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1
00:00:13,490 --> 00:00:14,610
Hello.
2
00:00:14,610 --> 00:00:16,410
I saved you
from a walk of shame.
3
00:00:16,410 --> 00:00:18,660
I'll have you know
that the walk of shame
4
00:00:18,660 --> 00:00:20,290
is an anti‐feminist
construct, okay?
5
00:00:20,290 --> 00:00:21,960
Do I look like I'm in shame?
6
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,170
You're not a feminist,
you're just too lazy
to walk.
7
00:00:24,170 --> 00:00:25,920
I wasn't too lazy
to smash with a guy last night
8
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:27,960
who's basically Ryan Gosling.
9
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,260
Hey, Esther,
you forgot your night guard.
10
00:00:30,260 --> 00:00:32,670
Man, Ryan Gosling
really let himself go.
11
00:00:32,670 --> 00:00:34,340
Chubby hairy guys make me
feel skinny and pretty
12
00:00:34,340 --> 00:00:36,340
like Rachel McAdams.
13
00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:38,430
Throw it to me!
I don't want to touch it.
It's moldy!
14
00:00:38,430 --> 00:00:40,970
It's not mold, it's just pesto.
15
00:00:40,970 --> 00:00:42,520
We had barbecue last night.
16
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:43,940
Just throw it down.
17
00:00:43,940 --> 00:00:47,230
You really have to
nudge him to touch stuff.
18
00:00:47,230 --> 00:00:49,440
I didn't have an orgasm.
19
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,610
All right.
Thank you.
20
00:00:51,610 --> 00:00:53,030
Sorry.
21
00:00:55,410 --> 00:00:57,280
Well, that was a short
walk of shame.
22
00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:00,330
Oh, my God,
you're putting that
back in your mouth?
23
00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:01,740
That's where it goes.
24
00:01:01,740 --> 00:01:03,750
Relax. The sprinklers
were just on.
25
00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:05,370
I thought you just
wear that at night.
26
00:01:05,370 --> 00:01:06,920
I've been day‐grinding.
27
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,170
I'm stressed about money
and Boko Haram.
28
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:11,340
Boko Haram is not
in East Hollywood.
You're fine.
29
00:01:11,340 --> 00:01:13,380
You don't know that.
They could be anywhere.
30
00:01:13,380 --> 00:01:16,010
Text me, Esther.
See ya. Nice to meet you.
I'm Benji.
31
00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:17,720
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry, dude.
32
00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:19,430
Uh... this is awkward.
33
00:01:19,430 --> 00:01:22,180
He's just my friend.
Oh, all right.
34
00:01:22,180 --> 00:01:24,730
Yeah, just platonic friends.
I'm not a threat or anything.
35
00:01:24,730 --> 00:01:26,560
All right, stop talking
to my guy.
36
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:27,600
See ya.
37
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,150
Yeah, see ya, man.
38
00:01:29,150 --> 00:01:30,690
Can we go to
the juice place on Third?
39
00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:32,150
I want to do a cleanse.
40
00:01:32,150 --> 00:01:34,360
I'm feeling high
off my one‐night stand.
41
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,650
You know baby voice
doesn't work on me.
I didn't just sleep with you.
42
00:01:36,650 --> 00:01:38,240
You want to ask me
like an adult?
43
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,120
Let's use adult voice
with me, okay?
44
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:41,910
Can we please go
to the juice place on Third?
45
00:01:41,910 --> 00:01:43,750
You're doing baby voice.
Try again.
46
00:01:43,750 --> 00:01:48,120
Cleansing will make me
feel skinny and pretty.
47
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:52,210
♪ Oh oh oh‐oh‐oh ♪
48
00:01:52,210 --> 00:01:54,590
♪ Oh oh ohh ♪
49
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:02,310
What are those?
50
00:02:03,470 --> 00:02:05,270
I don't know.
She's so hot.
51
00:02:05,270 --> 00:02:07,020
It's hot girl food.
52
00:02:07,020 --> 00:02:08,390
Thank you.
53
00:02:08,390 --> 00:02:09,810
Hi.
54
00:02:09,810 --> 00:02:12,230
I'll take a green herb detox
55
00:02:12,230 --> 00:02:16,530
and... the spirulina crisps...
what are those?
56
00:02:16,530 --> 00:02:19,280
Um, is that
what hot girls eat?
Will they make me glow?
57
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:20,870
I don't know.
58
00:02:20,870 --> 00:02:22,200
Right.
59
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,740
Hot girls have secrets,
like magicians.
60
00:02:23,740 --> 00:02:25,200
They don't let anyone know.
61
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,710
I'll take five.
I love them.
62
00:02:28,710 --> 00:02:30,290
Gee.
What?
63
00:02:30,290 --> 00:02:31,830
That's a lot of chips, man.
Chill.
64
00:02:31,830 --> 00:02:33,420
Can I borrow 20 bucks?
65
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:35,840
Are you serious?
I'll pay you back.
66
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:38,050
How is your family so rich
and you're so poor?
67
00:02:38,050 --> 00:02:39,260
I'm not broke or anything.
68
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:40,260
I had my identity stolen,
69
00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:42,100
so I need to just
borrow some cash.
70
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:44,390
Can I get a vitality shot?
Sure.
71
00:02:44,390 --> 00:02:45,470
Thanks.
One vitality shot.
72
00:02:45,470 --> 00:02:48,230
I really like
your nose ring.
Thanks.
73
00:02:48,230 --> 00:02:49,600
I've got a nose for noses
74
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:50,850
that can handle a nose ring.
75
00:02:50,850 --> 00:02:52,980
Most people can't nail it,
76
00:02:52,980 --> 00:02:54,520
but you're, like, nailing it.
77
00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,280
Just in case this is
leading up to asking me out,
78
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:57,780
I am a lesbian.
79
00:02:57,780 --> 00:02:59,280
No problem. I went
to a liberal arts college.
80
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,360
I've dated plenty
of lesbians, and...
81
00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:02,700
Wait, you're a lesbian?
82
00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:05,490
I am to guys under five‐ten.
83
00:03:05,490 --> 00:03:07,620
Oh, okay, we're being mean.
84
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:12,000
You know, shaming a guy
'cause he's short
85
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,380
is like shaming a girl
for being overweight.
86
00:03:13,380 --> 00:03:14,540
We do that here too.
87
00:03:14,540 --> 00:03:16,210
Well, it's wrong.
88
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:18,970
Any chance you guys are hiring?
89
00:03:18,970 --> 00:03:20,970
No.
Got it.
90
00:03:21,970 --> 00:03:24,390
Got it.
91
00:03:24,390 --> 00:03:26,970
Everyone
in that juice place
was the worst.
92
00:03:26,970 --> 00:03:29,230
I know. Ugh.
93
00:03:29,230 --> 00:03:30,480
Is your brother home?
94
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,020
I don't think so.
95
00:03:32,020 --> 00:03:34,520
I think he's in Texas
buying foreclosed homes.
96
00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:37,440
And he's a monster.
I wish he wasn't so hot.
97
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:39,240
You have no chance
with my brother.
98
00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:40,950
You wear your dad's old boxers.
99
00:03:40,950 --> 00:03:42,280
They're vintage.
100
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:43,530
You don't know
anything about style.
101
00:03:43,530 --> 00:03:45,280
That's really intimate.
102
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,740
I think it's pretty obvious
that you have daddy issues.
103
00:03:47,740 --> 00:03:49,450
All the greats
have daddy issues.
104
00:03:49,450 --> 00:03:51,330
Mine is just that, you know,
105
00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:53,120
I'm a constant disappointment
because I don't have
106
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,500
a real job or a steady income,
and I'm a grown adult.
107
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:58,050
I DVR'd a Daria marathon.
You want to watch?
108
00:03:58,050 --> 00:04:00,550
Yeah, let's do it.
109
00:04:00,550 --> 00:04:02,380
I think it's broken.
110
00:04:02,380 --> 00:04:04,590
Hey, dude, I put on
the parental lock
111
00:04:04,590 --> 00:04:07,560
so my shows don't
get deleted by your
stupid cartoons.
112
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:08,510
Come on, man, I live here too.
113
00:04:08,510 --> 00:04:10,560
Wait,
this is your brother?
114
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,480
Yeah. And that's
his squatter friend.
115
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:16,020
I just crash here
sometimes.
Are you homeless?
116
00:04:16,020 --> 00:04:19,150
I actually just
Airbnb my place
for rent money.
117
00:04:19,150 --> 00:04:21,150
There's an oxy addict
living on her sofa.
118
00:04:21,150 --> 00:04:22,900
You don't know that.
He's really sleepy.
119
00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:25,070
My God, you guys are so cute.
120
00:04:25,070 --> 00:04:26,370
I like your accent.
121
00:04:26,370 --> 00:04:27,580
Did you guys meet
at a youth hostel?
122
00:04:27,580 --> 00:04:28,950
We met on an app.
123
00:04:28,950 --> 00:04:30,370
Oh, like a good‐looking
person app?
124
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:31,580
I mean, I didn't say it.
125
00:04:31,580 --> 00:04:32,910
Oh, God.
126
00:04:32,910 --> 00:04:34,580
So, you guys are not dating?
127
00:04:34,580 --> 00:04:36,250
Just 'cause we're both
small and undesirable,
128
00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:37,500
doesn't mean we should date.
129
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:39,050
People think we're
dating 'cause we sit
130
00:04:39,050 --> 00:04:40,510
on the same side of
the booth at restaurants.
131
00:04:40,510 --> 00:04:42,170
It's just easier
to share food that way.
132
00:04:42,170 --> 00:04:44,340
I'll give you guys
$550 each if you guys
133
00:04:44,340 --> 00:04:46,140
have sex with each
other right now.
134
00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:48,140
I'd rather let
an entire Greyhound bus
135
00:04:48,140 --> 00:04:49,810
spit in my mouth
than have sex with Benji.
136
00:04:49,810 --> 00:04:51,390
No offense.
137
00:04:51,390 --> 00:04:52,600
Okay, well, then, you know what?
138
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:53,810
Maybe you need to get
a real girlfriend,
139
00:04:53,810 --> 00:04:55,690
instead of whatever
Esther is, okay?
140
00:04:55,690 --> 00:04:58,310
You guys have sad eyes.
141
00:04:58,310 --> 00:04:59,900
Is that a good thing?
No.
142
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,360
Sad eyes is a bad thing.
143
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,940
You said he wasn't here.
144
00:05:02,940 --> 00:05:04,450
Look, I'm having
a pool party later,
145
00:05:04,450 --> 00:05:06,570
so, why don't you guys...
you can come.
146
00:05:06,570 --> 00:05:08,570
Uh, it might be fun, you know?
147
00:05:08,570 --> 00:05:09,660
Alia's gonna be there.
148
00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:11,370
Your sister's gonna be here?
149
00:05:11,370 --> 00:05:12,660
We gotta go to the party.
150
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:14,500
You guys look like
you could use some sun.
151
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:16,290
I mean, you look like
a sick glow worm.
152
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:19,090
Your racing fuel is here!
153
00:05:19,090 --> 00:05:21,130
Oh, yes! Yes!
154
00:05:21,130 --> 00:05:22,920
I been rollin' around
on 91 octane
155
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,510
like a frickin' normy!
156
00:05:25,510 --> 00:05:27,300
Anyway.
157
00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:29,100
Benji, Benji, Benji, Benji.
158
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:30,430
If I get a job
working for your sister,
159
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:32,600
it will change my life, okay?
160
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,600
Her and all her employees,
161
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,560
they know
all the hot girl secrets.
162
00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:36,810
Esther, you eat bread bowls.
163
00:05:36,810 --> 00:05:38,600
You're not gonna, like,
blend in with them.
164
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,570
Dude, her fashion company
is everything.
165
00:05:40,570 --> 00:05:42,650
I heard about a girl
uglier than me...
166
00:05:42,650 --> 00:05:43,820
What? Listen to me.
167
00:05:43,820 --> 00:05:45,570
I heard about a girl
uglier than me
168
00:05:45,570 --> 00:05:47,240
who got a job working for her.
169
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:50,620
Now she's hot, with
300,000 Instagram followers.
170
00:05:50,620 --> 00:05:52,160
Esther, they don't even
have clothes that fit you.
171
00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:53,830
How are you gonna work there?
172
00:05:53,830 --> 00:05:55,830
I'm just gonna mention
that I have a charged laptop,
173
00:05:55,830 --> 00:05:57,080
and I'm gonna use
my fake personality
174
00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:58,460
I learned at improv class.
175
00:05:58,460 --> 00:05:59,630
Do you know what I'm saying?
176
00:05:59,630 --> 00:06:01,090
It's like, I love fashion,
177
00:06:01,090 --> 00:06:02,670
and, like, I love clothes,
178
00:06:02,670 --> 00:06:03,960
and, like, I love your top.
179
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:05,340
I'm screaming.
180
00:06:05,340 --> 00:06:06,380
Terrifying.
181
00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:07,510
Mm‐hmm.
182
00:06:15,770 --> 00:06:18,560
Okay, I'm ready to go.
183
00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:22,440
Esther, you can't
wear that to a pool party.
184
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,480
This is the most
stylish thing I own.
185
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,650
You look like a Syrian refugee.
186
00:06:26,650 --> 00:06:27,490
I'm not taking fashion tips
187
00:06:27,490 --> 00:06:28,530
from a guy in basketball shorts.
188
00:06:28,530 --> 00:06:29,910
You don't know anything.
189
00:06:29,910 --> 00:06:31,910
I get that I'm
not a fashion person,
190
00:06:31,910 --> 00:06:33,660
but I know my sister
really well,
191
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:36,120
and she's gonna think
you're trying too hard.
192
00:06:38,580 --> 00:06:39,710
Is that better?
193
00:06:39,710 --> 00:06:41,670
Do you have
an actual bathing suit?
194
00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:43,960
I do, but I got it
at the Comedy Store
lost and found,
195
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,380
so it doesn't fit right.
196
00:06:45,380 --> 00:06:46,670
Oh.
197
00:06:46,670 --> 00:06:48,720
Which pose? This...?
198
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,090
We are the ugliest people here.
199
00:06:50,090 --> 00:06:51,390
Yeah, that's true.
200
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,350
...which means
it's not vintage.
201
00:06:55,350 --> 00:06:57,520
Something smells
like cheese and onions.
202
00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:58,480
Baby bro.
203
00:06:58,480 --> 00:06:59,560
Hi, Sarah.
204
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:00,560
'Sup, sis?
205
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,480
Hey.
206
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,480
Oh, my God, I love
your bikini pattern.
207
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,610
It's like everything is so OG.
208
00:07:06,610 --> 00:07:08,240
Mm, thank you.
209
00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:10,530
Yeah, no, thank you.
Thanks for having us.
210
00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:12,320
Um, by the way,
my name's Esther.
211
00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,330
You should hire her.
212
00:07:14,330 --> 00:07:18,200
She has, um,
small hands, and she can
fix sewing machines.
213
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,000
I was like almost a model
for American Girl doll catalog,
214
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,630
but I had a mustard stain
on my cuticle.
215
00:07:23,630 --> 00:07:26,550
Your adorable.
I love your... hair.
216
00:07:26,550 --> 00:07:29,130
Oh, my God, thanks.
I don't wash it
because of the draught.
217
00:07:29,130 --> 00:07:31,630
Esther's way of being cute
is, like, not trying.
218
00:07:31,630 --> 00:07:33,470
She's lazy chic.
219
00:07:33,470 --> 00:07:34,800
I am actually not lazy at all.
220
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:37,560
Um, do lazy people
put fruit in their water?
221
00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,520
They don't.
I'm screaming.
222
00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,350
Please hire her.
She'll work hard,
223
00:07:41,350 --> 00:07:43,350
and, like, you don't
even have to pay her much.
224
00:07:43,350 --> 00:07:45,940
You're, like, so thirsty.
I'm sorry, he's so thirsty.
225
00:07:45,940 --> 00:07:48,570
Like, I just drink
a cup of water, I'm good.
226
00:07:50,530 --> 00:07:51,900
Yeah.
227
00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:53,700
Esther has a permanent
fat wrinkle on her stomach,
228
00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:56,370
and we call it her equator.
229
00:07:56,370 --> 00:07:58,410
Oh, my God,
that's so embarrassing.
230
00:07:58,410 --> 00:07:59,950
I'm gonna go get a refill.
231
00:07:59,950 --> 00:08:01,410
He's good. Everyone's good.
232
00:08:01,410 --> 00:08:02,540
Good, good.
233
00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:03,710
Dude, what are you doing?
234
00:08:03,710 --> 00:08:05,000
Why are you making fun of me?
235
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,670
- Bye.
- You look good today.
236
00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:08,130
You don't get it.
237
00:08:08,130 --> 00:08:09,920
I was trying to be funny.
238
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,050
Watching you talk to hot girls
239
00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:12,300
is like watching a white person
240
00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:14,140
try to explain
why all lives matter.
241
00:08:14,140 --> 00:08:15,390
All you do
is pick on me.
242
00:08:15,390 --> 00:08:16,640
They bicker like an old couple.
243
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:17,640
I know.
244
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:19,220
They should just, you know,
245
00:08:19,220 --> 00:08:20,730
they should just date.
246
00:08:20,730 --> 00:08:22,440
I know. Millennials,
they don't date.
247
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:24,770
They don't even sex.
They just flow through life,
248
00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:27,480
too distracted by how lonely
they really are.
249
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,190
You're a talking penis!
You're a talking penis!
250
00:08:29,190 --> 00:08:31,490
You're a talking penis!
You're a talking penis!
251
00:08:31,490 --> 00:08:32,990
You're a talking penis.
252
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,950
Everybody here thinks
you're a talking penis.
253
00:08:34,950 --> 00:08:36,620
All right, I need to get
you away from me, okay?
254
00:08:36,620 --> 00:08:37,830
I need alone time
with your sister.
255
00:08:37,830 --> 00:08:39,620
I'm gonna find you
a girl to talk to,
256
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:40,790
got it?
257
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:44,710
All right, she's in long pants,
258
00:08:44,710 --> 00:08:46,330
so just give it a try.
259
00:08:46,330 --> 00:08:48,420
...Miss Chanel
is the way to go.
260
00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:51,420
Hey. Sorry to interrupt you.
Super rude, I get it.
261
00:08:51,420 --> 00:08:53,510
This is Benji.
This is his house.
262
00:08:53,510 --> 00:08:56,800
Wow. That...
is so cool.
263
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,800
I'm Charlotte, so...
264
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,140
Wait. That's such
a cool Céline bag.
265
00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:04,770
Oh, thanks!
This is a work gift.
266
00:09:04,770 --> 00:09:05,940
Are you serious?
What do you do?
267
00:09:05,940 --> 00:09:07,730
I'm a nanny.
268
00:09:07,730 --> 00:09:09,230
Whoa, lucky.
269
00:09:09,230 --> 00:09:10,480
I was a nanny, and all I got
270
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:12,150
was a little boy's old shoes.
271
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,610
So, you live here alone, Benji?
272
00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:17,360
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, kind of.
273
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,580
I‐I let my poor friends
crash here.
274
00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:21,660
That's really kind of you.
275
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:23,250
That's my thing, kind.
276
00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:25,540
Everyone's always like,
"You're so kind."
277
00:09:25,540 --> 00:09:28,960
Take her on a tour, stupid!
Yeah, stupid!
278
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,710
I love the way
you called me stupid!
279
00:09:30,710 --> 00:09:32,590
Oh, okay.
280
00:09:32,590 --> 00:09:33,760
See ya.
281
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:36,050
I'm the best wing man.
282
00:09:36,050 --> 00:09:37,890
Yes, thank you.
283
00:09:37,890 --> 00:09:39,510
No offense, Alia,
284
00:09:39,510 --> 00:09:40,760
but I can't eat
any of this food.
285
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,310
Yeah, it's so unhealthy.
286
00:09:42,310 --> 00:09:44,230
I know. I wanted to get,
like, fun party food.
287
00:09:44,230 --> 00:09:46,730
I didn't realize
it was gonna be something
none of us would eat.
288
00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:50,560
That's Allen Iverson.
289
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:51,860
He's small and mighty, like me.
290
00:09:51,860 --> 00:09:53,280
Good show.
This...
291
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:54,820
is my Nolan Ryan rookie card.
292
00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:56,700
It's probably the most
expensive thing I own.
293
00:09:56,700 --> 00:09:59,070
He was a Met. A lot of
people don't know that.
294
00:09:59,070 --> 00:10:00,200
Do you like baseball?
295
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,700
Mmm... I like
Laker floor seats.
296
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:04,620
Okay.
That's something else.
297
00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:06,750
Wait, who are those ladies
that I saw you hanging with
298
00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:08,040
before we met?
299
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,290
Oh, that's just my sister
and her employees.
300
00:10:10,290 --> 00:10:12,250
She runs this fashion company
called Vindication.
301
00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:13,880
What?
302
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,710
Wait, your sister
is Vindication?
303
00:10:15,710 --> 00:10:17,130
Yeah, she started it,
she runs it.
304
00:10:17,130 --> 00:10:18,800
She makes the clothes.
It's all her.
305
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,890
It's just like
my favorite brand ever.
306
00:10:20,890 --> 00:10:22,720
I wear them, like,
every single day.
307
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,810
She made me business cards
that say I'm vice president
308
00:10:24,810 --> 00:10:26,060
to help me meet girls...
do you want one?
309
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:31,230
Mmm... hi.
Hey.
310
00:10:31,230 --> 00:10:33,270
I'm Benji,
vice president
of Vindication.
311
00:10:33,270 --> 00:10:36,690
Third quarter projections
are looking healthy.
312
00:10:36,690 --> 00:10:39,410
You know I'm not really,
like, the vice president
of Vindication.
313
00:10:39,410 --> 00:10:41,200
She just made me
business cards.
I don't care.
314
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,880
You're so cool.
315
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:52,880
Okay. Cool.
316
00:10:54,590 --> 00:10:57,130
Vivian, come on,
your perfume is
getting in my mouth.
317
00:10:57,130 --> 00:10:58,670
I want to smell you,
not taste you.
318
00:10:58,670 --> 00:11:00,760
Hey, do you guys like
spirulina crisps?
319
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,140
I feel like the food here
is just not edible.
320
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:05,560
Um, Edna for the win!
321
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:06,770
Yeah, I, like...
I'm obsessed.
322
00:11:06,770 --> 00:11:08,310
I can't leave my house
without these.
323
00:11:08,310 --> 00:11:09,810
I eat them all the time.
324
00:11:09,810 --> 00:11:11,520
Mmm.
Also, my name is Esther.
325
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:12,730
So, I heard you're hiring,
326
00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:13,860
which is crazy 'cause like,
327
00:11:13,860 --> 00:11:15,520
I'm pretty free.
328
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,820
Hey, Al, meet
my friend Charlotte.
329
00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:20,530
It's so cool to meet you.
I just love your top.
330
00:11:20,530 --> 00:11:23,820
Thank you. I've
actually been dying to
talk bikinis with someone.
331
00:11:23,820 --> 00:11:25,200
Yours...
come on, it's just...
332
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,490
What's going on?
Wait, what do you do?
333
00:11:27,490 --> 00:11:29,040
I'm nannying right now,
but I'm actually
334
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:30,870
just dying to get into fashion.
335
00:11:30,870 --> 00:11:31,790
Oh, my God, you're perfect.
336
00:11:31,790 --> 00:11:33,330
You should come in
and talk to me.
337
00:11:33,330 --> 00:11:34,790
I've been looking for
someone just like you.
338
00:11:34,790 --> 00:11:36,800
It's actually really good
to have experience
339
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,010
cleaning up vomit when
you're dealing with models.
340
00:11:39,010 --> 00:11:41,010
Awesome! Yeah,
I would love that.
341
00:11:41,010 --> 00:11:42,010
Should I come in too?
342
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,010
What just happened?
343
00:11:45,010 --> 00:11:46,010
I think I just got my first
344
00:11:46,010 --> 00:11:47,390
non‐summer camp girlfriend.
345
00:11:47,390 --> 00:11:48,850
Do you think she was
talking to me?
346
00:11:48,850 --> 00:11:50,940
I don't think anyone
was talking to you.
347
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:02,700
Oh, hey.
348
00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:07,160
Why are you wearing
your prom shirt?
349
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,870
Charlotte and I are going
to Mastro's.
350
00:12:08,870 --> 00:12:11,580
Are you serious?
Yeah!
351
00:12:11,580 --> 00:12:14,880
Ooh, you're so happy.
It's so annoying.
352
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,670
What's the problem?
353
00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:17,920
I want to go
to Mastro's someday.
354
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:19,170
I want to try filet medallions.
355
00:12:19,170 --> 00:12:21,050
So save up money,
go to Mastro's.
356
00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:24,220
Charlotte.
First my dream job, then my dream entree.
357
00:12:24,220 --> 00:12:26,100
Are you still mad
about that job?
358
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:27,850
Yeah.
Why don't you just
try to find something
359
00:12:27,850 --> 00:12:29,890
more in your wheelhouse?
360
00:12:29,890 --> 00:12:32,850
Have you thought about,
like, being a notary
or something?
361
00:12:32,850 --> 00:12:34,690
What's up, guys?
Hey, Jeff.
362
00:12:34,690 --> 00:12:36,400
What's up, bro?
How you doing?
Good to see you.
363
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,360
Oh, wow, we're hugging.
You know I don't like hugs.
364
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,570
I know, that's
why I do it to you.
You need affection.
365
00:12:40,570 --> 00:12:42,650
My parents
didn't give me hugs.
It's weird for me.
366
00:12:42,650 --> 00:12:44,240
Adjust.
Okay.
367
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:46,200
Let me ask you a question...
you goin' to a funeral?
368
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,030
What's up with that shirt?
369
00:12:48,030 --> 00:12:50,120
You sitting Shiva?
370
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:51,790
All right.
I taught him Jewish stuff.
371
00:12:51,790 --> 00:12:53,500
Make fun of the guy
trying to find true love.
372
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,710
Thanks, guys.
See you later. Thanks.
373
00:12:55,710 --> 00:12:57,210
Benji's going on a date
with a girl
374
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,090
who only likes him 'cause
he lives in a nice house.
375
00:12:59,090 --> 00:13:00,960
Oh, I only like Benji 'cause
he lives in a nice house.
376
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,800
I know. Same.
377
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,180
I don't know.
Something doesn't
add up about that girl.
378
00:13:05,180 --> 00:13:07,050
Why?
That Miss Chanel
she nannies for
379
00:13:07,050 --> 00:13:09,100
must be crazy rich
if they gave her
a Céline purse.
380
00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:11,100
I nannied for a rich family
for two years,
381
00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:13,640
and my bag is still
a reusable tote.
382
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,810
Um, Miss Chanel's not a person,
383
00:13:15,810 --> 00:13:18,020
it's an escort website.
384
00:13:18,020 --> 00:13:22,030
Shut up. Are you serious?
Oh, absolutely.
385
00:13:22,030 --> 00:13:24,700
So, that's... that's
an escort he's about
to get dinner with?
386
00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:25,990
He's gonna go on a date
with an escort.
387
00:13:25,990 --> 00:13:28,490
I need to tell him,
like, immediately.
388
00:13:28,490 --> 00:13:30,910
Aw, don't ruin it for him.
He's gonna have some
really good escort sex.
389
00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:34,120
Jeff, don't be
disgusting, okay?
That's so criminal.
390
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,960
I don't like
to criminalize sex workers.
391
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,330
How do I prove it to him?
He'll never believe me.
392
00:13:37,330 --> 00:13:38,960
He thinks I'm jealous of him.
393
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,590
You can't see
the ladies' profiles
on the website
394
00:13:41,590 --> 00:13:43,380
unless you're a subscriber.
395
00:13:43,380 --> 00:13:45,130
I don't even have a working
credit card right now.
396
00:13:45,130 --> 00:13:46,130
I don't know how I'd sign up.
397
00:13:46,130 --> 00:13:46,930
I know what you can do.
398
00:13:46,930 --> 00:13:49,090
Make yourself a profile.
Okay.
399
00:13:49,090 --> 00:13:51,310
You'll be like
an escort and you can
see the women that way.
400
00:13:51,310 --> 00:13:52,770
Right, that's safe.
401
00:13:52,770 --> 00:13:54,270
Yeah. Absolutely.
402
00:13:54,270 --> 00:13:55,930
Yeah. No one's
gonna hit me up.
403
00:13:55,930 --> 00:13:57,440
I mean, I would.
404
00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,150
I like fat guys.
This is going nowhere.
405
00:14:00,150 --> 00:14:02,940
You're a real hero.
I know.
406
00:14:02,940 --> 00:14:05,110
Good morning.
Good morning!
Hey there!
407
00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:07,110
I have to talk to you
about something.
408
00:14:07,110 --> 00:14:08,910
Charlotte's not a nanny.
409
00:14:08,910 --> 00:14:10,120
What are you talking about?
410
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:11,830
She's an escort.
411
00:14:13,910 --> 00:14:15,120
Miss Chanel isn't a person.
412
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,660
It's an escort website.
413
00:14:17,660 --> 00:14:19,420
I mean...
that could be anybody.
414
00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:20,920
The face is blurred out.
415
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:22,710
Benji, same hair, same height,
416
00:14:22,710 --> 00:14:25,170
same exact silver handbag.
417
00:14:25,170 --> 00:14:27,630
Oh, no.
Same Ohio State tattoo.
418
00:14:33,970 --> 00:14:35,810
She's three out of five stars.
419
00:14:35,810 --> 00:14:38,140
That's crazy.
Like, she seemed
five‐star to me.
420
00:14:38,140 --> 00:14:41,150
I don't have any basis
of comparison, but...
Who are you texting?
421
00:14:41,150 --> 00:14:42,980
Take a minute to process
what's going on.
422
00:14:42,980 --> 00:14:44,980
This is the worst.
423
00:14:44,980 --> 00:14:46,990
I know, it is really rough,
424
00:14:46,990 --> 00:14:48,320
but you have to end it.
425
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,070
I can't just end it.
426
00:14:50,070 --> 00:14:51,620
She smells like tangerines.
427
00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:53,870
It's apricot,
and this is serious, okay?
428
00:14:53,870 --> 00:14:56,370
You're not the kind
of guy that can roll
with shady people.
429
00:14:56,370 --> 00:14:58,160
What if a pimp shows up
here and demands money?
430
00:14:58,160 --> 00:14:59,790
You won't know what to do.
431
00:14:59,790 --> 00:15:02,000
That's crazy.
Is it? Is it crazy?
432
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,250
Do you even know
what a shank is?
433
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,000
It's street talk for "knife."
434
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,630
You know what...
now that I know
she has a dark side,
435
00:15:06,630 --> 00:15:07,710
I'm kind of into her even more.
436
00:15:07,710 --> 00:15:09,170
It's like dating Catwoman.
437
00:15:09,170 --> 00:15:10,930
If she's here, she'll
use the laundry machine,
438
00:15:10,930 --> 00:15:12,090
our underwear will touch,
439
00:15:12,090 --> 00:15:13,220
and I'll get HPV.
440
00:15:13,220 --> 00:15:14,220
Everyone has HPV.
441
00:15:14,220 --> 00:15:15,430
I don't have HPV,
442
00:15:15,430 --> 00:15:16,600
and I'm the last one without it.
443
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,020
It's a selling point,
444
00:15:18,020 --> 00:15:19,140
and you know I don't
have many of those.
445
00:15:19,140 --> 00:15:20,640
I never get to make out
with anybody.
446
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,190
I haven't done
under‐the‐pants stuff
447
00:15:22,190 --> 00:15:23,980
with a girl since
my ska band broke up.
448
00:15:23,980 --> 00:15:26,400
This is sad.
I thought this would be
fun, but it's just sad.
449
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,610
Yeah, that's fine.
450
00:15:30,780 --> 00:15:32,820
Oh. Oh, wait a minute,
there's more.
451
00:15:33,950 --> 00:15:35,370
Oh, that looks delicious.
452
00:15:35,370 --> 00:15:36,830
Thank you.
453
00:15:36,830 --> 00:15:37,830
Is this too much food?
454
00:15:37,830 --> 00:15:39,370
I feel like I over‐ordered.
455
00:15:39,370 --> 00:15:41,370
No, no, no, no.
You... are a growing girl.
456
00:15:41,370 --> 00:15:42,920
You need to eat.
457
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:44,880
Thanks. I've just
been stressed lately
458
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,000
'cause I have this friend
and he won't listen to me,
459
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:50,090
and I feel like
it's getting in the way
of me getting a real job.
460
00:15:50,090 --> 00:15:51,680
Well, I mean,
you're a standup.
That's a real job.
461
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:53,220
Not to my dad.
462
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:55,470
He says I'm failing
'cause by my age,
463
00:15:55,470 --> 00:15:57,470
Amy Winehouse was already
famous and dead.
464
00:15:57,470 --> 00:15:58,680
That's nonsense.
465
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,600
Amy Winehouse was not an artist.
466
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:03,310
Really?
Oh, no. Ooh, God.
467
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:05,650
Yeah, all my jokes
are really personal
and about me.
468
00:16:05,650 --> 00:16:07,070
Can I hear one?
469
00:16:07,070 --> 00:16:08,690
Sure. The name Esther
isn't, like,
470
00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:11,240
really for a hot girl,
471
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:14,030
so I feel like I'm
"Esther pretty."
472
00:16:14,030 --> 00:16:16,660
That's, like,
as pretty as you can be
with the name Esther.
473
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:22,790
Okay,
no eating during joke time.
474
00:16:24,210 --> 00:16:25,380
Do you really think
it's that funny?
475
00:16:25,380 --> 00:16:27,000
My God, that's brilliant.
476
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,300
It's so cool to talk to you
477
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:29,550
'cause I just, I don't know...
478
00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:30,920
sometimes I think I'm a loser
479
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:34,680
'cause I only own one towel.
480
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,470
Well, I could take you shopping
481
00:16:37,470 --> 00:16:40,270
after this, unless
you think it's weird.
Are you kidding me?
482
00:16:40,270 --> 00:16:41,930
If I was home
in Illinois right now,
483
00:16:41,930 --> 00:16:44,020
that's exactly what I
would be doing with my dad,
484
00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:45,730
so of course that's not weird.
485
00:16:45,730 --> 00:16:47,270
Good. In that case,
486
00:16:47,270 --> 00:16:49,070
I want you to have
some of this soup.
487
00:16:49,070 --> 00:16:51,820
Yes, please.
Mmm. Mmm‐hmm.
488
00:16:51,820 --> 00:16:53,490
I'm glad the job's working out.
489
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:54,910
Yeah, I love it.
490
00:16:54,910 --> 00:16:56,280
I've been getting
tons of free clothes,
491
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,240
but I always get free clothing.
492
00:16:58,240 --> 00:16:59,490
Yeah, I have older siblings too.
493
00:16:59,490 --> 00:17:00,740
Oh, your lift is here.
494
00:17:00,740 --> 00:17:02,120
Wait.
495
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,960
- What?
- Thank you so much.
496
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,460
Okay, you got
everything?
Yeah.
497
00:17:05,460 --> 00:17:07,210
Okay, thanks for a great
evening, Esther.
498
00:17:07,210 --> 00:17:08,710
Listen, I'll PayPal you.
Got it.
499
00:17:08,710 --> 00:17:10,130
Melting gelato.
Gotta run.
500
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,550
Who was that?
501
00:17:11,550 --> 00:17:13,380
Oh, my God,
I totally know that guy.
502
00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:15,180
He used to go out
with my old coworker.
503
00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:18,140
He bought her a Vespa,
which is pretty cool.
504
00:17:18,140 --> 00:17:19,930
Like, a nanny coworker?
505
00:17:19,930 --> 00:17:21,560
Yeah.
506
00:17:24,690 --> 00:17:28,190
Melting gelato?
When do you not finish
your dessert?
507
00:17:28,190 --> 00:17:30,320
You're such a hypocrite.
What are you talking about?
508
00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,400
You acted
all worried about me
for dating Charlotte,
509
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,240
but what's more dangerous
than being an actual escort?
What do you mean?
510
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,990
Charlotte recognized that guy.
She's worked with him before.
511
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:40,120
All we did was eat
mac and cheese, and he
got me a shower caddy.
512
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:43,080
That's it.
You should be ashamed
of yourself.
513
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,410
You're ruining your
family name for free
bathroom essentials.
514
00:17:45,410 --> 00:17:46,710
Don't judge me, okay?
515
00:17:46,710 --> 00:17:48,290
I only got into this
to protect you.
516
00:17:48,290 --> 00:17:50,960
Protect me?
You could literally
get your head cut off!
517
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:53,340
Oh, come on. Warren's not
cutting anyone's head off,
518
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:55,220
not with his rheumatoid
arthritis, okay?
519
00:17:55,220 --> 00:17:57,340
Esther, I'm scared for you.
520
00:17:57,340 --> 00:17:59,390
You weigh, like, 99 pounds.
521
00:17:59,390 --> 00:18:01,350
You think?
Don't be cute.
522
00:18:01,350 --> 00:18:04,430
When guys give girls
money to hang out with them,
523
00:18:04,430 --> 00:18:06,850
they're going to feel
entitled to things.
524
00:18:06,850 --> 00:18:08,650
There's no sex involved.
525
00:18:08,650 --> 00:18:10,480
I've seen you
eat mac and cheese.
It's very sexual.
526
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,110
That may be true,
but you know what?
527
00:18:12,110 --> 00:18:14,150
I have everything
I need from this, okay?
528
00:18:14,150 --> 00:18:15,650
Money to pay down
my student loans,
529
00:18:15,650 --> 00:18:18,610
and emotional support
from a baby boomer.
Let me be.
530
00:18:18,610 --> 00:18:20,320
What happened to the Esther
I used to know?
531
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:23,740
Hannah Montana Esther is
dead. Welcome to Miley.
532
00:18:23,740 --> 00:18:25,950
You should just go.
I'm done with you.
533
00:18:25,950 --> 00:18:27,910
Just don't tell
my sister anything.
534
00:18:27,910 --> 00:18:29,460
I told your sister
about Charlotte.
535
00:18:29,460 --> 00:18:32,290
She's probably
fired her by now. Peace.
536
00:18:32,290 --> 00:18:34,920
That's okay.
Me and Charlotte
have a strong love.
537
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:36,840
Doesn't matter if she
loses that job.
538
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:38,090
Yeah.
539
00:18:42,010 --> 00:18:44,350
Your sister fired me.
540
00:18:44,350 --> 00:18:46,390
Damn it! I hate her.
541
00:18:46,390 --> 00:18:48,230
My sister.
I hate my sister.
542
00:18:48,230 --> 00:18:50,520
I don't know. I'm so upset.
Will you just console me?
543
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,310
Come lay with me,
tell me all about it.
544
00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:55,400
I don't want to,
like, sit and watch
cartoons with you, okay?
545
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,150
"Console me" means, like,
buy me a present.
546
00:18:57,150 --> 00:18:58,400
Ohh. Okay.
547
00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,780
Here's the thing with presents.
548
00:18:59,780 --> 00:19:02,620
You look like someone
who deserves presents.
549
00:19:02,620 --> 00:19:04,530
I want to give you presents.
Thank you.
550
00:19:04,530 --> 00:19:06,290
The thing is, is that
551
00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:07,870
I'm not gonna see my parents
for a couple of days,
552
00:19:07,870 --> 00:19:10,370
and that's when
I get my fresh round
of gift cards.
553
00:19:10,370 --> 00:19:12,670
Okay, you know what?
I'm gonna go.
554
00:19:12,670 --> 00:19:14,290
Don't go, don't go,
come on, please don't go.
555
00:19:14,290 --> 00:19:15,880
Come on. Um...
What?
556
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,880
There's a ton of leftover
booze from the party.
557
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,470
We can make mixed drinks
or something.
558
00:19:19,470 --> 00:19:20,680
That sounds fun, right?
559
00:19:21,930 --> 00:19:23,510
Okay.
Yeah?
560
00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:25,140
I'll have a vodka cranberry
561
00:19:25,140 --> 00:19:27,270
and you have a vodka vodka.
562
00:19:27,270 --> 00:19:29,640
Vodka vodka vodka.
563
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:31,310
It's a Fozzie Bear joke.
564
00:19:31,310 --> 00:19:32,850
I don't...
565
00:19:34,270 --> 00:19:35,360
I'll make our drinks.
566
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:36,530
Okay.
567
00:19:36,530 --> 00:19:38,320
Living in L. A.
is so intimidating.
568
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:39,860
All the girls are so pretty.
569
00:19:39,860 --> 00:19:42,410
I have to drive
to Van Nuys just
to take a spin class.
570
00:19:42,410 --> 00:19:44,410
Come on, Esther,
I will not let you
571
00:19:44,410 --> 00:19:46,240
talk about yourself like that.
572
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,700
You are a young, beautiful girl.
573
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:52,080
And my cheekbones...
you can see them?
574
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:55,170
Are you kidding?
Ray Charles can see
those cheekbones.
575
00:19:55,170 --> 00:19:58,260
I don't know who that is,
but he sounds so nice.
576
00:19:58,260 --> 00:20:01,470
Honestly, Warren, you've
been so supportive of me.
577
00:20:01,470 --> 00:20:04,470
I just don't want you
to ever doubt yourself.
578
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:05,720
I guess.
579
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,310
Pinky swear.
580
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:09,730
Okay.
581
00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:14,060
What are you doing?
582
00:20:14,060 --> 00:20:16,820
Eww! Aah!
Wha wha wha wha...!
583
00:20:16,820 --> 00:20:19,480
Ugh!
I thought we were
feeling the sa...
584
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:23,200
Where the hell
did I park my car?
585
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:26,450
Wake up.
Benji, wake up.
586
00:20:26,450 --> 00:20:28,330
Hey, I've been day‐drinking.
587
00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:30,330
I'm really, really
creeped out right now.
588
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:32,960
The old guy I met
online who paid me to eat
macaroni wearing sweatpants
589
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:34,880
turned out to be a total creep.
590
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,460
Really?
591
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:39,170
I can't believe I'm saying this,
592
00:20:39,170 --> 00:20:40,510
but I should have
listened to you.
593
00:20:40,510 --> 00:20:42,050
Well, firstly, you've
got to stop dating guys
594
00:20:42,050 --> 00:20:43,970
who have 12‐year‐old
girl fetishes.
595
00:20:43,970 --> 00:20:47,260
It's really hard.
Look, man, you just
gotta accept it...
596
00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:48,720
you're not a fashionista,
597
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,720
you're not an escort,
you're an Esther.
598
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:52,680
Wait, where's Charlotte?
We're supposed to go
599
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,730
to the farmer's market
like tall couples do.
600
00:20:54,730 --> 00:20:56,350
Charlotte!
She's not here.
601
00:20:56,350 --> 00:20:58,440
The house was empty
when I got here.
602
00:20:59,570 --> 00:21:00,940
Oh, my God!
603
00:21:00,940 --> 00:21:02,530
My baseball card is missing!
604
00:21:02,530 --> 00:21:03,950
Did Charlotte rob you?
605
00:21:03,950 --> 00:21:05,200
You're victim shaming me.
606
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,070
Benji, relax, okay?
607
00:21:07,070 --> 00:21:09,490
Look, one day
your trust fund's
gonna kick in,
608
00:21:09,490 --> 00:21:12,450
and you'll meet someone
who likes you for you.
609
00:21:12,450 --> 00:21:14,250
Thanks?
610
00:21:14,250 --> 00:21:15,790
Let's just promise
that we're not gonna do
611
00:21:15,790 --> 00:21:18,250
any more escort stuff
and move on with our lives.
612
00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:20,380
You're right.
We're done with escorting.
613
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:22,460
Okay, fine. Right.
We're done, right?
614
00:21:22,460 --> 00:21:25,340
Are you sure
this is a good way
to get over Charlotte?
615
00:21:25,340 --> 00:21:26,640
You're gonna find love
with an escort
616
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,550
come hell or high water.
617
00:21:28,550 --> 00:21:30,390
I'm kinda nervous.
I got the cheapest one.
618
00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:31,770
I hope she's pretty.
619
00:21:33,730 --> 00:21:35,940
Hi, I'm Alicia Silverstein.
620
00:21:35,940 --> 00:21:38,060
I'm here to meet Nolan.
621
00:21:41,150 --> 00:21:43,940
Ugh.
622
00:21:43,940 --> 00:21:46,200
The two of you were meant
to be together,
623
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:47,490
like O. J. and jail.
624
00:21:47,490 --> 00:21:50,370
The universe is gonna get
what it wants.
625
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,330
I like your sex worker outfit.
626
00:21:54,330 --> 00:21:56,330
Thank you.
627
00:21:56,330 --> 00:21:58,380
I like your
Eddie Munster costume.
628
00:21:58,380 --> 00:21:59,630
Did you rob an 11‐year‐old?
629
00:21:59,630 --> 00:22:01,630
Is that where you got
this outfit from?
630
00:22:01,630 --> 00:22:03,630
You rob a slutty 11‐year‐old?
631
00:22:03,630 --> 00:22:05,840
This is what I've always
wanted to look like.
632
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,590
Is it really?
Yeah.
633
00:22:07,590 --> 00:22:10,640
You look like
the Jewish version
of Annie, the musical.
634
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,390
That's actually way...
that's crazy,
635
00:22:12,390 --> 00:22:14,560
'cause that is literally
what you look like.
636
00:22:16,350 --> 00:22:18,270
That is so insane,
637
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:19,980
'cause that is you.
638
00:22:19,980 --> 00:22:21,860
Can we go?
For real, can we go?
No.
639
00:22:21,860 --> 00:22:23,860
These nachos
aren't gonna travel.
This is $30 worth of food.
640
00:22:23,860 --> 00:22:25,150
I'm not letting it go to waste.
641
00:22:25,150 --> 00:22:26,570
I'm from the Midwest.
642
00:22:26,570 --> 00:22:27,820
We don't waste food.
643
00:22:27,820 --> 00:22:29,820
Well, if we're gonna
be here forever,
644
00:22:29,820 --> 00:22:31,740
I found this shady
European website,
645
00:22:31,740 --> 00:22:34,580
and you can stream episodes
of Daria for free.
646
00:22:34,580 --> 00:22:35,830
Sure, I'm down.
647
00:22:37,620 --> 00:22:39,620
Are we gonna die alone?
648
00:22:39,620 --> 00:22:41,630
You know, I've
put a lot of thought
into that, and yeah.
649
00:22:41,630 --> 00:22:43,380
Right.
Well, you know what?
650
00:22:43,380 --> 00:22:44,630
Small talk with dying people
651
00:22:44,630 --> 00:22:46,590
is super uncomfortable anyways.
652
00:22:46,590 --> 00:22:48,590
I know.
When my Nana was dying,
653
00:22:48,590 --> 00:22:51,010
out of habit, I was like,
"How's life?"
654
00:22:51,010 --> 00:22:53,470
She, like, died, like,
an hour later.
655
00:22:53,470 --> 00:22:54,760
Life was sixty minutes.
656
00:22:55,020 --> 00:22:56,645
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