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1
00:00:09,781 --> 00:00:11,641
Go ahead, Tom. I'm listening.
2
00:00:11,641 --> 00:00:12,630
Hi, Dr. Crane.
3
00:00:12,630 --> 00:00:14,945
Uh, it's about my girlfriend.
4
00:00:14,945 --> 00:00:17,584
My problem is, I don't know
if I love her for herself
5
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:20,306
Or because things are so great
between us physically.
6
00:00:20,306 --> 00:00:22,143
Well, how long have you two been together?
7
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Six years.
8
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And the sex is still that good?
9
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Oh man, Dr. Crane, every morning, night,
10
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three times a day on weekends.
11
00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:36,681
But I'm not sure we have much else in common.
12
00:00:36,681 --> 00:00:39,355
Well, common interests are of
course the foundation of...
13
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three times, you say?
14
00:00:43,229 --> 00:00:44,585
Is that abnormal?
15
00:00:44,585 --> 00:00:48,524
Well, uh, no, no, it's not abnormal.
16
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It's not fair, but it's not abnormal.
17
00:00:51,473 --> 00:00:55,352
Um, but you know, perhaps you
share more things than you
18
00:00:55,352 --> 00:00:56,989
think you do actually.
19
00:00:56,989 --> 00:00:58,465
I'll tell you what, try this:
20
00:00:58,465 --> 00:01:01,525
why don't you pick up a catalogue
from a local university,
21
00:01:01,525 --> 00:01:02,456
go through it with her and see if
22
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there are any courses you'd like to take together?
23
00:01:04,615 --> 00:01:07,004
That's a good idea! Thanks, Doc.
24
00:01:07,004 --> 00:01:08,013
Have a great weekend.
25
00:01:08,013 --> 00:01:12,743
Well, I'd wish you the same but
it hardly seems necessary.
26
00:01:12,743 --> 00:01:13,967
Well, that's it for today, Seattle.
27
00:01:13,967 --> 00:01:18,756
This is Dr. Frasier Crane,
wishing you all good mental health.
28
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Niles called from the airport;
29
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he wants you to call him back.
30
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He sounded frantic!
31
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I'll call him from the car.
32
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He's flying to a conference in Switzerland;
33
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I promised to talkhim through it.
34
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Surely he's flown before?
35
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Well, not coach!
36
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Roz, is this the dress you're
wearing to the wedding?
37
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I have to, I'm a bridesmaid.
38
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Is there a reason it has to be so, so...?
39
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Hideous?
40
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It's supposed to be, so that way, the bride,
41
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By comparison, will glow!
42
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Next to this baby, she'll light
up like a bug zapper.
43
00:01:55,819 --> 00:01:57,546
You know, of all my friends in Wisconsin,
44
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this girl was the last one I thought
would beat me to the altar.
45
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Not the Dairy State's comeliest chunk of cheddar?
46
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Let's just say she works in her
father's ice cream parlour
47
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and she eats her mistakes.
48
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The groom's family makes cones.
49
00:02:10,905 --> 00:02:15,039
Oh, well, we don't need Freud for that, do we?
50
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The whole thing is just so depressing.
51
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Lately everyone I know is settling down,
52
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getting married, having children.
53
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What am I doing wrong?
54
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Well, do you want me to answer
as a friend, or a therapist?
55
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As a friend!
56
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See a therapist.
57
00:02:31,617 --> 00:02:33,478
Frasier!
58
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Well, Roz, I think your whole problem stems from
59
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some unresolved issues that cause you
to choose the men you date.
60
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Always flashy and superficial,
offering no prospect
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of a lasting relationship.
62
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Why would I do that?
63
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Maybe fear of commitment, fear of being hurt.
64
00:02:50,208 --> 00:02:53,805
But maybe it's time you started
looking at different kinds of men.
65
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You know, men who are more settled,
a little less flash
66
00:02:57,314 --> 00:02:59,506
and more substance.
67
00:02:59,506 --> 00:03:01,425
You're probably right, Frasier.
68
00:03:01,425 --> 00:03:02,239
Hey, if I were smart,
69
00:03:02,239 --> 00:03:09,212
I'd go out with the next guy I see
I'm not the least bit attracted to.
70
00:03:09,212 --> 00:03:10,580
Roth, Roth, I juth bit my tongue.
71
00:03:10,580 --> 00:03:13,091
Can you kith it and make it better?
72
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The next one after him.
73
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,179
Oh, Doc, Doc.
74
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Here's my video camera.
75
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Oh, thank you, Bulldog.
76
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What do you need it for?
77
00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:22,297
Well, I'm going to record my father.
78
00:03:22,297 --> 00:03:25,660
I'm going to have hislife on tape
so Frederick can enjoy it in years to come.
79
00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:26,792
What a good idea!
80
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Whoa! That's the ugliest thing I ever saw!
81
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I'm going to a wedding.
82
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Oh, I love weddings.
83
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Never been to a wedding where
I didn'tbag at least one bridesmaid.
84
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And the uglier the dress, thequicker
they want to get out of them.
85
00:03:39,188 --> 00:03:43,780
This one would hit the floor before the rice!
86
00:03:43,780 --> 00:03:45,433
I've got to get going.
87
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Can you believe I actually have to
be seen in public in this thing?
88
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Well, Roz, it's only for a few hours.
89
00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:53,212
After that you can donate it
to the Salvation Army...
90
00:03:53,212 --> 00:03:55,678
and one day make some Irish drag queen very happy.
91
00:04:01,514 --> 00:04:03,091
What's the point of going to
Switzerland without spending a
92
00:04:03,091 --> 00:04:03,987
day on the slopes?
93
00:04:03,987 --> 00:04:05,848
So I ducked out of the conference and who
94
00:04:05,848 --> 00:04:09,033
should I run into, but Maris?
95
00:04:09,033 --> 00:04:13,701
She'd just flown in for heryearly
goat placenta treatments!
96
00:04:13,701 --> 00:04:17,998
Good Lord, is it placenta
treatment time again already?
97
00:04:17,998 --> 00:04:19,527
We had a set-to on the slopes.
98
00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:21,802
She ran, I tried to followher tracks in the snow,
99
00:04:21,802 --> 00:04:27,010
but alas, she made none.
100
00:04:27,010 --> 00:04:28,659
Oh, dear...
101
00:04:28,659 --> 00:04:29,648
What is it? What's the matter?
102
00:04:29,648 --> 00:04:31,626
I just spotted someone.
103
00:04:31,626 --> 00:04:33,413
It's my least favorite patient.
104
00:04:33,413 --> 00:04:35,513
The man's a compulsive womaniser.
105
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He goes through so many women,
he calls them all by the same odious nickname,
106
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"Sunshine," to avoid slip-ups.
107
00:04:40,663 --> 00:04:42,184
Oh, God.
108
00:04:42,184 --> 00:04:45,003
Frasier, what do you do when
you don't like a patient?
109
00:04:45,003 --> 00:04:47,795
Well, it's a tricky subject, isn't it?
110
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How long have you been seeing him?
111
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Six months.
112
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We've made no progress whatsover.
113
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Sometimes Ifeel he comes in not
so much for help as to brag.
114
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He claimsto have been with, at last count,
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one hundred and fifty women!
116
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Oh puh-leease!
117
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A hundred and fifty!
118
00:05:03,006 --> 00:05:08,665
As if anything over, say... seven weren't absurd.
119
00:05:08,665 --> 00:05:16,677
Well, I would say eleven, but I get your point.
120
00:05:16,677 --> 00:05:21,424
Oh, now serving one hundred and fifty-one.
121
00:05:21,424 --> 00:05:23,757
Good God! He's here to see Roz?
122
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:26,318
Yes, well, no doubt they met
when Sealy Posturepedic named
123
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them Man and Woman of the Year.
124
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Niles, you don't understand.
125
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She-she'sbeen very vulnerable lately.
126
00:05:33,227 --> 00:05:34,762
Well, I hope you'll forgive me
if I don't stick around.
127
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I'd like to leave before she makesintroductions.
128
00:05:36,677 --> 00:05:38,548
I've got to warn her!
129
00:05:38,548 --> 00:05:40,467
Warn her how?
130
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What I just told you was in strict confidence,
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therapist to therapist.
132
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You can't go repeating it!
133
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But-but-
134
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No!
135
00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:47,401
Oh... of course, of course,
you're right, I won't.
136
00:05:47,401 --> 00:05:51,816
But that is the last man that Roz should be with!
137
00:05:51,816 --> 00:05:52,318
Well, don't worry.
138
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Knowing Roz, he won't be.
139
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Hey, Frasier!
140
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Oh, Roz!
141
00:05:58,655 --> 00:06:00,473
I'd like to introduce you to someone.
142
00:06:00,473 --> 00:06:02,332
This is Ben Collins.
143
00:06:02,332 --> 00:06:03,962
Frasier Crane, pleasure.
144
00:06:03,962 --> 00:06:05,061
Likewise.
145
00:06:05,061 --> 00:06:06,132
Is it all right if we join you?
146
00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:07,577
Oh, why not??
147
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I'll grab our coffees.
148
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He is the greatest guy!
149
00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:16,899
You know, when I first met him,
I thought, "He's not my type."
150
00:06:16,899 --> 00:06:18,806
Then I remembered what you said.
151
00:06:18,806 --> 00:06:20,871
And I'm so glad you gave me that advice, Frasier,
152
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because without it, I would never
have given him a second look.
153
00:06:23,405 --> 00:06:27,682
Well, Roz, let's not rule out
that all-important third look.
154
00:06:27,682 --> 00:06:29,700
Would you stop worrying about me, Frasier?
155
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This one'sdifferent.
156
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I can tell he really cares about me.
157
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Here you go, Sunshine!
158
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Why can't you be like other dogs?
159
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Why can't you bring home bones
or animals you kill?
160
00:06:55,377 --> 00:06:57,428
Give me those!
161
00:06:57,428 --> 00:07:02,421
Relax, I'm just going to put them
with the roses you picked yesterday.
162
00:07:02,421 --> 00:07:05,293
Oh hey, Dad! Fresh from your walk?
163
00:07:05,293 --> 00:07:08,492
I think now is as good a time as
any to crank up the ol' camcorder.
164
00:07:08,492 --> 00:07:09,709
Nah, maybe later.
165
00:07:09,709 --> 00:07:12,219
Oh Dad, you've been saying "no" for weeks now!
166
00:07:12,219 --> 00:07:15,673
Well, gee, some people would take that for a hint!
167
00:07:15,673 --> 00:07:18,141
All you have to do is just sit
here and talk about yourlife.
168
00:07:18,141 --> 00:07:19,593
Life's got nothing to do with it!
169
00:07:19,593 --> 00:07:20,911
This is about me dying and you having
170
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something to look at after I'm dead.
171
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The wholething gives me the creeps!
172
00:07:25,664 --> 00:07:29,109
I can't believe you're refusing to record your history,
173
00:07:29,109 --> 00:07:31,664
thestory that only you, Martin Crane, can tell,
174
00:07:31,664 --> 00:07:33,804
because it gives you the creeps!
175
00:07:33,804 --> 00:07:36,263
OK then, I'll tell you the real truth.
176
00:07:36,263 --> 00:07:40,367
My Indian heritage forbids it.
177
00:07:40,367 --> 00:07:46,183
I'm afraid your magic box will rob me of my spirit.
178
00:07:46,183 --> 00:07:47,616
I don't know why you're being so negative about this.
179
00:07:47,616 --> 00:07:48,921
It'snot really for when you're dead.
180
00:07:48,921 --> 00:07:52,436
It's for when you've lostyour mind.
181
00:07:52,436 --> 00:07:53,039
Hey, Frasier.
182
00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:54,303
Oh hello, Roz!
183
00:07:54,303 --> 00:07:55,868
Why, after waiting for forty-five minutes,
184
00:07:55,868 --> 00:07:58,251
did I assume you'd forgotten our appointment?
185
00:07:58,251 --> 00:08:02,021
Sorry, but uh... I was on my way out, when Ben called.
186
00:08:02,021 --> 00:08:03,410
Oh yes... Ben.
187
00:08:03,410 --> 00:08:04,840
Oh, what's with you?
188
00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,319
Every time I bring him up, you make thatface.
189
00:08:07,319 --> 00:08:10,076
I'm getting the sense that you
don't like him that much.
190
00:08:10,076 --> 00:08:11,595
It's just that I know something about Ben...
191
00:08:11,595 --> 00:08:14,067
What?
192
00:08:14,067 --> 00:08:16,184
He's a little old for you.
193
00:08:16,184 --> 00:08:17,650
He's thirty-six!
194
00:08:17,650 --> 00:08:18,392
Exactly my point!
195
00:08:18,392 --> 00:08:19,576
When you were a freshman, he was a senior.
196
00:08:19,576 --> 00:08:21,185
That never works out!
197
00:08:21,185 --> 00:08:22,448
I'm getting my briefcase!
198
00:08:22,448 --> 00:08:24,846
I'll go get a Coke.
199
00:08:24,846 --> 00:08:26,000
Oh, hi, Daphne!
200
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,646
Hello, Roz. How are you?
201
00:08:27,646 --> 00:08:30,829
OK... can I ask you something?
202
00:08:30,829 --> 00:08:32,787
Does Frasier seem weird to you-?
203
00:08:32,787 --> 00:08:35,908
Oh God, yes.
204
00:08:35,908 --> 00:08:37,443
I haven't finished my question yet.
205
00:08:37,443 --> 00:08:38,843
Yes, well, when you know the answer,
206
00:08:38,843 --> 00:08:42,273
it's hard not to hit thebuzzer.
207
00:08:42,273 --> 00:08:43,931
Well, this is strange.
208
00:08:43,931 --> 00:08:45,925
I mean, for the first time in years,
209
00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:47,632
I'm in a really solid relationship,
210
00:08:47,632 --> 00:08:51,329
and instead of being happy for me,
Frasier seems upset.
211
00:08:51,329 --> 00:08:56,185
Oh, that is odd. Unless...
212
00:08:56,185 --> 00:08:57,550
Unless what?
213
00:08:57,550 --> 00:08:58,953
Well...
214
00:08:58,953 --> 00:09:02,526
Dr. Crane is jealous of Benbecause
he wants you for himself.
215
00:09:02,526 --> 00:09:04,405
Huh?
216
00:09:04,405 --> 00:09:07,305
Ohhh, no, no, no!
217
00:09:07,305 --> 00:09:08,954
Yes, what else could it be?
218
00:09:08,954 --> 00:09:10,193
Fra-Frasier?
219
00:09:10,193 --> 00:09:11,486
What, you really think so?
220
00:09:11,486 --> 00:09:15,186
Daphne, no! No way! No, he doesn't -
221
00:09:15,186 --> 00:09:18,514
Frasier is the one who told me to
find myself a new boyfriend.
222
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:20,837
Someone who is settled, someone more nurturing, someone
223
00:09:20,837 --> 00:09:22,594
with substance over flash.
224
00:09:22,594 --> 00:09:26,282
They could put that on Dr. Crane's tombstone.
225
00:09:26,282 --> 00:09:27,647
Oh, come on! No way!
226
00:09:27,647 --> 00:09:29,357
Yes! Wait, there's something else.
227
00:09:29,357 --> 00:09:30,596
What?
228
00:09:30,596 --> 00:09:31,912
I probably shouldn't tell you this.
229
00:09:31,912 --> 00:09:34,785
But earlier this morning, Dr. Crane was on the phone
230
00:09:34,785 --> 00:09:36,224
with his brother and he said that
231
00:09:36,224 --> 00:09:39,146
your relationship with Ben was driving him crazy,
232
00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:41,554
and that he was dying to tell you but he can't.
233
00:09:41,554 --> 00:09:44,615
Oh my God, did you hear him say that?!
234
00:09:44,615 --> 00:09:45,892
I certainly did!
235
00:09:45,892 --> 00:09:48,091
Oh, this is too weird, this is too weird!
236
00:09:48,091 --> 00:09:49,059
What am I going to say?
237
00:09:49,059 --> 00:09:50,195
Maybe I won't say anything.
238
00:09:50,195 --> 00:09:51,800
Maybe he'll just see how happy I am with Ben.
239
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,302
Oh, Ben, Ben, Ben!
240
00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:55,232
My God, Roz, would you just drop it with
241
00:09:55,232 --> 00:09:59,816
Ben for a minute and pay some attention to me?
242
00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:01,241
Oh-kaay!
243
00:10:09,223 --> 00:10:10,194
Morning, Roz!
244
00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:11,066
Hi, Frasier!
245
00:10:11,066 --> 00:10:13,843
Hey, you look lovely, that
colour's very flattering!
246
00:10:13,843 --> 00:10:14,557
Thanks.
247
00:10:14,557 --> 00:10:16,620
You know, I think this calls for a hug!
248
00:10:16,620 --> 00:10:17,637
Oh, I don't look that good.
249
00:10:17,637 --> 00:10:20,183
No, no, no, no, Roz.
250
00:10:20,183 --> 00:10:20,969
Look!
251
00:10:20,969 --> 00:10:22,860
My God, the ratings are in,
and we did better in our timeslot
252
00:10:22,860 --> 00:10:24,324
this week than ever before!
253
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:28,891
Congratulations, partner!
254
00:10:28,891 --> 00:10:31,890
Why don't we have dinner tonight, celebrate?
255
00:10:31,890 --> 00:10:36,326
That sounds so fun... but I kinda have plans.
256
00:10:36,326 --> 00:10:37,566
I should have known.
257
00:10:37,566 --> 00:10:39,015
Another time, perhaps.
258
00:10:39,015 --> 00:10:41,665
Yeah sure, that sounds great.
259
00:10:41,665 --> 00:10:42,538
Yo, Doc.
260
00:10:42,538 --> 00:10:43,987
When are you going to return my video camera?
261
00:10:43,987 --> 00:10:46,301
I got a hot date tonight and
I want to record certain events
262
00:10:46,301 --> 00:10:48,818
for posterity, if you know what I mean.
263
00:10:48,818 --> 00:10:50,377
Uh... tomorrow, Bulldog.
264
00:10:50,377 --> 00:10:53,279
Well, maybe tonight you could
just have a police sketch artist
265
00:10:53,279 --> 00:10:57,995
crouch on your balcony.
266
00:10:57,995 --> 00:10:59,997
So Mom, let me ask you something.
267
00:10:59,997 --> 00:11:03,354
How long did you know Dad before
you told him youloved him?
268
00:11:03,354 --> 00:11:07,001
Mom? Mom? Mom, you've been
divorced fifteen years!
269
00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:09,922
Let it go!
270
00:11:09,922 --> 00:11:13,132
Listen, Ben is coming over to
dinner tonight, and I think
271
00:11:13,132 --> 00:11:15,977
I'm going to tell him I love him.
272
00:11:15,977 --> 00:11:17,306
I gotta work, bye!
273
00:11:17,306 --> 00:11:18,620
Oh I'm, I'm sorry, Roz.
274
00:11:18,620 --> 00:11:20,008
I should have knocked.
275
00:11:20,008 --> 00:11:21,421
It's OK, it's OK, it's OK!
276
00:11:21,421 --> 00:11:27,253
I couldn't help overhearing the
last part of your conversation there.
277
00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:30,413
You think you're not rushing
things a little bit with Ben?
278
00:11:30,413 --> 00:11:32,815
Are you really that serious?
279
00:11:32,815 --> 00:11:34,199
Yes, I am.
280
00:11:34,199 --> 00:11:37,491
But you know, there are a lot of men in the world.
281
00:11:37,491 --> 00:11:41,643
And lots of women, too!
282
00:11:41,643 --> 00:11:45,916
Well, that's more of a personal preference but I...
283
00:11:45,916 --> 00:11:47,824
I meant for you!
284
00:11:47,824 --> 00:11:50,841
Look, Frasier, what I'm trying to say is
285
00:11:50,841 --> 00:11:53,265
I know you have a problem with me and Ben,
286
00:11:53,265 --> 00:11:56,356
but we're happy together.
287
00:11:56,356 --> 00:11:58,997
Well, it's just that you've only
been going out for a month!
288
00:11:58,997 --> 00:12:01,601
Well, sometimes, that's all it takes.
289
00:12:01,601 --> 00:12:03,751
Fifteen seconds!
290
00:12:03,751 --> 00:12:06,907
Listen Frasier, I'd like to think that
291
00:12:06,907 --> 00:12:09,719
there's some small part of you that is happy for me.
292
00:12:09,719 --> 00:12:13,664
Afterall, it WAS your advice that got me this far!
293
00:12:13,664 --> 00:12:15,419
Of course I'm happy for you.
294
00:12:15,419 --> 00:12:19,216
Thanks.
295
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:23,367
Me and my stupid advice...
296
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:27,218
will be with you for the next
three hours, Seattle!
297
00:12:30,439 --> 00:12:31,836
I'm not doing it, it's morbid.
298
00:12:31,836 --> 00:12:33,030
It's not morbid.
299
00:12:33,030 --> 00:12:34,207
And besides, if you don't do it,
300
00:12:34,207 --> 00:12:36,528
the only footage we'll have of
you in the family archives is you
301
00:12:36,528 --> 00:12:41,108
pretending your stomach was a face
that summer at the lake.
302
00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:43,429
Alright Niles, if it'll shut you up, I'll do it.
303
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,570
Thanks, Dad!
304
00:12:44,570 --> 00:12:48,085
We'll make this quick and easy.
305
00:12:48,085 --> 00:12:48,906
Is that what you're wearing?
306
00:12:48,906 --> 00:12:49,469
Forget it.
307
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:50,906
No, no no, all right.
308
00:12:50,906 --> 00:12:54,491
Here we go, here we go.
309
00:12:54,491 --> 00:12:55,241
OK...
310
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:56,874
My name's Martin Crane.
311
00:12:56,874 --> 00:13:00,886
When I made this tape, I was sixty-four years old.
312
00:13:00,886 --> 00:13:08,587
But now... I'm DEAD!
313
00:13:08,587 --> 00:13:12,529
Trapped in a box, underground...
314
00:13:12,529 --> 00:13:17,391
Pretty scary, huh?
315
00:13:17,391 --> 00:13:20,035
Dad, surely you must have some
message you want to leave for
316
00:13:20,035 --> 00:13:21,616
the Cranes of the twenty-first century?
317
00:13:21,616 --> 00:13:26,122
Alright, alright, I do.
318
00:13:26,122 --> 00:13:28,355
Remember to always work hard,
319
00:13:28,355 --> 00:13:31,428
and that family comes first.
320
00:13:31,428 --> 00:13:36,484
And... I have a million bucks in unmarked bills
321
00:13:36,484 --> 00:13:37,924
that I took off a drug dealer that
322
00:13:37,924 --> 00:13:42,687
I have stashed in my old army foot locker.
323
00:13:42,687 --> 00:13:48,041
The combination is left fifteen, right thirty-two,
324
00:13:48,041 --> 00:14:02,726
le-le...
325
00:14:02,726 --> 00:14:07,465
Future generations: see what I had to put up with?
326
00:14:07,465 --> 00:14:08,084
Hello.
327
00:14:08,084 --> 00:14:08,639
Hello.
328
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:09,139
Hello.
329
00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:10,445
I suppose this means we're finished?
330
00:14:10,445 --> 00:14:14,861
Well, unless you want future
generations to see me go to the can!
331
00:14:14,861 --> 00:14:16,177
Niles, actually I'm glad you're here.
332
00:14:16,177 --> 00:14:17,490
I have to talk to youabout Roz.
333
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:18,582
Oh, no, no, no.
334
00:14:18,582 --> 00:14:19,774
I've breached my ethics once already.
335
00:14:19,774 --> 00:14:21,358
Niles, please, I've gotten desperate!
336
00:14:21,358 --> 00:14:22,291
No, no, no!
337
00:14:22,291 --> 00:14:25,409
Niles, she plans to tell him that
she loves him tonight!
338
00:14:25,409 --> 00:14:28,229
From what you told me about Ben's patterns,
339
00:14:28,229 --> 00:14:30,523
that will be the end of it
and Roz will be shattered.
340
00:14:30,523 --> 00:14:34,401
God, there has got to be some loophole
in this confidentiality rule that
341
00:14:34,401 --> 00:14:37,842
will allow me to warn her
and still preserve your ethics.
342
00:14:37,842 --> 00:14:41,335
Niles! Help me look through these textbooks!
343
00:14:41,335 --> 00:14:42,318
No, I'll have no part in this!
344
00:14:42,318 --> 00:14:43,841
Please, Niles! Think of Roz!
345
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:45,068
I'm thinking of my license!
346
00:14:45,068 --> 00:14:46,935
Well then, think of what Freud said!
347
00:14:46,935 --> 00:14:54,151
"We are never so helplessly
unhappy as when we lose love."
348
00:14:54,151 --> 00:14:56,199
Oh, all right!
349
00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:58,333
But that was dirty pool, using a Freud quotation.
350
00:14:58,333 --> 00:15:00,739
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
351
00:15:00,739 --> 00:15:02,015
It's the Crane boys' kryptonite.
352
00:15:02,015 --> 00:15:04,052
I know, I know. Thank you.
353
00:15:04,052 --> 00:15:08,903
Say, here's a possibility.
354
00:15:08,903 --> 00:15:11,641
According to this, it says we can warn her
355
00:15:11,641 --> 00:15:14,202
if he means to do her bodily harm.
356
00:15:14,202 --> 00:15:14,919
Does he?
357
00:15:14,919 --> 00:15:15,605
No.
358
00:15:15,605 --> 00:15:18,490
Damn!
359
00:15:18,490 --> 00:15:26,300
It would be so much easier
if Roz were mentally incompetent.
360
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:27,786
Go on...
361
00:15:27,786 --> 00:15:32,067
Well, then there'd be some
justification for protecting her.
362
00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:33,575
Is she irrational?
363
00:15:33,575 --> 00:15:36,475
She did attack a vending machine once,
364
00:15:36,475 --> 00:15:39,479
when a Twinkie came out of the Oreo chute.
365
00:15:39,479 --> 00:15:41,190
Borderline, borderline.
366
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,565
Does she ever act delusional?
367
00:15:42,565 --> 00:15:43,445
Well, she often claims that
368
00:15:43,445 --> 00:15:45,237
she is responsible for thesuccess of our show.
369
00:15:45,237 --> 00:15:47,555
Building, building.
370
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:49,802
Does she display below-average intelligence?
371
00:15:49,802 --> 00:15:52,807
She once ordered a bottle of white Zinfandel!
372
00:15:52,807 --> 00:15:54,858
Jackpot!
373
00:15:54,858 --> 00:15:56,344
Go to her, she's a threat to herself!
374
00:15:56,344 --> 00:15:58,963
It's amazing they even let the woman drive!
375
00:16:01,875 --> 00:16:02,627
Who is it?
376
00:16:02,627 --> 00:16:07,839
It's Frasier!
377
00:16:07,839 --> 00:16:09,508
Oh my God! What happened?
378
00:16:09,508 --> 00:16:11,274
He dumped me, Frasier!
379
00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:18,665
Oh, oh, honey! I - come here. Oh God...
380
00:16:18,665 --> 00:16:20,612
Everything was going great!
381
00:16:20,612 --> 00:16:23,043
Until I said "I love you, Ben."
382
00:16:23,043 --> 00:16:24,383
Then he got this look on his face,
383
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:31,027
like he'd taken a wrong turn
in a really bad neighbourhood!
384
00:16:31,027 --> 00:16:34,526
He didn't even touch the champagne.
385
00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:39,272
Oh I'm... I'm sorry, Roz. Here.
386
00:16:39,272 --> 00:16:41,703
Thank you.
387
00:16:41,703 --> 00:16:47,272
When you...
388
00:16:47,272 --> 00:16:49,615
when you professed your love for him,
389
00:16:49,615 --> 00:16:54,092
uh... were you dressed like that?
390
00:16:54,092 --> 00:16:58,187
No! After he left, I went in to change,
391
00:16:58,187 --> 00:17:03,291
and I saw all theseold bridesmaid
dresses hanging in the closet.
392
00:17:03,291 --> 00:17:05,170
And that's when it hit me.
393
00:17:05,170 --> 00:17:08,421
That's what I am, a bridesmaid!
394
00:17:08,421 --> 00:17:10,565
I might as well wear the uniform!
395
00:17:10,565 --> 00:17:14,923
Oh Roz, no, no! Now, now, come on!
396
00:17:14,923 --> 00:17:17,181
Yes!
397
00:17:17,181 --> 00:17:18,470
Come on! Now look, look, you know,
398
00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:20,138
I find that whenever I'm low,
399
00:17:20,138 --> 00:17:24,248
it always lifts my spirits when
I just spruce up a bit.
400
00:17:24,248 --> 00:17:29,166
It wouldn't hurt to run a brush through your hair...
401
00:17:29,166 --> 00:17:30,128
or through your teeth.
402
00:17:30,128 --> 00:17:33,464
Oh God!
403
00:17:33,464 --> 00:17:34,946
I must look awful!
404
00:17:34,946 --> 00:17:37,843
No, no, not at all.
405
00:17:37,843 --> 00:17:41,978
You're a big fat liar.
406
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:48,910
But you were right about Ben,
and I just didn't see it.
407
00:17:48,910 --> 00:17:51,328
What made you come over here anyway?
408
00:17:51,328 --> 00:17:55,130
Well, actually, I was coming
over here to take one last stab
409
00:17:55,130 --> 00:17:58,699
at convincing you that Ben was the wrong man for you.
410
00:17:58,699 --> 00:18:00,759
You deserve someone better, Roz.
411
00:18:00,759 --> 00:18:02,011
Oh, yeah,
412
00:18:02,011 --> 00:18:10,270
I'm a real catch!
413
00:18:10,270 --> 00:18:16,222
Hell...
414
00:18:16,222 --> 00:18:19,126
Oh, now, things really aren't all as dark as they seem.
415
00:18:19,126 --> 00:18:25,852
You know, you're a-a beautiful, intelligent, desirable...
416
00:18:25,852 --> 00:18:29,264
Why don't you let me just take a stab at that, will you?
417
00:18:29,264 --> 00:18:31,631
I can't imagine any man not
thinking himself the luckiest
418
00:18:31,631 --> 00:18:34,402
in the world to be with you.
419
00:18:34,402 --> 00:18:37,028
You really do... think that, don't you?
420
00:18:37,028 --> 00:18:39,569
Yes, and I'm surprised you even had to ask me that.
421
00:18:39,569 --> 00:18:41,579
I guess I didn't.
422
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:50,620
I've known that you've had these
romanticfeelings toward me, for a while.
423
00:18:50,620 --> 00:18:51,908
What?
424
00:18:51,908 --> 00:18:54,670
Oh come on! Don't deny it.
425
00:18:54,670 --> 00:18:58,803
Those hints about finding someone
with substance over style,
426
00:18:58,803 --> 00:19:00,731
the way you hated Ben.
427
00:19:00,731 --> 00:19:03,611
And then Daphne told me she overheard you telling Niles that
428
00:19:03,611 --> 00:19:05,744
you couldn't stop thinking about me and
429
00:19:05,744 --> 00:19:07,152
wanted to tell me the truth!
430
00:19:07,152 --> 00:19:07,976
Daphne told you that?
431
00:19:07,976 --> 00:19:09,045
Yeah - don't be mad at her.
432
00:19:09,045 --> 00:19:10,321
No, no, I'm not.
433
00:19:10,321 --> 00:19:11,645
It's just that when she said that...
434
00:19:11,645 --> 00:19:12,564
No it's OK, Frasier.
435
00:19:12,564 --> 00:19:15,345
I'm glad she told me.
436
00:19:15,345 --> 00:19:18,782
The only thingkeeping me from
completely falling apart right now is
437
00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:27,721
knowing that someone like you could be interested in me.
438
00:19:27,721 --> 00:19:41,701
Well, then... there's no point in denying it, is there?
439
00:19:41,701 --> 00:19:46,559
You know, maybe the idea of you and me isn't so crazy.
440
00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:49,554
You are the kind of man I should be with!
441
00:19:49,554 --> 00:19:52,743
Smart, gentle...
442
00:19:52,743 --> 00:19:54,334
Ow! I said gentle!
443
00:19:54,334 --> 00:19:56,899
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Roz.
444
00:19:56,899 --> 00:19:58,920
Uh, you know, it's just that there are so many...
445
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,184
I know, I know. Workplace romances always fail.
446
00:20:02,184 --> 00:20:03,555
Exactly my point!
447
00:20:03,555 --> 00:20:05,028
And I'm on the rebound.
448
00:20:05,028 --> 00:20:06,832
I've got to give myself time toheal.
449
00:20:06,832 --> 00:20:11,274
Yes yes, lots of time.
450
00:20:11,274 --> 00:20:13,994
On the other hand, you are the
one who always says the best
451
00:20:13,994 --> 00:20:16,129
relationships start with friendship.
452
00:20:16,129 --> 00:20:18,287
Well, I do say that, yes.
453
00:20:18,287 --> 00:20:19,295
It's true, but...
454
00:20:19,295 --> 00:20:22,336
And we're friends, aren't we?
455
00:20:22,336 --> 00:20:24,177
We're very good friends.
456
00:20:24,177 --> 00:20:26,223
Right now we are both free.
457
00:20:26,223 --> 00:20:30,788
Oh well, in my case, painfully free.
458
00:20:30,788 --> 00:20:41,270
You know, maybe if we both went
into it with our eyes open...?
459
00:20:41,270 --> 00:20:44,475
Oh no, what am I saying?
460
00:20:44,475 --> 00:20:47,493
My relationship with you is
probably the healthiest one
461
00:20:47,493 --> 00:20:49,414
I've ever had with a man!
462
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:50,754
I don't want to screw that up.
463
00:20:50,754 --> 00:20:52,546
Now that you mention it,
464
00:20:52,546 --> 00:20:56,411
my relationship with you isprobably
the best one I've ever had with a woman!
465
00:20:56,411 --> 00:21:04,280
Not that it's been much of a horse race, but...
466
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:09,110
To friendship?
467
00:21:09,110 --> 00:21:19,375
Here's hoping the next time you
tell a man you love him, he says it back.
468
00:21:19,375 --> 00:21:21,498
Well, let's see.
469
00:21:21,498 --> 00:21:24,689
I love you, Frasier.
470
00:21:24,689 --> 00:21:28,400
I love you too, Roz.
471
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:29,199
You gonna be alright?
472
00:21:29,199 --> 00:21:30,351
Yeah.
473
00:21:30,351 --> 00:21:32,132
Well, I'd better run.
474
00:21:32,132 --> 00:21:35,651
Yeah, my saying "I love you"
seems to have that effect onmen.
475
00:21:35,651 --> 00:21:39,106
No, no, I'll-I'll stay if you like!
476
00:21:39,106 --> 00:21:41,660
No, no. Don't you worry about me.
477
00:21:41,660 --> 00:21:43,402
I will not be alone.
478
00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:49,241
I will be sliding into a hot tub
with my good friends, Ben & Jerry.
479
00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:50,540
See you tomorrow, Roz.
480
00:21:50,540 --> 00:21:52,768
See you, Frasier.
481
00:22:14,196 --> 00:22:17,200
Guest Callers DAVID DUCHOVNY as Tom
35582
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