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1
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When Judy Benjamin was 8, she told her
best friend her life's desire.
2
00:00:26,892 --> 00:00:29,531
"All I want," Judy whispered,
"is a big house...
3
00:00:29,772 --> 00:00:33,447
...nice clothes, a maid and a
professional man for a husband."
4
00:00:33,692 --> 00:00:35,922
Today, all of Judy's dreams come true.
5
00:00:36,412 --> 00:00:39,484
With this ring be thou consecrated
unto me as my wife.
6
00:00:39,772 --> 00:00:42,240
According to the law of Moses
and faith of Israel.
7
00:00:42,652 --> 00:00:45,166
According to the law of Moses
and faith of Israel.
8
00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:48,245
And you, Judy,
say to Yale these words.
9
00:00:48,492 --> 00:00:49,845
Take the ring.
10
00:00:52,572 --> 00:00:55,564
This ring is a symbol
that you are my husband.
11
00:00:55,812 --> 00:00:58,087
This ring is a symbol
that you are my husband.
12
00:00:58,332 --> 00:01:00,402
And a sign of my love and devotion.
13
00:01:00,652 --> 00:01:02,449
And a sign of my love and devotion.
14
00:01:03,052 --> 00:01:04,929
In the presence of these witnesses...
15
00:01:05,172 --> 00:01:07,367
...you spoke words
and performed the rites...
16
00:01:07,612 --> 00:01:09,648
...which unite your lives.
17
00:01:09,892 --> 00:01:12,281
I therefore declare you,
Yale and Judy...
18
00:01:12,612 --> 00:01:14,682
...husband and wife.
19
00:01:16,132 --> 00:01:17,406
Step on it.
20
00:01:20,252 --> 00:01:21,162
Mazel tov!
21
00:01:31,652 --> 00:01:35,804
PRIVATE BENJAMIN
22
00:03:08,812 --> 00:03:11,565
But I only have eyes
23
00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:14,403
For you
24
00:03:14,852 --> 00:03:17,446
Judy Goodman
25
00:03:18,092 --> 00:03:19,081
Do you have a date?
26
00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:23,041
No, I told your Uncle Phil
I'd meet him to look at his lease.
27
00:03:23,292 --> 00:03:26,250
- You're not going to work now?
- No, I'm not going to work.
28
00:03:26,492 --> 00:03:29,370
He thinks he's getting evicted.
Let me just talk to him.
29
00:03:29,612 --> 00:03:30,840
Okay?
30
00:03:31,532 --> 00:03:34,410
- Thanks for marrying me.
- You're welcome.
31
00:03:35,492 --> 00:03:37,244
Get me a Perrier with a twist?
32
00:03:44,012 --> 00:03:46,651
- Arnie!
- So you did it, huh?
33
00:03:47,932 --> 00:03:50,287
I can't believe you married Goodman...
34
00:03:50,532 --> 00:03:52,329
...when you could've had me.
35
00:03:52,652 --> 00:03:54,882
I could have lived with you, Arnie.
36
00:03:55,172 --> 00:03:56,924
Big difference.
37
00:03:59,492 --> 00:04:00,561
Judy!
38
00:04:02,012 --> 00:04:05,561
Look who I found!
Mr. Waxman, the upholsterer.
39
00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:09,885
I didn't recognize you
without nails in your mouth.
40
00:04:10,972 --> 00:04:14,408
I brought a little something
I think you're going to love.
41
00:04:22,972 --> 00:04:26,009
Mr. Waxman, you finished the ottoman!
42
00:04:26,252 --> 00:04:28,641
Yale will be thrilled.
43
00:04:29,412 --> 00:04:32,245
Wait a minute!
Is this mushroom piping?
44
00:04:32,492 --> 00:04:35,245
Looks beige-y to me, Ma.
This isn't the right color, is it?
45
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:36,561
Ben...
46
00:04:36,812 --> 00:04:38,609
...what happened to the mushroom?
47
00:04:38,852 --> 00:04:42,288
That's as close as you're going
to get to mushroom in Philadelphia.
48
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,365
Mr. Waxman, we've been
through this a zillion times.
49
00:04:45,612 --> 00:04:48,604
I told you I'm doing Yale's study
in mushroom.
50
00:04:49,572 --> 00:04:52,723
I'm sure you could've found
a yard of mushroom fabric.
51
00:04:54,012 --> 00:04:56,367
You want it, I'll get it.
52
00:04:56,772 --> 00:04:58,842
This is your night!
53
00:05:00,932 --> 00:05:02,160
Wheels?!
54
00:05:02,412 --> 00:05:04,846
Mr. Waxman, I wanted upholstered balls.
55
00:05:06,852 --> 00:05:08,683
Upholstered balls?
56
00:05:19,292 --> 00:05:21,089
- Come on, Peanut.
- Where're we going?
57
00:05:21,332 --> 00:05:23,209
- My feet hurt.
- Your feet will be fine.
58
00:05:23,452 --> 00:05:24,680
I just want to talk to you.
59
00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:35,162
What? Want a divorce already?
60
00:05:35,412 --> 00:05:37,448
Darling, I have a very bad headache.
61
00:05:37,692 --> 00:05:41,685
No wonder, you've danced all night.
I'll get some Tylenol from Mom.
62
00:05:41,972 --> 00:05:42,848
Sweetheart...
63
00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:45,128
...it's not a Tylenol headache.
64
00:05:46,052 --> 00:05:47,690
- Honey!
- Please?
65
00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:50,930
- Honey, not here!
- Please, why not? Come on!
66
00:05:51,172 --> 00:05:53,845
Why? Because everybody
I know is ten feet away.
67
00:05:54,092 --> 00:05:57,164
- They're having a good time. Please?
- No, I'll ruin my dress.
68
00:05:57,412 --> 00:06:00,927
- Your dress is fine. Come on!
- Honey, please? I don't want to.
69
00:06:04,652 --> 00:06:06,324
Kiss me first.
70
00:06:21,412 --> 00:06:22,845
I love you so much.
71
00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:24,411
Hi, Yale.
72
00:06:25,932 --> 00:06:28,810
Judy's always been
a good girl. Always!
73
00:06:29,172 --> 00:06:31,481
She made a mistake
with the first husband.
74
00:06:31,732 --> 00:06:35,645
That's ancient history. The smartest
thing she ever did was to marry you.
75
00:06:35,892 --> 00:06:36,722
That's nice, Teddy.
76
00:06:36,972 --> 00:06:39,202
It's very important
for a father to know...
77
00:06:39,452 --> 00:06:42,683
...his daughter's going to be
well taken care of. Don't laugh!
78
00:06:43,132 --> 00:06:46,044
You'll know what I mean
when your daughter gets married.
79
00:06:46,292 --> 00:06:48,089
Anyway, that's number one.
80
00:06:48,332 --> 00:06:49,606
Number two!
81
00:06:49,892 --> 00:06:51,564
We'll still have Sunday breakfasts?
82
00:06:51,932 --> 00:06:53,524
- Of course, Daddy.
- Good.
83
00:06:53,772 --> 00:06:56,081
You can get the whitefish
on your way over.
84
00:06:56,532 --> 00:07:00,491
I want to give you two
a little something from mother and me...
85
00:07:00,732 --> 00:07:02,131
...a little extra happiness.
86
00:07:05,012 --> 00:07:07,651
I guess it's not
carpeting for the living room.
87
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:13,887
That's for the future, not
Lord and Taylor, you little jerk!
88
00:07:17,332 --> 00:07:19,402
Teddy, you're amazing!
89
00:07:19,652 --> 00:07:22,724
It's my pleasure.
Just use it in good health.
90
00:07:22,972 --> 00:07:24,325
Thanks, Mom.
91
00:07:24,692 --> 00:07:26,648
I'll show my mother,
she'll go crazy!
92
00:07:27,332 --> 00:07:29,050
I can't believe it!
93
00:07:31,292 --> 00:07:32,884
Jude, get me a cigarette.
94
00:07:38,412 --> 00:07:39,606
Coming back inside, Daddy?
95
00:07:40,012 --> 00:07:42,845
I just want to see the recap
of tonight's game.
96
00:07:43,692 --> 00:07:45,364
Should I wait for you here?
97
00:07:49,932 --> 00:07:51,126
Dad?
98
00:07:52,452 --> 00:07:54,249
Get me a match, doll.
99
00:08:07,172 --> 00:08:10,687
Jerry, if you call her you'll
screw it up. That's my job, all right?
100
00:08:10,932 --> 00:08:11,762
No, to call her.
101
00:08:12,012 --> 00:08:15,971
How long you married? Anything more
than 15 years, you lose the house.
102
00:08:16,252 --> 00:08:18,971
It's not my rule,
that's just the way it is.
103
00:08:19,452 --> 00:08:21,124
Keep the boat, it's a male item.
104
00:08:22,532 --> 00:08:26,127
Prenups is the only way
to get around this and it's too late.
105
00:08:26,972 --> 00:08:29,202
Give her the microwave,
it's a built-in!
106
00:08:29,692 --> 00:08:32,365
It comes with the house.
What'll you do with one oven?
107
00:08:33,612 --> 00:08:35,648
It's late now.
6:30 a.m. Monday...
108
00:08:35,892 --> 00:08:39,521
...we'll play racquetball. We'll
figure it out then. Can you wait?
109
00:08:39,772 --> 00:08:42,002
We'll be in Jamaica
6:30 Monday.
110
00:08:42,252 --> 00:08:43,844
I'll be on my honeymoon Monday.
111
00:08:44,092 --> 00:08:45,730
I'll call you from Jamaica.
112
00:08:45,972 --> 00:08:47,644
I don't know, from the hotel.
113
00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:51,331
No, you'll be halved at worst.
You're okay.
114
00:08:51,852 --> 00:08:53,251
Prenups, babe!
115
00:08:56,492 --> 00:08:58,960
- That'll never happen to us.
- I know.
116
00:08:59,332 --> 00:09:03,041
- Did this bathroom turn out gorgeous?
- This ass is gorgeous.
117
00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:04,725
Come here.
118
00:09:06,852 --> 00:09:08,968
- What?
- Wait, honey.
119
00:09:09,532 --> 00:09:11,045
Wait just one second.
120
00:09:11,292 --> 00:09:13,601
- Lift your back leg.
- I don't have a back leg.
121
00:09:13,852 --> 00:09:18,323
It's our wedding night. It's not
real romantic making love in the sink.
122
00:09:18,572 --> 00:09:21,803
- It's romantic making love anywhere.
- I know. I love you.
123
00:09:22,052 --> 00:09:26,204
- Let's go into the bedroom.
- We're going into the bedroom next.
124
00:09:27,092 --> 00:09:29,208
Just here. Good, sweetie!
125
00:09:29,852 --> 00:09:31,001
Honey, good!
126
00:09:33,252 --> 00:09:35,322
You're on my hair,
get off my hair.
127
00:09:36,612 --> 00:09:37,567
How's that?
128
00:09:47,572 --> 00:09:49,722
- Oh, honey!
- What?
129
00:09:52,772 --> 00:09:54,683
- Oh, sweetie!
- What?
130
00:09:55,772 --> 00:09:56,841
I'm coming!
131
00:10:08,812 --> 00:10:10,928
Why don't we go and get in bed?
132
00:10:26,852 --> 00:10:31,084
Oh, God, full of compassion,
thou who dwellest on high.
133
00:10:31,572 --> 00:10:35,201
Grant perfect rest unto
the soul of Yale Goodman...
134
00:10:35,452 --> 00:10:37,647
...who has departed from this world.
135
00:10:38,092 --> 00:10:40,811
Lord of mercy, bring him
into Thy presence...
136
00:10:41,052 --> 00:10:45,807
...and let his soul be bound up
in the bond of eternal life.
137
00:10:46,972 --> 00:10:48,200
Amen.
138
00:10:49,412 --> 00:10:51,004
I can't try to console you...
139
00:10:51,252 --> 00:10:53,766
...by saying there is
any justice in this world.
140
00:10:54,012 --> 00:10:56,287
Just be thankful for the friendship...
141
00:10:56,532 --> 00:11:00,491
...and tenderness you and Yale
had the opportunity to share.
142
00:11:01,932 --> 00:11:06,767
My philosophy of life has gotten me
through some very rough times.
143
00:11:07,252 --> 00:11:09,049
Let me share it with you.
144
00:11:11,532 --> 00:11:13,409
Que ser� ser�.
145
00:11:14,212 --> 00:11:16,407
I got it from the song.
146
00:11:27,572 --> 00:11:28,766
Judith?
147
00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:32,324
Just one thing.
148
00:11:32,772 --> 00:11:34,649
If you can remember...
149
00:11:35,052 --> 00:11:38,647
...what were Yale's last words?
150
00:11:41,292 --> 00:11:43,089
"I'm coming."
151
00:11:45,332 --> 00:11:47,209
I know you don't want to hear this...
152
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:51,449
...but you got to get
right back into circulation.
153
00:11:51,772 --> 00:11:55,321
When you fall off the horse,
you got to climb right back on.
154
00:11:55,572 --> 00:11:57,847
Aunt Kissy, please!
155
00:11:59,092 --> 00:12:01,606
Could I be alone now?
156
00:12:02,212 --> 00:12:03,691
I'm sorry.
157
00:12:10,172 --> 00:12:11,207
She wants to be alone.
158
00:12:11,452 --> 00:12:13,443
She wants to be alone.
159
00:12:14,092 --> 00:12:17,209
She doesn't want to live in their place.
I can't blame her.
160
00:12:17,452 --> 00:12:21,730
- Sell everything and buy her new.
- Buy her new? She'll live with us.
161
00:12:22,012 --> 00:12:25,368
- What if she doesn't want to?
- She doesn't know what she wants.
162
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:28,843
And what's she going to do now?
Be my secretary again?
163
00:12:29,132 --> 00:12:33,569
The girl's 29 years old
and trained to do nothing.
164
00:12:33,972 --> 00:12:35,644
I'm 28.
165
00:12:47,692 --> 00:12:49,683
Look what we got!
166
00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:24,322
I've never not belonged to somebody.
167
00:13:24,572 --> 00:13:25,607
Never.
168
00:13:25,852 --> 00:13:28,764
My first boyfriend was
in nursery school. I was two...
169
00:13:29,012 --> 00:13:30,809
...and he was three and since then...
170
00:13:31,052 --> 00:13:35,125
...I've been pinned,
lavaliered, engaged...
171
00:13:35,492 --> 00:13:37,483
...married twice.
172
00:13:38,772 --> 00:13:41,002
The first time, I was twenty.
173
00:13:42,332 --> 00:13:45,051
See, I've been in this room
eight days...
174
00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:49,843
...and it's really the first eight days
I've ever been alone in my life.
175
00:13:50,812 --> 00:13:52,291
If I'm not going to be married...
176
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:55,922
...I don't know what I'm
supposed to do with myself.
177
00:13:57,452 --> 00:14:00,250
Did you happen to see
that movie Unmarried Woman?
178
00:14:01,612 --> 00:14:03,489
Well, I didn't get it.
179
00:14:03,812 --> 00:14:06,280
I would've been
Mrs. Alan Bates so fast...
180
00:14:06,532 --> 00:14:08,841
...that guy wouldn't have
known what hit him.
181
00:14:09,452 --> 00:14:11,522
The thing is, and then I'll shut up...
182
00:14:14,172 --> 00:14:16,845
...I haven't done anything wrong.
183
00:14:17,092 --> 00:14:20,084
And I feel like I'm being punished!
184
00:14:22,412 --> 00:14:25,165
I thought I'd be
filling up my freezer...
185
00:14:25,412 --> 00:14:29,928
...and be getting this new
pine sideboard that I ordered and...
186
00:14:37,812 --> 00:14:39,643
Jessica, I do hate...
187
00:14:39,892 --> 00:14:42,850
...to stop your free association,
but our switchboard's flooded.
188
00:14:43,492 --> 00:14:46,882
So set your phone down
and turn your radio up, okay?
189
00:14:47,132 --> 00:14:48,724
Hello, Night Owl,
you're on the air.
190
00:14:49,652 --> 00:14:52,769
You lucked out. I read in
the Enquirer this morning...
191
00:14:53,012 --> 00:14:54,525
...that marriage causes cancer.
192
00:14:54,772 --> 00:14:56,967
Philadelphia Night Owl,
you're on the air.
193
00:14:57,212 --> 00:15:00,363
About that Palestinian homeland.
In your Bible you'll see...
194
00:15:00,612 --> 00:15:03,285
...that the Arabs had first dibs
on the West Bank.
195
00:15:03,532 --> 00:15:04,647
Not tonight, Del, thanks.
196
00:15:04,892 --> 00:15:06,962
Line 4, have you
got advice for Jessica?
197
00:15:07,212 --> 00:15:09,203
Yes, I do. Hi, Jessica.
198
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:10,447
My name is Jim.
199
00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,808
First let me say
how terribly sorry I am...
200
00:15:13,092 --> 00:15:15,048
...about your misfortune.
201
00:15:15,292 --> 00:15:19,001
And nobody knows better than you
that things can 't get much worse.
202
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:23,088
It's also pretty obvious that
you need guidance, security...
203
00:15:23,332 --> 00:15:27,120
...good friends and a healthy dose
of self-confidence, Jessica.
204
00:15:28,492 --> 00:15:32,280
What I'm saying is,
I think I can help you find a new life.
205
00:15:55,092 --> 00:15:56,889
- Are you Jessica?
- Jim?
206
00:15:57,132 --> 00:15:58,326
Yeah, hi.
207
00:15:59,132 --> 00:16:00,645
Am I late or you early?
208
00:16:00,892 --> 00:16:02,803
I'm just a few hours early.
209
00:16:03,052 --> 00:16:04,246
Come on.
210
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,327
I should tell you,
my name is really Judy.
211
00:16:11,572 --> 00:16:14,882
I just didn't want anybody I knew
to hear me on the radio.
212
00:16:15,132 --> 00:16:17,441
- Macht nichts.
- What?
213
00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:20,412
It means,
"It makes no difference" in German.
214
00:16:20,692 --> 00:16:22,922
I was stationed over there
for 26 months.
215
00:16:23,172 --> 00:16:25,606
UNITED STATES ARMY
RECRUITING STATION
216
00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:28,090
What does that look like to you?
217
00:16:28,492 --> 00:16:29,925
What? Club Med?
218
00:16:30,812 --> 00:16:33,610
It's the Fort Ord Army
Base in Monterey, California.
219
00:16:34,332 --> 00:16:36,084
Those look like condos.
220
00:16:37,092 --> 00:16:40,971
And every soldier gets
his or her own private room.
221
00:16:41,492 --> 00:16:42,720
What are these, yachts?
222
00:16:43,812 --> 00:16:46,690
The Army is the best-kept secret
in the world, Judy.
223
00:16:46,932 --> 00:16:49,765
Looks great, but you don't know me.
224
00:16:50,012 --> 00:16:51,889
I'm not the Army type.
225
00:16:52,132 --> 00:16:54,566
Forget that old brown boot
image of the Army.
226
00:16:54,812 --> 00:16:59,010
It's the 80s Army, all the ladies love
it. All 89,000 of them.
227
00:16:59,332 --> 00:17:01,687
Check out this list of jobs.
228
00:17:01,972 --> 00:17:06,204
There's over 300 jobs, and only
a couple of them not offered to ladies.
229
00:17:06,452 --> 00:17:08,568
Trained killers, stuff like that.
230
00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:12,165
- How much do you earn per month now?
- Now?
231
00:17:13,212 --> 00:17:14,042
Nothing.
232
00:17:14,292 --> 00:17:15,520
Nothing?
233
00:17:19,732 --> 00:17:21,006
Thanks.
234
00:17:22,532 --> 00:17:23,965
What are you thinking?
235
00:17:27,092 --> 00:17:28,889
I'm thinking about...
236
00:17:30,532 --> 00:17:32,443
...my family...
237
00:17:32,932 --> 00:17:34,763
...and my house...
238
00:17:36,412 --> 00:17:38,972
...and all the gifts I have to return.
239
00:17:42,092 --> 00:17:46,608
You shouldn't be saddled with a lot of
responsibilities and decisions now.
240
00:17:46,932 --> 00:17:51,767
I'm prepared to offer you $458 a month,
train you in the job of your choice...
241
00:17:52,212 --> 00:17:54,931
...pay for your food, your housing,
all your medical...
242
00:17:55,172 --> 00:17:58,721
...and give you a 30-day paid vacation.
I'll tell you something...
243
00:17:58,972 --> 00:18:00,849
...with your education and background...
244
00:18:01,092 --> 00:18:03,606
...you could easily land an assignment
in Europe.
245
00:18:03,852 --> 00:18:05,126
Europe?
246
00:18:05,772 --> 00:18:08,240
I do need to get away.
247
00:18:08,492 --> 00:18:11,962
I promise, you'll be in the best
physical shape you've ever been in.
248
00:18:13,012 --> 00:18:15,526
It will be like 3 years at La Costa.
249
00:18:16,452 --> 00:18:18,329
La Costa. That's good!
250
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:24,122
What if I hate it once I get there?
251
00:18:24,372 --> 00:18:25,361
Quit.
252
00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:27,642
It's a job, like anything else.
253
00:18:35,812 --> 00:18:36,722
I...
254
00:18:37,092 --> 00:18:38,241
State your full name.
255
00:18:39,692 --> 00:18:41,683
Do solemnly swear or affirm...
256
00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:45,049
...I will support and defend...
257
00:18:46,532 --> 00:18:48,727
...the Constitution
of the United States...
258
00:18:50,892 --> 00:18:53,406
...from all enemies,
foreign and domestic.
259
00:18:55,132 --> 00:18:57,566
That I will bear true faith
and allegiance...
260
00:18:59,132 --> 00:18:59,962
...to the same...
261
00:19:01,292 --> 00:19:03,089
...and will obey the orders...
262
00:19:04,612 --> 00:19:06,807
...of the President
of the United States...
263
00:19:08,332 --> 00:19:10,892
...and the orders of
the officers over me...
264
00:19:13,132 --> 00:19:14,850
...according to regulations.
265
00:19:22,532 --> 00:19:23,760
All right.
266
00:19:24,252 --> 00:19:27,562
My name is Sergeant L.C. Ross.
267
00:19:27,812 --> 00:19:31,725
And I'll be your drill sergeant
for your 6 weeks basic training.
268
00:19:32,092 --> 00:19:34,925
My job is to turn you
lovely ladies and gentlemen...
269
00:19:35,172 --> 00:19:37,163
...into United States soldiers.
270
00:19:37,732 --> 00:19:41,088
The first thing we'll do is put you
through your in-processing.
271
00:19:41,332 --> 00:19:45,928
While you are waiting in line for your
processing, you will not, I repeat...
272
00:19:46,172 --> 00:19:49,528
...you will not be flapping your lips.
273
00:19:49,972 --> 00:19:52,406
You'll be filling out these forms.
274
00:19:53,612 --> 00:19:57,321
I'm going to call out your names
and I want you to line up behind me.
275
00:20:00,852 --> 00:20:01,762
Abbott.
276
00:20:02,012 --> 00:20:03,081
Barnett.
277
00:20:04,532 --> 00:20:05,726
Benjamin.
278
00:20:07,012 --> 00:20:08,001
Benjamin!
279
00:20:08,252 --> 00:20:09,446
- Sir.
- Fall in, Benjamin.
280
00:20:09,692 --> 00:20:10,807
I'm Private Winter...
281
00:20:11,052 --> 00:20:14,761
...but I think I can be of assistance
in locating Private Benjamin.
282
00:20:15,452 --> 00:20:16,567
Sir.
283
00:20:27,892 --> 00:20:29,962
- Are we at the fort?
- Yes we are.
284
00:20:30,292 --> 00:20:32,248
Time to wake up now.
285
00:20:33,572 --> 00:20:34,482
In a sec.
286
00:20:34,812 --> 00:20:36,530
Get your ass up
and out on the company street!
287
00:20:41,212 --> 00:20:42,406
I never!
288
00:20:42,652 --> 00:20:44,768
Give me 10 pushups!
Knock them out!
289
00:20:45,012 --> 00:20:47,048
You mind if I check into
my room first?
290
00:20:47,332 --> 00:20:49,402
Assume the position and hit it!
291
00:20:49,652 --> 00:20:50,767
Now!
292
00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:02,405
Up! Down!
293
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,490
What is this, hell week?
294
00:21:08,732 --> 00:21:09,721
No, Benjamin...
295
00:21:09,972 --> 00:21:11,803
...this is the Army!
296
00:21:20,332 --> 00:21:23,449
Excuse me, sir, is green
the only color these come in?
297
00:21:25,012 --> 00:21:28,084
Close it up back there,
you meatheads. Go!
298
00:21:28,452 --> 00:21:30,682
Pick it up! Pick it up!
Close it up!
299
00:21:30,932 --> 00:21:33,969
Close up that field back there!
Come on, move it!
300
00:21:35,492 --> 00:21:37,562
Where are the yachts?
301
00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:48,084
- Excuse me, are you a reporter?
- Who, me?
302
00:21:48,732 --> 00:21:49,642
No.
303
00:21:50,332 --> 00:21:53,768
I joined up, but I'm not staying.
There's been a mistake.
304
00:21:54,012 --> 00:21:56,003
I'll straighten it out
when the manager gets here.
305
00:21:56,252 --> 00:21:59,210
Man on the floor! In front
of your cots at attention!
306
00:22:03,932 --> 00:22:06,162
Barracks ready for inspection, Captain.
307
00:22:16,692 --> 00:22:20,162
What's the matter, honey?
Are you a crybaby?
308
00:22:20,412 --> 00:22:21,242
No, sir.
309
00:22:21,492 --> 00:22:22,481
Ma'am!
310
00:22:26,412 --> 00:22:29,165
I know how all you ladies
drool over this...
311
00:22:29,412 --> 00:22:31,880
...this Fonzie character...
312
00:22:32,212 --> 00:22:33,486
...but not in my outfit.
313
00:22:33,732 --> 00:22:34,608
Burn it.
314
00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:48,841
- Your name, soldier?
- Private Winter, ma'am.
315
00:23:00,612 --> 00:23:03,445
Outstanding, Winter. Outstanding.
316
00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:05,207
Ladies!
317
00:23:05,452 --> 00:23:07,249
Examine Private Winter's locker.
318
00:23:07,492 --> 00:23:08,607
Learn from it.
319
00:23:10,532 --> 00:23:13,888
You keep this up and we'll talk
officer's candidate school.
320
00:23:14,172 --> 00:23:16,163
Thank you, ma'am!
321
00:23:27,012 --> 00:23:29,731
This brassiere isn't regulation, Ross.
322
00:23:29,972 --> 00:23:31,769
And neither is this face.
323
00:23:32,012 --> 00:23:35,004
And you look like a clown, soldier.
Clean up your act.
324
00:23:38,972 --> 00:23:41,406
Gianelli's a 308, ma'am.
325
00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:47,646
So it was the Army or jail?
326
00:23:48,932 --> 00:23:51,890
After 6 weeks with me,
you're going to wish you chose Attica.
327
00:23:52,132 --> 00:23:54,123
Don't push me, punk.
328
00:23:54,652 --> 00:23:59,123
This is the most pathetic group
of trainees I have ever laid my eyes on.
329
00:24:00,972 --> 00:24:02,883
My companies are the best-trained...
330
00:24:03,132 --> 00:24:05,965
...the best-disciplined
soldiers on this base.
331
00:24:09,452 --> 00:24:13,001
I hate to interrupt you,
but could I speak to you for a sec?
332
00:24:13,252 --> 00:24:16,642
My Lord! Sergeant,
would you look at this!
333
00:24:16,892 --> 00:24:18,644
I've seen it, ma'am.
334
00:24:19,892 --> 00:24:22,008
What's your name, Princess?
335
00:24:22,252 --> 00:24:23,287
Judy.
336
00:24:24,212 --> 00:24:26,726
Judy Benjamin.
337
00:24:28,972 --> 00:24:32,089
I think they sent me to the wrong...
338
00:24:32,692 --> 00:24:34,125
...place.
339
00:24:34,972 --> 00:24:39,409
You see, I did join the Army,
but I joined a different Army.
340
00:24:39,652 --> 00:24:44,043
I joined the one with the condos
and the private rooms.
341
00:24:47,012 --> 00:24:50,243
No, really! My recruiter,
Jim Ballard, told me that...
342
00:24:50,492 --> 00:24:54,280
I don't care what your lousy recruiter
told you, Benjamin.
343
00:24:54,532 --> 00:24:56,602
I'm telling you, there is no other Army.
344
00:24:57,332 --> 00:24:58,606
Wait a minute.
345
00:24:58,852 --> 00:25:01,241
I don't want to have to
go to your boss, okay?
346
00:25:03,732 --> 00:25:08,283
To be truthful with you, I can't
sleep in a room with 20 strangers.
347
00:25:08,612 --> 00:25:09,567
Oh, dear!
348
00:25:09,812 --> 00:25:12,485
Look at this place.
The Army couldn't afford drapes?
349
00:25:12,732 --> 00:25:15,326
I'll be up at the crack of dawn here.
350
00:25:16,732 --> 00:25:20,168
And I have to tell you,
I am frankly a little shocked.
351
00:25:20,972 --> 00:25:22,325
You're shocked?
352
00:25:22,652 --> 00:25:23,562
Why?
353
00:25:23,812 --> 00:25:26,724
This place is a sty.
354
00:25:29,412 --> 00:25:32,449
Look at these stains.
God knows where this has been.
355
00:25:34,012 --> 00:25:36,003
And have you seen the bathroom?
356
00:25:41,172 --> 00:25:44,562
Do you think that
the latrine is unsanitary?
357
00:25:45,452 --> 00:25:46,680
It's disgusting!
358
00:25:47,932 --> 00:25:50,241
There are urinals in there.
359
00:25:51,532 --> 00:25:53,887
That's because this is the Army...
360
00:25:55,132 --> 00:25:56,963
...it's not a sorority house.
361
00:26:00,132 --> 00:26:03,408
May I see your toothbrush?
Please?
362
00:26:22,612 --> 00:26:25,729
Yale, how could you do this to me?
363
00:26:45,772 --> 00:26:47,490
You could eat off that floor.
364
00:26:47,732 --> 00:26:49,404
Why don't you.
365
00:27:01,852 --> 00:27:03,524
Reveille! Let's go!
366
00:27:03,772 --> 00:27:05,364
Everybody up!
367
00:27:05,612 --> 00:27:06,806
Move it!
368
00:27:07,172 --> 00:27:09,242
Everybody up! Everybody move!
369
00:27:10,172 --> 00:27:11,969
Everybody, Benjamin!
370
00:27:12,212 --> 00:27:15,488
You can't mean me.
I worked the night shift.
371
00:27:15,772 --> 00:27:18,081
Go check out the bathroom,
it's fabulous.
372
00:27:32,812 --> 00:27:34,086
Alpha Company...
373
00:27:34,332 --> 00:27:35,970
...attention!
374
00:27:36,252 --> 00:27:39,085
Bravo Company, attention!
375
00:27:54,572 --> 00:27:55,641
At ease, gentlemen...
376
00:27:56,052 --> 00:27:57,007
...and ladies.
377
00:27:59,732 --> 00:28:01,404
I'm your post commander.
378
00:28:02,172 --> 00:28:03,685
Colonel Clay Thornbush.
379
00:28:03,972 --> 00:28:04,961
Welcome...
380
00:28:05,252 --> 00:28:08,289
...to the Biloxi, Mississippi
Basic Training Center.
381
00:28:08,532 --> 00:28:10,329
The backbone of the U.S. Army.
382
00:28:10,572 --> 00:28:13,564
You have two company commanders
to lead you through basic.
383
00:28:13,812 --> 00:28:15,643
Capt. Doreen Lewis,
a 5-year veteran...
384
00:28:15,892 --> 00:28:17,848
...here at Fort Biloxi,
of Alpha Company.
385
00:28:18,092 --> 00:28:19,571
And a newcomer to the family...
386
00:28:19,812 --> 00:28:22,451
...Captain William Wooldridge,
Bravo Company.
387
00:28:22,692 --> 00:28:25,411
Here, we turn out
the best-fed, best-trained...
388
00:28:25,652 --> 00:28:27,882
...soldiers, but it doesn't come easy.
389
00:28:28,292 --> 00:28:31,409
It does not happen overnight.
You must have the strength...
390
00:28:32,612 --> 00:28:35,445
...the self-discipline,
and mental stamina necessary...
391
00:28:35,692 --> 00:28:38,490
...to meet the standards
of the United States Army.
392
00:28:38,732 --> 00:28:40,723
The next 6 weeks will be the test.
393
00:28:41,532 --> 00:28:42,851
It'll be hell...
394
00:28:44,692 --> 00:28:46,489
...but you'll be glad you did it.
395
00:28:49,212 --> 00:28:50,770
Move it!
396
00:28:52,812 --> 00:28:54,006
Left, right! Left!
397
00:29:03,092 --> 00:29:06,448
I thought it would be
a few leg lifts, a little stretching...
398
00:29:06,692 --> 00:29:08,967
...maybe a disco class, you know.
399
00:29:09,212 --> 00:29:11,806
You're not real talkative,
are you, Soyer?
400
00:29:12,612 --> 00:29:13,727
We run them out...
401
00:29:14,012 --> 00:29:15,570
...and we march them back.
402
00:29:16,492 --> 00:29:20,770
Then about twice a week,
I spring a surprise inspection on them.
403
00:29:21,012 --> 00:29:22,604
That's good Army.
404
00:29:23,852 --> 00:29:25,570
Keeps them on their toes.
405
00:29:27,332 --> 00:29:29,721
- Got one more question.
- Shoot.
406
00:29:31,292 --> 00:29:32,202
Are you busy Friday?
407
00:30:59,932 --> 00:31:01,524
Look out, Gianelli!
408
00:31:10,212 --> 00:31:12,089
I can't take anymore.
They've broken me.
409
00:31:12,332 --> 00:31:14,800
- I'm quitting.
- Girl, you can't quit this Army.
410
00:31:15,052 --> 00:31:18,169
I can. The recruiter told me
quit anytime I want.
411
00:31:18,412 --> 00:31:21,006
Jesus, you still believe
your recruiter?
412
00:31:21,252 --> 00:31:23,049
It's only for 3 years.
413
00:31:23,292 --> 00:31:25,408
Company halt!
414
00:31:31,092 --> 00:31:32,081
Move it, Benjamin!
415
00:31:32,332 --> 00:31:36,211
I don't want to see you stop running
unless you collapse, faint or puke!
416
00:31:48,012 --> 00:31:51,288
I have never looked
worse in my life!
417
00:31:52,612 --> 00:31:55,172
Has anybody ever died from basic?
418
00:32:28,452 --> 00:32:29,851
Excuse me.
419
00:32:37,812 --> 00:32:39,928
I think you took my blanket.
420
00:32:40,412 --> 00:32:43,768
This is my blanket.
You gave it to me.
421
00:32:45,732 --> 00:32:48,724
- I don't think I did.
- Maybe you just forgot.
422
00:32:48,972 --> 00:32:50,690
Maybe you got brain damage.
423
00:32:53,612 --> 00:32:55,284
Okay, I gave it to you.
424
00:32:55,532 --> 00:32:56,965
By mistake.
425
00:32:57,732 --> 00:32:59,927
- I want it back, okay?
- Take it.
426
00:33:50,172 --> 00:33:51,685
Where are you going?
427
00:33:53,332 --> 00:33:54,606
Home.
428
00:34:02,132 --> 00:34:04,600
We're going to have to
do this again real soon.
429
00:34:05,772 --> 00:34:07,763
How about every Friday night?
430
00:34:09,772 --> 00:34:12,206
I'm going to set you free, Doreen.
431
00:34:35,052 --> 00:34:37,202
Captain Lewis, ma'am,
we've got trouble.
432
00:34:41,132 --> 00:34:42,565
My hair!
433
00:34:51,012 --> 00:34:53,731
Benjamin, you are not fit
to wear that uniform!
434
00:34:53,972 --> 00:34:55,564
No shit!
435
00:34:58,572 --> 00:35:02,565
What do you want from me?
I didn't ask her to punish everybody!
436
00:35:02,812 --> 00:35:05,406
You think I like schlepping
in rain all day and night?
437
00:35:05,652 --> 00:35:07,688
Just keep marching, Benjamin!
438
00:35:07,932 --> 00:35:10,924
My name is Judy! J-U-D-Y...
439
00:35:11,172 --> 00:35:13,686
...and I'd like somebody
to call me by my name.
440
00:35:14,292 --> 00:35:15,611
Hey, Judy!
441
00:35:16,892 --> 00:35:19,406
I took my life in my own hands.
I made a mistake.
442
00:35:19,652 --> 00:35:22,883
I'm sorry. I'll never do it again!
I want to wear my sandals!
443
00:35:24,452 --> 00:35:26,522
I want to go out to lunch.
444
00:35:26,772 --> 00:35:28,569
I want to be normal again.
445
00:35:28,852 --> 00:35:31,605
Would you please
just shut up, Benjamin!
446
00:35:31,852 --> 00:35:35,162
God! Never in all my born days
met such a whiny...
447
00:35:35,492 --> 00:35:37,289
...candy-ass as you!
448
00:35:37,532 --> 00:35:40,683
I don't want to be in the Army!
449
00:35:45,812 --> 00:35:47,325
But we do, okay?
450
00:35:47,572 --> 00:35:49,881
We can't afford any more trouble
on account of you.
451
00:35:51,532 --> 00:35:53,887
I thought you and I
could be friends, but you're...
452
00:35:54,132 --> 00:35:56,805
- Forget it!
- What? I'm what?
453
00:35:57,572 --> 00:36:00,689
You're the most
insensitive person I've ever met.
454
00:36:01,012 --> 00:36:02,923
That is so untrue!
455
00:36:03,172 --> 00:36:07,085
I never go to someone's
home empty-handed!
456
00:36:07,532 --> 00:36:09,204
People love me!
457
00:36:09,452 --> 00:36:10,407
Platoon, halt!
458
00:36:11,572 --> 00:36:12,925
Fall out!
459
00:36:20,492 --> 00:36:21,641
To the day room...
460
00:36:21,892 --> 00:36:23,007
...on the double!
461
00:36:41,052 --> 00:36:42,804
They didn't tell me it was you.
462
00:36:52,492 --> 00:36:53,641
Hi, Mom.
463
00:37:01,892 --> 00:37:03,405
Hi, Daddy.
464
00:37:10,172 --> 00:37:11,651
Sit down, Judy.
465
00:37:13,332 --> 00:37:14,606
I was...
466
00:37:14,852 --> 00:37:18,049
...going to call, but I wasn't
feeling very good.
467
00:37:21,332 --> 00:37:22,845
Eight days.
468
00:37:23,812 --> 00:37:25,803
Our daughter disappears...
469
00:37:26,052 --> 00:37:28,691
...for eight days without a single word.
470
00:37:30,452 --> 00:37:34,525
We thought you were kidnapped.
The FBI was looking for you...
471
00:37:34,772 --> 00:37:36,728
...when some stranger calls...
472
00:37:36,972 --> 00:37:40,806
...telling us how fine you are
and that you'd enlisted in the Army.
473
00:37:42,092 --> 00:37:43,969
We tried to figure out why.
474
00:37:45,052 --> 00:37:47,964
Personally, I think you've gone
temporarily insane.
475
00:37:48,532 --> 00:37:50,682
That's what we told everyone.
476
00:37:51,172 --> 00:37:53,606
We said that you had a collapse...
477
00:37:53,852 --> 00:37:55,808
...and that you were in a mental home.
478
00:37:57,092 --> 00:37:58,650
People think I'm in a mental home?
479
00:37:59,732 --> 00:38:00,721
What should we say?
480
00:38:00,972 --> 00:38:04,647
That you're in an Army barracks
in Mississippi with a bunch of...
481
00:38:04,892 --> 00:38:07,167
- What?
- I don't know what!
482
00:38:08,812 --> 00:38:10,564
That's why I don't like it.
483
00:38:12,492 --> 00:38:15,802
How could you do this to your parents?
484
00:38:16,332 --> 00:38:20,689
Haven't we done enough for you?
Given you everything you wanted?
485
00:38:20,932 --> 00:38:25,244
Did I get you a car on your sixteenth
birthday? Did I get you into college?
486
00:38:25,492 --> 00:38:28,848
Did I bail you out of your first
marriage to that schmuck? Did I?
487
00:38:29,092 --> 00:38:29,922
Relax.
488
00:38:30,172 --> 00:38:31,890
I am relaxed!
489
00:38:36,372 --> 00:38:39,011
Why are you punishing us?
490
00:38:43,732 --> 00:38:45,529
Maybe you hate us.
491
00:38:48,132 --> 00:38:49,929
I don't hate you,
I love you.
492
00:38:52,132 --> 00:38:54,726
You know your Aunt Kissy
is living with us now.
493
00:38:55,972 --> 00:38:56,802
Why?
494
00:38:57,132 --> 00:38:59,726
Because you mother's had a
nervous breakdown, that's why!
495
00:39:04,532 --> 00:39:08,730
You were never a smart girl.
We're all going to stop pretending now.
496
00:39:11,172 --> 00:39:15,290
You are obviously incapable
of making your own decisions.
497
00:39:15,892 --> 00:39:19,487
Starting tomorrow,
I do not let you out of my sight.
498
00:39:19,732 --> 00:39:21,131
I don't care how much you cry.
499
00:39:21,692 --> 00:39:23,523
The Benjamins!
500
00:39:24,492 --> 00:39:26,005
Captain Lewis.
501
00:39:30,492 --> 00:39:32,483
It is so good to meet you in person.
502
00:39:33,172 --> 00:39:34,048
Thank you.
503
00:39:35,612 --> 00:39:37,842
Captain Lewis said we could
take you home, darling.
504
00:39:38,452 --> 00:39:42,525
I'm sorry that things just
didn't work out here for Judy.
505
00:39:43,492 --> 00:39:45,528
She's a hard worker.
506
00:39:45,772 --> 00:39:47,922
She's very... popular...
507
00:39:48,172 --> 00:39:50,367
...with all the other girls.
508
00:39:51,012 --> 00:39:53,401
We are sad to see her go.
509
00:39:55,932 --> 00:39:59,766
If you sign here on the dotted line,
you're as good as home, young lady.
510
00:40:00,852 --> 00:40:02,080
Right there.
511
00:40:05,292 --> 00:40:06,725
Here, darling. Here you are.
512
00:40:08,212 --> 00:40:10,567
Come on, take it.
513
00:40:13,292 --> 00:40:14,771
No, thanks.
514
00:40:16,092 --> 00:40:17,764
Think I'll stay.
515
00:40:30,372 --> 00:40:31,202
Mom.
516
00:40:31,852 --> 00:40:32,682
Daddy.
517
00:41:28,052 --> 00:41:29,371
All right, knock it off!
518
00:41:29,612 --> 00:41:31,045
Break it! Let's go!
519
00:41:59,972 --> 00:42:04,124
Welcome to the Biloxi War Games,
the Super Bowl of Basic Training.
520
00:42:04,412 --> 00:42:07,210
Simulated combat will test
your skills and courage.
521
00:42:07,452 --> 00:42:10,728
Captain Wooldridge will lead
the red team. Captain Lewis...
522
00:42:10,972 --> 00:42:14,681
...the blue team. I will be observing
the exercises from the air.
523
00:42:15,532 --> 00:42:17,523
Good luck.
And fight proud!
524
00:42:19,572 --> 00:42:20,766
Fight proud!
525
00:42:30,772 --> 00:42:32,171
Thompson, Hike...
526
00:42:32,412 --> 00:42:34,368
...Katz, Byron...
527
00:42:34,612 --> 00:42:35,601
...Richter!
528
00:42:36,332 --> 00:42:40,291
Your objective is to capture and blow
up Red Team's communication center.
529
00:42:40,532 --> 00:42:42,409
Beware, mine-fields are out there.
530
00:42:42,652 --> 00:42:44,324
Most of them are inert...
531
00:42:44,572 --> 00:42:45,766
...but some are ert.
532
00:42:46,292 --> 00:42:47,566
Take off!
533
00:42:47,812 --> 00:42:48,881
Private Winter!
534
00:42:51,492 --> 00:42:53,767
You'll serve as Captain Lewis'
aide-de-camp.
535
00:42:54,932 --> 00:42:56,684
Sir. Yes, sir!
536
00:42:57,732 --> 00:42:58,562
Team "C"!
537
00:42:59,092 --> 00:43:00,969
Gianelli, Glass...
538
00:43:01,212 --> 00:43:03,123
...Moe, Benjamin...
539
00:43:03,372 --> 00:43:04,487
...Soyer!
540
00:43:05,492 --> 00:43:08,325
Your objective is to
guard this area here.
541
00:43:08,572 --> 00:43:10,927
Excuse me, Drill Sergeant,
what is that area?
542
00:43:12,012 --> 00:43:13,365
That's the swamp.
543
00:43:13,972 --> 00:43:14,882
Swamp?
544
00:43:17,452 --> 00:43:18,805
Take off!
545
00:43:34,692 --> 00:43:37,729
If you can't read that map,
why don't you just say it?
546
00:43:37,972 --> 00:43:40,088
You're supposed
to be the point man!
547
00:43:40,332 --> 00:43:42,243
Benj pointed me in the wrong direction!
548
00:43:42,532 --> 00:43:45,842
- What am I, Magellan?
- What are we going to guard, algae?
549
00:43:47,652 --> 00:43:49,483
Let's just go straight north.
550
00:43:49,732 --> 00:43:51,768
- We came from the north!
- Let's go south.
551
00:43:52,012 --> 00:43:53,365
Wait! Relax.
552
00:43:53,612 --> 00:43:55,489
If we can't get back by tomorrow...
553
00:43:55,852 --> 00:43:57,285
...they'll send a search plane.
554
00:43:57,532 --> 00:43:59,682
We have enough bodies
to spell "help"?
555
00:44:00,172 --> 00:44:01,082
Let's go.
556
00:44:07,732 --> 00:44:10,565
The first time I ever did it...
557
00:44:17,932 --> 00:44:21,447
...was on an overnight hike
with my Bible class.
558
00:44:23,772 --> 00:44:27,845
We're talking Laemil Lefebvre,
my preacher's son.
559
00:44:33,412 --> 00:44:37,690
I'd never done nothing
in my life before. Nothing!
560
00:44:37,932 --> 00:44:40,400
And he just climbed right smack-dab...
561
00:44:40,652 --> 00:44:43,325
...in the middle of my sleeping bag,
and I was scared.
562
00:44:45,252 --> 00:44:48,324
Not to mention the fact
that his daddy, the preacher...
563
00:44:48,572 --> 00:44:51,132
...was right over there,
just about ten feet away.
564
00:44:51,372 --> 00:44:52,202
How was it?
565
00:44:53,372 --> 00:44:54,725
Quiet...
566
00:44:55,252 --> 00:44:58,130
...but very nice. Very nice!
567
00:45:01,532 --> 00:45:03,443
I had an orgasm once.
568
00:45:06,292 --> 00:45:08,010
But I was alone.
569
00:45:10,292 --> 00:45:13,170
I guess you must have been alone.
570
00:45:20,252 --> 00:45:21,731
Once...
571
00:45:22,452 --> 00:45:26,809
...when I was with my first husband,
I got to this place...
572
00:45:27,092 --> 00:45:29,925
...that was kind of nice and tingly.
573
00:45:35,092 --> 00:45:37,128
I don't know if it was official.
574
00:45:37,372 --> 00:45:40,091
I mean, I don't know
if this was an official...
575
00:45:40,332 --> 00:45:42,243
...orgasm, you know.
576
00:45:44,732 --> 00:45:48,645
But I counted it as one for five years.
577
00:45:51,692 --> 00:45:53,523
How many times
have you been married?
578
00:45:56,492 --> 00:45:57,811
Twice.
579
00:46:00,372 --> 00:46:03,091
The first time for six weeks...
580
00:46:03,412 --> 00:46:05,084
...and the second time...
581
00:46:05,332 --> 00:46:06,651
...for six hours.
582
00:46:06,892 --> 00:46:07,722
Six hours?
583
00:46:08,452 --> 00:46:10,647
My husband had a heart attack and died.
584
00:46:10,892 --> 00:46:11,802
What?!
585
00:46:13,732 --> 00:46:16,121
My husband had a heart attack...
586
00:46:16,372 --> 00:46:19,409
...and died on our wedding night.
587
00:46:21,012 --> 00:46:22,968
While we were making love.
588
00:46:24,092 --> 00:46:25,571
Holy shit!
589
00:46:25,812 --> 00:46:27,689
Jesus, Benjamin!
590
00:46:28,012 --> 00:46:30,651
I don't get it. What do you do
after a thing like that?
591
00:46:34,852 --> 00:46:36,490
Join the Army.
592
00:46:57,772 --> 00:47:01,560
We're lost. We've passed
that same alligator 7 times.
593
00:47:01,812 --> 00:47:03,530
I bet the war games are over by now.
594
00:47:03,772 --> 00:47:06,809
- Lewis is going to just kill us!
- There's a plane!
595
00:47:07,052 --> 00:47:09,520
I bet that's headed back to base.
Let's follow it.
596
00:47:09,772 --> 00:47:12,206
I hope it's not Delta to Miami.
597
00:47:13,332 --> 00:47:15,846
Look, it's the Red Army headquarters.
598
00:47:18,732 --> 00:47:19,881
Quiet!
599
00:47:25,852 --> 00:47:26,887
Great.
600
00:47:27,252 --> 00:47:30,608
- You owe me $6.95.
- You got it!
601
00:47:42,092 --> 00:47:45,721
Hey, blood, how you doing?
All right, looking good!
602
00:47:45,972 --> 00:47:48,566
- What's happening, girl?
- What can I tell you?
603
00:47:49,292 --> 00:47:51,522
You're my prisoner of war,
that's what's happening!
604
00:47:51,772 --> 00:47:55,447
- I ain't your nothing. Get that...
- I mean what I say!
605
00:47:58,892 --> 00:48:00,007
Drop it!
606
00:48:03,172 --> 00:48:04,048
No, you drop it.
607
00:48:05,612 --> 00:48:07,091
I said, drop it!
608
00:48:09,252 --> 00:48:12,688
- Where's Captain Wooldridge?
- In the tent interrogating a P.O.W.
609
00:48:13,532 --> 00:48:14,885
Get the keys to the truck.
610
00:48:15,412 --> 00:48:16,527
Come on.
611
00:48:19,852 --> 00:48:21,410
- Oh, shit!
- Don't worry.
612
00:48:21,652 --> 00:48:23,722
- I'll hot-wire it.
- You know how?
613
00:48:24,212 --> 00:48:25,725
That's my former career.
614
00:48:25,972 --> 00:48:27,041
Excellent!
615
00:48:44,052 --> 00:48:45,201
What?
616
00:48:47,572 --> 00:48:48,402
Freeze!
617
00:48:49,212 --> 00:48:51,043
Private Winter!
618
00:48:53,092 --> 00:48:54,571
Well, lookee here!
619
00:48:54,812 --> 00:48:58,282
- Look what we got.
- Listen, Captain Lewis...
620
00:48:58,972 --> 00:49:01,247
She sent me out to find you guys and...
621
00:49:02,492 --> 00:49:03,720
...I got captured.
622
00:49:04,972 --> 00:49:07,486
He promised me he'd put in
a good word with Captain Lewis.
623
00:49:07,732 --> 00:49:09,324
And I really don't like him.
624
00:49:10,052 --> 00:49:11,724
Take the prisoners.
625
00:49:13,252 --> 00:49:15,846
Attention all Red Team personnel.
626
00:49:16,092 --> 00:49:19,084
The Blue Team has surrendered.
The Red Team has won.
627
00:49:19,332 --> 00:49:20,811
So follow us.
628
00:49:21,692 --> 00:49:23,808
Attention all Red Team personnel.
629
00:49:24,212 --> 00:49:25,725
The Blue Team has surrendered.
630
00:49:25,972 --> 00:49:28,406
The Red Team has won, so follow us.
631
00:49:33,932 --> 00:49:35,843
Red Team captured!
632
00:49:36,892 --> 00:49:38,883
Ross, take the platoon...
633
00:49:40,012 --> 00:49:41,081
...head due west.
634
00:49:42,692 --> 00:49:46,082
I'll lead the remaining troops
to the east.
635
00:49:53,692 --> 00:49:54,886
What now?
636
00:49:55,292 --> 00:49:56,441
Got any ideas?
637
00:50:02,772 --> 00:50:05,161
Off your asses!
On your feet!
638
00:50:09,492 --> 00:50:12,290
Overwhelming enemy forces approaching.
639
00:50:12,972 --> 00:50:17,488
Blue Team Company Commander
requests permission to surrender, sir.
640
00:50:17,932 --> 00:50:19,888
Do you accept
surrender of Blue Team?
641
00:50:20,132 --> 00:50:23,408
No, sir. We do not, because
we are also the Blue Team, sir.
642
00:50:23,652 --> 00:50:25,131
Identify yourself, soldier!
643
00:50:25,372 --> 00:50:27,681
Sir, Private Benjamin, sir!
644
00:50:40,652 --> 00:50:41,926
At ease!
645
00:50:42,172 --> 00:50:44,003
Which one of you is Private Benjamin?
646
00:50:44,252 --> 00:50:45,367
Sir, I am, sir.
647
00:50:47,172 --> 00:50:49,288
- Outstanding!
- Thank you, sir!
648
00:50:49,532 --> 00:50:52,444
Here's the rest of the squad.
Privates Glass, Gianelli...
649
00:50:52,692 --> 00:50:54,922
...Private Moe and Private Soyer, sir.
650
00:50:56,372 --> 00:50:58,124
Where is the Red Team Commander?
651
00:51:28,172 --> 00:51:30,845
Captain Lewis, you are lucky
to have troopers like this!
652
00:51:31,172 --> 00:51:32,446
Congratulations!
653
00:51:32,892 --> 00:51:35,850
Next time don't be so quick
to raise the white flag.
654
00:51:36,572 --> 00:51:38,881
- Yes, sir.
- The war games are concluded.
655
00:51:39,132 --> 00:51:42,249
Troops are dismissed.
I will see you tomorrow at graduation.
656
00:51:48,692 --> 00:51:50,967
- Yes, sir!
- Can I offer your team a lift?
657
00:52:07,012 --> 00:52:11,210
Meet two of our Thornbirds!
Lieutenant Gomez and Sergeant Gates.
658
00:52:13,892 --> 00:52:16,690
Fabulous uniforms!
What's a Thornbird, sir?
659
00:52:16,932 --> 00:52:21,323
An elite airborne corp. We recruit
them from the best bases in the country.
660
00:52:21,932 --> 00:52:24,571
I'm damn proud of them,
like I'm proud of you girls.
661
00:52:24,812 --> 00:52:26,848
It's a hell of a job you did today!
662
00:52:28,172 --> 00:52:29,571
Where do you hail from?
663
00:52:30,732 --> 00:52:32,370
Philadelphia, sir.
664
00:52:33,692 --> 00:52:37,526
It's the seat of our democracy!
Thornie Two is from Philadelphia.
665
00:52:37,932 --> 00:52:38,921
Thornie Two, sir?
666
00:52:39,332 --> 00:52:40,526
My wife.
667
00:52:41,332 --> 00:52:44,369
After 20 years watching us crazy guys
jump out of airplanes...
668
00:52:44,732 --> 00:52:47,405
...she decided she wanted to try it.
Remember, Ed?
669
00:52:48,492 --> 00:52:50,528
We took her up,
almost had to shove her out!
670
00:52:50,932 --> 00:52:53,002
She had a good time,
but she landed wrong.
671
00:52:53,372 --> 00:52:57,047
Broke her arm in 3 places. Lucky
we didn't have to shoot her, right?
672
00:52:58,412 --> 00:52:59,686
We're approaching, sir.
673
00:53:00,052 --> 00:53:02,407
I'll take her down.
You trust me, don't you?
674
00:53:02,652 --> 00:53:03,687
Oh, yes, sir!
675
00:53:04,052 --> 00:53:06,612
Then let's do it to it!
676
00:53:07,212 --> 00:53:11,205
- Tell your men to hang on, Benjamin!
- Hang on, men.
677
00:54:17,412 --> 00:54:19,403
Whoop-de-do!
678
00:54:21,932 --> 00:54:24,890
Inspection, ladies!
679
00:54:37,812 --> 00:54:39,450
Lady Luck!
680
00:54:44,172 --> 00:54:46,845
Don't you look at me
with those baby blues.
681
00:54:48,652 --> 00:54:51,212
I'm not the great Thornie.
682
00:54:53,892 --> 00:54:58,522
You finally succeeded in making
a fool out of me, didn't you?
683
00:55:00,212 --> 00:55:01,565
Ma'am. Yes, ma'am.
684
00:55:02,012 --> 00:55:05,482
I've got a reward for you,
my little hero.
685
00:55:06,732 --> 00:55:10,247
You're all going to scour
every inch of this rat's nest!
686
00:55:11,052 --> 00:55:12,804
Inside and out.
687
00:55:14,772 --> 00:55:17,809
I mean the bed frames,
the window ledges...
688
00:55:18,052 --> 00:55:20,043
...the linoleum...
689
00:55:21,852 --> 00:55:23,490
...the toilet seats.
690
00:55:25,572 --> 00:55:27,164
You understand me?
691
00:55:27,612 --> 00:55:29,603
Ma'am. Yes, ma'am.
692
00:55:30,332 --> 00:55:31,651
I can't hear you.
693
00:55:33,812 --> 00:55:36,007
I can't hear you!
694
00:55:44,492 --> 00:55:45,641
Thank you.
695
00:55:49,412 --> 00:55:52,210
It breaks my little old heart...
696
00:55:52,452 --> 00:55:54,647
...to have to bust up
our winning team...
697
00:55:54,892 --> 00:55:57,770
...but I have been assigned
to a new post.
698
00:55:58,012 --> 00:55:59,604
A good post!
699
00:56:01,052 --> 00:56:03,691
Let's not keep in touch, shall we!
700
00:56:44,252 --> 00:56:46,686
Busted up, the whole team.
701
00:56:46,932 --> 00:56:48,365
Busted up.
702
00:56:49,652 --> 00:56:52,325
I have been assigned to a new post.
703
00:56:59,052 --> 00:57:00,167
Come on.
704
00:57:37,412 --> 00:57:38,845
Good post!
705
00:58:08,852 --> 00:58:10,251
That was nice.
706
00:58:11,412 --> 00:58:13,528
Keep in touch, shall we?
707
00:59:32,052 --> 00:59:33,121
At ease!
708
00:59:37,132 --> 00:59:38,850
Didn't think you'd make it, did you?
709
00:59:41,052 --> 00:59:43,850
You will no longer
be known as trainees.
710
00:59:46,172 --> 00:59:48,527
You have earned the right
to call yourselves...
711
00:59:48,812 --> 00:59:51,884
...United States soldiers,
and I'm proud of each of you.
712
00:59:54,452 --> 00:59:56,090
On Monday you will receive...
713
00:59:56,332 --> 00:59:59,210
...your advanced individual
training assignments.
714
00:59:59,812 --> 01:00:00,881
Each of you...
715
01:00:07,612 --> 01:00:08,647
...will be given...
716
01:00:09,172 --> 01:00:11,686
...a special responsibility
which will play...
717
01:00:11,932 --> 01:00:14,890
...a key role in the
defense of the free world.
718
01:00:15,212 --> 01:00:17,362
My heartfelt congratulations
and best wishes.
719
01:00:19,732 --> 01:00:21,324
I almost forgot.
720
01:00:23,452 --> 01:00:25,920
Dismissed till 0800 Monday morning.
Have a good one!
721
01:00:53,412 --> 01:00:54,242
Evening, ladies.
722
01:00:54,492 --> 01:00:55,971
We're not interested.
723
01:00:56,212 --> 01:00:57,964
Sorry.
724
01:00:59,412 --> 01:01:01,164
All right, I'm uptight, okay?
725
01:01:01,412 --> 01:01:04,688
Get yourself a drink,
we're going to cruise.
726
01:01:32,252 --> 01:01:35,483
Judy Benjamin, this is Johnny Rourke.
727
01:01:35,732 --> 01:01:38,007
And Kim... I forget your last name.
728
01:01:38,252 --> 01:01:39,321
Osaka.
729
01:01:40,652 --> 01:01:43,291
Come on, sweetheart, let's go.
730
01:01:46,212 --> 01:01:48,362
What's happening, Judy?
731
01:01:50,972 --> 01:01:52,200
Bourbon, no ice.
732
01:01:54,292 --> 01:01:56,442
I'm with Olivetti of Tokyo.
733
01:01:56,692 --> 01:01:59,047
Johnny is my southeastern
U.S. Sales manager.
734
01:01:59,292 --> 01:02:01,965
He always shows me a hip time.
735
01:02:05,972 --> 01:02:07,564
What time is it?
736
01:02:09,892 --> 01:02:11,769
I just took your picture, mama!
737
01:02:13,892 --> 01:02:15,803
Very hip.
738
01:02:16,212 --> 01:02:18,885
Look, I've got to go back to the base.
739
01:02:19,132 --> 01:02:21,487
Where's the fire? Come on.
740
01:02:22,132 --> 01:02:24,805
This could be a big night for you.
741
01:02:26,332 --> 01:02:27,970
Sincerely.
742
01:02:30,132 --> 01:02:31,724
Liz?
743
01:02:32,212 --> 01:02:33,565
- How are you?
- God, I'm fine.
744
01:02:33,812 --> 01:02:36,007
I can't believe this!
745
01:02:36,972 --> 01:02:40,328
Listen, thanks,
but I don't need the loan.
746
01:02:40,572 --> 01:02:42,210
What are you doing in New Orleans?
747
01:02:42,452 --> 01:02:44,966
My dad's here on a medical
conference and we all came.
748
01:02:45,212 --> 01:02:46,770
Come and see them, they'll die!
749
01:02:47,012 --> 01:02:49,401
Wait a minute.
Who is that with your parents?
750
01:02:50,972 --> 01:02:54,726
A French gynecologist. He and Dad
spoke on the Lamaze panel together.
751
01:02:55,172 --> 01:02:57,128
- Isn't he totally gorgeous?
- Totally.
752
01:02:57,372 --> 01:02:59,567
If it weren't for Jeffrey,
I'd go for him myself.
753
01:02:59,812 --> 01:03:01,643
Look who I found!
754
01:03:03,372 --> 01:03:05,283
My God, how are you, darling?
755
01:03:05,532 --> 01:03:09,241
Kid, you look wonderful!
Please give me a hug.
756
01:03:13,012 --> 01:03:14,331
Sit down.
757
01:03:17,092 --> 01:03:19,367
- Henri Tremont.
- Benjamin, Judy.
758
01:03:19,612 --> 01:03:22,251
Will you you look at this?
GI Judy!
759
01:03:22,492 --> 01:03:24,369
We'll call your parents.
760
01:03:24,612 --> 01:03:26,489
They'll be so thrilled we saw you.
761
01:03:26,732 --> 01:03:29,121
Your mother's coming along very nicely.
762
01:03:29,412 --> 01:03:31,209
She gained back some of the weight.
763
01:03:32,692 --> 01:03:33,681
Champagne?
764
01:03:33,972 --> 01:03:35,200
I'd love some, thank you.
765
01:03:35,452 --> 01:03:36,771
Since Yale's fu...
766
01:03:38,132 --> 01:03:41,761
By the way, I can't get over you
in this Army outfit.
767
01:03:42,012 --> 01:03:44,606
She didn't swim because
she didn't want her hair wet.
768
01:03:44,852 --> 01:03:46,001
This is true.
769
01:03:46,252 --> 01:03:47,571
What it's like to be a WAC?
770
01:03:47,852 --> 01:03:50,320
- I'm not a WAC.
- How often do you talk to your folks?
771
01:03:50,572 --> 01:03:53,211
Tell Henri how long
we've known your parents.
772
01:03:53,492 --> 01:03:56,006
Shall I make a long story short?
773
01:03:56,812 --> 01:03:58,450
Leo and I and Judy's parents...
774
01:03:58,692 --> 01:04:02,731
...double-dated in Atlantic City,
before even any one of us was married.
775
01:04:02,972 --> 01:04:06,089
It wasn't Atlantic City.
It was Asbury Park, but it's all right.
776
01:04:06,332 --> 01:04:09,608
I've never been to
Asbury Park in my life.
777
01:04:12,412 --> 01:04:13,481
Would you like to dance?
778
01:04:13,972 --> 01:04:15,610
I'd love to dance.
779
01:04:28,932 --> 01:04:30,524
The Lemishes are terrific people...
780
01:04:30,772 --> 01:04:34,162
...but 4 hours of making long stories
short was driving me crazy.
781
01:04:34,412 --> 01:04:37,131
4 hours? Try 28 years.
782
01:04:40,932 --> 01:04:43,605
I've never danced with a soldier before.
783
01:04:43,852 --> 01:04:46,605
I've never danced as a soldier before.
784
01:04:49,492 --> 01:04:51,608
- I kind of like it.
- So do I.
785
01:04:57,092 --> 01:04:59,242
Do you have a boyfriend in this Army?
786
01:04:59,492 --> 01:05:00,686
No.
787
01:05:02,692 --> 01:05:04,569
Don't you get lonely?
788
01:05:05,572 --> 01:05:09,167
- How'd you get to speak English so well?
- Baltimore.
789
01:05:09,412 --> 01:05:12,324
- Maryland?
- I went to med school at Johns Hopkins.
790
01:05:30,332 --> 01:05:33,927
I just can't believe
that you're in this Army.
791
01:05:36,532 --> 01:05:38,841
If I knew you better,
I'd show you my dog tags.
792
01:05:40,492 --> 01:05:41,607
How much better?
793
01:06:01,052 --> 01:06:02,929
Let's go to my room.
794
01:06:07,892 --> 01:06:10,247
I'm really attracted to you.
795
01:06:11,212 --> 01:06:15,444
But I'm not ready to make love to a
man I just met an hour and a half ago.
796
01:06:16,292 --> 01:06:17,930
I'm sorry.
797
01:06:18,332 --> 01:06:20,368
That's just the way I am.
798
01:06:22,052 --> 01:06:26,489
Usually, by the time I kiss a guy, I
already know his mother's maiden name.
799
01:06:29,092 --> 01:06:30,764
I wish I knew you better.
800
01:06:31,332 --> 01:06:33,004
I'm thirty-four...
801
01:06:33,292 --> 01:06:36,204
...and I live alone in Neuilly,
on the outskirts of Paris.
802
01:06:37,532 --> 01:06:39,921
I'm the only child...
803
01:06:40,412 --> 01:06:42,642
...and my father is also a doctor.
804
01:06:43,892 --> 01:06:45,120
What else?
805
01:06:46,292 --> 01:06:48,681
When I'm not working I play soccer.
806
01:06:50,332 --> 01:06:52,243
Let's see...
807
01:06:53,372 --> 01:06:54,885
I'm Jewish.
808
01:07:17,492 --> 01:07:20,882
Now I know what I've been
faking all these years.
809
01:07:30,452 --> 01:07:31,885
That was your first?
810
01:07:33,812 --> 01:07:35,370
And second.
811
01:07:47,412 --> 01:07:48,891
Where are you going?
812
01:07:49,132 --> 01:07:52,204
- Just to get a sip of champagne.
- I want to go with you.
813
01:08:06,572 --> 01:08:08,005
I'm sorry.
814
01:08:12,052 --> 01:08:13,280
No I'm not.
815
01:08:16,492 --> 01:08:17,845
What?
816
01:08:19,212 --> 01:08:20,850
Private Benjamin.
817
01:08:23,732 --> 01:08:26,087
Meeting you tonight was...
818
01:08:29,212 --> 01:08:31,362
It was just what I needed.
819
01:08:41,012 --> 01:08:43,048
What you needed?
820
01:08:50,932 --> 01:08:52,604
If you're ever in Paris...
821
01:08:53,732 --> 01:08:55,450
If you're ever in Biloxi.
822
01:08:59,972 --> 01:09:01,644
It was nice meeting you.
823
01:09:21,652 --> 01:09:22,721
What did you get?
824
01:09:22,972 --> 01:09:26,760
- MP School.
- You can put your violence to good use.
825
01:09:27,052 --> 01:09:29,202
- Smoke and flame specialist.
- What's that?
826
01:09:29,452 --> 01:09:30,362
A fireman.
827
01:09:30,612 --> 01:09:33,080
I got transferred to
Fort Ord, California.
828
01:09:33,332 --> 01:09:36,005
You got the yachts, honey!
You got the yachts!
829
01:09:36,572 --> 01:09:38,688
- What?
- OCS.
830
01:09:38,932 --> 01:09:40,524
Can you believe it?!
831
01:09:40,772 --> 01:09:45,368
- Honey, you're going to be an officer.
- There goes a beautiful friendship.
832
01:09:45,612 --> 01:09:46,488
What did you get?
833
01:09:46,772 --> 01:09:48,967
I don't know. I'm petrified.
834
01:09:49,332 --> 01:09:50,765
Excuse me!
835
01:09:51,132 --> 01:09:52,963
- Where's Benjamin?
- Right there.
836
01:09:53,932 --> 01:09:54,887
Thornbirds?
837
01:09:55,812 --> 01:09:57,006
Me?
838
01:09:57,492 --> 01:09:59,084
They don't have women Thornbirds.
839
01:09:59,332 --> 01:10:00,685
They do now.
840
01:10:05,692 --> 01:10:09,321
I was a skinny fighting lad
No more than seventeen
841
01:10:09,572 --> 01:10:13,485
The sorriest excuse for a man
That you have ever seen
842
01:10:13,732 --> 01:10:17,247
But now I am a Thornbird
And as proud as I can be
843
01:10:17,492 --> 01:10:21,371
Colonel Thornbush
Made a man out of me
844
01:10:26,092 --> 01:10:29,880
Glory, glory
I'll be falling through the sky
845
01:10:30,132 --> 01:10:33,841
Glory, glory
I am not afraid to die
846
01:10:34,092 --> 01:10:37,402
Glory, glory
I'm as proud as I can be
847
01:10:37,652 --> 01:10:41,565
Colonel Thornbush
Made a man out of me
848
01:11:33,772 --> 01:11:35,683
Good morning, sir.
849
01:11:35,932 --> 01:11:37,445
I'd like you to meet my wife.
850
01:11:38,332 --> 01:11:42,007
- Good to meet you, Mrs. Thornbush.
- Good to meet you, Miss Lady Thornbird.
851
01:11:42,252 --> 01:11:45,050
- I've heard a lot about you.
- Thank you.
852
01:11:45,372 --> 01:11:47,249
I guess this is the Thorndog.
853
01:11:47,572 --> 01:11:48,766
Shake, Scrabble!
854
01:11:50,772 --> 01:11:54,082
You must be nervous
about the big jump tomorrow.
855
01:11:54,332 --> 01:11:56,721
The Colonel says I can do it.
I guess I can.
856
01:11:56,972 --> 01:11:59,440
The Colonel's motto is,
"Life is a series...
857
01:11:59,692 --> 01:12:03,048
...of challenges to be
met and mastered."
858
01:12:03,332 --> 01:12:07,291
I hope you catch a cloud, Benjamin.
Not a feeling like it in the world.
859
01:12:07,732 --> 01:12:11,281
You're in a veil of white,
not a sound except your beating heart.
860
01:12:12,092 --> 01:12:13,650
It's godlike.
861
01:12:18,692 --> 01:12:21,650
You must be very special.
862
01:12:21,972 --> 01:12:24,008
The "Big T" is a
great judge of character.
863
01:12:24,252 --> 01:12:26,049
Stop gabbing and let this soldier...
864
01:12:26,292 --> 01:12:27,247
...get some chow.
865
01:12:27,492 --> 01:12:28,845
Goodbye, sir.
866
01:12:31,252 --> 01:12:34,244
I really appreciate
your confidence in me.
867
01:12:34,492 --> 01:12:36,289
I'm not going to let you down.
868
01:12:37,532 --> 01:12:40,126
See you at 13,000 feet, okay?
869
01:12:47,252 --> 01:12:49,083
Oy vey!
870
01:13:00,492 --> 01:13:02,403
Go with it!
Soar! You're a Thornbird!
871
01:13:04,572 --> 01:13:06,767
Come on, Benjamin,
let's go! All right?
872
01:13:11,852 --> 01:13:13,888
- You can do it! Trust me!
- I can't!
873
01:13:15,012 --> 01:13:17,128
I'm ashamed, but I'm afraid to die.
874
01:13:17,372 --> 01:13:20,523
- I'm afraid, Colonel. I'm not brave.
- Take it easy!
875
01:13:20,772 --> 01:13:22,000
I can't. I'm afraid...
876
01:13:22,252 --> 01:13:24,004
...my chute won't open.
877
01:13:24,252 --> 01:13:26,641
- Calm down, Benjamin!
- What if I fall upside down?
878
01:13:26,892 --> 01:13:30,089
- I could vomit in midair!
- Take it easy!
879
01:13:30,332 --> 01:13:34,086
I tried to be macho, but those guys
are better at being men than I am!
880
01:13:34,372 --> 01:13:36,283
Relax, Benjamin,
you don't have to jump!
881
01:13:36,852 --> 01:13:38,444
- I don't?
- No!
882
01:13:38,692 --> 01:13:40,762
Take it easy, girl! Shape up!
883
01:13:41,492 --> 01:13:42,766
You better?
884
01:13:43,212 --> 01:13:44,964
I feel better now.
885
01:13:45,212 --> 01:13:47,726
You don't have to jump.
886
01:13:48,092 --> 01:13:50,003
You're a good man.
887
01:13:50,292 --> 01:13:51,850
There are other ways you can serve.
888
01:13:58,092 --> 01:13:59,002
Happy, darling?
889
01:13:59,692 --> 01:14:01,683
- You want it!
- What are you doing?
890
01:14:01,932 --> 01:14:04,321
I can smell fear in any man
and passion in any woman!
891
01:14:04,572 --> 01:14:05,561
You want it!
892
01:14:07,412 --> 01:14:10,085
My God, this isn't happening to me!
893
01:14:11,212 --> 01:14:12,361
I'm going to take you.
894
01:14:12,692 --> 01:14:15,286
I'm not in the mood.
Suddenly I feel nauseous.
895
01:14:15,532 --> 01:14:17,124
Come to papa.
896
01:14:17,852 --> 01:14:20,844
I don't think so, sir,
but thanks anyway.
897
01:14:24,532 --> 01:14:26,921
My God! Open, please!
898
01:14:35,252 --> 01:14:36,367
At ease.
899
01:14:39,012 --> 01:14:40,843
I'm glad you're back in one piece.
900
01:14:42,332 --> 01:14:46,564
I apologize for yesterday's indiscretion.
An unforgivable breach of discipline.
901
01:14:47,252 --> 01:14:48,765
And taste, sir.
902
01:14:51,692 --> 01:14:53,967
I hope it hasn't soured you
on the military.
903
01:14:54,332 --> 01:14:56,971
The question is how long
you'll continue as a Thornbird.
904
01:14:57,212 --> 01:14:59,089
Hopefully not too long, sir.
905
01:15:01,132 --> 01:15:02,281
Understood.
906
01:15:02,532 --> 01:15:06,241
That's why I've put you on special
assignment, transferred to another post.
907
01:15:07,372 --> 01:15:09,567
A special assignment
on the ground, I hope.
908
01:15:10,412 --> 01:15:12,289
- A job in procurement.
- Procurement?
909
01:15:12,532 --> 01:15:15,490
That's purchasing. I've cut
your orders, you leave at 1500.
910
01:15:17,532 --> 01:15:18,601
Greenland?
911
01:15:18,852 --> 01:15:20,729
What, penguins? Forget it!
912
01:15:21,452 --> 01:15:22,521
Forget it!
913
01:15:23,652 --> 01:15:26,564
I was in the first wave of the Rangers
at Normandy on D-day.
914
01:15:26,812 --> 01:15:31,124
In 1952 I was standing with my troops
on the banks of the Yalu River, waiting.
915
01:15:31,372 --> 01:15:33,567
MacArthur phoned.
"Come home, Thornie...
916
01:15:33,892 --> 01:15:36,087
...it's not our year."
I am a good leader.
917
01:15:36,332 --> 01:15:38,243
No, I am a great leader!
918
01:15:38,692 --> 01:15:40,967
Your ass is going to
Greenland for a reason.
919
01:15:41,212 --> 01:15:45,728
I won't let you shoot your mouth off,
blemishing my record with innuendo.
920
01:15:46,052 --> 01:15:47,724
Innuendo? Try rape.
921
01:15:50,612 --> 01:15:51,442
How about Guam?
922
01:15:52,452 --> 01:15:53,851
My hair will frizz.
923
01:15:55,132 --> 01:15:55,962
Okinawa?
924
01:15:56,372 --> 01:15:59,284
Malaria? Pass.
925
01:15:59,932 --> 01:16:02,207
We have bases all over the world.
926
01:16:32,052 --> 01:16:34,646
Dear Glass, hello from Belgium.
927
01:16:34,892 --> 01:16:38,441
Sorry it's taken me so long to write,
but I've been very busy.
928
01:16:38,692 --> 01:16:40,444
S.H.A.P.E. Is an amazing place.
929
01:16:40,732 --> 01:16:43,451
The top military headquarters
in Europe.
930
01:16:43,692 --> 01:16:46,604
Definitely the most exciting duty
a soldier could pull.
931
01:16:46,852 --> 01:16:49,127
My M. O. S. Is Purchasing Specialist...
932
01:16:49,372 --> 01:16:52,091
...the one job I've
trained for all my life.
933
01:16:52,892 --> 01:16:54,564
My superior is a terrific guy...
934
01:16:55,332 --> 01:16:58,005
...a Turkish officer
named Lieutenant Rahmi.
935
01:16:58,252 --> 01:17:02,211
But the best one can say of his English
is that it's better than my Turkish.
936
01:17:03,132 --> 01:17:04,690
Benyameen, ka'.
937
01:17:05,972 --> 01:17:07,041
Sate.
938
01:17:08,452 --> 01:17:12,331
Benyameen, I need the inpoormation
on the drying caruses.
939
01:17:12,732 --> 01:17:13,687
Driving courses?
940
01:17:13,932 --> 01:17:16,048
Yes, sir. I'm working on that now.
941
01:17:16,292 --> 01:17:20,046
Excellent. I want you
to rye-eed it to the counsule.
942
01:17:20,852 --> 01:17:22,683
Me? Read it to the council?
943
01:17:23,132 --> 01:17:25,088
Do want me to rye-eed it?
944
01:17:28,732 --> 01:17:30,688
Private Benyameen... Benjamin!
945
01:17:30,932 --> 01:17:33,969
I got a charming apartment
through an ad in Stars and Stripes.
946
01:17:34,212 --> 01:17:37,522
It's right over a bakery,
has a hot plate, running water...
947
01:17:37,772 --> 01:17:39,649
...and all the croissants I can eat.
948
01:17:39,892 --> 01:17:42,531
It's not exactly Versailles,
but it's home.
949
01:17:42,772 --> 01:17:46,731
For the first time in months, I feel
that things are really going my way.
950
01:18:01,692 --> 01:18:04,411
I finally got the nerve
to pay Henri a surprise visit.
951
01:18:04,652 --> 01:18:08,361
I'll let you know how it turns out.
I hope he remembers me.
952
01:18:08,612 --> 01:18:12,810
My love to Moe and Gianelli.
Votre amie, Private B.
953
01:18:13,412 --> 01:18:16,449
Let's see... just got into town.
954
01:18:17,972 --> 01:18:21,681
And feeling kind of lonely.
No, don't say lonely.
955
01:18:21,932 --> 01:18:23,081
Oh, God!
956
01:18:48,452 --> 01:18:52,081
It's a great house, but don't be
impressed. It's a hand-me-down.
957
01:19:10,452 --> 01:19:12,010
- Morning.
- Nine o'clock?
958
01:19:12,252 --> 01:19:14,925
I haven't slept this late in 3 months.
959
01:19:20,252 --> 01:19:22,402
- Where are you going?
- Sunday soccer.
960
01:19:23,652 --> 01:19:24,971
Merde! I'm late.
961
01:19:25,252 --> 01:19:27,049
I have to go anyway.
962
01:19:27,332 --> 01:19:28,970
Don't be ridiculous, please!
963
01:19:29,212 --> 01:19:32,409
Stay. I want you to be here when
I get back at three o'clock.
964
01:19:32,652 --> 01:19:36,930
I'm going to make love to you,
and I'll take you to my favorite bistro.
965
01:19:37,692 --> 01:19:40,252
And we'll listen to
some nice Italian jazz.
966
01:19:41,572 --> 01:19:42,448
Max!
967
01:19:52,452 --> 01:19:54,443
Hello, baby!
968
01:19:56,692 --> 01:19:58,284
He's beautiful.
969
01:19:58,532 --> 01:19:59,521
Sit!
970
01:20:04,292 --> 01:20:05,930
The dog is deaf.
971
01:20:12,252 --> 01:20:14,447
Wait for me, please.
972
01:20:19,292 --> 01:20:21,248
I could get used to you.
973
01:20:43,012 --> 01:20:45,765
I paid 8,000 francs for this rug.
974
01:20:46,772 --> 01:20:50,970
I'm sorry. He gets nervous
around new people.
975
01:20:51,212 --> 01:20:52,964
He's not the only one.
976
01:20:57,212 --> 01:21:00,170
- I have to clean this up.
- You go play. I'll clean up.
977
01:21:00,412 --> 01:21:02,801
No, I'll clean it.
Go play.
978
01:21:14,452 --> 01:21:15,680
I adore you.
979
01:21:22,892 --> 01:21:27,443
There are two bids we recommend:
Sergio Devoto's Driving Academy...
980
01:21:27,772 --> 01:21:30,366
...which teaches evasive driving
to the chauffeurs...
981
01:21:30,612 --> 01:21:33,809
...of such dignitaries as
General Alexander Haig...
982
01:21:34,052 --> 01:21:37,601
...President Giscard d'Estaing,
Mick Jagger...
983
01:21:37,892 --> 01:21:40,122
Excuse me, Private Benjamin...
984
01:21:40,372 --> 01:21:43,364
...I'm afraid I missed
the security data on these drivers.
985
01:21:43,612 --> 01:21:46,080
The security data was
unavailable to me, sir.
986
01:21:46,732 --> 01:21:49,087
Who's here from security?
987
01:21:50,852 --> 01:21:51,682
I am, sir.
988
01:21:55,332 --> 01:21:57,892
That material is highly classified, sir.
989
01:21:58,132 --> 01:22:01,442
I am certain this soldier
is not cleared for that level.
990
01:22:01,692 --> 01:22:03,683
Then clear her, Captain.
991
01:22:05,292 --> 01:22:06,202
Is there a problem?
992
01:22:09,252 --> 01:22:10,128
No, sir.
993
01:22:10,372 --> 01:22:13,409
Then we'll expect a revised report
by the next council session.
994
01:22:13,652 --> 01:22:14,641
Gentlemen...
995
01:22:14,972 --> 01:22:15,961
...chow time.
996
01:22:20,252 --> 01:22:21,241
Good job.
997
01:22:40,292 --> 01:22:42,010
Behave yourself, Judy Benjamin...
998
01:22:42,252 --> 01:22:46,723
...or I'll drum your ass out of S.H.A.P.E.
So fast it'll make your head spin.
999
01:22:53,932 --> 01:22:55,490
Sorry, Helga.
1000
01:22:55,772 --> 01:22:57,603
Who is your friend, Doreen?
1001
01:22:57,852 --> 01:23:00,082
She's no fwiend... friend.
1002
01:23:00,852 --> 01:23:02,968
Listen, the bags are packed.
1003
01:23:08,052 --> 01:23:10,088
My ex-girlfriend, Claire, painted it.
1004
01:23:10,332 --> 01:23:13,961
- What's it supposed to be, death?
- No, it's a self-portrait.
1005
01:23:14,812 --> 01:23:16,803
How long ago did you and this...
1006
01:23:17,652 --> 01:23:19,370
...painter break up?
1007
01:23:20,132 --> 01:23:24,205
- 14 weeks ago, Monday.
- You're still counting it in weeks?
1008
01:23:25,972 --> 01:23:29,726
How come you broke up?
Or is that too personal?
1009
01:23:31,372 --> 01:23:32,930
Claire is a brilliant woman.
1010
01:23:33,172 --> 01:23:37,324
I even joined the Communist Party
for her for a week.
1011
01:23:37,972 --> 01:23:41,601
Not romantic though,
much too independent.
1012
01:23:45,292 --> 01:23:47,408
Do you know a lot of tortured artists?
1013
01:23:47,972 --> 01:23:50,167
Only tortured lawyers.
1014
01:23:51,532 --> 01:23:53,762
Your first husband was a lawyer?
1015
01:23:54,012 --> 01:23:57,288
No, Rick was a tennis pro
at the El San Juan.
1016
01:23:57,772 --> 01:24:01,447
My therapist said that I had
a neurotic need to find a father figure.
1017
01:24:01,692 --> 01:24:05,446
And he had a neurotic need to find
a father-in-law who had a lot of money.
1018
01:24:14,692 --> 01:24:19,368
You know, I've been married to men
I haven't felt this comfortable with.
1019
01:25:30,052 --> 01:25:33,442
What's the story with you
and this Tremont character?
1020
01:25:34,292 --> 01:25:36,010
Why are you spying on me?
1021
01:25:48,732 --> 01:25:52,327
- Your lover-boy's a Red!
- Don't be ridiculous!
1022
01:25:52,572 --> 01:25:55,405
He was a Red for about five seconds.
1023
01:25:55,652 --> 01:25:57,449
Because of a woman he used to date.
1024
01:25:57,892 --> 01:26:01,771
Nobody stops being a Communist.
It's a terminal disease.
1025
01:26:02,012 --> 01:26:05,641
And I am not going to sit around
with my thumb up my ass...
1026
01:26:05,892 --> 01:26:08,281
...while you divulge
classified information...
1027
01:26:08,532 --> 01:26:10,682
...during the throes of passion.
1028
01:26:10,932 --> 01:26:14,049
Please! I can barely speak
during the throes of passion.
1029
01:26:14,452 --> 01:26:17,649
Believe me, Henri Tremont is
as much a Communist as me.
1030
01:26:18,012 --> 01:26:19,081
Or you!
1031
01:26:20,612 --> 01:26:23,763
If Patton were alive,
he would slap your face.
1032
01:26:27,012 --> 01:26:28,206
As you were.
1033
01:26:32,612 --> 01:26:33,931
Captain Lewis.
1034
01:26:35,972 --> 01:26:39,487
Private Benjamin has made herself
vulnerable to a Red, sir.
1035
01:26:39,732 --> 01:26:40,881
I read the report.
1036
01:26:41,132 --> 01:26:42,087
It's not true, sir.
1037
01:26:42,332 --> 01:26:46,610
We're not blind to the fact
that half of Europe is Communistic.
1038
01:26:47,732 --> 01:26:49,962
But here at S.H.A.P.E.
They're still the enemy.
1039
01:26:50,652 --> 01:26:52,210
General Foley, Henri Tremont...
1040
01:26:52,452 --> 01:26:55,728
...is not a Communist.
He's a gynecologist.
1041
01:26:56,732 --> 01:26:58,962
Captain Lewis is hung up
on a technicality.
1042
01:26:59,292 --> 01:27:03,410
I'm sorry, but it's against regulations
for you to associate with this man.
1043
01:27:04,372 --> 01:27:06,647
You're up for a promotion.
1044
01:27:06,892 --> 01:27:10,043
I'd hate to see this incident
jeopardize your career.
1045
01:27:11,212 --> 01:27:13,168
What are you trying to tell me, sir?
1046
01:27:14,732 --> 01:27:16,370
It's either him...
1047
01:27:16,652 --> 01:27:17,641
...or us.
1048
01:27:41,932 --> 01:27:43,968
- Can't you hear?
- Can't you move?
1049
01:27:50,212 --> 01:27:51,611
It's Judy.
1050
01:27:51,852 --> 01:27:52,807
Judy who?
1051
01:27:53,652 --> 01:27:55,882
Darling, how are you?
1052
01:27:57,172 --> 01:27:58,002
What?
1053
01:28:04,292 --> 01:28:05,850
She's getting married.
1054
01:28:21,372 --> 01:28:24,523
Monsieur Shiffman!
Thank God!
1055
01:28:29,772 --> 01:28:32,240
Listen, the tablecloths...
1056
01:28:36,452 --> 01:28:40,331
...they're terrible.
The color, la couleur, is all wrong.
1057
01:28:43,612 --> 01:28:46,684
The wedding is in yellow...
1058
01:28:47,252 --> 01:28:49,447
...and butterscotch.
1059
01:28:50,532 --> 01:28:53,365
And right now I'm looking at
something entre...
1060
01:28:53,612 --> 01:28:56,206
...canari et banane.
1061
01:28:56,612 --> 01:28:57,488
Gabby!
1062
01:28:59,812 --> 01:29:00,961
Pardon, Madame!
1063
01:29:02,012 --> 01:29:04,446
I get the Hoover.
1064
01:29:09,412 --> 01:29:12,006
Was she a good maid
before she met me?
1065
01:29:13,972 --> 01:29:16,884
Is it smart to fire the maid
just before the wedding?
1066
01:29:17,332 --> 01:29:19,368
Especially with your parents coming.
1067
01:29:19,732 --> 01:29:23,088
Okay, she stays until after the wedding.
1068
01:29:25,372 --> 01:29:27,328
You look very beautiful today.
1069
01:29:28,372 --> 01:29:29,691
So do you.
1070
01:29:30,412 --> 01:29:32,562
What did your friends say
when they called?
1071
01:29:32,812 --> 01:29:35,531
They're coming over on
Army Transport next week.
1072
01:29:35,772 --> 01:29:38,570
I can't wait to see them.
It's going to be so much fun.
1073
01:29:38,812 --> 01:29:41,087
And Glass is learning French!
1074
01:29:49,972 --> 01:29:51,803
Honey, who was that?
1075
01:29:53,412 --> 01:29:55,243
It was Claire.
1076
01:29:58,812 --> 01:30:00,040
Claire?
1077
01:30:12,212 --> 01:30:14,248
Get over this obsession with Claire.
1078
01:30:14,572 --> 01:30:16,608
You stood with your tongue hanging out.
1079
01:30:16,932 --> 01:30:18,650
I was surprised to see her.
1080
01:30:18,892 --> 01:30:21,964
Surprised?
I'd call it catatonic.
1081
01:30:22,212 --> 01:30:25,807
You don't see me getting hung up on your
old boyfriends and husbands.
1082
01:30:26,052 --> 01:30:27,405
Do you?
1083
01:30:29,172 --> 01:30:30,571
Listen to me.
1084
01:30:30,852 --> 01:30:31,887
Come here.
1085
01:30:34,092 --> 01:30:34,968
I love you.
1086
01:30:35,572 --> 01:30:37,563
We're getting married in a week.
1087
01:30:45,052 --> 01:30:46,644
I want to have a baby with you.
1088
01:30:49,292 --> 01:30:50,361
You do?
1089
01:30:52,012 --> 01:30:53,684
Oh, honey!
1090
01:30:54,892 --> 01:30:56,450
I'd love to have a baby.
1091
01:30:57,892 --> 01:30:59,530
I thought I was getting too old.
1092
01:31:03,532 --> 01:31:05,170
A baby!
1093
01:31:08,452 --> 01:31:11,330
- I want us to be together always.
- We will!
1094
01:31:17,612 --> 01:31:19,568
It's the reality of things sometimes...
1095
01:31:19,812 --> 01:31:23,521
...they don't always work out
exactly as they are planned, so...
1096
01:31:24,772 --> 01:31:26,285
What are you saying?
1097
01:31:29,092 --> 01:31:31,162
- I want you to sign this.
- What is it?
1098
01:31:31,412 --> 01:31:33,289
Contrat de mariage.
1099
01:31:34,252 --> 01:31:36,891
A letter of financial agreement.
1100
01:31:37,532 --> 01:31:41,810
God forbid something should happen
to us. It just helps us stay friends.
1101
01:31:43,492 --> 01:31:45,847
I want to be your wife, not your friend.
1102
01:31:46,132 --> 01:31:49,920
It's fair. I allocated for myself
what was mine before our marriage.
1103
01:31:50,492 --> 01:31:52,562
You cannot expect me to give you...
1104
01:31:52,812 --> 01:31:56,646
...half of a house that's been
in my family for centuries.
1105
01:32:00,372 --> 01:32:03,648
We don't need this kind of thing
between us. We'll make it.
1106
01:32:04,572 --> 01:32:06,449
I can't get married without it.
1107
01:32:16,092 --> 01:32:17,923
It's in French.
1108
01:32:18,172 --> 01:32:19,571
Please.
1109
01:32:37,452 --> 01:32:39,522
Private Benjamin?
1110
01:32:39,772 --> 01:32:42,127
Did I write that? I'm sorry.
1111
01:32:42,372 --> 01:32:43,964
I'll just cross it out.
1112
01:32:49,012 --> 01:32:50,650
Initial it.
1113
01:33:04,372 --> 01:33:06,727
Where shall we go tonight?
Regine's?
1114
01:33:21,452 --> 01:33:24,922
Took Henri's car to the shop.
Made Henri's hair appointment.
1115
01:33:25,172 --> 01:33:26,969
Took Max to the vet.
1116
01:33:27,212 --> 01:33:29,567
Picked up Henri's soccer uniform.
1117
01:33:36,092 --> 01:33:39,323
You've got to remember that
I used to be a very active person.
1118
01:33:39,572 --> 01:33:41,722
I was jumping out of airplanes...
1119
01:33:41,972 --> 01:33:44,930
...and at S.H.A.P.E. It was
like nonstop chaos.
1120
01:33:45,172 --> 01:33:47,447
You're not thinking about
opening a store?
1121
01:33:47,692 --> 01:33:49,523
No, you were right about that.
1122
01:33:49,772 --> 01:33:53,162
It would've been too much
of a hassle to do. It was a bad idea.
1123
01:33:53,412 --> 01:33:56,961
But there have to be other choices.
1124
01:33:57,212 --> 01:33:59,521
Do you know what I did today?
1125
01:34:00,692 --> 01:34:02,683
I rearranged my closet.
1126
01:34:02,932 --> 01:34:04,285
For three hours.
1127
01:34:04,532 --> 01:34:07,683
There's definitely something wrong
with that, isn't there?
1128
01:34:09,652 --> 01:34:12,007
- Am I making sense?
- No.
1129
01:34:12,892 --> 01:34:14,644
And that's what I love about you.
1130
01:34:17,852 --> 01:34:20,207
This is the color of hair
I was talking about.
1131
01:34:21,812 --> 01:34:23,803
I don't know. Maybe.
1132
01:34:25,772 --> 01:34:27,091
I love it.
1133
01:34:53,772 --> 01:34:55,808
Rita Hayworth, I swear to God!
1134
01:34:56,052 --> 01:34:58,964
- I wouldn't have recognized you.
- You look stunning!
1135
01:34:59,212 --> 01:35:02,488
Turn around, let me see the outfit.
Oh God, doll! Gorgeous!
1136
01:35:02,732 --> 01:35:04,165
It's an absolute vision.
1137
01:35:04,412 --> 01:35:06,448
Her hair is the worst!
1138
01:35:06,692 --> 01:35:10,731
To see you looking like your
old self again, you have no idea!
1139
01:35:10,972 --> 01:35:12,769
Who knows what we'd do
in her place.
1140
01:35:13,852 --> 01:35:16,605
The important thing is,
Judy's Judy again.
1141
01:35:16,852 --> 01:35:21,243
- Truthfully, you don't miss the Army?
- What's to miss? $400 a month?
1142
01:35:21,492 --> 01:35:24,370
The only good thing about it
was that what's-her-name.
1143
01:35:24,612 --> 01:35:25,931
Captain Lewis?
1144
01:35:26,492 --> 01:35:29,643
I hope her coat's good enough.
I had no idea it'd be so chilly.
1145
01:35:29,892 --> 01:35:34,522
- It's November here, Kissy.
- It's November everywhere, genius!
1146
01:35:43,052 --> 01:35:44,201
Sit!
1147
01:35:45,772 --> 01:35:47,922
I was talking to Max.
1148
01:35:50,332 --> 01:35:52,323
It's good to see you up.
1149
01:35:53,572 --> 01:35:55,688
Excuse me for interrupting.
1150
01:35:56,732 --> 01:35:58,324
Does this belong to anyone?
1151
01:35:58,572 --> 01:36:01,211
Because I'm positive it isn't mine.
1152
01:36:01,452 --> 01:36:03,204
Oui, Madame.
Where did you find it?
1153
01:36:03,452 --> 01:36:04,965
Where you left eet!
1154
01:36:05,292 --> 01:36:08,011
May I ask what you were doing
in my bed?!
1155
01:36:08,252 --> 01:36:10,846
I was not in your bed, madame.
I make your bed.
1156
01:36:12,372 --> 01:36:13,851
It must have fallen.
1157
01:36:14,932 --> 01:36:15,842
What are you doing?
1158
01:36:16,092 --> 01:36:18,890
I would like to know how
this item got into my bed.
1159
01:36:23,172 --> 01:36:26,687
This is too much!
Judy, give Gabrielle back the cross.
1160
01:36:33,532 --> 01:36:35,921
What should I think?
She's the world's worst maid!
1161
01:36:36,172 --> 01:36:37,764
Enough! Please!
1162
01:36:41,332 --> 01:36:45,564
What's gotten into you lately? It's like
I live with the kid from the Exorcist!
1163
01:36:46,732 --> 01:36:49,087
Two weeks ago I was like a god to you!
1164
01:36:49,372 --> 01:36:50,930
Now you show me no respect.
1165
01:36:51,612 --> 01:36:53,091
I respect you.
1166
01:36:53,412 --> 01:36:57,724
Accusing me of sleeping with Gabrielle!
You think I'm so low I'd seduce a child?
1167
01:37:00,452 --> 01:37:01,362
Do you?
1168
01:37:06,412 --> 01:37:08,562
Honey, I'm nervous.
1169
01:37:09,292 --> 01:37:11,362
I'm very nervous.
1170
01:37:11,612 --> 01:37:15,685
And I know that once we get married
everything is going to be fine.
1171
01:37:15,932 --> 01:37:17,524
I'm sorry.
1172
01:37:26,452 --> 01:37:30,047
I fly 6,000 miles to attend
my daughter's wedding...
1173
01:37:30,292 --> 01:37:32,089
...and the groom is playing soccer!
1174
01:37:32,332 --> 01:37:35,449
Daddy, he'll be here any minute.
He probably went into overtime.
1175
01:37:35,772 --> 01:37:37,922
Monsieur, my son is very reliable.
1176
01:37:38,172 --> 01:37:40,925
- He will be here shortly.
- It just isn't right!
1177
01:37:45,972 --> 01:37:47,451
Jean-Paul!
1178
01:37:52,212 --> 01:37:53,611
Where is Henri?
1179
01:37:54,252 --> 01:37:57,085
The bum never showed up
for the game. Isn't he here?
1180
01:37:58,212 --> 01:37:59,281
No.
1181
01:37:59,612 --> 01:38:00,647
He never showed up?
1182
01:38:03,972 --> 01:38:07,203
Judy, don't hate me
for saying this or nothing...
1183
01:38:07,452 --> 01:38:11,604
...but you really might be better-off.
1184
01:38:11,852 --> 01:38:13,683
Don't be ridiculous!
1185
01:38:15,372 --> 01:38:19,843
I don't know how to say this, but you
were starting to act a bit weird again.
1186
01:38:20,092 --> 01:38:22,162
What am I going to do?
I'm a wreck.
1187
01:38:22,892 --> 01:38:24,211
He's back!
1188
01:38:28,892 --> 01:38:30,405
You look perfect.
1189
01:38:30,652 --> 01:38:32,210
- Where were you?
- I'm fine.
1190
01:38:32,452 --> 01:38:35,125
No, where were you?
I was so scared.
1191
01:38:35,372 --> 01:38:38,569
- You don't want to know this.
- I do want to know.
1192
01:38:41,092 --> 01:38:42,889
I had to see Claire.
1193
01:38:45,532 --> 01:38:46,487
You were with Claire?
1194
01:38:46,732 --> 01:38:50,327
She is in so much trouble.
You've no idea what I've been through.
1195
01:38:50,572 --> 01:38:54,326
There are 75 people waiting for you.
Couldn't you have phoned?
1196
01:38:54,572 --> 01:38:58,042
- Don't bad French artists have phones?
- She was overwrought.
1197
01:38:58,372 --> 01:39:02,251
Her boyfriend beat her up.
I prescribed a sedative for her to sleep.
1198
01:39:02,492 --> 01:39:04,926
That takes 2 minutes,
you were gone 4 hours.
1199
01:39:05,172 --> 01:39:07,686
The place was a mess.
I hung up clothes and did dishes.
1200
01:39:07,932 --> 01:39:10,048
You did Claire's dishes?
1201
01:39:11,852 --> 01:39:14,525
Shall I stop being nice to people
because we're marrying?
1202
01:39:15,052 --> 01:39:18,203
I just don't understand
how you could be with Claire...
1203
01:39:18,652 --> 01:39:19,482
...today.
1204
01:39:19,732 --> 01:39:22,200
You want to walk down the aisle
with me or not?
1205
01:40:56,492 --> 01:40:58,801
Not so fast.
1206
01:41:01,012 --> 01:41:04,766
I know this is a very
awkward time to do this...
1207
01:41:05,932 --> 01:41:07,206
...but I want to break up.
1208
01:41:07,492 --> 01:41:09,164
She's crazy again.
1209
01:41:09,892 --> 01:41:11,041
Listen to me.
1210
01:41:11,332 --> 01:41:15,848
You're having an anxiety attack.
I'll give you a shot to calm down.
1211
01:41:16,092 --> 01:41:19,084
No, I want to be perfectly conscious
when I call a cab.
1212
01:41:19,332 --> 01:41:22,722
What are you doing to me?
What is this about? Gabrielle?
1213
01:41:23,412 --> 01:41:26,006
I slept with her one night
when you were acting crazy.
1214
01:41:27,292 --> 01:41:29,647
We'll fire her after the wedding.
1215
01:41:33,052 --> 01:41:34,405
You're such a schmuck!
1216
01:41:36,692 --> 01:41:37,522
Daddy...
1217
01:41:37,772 --> 01:41:39,922
...Mom just fainted.
1218
01:41:41,292 --> 01:41:42,611
Schmuck?!
1219
01:41:43,692 --> 01:41:46,047
When I met you,
you were in the Army.
1220
01:41:46,412 --> 01:41:48,721
You were nothing,
picking up strangers in bars!
1221
01:41:48,972 --> 01:41:51,042
- Now just a minute!
- She was.
1222
01:41:51,532 --> 01:41:55,002
I'll give you a future, a home, a name.
For once don't be stupid!
1223
01:41:56,332 --> 01:41:57,685
- There's Claire.
- Where?
1224
01:42:04,492 --> 01:42:05,527
Don't call me stupid.
1225
01:45:12,452 --> 01:45:14,443
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