Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,012 --> 00:00:16,410
Well, it's uh... 2:07,
here on the Dr. Frasier Crane Show.
2
00:00:16,410 --> 00:00:20,240
As I said, I'm Roz Doyle, Frasier's producer,
3
00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:25,467
filling in for the temporarily detained Dr. Crane.
4
00:00:25,467 --> 00:00:35,658
It's cloudy and 62 degrees outside
coming up on 2:08... right... there.
5
00:00:35,658 --> 00:00:39,473
Well, let's take a call.
6
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:42,329
Hello, Lydia. What seems to be the problem?
7
00:00:42,329 --> 00:00:43,352
I already told you.
8
00:00:43,352 --> 00:00:47,634
Yeah, that was when I was the call screener,
now I'm the host.
9
00:00:47,634 --> 00:00:50,352
So, tell me your problem, and take your time.
10
00:00:50,352 --> 00:00:53,129
Well, it started about two weeks ago.
11
00:00:53,129 --> 00:00:55,275
I got this terrible obscene phone call.
12
00:00:55,275 --> 00:00:58,081
It's happened several times since then
and now it's to the point
13
00:00:58,081 --> 00:00:59,936
where I'm afraid to answer my own phone.
14
00:00:59,936 --> 00:01:02,064
Well, obscene phone calls can be very disturbing.
15
00:01:02,064 --> 00:01:03,866
But luckily, Dr. Frasier Crane has
just arrived and
16
00:01:03,866 --> 00:01:14,032
I'm sure he knows exactly
what soothing things to say.
17
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:15,895
Maybe now would be a good time to take a break.
18
00:01:15,895 --> 00:01:18,066
We'll be right back after this.
19
00:01:18,066 --> 00:01:19,195
What the hell was that all about?!
20
00:01:19,195 --> 00:01:21,608
Oh, never mind that, where were you?
21
00:01:21,608 --> 00:01:23,983
Oh, god. Somebody'd parked in my space again.
22
00:01:23,983 --> 00:01:27,488
I had to park six blocks from here
and sprint the whole way.
23
00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:30,163
By the end, my tweed pants were
throwing off so many sparks
24
00:01:30,163 --> 00:01:34,224
I almost caught myself on fire!
25
00:01:34,224 --> 00:01:36,895
I tell you what - the minute we go to a news break
26
00:01:36,895 --> 00:01:38,511
I'm going to rush down there and
27
00:01:38,511 --> 00:01:42,081
put this withering note on his windshield.
28
00:01:42,081 --> 00:01:45,881
Dear discourteous driver...?
29
00:01:45,881 --> 00:01:49,191
Whoa! I think you've said enough right there!
30
00:01:49,191 --> 00:01:50,254
Come on, Frasier.
31
00:01:50,254 --> 00:01:52,008
This isn't gonna do any good!
32
00:01:52,008 --> 00:01:53,199
You want to make an impression on him?
33
00:01:53,199 --> 00:01:54,905
Get tough. You go right down there
34
00:01:54,905 --> 00:01:56,751
and let the air out of his tires.
35
00:01:56,751 --> 00:01:58,279
Oh, I wouldn't do something like that.
36
00:01:58,279 --> 00:02:02,090
Why? It's just inconveniencing him
like he inconvenienced you.
37
00:02:02,090 --> 00:02:04,025
Roz, listen, the world has become uncivilized enough
38
00:02:04,025 --> 00:02:05,898
without me stooping to that level.
39
00:02:05,898 --> 00:02:08,772
Of course I was sorely tempted last night.
40
00:02:08,772 --> 00:02:11,836
I went to the movies to see
"How Green Was My Valley."
41
00:02:11,836 --> 00:02:14,676
Lady Luck seated me in front of two
elderly women who said with the arrival of each
42
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:21,122
new actor, "My God, doesn't he look young; he's dead, you know."
43
00:02:21,122 --> 00:02:22,656
Finally I had to just walk out.
44
00:02:22,656 --> 00:02:29,372
Oh, you're on in five seconds.
And Brenda is on line one.
45
00:02:29,372 --> 00:02:31,538
Hello, Seattle. We're back, and
I would like to start by
46
00:02:31,538 --> 00:02:34,212
apologizing for being tardy.
47
00:02:34,212 --> 00:02:38,161
Nothing quite so inconsiderate as
making someone wait.
48
00:02:38,161 --> 00:02:40,979
Now without further ado let's get to Brenda.
49
00:02:40,979 --> 00:02:42,524
Hello, Brenda.
50
00:02:42,524 --> 00:02:46,522
Hi, Dr. Crane. I'm having a problem with my sister.
51
00:02:46,522 --> 00:02:48,920
She's always... Oh, wait a second.
52
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:55,163
That's my other line.
53
00:02:55,163 --> 00:03:00,000
Something tells me I'm going to be siding with Brenda's sister.
54
00:03:14,123 --> 00:03:23,716
You're welcome!
55
00:03:23,716 --> 00:03:27,145
Excuse me, I was wondering
if you could direct me to...
56
00:03:27,145 --> 00:03:29,618
Friendly Video.
57
00:03:29,618 --> 00:03:31,841
Yeah, I think we got that one.
58
00:03:31,841 --> 00:03:34,000
Hang on a second, I'll check.
59
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,586
Don't you hate that?
60
00:03:35,586 --> 00:03:37,648
You come all the way down here yourself to the store,
61
00:03:37,648 --> 00:03:42,018
wait patiently, and somebody who calls
in from home gets preferential treatment.
62
00:03:42,018 --> 00:03:47,649
I can help the next person in line.
63
00:03:47,649 --> 00:03:49,371
Hey, do we have "The Invisible Man?"
64
00:03:49,371 --> 00:03:53,810
Right here!
65
00:03:53,810 --> 00:03:56,064
Thanks.Yeah, we got it.
66
00:03:56,064 --> 00:04:00,609
Excuse me. I was looking for...
67
00:04:00,609 --> 00:04:05,458
Don't even think about it!
68
00:04:05,458 --> 00:04:07,775
I'm looking for "How Green Was My Valley."
69
00:04:07,775 --> 00:04:09,913
Huh?
70
00:04:09,913 --> 00:04:14,672
It is a beautifully acted depiction
of life in a small town in Wales.
71
00:04:14,672 --> 00:04:17,249
It won five Academy Awards! It's a classic!
72
00:04:17,249 --> 00:04:19,751
Oh. Well, uh, this is a shot in the dark,
73
00:04:19,751 --> 00:04:26,566
but you might try looking in the Classics section.
74
00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:28,646
Uh... you're taking "How Green Was My Valley?"
75
00:04:28,646 --> 00:04:29,552
I heard it was great.
76
00:04:29,552 --> 00:04:30,719
Yes, but you heard it from me!
77
00:04:30,719 --> 00:04:36,250
You were standing next to me in the line!
78
00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:38,358
Excuse me, is there another copy?
79
00:04:38,358 --> 00:04:43,740
Oh yeah, that would be across the street
in our "How Green Was My Valley" annex.
80
00:04:54,504 --> 00:04:56,024
Hey Daphne. Come on, you're just in time.
81
00:04:56,024 --> 00:04:57,759
It's starting.
82
00:04:57,759 --> 00:04:59,480
I don't get this show.
83
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:01,749
People send in videos of themselves having
84
00:05:01,749 --> 00:05:04,320
the most embarrassing and painful accidents.
85
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:08,953
They add cartoon noises and music and
everyone laughs themselves silly.
86
00:05:08,953 --> 00:05:17,626
Boy, I bet that hurt!
87
00:05:17,626 --> 00:05:19,178
Well, what's wrong with you?
88
00:05:19,178 --> 00:05:23,773
Frankly, I have had it with the
whole boorish, ill-mannered world.
89
00:05:23,773 --> 00:05:26,652
Look, Dad, would you mind terribly
if I used the TV tonight?
90
00:05:26,652 --> 00:05:28,825
I went to three video stores to get this tape.
91
00:05:28,825 --> 00:05:30,768
I'm just dying to see it.
92
00:05:30,768 --> 00:05:33,592
Sure, go ahead. How many times can you watch
93
00:05:33,592 --> 00:05:38,536
a dog get hit with a swinging door?
94
00:05:38,536 --> 00:05:50,171
Depends upon the dog.
95
00:05:50,171 --> 00:05:52,772
What the hell is that?!
96
00:05:52,772 --> 00:05:58,763
The windows are rattling, the walls
are shaking, and I am talking to no one!!
97
00:05:58,763 --> 00:06:00,691
Well, I see our neighbor's at it again.
98
00:06:00,691 --> 00:06:02,433
Not for long!
99
00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:03,711
I'm gonna take a nap.
100
00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:05,755
Frasier: Dad, you can't possibly
expect to sleep in this racket.
101
00:06:05,755 --> 00:06:08,031
Are you kidding? I've slept through worse than this.
102
00:06:08,031 --> 00:06:11,536
In Korea I dropped off in a foxhole
right outside P'Anmunjom.
103
00:06:11,536 --> 00:06:13,499
By the time I woke up the cease-fire was over and
104
00:06:13,499 --> 00:06:15,721
I was the only one who didn't know about it.
105
00:06:15,721 --> 00:06:18,258
Talk about having egg on your face.
106
00:06:18,258 --> 00:06:20,175
Yes. Yes, would you please connect
me with the young man
107
00:06:20,175 --> 00:06:22,472
who's just moved into the penthouse upstairs.
108
00:06:22,472 --> 00:06:23,570
No, I don't know his name!
109
00:06:23,570 --> 00:06:25,378
He's in the penthouse!
110
00:06:25,378 --> 00:06:28,234
He has shaggy hair, tattoos all over him,
111
00:06:28,234 --> 00:06:29,250
his body is pierced.
112
00:06:29,250 --> 00:06:39,426
Oh, and I don't know if I mentioned
this but he's in the penthouse!
113
00:06:39,426 --> 00:06:42,088
Never mind.
114
00:06:42,088 --> 00:06:45,423
Has the world completely lost the
concept of common courtesy?
115
00:06:45,423 --> 00:06:48,538
Am I the only one who is resisting this tide?!
116
00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:53,314
People of Seattle, listen to me!
117
00:06:53,314 --> 00:06:55,626
We are not barbarians!
118
00:06:55,626 --> 00:06:59,273
We are not Neanderthals and we are not French!
119
00:06:59,273 --> 00:07:06,384
Do you hear that, you up there?! [
120
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,752
That's his own music he's listening to, you know.
121
00:07:08,752 --> 00:07:10,880
His name is Freddie Chainsaw.
122
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:15,807
Chainsaw? Of the Newport Chainsaws?
123
00:07:15,807 --> 00:07:19,927
How does an arrested adolescent
who barely knows two chords get a penthouse?
124
00:07:19,927 --> 00:07:22,822
His last album sold five million copies.
125
00:07:22,822 --> 00:07:33,078
Oh. Well, then, I'll just add
that to my list of reasons to die.
126
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,696
You know, personally, I like it.
127
00:07:34,696 --> 00:07:38,041
But then, we Brits have always
been on the cutting edge.
128
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,584
You should have heard the punk
rockers who rented the flat below me
129
00:07:40,584 --> 00:07:41,710
a few years back.
130
00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:45,016
They'd play the same song over and over again
131
00:07:45,016 --> 00:07:51,350
Flesh is burning... nana nana nana.
Flesh is burning... nana nana nana.
132
00:07:51,350 --> 00:07:56,110
Oh no. I'm gonna have that tune in me head all day now.
133
00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:57,044
Yes, well, thank you for that, Daphne.
134
00:07:57,044 --> 00:08:12,353
But I've been waiting all day to watch my movie.
135
00:08:12,353 --> 00:08:21,126
Doesn't he ever stop for sex and drugs?!
136
00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:23,143
Hello. Yes. Please,
137
00:08:23,143 --> 00:08:27,423
I insist on being connected with
the young man in the penthouse.
138
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:31,093
Yes, hello, Mr. Chainsaw? Yes, how do you do?
139
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:32,942
I'm Dr. Frasier Crane. I am your neighbor;
140
00:08:32,942 --> 00:08:34,799
I live right below you.
141
00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:38,847
Yes, do you have any idea how loud your music is?
142
00:08:38,847 --> 00:08:54,239
Oh. You do? Well... thank you.
143
00:08:54,239 --> 00:08:55,366
I'm going out!
144
00:08:55,366 --> 00:08:55,938
What?
145
00:08:55,938 --> 00:08:56,959
I'm going out!
146
00:08:56,959 --> 00:08:57,701
What?
147
00:08:57,701 --> 00:08:59,526
I AM GOING OUT!
148
00:08:59,526 --> 00:09:01,143
Hey, Frasier, will you keep it down out there.
149
00:09:01,143 --> 00:09:03,351
I'm trying to take a nap!
150
00:09:11,837 --> 00:09:15,470
Smell me, Niles.
151
00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:16,562
Grandpa!
152
00:09:16,562 --> 00:09:19,534
Exactly! On my way down in the elevator today
153
00:09:19,534 --> 00:09:22,079
a woman thinks nothing of lighting up a cigarette.
154
00:09:22,079 --> 00:09:23,390
Has the world gone mad?
155
00:09:23,390 --> 00:09:25,134
I know exactly how you feel.
156
00:09:25,134 --> 00:09:28,174
This morning I discovered a ding
in the door of my car.
157
00:09:28,174 --> 00:09:30,433
Let me guess - no note on the windshield?
158
00:09:30,433 --> 00:09:33,989
No. And even worse, after I'd left
the car off at the body shop,
159
00:09:33,989 --> 00:09:36,653
the rental agency didn't have a single luxury car left.
160
00:09:36,653 --> 00:09:41,121
They stuck me with some vehicle
I believe they call a Hunchback.
161
00:09:41,121 --> 00:09:44,333
No. I think that would be a Hatchback, Niles.
162
00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:48,000
It's painted panic-button red, with
a large rear window that pops open.
163
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,232
Oh, that would be the Hatchback.
164
00:09:50,232 --> 00:10:00,471
Well, there's a novel idea: name
the car after its most hideous feature.
165
00:10:00,471 --> 00:10:02,399
I presume it was a toss-up between "Hatchback" and
166
00:10:02,399 --> 00:10:06,783
"What's that odor coming from the floor?"
167
00:10:06,783 --> 00:10:10,349
Oh, look, Niles - free table! Go, go, go, go!
168
00:10:10,349 --> 00:10:11,165
Oh, the biscotti!
169
00:10:11,165 --> 00:10:11,845
Leave it!
170
00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:17,144
Oh, no - go on without me!
171
00:10:17,144 --> 00:10:17,910
Oh, there!
172
00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:23,444
Oh!
173
00:10:23,444 --> 00:10:24,835
Oh, check on table one!
174
00:10:24,835 --> 00:10:36,185
All right, fine.
175
00:10:36,185 --> 00:10:38,179
Oh, we're not hovering, believe me.
176
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:42,584
It's just that there... well,
there's really no place else to stand.
177
00:10:42,584 --> 00:10:43,930
Oh, just take your time, please.
178
00:10:43,930 --> 00:10:46,387
There's no rush.
179
00:10:46,387 --> 00:10:48,489
Is the owner of a red Hatchback here?
180
00:10:48,489 --> 00:10:50,273
It's about to be towed.
181
00:10:50,273 --> 00:10:51,257
Niles, isn't that your car?
182
00:10:51,257 --> 00:10:54,970
Shh! Someone will hear you!
183
00:10:54,970 --> 00:10:56,729
Niles, it's about to be towed!
184
00:10:56,729 --> 00:10:57,835
I'm not owning up to that car.
185
00:10:57,835 --> 00:11:01,761
I don't care if it's careening
toward a baby carriage!
186
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:03,063
Oh. Oh, thank you so much.
187
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:08,137
Take care, have a lovely day.
188
00:11:08,137 --> 00:11:11,119
Excuse me, but we were waiting for this table.
189
00:11:11,119 --> 00:11:14,069
So get another one.
190
00:11:14,069 --> 00:11:15,515
Well, there aren't any.
191
00:11:15,515 --> 00:11:17,195
Look, you knew that we were waiting for it.
192
00:11:17,195 --> 00:11:18,755
We politely stood back and let
those people leave and then
193
00:11:18,755 --> 00:11:20,429
you just jumped right in here!
194
00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:24,715
Well, you won't make that mistake again.
195
00:11:24,715 --> 00:11:25,741
Frasier, Frasier... forget it.
196
00:11:25,741 --> 00:11:27,043
We'll just... we'll wait for another table.
197
00:11:27,043 --> 00:11:30,477
No, we won't! This isn't about the table anymore!
198
00:11:30,477 --> 00:11:33,556
This is about the erosion of common decency.
199
00:11:33,556 --> 00:11:37,074
Sir, when you treat me this way you
encourage me to be discourteous to another.
200
00:11:37,074 --> 00:11:41,002
And so on and so on.
201
00:11:41,002 --> 00:11:45,292
You don't have any manners, do you?
202
00:11:45,292 --> 00:11:56,539
Then perhaps what you need is an etiquette lesson!!
203
00:11:56,539 --> 00:12:00,792
SIT DOWN, NILES!
204
00:12:00,792 --> 00:12:02,635
My brother will have a decaf.
205
00:12:10,044 --> 00:12:15,968
Flesh is burning, nana nana nana...
206
00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:23,516
Nana nana nana... flesh is burning... nana nana nana...
207
00:12:23,516 --> 00:12:25,388
Oh, hi, Fras. How you feeling?
208
00:12:25,388 --> 00:12:27,043
Fine.
209
00:12:27,043 --> 00:12:30,633
I didn't ask you yesterday how your day went.
210
00:12:30,633 --> 00:12:32,123
What did Niles tell you?
211
00:12:32,123 --> 00:12:34,521
Nothing! Geez, can't I ask you how your day went?
212
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,315
How was work?
213
00:12:36,315 --> 00:12:40,729
How's your bad-ass self?
214
00:12:40,729 --> 00:12:42,682
Dammit! Niles blabbed!
215
00:12:42,682 --> 00:12:44,316
No, he didn't.
216
00:12:44,316 --> 00:12:45,833
You made the people of Seattle column.
217
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:50,664
Right here, under "The Crane Mutiny."
218
00:12:50,664 --> 00:12:53,811
"Three cheers for Dr. Frasier Crane,
who struck a blow against
219
00:12:53,811 --> 00:12:57,145
rudeness yesterday in a coffeehouse melee."
220
00:12:57,145 --> 00:12:59,017
Perfect!
221
00:12:59,017 --> 00:13:01,339
Now all of Seattle knows about my loutish behavior!
222
00:13:01,339 --> 00:13:02,313
What are you talking about?
223
00:13:02,313 --> 00:13:03,729
This guy had it coming.
224
00:13:03,729 --> 00:13:05,482
I can just picture it.
225
00:13:05,482 --> 00:13:06,798
He probably looked at you and he thought,
226
00:13:06,798 --> 00:13:12,313
"This guy's a creampuff, you know.
A wuss... a wimp... a cupcake..."
227
00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:13,415
Dad!
228
00:13:13,415 --> 00:13:18,505
I'm sorry, I'm just so proud of you!
229
00:13:18,505 --> 00:13:20,777
Ah, there he is, the man who floats like a
230
00:13:20,777 --> 00:13:27,592
lepidoptera and stings like a hymenoptera.
231
00:13:27,592 --> 00:13:29,295
Niles, I think you're just jealous.
232
00:13:29,295 --> 00:13:31,440
Jealous? Don't be ridiculous!
233
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:32,830
This is my favorite part.
234
00:13:32,830 --> 00:13:35,721
"With one swift move the good doctor hoisted the miscreant
235
00:13:35,721 --> 00:13:37,369
out on his ear, declaring,
236
00:13:37,369 --> 00:13:40,345
'What you need is an etiquette lesson.'"
237
00:13:40,345 --> 00:13:43,995
I love that! You got your own tough-guy catchphrase!
238
00:13:43,995 --> 00:13:44,912
It's perfect for you, Frasier.
239
00:13:44,912 --> 00:13:49,882
Dirty Harry meets Emily Post.
240
00:13:49,882 --> 00:13:51,788
Come on. Show me how you grabbed him. Use Niles.
241
00:13:51,788 --> 00:13:55,657
No, no Dad. I will not toss Niles about the room.
242
00:13:55,657 --> 00:14:02,368
Oh no, go ahead. Rough me up,
Mr. Big Hero Bully Bouncer!
243
00:14:02,368 --> 00:14:03,697
Did that sound jealous?
244
00:14:03,697 --> 00:14:04,554
A tad.
245
00:14:04,554 --> 00:14:05,496
Well, all right, I'm jealous.
246
00:14:05,496 --> 00:14:08,539
Why shouldn't I be? All my life
I've backed out of fights
247
00:14:08,539 --> 00:14:10,569
and watching you leap into the fray like that,
248
00:14:10,569 --> 00:14:14,834
I... it made me think just once
I'd like to experience what you felt -
249
00:14:14,834 --> 00:14:16,263
go nose to nose.
250
00:14:16,263 --> 00:14:17,639
Oh, your day will come, son.
251
00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:27,844
I don't know. I tried it this morning
with my dry cleaner, Mr. Kim.
252
00:14:27,844 --> 00:14:30,719
I decided to give him a good
tongue-lashing because he'd shattered
253
00:14:30,719 --> 00:14:33,855
the mother-of-pearl buttons on my best waistcoat.
254
00:14:33,855 --> 00:14:36,466
Unfortunately, due to his tenuous grasp of English and
255
00:14:36,466 --> 00:14:38,204
the fact that his mother's name is Pearl
256
00:14:38,204 --> 00:14:44,817
I was forced to flee his establishment
amid a shower of coat hangers.
257
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:46,601
Good morning, Dr. Crane.
258
00:14:46,601 --> 00:14:50,289
And to you, Dr. Crane, our very own
knight in shining armor...
259
00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:51,506
Oh, great.
260
00:14:51,506 --> 00:14:54,283
I want you to know that your assertiveness inspired me.
261
00:14:54,283 --> 00:14:57,572
For weeks now, some louse has been
removing my wet clothes from
262
00:14:57,572 --> 00:15:00,864
the washer and leaving them on the table in a soggy mess.
263
00:15:00,864 --> 00:15:03,496
This morning, I decided to get my revenge.
264
00:15:03,496 --> 00:15:08,330
So I took off my new red panties and
I popped them in with his whites.
265
00:15:08,330 --> 00:15:10,434
Bravo, Daphne. Good for you.
266
00:15:10,434 --> 00:15:14,754
God, I wish I'd been there.
267
00:15:14,754 --> 00:15:17,072
Daphne, don't you think you were overreacting just a bit?
268
00:15:17,072 --> 00:15:18,305
Absolutely not.
269
00:15:18,305 --> 00:15:22,609
Those were my panties and I wasn't afraid to use them.
270
00:15:22,609 --> 00:15:24,776
Fras, why do you keep backing away from this?
271
00:15:24,776 --> 00:15:26,538
I mean, you should be proud of yourself.
272
00:15:26,538 --> 00:15:28,008
We all think you did the right thing.
273
00:15:28,008 --> 00:15:29,239
The newspaper does too.
274
00:15:29,239 --> 00:15:29,978
That's right.
275
00:15:29,978 --> 00:15:32,702
And I'm going to fix you a proper hero's breakfast.
276
00:15:32,702 --> 00:15:33,583
No. No, no... Daphne.
277
00:15:33,583 --> 00:15:34,521
Please, really.
278
00:15:34,521 --> 00:15:35,578
It's not necessary.
279
00:15:35,578 --> 00:15:36,343
Thank you all.
280
00:15:36,343 --> 00:15:39,979
It's just that this isn't sitting well with me.
281
00:15:39,979 --> 00:15:45,833
I find it hard to believe any good can come of violence.
282
00:15:45,833 --> 00:15:52,998
That's it again!
283
00:15:52,998 --> 00:16:07,073
Mr. Chainsaw. This is Dr. Frasier Crane...
284
00:16:07,073 --> 00:16:11,652
Go ahead, Daphne. Make my eggs.
285
00:16:24,636 --> 00:16:26,796
You know, I do wish people would stop making such a fuss.
286
00:16:26,796 --> 00:16:32,434
They will, if you quit walking up and down the hall.
287
00:16:32,434 --> 00:16:33,741
You're on in five seconds.
288
00:16:33,741 --> 00:16:40,585
Oh yes, all right.
289
00:16:40,585 --> 00:16:43,117
Hello, this is Dr. Frasier Crane.
290
00:16:43,117 --> 00:16:44,514
Who's on the line, Roz?
291
00:16:44,514 --> 00:16:46,172
We have Mitch on line three.
292
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:49,260
He's having trouble with his neighbors.
293
00:16:49,260 --> 00:16:50,243
Hello, Mitch.
294
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:51,885
Make that had trouble.
295
00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:56,132
This idiot next door had his leaf-blower
going at 7:00am, again.
296
00:16:56,132 --> 00:16:57,363
Oh, that's very inconsiderate.
297
00:16:57,363 --> 00:17:01,337
I'll say. That's why I decided to
give him an "etiquette lesson."
298
00:17:01,337 --> 00:17:07,572
I grabbed that leaf-blower and smashed it against atree.
299
00:17:07,572 --> 00:17:10,346
Mitch, I must say I'm stunned.
300
00:17:10,346 --> 00:17:15,473
I can't imagine amore extreme response
to such a minor infraction.
301
00:17:15,473 --> 00:17:18,989
...so I snuck into his backyard and shoved
a whole pound of rotten shrimp
302
00:17:18,989 --> 00:17:23,000
into his air conditioner! Come on summer!
303
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:29,352
...hey, he asked for it. So I put
100 scorpions in a FedEx package.
304
00:17:29,352 --> 00:17:33,153
Look, I'm sorry, but no matter how provoked you may have been,
305
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:37,958
there is no earthly justification for...
SETTING SOMEONE'S LAWN ON FIRE!!
306
00:17:37,958 --> 00:17:39,772
But she doesn't curb her dogs!
307
00:17:39,772 --> 00:17:42,648
Oh...
308
00:17:42,648 --> 00:17:45,813
You don't take any guff. Why should I?
309
00:17:45,813 --> 00:17:48,686
Rochelle... all of you... look,
310
00:17:48,686 --> 00:17:52,399
don't you realize that your behavior
is just a bit extreme?!
311
00:17:52,399 --> 00:17:56,368
I displayed a minor bit of force in
order to just make a point.
312
00:17:56,368 --> 00:18:00,222
I didn't go around smashing windows
or torching lawns!
313
00:18:00,222 --> 00:18:01,581
Where does it end?
314
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,605
Are you saying that what I did was wrong?
315
00:18:03,605 --> 00:18:04,735
Of course I am!
316
00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:06,249
But what you did was okay?
317
00:18:06,249 --> 00:18:14,197
No, no! I... come to think of it,
what I did was just as wrong.
318
00:18:14,197 --> 00:18:17,592
I mean, who am I to draw the line
at the acceptable level of force?
319
00:18:17,592 --> 00:18:20,430
Because the next person moves a little
farther, and the next person,
320
00:18:20,430 --> 00:18:23,558
a little farther still until we finally
end up with scorpions flying
321
00:18:23,558 --> 00:18:28,099
through the mail like Christmas bundt cakes!
322
00:18:28,099 --> 00:18:31,926
What we must all agree to do is to resolve
our differences with
323
00:18:31,926 --> 00:18:34,879
discussion and reason.
324
00:18:34,879 --> 00:18:37,879
As a matter of fact, I'm going to call
the gentleman that
325
00:18:37,879 --> 00:18:41,590
I manhandled and... and apologize to him
for not having worked
326
00:18:41,590 --> 00:18:46,870
out our dispute in the right way in the
first place-through words.
327
00:18:46,870 --> 00:18:50,128
The key here is restraint.
328
00:18:50,128 --> 00:18:56,159
And I do hopeyou'll follow my lead...
Becky with the nail gun.
329
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,580
Oh... people. People, please.
330
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:12,853
There's no need for that. I'm no hero.
331
00:19:12,853 --> 00:19:14,795
No one's ever given me the thumbs up.
332
00:19:14,795 --> 00:19:16,722
Well, Niles, I've driven on the freeway with you.
333
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:21,003
The rest of the hand has been well-represented.
334
00:19:21,003 --> 00:19:25,004
Oh, look, there he is. Mr. Harvey,
I'm so glad you could come.
335
00:19:25,004 --> 00:19:30,033
You remember my brother, Niles, and
uh... we're at "our" table.
336
00:19:30,033 --> 00:19:31,924
Look, I'm here, so say what's on your mind.
337
00:19:31,924 --> 00:19:34,025
Well, there's no need for any hostility.
338
00:19:34,025 --> 00:19:35,484
I just came to talk.
339
00:19:35,484 --> 00:19:38,881
Talk? You're not gonna take another shot at me?
340
00:19:38,881 --> 00:19:42,761
No! No, they'll be nothing like that here today!
341
00:19:42,761 --> 00:19:45,268
Now, listen, I could try to explain
my behavior by saying that
342
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:47,321
these are stressful times we live in, that
343
00:19:47,321 --> 00:19:48,602
I had reached the end of my tether.
344
00:19:48,602 --> 00:19:51,331
But I won't do that, because you see, I was 100% wrong.
345
00:19:51,331 --> 00:19:55,928
I had absolutely no right to touch
you and I accept full responsibility.
346
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:58,092
Well, I'm glad to hear you say that.
347
00:19:58,092 --> 00:19:59,785
And I hope you all heard that too.
348
00:19:59,785 --> 00:20:01,565
So, then you accept my apology?
349
00:20:01,565 --> 00:20:02,954
No, I'm suing you.
350
00:20:02,954 --> 00:20:05,795
And I've got a lot of witnesses that
just heard you admit you were wrong.
351
00:20:05,795 --> 00:20:08,531
But, but... these are stressful times we live in and
352
00:20:08,531 --> 00:20:10,492
I'd reached the end of my tether!
353
00:20:10,492 --> 00:20:13,953
Tough! I'm nailing you for assault!
354
00:20:13,953 --> 00:20:15,585
But I hardly touched you!
355
00:20:15,585 --> 00:20:18,314
Oh, Frasier, I'm not surprised
he's hiding behind lawyers.
356
00:20:18,314 --> 00:20:24,280
What other behavior would you expect... from a chicken?
357
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:25,735
What did you say?
358
00:20:25,735 --> 00:20:27,025
I was speaking to my brother.
359
00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:30,863
But, to put it in language you can understand...
360
00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:31,752
bawk bawk bawk bawk!
361
00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:36,369
Niles! This is no time for you to assert yourself!
362
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:38,537
Hey, your brother's making trouble here...
363
00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:39,992
Oh, oh, oh... what are you gonna do?
364
00:20:39,992 --> 00:20:43,481
Flap me with one of your big fluffy wings?
365
00:20:43,481 --> 00:20:45,410
Niles, stop it! Please excuse him!
366
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:47,135
Oh, for god's sake, Frasier don't
waste your breath on this
367
00:20:47,135 --> 00:20:50,353
hairy, knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing troglodyte
368
00:20:50,353 --> 00:20:57,817
who's probably the only male in
existence who suffers from penis envy!
369
00:20:57,817 --> 00:21:04,528
You look here, buddy...
370
00:21:04,528 --> 00:21:12,719
Niles!! Niles... are you all right?!
371
00:21:12,719 --> 00:21:15,383
Counter suit!
372
00:21:15,383 --> 00:21:18,711
Oh, my god!! Nobody move him!
373
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:19,951
I barely touched him!
374
00:21:19,951 --> 00:21:21,585
Then you admit you touched him!
375
00:21:21,585 --> 00:21:23,856
He admits it!
376
00:21:23,856 --> 00:21:26,194
Oh, Niles. Niles, I'm here for you.
377
00:21:26,194 --> 00:21:32,327
I promise we're going to get you
the best care that THIS MAN'S MONEY CAN BUY!
378
00:21:32,327 --> 00:21:33,667
My god, Niles, that was brilliant.
379
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:35,019
You even got a tear in your eye!
380
00:21:35,019 --> 00:21:38,315
I landed on a fork.
30334
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof