
Look!
541
00:18:16,873 --> 00:18:17,713
Look what she did to me.
542
00:18:17,706 --> 00:18:18,736
And I only asked her for real water.
543
00:18:18,740 --> 00:18:20,270
- She was going through a
biting phase at the time.
544
00:18:20,270 --> 00:18:21,830
Leave her alone.
545
00:18:21,827 --> 00:18:23,277
- She was going through a
wanting to ride me phase--
546
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:24,140
- You take that back now.
547
00:18:24,140 --> 00:18:25,860
- No, I don't take that back.
548
00:18:25,860 --> 00:18:27,430
- She wouldn't touch with a barge pole.
549
00:18:27,430 --> 00:18:28,790
- Funny, because that's
what she called this.
550
00:18:28,794 --> 00:18:31,194
- Come here to me, man!
551
00:18:31,192 --> 00:18:32,202
And bring your hairy bullocks!
552
00:18:32,196 --> 00:18:33,446
- Ah!
553
00:18:33,450 --> 00:18:35,080
- Jesus, you're right, Shawny.
554
00:18:35,082 --> 00:18:36,692
What have we been reduced to?
555
00:18:36,690 --> 00:18:37,870
I'm sorry, Willie.
556
00:18:37,870 --> 00:18:40,950
It's this cell, it's
getting to me, you know?
557
00:18:40,950 --> 00:18:42,520
- I know!
558
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,330
I have to get out of here too.
559
00:18:44,327 --> 00:18:46,167
- You can forget it if you think
560
00:18:46,170 --> 00:18:48,640
I'm going ahead with that plan, Charlie.
561
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:49,470
- Eamon.
562
00:18:49,473 --> 00:18:50,893
- Why not?
563
00:18:50,890 --> 00:18:51,890
- I'll tell you why.
564
00:18:53,940 --> 00:18:56,500
I'll never forget the first
time I was left alone.
565
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:58,040
It was Christmas Eve.
566
00:18:58,040 --> 00:18:59,710
I was only about seven.
567
00:18:59,710 --> 00:19:02,160
Parents had gone out
for the night, together.
568
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:03,470
Lamp and batteries.
569
00:19:03,470 --> 00:19:05,060
Jesus, they loved each other.
570
00:19:05,063 --> 00:19:08,433
That night, they gave me the greatest gift
571
00:19:08,430 --> 00:19:10,430
any man could give himself.
572
00:19:10,430 --> 00:19:13,410
The gift of being left alone.
573
00:19:13,410 --> 00:19:15,000
The gift of being able
to scratch your balls
574
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,730
without someone going,
Stop scratching your balls!
575
00:19:16,730 --> 00:19:17,560
They'll fall off.
576
00:19:17,563 --> 00:19:18,403
Me mother's here.
577
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:21,290
Or the lavish rush of a daydream,
578
00:19:21,291 --> 00:19:23,851
where one from Baywatch, the
one with the big breasts,
579
00:19:23,850 --> 00:19:26,270
breaks down outside your
house in a Fiat Ritmo.
580
00:19:26,270 --> 00:19:27,620
She's just about to take off her top
581
00:19:27,620 --> 00:19:30,770
and show her huge, ample breasts
582
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:31,840
and then all of a sudden, I can't believe
583
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,290
you left me home from the hospital
584
00:19:33,290 --> 00:19:34,450
and me home with a newborn child.
585
00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:35,960
Eamon, Eamon, Eamon.
586
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,910
To be left alone is no
meant language for me.
587
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:42,320
To be left alone, is a
beautiful, warm cocoon,
588
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,670
where I emerge, a
ball-scratching, tea-slurping,
589
00:19:45,670 --> 00:19:47,100
daydreaming butterfly.
590
00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:49,470
So you can beef if you
think I'm leaving here.
591
00:19:49,470 --> 00:19:50,300
- Ah!
592
00:19:50,303 --> 00:19:51,803
- I'm not saying it again, Shawny.
593
00:19:53,820 --> 00:19:55,740
- [Eamon] Bridget, your hair looks stupid.
594
00:19:55,740 --> 00:19:57,280
That's a waste of money.
595
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,770
I wish you'd fall in a ditch.
596
00:19:58,770 --> 00:20:00,170
As my mother said, Bridget,
597
00:20:00,170 --> 00:20:03,130
you're not great looking
and you have a big ass,
598
00:20:03,130 --> 00:20:04,680
but you're handy to have around
599
00:20:05,980 --> 00:20:07,890
is what I would say if I cared about you
600
00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:09,890
even one tiny bit, which I don't.
601
00:20:09,890 --> 00:20:10,780
So shut up.
602
00:20:13,620 --> 00:20:15,730
Your arse is so fat, Bridget,
603
00:20:15,730 --> 00:20:17,900
you need two communions at mass.
604
00:20:19,023 --> 00:20:21,023
- Okay, that's about it.
605
00:20:24,010 --> 00:20:25,570
- Oh, yeah.
606
00:20:25,570 --> 00:20:26,850
Oh, Filomina.
607
00:20:26,848 --> 00:20:28,648
No, Bosco's not watching.
608
00:20:28,649 --> 00:20:29,539
I don't want Bosco to watch.
609
00:20:31,065 --> 00:20:32,065
I don't wanna play that--
610
00:20:32,069 --> 00:20:33,209
- Eamon, wake up.
611
00:20:33,212 --> 00:20:34,052
- No, not into that.
612
00:20:34,045 --> 00:20:35,155
- No, it's Christmas Day.
613
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,330
We're gonna break outta here.
614
00:20:36,330 --> 00:20:37,720
- No, no, no.
615
00:20:37,718 --> 00:20:40,708
- Delores will be here in
a couple of minutes, okay?
616
00:20:40,710 --> 00:20:42,400
She'll come with the fry and the newspaper
617
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,200
and the clean clothes
and the Christmas dinner
618
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,030
and the Christmas presents
and a few tins of beer.
619
00:20:46,030 --> 00:20:47,200
- We need to get outta here!
620
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,560
- No, lads.
621
00:20:48,563 --> 00:20:49,403
No, no, no.
622
00:20:49,396 --> 00:20:50,226
- The plan is,
623
00:20:50,229 --> 00:20:52,269
we're gonna jump her.
624
00:20:52,270 --> 00:20:54,330
You're gonna put this
pillowcase over her head.
625
00:20:54,328 --> 00:20:55,548
Now, Willie.
626
00:20:55,550 --> 00:20:56,640
- I grab her legs, and we'll all
627
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,580
roll her up in the rug.
628
00:20:58,580 --> 00:20:59,410
- Lads, lads, lads, lads!
629
00:20:59,413 --> 00:21:01,953
Do you not remember the beautiful
630
00:21:01,950 --> 00:21:03,970
balls-scratching night we had last night?
631
00:21:03,970 --> 00:21:05,050
Willie!
632
00:21:05,050 --> 00:21:07,510
You scratched your arse
and smelled your fingers.
633
00:21:08,620 --> 00:21:10,930
Did I say anything to you about that?
634
00:21:11,941 --> 00:21:12,951
Did I?
635
00:21:12,947 --> 00:21:13,777
No!
636
00:21:13,780 --> 00:21:14,730
Lads, lads, protect the cocoon, lads.
637
00:21:14,730 --> 00:21:16,060
Protect the cocoon.
638
00:21:16,060 --> 00:21:17,100
- We're trapped in here, Eamon!
639
00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:18,170
We have to try and escape.
640
00:21:18,170 --> 00:21:19,910
What if our wives need us at home?
641
00:21:19,910 --> 00:21:21,280
- Come on!
642
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,780
Charlie what do you think?
643
00:21:22,780 --> 00:21:23,610
- Ah!
644
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:25,690
- You miss your kids?
645
00:21:28,111 --> 00:21:29,641
(laughing) You miss your kids?
646
00:21:32,330 --> 00:21:35,100
You had me on that, I miss
my kids, escape thing.
647
00:21:36,290 --> 00:21:37,120
Go back to bed.
648
00:21:38,684 --> 00:21:39,524
(knocking)
649
00:21:39,517 --> 00:21:40,347
- [Charlie] She's here.
650
00:21:43,460 --> 00:21:44,570
- Back where I can see you.
651
00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:45,520
You know the drill.
652
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:47,560
- Thank God you're here.
653
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:48,700
Shawny and Willie are sick.
654
00:21:48,700 --> 00:21:50,330
They need a doctor.
655
00:21:50,333 --> 00:21:51,363
Hurry, please.
656
00:21:51,358 --> 00:21:52,368
- Jesus.
657
00:21:52,374 --> 00:21:53,344
Just let me put down the
four fries, the pot of tea,
658
00:21:53,340 --> 00:21:54,590
the 12-pack of beer, and the Christmas
659
00:21:54,590 --> 00:21:57,770
double-issue RTE Guide with
Bibi Baskin on the cover.
660
00:21:57,765 --> 00:21:58,595
- Ah, lads, lads.
661
00:22:00,636 --> 00:22:02,466
(daunting music)
662
00:22:02,471 --> 00:22:04,061
- Did you just give him a thumbs up?
663
00:22:05,150 --> 00:22:06,210
- No.
664
00:22:06,205 --> 00:22:07,655
I just, telling him to hold on
665
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,740
just for one more minute.
666
00:22:09,743 --> 00:22:10,583
- Okay.
667
00:22:18,704 --> 00:22:19,714
- You all right, Charlie?
668
00:22:19,709 --> 00:22:20,699
That's it!
669
00:22:20,702 --> 00:22:21,972
That's it!
670
00:22:21,971 --> 00:22:23,091
- Whoa!
671
00:22:23,090 --> 00:22:24,190
- How did you know?
672
00:22:24,194 --> 00:22:25,774
- It was me.
673
00:22:25,770 --> 00:22:27,160
I wrote it in the gravy
on last night's plates.
674
00:22:27,163 --> 00:22:29,453
- Look, I've washed it off now,
675
00:22:29,450 --> 00:22:31,130
but he wrote it with the edge of his fork.
676
00:22:31,130 --> 00:22:32,770
- Yeah, I overheard your plan
677
00:22:32,770 --> 00:22:34,230
when I was on the en suite.
678
00:22:34,230 --> 00:22:36,340
- Eamon, we told you.
679
00:22:36,336 --> 00:22:37,166
We don't have an en suite.
680
00:22:37,169 --> 00:22:38,049
That's a record player.
681
00:22:38,050 --> 00:22:39,950
- I tried listening to
Filomena Bailey's famous hits
682
00:22:39,950 --> 00:22:41,390
and got hit in the face with your shite.
683
00:22:41,390 --> 00:22:42,840
- Oh, get over it.
684
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:43,890
- And Bridget caved.
685
00:22:43,890 --> 00:22:45,570
Came to us, said she was lonely.
686
00:22:45,566 --> 00:22:49,266
(laughing obnoxiously)
687
00:22:49,270 --> 00:22:50,730
Naturally, we all laughed at her too,
688
00:22:50,730 --> 00:22:53,160
but she reminded us that
it was Christmas and--
689
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:54,400
- But what is Christmas?
690
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,510
If not a time for being with those who,
691
00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:59,180
maybe you don't love, but gotten used to
692
00:22:59,180 --> 00:23:00,380
over the years?
693
00:23:01,993 --> 00:23:02,973
- Aww.
694
00:23:02,970 --> 00:23:04,360
- Delores.
695
00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:06,290
Things are going to get better.
696
00:23:06,290 --> 00:23:08,840
Being in here, I realized
how much I've missed you.
697
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:10,350
I don't want you to be alone at Christmas
698
00:23:10,350 --> 00:23:12,870
and if anyone's going to
scratch your athlete's foot,
699
00:23:12,870 --> 00:23:14,020
it's gonna be me, okay?
700
00:23:14,890 --> 00:23:17,880
- No one can roll my pie
cream in the way you do.
701
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:18,710
No one.
702
00:23:19,890 --> 00:23:22,230
- This is going to be the
making up, Eamon, I know it.
703
00:23:22,230 --> 00:23:25,100
The few days apart will
do us a world of good.
704
00:23:25,098 --> 00:23:26,148
It's over.
705
00:23:26,151 --> 00:23:27,791
Let's go home.
706
00:23:27,788 --> 00:23:28,788
- No.
707
00:23:28,785 --> 00:23:29,785
- What?
708
00:23:29,792 --> 00:23:31,502
Get your fat arse out
that door to those kids
709
00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:33,170
who can't be alone at Christmas!
710
00:23:34,150 --> 00:23:35,050
- I was happy dead
711
00:23:36,106 --> 00:23:38,056
and you had to go lonely on me.
712
00:23:38,060 --> 00:23:39,790
I want to stay dead.
713
00:23:39,785 --> 00:23:40,615
- Well, you can't!
714
00:23:40,618 --> 00:23:41,918
Who's gonna pay the rent on this safehouse
715
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:42,750
with no insurance money?
716
00:23:42,753 --> 00:23:43,593
Unless,
717
00:23:45,660 --> 00:23:46,930
I pretend to be dead
718
00:23:46,930 --> 00:23:49,250
and I lock myself in this room with you
719
00:23:49,254 --> 00:23:50,814
forever and ever?
720
00:23:50,810 --> 00:23:54,470
- Well, Happy fucking
Christmas to you too.
721
00:23:56,087 --> 00:23:58,167
- That's the spirit.
722
00:23:58,169 --> 00:24:00,499
Just don't use the en suite.
723
00:24:07,110 --> 00:24:08,680
- I'm not writing any of this up.
724
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:09,510
Go.
725
00:24:09,513 --> 00:24:10,543
Just please, go.
726
00:24:10,540 --> 00:24:13,680
And no more fake deaths.
727
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:14,540
- Detective,
728
00:24:15,380 --> 00:24:17,100
I guarantee the next time I kill him,
729
00:24:17,100 --> 00:24:18,360
it'll be for real.
730
00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:19,990
- I wish you would.
731
00:24:19,988 --> 00:24:21,098
- And just one more question.
732
00:24:21,100 --> 00:24:21,980
The en suite,
733
00:24:22,930 --> 00:24:25,430
I thought there wasn't any
en suite in the safehouse.
734
00:24:25,430 --> 00:24:26,820
- No, there's not.
735
00:24:26,820 --> 00:24:28,100
Have you tried taking a shite
736
00:24:28,100 --> 00:24:31,050
at a 33 revolutions per minute?
It's very tricky and messy.
737
00:24:32,615 --> 00:24:33,595
- You don't turn it on when you're going.
738
00:24:34,755 --> 00:24:35,755
- Oh.
739
00:24:35,761 --> 00:24:36,761
Thanks, Eamon.
740
00:24:36,756 --> 00:24:37,756
Thanks for telling me now.
741
00:24:37,758 --> 00:24:38,728
- Listen, could you not arrest her
742
00:24:38,730 --> 00:24:40,820
under section seven for
wrecking people's heads?
743
00:24:40,820 --> 00:24:42,240
Could you do that?
744
00:24:42,236 --> 00:24:43,066
- Where's he going?
745
00:24:43,069 --> 00:24:43,899
We had chemistry.
746
00:24:43,902 --> 00:24:45,682
I felt my mood pulsating
when he was talking to me.
747
00:24:45,681 --> 00:24:46,911
I think that's why he
kept us here so long.
748
00:24:46,908 --> 00:24:47,898
I think he fancied me.
749
00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:50,570
Don't be getting jealous, Eamon.
750
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:53,460
I'll stay, you go.
751
00:24:53,460 --> 00:24:54,670
Go, go, go.
752
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:59,270
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