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[Music]
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[Music]
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you ready let's do it alright yo what's
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up YouTube this is Tony - back with
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another episode if you haven't already
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please like subscribe share take out all
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our hilarious videos we are here today
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on another episode of Habibi crank and
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we are out in the middle of butt-fuck
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Egypt as you can see the snakes - you
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folks out there the show's got success
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look at this look out here look at this
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look this [ __ ] place who the
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[ __ ] would actually stay out here all
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thanks to you is my man big cab right
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here check this out this is gonna be the
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greatest episode of hobble Trevor's
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gonna be perfect
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[Music]
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this is 22 and this is Habibi prank
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perfect tag good what's the sub kept
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going up compilation videos at 9 mil oh
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that right yeah great thanks
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oh dude our sub counts over a million I
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[Music]
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feel like Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic I
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watched he wasn't here we come Leo
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wasn't yelling in that movie he wasn't
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[ __ ] yelling it was a wonderful famous
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scenes that the movie was knowing what's
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math like 2 bucks per do you want CPMs
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dude if we started selling some merch
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man we'd be making more money dude we're
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just [ __ ] pissing away money man [ __ ]
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all I know is my punk ass is about to
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pay off my student loan man
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she's so [ __ ] happy about it I always
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told you film school is [ __ ] [ __ ]
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ok ytu is the only film school you need
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the [ __ ] is whitey you I'm telling on
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YouTube University you could literally
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learn anything on that room and get your
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ass brainwashed too man please those are
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informative you know I can't get this
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[ __ ] thing on and it's too loose if
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you put it behind your [ __ ] like it
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is behind my hair did you get the gun no
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I did its [ __ ] let's just let's take it
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easy today alright let's just take it
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easy today I don't want to get shadow
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band dude you kidding me they only do
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that to [ __ ] losers I don't do that
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to us I'm making way too much money off
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us this is America money always wins
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what about that fat dude oh dude he got
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banned the fat guy got banned from
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YouTube Twitter Instagram he was making
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money saying crazy [ __ ] and they banned
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his ass yeah because he was saying crazy
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[ __ ] he was this [ __ ] fat ugly ass
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guy that nobody liked in a super Red
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Wing ok they're not gonna do that to us
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because number one we're likable and I'm
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too good-looking
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I'm Way too good-looking you're
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good-looking but they're [ __ ] alright
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and they'll take away our channel and
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that's our whole audience at the same
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time content guidelines oh please
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the name of the game is views if you can
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prove your views YouTube won't do [ __ ]
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listen to yourself man pride cometh
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before
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please Amiens [ __ ] like two cars in
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the last hour
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oh [ __ ]
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perfect yeah I don't even know he's a
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sitting duck
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he was [ __ ] meant to be you see let's
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get ready dude
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it's fine it's not I just want to look
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good okay let's go
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work I'm gonna go in
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[Music]
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[Music]
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[Music]
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[Music]
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clap let's go check check you [ __ ]
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ruining everything man oh [ __ ] okay it's
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okay it's fine okay this is this is
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really not a big deal okay it is a big
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deal Manny this [ __ ] temple man the
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guy could be brain damage this guy
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probably recognizes us he's probably
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faking so he can sue us don't worry
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about it
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[ __ ] are you [ __ ] kidding me dude
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he's bleeding out dude he's unconscious
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shut up for a second let me think
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think about what look we're an hour and
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a half away from the nearest town if
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this guy is as injured as you say you'll
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take forever for a [ __ ] ambulance to
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come here [ __ ] I don't have any service
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dude we got to do this ourselves they're
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gonna [ __ ] about that right now dude
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calm down listen okay we can't touch him
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we don't move on we go to the car we
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leave okay and no one knows we're here
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no one can make us to him we got to help
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him do it we got to do something
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[ __ ] listen to me if he dies of a car
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then what huh there's gonna be all these
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questions ask who we are why we're here
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why does the [ __ ]
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dead guy in my car do you want to answer
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the question I'll answer a [ __ ]
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question I don't care I'm not gonna
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leave him in here to die all right
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you're not a doctor maybe he's just
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passed out you'll wake up I go look you
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have a little bit of a headache he'll go
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home to his family it's probably better
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if we're not here when he wakes up right
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are you talking about dude you're a real
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piece of [ __ ] hey don't call me a piece
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of [ __ ] man we're in this together
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[ __ ] you do we got to help this guy I do
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something don't touch me you're being a
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[ __ ] psychopath
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man [ __ ] you welcome to the car I'm not
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a psychopath I'm the only one being
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logical here oh jesus [ __ ] christ man
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will you give me a hand he's heavy
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[ __ ] the tree just watch him why did
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you just [ __ ] listen to me [ __ ]
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[ __ ] destroy my car told you you [ __ ]
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idiot we shouldn't have brought him in
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here [ __ ] my friends with someone like
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you know what I do a million reasons
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this Tony tube [ __ ] has gotten in your
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[ __ ] head
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man you don't know how to love anyone
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but your [ __ ] cell yeah well I love
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my Millions [ __ ] your subs dude you
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[ __ ] cheated the algorithm they're
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all [ __ ] fake I was only in the
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beginning and you [ __ ] know that yeah
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the name of the game is fake it till you
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make what the [ __ ] do I do
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take his pulse to check his phone me
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want my [ __ ] doc dog how do I check
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his [ __ ] fat fingers damn where
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where do I put in the middle of this
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[ __ ] neck okay you'll feel like a
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[ __ ] heartbeat
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[ __ ] I think it's [ __ ] dead okay okay
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this [ __ ] just got real
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oh [ __ ]
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we [ __ ] do this I don't know
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it's [ __ ] somebody's [ __ ] son dude
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this is somebody's dad you know we don't
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know we'd have no clue who this [ __ ]
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guy is maybe some miserable guy in the
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middle of nowhere maybe we did him a
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favor okay all I know is we got
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lightning in a bottle with his [ __ ]
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YouTube thing okay please I'm begging
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you let's not [ __ ] ruin it's a
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[ __ ] bottle up your ass or I don't
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care about you YouTube it's not my
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youtube channel it's our YouTube channel
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okay my best friend you're my only
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friend I need your help please what do
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you want dude what are you trying to say
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man do I really have to say
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[Music]
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okay no this is [ __ ] up okay
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this is how life is made sometimes you
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just have to get your hands dirty to get
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what you want no you don't it's only
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human nature to care about yourself
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it's not human nature to [ __ ] bust
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somebody's head and leave their ass you
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know what men you need to learn the
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value of self-interest that's not true
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the world is shaped by your actions you
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do know your item Machiavelli was a
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failed politician and died poor Jesus
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Christ was humiliated and crucified how
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you doing today boys
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pretty good officer good until now hmm
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you know why I pulled you over no sir
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you're on reservation land next hundred
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miles as a matter of fact you boys doing
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out here anyway so we're just we're
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shooting some b-roll for it for a film
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we're doing be well what is that some
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kind of Hollywood jibber-jabber speak
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English son b-roll is footage intercut
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with our main shot it's just landscape
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images it's just lands confused did you
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get permission from the Chumash tribe
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for that no Chumash tribe are very
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particular about how their lands being
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used we like to be sensitive to it sure
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policy I'm gonna have to confiscate that
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film sir it's no problem I'll delete it
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you have my word I promise
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where's your camera cameras in the trunk
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sir well I'm gonna have to see you
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delete those
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now
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it's it's really messy back there we're
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gonna have to see you delete that
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footage son what are you dummy
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it's not in the trunk it's right here
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our cameras right here that's right sir
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this is this is our camera there's a
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camera we're using that's your camera
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yes sir yes the the actual cameras on
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these phones these days they're better
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than real cameras they're gonna take
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over yeah well I'm still gonna have to
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see you delete those boys no problem
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sort of be my pleasure let me just uh
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here we go erasing erasing you put us
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something those aren't deleted until you
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delete your trash can I wasn't born
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yesterday
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that's Yeah right you're absolutely
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right you know Gordon I do about this
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absolutely so sir as you can see I am
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erasing everything in the in the trash
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[ __ ] I'll be right back from Connecticut
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uh yes sir yes sir came out to Hollywood
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to pursue the dreams mother in law's
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from Candlewood Lake get out no way yeah
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it's good fishing up there every summer
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my dad caught a lot of fish big ones
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yeah he's always talking to him must be
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why you check out not a single ticket
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good for you son your mama must be proud
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she's very proud thank you sir now you
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listen
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you don't want to get on my bad side so
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you're gonna delete all that footage
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because my bad side is as bad as my good
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side is good you boys just turn this
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thing around and get the heck back to
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wherever they're from Los Angeles sir
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yeah a couple of Hollywood boys that's
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good you just get out of here and I
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don't want to see you guys again
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understand yes sir thank you so much you
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have a great day thank you thank you
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thank you
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close to right here poke my hair do we
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just got a holdover man let's get out of
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here further dude further waving turn
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nothing weighs on the [ __ ] dude let's
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get hawk right here leftover [ __ ] wine
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okay fine
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ooh [ __ ] freezing out here yeah no
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[ __ ] okay right here just do it right
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here [ __ ] believe that [ __ ] yeah I'm
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gonna leave the [ __ ] country man
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they'll live in the woods by my [ __ ]
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self
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we'll do it no one's stopping it do a
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Vision Quest do another ayahuasca
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ceremony because that [ __ ] [ __ ] wakes
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your ass okay
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you can't hide from the fact that this
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world is a [ __ ] up place if you tried
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00:15:49,060 --> 00:15:50,830
one ayahuasca ceremony to open up your
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whole [ __ ] mind that's your [ __ ]
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problem your minds too [ __ ] close let
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me ask something I'm so worried about my
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[ __ ] mind
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how your spiritual little video is doing
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huh cuz the last time I checked your
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stupid YouTube channel you barely had
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any subs keV yeah I don't have any subs
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I have disciples we share energy it's
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00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:06,250
different than your [ __ ] [ __ ] all
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right
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00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:08,500
Hey my [ __ ] brother why don't you
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tell me how you really feel okay my
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00:16:09,910 --> 00:16:11,020
[ __ ] brother I'll tell you how I
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00:16:11,020 --> 00:16:12,400
really feel okay I think you've gotten
292
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:13,870
way too soft with all this New Age
293
00:16:13,870 --> 00:16:16,090
hippie [ __ ] that's why I'm blowing
294
00:16:16,090 --> 00:16:20,160
up and you're stuck in YouTube purgatory
295
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this is your [ __ ] really are look at
296
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yourself huh you have a [ __ ] purpose
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man you need a meaningful purpose yeah
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00:16:27,490 --> 00:16:29,920
what's your purpose huh my purpose is to
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00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:31,090
serve and be part of something bigger
300
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than myself
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Oh God even if you did believe that
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[ __ ] that you're saying right now
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which I know you don't believe let me
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tell you that son one day it's gonna
305
00:16:38,110 --> 00:16:39,940
explode all of us here on earth are
306
00:16:39,940 --> 00:16:41,230
gonna freeze to death and then what
307
00:16:41,230 --> 00:16:42,520
what's the point
308
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:44,170
you're here for a [ __ ] short amount
309
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,270
of time do something look at gonna be
310
00:16:46,270 --> 00:16:48,490
better dude don't be a [ __ ] [ __ ]
311
00:16:48,490 --> 00:16:50,350
what the [ __ ] are you talking about
312
00:16:50,350 --> 00:16:52,120
that's more reason to be good if we're
313
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,310
here for the last time you want to know
314
00:16:54,310 --> 00:16:59,880
my purposes huh yeah what one word
315
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:12,469
[Music]
316
00:17:23,930 --> 00:17:27,039
[Applause]
317
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:37,179
he's no redhead visa to traverse and I
318
00:17:37,179 --> 00:17:40,679
mean what's your thought on [ __ ]
319
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:03,810
one suspect wounded detained one suspect
320
00:18:03,810 --> 00:18:05,940
loose in the desert put us in backup
321
00:18:05,940 --> 00:18:06,770
immediately
322
00:18:06,770 --> 00:18:10,200
all right princess let's get you in the
323
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,590
back of the
324
00:18:26,419 --> 00:18:30,110
do you know if it's gonna be on the news
325
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:38,910
famous I bet you are normally we wait 24
326
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:40,350
hours before we presume someone's
327
00:18:40,350 --> 00:18:43,830
missing but this is a small town and
328
00:18:43,830 --> 00:18:47,130
everybody knows everybody so I took it
329
00:18:47,130 --> 00:18:48,840
upon myself to blow out a little search
330
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,770
for you boys looks like I still got it
331
00:18:51,770 --> 00:18:56,360
my body was in the trunk the whole time
332
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:02,610
we got a thing called illegal search the
333
00:19:02,610 --> 00:19:04,080
seizure in this country and we try to
334
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:08,429
take it serious yeah huh
335
00:19:08,429 --> 00:19:12,210
no soon as I li you boys go I get a call
336
00:19:12,210 --> 00:19:15,480
from dispatch an abandoned truck but
337
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:20,190
presumed foul play yeah yeah it didn't
338
00:19:20,190 --> 00:19:23,220
take me long to realize boys had
339
00:19:23,220 --> 00:19:24,630
something to do with it
340
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I got 1 million subs today
341
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:34,570
people love me I don't understand what
342
00:19:34,570 --> 00:19:38,260
your kids are doing today I think you'd
343
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:43,000
like my ticket guy pray wait thank you
344
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,480
God I think I saw that one walking under
345
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:52,990
the influence that's you wait to the
346
00:19:52,990 --> 00:19:54,580
boys there enough station get a load of
347
00:19:54,580 --> 00:20:01,240
this when I was your age I think the
348
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:04,179
funniest prank I ever pulled was go to a
349
00:20:04,179 --> 00:20:08,980
diner put an oyster in the napkin when
350
00:20:08,980 --> 00:20:11,590
the waitress came by I sneezed in it
351
00:20:11,590 --> 00:20:14,530
open it up pretending I shot the biggest
352
00:20:14,530 --> 00:20:17,230
booger known a man then she just about
353
00:20:17,230 --> 00:20:20,370
fainted yeah
354
00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:22,809
that was about as dangerous as we got
355
00:20:22,809 --> 00:20:28,659
and we did it for fun I always knew I'd
356
00:20:28,659 --> 00:20:30,490
be famous
357
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fame fame is a dangerous game son
358
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you can only please some of the people
359
00:20:38,230 --> 00:20:39,820
some of the time but you can't please
360
00:20:39,820 --> 00:20:42,270
all the people all the time
361
00:20:42,270 --> 00:20:46,740
faith and family now that's what matters
362
00:20:46,740 --> 00:20:49,000
knowing that they'll always be there for
363
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,980
you and you will always be there for
364
00:20:50,980 --> 00:20:54,970
them because what matters in the end is
365
00:20:54,970 --> 00:21:00,330
what did you love enough
366
00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:05,000
djay
367
00:21:09,930 --> 00:21:11,790
hope that search party find your friend
368
00:21:11,790 --> 00:21:14,010
out there he could die of exposure if
369
00:21:14,010 --> 00:21:18,000
he's not found I don't want things for
370
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,180
certain you gonna get a whole lot of
371
00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:26,560
publicity for this a lot about this
372
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:31,230
[Music]
373
00:21:33,890 --> 00:21:37,049
[Music]
374
00:21:40,890 --> 00:21:43,999
[Music]
375
00:21:53,940 --> 00:22:00,569
[Music]
376
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:06,019
[Music]
26037
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