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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,065 --> 00:00:05,598 FROM HERE ON OUT - Kill or be Kilt (103) 2 00:00:13,353 --> 00:00:15,716 Call sheet says you're the director. 3 00:00:15,785 --> 00:00:16,563 Wut? 4 00:00:16,772 --> 00:00:17,840 Hola, Mr. TV Man. 5 00:00:18,026 --> 00:00:19,808 There might be a part for you in my TV show. 6 00:00:19,914 --> 00:00:21,352 I'm very, very shy. 7 00:00:22,354 --> 00:00:24,823 - Rico! - Sean! 8 00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:26,386 Should I tell you that I can't swim? 9 00:00:26,499 --> 00:00:27,734 Definitely good to know 10 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,343 Oh, no!!! Don't worry! I'll save you! 11 00:00:30,404 --> 00:00:31,268 He's dead. 12 00:00:31,350 --> 00:00:33,671 The impact of the fall must have knocked off his swimsuit. 13 00:00:33,814 --> 00:00:34,904 No tongue in the sex scenes. 14 00:00:35,179 --> 00:00:36,761 He said, no tongue! 15 00:00:37,088 --> 00:00:38,033 Stop being straight! 16 00:00:38,522 --> 00:00:39,296 What! 17 00:00:39,364 --> 00:00:41,201 Gay actor, or no Gay Spy Show. 18 00:00:41,322 --> 00:00:42,475 We have got to make a pact. 19 00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:44,340 You are gay! 20 00:00:47,772 --> 00:00:48,687 (sexy music) 21 00:00:49,867 --> 00:00:51,566 Stop it! Ooh oh! 22 00:00:51,661 --> 00:00:53,347 Yeah! Spank me! 23 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:55,919 Yeah. 24 00:00:56,302 --> 00:00:58,983 Yeah, spank me sweetie *slap* 25 00:00:59,370 --> 00:01:01,446 ♪slap♪ Sam, are you ready? 26 00:01:02,005 --> 00:01:02,895 Rico! 27 00:01:03,138 --> 00:01:04,770 Hola, Mr. Jimmy! 28 00:01:05,001 --> 00:01:06,470 What are you doing? 29 00:01:06,811 --> 00:01:09,264 What's your name? – Patric. 30 00:01:09,519 --> 00:01:10,735 I'm doing Patric. 31 00:01:11,069 --> 00:01:13,634 Okay, and who's Patric? 32 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:17,408 - Cousin. – Friend. 33 00:01:17,768 --> 00:01:19,919 We are a very friendly family. 34 00:01:20,196 --> 00:01:21,459 I see that. 35 00:01:21,966 --> 00:01:23,832 You wanna join us in? You can be our uncle. 36 00:01:24,129 --> 00:01:26,077 We're being very bad. 37 00:01:26,214 --> 00:01:28,177 - Ooh. – Rico, you know you shouldn't be in here! 38 00:01:28,377 --> 00:01:29,829 Out! This is Sam's dressing room! 39 00:01:30,042 --> 00:01:31,997 Oh! It's a dressing room! 40 00:01:32,975 --> 00:01:35,621 I thought Devina said it was an UNdressing room! 41 00:01:35,906 --> 00:01:38,139 My boo-boo! Let's go, cousin! 42 00:01:44,412 --> 00:01:46,469 ♪knocking♪ Sam, you in there? 43 00:01:46,664 --> 00:01:48,115 - They gone? - Ugh, sorry about that. 44 00:01:48,297 --> 00:01:49,257 Lemme see! 45 00:01:51,321 --> 00:01:53,231 Who's gonna believe I'm a serious spy in this? 46 00:01:53,422 --> 00:01:54,740 I have belts wider than this. 47 00:01:55,045 --> 00:01:56,833 This episode's called Kill or be Kilt, 48 00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:58,285 nor Kill or be Mini-Kilt. 49 00:01:58,634 --> 00:02:02,298 Well, you make it look, uh, masculine… ish 50 00:02:03,862 --> 00:02:05,459 Why aren't we shooting? 51 00:02:05,763 --> 00:02:09,428 The crew is having a "Non-Union Meeting" 52 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,372 either about money or, if we're lucky, yesterday's 53 00:02:12,608 --> 00:02:15,642 tuna salad sandwiches. Dude, that tuna did taste funky. 54 00:02:15,865 --> 00:02:18,593 This is so hard! How am I supposed to shoot 55 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:21,156 a second episode… season on no money? 56 00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:22,952 I mean, we blew the budget on the first 57 00:02:23,146 --> 00:02:25,022 episode. Well here's some good news. 58 00:02:25,364 --> 00:02:27,999 Everyone's buying that you and I are a couple. – Oh. 59 00:02:28,499 --> 00:02:30,407 This morning I updated my facebook status to 60 00:02:30,598 --> 00:02:33,020 in a relationship. – Ugh! Already? 61 00:02:33,298 --> 00:02:34,324 We just started fake 62 00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:37,002 hooking up! Don't get all lesbian 63 00:02:37,229 --> 00:02:38,728 on me and rush into things. 64 00:02:38,921 --> 00:02:40,727 At least accept my damn request! It's awkward 65 00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:43,146 dating someone that's not even on my friends list. 66 00:02:43,366 --> 00:02:44,511 I've sorta been busy. 67 00:02:44,708 --> 00:02:46,833 You know, Jimmy, maybe, uh, you 68 00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:48,932 should take our relationship a little more seriously. 69 00:02:49,287 --> 00:02:50,888 I just fake came out to everyone I know 70 00:02:51,132 --> 00:02:52,882 this morning and got 216 likes! 71 00:02:53,108 --> 00:02:55,779 It's been a very accepting experience! 72 00:02:56,136 --> 00:02:58,828 I'm sorry. That's sweet. 73 00:02:59,084 --> 00:03:01,595 Thanks! That's all I wanted. 74 00:03:02,193 --> 00:03:04,835 I've been a bad boy! – Why, what did you do? 75 00:03:05,084 --> 00:03:06,955 Just spank me, Uncle Jimmy! – Ah, oh. 76 00:03:07,192 --> 00:03:08,252 Oh yeah. Spank. 77 00:03:08,473 --> 00:03:11,107 Spank me hard! I've been very bad! 78 00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:14,573 ♪slap♪ Yes, yes. 79 00:03:15,454 --> 00:03:16,915 (door closes) All right. 80 00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:18,895 ♪slap, slap, slap, slap♪ 81 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,164 From here on out 82 00:03:24,475 --> 00:03:27,135 There is no more second best 83 00:03:28,659 --> 00:03:31,057 Erase all doubt 84 00:03:31,741 --> 00:03:33,739 I'm better than the rest! 85 00:03:35,168 --> 00:03:36,608 I used to stand aside, 86 00:03:37,820 --> 00:03:40,220 While others plowed ahead, 87 00:03:41,768 --> 00:03:44,614 But now I'm taking charge 88 00:03:44,897 --> 00:03:48,087 My wings are gonna spread. 89 00:03:50,643 --> 00:03:53,289 Don't underestimate me 90 00:03:54,065 --> 00:03:56,662 So listen, here's the deal. 91 00:03:57,746 --> 00:03:59,971 To those who think I'm broken 92 00:04:00,688 --> 00:04:03,083 Look out! I'm at the wheel 93 00:04:05,238 --> 00:04:08,332 From here on out 94 00:04:09,357 --> 00:04:15,565 Everybody cheer! scream and shout! 95 00:04:16,759 --> 00:04:19,540 Get used to it. I'm here! 96 00:04:26,316 --> 00:04:27,946 (busy office music) 97 00:04:28,317 --> 00:04:29,696 Morning, Dotty. 98 00:04:29,967 --> 00:04:30,946 Hold it right there, Randell! 99 00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:33,489 Where do you think you're going? – I need to see Taylor! 100 00:04:33,783 --> 00:04:34,955 Are you an employee? 101 00:04:35,228 --> 00:04:36,434 Did you have a stroke? 102 00:04:36,801 --> 00:04:37,884 You know who I am. 103 00:04:38,179 --> 00:04:40,172 I do. And you need an appointment. 104 00:04:40,419 --> 00:04:42,675 And I'm not seeing one here! 105 00:04:42,931 --> 00:04:45,527 Mr Nukem does have an opening 106 00:04:45,739 --> 00:04:47,592 a week on Tuesday, shall I pensil you in? 107 00:04:47,852 --> 00:04:49,551 Dotty, I am in a hurry! 108 00:04:49,791 --> 00:04:51,167 We need to start shooting soon. 109 00:04:51,448 --> 00:04:53,513 Well, I shall notify Mr Nukem of your 110 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,572 time constraints when he comes out 111 00:04:55,770 --> 00:04:57,308 of a very important meeting. 112 00:04:57,588 --> 00:04:59,148 Or when I feel like it! 113 00:04:59,820 --> 00:05:01,137 Would you like a juice box 114 00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:03,024 while you're waiting? In silence? 115 00:05:06,263 --> 00:05:07,912 Thank you. 116 00:05:08,605 --> 00:05:11,440 But, as you know, time is money. 117 00:05:11,957 --> 00:05:13,547 The company that Taylor 118 00:05:13,806 --> 00:05:16,075 is president of's money. 119 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,163 Don't put that down there! 120 00:05:23,555 --> 00:05:26,159 Were you raised by Neanderthal gypsies? 121 00:05:26,351 --> 00:05:27,981 Or what? USE THE COASTER! 122 00:05:28,081 --> 00:05:28,926 Oh… 123 00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,449 Sorry! 124 00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:35,349 Sorry isn't going to cut it, 125 00:05:35,642 --> 00:05:38,244 that table costs 12 thousand dollars! 126 00:05:38,518 --> 00:05:40,909 WHAT! gah! ah! 127 00:05:41,453 --> 00:05:43,075 Who's gonna pay 12 thousand dollars for 128 00:05:43,316 --> 00:05:45,310 an okay ish coffee table! That's insane! 129 00:05:46,071 --> 00:05:49,330 I looked it up, it's an original Luigi! 130 00:05:49,628 --> 00:05:51,220 It's a piece of art! 131 00:05:51,682 --> 00:05:53,768 It's an Ampersand! 132 00:05:55,587 --> 00:05:57,301 Randell, 133 00:05:57,683 --> 00:06:01,087 did Taylor eat anything at that 134 00:06:01,334 --> 00:06:04,434 TV Show yesterday that I didn't pack for him? 135 00:06:04,694 --> 00:06:07,430 I… I think he had a tuna salad sandwich. 136 00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:11,068 Then that's why he threw up on Brad! 137 00:06:11,347 --> 00:06:12,905 Unbelievable! Ugh! 138 00:06:13,298 --> 00:06:15,557 I told him never to eat anything 139 00:06:15,805 --> 00:06:17,518 you filthy show-people touch! 140 00:06:19,108 --> 00:06:20,447 (stomach gurgling) 141 00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:23,868 Taylor? 142 00:06:24,226 --> 00:06:25,812 You got a minute? - Wuddup Dawg? 143 00:06:26,496 --> 00:06:27,865 I was gonna come watch filming 144 00:06:28,077 --> 00:06:29,727 today, but I have to stay 145 00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:31,883 near the office dealing with a few unexpected 146 00:06:32,162 --> 00:06:34,009 emergencies (stomach gurgling) 147 00:06:34,259 --> 00:06:35,708 Well, I just wanted to let you know 148 00:06:35,918 --> 00:06:37,642 that money came very tight. 149 00:06:37,843 --> 00:06:39,992 Hold that thought. BRAD, get in here and take notes! 150 00:06:40,209 --> 00:06:42,328 Just one minute, I gotta fini… - NOW! 151 00:06:46,584 --> 00:06:49,971 So, what is up with this whole, uh 152 00:06:50,331 --> 00:06:53,616 s-e-x thing with you and Guy Dubai? 153 00:06:55,257 --> 00:06:56,960 Oh well, uh, uh. 154 00:06:57,313 --> 00:07:00,354 Sam and I just have this instant 155 00:07:01,048 --> 00:07:03,836 chemistry together…. – Oh, chemistry! 156 00:07:04,168 --> 00:07:05,964 Good, good. - I sure don't it… 157 00:07:10,526 --> 00:07:12,422 Did I say that out loud? – Little bit. 158 00:07:12,701 --> 00:07:15,919 And what about, uh, everything else? 159 00:07:16,158 --> 00:07:18,110 Like you being way older 160 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:19,390 than him and stuff? 161 00:07:19,723 --> 00:07:22,529 Oh, well, I'm probably not THAT 162 00:07:22,751 --> 00:07:24,983 much older than Sam. - And, uh, what 163 00:07:25,202 --> 00:07:26,573 about him being, like, way hotter 164 00:07:26,754 --> 00:07:28,457 than you and stuff? – Wow. 165 00:07:28,759 --> 00:07:30,982 Aheh… well, we're just attracted 166 00:07:31,197 --> 00:07:32,243 to eachothers minds. 167 00:07:32,537 --> 00:07:33,582 Ahahahahahah! 168 00:07:35,518 --> 00:07:37,304 That's priceless. 169 00:07:37,815 --> 00:07:39,186 Priceless, Brad, are you getting this? 170 00:07:39,416 --> 00:07:41,356 Uh, why are we taking notes? 171 00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:43,889 No reason! Well, there is a reason, 172 00:07:44,114 --> 00:07:47,010 but I'm not going to tell you until next episode! 173 00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:49,116 Next episode! 174 00:07:49,628 --> 00:07:53,486 New York saw an early cut of season one 175 00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:56,015 of Guy Dubai International Gay Spy, 176 00:07:56,253 --> 00:07:58,048 you know, the Hawaiian episode and 177 00:07:58,267 --> 00:08:01,202 they have decided to expand season two! 178 00:08:01,444 --> 00:08:03,168 It is now a full two episodes! 179 00:08:04,034 --> 00:08:05,413 That is TERRIFIC! 180 00:08:05,747 --> 00:08:09,076 Yay! A two Episode season two! 181 00:08:09,335 --> 00:08:12,877 Wow! Well now 182 00:08:13,052 --> 00:08:14,164 we can put more money in the show, 183 00:08:14,321 --> 00:08:16,158 because the crew… - Brad, listen 184 00:08:16,418 --> 00:08:19,648 I promised New York that if we 185 00:08:19,878 --> 00:08:21,695 bundled season two 186 00:08:21,936 --> 00:08:23,225 into a full two episodes, 187 00:08:23,488 --> 00:08:25,895 costs would go down, so I am 188 00:08:26,112 --> 00:08:27,665 cutting your budget by 10%. 189 00:08:27,887 --> 00:08:29,906 That's not possible! 190 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,043 We're barely paying people as it is. 191 00:08:32,231 --> 00:08:34,262 Calm down! Calm down! Once the show 192 00:08:34,439 --> 00:08:36,276 starts airing and my new promotion plan 193 00:08:36,455 --> 00:08:39,787 kicks in, advertizers will be begging 194 00:08:40,027 --> 00:08:42,461 for ad time. We'll get a green light 195 00:08:42,719 --> 00:08:45,236 for an unprecedented third season! 196 00:08:45,534 --> 00:08:47,238 Which means we're a hit. And we start 197 00:08:47,459 --> 00:08:49,033 crankin' out episode after episode. 198 00:08:49,235 --> 00:08:50,211 There's no stopping us! 199 00:08:50,319 --> 00:08:51,400 Box DVD sets! 200 00:08:51,606 --> 00:08:54,173 Syndication! The crowd roars! 201 00:08:54,418 --> 00:08:57,198 Roar. – Roar. 202 00:08:59,073 --> 00:09:00,902 Taylor! If you could just 203 00:09:01,111 --> 00:09:02,532 get us two thousand dollars more, 204 00:09:02,744 --> 00:09:04,348 I could make this work. 205 00:09:05,910 --> 00:09:07,332 I double your season 206 00:09:07,605 --> 00:09:09,931 and you nag about money? 207 00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:13,528 Where is the love? 208 00:09:13,807 --> 00:09:15,655 It's there. It's 209 00:09:15,994 --> 00:09:19,396 it's buried under a thin layer of reality, 210 00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:21,323 but it's there! 211 00:09:21,736 --> 00:09:23,983 That's the spirit (stomach gurgling). Now, out 212 00:09:24,210 --> 00:09:26,324 both of you. I need to lay 213 00:09:26,551 --> 00:09:27,656 my head on my desk until 214 00:09:27,913 --> 00:09:29,107 my tummy feels better (continued stomach gurgling) 215 00:09:34,406 --> 00:09:36,244 (farts and groans) 216 00:09:38,418 --> 00:09:39,499 By the way, 217 00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,570 congratulations on dating Sam. It's 218 00:09:45,165 --> 00:09:47,014 unbelievable. – Thanks. 219 00:09:48,372 --> 00:09:50,161 And while we're alone, I was wondering 220 00:09:50,522 --> 00:09:51,892 if I could talk to you a minute, uh 221 00:09:52,154 --> 00:09:53,727 about the show. 222 00:09:53,987 --> 00:09:55,939 Are you gonna ask me for a roll? 223 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:57,852 Heh heh! No, of course not. 224 00:09:58,526 --> 00:10:00,125 I'd be happy with a small one. 225 00:10:00,790 --> 00:10:01,726 Brad! 226 00:10:02,009 --> 00:10:03,847 You're just an office worker 227 00:10:04,096 --> 00:10:05,813 at Here TV. Guy Dubai is 228 00:10:06,031 --> 00:10:07,911 a professional cable television show 229 00:10:08,179 --> 00:10:09,853 with real actors. 230 00:10:10,093 --> 00:10:12,116 You gave that maid a part. 231 00:10:14,001 --> 00:10:16,001 Yes, but she's a talented actress 232 00:10:17,632 --> 00:10:19,674 and she brings something else to 233 00:10:19,888 --> 00:10:23,434 the table as well. A free location. 234 00:10:27,782 --> 00:10:30,130 Well, then, Jimmy, 235 00:10:30,387 --> 00:10:32,051 I can bring 236 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,028 something to the table, too. 237 00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:38,046 I'm listening. 238 00:10:39,845 --> 00:10:41,523 Free office supplies. 239 00:10:41,946 --> 00:10:43,093 Oh! 240 00:10:43,519 --> 00:10:45,540 Brad! Ooh! 241 00:10:45,869 --> 00:10:49,271 Poor, naive Brad! – What! 242 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:51,054 I'm a producer now! 243 00:10:51,187 --> 00:10:54,086 I've known where the supply room was my first day of auditions. 244 00:10:54,274 --> 00:10:56,295 You're gonna have to do much better 245 00:10:56,503 --> 00:10:57,995 than that. Excuse me. 246 00:10:58,137 --> 00:10:59,344 I have a crew to bribe with 247 00:10:59,577 --> 00:11:01,995 free pink highlighters and toilet seat covers. 248 00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:04,058 ♪fart, fart♪ Brad! Potty emergency! 249 00:11:04,299 --> 00:11:06,319 Man your stations, this is not a drill! 250 00:11:06,537 --> 00:11:06,862 ♪fart♪ 251 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:10,106 Okay, you just might need one of these 252 00:11:10,357 --> 00:11:11,871 I took the last box. 253 00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:16,399 (spy music) 254 00:11:22,489 --> 00:11:25,110 (squirt sounds) 255 00:11:27,736 --> 00:11:29,943 ♪plane flying noise, interrupted by geese♪ 256 00:11:32,068 --> 00:11:35,699 (bagpipe music) Fiona! Fiona! 257 00:11:36,211 --> 00:11:39,318 Enough with the Bleedin' Bagpipes! 258 00:11:39,563 --> 00:11:41,782 (bagpipes fade off sadly) What's so important that you be shouting 259 00:11:42,006 --> 00:11:45,084 clear across Locknee Village Tavern about, Haggis? 260 00:11:45,297 --> 00:11:46,282 I was just wondering what 261 00:11:46,457 --> 00:11:47,899 you might be recommending for dinner? 262 00:11:48,111 --> 00:11:50,083 Me specials today are me rumbledethumps 263 00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:52,293 with a side of me Tattles and neeps. 264 00:11:52,492 --> 00:11:55,126 I am not a hottie tottie! 265 00:11:55,327 --> 00:11:58,803 No one touches my Tatties and Neeps! 266 00:11:59,111 --> 00:12:00,159 Cut! 267 00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:03,749 Devina, uh, tatties is 268 00:12:04,078 --> 00:12:06,485 Scottish for potatoes, and Neeps 269 00:12:06,691 --> 00:12:09,046 are turnips. He is just ordering food! 270 00:12:09,303 --> 00:12:12,098 Ohhh! Good. Okay. Okay. 271 00:12:12,291 --> 00:12:14,353 From Fiona's tatties and neeps line 272 00:12:14,562 --> 00:12:16,543 and ACTION! 273 00:12:18,327 --> 00:12:19,982 I'm sure you'd enjoy me 274 00:12:20,222 --> 00:12:22,112 rumbledethumps with a side of me Tatties 275 00:12:22,363 --> 00:12:24,414 and neeps. They are delicious 276 00:12:24,624 --> 00:12:26,929 Scottish food and not dirty at all! 277 00:12:27,156 --> 00:12:29,391 I'll take a wee platefull! 278 00:12:31,504 --> 00:12:32,714 We don't get many visitors 279 00:12:32,928 --> 00:12:34,573 in this village, stranger! 280 00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:35,840 Who are ye? 281 00:12:36,127 --> 00:12:38,575 I'm Dubai. Guy Dubai. I'm here on 282 00:12:38,798 --> 00:12:40,944 International business. 283 00:12:41,314 --> 00:12:42,357 Take a load off 284 00:12:42,463 --> 00:12:44,006 and I'll be right with ye! 285 00:12:45,452 --> 00:12:46,638 Popular place! 286 00:12:49,337 --> 00:12:50,849 Every seat taken but this one. 287 00:12:51,101 --> 00:12:52,488 Mind if I join you? 288 00:12:52,783 --> 00:12:54,296 Tis a free country, 289 00:12:54,395 --> 00:12:56,323 laddie! Or it used to be. 290 00:12:56,554 --> 00:12:57,630 What's your name? 291 00:12:57,976 --> 00:13:00,271 Haggis. – Haggis. 292 00:13:01,495 --> 00:13:02,675 Can't help but notice 293 00:13:02,889 --> 00:13:04,707 that your penis has been circumcised. 294 00:13:04,946 --> 00:13:07,476 You're not from around these parts, are you? 295 00:13:07,658 --> 00:13:09,818 Not originally. But you'll learn 296 00:13:10,042 --> 00:13:13,101 that once folks find their way to Locknee Village, 297 00:13:13,289 --> 00:13:15,638 they hardly find their way out. 298 00:13:18,439 --> 00:13:19,557 Name yer poison. 299 00:13:19,792 --> 00:13:22,678 I'd prefer to use cyanide, but sometimes 300 00:13:22,883 --> 00:13:25,130 I use… oh! There's a word 301 00:13:25,126 --> 00:13:26,415 that catches my eye. 302 00:13:26,620 --> 00:13:28,948 I'll take a big serving of that. 303 00:13:29,194 --> 00:13:32,009 One cock-a-leekie soup, coming up! 304 00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:35,179 You're not wearing a kilt! 305 00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:38,306 Kilts be the law in Locknee or else! 306 00:13:38,570 --> 00:13:40,125 Peter, Paul, and Mary! 307 00:13:40,413 --> 00:13:43,390 The Kilt Inspector coming straight for us! 308 00:13:43,617 --> 00:13:45,239 Take off your clothes. 309 00:13:45,403 --> 00:13:47,177 I thought I'd have my Cock-a-leekie first, 310 00:13:47,395 --> 00:13:48,797 but if you insist! 311 00:13:59,935 --> 00:14:01,399 Perfect! 312 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:03,734 (door opening) 313 00:14:04,946 --> 00:14:06,708 Well, well, well. 314 00:14:07,827 --> 00:14:09,076 (suspenseful music) 315 00:14:09,814 --> 00:14:10,839 Let's see who we've got 316 00:14:10,902 --> 00:14:12,894 in Locknee Village tavern tonight, shall we? 317 00:14:13,214 --> 00:14:14,883 Course, we have 318 00:14:15,082 --> 00:14:16,556 our dear Fiona. 319 00:14:16,808 --> 00:14:19,217 Evening, Mr. Kilt Inspector sir! 320 00:14:19,523 --> 00:14:21,392 Let's have a wee peak, shall we? 321 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,716 There's a good lassie. Carry on. 322 00:14:29,437 --> 00:14:30,565 Haggis! 323 00:14:30,839 --> 00:14:34,182 This must be the Kilt inspector's lucky day! 324 00:14:39,595 --> 00:14:41,242 Excellent. 325 00:14:42,278 --> 00:14:43,773 Very patriotic. 326 00:14:44,125 --> 00:14:46,055 I, uh wouldn't mind 327 00:14:46,223 --> 00:14:48,650 playing a tune on those bags and that pipe, eh? 328 00:14:48,845 --> 00:14:51,437 And who do we have here? 329 00:14:54,907 --> 00:14:56,930 Someone who doesn't let the likes of you 330 00:14:57,227 --> 00:14:58,335 look up his kilt. 331 00:14:58,569 --> 00:15:00,694 Is that so? (dramatic music) 332 00:15:03,201 --> 00:15:04,502 He's wearing knickers! 333 00:15:04,877 --> 00:15:06,211 He's wearing knickers! 334 00:15:06,454 --> 00:15:08,719 And me forgetting to bring my handcuffs! 335 00:15:08,977 --> 00:15:10,928 I'll cuff him with me spare pair! 336 00:15:11,186 --> 00:15:12,444 And I thought you were helping me. 337 00:15:16,133 --> 00:15:17,454 I was. 338 00:15:18,111 --> 00:15:18,783 But this… 339 00:15:19,656 --> 00:15:20,659 is more interesting… 340 00:15:21,037 --> 00:15:22,388 Wearing knickers under a kilt. 341 00:15:22,690 --> 00:15:25,251 What are you a spy? – If I was, 342 00:15:25,579 --> 00:15:26,687 I wouldn't tell you! 343 00:15:27,041 --> 00:15:29,327 Ohh… not saying if you're a spy or not, eh? 344 00:15:29,612 --> 00:15:32,093 I'll just have to collect me some evidence. 345 00:15:37,094 --> 00:15:38,891 Cut! 346 00:15:39,315 --> 00:15:40,871 Devina! 347 00:15:41,304 --> 00:15:44,129 I only had to stop for your ONCE! 348 00:15:44,482 --> 00:15:45,765 Very good! 349 00:15:45,964 --> 00:15:47,723 Okay, well, you know let's just take 350 00:15:47,852 --> 00:15:49,662 a 30 minute lunch break, because that little 351 00:15:49,861 --> 00:15:51,325 meeting this morning cut into our time. 352 00:15:51,524 --> 00:15:53,010 Jimmy, we're leaving. 353 00:15:53,236 --> 00:15:55,839 What? – We're getting paid half of what we deserve, 354 00:15:56,072 --> 00:15:57,708 so we're working half days. 355 00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,902 What, I'm uh, guys! no no! 356 00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:01,605 I'm working on getting us more money! 357 00:16:01,825 --> 00:16:02,986 I promise I am! 358 00:16:03,603 --> 00:16:06,063 Oh, hey, hey, guess what, guess what, 359 00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:09,260 uh, we just got picked up for a third episode! 360 00:16:15,021 --> 00:16:17,715 So are you two a couple? – Aha. 361 00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:19,982 But you just met and you never 362 00:16:20,211 --> 00:16:23,190 kiss and touch, and touch, and kiss… 363 00:16:23,563 --> 00:16:25,727 We touch and kiss all the time when we're alone. 364 00:16:25,995 --> 00:16:27,997 Why don't you kiss for us! 365 00:16:28,275 --> 00:16:29,221 Ohhh! Kiss, kiss! 366 00:16:30,516 --> 00:16:33,017 Don't you disapprove of gay sex? 367 00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:36,374 No, only slutty whore sex like this one do! 368 00:16:36,676 --> 00:16:39,196 That's why I pray, devil come out! - Heh heh! 369 00:16:39,253 --> 00:16:41,354 But it's love, it's good! 370 00:16:41,665 --> 00:16:43,574 You two kiss! Kiss kiss kiss kiss! 371 00:16:44,845 --> 00:16:47,283 Okay. Come on, hunny. 372 00:16:49,782 --> 00:16:51,309 Well… Only if you're in the mood. 373 00:16:53,848 --> 00:16:54,926 Alright. 374 00:16:58,264 --> 00:17:00,235 Do this all the time… 375 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,314 Uh… no… (dorky music playing) 376 00:17:03,446 --> 00:17:04,542 Okay… 377 00:17:08,090 --> 00:17:09,307 Hehehehe. 378 00:17:10,967 --> 00:17:12,351 Eyyy, that was terrible! 379 00:17:12,847 --> 00:17:14,382 My pee pee just fell off! 380 00:17:14,454 --> 00:17:15,559 Mine, too! 381 00:17:15,829 --> 00:17:17,913 Let's go, so they can practice! 382 00:17:18,574 --> 00:17:20,064 They kiss like sick birds that 383 00:17:20,325 --> 00:17:21,500 are about to die soon. 384 00:17:31,261 --> 00:17:34,521 We may have to work on our public affection. I don't want people thinking 385 00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:35,700 I can't please my man! 386 00:17:36,734 --> 00:17:38,533 Dude! You friended me! 387 00:17:39,428 --> 00:17:40,471 Of course. 388 00:17:40,666 --> 00:17:42,678 Holy shit! 384 likes 389 00:17:42,866 --> 00:17:44,787 on my relationship status update. 390 00:17:45,025 --> 00:17:47,800 I cannot believe the frikkin crew walked out! 391 00:17:47,847 --> 00:17:49,424 THIS SUCKS. 392 00:17:50,174 --> 00:17:52,441 But the great news is we already got the go-ahead 393 00:17:52,517 --> 00:17:54,513 for the third episode! I bet in the history 394 00:17:54,731 --> 00:17:56,763 of television a few series lasted less than 395 00:17:57,012 --> 00:17:58,323 that. Make us legit. 396 00:17:59,716 --> 00:18:00,802 It's gonna look so cool on my 397 00:18:00,987 --> 00:18:03,193 IMDB page. – Well, don't get your hopes up yet. 398 00:18:03,451 --> 00:18:04,847 If we can't get this episode 399 00:18:05,022 --> 00:18:06,976 done on budget, it's over, we're sunk! 400 00:18:07,195 --> 00:18:11,124 Come on, it's only money! We'll think of something! 401 00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:14,116 - Any ideas? – I got nothing. 402 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:15,739 Well, 403 00:18:16,124 --> 00:18:18,918 not unless we want to risk getting arrested. 404 00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:20,754 I'm listening. 405 00:18:22,484 --> 00:18:23,885 (mischievous music) 406 00:18:25,513 --> 00:18:26,637 (elevator ding) 407 00:18:30,564 --> 00:18:32,392 (elevator dings to close) 408 00:18:32,972 --> 00:18:33,916 Okay. 409 00:18:34,010 --> 00:18:35,647 Okay, it's gonna be a snap! 410 00:18:35,816 --> 00:18:37,178 It's right there. 411 00:18:37,428 --> 00:18:39,950 That's worth 12 thousand dollars? 412 00:18:40,064 --> 00:18:41,183 I know, it's zaney! 413 00:18:41,372 --> 00:18:42,366 (crash sound) 414 00:18:43,675 --> 00:18:45,502 Just grab one end! 415 00:18:46,632 --> 00:18:48,351 Just what do you think you're doing? 416 00:18:49,437 --> 00:18:50,754 Dotty! 417 00:18:51,245 --> 00:18:52,661 (dorky music) 418 00:18:53,388 --> 00:18:54,384 We're… 419 00:18:54,575 --> 00:18:56,079 What are we doing? – Um… 420 00:18:56,810 --> 00:18:57,852 We were just 421 00:18:58,098 --> 00:19:00,153 saving the show, that's what we were doing. 422 00:19:00,411 --> 00:19:02,317 By stealing?! – NO! 423 00:19:02,545 --> 00:19:04,411 Let's say… 424 00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:06,338 reinvesting assets! 425 00:19:06,598 --> 00:19:08,261 That's good! Let's call it that! 426 00:19:08,512 --> 00:19:10,567 Oh… this is getting interesting. 427 00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:12,728 Maybe we should savor the moment 428 00:19:12,958 --> 00:19:14,659 and have ourselves a snort. 429 00:19:15,485 --> 00:19:16,465 Okay… 430 00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:18,258 Could use one of those. 431 00:19:20,711 --> 00:19:22,941 Never seen that cot before. 432 00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:24,859 What, do you sleep here? 433 00:19:25,147 --> 00:19:27,292 I don't think this is really about me 434 00:19:27,481 --> 00:19:29,729 right now, is it? 435 00:19:31,528 --> 00:19:32,966 Cheers. 436 00:19:33,446 --> 00:19:34,743 ♪glasses clinking♪ 437 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,292 Ooh, hoo! 438 00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:44,552 So, you were explaining 439 00:19:44,916 --> 00:19:48,454 why, uh, stealing is reinvesting. 440 00:19:48,697 --> 00:19:52,284 So I don't report you for robbery, right? 441 00:19:52,564 --> 00:19:53,565 Hm. 442 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:56,686 Bottoms up. 443 00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,185 ♪glasses clinking♪ 444 00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:03,025 Well, as you know, 445 00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:05,100 Taylor's hands are tied, 446 00:20:05,297 --> 00:20:06,522 regarding the budget, but 447 00:20:06,697 --> 00:20:07,707 yet, here's this 448 00:20:07,861 --> 00:20:10,669 12 thousand dollars coffee table. 449 00:20:10,872 --> 00:20:13,558 Oh God this is boring, this is so boring! 450 00:20:13,752 --> 00:20:15,278 Let's hit it again. 451 00:20:17,613 --> 00:20:19,022 Mud in your eye! 452 00:20:20,582 --> 00:20:21,930 ♪glasses clinking♪ 453 00:20:24,387 --> 00:20:28,060 So, tell me why I shouldn't have you two boys arrested? 454 00:20:28,277 --> 00:20:32,202 For peeping at a lady in her nightie. 455 00:20:32,487 --> 00:20:34,079 Hahahaha. 456 00:20:34,622 --> 00:20:35,867 Gotcha! 457 00:20:38,168 --> 00:20:40,409 Oh, please, I don't even think 458 00:20:40,617 --> 00:20:43,384 about sex anymore. Aheh. 459 00:20:43,629 --> 00:20:46,651 But I would love somebody to rub my little corns. 460 00:20:47,837 --> 00:20:48,995 ♪clears throat♪ 461 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:51,857 Let's have another shot. 462 00:20:52,988 --> 00:20:54,293 Here, have another one. 463 00:20:55,969 --> 00:20:57,531 Just a little quick one. 464 00:20:57,772 --> 00:20:58,848 (glasses clinking) 465 00:21:05,912 --> 00:21:08,041 Has anybody got a camera? 466 00:21:09,390 --> 00:21:10,891 Oh, I do! 467 00:21:11,067 --> 00:21:12,352 Ahah, yes. 468 00:21:12,574 --> 00:21:15,111 You two boys get up there with the table, 469 00:21:16,687 --> 00:21:18,128 stand up, hold the table up 470 00:21:19,527 --> 00:21:20,613 pick it up! 471 00:21:23,237 --> 00:21:26,372 Now, put your... put your faces through those holes. 472 00:21:26,682 --> 00:21:28,703 It's gonna be a good shot, hehe. 473 00:21:29,218 --> 00:21:30,362 Ahahaha. 474 00:21:30,624 --> 00:21:31,861 That's a good one. 31915

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