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1
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Are your eyes closed?
2
00:00:11,088 --> 00:00:12,738
What is it?
3
00:00:12,738 --> 00:00:16,654
It's something my antiques scout found for me.
4
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Voila! Paris, 1882!
5
00:00:19,192 --> 00:00:22,615
Designed by Jean-Francois Blon,
while attending L'Ecole des Beaux Arts!
6
00:00:22,615 --> 00:00:30,003
Mon Dieu! It's absolutely breathtaking!
7
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I'm breathless!
8
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I need to take a breath.
9
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Evening, Dr. Crane.
10
00:00:42,495 --> 00:00:43,693
Would you like to try a game, Niles?
11
00:00:43,693 --> 00:00:46,231
Oh, I think not. It'll make me too melancholy.
12
00:00:46,231 --> 00:00:46,919
Well, all right.
13
00:00:46,919 --> 00:00:50,039
Maris and I used to play chess
every Thursday night.
14
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Oh, how she loved the game.
15
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No wonder ?the king is stationary
while the queen has all the power.
16
00:00:57,981 --> 00:00:59,728
How are you getting along, Dr. Crane?
17
00:00:59,728 --> 00:01:01,398
Oh, all right, I guess.
18
00:01:01,398 --> 00:01:03,212
Feeling a bit lonely, are we?
19
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Only some times when I'm by myself,
or other times when I'm with other people.
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00:01:09,869 --> 00:01:12,900
It may not be my place to suggest this,
but perhaps all you need is
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a little company at the apartment
something warm and friendly to come home?
22
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Well, I'm sure Dad would miss you.
23
00:01:18,813 --> 00:01:22,470
Oh, Dr. Crane!
24
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Oh, me!
25
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I'm talking about a dog.
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They're wonderful companions.
27
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Just look at how much Eddie's brought
to your father's life.
28
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Oh, there's nothing like a dog's
unconditional love.
29
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Seeing that smiling face greet you at the door.
30
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It's one of the most rewarding
relationships a person can have.
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Again? If you're going to drink
out of the toilet, you can at least learn to use it.
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Would you like to come with me?
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Maybe get the feel of the leash?
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Perhaps I will.
35
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You know, Daphne, maybe you're on
to something with this dogbusiness.
36
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I'm starting to feel less lonely already.
37
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Chop, chop! Come with us.
38
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Oh, hi, Dad. Did you see my new chess set?
39
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Oh yeah, it's nice.
40
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"Nice?" Well, the inlay was made
from the same Travertine marble
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they used at the Emperor Hadrian's
palace outside Tivoli!
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Really? Well, I'm gonna celebrate
with a beverage brewed from the crystal-clear waters
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of the majestic Colorado Rockies!
44
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Good one, Dad. Say, how about a game?
45
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Nah, I don't think so.
46
00:02:41,301 --> 00:02:43,469
Oh, come on, Dad. You know how to play, don't you?
47
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Well, Daphne showed me once.
But really, checkers is more my speed.
48
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Oh, come on, checkers is a kid's game.
49
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Come on, Dad!
50
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I just got it! Please? Nobody will play with me!
51
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All right, I'll give it another shot.
52
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Those guys at the park make it
look great eating baloney sandwiches,
53
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smoking cigars, sometimes a fist-fight
even breaks out!
54
00:03:03,848 --> 00:03:13,088
Well, let's just start with name-calling
and see where it goes, all right?
55
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Your turn.
56
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:18,060
Now, Dad, please, you don't have to rush.
57
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As a novice, you have the right to
sit back, survey the board, take yourtime.
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I will not pressure you or hover like a vulture.
59
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Please, feel free to ask any questions you might have.
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Is this a checkmate?
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Yes, it is.
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You mean I won?
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Well, yes.
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Hey, hey! I won! How do you like that?
65
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Well, in all fairness, my mind was
a bit distracted by
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having to monitor your side of the
board, but, uh... Touche!
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00:03:53,057 --> 00:03:54,033
How about another game, Dad?
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00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:56,273
No, I think one'll do it for me, thanks.
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00:03:56,273 --> 00:03:58,539
Well, uh, all right, fair enough.
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00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:02,347
Boy, I really clobbered you though, didn't I?
71
00:04:02,347 --> 00:04:04,811
I got almost all of your prawns.
72
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:07,487
Pawns, Dad.
73
00:04:07,487 --> 00:04:09,776
I think the turning point was when
I got that tower-thingy.
74
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Yes, it's called a rook.
75
00:04:11,546 --> 00:04:14,800
But the real knockout blow was when
I backed your little horsey-guy into the corner.
76
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Can we call it a night, Dad?
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O.K., when I cornered your knight.
78
00:04:17,395 --> 00:04:20,409
No, I mean can we call it a night?
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00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:28,170
Hey, Frasier.
80
00:04:28,170 --> 00:04:30,304
Oh hi, Roz.
81
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:34,985
Uh, one double-tall latte, a slice
of pecan pie with extra whipped cream.
82
00:04:34,985 --> 00:04:35,713
Anything else?
83
00:04:35,713 --> 00:04:39,065
Perhaps a blood-pressure cuff?
84
00:04:39,065 --> 00:04:40,737
I'm just a little nervous today, O.K.?
85
00:04:40,737 --> 00:04:42,703
Oh, really? Trouble on the dating front?
86
00:04:42,703 --> 00:04:44,520
I'm not that shallow, all right?
87
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:48,920
It's about my hair.
88
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I've got an appointment this afternoon with Noge.
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"Noge?"
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00:04:52,963 --> 00:04:56,024
He's the hottest hairstylist in Seattle?
91
00:04:56,024 --> 00:04:57,537
"Noge?"
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00:04:57,537 --> 00:04:59,354
I think he's getting a little bored with me.
93
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When he cuts my hair, I can't ever
think of anything to say!
94
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:04,305
Well, how's this for an icebreaker:
95
00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:09,543
"Say, Noge, where'd you get such a stupid name?"
96
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,113
You should see him with all of
his other clients.
97
00:05:11,113 --> 00:05:13,094
They're all laughing, having
a wonderful time.
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00:05:13,094 --> 00:05:15,818
I walk in, sit down, it's death.
99
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Maybe there's something in here
that'll hold his attention.
100
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Oh, wow, here's something.
101
00:05:22,263 --> 00:05:26,417
A lady in Italy gave birth to
a nineteen-pound baby!
102
00:05:26,417 --> 00:05:27,478
Oh my God.
103
00:05:27,478 --> 00:05:28,087
No kidding.
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She's not going to be hopping on
her Vespa anytime soon.
105
00:05:32,825 --> 00:05:34,263
That's how he did it.
106
00:05:34,263 --> 00:05:35,561
What are you talking about?
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00:05:35,561 --> 00:05:39,240
My father beat me at chess last night,
and I've just realized now it was sheer dumb luck.
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He stumbled into the Panoph-Vinick attack!
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00:05:41,845 --> 00:05:42,901
Frasier, I?
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00:05:42,901 --> 00:05:44,267
Oh Roz, I can't tell you what
a relief this is.
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00:05:44,267 --> 00:05:47,683
My God, my whole world makes sense again.
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00:05:47,683 --> 00:05:50,182
Frasier, you are forgetting about
my problem with Noge.
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00:05:50,182 --> 00:05:54,262
Yes, and it'd be a lot easier
if you'd stop bringing it up.
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00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:02,508
Hello, Niles.
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00:06:02,508 --> 00:06:03,341
Hello, Frasier.
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00:06:03,341 --> 00:06:04,598
To what do I owe this pleasure?
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00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:08,206
Well, I took to heart Daphne's
suggestion the other day about a need for companionship
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since my separation from Maris,
so I went out and got a new lady in my life.
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00:06:16,731 --> 00:06:17,613
I can't explain it.
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00:06:17,613 --> 00:06:20,483
I'm not a dog person, but there's
something about this particular breed that
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I find comforting and familiar.
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It's mystifying, isn't it?
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Mmm, baffling.
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I-I happened into my local pet shop,
and I had no intention of buying anything,
125
00:06:34,068 --> 00:06:37,534
I was merely browsing, and they showed
me some overly demonstrative puppies.
126
00:06:37,534 --> 00:06:41,061
Then I heard a haughty little sniff
from a cage in the corner,
127
00:06:41,061 --> 00:06:42,532
and there she was!
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00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:43,933
Sit, Girl, sit!
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OK.
130
00:06:48,925 --> 00:06:52,396
She's, uh, she's a bit high strung,
but, uh, she's terribly well-bred.
131
00:06:52,396 --> 00:06:57,186
When I tried to pet her, she'd have none of it.
132
00:06:57,186 --> 00:06:59,578
Well, I'm surprised she wasn't snapped
up before you got there.
133
00:06:59,578 --> 00:07:02,902
Yes, well, the man at the pet store
said it's because people are reluctant to
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00:07:02,902 --> 00:07:05,860
take responsibility for her nerve medicine.
135
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:06,436
No, not on the couch.
136
00:07:06,436 --> 00:07:07,733
Off, off!
137
00:07:07,733 --> 00:07:12,301
OK.
138
00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:12,979
Hey, Niles.
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00:07:12,979 --> 00:07:15,079
Hey, Dad.
140
00:07:15,079 --> 00:07:18,863
What the hell is that?
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It's my dog, my new best friend.
142
00:07:21,311 --> 00:07:25,219
Yes, Niles saw her in the pet store
and had this inexplicable attraction.
143
00:07:25,219 --> 00:07:26,341
You can see her ribs!
144
00:07:26,341 --> 00:07:28,844
Hit Number One.
145
00:07:28,844 --> 00:07:30,819
Daphne, I owe it all to you.
146
00:07:30,819 --> 00:07:35,363
Oh really, Dr. Crane, I wouldn't
want you going around telling people
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I was responsible for that.
148
00:07:38,862 --> 00:07:41,693
Well, I guess we'll be toddling along.
149
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Come Girl, come!
150
00:07:43,653 --> 00:07:48,725
OK.
151
00:07:48,725 --> 00:07:51,807
The city streets play havoc with her
delicate little feet,
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so I have to go home and pumice her paw-pads!
153
00:07:58,693 --> 00:07:59,946
Am I the only one?
154
00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:03,037
No.
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Does Dr. Crane have any idea...
156
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:09,590
No.
157
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:14,539
So, Dad, can I, uh, interest you
in an ice-cold Ballantine?
158
00:08:14,539 --> 00:08:15,867
Yeah, sounds good.
159
00:08:15,867 --> 00:08:17,688
You know, I may even join you myself.
160
00:08:17,688 --> 00:08:21,383
I've got some pork rinds here and
some of that creamy Lipton onion soup dip!
161
00:08:21,383 --> 00:08:23,161
Oh, with the seven herbs and spices?
162
00:08:23,161 --> 00:08:25,105
Well, just count 'em!
163
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,761
Hey, that's great!
164
00:08:27,761 --> 00:08:35,418
All my favorite stuff... you're putting me
in a home, aren't you?
165
00:08:35,418 --> 00:08:39,182
Oh, don't be silly!
166
00:08:39,182 --> 00:08:41,241
But you know, if I ever had to, don't you think
167
00:08:41,241 --> 00:08:45,623
it'd be nice if you knew how to play chess?
168
00:08:55,863 --> 00:09:00,322
Dad, it's not considered a move until
my fingers have completely cleared the piece.
169
00:09:00,322 --> 00:09:02,120
Well, what's taking so long?
170
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,410
I am analyzing my options.
171
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:04,848
Unlike your "wing-it" approach,
172
00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:13,992
I like to plan a strategy, like a
general leading his troops into battle.
173
00:09:13,992 --> 00:09:20,733
Checkmate, Schwartzkopf.
174
00:09:20,733 --> 00:09:22,512
Gosh, that's very well done.
175
00:09:22,512 --> 00:09:25,009
You're really getting a feel for the game, Dad.
176
00:09:25,009 --> 00:09:30,446
Yeah, and all this time I thought chess was hard.
177
00:09:30,446 --> 00:09:31,327
Well, see ya.
178
00:09:31,327 --> 00:09:38,527
Sit down, old man, you're not going anywhere!
179
00:09:38,527 --> 00:09:41,439
Mr. Crane, would you give me
a hand with these dishes?
180
00:09:41,439 --> 00:09:52,959
I can't, I'm playing chess with Frasier.
181
00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:57,470
Finally, my patience will be rewarded.
The trap is set.
182
00:09:57,470 --> 00:09:59,909
I knew this moment would come!
183
00:09:59,909 --> 00:10:03,385
It comes every game.
184
00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:07,232
Checkmate.
185
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,126
Well, that's it.
186
00:10:08,126 --> 00:10:09,180
Show's over, folks.
187
00:10:09,180 --> 00:10:09,927
Move along.
188
00:10:09,927 --> 00:10:11,117
Nothing more to see here.
189
00:10:11,117 --> 00:10:11,993
You know, Dad?
190
00:10:11,993 --> 00:10:13,781
No, no, I'm not playing anymore.
191
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:14,999
I'm tired and I'm going to bed.
192
00:10:14,999 --> 00:10:16,783
O.K.
193
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:21,349
Yes, I guess I've had my fill as well.
194
00:10:21,349 --> 00:10:25,278
Well, this has really turned out to be
quite a good idea, hasn't it, this chess thing?
195
00:10:25,278 --> 00:10:26,012
'Night.
196
00:10:26,012 --> 00:10:27,446
Awfully relaxing... oh, yes, yes,
197
00:10:27,446 --> 00:10:28,678
you just - you just go on ahead,
198
00:10:28,678 --> 00:10:33,390
I-I've got - hah! - something I've got to do...
199
00:10:45,957 --> 00:10:46,891
Hey, Frasier!
200
00:10:46,891 --> 00:10:47,939
Hi, Roz.
201
00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:49,643
I have great news!
202
00:10:49,643 --> 00:10:52,791
My appointment with Noge could not
have gone better.
203
00:10:52,791 --> 00:10:54,871
What is the reason behind this miraculous
transformation?
204
00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:58,237
Well, it occurred to me that hairstylists
love celebrity gossip.
205
00:10:58,237 --> 00:11:03,652
And I thought, "hey, I know a celebrity: you!"
206
00:11:03,652 --> 00:11:05,964
And what did you tell him about me?
207
00:11:05,964 --> 00:11:11,606
Well, he may have gotten the impression that you?
208
00:11:11,606 --> 00:11:14,461
well, you're gonna love this ?that, you know...
209
00:11:14,461 --> 00:11:18,446
you may have been... in the past... a woman,
210
00:11:18,446 --> 00:11:22,398
you're not mad at me, are you?
211
00:11:22,398 --> 00:11:26,724
Mad? Why should I be mad, knowing
the sacred code of silence
212
00:11:26,724 --> 00:11:30,059
all hairdressers have sworn to?
213
00:11:30,059 --> 00:11:32,763
All right, I'll set Noge straight.
214
00:11:32,763 --> 00:11:39,531
Well, if you manage that, then you
really would have a story.
215
00:11:39,531 --> 00:11:41,662
Well, hello.
216
00:11:41,662 --> 00:11:42,603
Double cappuccino, please.
217
00:11:42,603 --> 00:11:43,726
Yeah, same for me, please.
218
00:11:43,726 --> 00:11:46,084
Listen, Niles, I need to talk to you about Dad.
219
00:11:46,084 --> 00:11:50,596
Oh yes, how is the Bobby Fischer of
the geriatric circuit?
220
00:11:50,596 --> 00:11:51,589
Well, he's still beating me.
221
00:11:51,589 --> 00:11:56,363
I tell you, Niles, I just can't figure
it out ?I am the superior player.
222
00:11:56,363 --> 00:12:00,721
There's a saying: "In every boy's life,
the moment of greatest joy and
223
00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:04,276
greatest sorrow is when he defeats
his father for the first time."
224
00:12:04,276 --> 00:12:06,253
If you're suggesting that I'm afraid to beat Dad,
225
00:12:06,253 --> 00:12:07,899
you can just stop right there.
226
00:12:07,899 --> 00:12:09,868
O.K. The other option is,
he's better than you.
227
00:12:09,868 --> 00:12:14,114
You were saying?
228
00:12:14,114 --> 00:12:16,283
Sooner or later, the son eclipses the father.
229
00:12:16,283 --> 00:12:17,530
It's the natural order.
230
00:12:17,530 --> 00:12:21,277
Yet it's frequently a stumbling
block because the son's competitive stirrings are
231
00:12:21,277 --> 00:12:24,579
accompanied by tremendous feelings of guilt.
232
00:12:24,579 --> 00:12:29,377
I see. Yes, it's the classic Oedipal conflict.
233
00:12:29,377 --> 00:12:30,753
It seems so obvious now.
234
00:12:30,753 --> 00:12:32,696
I've been letting him win!
235
00:12:32,696 --> 00:12:34,287
Niles, thank you,thank you very much.
236
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:35,616
I can't tell you what a relief this is.
237
00:12:35,616 --> 00:12:37,694
I feel like a weight has been lifted.
238
00:12:37,694 --> 00:12:38,998
Nothing can hold me back now.
239
00:12:38,998 --> 00:12:41,694
Tonight, I topple the king!
240
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:43,350
Hear, hear.
241
00:12:43,350 --> 00:12:44,597
Of course, you realize by dethroning Dad,
242
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,368
you're next in line to be dethroned
by Frederick, and then the only thing left
243
00:12:47,368 --> 00:12:53,266
after that is death, but that's another
day and another cup of coffee.
244
00:13:02,767 --> 00:13:07,447
Dad? Dad, wake up, it's your turn.
245
00:13:07,447 --> 00:13:16,328
Oh, I'm sorry...Checkmate.
246
00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:17,477
Well, I'm going to bed.
247
00:13:17,477 --> 00:13:18,864
Oh, come on, Dad, just one more game!
248
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:30,084
No! I can't keep my eyes open.
249
00:14:04,422 --> 00:14:09,871
Playing chess again, were you?
250
00:14:09,871 --> 00:14:13,944
You know, Dr. Crane, when one of
my brothers would lose a soccer match,
251
00:14:13,944 --> 00:14:15,523
he'd be all blue and in the dumps.
252
00:14:15,523 --> 00:14:17,901
But I could get him to laugh.
253
00:14:17,901 --> 00:14:21,045
I'd make a little puppet like so.
254
00:14:21,045 --> 00:14:23,939
Hello, Daphne, What's shaking?
255
00:14:23,939 --> 00:14:25,900
Oh, hello, Freddy.
256
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:29,869
My friend Dr. Crane here forgot
his happy pants!
257
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,692
Oh, no! What should I do?
258
00:14:32,692 --> 00:14:34,149
Would you sing for him?
259
00:14:34,149 --> 00:14:36,754
I'd love to.
260
00:14:36,754 --> 00:14:39,222
Who's that grouchy gus I see?
261
00:14:39,222 --> 00:14:41,941
You can't be grouchy, not with me!
262
00:14:41,941 --> 00:14:50,309
Sing along, Doc! Who's that grouchy gus I see?
263
00:14:50,309 --> 00:14:54,588
Daphne, I would rather have a tarantula
lay eggs in my ear
264
00:14:54,588 --> 00:14:58,413
than listen to any more of this puppet show.
265
00:14:58,413 --> 00:15:05,227
Do we understand each other?
266
00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:50,191
Eddie! Speak! Speak, Eddie!
267
00:16:16,245 --> 00:16:21,612
Fire! Fire, everybody! Frasier!
Daphne! Fire! Fire!
268
00:16:21,612 --> 00:16:23,060
What's going on?!
269
00:16:23,060 --> 00:16:25,592
The fire alarm went off, but I don't
see anything around here!
270
00:16:25,592 --> 00:16:27,400
It's not in my room, either!
271
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,481
It's O.K.!
272
00:16:29,481 --> 00:16:32,475
My fault, false alarm.
273
00:16:32,475 --> 00:16:37,922
I was just a little remiss in replacing
the batteries, everything's fine.
274
00:16:37,922 --> 00:16:40,529
The batteries? No, smoke alarms don't go off if?
275
00:16:40,529 --> 00:16:42,387
Back to bed!
276
00:16:42,387 --> 00:16:51,971
See you in the morning.
277
00:16:51,971 --> 00:16:55,602
Dad, you know, seeing as how we're both up,
278
00:16:55,602 --> 00:17:00,248
I thought maybe we should, oh I dunno,
do something, you know?
279
00:17:00,248 --> 00:17:01,327
Like what?
280
00:17:01,327 --> 00:17:06,064
Well, uh, right off the top of my head,
I... well, play a little chess?
281
00:17:06,064 --> 00:17:06,913
Now?
282
00:17:06,913 --> 00:17:10,728
Well, sure! We're both wide awake.
283
00:17:10,728 --> 00:17:15,039
Oh my God, you set that alarm off!
284
00:17:15,039 --> 00:17:16,577
Dad! II had no?
285
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:20,072
What kind of weird, competitive freak are you?
286
00:17:20,072 --> 00:17:22,505
I mean, you really hate to lose so much
that you wake up the whole house
287
00:17:22,505 --> 00:17:23,751
and scare us all to death?
288
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:24,958
No, of course not!
289
00:17:24,958 --> 00:17:28,615
And I wouldn't have to resort to such
lengths if this damn dog could learn to speak!
290
00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:30,848
Oh, of course, now you'll get it right!
291
00:17:30,848 --> 00:17:32,463
Look, Dad, would one more game kill you?
292
00:17:32,463 --> 00:17:34,184
I mean, you're all riled up.
293
00:17:34,184 --> 00:17:36,624
My God, you'll never get to sleep now anyway!
294
00:17:36,624 --> 00:17:38,224
Wait a minute.
295
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,729
This isn't about losing, is it?
296
00:17:39,729 --> 00:17:41,912
This is about losing to me.
297
00:17:41,912 --> 00:17:43,975
That's what's driving you nuts!
298
00:17:43,975 --> 00:17:45,293
"How could I lose to the old man?
299
00:17:45,293 --> 00:17:46,631
I'm much smarter than he is!"
300
00:17:46,631 --> 00:17:47,414
I never said that!
301
00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:49,094
No, you didn't have to say it, you've
thought it all your life!
302
00:17:49,094 --> 00:17:49,695
No, I haven't!
303
00:17:49,695 --> 00:17:51,810
Yes, you have, and now you're insulting
my intelligence again!
304
00:17:51,810 --> 00:17:52,519
Oh, Dad!
305
00:17:52,519 --> 00:17:55,574
Hey, now listen, what do you think
I was doing as a detective all those years?
306
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:59,743
Analyzing clues, devising strategies,
trying to stay one or two steps ahead
307
00:17:59,743 --> 00:18:00,455
of the other guys
308
00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:02,039
now, does that sound like any game that you know?
309
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:04,158
All right, that explains why you can play the game,
310
00:18:04,158 --> 00:18:07,048
but not why you beat me every time!
311
00:18:07,048 --> 00:18:09,241
Now, come on, just one more game, please?
312
00:18:09,241 --> 00:18:11,431
Dad, look, I'll never bring it up again!
313
00:18:11,431 --> 00:18:12,350
Come on!
314
00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:14,798
No. Why should I?
315
00:18:14,798 --> 00:18:17,449
You just want to beat me so that
you can go back to thinking you're smarter than
316
00:18:17,449 --> 00:18:18,493
your stupid old man.
317
00:18:18,493 --> 00:18:20,718
Well, forget it, to hell with you.
318
00:18:20,718 --> 00:18:24,774
I don't see any reason why I should
ever play you again.
319
00:18:24,774 --> 00:18:27,038
If you win, I'll give you five thousand dollars.
320
00:18:27,038 --> 00:18:32,255
Get out of my way.
321
00:18:32,255 --> 00:18:37,303
Well, look at that, the board's all set up!
What a surprise.
322
00:18:37,303 --> 00:18:39,734
I took the liberty.
323
00:18:39,734 --> 00:18:42,831
Now, Dad, I think we can sit down and
play a nice cordial little game.
324
00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:48,688
For centuries, people have set aside
their differences to play a game of chess.
325
00:18:48,688 --> 00:18:51,416
So, who should go first?
326
00:18:51,416 --> 00:18:52,556
Well, let's see.
327
00:18:52,556 --> 00:18:55,262
It's usually the person who lost the last game.
328
00:18:55,262 --> 00:18:58,181
Now, who could that be?
329
00:18:58,181 --> 00:19:06,885
OK. No more Mr. Cordial Guy!
330
00:19:06,885 --> 00:19:14,773
By the way, I'm sorry the ratings for
your show took a dive last month.
331
00:19:14,773 --> 00:19:26,020
Don't try to pull your cheap psychological
tricks on me.
332
00:19:26,020 --> 00:19:34,084
Oh, did I mention... the cemetery called?
333
00:19:34,084 --> 00:19:42,693
Apparently they have to dig a sewer
next to your plot.
334
00:19:42,693 --> 00:19:51,924
Getting your dog to stare at me only
proves how desperate you are.
335
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:54,234
I didn't tell him to do that.
336
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:58,437
He just gets fascinated when he sees people sweat.
337
00:19:58,437 --> 00:20:00,932
I sweat when I'm happy.
338
00:20:00,932 --> 00:20:04,068
Well, then you must be ecstatic!
339
00:20:04,068 --> 00:20:04,503
No, wait!
340
00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:05,581
No, no, you took your finger off that piece!
341
00:20:05,581 --> 00:20:06,020
No, I didn't!
342
00:20:06,020 --> 00:20:08,356
Yes, you did!
343
00:20:08,356 --> 00:20:12,789
That means that you must not trust
that move, must have left yourself
vulnerable somewhere.
344
00:20:12,789 --> 00:20:24,411
Well, even if I did, you'll never find it.
345
00:20:24,411 --> 00:20:34,797
Oh, look at that... what's this?
346
00:20:34,797 --> 00:20:39,238
Could it be... checkmate?
347
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:43,195
I won, I won, I really won!
348
00:20:43,195 --> 00:20:45,139
Hey, I didn't gloat when I beat
you all those times!
349
00:20:45,139 --> 00:20:49,106
No, but, I bet you wish you did now,
huh? Ha-ha, it feels great!
350
00:20:49,106 --> 00:20:51,698
All right, that's it. I'm going to bed.
351
00:20:51,698 --> 00:20:56,149
And I never want to hear the word
"chess," or "board," or "chessboard" again!
352
00:20:56,149 --> 00:20:58,147
That's it, got it?
353
00:20:58,147 --> 00:21:00,517
Fine. Fine, Dad. Goodnight.
354
00:21:00,517 --> 00:21:04,097
Geez, lighten up! It's only a game!
355
00:21:16,930 --> 00:21:18,138
Dad? Dad?
356
00:21:18,138 --> 00:21:19,348
Oh, jeez...
357
00:21:19,348 --> 00:21:24,237
No, no, please, just one question:
did you let me win?
358
00:21:24,237 --> 00:21:27,229
Oh, for crying out loud, Frasier...
359
00:21:27,229 --> 00:21:30,436
No, no, please, did you play your best?
360
00:21:30,436 --> 00:21:33,244
For five thousand bucks? What do you think?
361
00:21:33,244 --> 00:21:36,294
You wouldn't just be saying that?
362
00:21:36,294 --> 00:21:39,857
On your mother's grave, may lightning
strike me down,
363
00:21:39,857 --> 00:21:43,867
I, Martin Crane, swear on the holiest
of Bibles, you won,
364
00:21:43,867 --> 00:21:52,202
I lost, fair and square, cross my heart
and hope to go to sleep.
365
00:21:52,202 --> 00:21:53,026
Thank you, Dad.
366
00:21:53,026 --> 00:22:01,517
You're welcome.
367
00:22:01,517 --> 00:22:05,810
I'm sorry I beat you, Dad.
28631
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