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1
00:00:00,446 --> 00:00:02,856
(rock music)
2
00:00:36,730 --> 00:00:37,610
- Where were you?
3
00:00:37,612 --> 00:00:40,012
- Hanging out with the
women of my camogie team.
4
00:00:41,255 --> 00:00:44,005
Camogie, the stick and ball
team sport played by women.
5
00:00:45,060 --> 00:00:48,250
Camogie, it's almost identical
to curling played by men
6
00:00:48,250 --> 00:00:49,210
but it's played by women.
7
00:00:49,210 --> 00:00:51,290
- How am I supposed to watch
Different Strokes in peace?
8
00:00:51,290 --> 00:00:53,560
I have 6 to 8 kids up in the
attic screaming to get out
9
00:00:53,561 --> 00:00:54,761
and wanting to be fed.
10
00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:56,190
They'd be wrecking me head all day.
11
00:00:56,193 --> 00:00:58,783
(upbeat music)
12
00:01:20,185 --> 00:01:21,015
(laughing)
13
00:01:21,018 --> 00:01:21,848
Sick.
14
00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:23,970
You're not going out again.
15
00:01:23,970 --> 00:01:25,310
- Excuse me.
16
00:01:25,310 --> 00:01:27,150
I'm part of the local camogie team
17
00:01:27,150 --> 00:01:28,390
and they love me.
18
00:01:28,390 --> 00:01:29,710
Okay, maybe love is a strong word.
19
00:01:29,710 --> 00:01:32,420
They know my name and it's a sisterhood.
20
00:01:32,418 --> 00:01:34,868
A group of sassy women
who talk about each other
21
00:01:34,872 --> 00:01:37,742
behind their backs and fantasize
about each others husbands.
22
00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:39,120
It's perfect for me.
23
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:41,520
- I reckon women played a
shitty version of a man's game
24
00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:42,350
isn't a sisterhood.
25
00:01:42,353 --> 00:01:43,453
It's a disgrace.
26
00:01:43,450 --> 00:01:44,940
And you're not going out that door again.
27
00:01:44,940 --> 00:01:46,740
Not if I got anything to do with it.
28
00:01:48,286 --> 00:01:51,156
Bridget.
29
00:01:51,156 --> 00:01:52,546
Bridget.
30
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:53,376
Bridget.
31
00:01:57,129 --> 00:01:57,959
Bridget.
32
00:02:01,596 --> 00:02:02,426
Bridget.
33
00:02:06,489 --> 00:02:08,149
Bridget.
34
00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:10,730
(upbeat music)
35
00:02:29,196 --> 00:02:33,656
- Goalie, goalie, goalie,
goalie, goalie, goalie, goalie.
36
00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:39,630
- Cheers to the best
goalie in the whole county
37
00:02:39,630 --> 00:02:42,260
and from what I was
feeling the best gluts too.
38
00:02:43,179 --> 00:02:44,009
(cheering)
39
00:02:44,012 --> 00:02:45,782
That's the smallest lass
in the history of the club.
40
00:02:45,780 --> 00:02:47,570
Well done goalie.
41
00:02:47,570 --> 00:02:49,940
- And yes, I'm not actually the goalie.
42
00:02:49,940 --> 00:02:50,770
That's Concepta.
43
00:02:50,773 --> 00:02:51,793
I'm Bridget.
44
00:02:51,790 --> 00:02:52,800
- Oh, sorry.
45
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:53,630
Drop her.
46
00:02:53,633 --> 00:02:55,723
(screams)
47
00:02:57,420 --> 00:02:58,250
- Thanks Mary.
48
00:02:58,253 --> 00:03:00,243
- Sure, it was no bother.
49
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:01,930
I should probably tell you all
50
00:03:01,925 --> 00:03:06,925
that I will be leaving the
team for obvious reasons.
51
00:03:07,335 --> 00:03:09,095
- [All] Awe.
52
00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:11,630
- Yeah, I've been so happy
these last few months
53
00:03:11,630 --> 00:03:14,980
because I will be starting my new job as
54
00:03:14,980 --> 00:03:17,540
a skydiving instructor next week.
55
00:03:17,540 --> 00:03:19,380
- What are you doing Concepta?
56
00:03:19,380 --> 00:03:20,210
- What Bridget?
57
00:03:20,213 --> 00:03:21,053
- Whatcha doing?
58
00:03:21,046 --> 00:03:24,106
- Concepta, I'm delighted for ya.
59
00:03:24,114 --> 00:03:27,744
No, really I am so
fricken delighted for ya.
60
00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:30,380
We're all delighted for
her ladies, aren't we?
61
00:03:30,382 --> 00:03:33,942
Especially since we face the biggest game
62
00:03:33,940 --> 00:03:36,530
of our entire camogie career.
63
00:03:36,530 --> 00:03:38,510
But I understand Concepta.
64
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:41,050
No, really I do understand.
65
00:03:43,230 --> 00:03:47,350
No one leaves here without a
proper send of though, do they?
66
00:03:47,350 --> 00:03:48,180
- No they don't, Mary.
67
00:03:48,183 --> 00:03:49,583
- Shut up.
68
00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:52,777
Now, it's only tradition
that you leave here
69
00:03:52,780 --> 00:03:55,880
with a taste of camogie in your mouth.
70
00:03:55,878 --> 00:03:59,078
You need to taste all the work the girls
71
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:00,550
have been putting into this club.
72
00:04:00,550 --> 00:04:01,900
Isn't that right ladies?
73
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:02,730
- Yes Mary.
74
00:04:02,733 --> 00:04:03,573
- Get the tin.
75
00:04:03,566 --> 00:04:04,396
- I'll get it.
76
00:04:04,399 --> 00:04:07,649
- I always keep a stare just
in case one of the Marys
77
00:04:07,650 --> 00:04:09,030
step out of line.
78
00:04:09,032 --> 00:04:11,692
- I don't think this is necessary, do you?
79
00:04:14,194 --> 00:04:16,824
- Eat this, it's tradition.
80
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:22,550
- [Eamon] Where's dinner?
81
00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:23,563
I'm starving.
82
00:04:23,561 --> 00:04:27,481
- Eamon, what are you doing?
83
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:28,600
- Sorry to interrupt ladies
84
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,350
but get the fuck out of me house.
85
00:04:30,352 --> 00:04:31,962
- He's so funny.
86
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:32,810
He's hilarious.
87
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:33,636
He does this all the time.
88
00:04:33,639 --> 00:04:35,339
He's hilarious.
89
00:04:35,340 --> 00:04:37,010
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
90
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,430
What do you think you're doing?
91
00:04:38,432 --> 00:04:39,712
You're not a (mumbles)
92
00:04:39,712 --> 00:04:41,002
with my friends and you're ruining it.
93
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,570
- Bridget, you've been
drinking all morning.
94
00:04:42,570 --> 00:04:43,650
I saw two women kiss each other
95
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:44,480
and that's illegal.
96
00:04:44,483 --> 00:04:45,803
It's absolutely disgraceful.
97
00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:46,630
It's disgusting.
98
00:04:46,633 --> 00:04:47,693
I've never seen such
filth in me whole life
99
00:04:47,690 --> 00:04:48,520
when I went in.
100
00:04:48,523 --> 00:04:49,363
- What?
101
00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:50,186
- Yeah, I want to join team.
102
00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:51,019
- Well you can't.
103
00:04:51,022 --> 00:04:51,862
You're a man.
104
00:04:51,855 --> 00:04:52,945
You have a beard.
105
00:04:52,950 --> 00:04:53,840
- Have you seen your full back leg.
106
00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:56,490
Ursula, Finula and Edna,
they look like the Bee Gees.
107
00:04:59,020 --> 00:05:00,200
I can ruin this on you Bridget
108
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,640
and to do with your hopes and dreams
109
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:03,200
and easily do it to your
stupid camogie team.
110
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,120
- Oh, I'd like to see you try.
111
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:06,010
- Yeah, I will.
112
00:05:06,013 --> 00:05:07,073
- Go on then.
113
00:05:07,070 --> 00:05:07,900
- Yeah, I will go on.
114
00:05:07,903 --> 00:05:08,743
- Why'd I say try?
115
00:05:08,736 --> 00:05:09,566
- I said it first.
116
00:05:09,569 --> 00:05:10,399
- No, I said.
117
00:05:10,402 --> 00:05:11,392
- No, I said it first.
(mumbles)
118
00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:13,144
- You said you were gonna ruin my.
119
00:05:13,136 --> 00:05:13,966
- My words.
120
00:05:13,969 --> 00:05:14,799
- You said, lalala.
121
00:05:14,802 --> 00:05:15,642
You said you're going to ruin.
122
00:05:15,635 --> 00:05:17,375
I said I'd like to see you try.
123
00:05:17,380 --> 00:05:18,960
- I will.
124
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:19,910
Mark my words.
125
00:05:19,910 --> 00:05:22,290
- Ease up you fucking idiot.
126
00:05:25,448 --> 00:05:27,928
- Looks like the women of
this town aren't brave enough
127
00:05:27,930 --> 00:05:29,970
to follow their sisters into battle.
128
00:05:29,970 --> 00:05:30,930
We'll have to call off the game
129
00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:32,080
if we don't get a new goalie.
130
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,760
We can't put the virgin in goals again.
131
00:05:34,761 --> 00:05:37,281
None of the women in this
town are brave enough
132
00:05:37,277 --> 00:05:38,887
to fight the good fight.
133
00:05:38,890 --> 00:05:40,020
- Is there going to be a fight?
134
00:05:40,020 --> 00:05:41,470
'Cause I have a huge
amount of latent aggression
135
00:05:41,470 --> 00:05:42,940
I'm dying to try on someone.
136
00:05:42,937 --> 00:05:44,877
- No, I meant metaphorically.
137
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:45,740
- Oh, I've them too.
138
00:05:45,739 --> 00:05:46,579
They help me sleep.
139
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:47,600
Do you want one?
140
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:49,390
- No, what I meant was--
141
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:50,390
- I'm here.
142
00:05:50,390 --> 00:05:51,220
I'm here.
143
00:05:51,223 --> 00:05:54,063
I'm here for the goalie tryouts.
144
00:05:54,061 --> 00:05:54,891
Hello.
145
00:05:54,894 --> 00:05:56,934
- Oh my God.
146
00:05:58,740 --> 00:06:00,310
- I'm here.
147
00:06:00,311 --> 00:06:01,731
(laughing)
148
00:06:01,730 --> 00:06:03,810
- He's a laugh, isn't he?
149
00:06:06,012 --> 00:06:07,252
- I'm here for.
150
00:06:07,246 --> 00:06:09,666
I'm here for the goalie tryouts.
151
00:06:10,530 --> 00:06:11,600
- He's a laugh.
152
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:12,860
Ignore him.
153
00:06:12,860 --> 00:06:13,810
- Who are you?
154
00:06:13,810 --> 00:06:15,370
- Who am I?
155
00:06:15,368 --> 00:06:16,688
Who are you?
156
00:06:16,690 --> 00:06:17,800
- Mary.
157
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,410
- Yeah, I'm Mary.
158
00:06:19,410 --> 00:06:20,800
- What's your surname Mary?
159
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,670
- Yeah, what's your surname Mary?
160
00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:25,190
- What's your surname?
161
00:06:25,190 --> 00:06:26,170
- O'Brumhall.
162
00:06:26,170 --> 00:06:28,060
- Yeah, that's my surname O'Brumhall.
163
00:06:28,060 --> 00:06:29,950
- So, you're name is Mary O'Brumhall.
164
00:06:29,950 --> 00:06:31,700
- Yep, Mary O'Brumhall.
165
00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:32,530
That's my name.
166
00:06:32,533 --> 00:06:33,373
Don't wear it out.
167
00:06:33,366 --> 00:06:36,666
- Strange because in the last
senses of the Irish public
168
00:06:36,670 --> 00:06:40,760
I won a prize that said I
was the only Mary O'Brumhall
169
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,500
on the entire island.
170
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:43,330
Look.
171
00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:44,413
I even brought it with me.
172
00:06:44,410 --> 00:06:47,090
- Oh, there seems to be
a bit of a problem Mary.
173
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,502
- I know what's going on here.
174
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:53,330
It's obvious.
175
00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:55,263
- Really 'cause of them have
bushier beards than I do.
176
00:06:55,260 --> 00:06:56,090
- It's how you spell it.
177
00:06:56,093 --> 00:06:57,243
You're probably one of those idiots
178
00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:58,780
that spells it with a double M.
179
00:06:58,782 --> 00:06:59,622
- That's it.
180
00:06:59,615 --> 00:07:00,775
I spell it with two M's.
181
00:07:00,780 --> 00:07:03,760
Mmary, Mary.
182
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,520
- Yeah okay, that makes sense.
183
00:07:05,515 --> 00:07:06,895
- No, it doesn't.
184
00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:09,570
- Oh, well actually
there's loads of examples.
185
00:07:09,570 --> 00:07:10,420
There's Aardvark.
186
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:12,638
There's eel.
187
00:07:12,639 --> 00:07:13,859
Eery.
188
00:07:13,857 --> 00:07:15,387
Llama.
189
00:07:15,390 --> 00:07:16,270
- Shut up Dolores.
190
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:17,170
She's a he.
191
00:07:17,169 --> 00:07:17,999
- Mary.
192
00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:19,612
Yeah, she (mumbles).
193
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,600
But how are we supposed to tell you apart
194
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,640
from the other 11 Marys on the team?
195
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:26,220
- Simple you dob.
196
00:07:26,220 --> 00:07:27,970
We just call her Mamary.
197
00:07:27,970 --> 00:07:29,120
- Mamary.
198
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,780
- First of all we have to see
if Mamary here is any good.
199
00:07:31,780 --> 00:07:33,510
Get into the goals Mamary.
200
00:07:33,510 --> 00:07:34,530
Right.
201
00:07:34,528 --> 00:07:37,108
(upbeat music)
202
00:07:41,340 --> 00:07:42,170
Right.
203
00:07:42,173 --> 00:07:46,613
Let a real woman see how
great Mamary is, shall we?
204
00:07:46,607 --> 00:07:49,187
(upbeat music)
205
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,140
- Sorry.
206
00:08:30,140 --> 00:08:32,350
How does that not hurt Mamary?
207
00:08:32,350 --> 00:08:33,340
- I'll tell you why.
208
00:08:33,340 --> 00:08:35,330
Because Mamary here has tough tits.
209
00:08:35,333 --> 00:08:37,273
That's who I want in goals.
210
00:08:37,270 --> 00:08:38,990
You're playing in the match Mamary.
211
00:08:43,031 --> 00:08:44,501
- Oh, I hope you're happy.
212
00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:46,210
And take off my Playtex
cross your heart bra.
213
00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:48,570
You know I've been saving
it for a (mumbles) concert.
214
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:49,400
- No way Bridget.
215
00:08:49,403 --> 00:08:50,243
They love me.
216
00:08:50,236 --> 00:08:51,066
Mighty mask won they out.
217
00:08:51,069 --> 00:08:52,129
- Too much (mumbles).
218
00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:53,660
They think you're a woman.
219
00:08:53,660 --> 00:08:55,580
- I'll just introduce
them to me self and go,
220
00:08:55,580 --> 00:08:56,710
this is my best friend Eamon.
221
00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:59,160
He's really lovely and give
him a big kiss on the willy.
222
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:00,560
- You know that time
you ate all the asbestos
223
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:02,140
to hide from the county council,
224
00:09:02,140 --> 00:09:03,370
it made you more stupider.
225
00:09:03,370 --> 00:09:04,270
- Yeah.
226
00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:06,197
Stupidlier, brilliantlier.
227
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,030
- Don't.
228
00:09:07,033 --> 00:09:08,003
I don't know what's worst
you fooling all of them
229
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,440
or you wearing my good bra.
230
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,770
- Actually now that I have you
Playtex cross your heart bra
231
00:09:12,770 --> 00:09:15,140
is known for having no
underwire or hurtful
232
00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:16,190
but it's actually under there.
233
00:09:16,190 --> 00:09:17,020
It's really sore.
234
00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:18,033
- God you prick.
235
00:09:19,389 --> 00:09:21,069
(whistle blows)
236
00:09:21,069 --> 00:09:21,899
- Go on.
237
00:09:21,902 --> 00:09:22,742
Get out there.
238
00:09:22,735 --> 00:09:23,565
Get out there.
239
00:09:23,568 --> 00:09:24,398
Don't be marking space.
240
00:09:24,401 --> 00:09:25,471
Space never scored a goal.
241
00:09:25,469 --> 00:09:26,369
Hey you.
242
00:09:26,371 --> 00:09:27,821
What are you doing over there?
243
00:09:27,820 --> 00:09:28,650
You stand like a statue.
244
00:09:28,653 --> 00:09:29,493
Sorry, you are a statue.
245
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,406
Sorry virgin, very sorry.
246
00:09:31,408 --> 00:09:33,658
(cheering)
247
00:09:38,094 --> 00:09:41,924
- Jesus, that is the first
game in over 30 years
248
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:42,970
that we've won.
249
00:09:42,972 --> 00:09:46,502
Only one more win and we're in the finals.
250
00:09:49,087 --> 00:09:49,917
- Quick question.
251
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:50,790
How is that possible?
252
00:09:50,786 --> 00:09:53,396
You know, if we've only ever won one game
253
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:54,840
and we're only one game
away from the final.
254
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:58,470
It just seems too good to be true.
255
00:09:58,470 --> 00:10:00,330
- I tell ya who's too good to be true.
256
00:10:00,330 --> 00:10:01,530
Mamary.
257
00:10:01,530 --> 00:10:02,560
- She was amazing.
258
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,660
Tacked half their team on her own
259
00:10:04,660 --> 00:10:06,690
and most of all ours too.
260
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:08,420
Kept going for their breasts.
261
00:10:08,420 --> 00:10:09,900
- I saw that.
262
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:14,900
She, he stayed well away from me.
263
00:10:15,140 --> 00:10:16,390
- I don't care.
264
00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:18,650
Mamary is great and if anybody,
265
00:10:18,650 --> 00:10:20,690
I mean anybody has a problem with that
266
00:10:20,690 --> 00:10:23,040
I'll shove their teeth
so far down their throat
267
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,690
they'll be able to graze
the curl with their foo foo.
268
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,210
- Oh, come one.
269
00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:34,040
Does anybody not notice
anything about him?
270
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:34,870
Come on anybody?
271
00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:38,560
- Oh my God.
272
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:39,580
- Finally.
273
00:10:39,580 --> 00:10:41,420
- Everybody over here now.
274
00:10:41,423 --> 00:10:42,263
(mumbles)
275
00:10:42,256 --> 00:10:43,396
Mamary dry yourself.
276
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,120
Quick rub her all over.
277
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,660
We can't risk her getting a cold
278
00:10:46,660 --> 00:10:48,040
for the big semi.
279
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:52,730
- That's what I'm trying to
say that her teeny tiny semi.
280
00:10:52,730 --> 00:10:53,720
- Medium.
281
00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:54,791
- Shut up Bridget.
282
00:10:57,757 --> 00:11:00,007
(laughing)
283
00:11:06,814 --> 00:11:08,974
It's not just about quality.
284
00:11:08,970 --> 00:11:10,290
It's about respect.
285
00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:11,120
- Yeah.
286
00:11:11,123 --> 00:11:11,963
Do you know what?
287
00:11:11,956 --> 00:11:12,786
You have the best of thighs
288
00:11:12,789 --> 00:11:14,269
I've seen in a woman in a longtime.
289
00:11:14,270 --> 00:11:16,210
- Mamary, you're a scream.
290
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:19,360
- What about what you got
in between your knees?
291
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:20,190
- Shut up Bridget.
292
00:11:20,193 --> 00:11:21,383
Good point though.
293
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,770
(laughing)
294
00:11:29,282 --> 00:11:30,662
- It's time for the sisters to take back
295
00:11:30,660 --> 00:11:32,130
what's rightfully ours.
296
00:11:32,130 --> 00:11:34,180
- I mean, they're muscular
297
00:11:34,180 --> 00:11:35,570
but they look soft at the same time
298
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,260
- Are you still talking about my thighs?
299
00:11:37,258 --> 00:11:38,458
- Oh, he is.
300
00:11:38,460 --> 00:11:39,290
He is.
301
00:11:39,293 --> 00:11:40,133
He.
302
00:11:40,126 --> 00:11:40,956
Do you notice I'm saying he?
303
00:11:40,959 --> 00:11:42,169
He.
304
00:11:42,174 --> 00:11:43,014
No, okay.
305
00:11:46,387 --> 00:11:49,047
- I've been able to free trades.
306
00:11:50,016 --> 00:11:51,106
Ow.
307
00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:53,361
(laughing)
308
00:11:54,344 --> 00:11:55,914
Yeah, (mumbles) too.
309
00:11:55,908 --> 00:11:57,688
- Do you understand
what I'm saying Mamary?
310
00:11:57,690 --> 00:11:59,290
It's about how men oppress women.
311
00:11:59,290 --> 00:12:02,130
If a man could see things
from our point of view
312
00:12:02,130 --> 00:12:04,470
he'd see how difficult
it is being a woman,
313
00:12:04,470 --> 00:12:06,500
really difficult.
314
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:09,040
- See things from a woman's point of view.
315
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:11,780
A woman's point of view.
316
00:12:12,697 --> 00:12:15,217
A woman's point of view.
317
00:12:15,221 --> 00:12:17,801
(upbeat music)
318
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,280
Oh my God, I get it.
319
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:39,500
I get it.
320
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:40,330
No, I don't get it.
321
00:12:40,333 --> 00:12:41,563
I have indigestion.
322
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,110
No, I get it.
323
00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:44,360
Women, slaves.
324
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:45,450
Yeah.
325
00:12:45,450 --> 00:12:46,430
Or maybe it's indigestion.
326
00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:47,350
Is this indigestion?
327
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,180
No, I get it.
328
00:12:48,183 --> 00:12:49,193
Yeah, yeah.
329
00:12:49,190 --> 00:12:50,020
I get it.
330
00:12:50,023 --> 00:12:50,923
From a woman's point of view.
331
00:12:51,850 --> 00:12:53,350
And I have indigestion though.
332
00:12:56,039 --> 00:12:58,289
(clanking)
333
00:13:11,663 --> 00:13:13,393
- Breakfast on the table.
334
00:13:13,390 --> 00:13:15,290
You're all dressed and ready for school.
335
00:13:15,288 --> 00:13:16,288
The kitchen is perfect.
336
00:13:16,291 --> 00:13:17,601
Who did this to you?
337
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:18,837
- [Eamon] I did.
338
00:13:18,843 --> 00:13:21,383
(screaming)
339
00:13:21,380 --> 00:13:23,960
(upbeat music)
340
00:13:27,218 --> 00:13:29,548
(screaming)
341
00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:32,230
Sorry I did.
342
00:13:32,230 --> 00:13:33,940
I have terrible indigestion.
343
00:13:33,941 --> 00:13:34,771
- Why?
344
00:13:34,774 --> 00:13:35,614
- Why?
345
00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:37,137
Because you're not just
some simple housewife,
346
00:13:37,140 --> 00:13:38,310
you're a woman.
347
00:13:38,310 --> 00:13:39,610
A woman who hurts, who laughs,
348
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:42,050
who cries, who fries food each day
349
00:13:42,050 --> 00:13:44,990
under the impressive regime of me, man.
350
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:46,660
- Did you (mumbles).
351
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:47,780
You're going to have to
get your stomach pumped.
352
00:13:47,780 --> 00:13:48,760
Forget your coat.
353
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,950
- The only I'm pumped
with is the deep rage,
354
00:13:50,950 --> 00:13:54,190
a rage so deep I don't even
know how I'm gonna begin
355
00:13:54,190 --> 00:13:55,270
to make it up to you.
356
00:13:55,270 --> 00:13:57,980
- I'll take a bit of
deep rage if it's gone.
357
00:13:57,980 --> 00:13:58,810
- Sure.
358
00:13:58,813 --> 00:13:59,663
Take a seat first.
359
00:13:59,660 --> 00:14:01,660
I'll bring you over some breakfast love.
360
00:14:05,034 --> 00:14:07,614
- [Announcer] And here
is your host Gay Byrne.
361
00:14:09,460 --> 00:14:10,290
- Time for tea.
362
00:14:10,293 --> 00:14:12,073
- No, you stay there love.
363
00:14:12,070 --> 00:14:12,950
I'll go get the tea.
364
00:14:12,950 --> 00:14:13,780
- Who you talking to?
365
00:14:13,783 --> 00:14:15,313
- It's okay love.
366
00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:16,153
- What?
367
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:16,976
Me.
368
00:14:16,979 --> 00:14:17,809
(mumbles)
369
00:14:17,812 --> 00:14:18,652
Are you feeling okay?
370
00:14:18,645 --> 00:14:20,265
- What do you mean?
371
00:14:20,273 --> 00:14:21,353
- What do I mean?
372
00:14:21,350 --> 00:14:22,730
I always make the tea when
the sick people come on
373
00:14:22,730 --> 00:14:23,560
the late late.
374
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:24,943
Are you trying to poison me again?
375
00:14:24,938 --> 00:14:25,808
Oh I'm not going to forfeit.
376
00:14:25,810 --> 00:14:26,920
Not this time Eamon.
377
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,080
No, I'm not.
378
00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:32,230
- Bridget, can a person not
make another person a cup of tea
379
00:14:32,230 --> 00:14:35,180
without that person questioning
this person suspiciously?
380
00:14:36,030 --> 00:14:37,500
- I am not a person.
381
00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:38,940
I'm your wife.
382
00:14:38,940 --> 00:14:40,930
- Oh, you are a person Bridget.
383
00:14:40,930 --> 00:14:42,540
You're not just some badly dressed big ass
384
00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:43,370
narrow minded housewife.
385
00:14:43,373 --> 00:14:44,703
I realize that now.
386
00:14:44,697 --> 00:14:45,827
So, you sit here.
387
00:14:45,832 --> 00:14:46,772
I'll get the tea.
388
00:14:46,773 --> 00:14:47,953
Okay.
389
00:14:47,950 --> 00:14:52,900
Oh, I just nipped out today
and bought you some jammy pads.
390
00:14:52,900 --> 00:14:54,980
I noticed you were running low.
391
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:57,870
I just took one there.
392
00:14:57,870 --> 00:14:58,970
I hope you don't mind.
393
00:15:04,943 --> 00:15:07,573
(upbeat music)
394
00:15:07,570 --> 00:15:09,690
Bridget would you like
a drinks or some nuts?
395
00:15:09,690 --> 00:15:11,160
- We have enough nuts.
396
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,500
Thank you very much.
397
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:15,120
Now piss off back to your
crummy little shame house.
398
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,560
- No, I'm grand.
399
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:19,790
Thanks.
400
00:15:19,790 --> 00:15:22,180
- Mary, you seem a bit aggressive.
401
00:15:22,180 --> 00:15:24,330
Would you like me to
catch you a (mumbles).
402
00:15:27,976 --> 00:15:31,226
I want my sexual liberty
and gender independence.
403
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:32,060
I don't think--
404
00:15:32,063 --> 00:15:33,023
- We have any of that.
405
00:15:33,020 --> 00:15:35,200
But about the match I
was thinking I could play
406
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,660
a more full forward role in the semi.
407
00:15:37,660 --> 00:15:39,010
Just a little.
408
00:15:39,011 --> 00:15:41,991
- It's a great idea Bridget.
409
00:15:41,986 --> 00:15:43,876
- Yeah, whatever Eamon.
410
00:15:48,007 --> 00:15:49,507
- Men.
411
00:15:49,510 --> 00:15:53,730
Can't live with them but can kill them.
412
00:15:53,731 --> 00:15:55,981
(laughing)
413
00:16:02,750 --> 00:16:05,000
- Did you say you can kill them?
414
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:05,827
- Yeah.
415
00:16:05,830 --> 00:16:08,830
(laughing)
416
00:16:08,830 --> 00:16:11,230
- Like kill them like you
can legally kill them.
417
00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:14,370
- Not legally, no.
418
00:16:14,370 --> 00:16:16,380
But imagine doing it, it's funny right.
419
00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:18,626
(laughing)
420
00:16:24,069 --> 00:16:28,049
- Anyway, about the match.
421
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:30,343
- I got to shoot off.
422
00:16:30,336 --> 00:16:32,586
(laughing)
423
00:16:35,589 --> 00:16:36,519
- That's not weird.
424
00:16:36,524 --> 00:16:37,724
That's not weird.
425
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:38,640
She's my best friend.
426
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,280
It's not weird at all.
427
00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:42,565
Yes.
428
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:43,398
No.
429
00:16:43,401 --> 00:16:44,231
Left a bit.
430
00:16:44,234 --> 00:16:45,074
Right.
431
00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:45,967
My left.
432
00:16:45,970 --> 00:16:47,190
Okay, right.
433
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:50,550
Yes lovely.
434
00:16:50,553 --> 00:16:51,393
Okay.
435
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:52,216
That was great.
436
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:53,059
Eamon thank you very much.
437
00:16:53,060 --> 00:16:56,780
Oh my God, you have never
ever done that to me before.
438
00:16:56,780 --> 00:16:58,310
Oh, there was that time
you got very frisky
439
00:16:58,310 --> 00:16:59,270
when I put on your mother's nighty.
440
00:16:59,270 --> 00:17:00,100
No sorry.
441
00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:01,303
You put on your mother's.
442
00:17:04,667 --> 00:17:05,497
Are you crying?
443
00:17:07,577 --> 00:17:11,337
- I just feel so connected
to you right now.
444
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:14,170
I really like it.
445
00:17:14,171 --> 00:17:15,001
(mumbles)
446
00:17:15,004 --> 00:17:15,844
- A drink.
447
00:17:15,837 --> 00:17:17,017
Do you want me to call Frank?
448
00:17:17,019 --> 00:17:17,989
- A cuddle.
449
00:17:17,990 --> 00:17:19,140
- A what?
450
00:17:19,140 --> 00:17:20,810
- Hold me Bridget.
451
00:17:20,810 --> 00:17:22,230
- Hold you.
452
00:17:28,870 --> 00:17:30,060
No, I don't like it.
453
00:17:32,020 --> 00:17:33,960
- Bridget, what's wrong?
454
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,620
Tell me how you're feeling.
455
00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:37,760
- I don't like it.
456
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,047
I can't take you cleaning the house
457
00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:39,930
and doing a better job than me.
458
00:17:39,930 --> 00:17:41,610
I can't take you spending
time with those kids.
459
00:17:41,610 --> 00:17:44,260
And I can't taking you
wanting to cuddle after sex
460
00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:45,090
and crying.
461
00:17:45,093 --> 00:17:46,103
You big funny!
462
00:17:54,412 --> 00:17:55,252
- I'm okay.
463
00:17:55,245 --> 00:17:56,075
I'm okay.
464
00:17:56,078 --> 00:17:56,908
I'm okay.
465
00:17:56,911 --> 00:17:57,741
I'm okay.
466
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:58,584
I'm okay.
467
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,220
I'm fine just give me two minutes.
468
00:18:02,220 --> 00:18:03,470
Just give me two minutes.
469
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:05,990
- Do you want a hot water bottle?
470
00:18:05,987 --> 00:18:07,497
- Yeah.
471
00:18:07,498 --> 00:18:11,078
Can I get some chocolate,
maybe a magazine?
472
00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:18,060
- This ends today or tomorrow.
473
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,970
- Oh God, what am I like?
474
00:18:22,973 --> 00:18:24,313
What am I like?
475
00:18:25,618 --> 00:18:28,138
(mumbles)
476
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:31,010
- Oh, it's nice to talk to
people who actually care
477
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,520
about what you're saying.
478
00:18:32,524 --> 00:18:34,354
You know, I try talking
to Bridget about it.
479
00:18:34,350 --> 00:18:36,350
She said, "I hate seeing people crying."
480
00:18:37,782 --> 00:18:39,812
And then she called me a funny.
481
00:18:40,785 --> 00:18:41,615
- What a bitch.
482
00:18:41,618 --> 00:18:43,418
- I never liked here.
483
00:18:43,420 --> 00:18:44,250
- Who's Bridget?
484
00:18:45,710 --> 00:18:46,540
- I'm Bridget.
485
00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:47,823
Don't listen to any of that shit.
486
00:18:47,820 --> 00:18:50,470
There's something you need
to know about your Mamary.
487
00:18:53,469 --> 00:18:56,179
Mamary is not the Mamary
you think Mamary is.
488
00:18:56,181 --> 00:18:59,321
Mamary is my husband.
489
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,070
- That's okay Bridget.
490
00:19:01,070 --> 00:19:03,450
Sure Mary Mulloney and Mary
Morrisey have been together
491
00:19:03,450 --> 00:19:06,100
since Mary Morrisey broke
it off with her (mumbles).
492
00:19:06,098 --> 00:19:07,138
- What?
493
00:19:07,140 --> 00:19:08,050
No.
494
00:19:08,049 --> 00:19:09,379
- Mamary is my husband.
495
00:19:09,380 --> 00:19:10,630
Mamary is M.
496
00:19:10,630 --> 00:19:11,730
Mamary is a man.
497
00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:13,450
Look, I'll prove it.
498
00:19:15,940 --> 00:19:18,110
Okay, you're going to have
to go a little bit closer.
499
00:19:19,430 --> 00:19:20,900
Okay, a little bit closer.
500
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,950
Okay, maybe just a little bit closer.
501
00:19:24,950 --> 00:19:27,950
- Jesus Bridget, it's
you I feel sorry for.
502
00:19:28,990 --> 00:19:30,010
- Thanks Mary.
503
00:19:30,010 --> 00:19:32,150
- No, it's you I feel sorry for
504
00:19:32,150 --> 00:19:35,530
and not because of your husband's
teeny, tiny micro penis.
505
00:19:35,530 --> 00:19:36,590
- Can I just interject here please?
506
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:37,723
Right.
507
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,870
The chamber is much
bigger than the barrel.
508
00:19:40,870 --> 00:19:42,990
So say the chamber is
where the testicles are,
509
00:19:42,990 --> 00:19:46,340
the bullets per say and
the barrel is the penis.
510
00:19:46,340 --> 00:19:47,480
Why am I explaining this again?
511
00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:49,387
- I've known all along.
512
00:19:49,390 --> 00:19:51,040
- You have the same problem.
513
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:51,870
- No.
514
00:19:51,873 --> 00:19:56,503
I've known all along
that Mamary was a man.
515
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:59,180
It's all been part of my plan.
516
00:19:59,180 --> 00:20:01,550
I've just been waiting
for a couple stupid enough
517
00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:02,380
to fall for it.
518
00:20:02,383 --> 00:20:03,883
- We're part of a plan?
519
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:04,710
Great.
520
00:20:04,713 --> 00:20:05,933
What's the plan?
521
00:20:05,930 --> 00:20:08,610
- We're going to shoot Eamon
and then tie his dead body
522
00:20:08,610 --> 00:20:11,800
to the goal post for everyone to see.
523
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,390
If no one will pay attention
to our camogie team,
524
00:20:14,387 --> 00:20:15,907
I make them.
525
00:20:17,070 --> 00:20:18,220
- Could you not just get better at it?
526
00:20:18,220 --> 00:20:20,240
- What would you know about camogie Eamon?
527
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:21,300
You're a man.
528
00:20:21,296 --> 00:20:24,416
Well, after seeing that we're not so sure.
529
00:20:24,420 --> 00:20:27,380
(laughing)
530
00:20:27,383 --> 00:20:28,713
- I'm not explaining this again.
531
00:20:28,708 --> 00:20:30,668
- Say goodbye Bridget.
532
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:32,550
- Bye Eamon.
533
00:20:32,553 --> 00:20:35,153
No about the (mumbles), I say
we could try short puck out,
534
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:35,980
triple punch.
535
00:20:35,983 --> 00:20:37,443
- Tie him up.
536
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:38,270
- No, no.
537
00:20:38,273 --> 00:20:39,323
No, you should try that short puck out.
538
00:20:39,315 --> 00:20:41,075
You should try that short puck out.
539
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,650
- This is our stand.
540
00:20:45,650 --> 00:20:48,420
He is a small sacrifice to
pay for what our sisters
541
00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:51,751
have had to put up with
for thousands of years.
542
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,210
Any last words man?
543
00:20:54,210 --> 00:20:55,420
- What?
544
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:57,550
- Any last words?
545
00:20:57,550 --> 00:20:59,000
- I don't know any (mumbles).
546
00:20:59,873 --> 00:21:00,713
- Any.
547
00:21:00,707 --> 00:21:01,537
You know he can't hear me.
548
00:21:01,540 --> 00:21:03,580
Any last words?
549
00:21:05,310 --> 00:21:07,190
- No, I don't want ham.
550
00:21:07,190 --> 00:21:08,190
Wednesday.
551
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:10,050
What are you talking about?
552
00:21:10,050 --> 00:21:10,880
I can't.
553
00:21:10,883 --> 00:21:12,473
What?
554
00:21:12,470 --> 00:21:13,610
- Last words.
555
00:21:13,610 --> 00:21:15,070
Any last words?
556
00:21:15,070 --> 00:21:17,620
- For the last time, I
don't own a jack russell.
557
00:21:17,620 --> 00:21:19,640
If you've lost a jack
Russell contact the local
558
00:21:19,642 --> 00:21:20,542
(mumbles) station.
559
00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:21,400
It's nothing to do with me.
560
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,440
- Any last words?
561
00:21:23,437 --> 00:21:25,697
- I can't hear you.
562
00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:27,680
- Oh, I'm gonna have to go over.
563
00:21:29,396 --> 00:21:30,876
- Any last words?
564
00:21:32,050 --> 00:21:32,880
- Oh yeah, last words.
565
00:21:32,883 --> 00:21:33,723
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
566
00:21:35,180 --> 00:21:38,410
Tell my children that if
they didn't come into my life
567
00:21:38,410 --> 00:21:41,550
when they did I'd have a
massive (mumbles) by now.
568
00:21:43,481 --> 00:21:45,801
(mumbles)
569
00:21:45,796 --> 00:21:46,626
(screaming)
570
00:21:46,629 --> 00:21:48,799
(gunshot)
571
00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:50,760
- You missed there Mary.
572
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:52,050
- Yeah, I know but I won't this time.
573
00:21:52,045 --> 00:21:53,185
(gunshot)
574
00:21:53,190 --> 00:21:56,400
- I'll probably be the
bass player in Horse Lips.
575
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,450
- No, you missed again.
576
00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:59,670
How many more bullets
are left in the chamber?
577
00:21:59,670 --> 00:22:01,670
- Oh, wouldn't it not
be easier Mary to go up
578
00:22:01,670 --> 00:22:03,040
and put the gun right up to his head
579
00:22:03,038 --> 00:22:04,618
and blow him away.
580
00:22:04,620 --> 00:22:05,940
Just saying.
581
00:22:05,940 --> 00:22:06,910
No offense Bridget.
582
00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:08,010
- No, no, none taken.
583
00:22:08,010 --> 00:22:09,650
That's how I fantasize about it actually.
584
00:22:09,650 --> 00:22:10,480
- Aw, shut up.
585
00:22:10,483 --> 00:22:11,393
You all do nothing but criticize.
586
00:22:11,390 --> 00:22:13,560
You're just like me mother.
587
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:14,460
Mary do this.
588
00:22:14,463 --> 00:22:15,383
Mary do that.
589
00:22:15,380 --> 00:22:17,570
Oh, that's not very good now Mary.
590
00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:18,400
Is it?
591
00:22:18,403 --> 00:22:21,663
Oh Mary, your sisters are
so much better than you are.
592
00:22:21,660 --> 00:22:23,310
Shut Mary you big (screams).
593
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:29,970
Oh no, Mary shot herself in the leg.
594
00:22:29,970 --> 00:22:32,240
She's going to have to go on goals.
595
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,510
Try the short puck out.
596
00:22:34,510 --> 00:22:36,060
- Yeah, try the short puck out.
597
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:40,060
You still cant tie a knot.
598
00:22:40,060 --> 00:22:41,850
You are the biggest bunch
of (mumbles) horrors
599
00:22:41,850 --> 00:22:44,300
I've ever hung around
with in my whole life.
600
00:22:44,300 --> 00:22:47,110
And I've (mumbles) for the
Norland sisters one summer.
601
00:22:48,590 --> 00:22:50,280
I'm keeping the bra.
602
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:51,360
- Don't listen to him.
603
00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:55,610
Now, I know we haven't
had the best preparation
604
00:22:55,610 --> 00:22:58,460
for this match with Mary
shooting herself in the leg
605
00:22:58,460 --> 00:23:00,450
and her botched feminist uprising
606
00:23:00,450 --> 00:23:03,570
but we can decide right here, right now,
607
00:23:03,570 --> 00:23:06,650
that we're gonna grab
this game by the ball.
608
00:23:06,650 --> 00:23:07,850
Run bottom.
609
00:23:07,850 --> 00:23:09,030
Run bottom.
610
00:23:09,030 --> 00:23:10,760
I kick some ass.
611
00:23:11,610 --> 00:23:14,910
Now, I know there's a lot
of body references in there
612
00:23:14,910 --> 00:23:16,530
but you get the jist.
613
00:23:16,533 --> 00:23:20,083
- Oh Bridget that was
a very powerful speech.
614
00:23:20,083 --> 00:23:23,153
But can someone please
call me an ambulance?
615
00:23:23,150 --> 00:23:24,010
- No time Mary.
616
00:23:24,010 --> 00:23:25,610
Someone get that woman some flat Seven-Up
617
00:23:25,610 --> 00:23:27,540
'cause we have a game to win.
618
00:23:27,540 --> 00:23:28,750
Let's go ladies.
619
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:32,250
(screaming)
620
00:23:33,825 --> 00:23:36,405
(upbeat music)
621
00:23:40,862 --> 00:23:42,782
(whistle blowing)
622
00:23:42,780 --> 00:23:44,820
- No, no, no.
623
00:23:44,815 --> 00:23:46,335
Oh no, no.
624
00:23:46,337 --> 00:23:48,097
Ladies, it's okay.
625
00:23:48,104 --> 00:23:50,804
There's always badminton.
626
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:51,750
- Badminton.
627
00:23:51,750 --> 00:23:55,310
You wouldn't last two minutes
on the badminton field.
628
00:23:55,307 --> 00:23:56,417
(screaming)
629
00:23:56,416 --> 00:23:57,246
- Okay.
630
00:23:58,154 --> 00:24:00,324
(gunshot)
631
00:24:02,524 --> 00:24:04,944
(rock music)
632
00:24:04,994 --> 00:24:09,544
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