Original subtitles

(crickets chirping)

(suspenseful music)

(speaking in Latin)

- [Holly] The year was 1924.

Edward Lomax, the board heir to a Robert Barrons empire

and obsessed with work with Aleister Crowley,

acquired a genuine grimoire during a trip to eastern Europe.

The decadent fools were messing with a dangerous

ancient spell that opened a gateway to the underworld.

(speaking Latin)

- Do you really think you can summon an actual demon,

Eddie boy?

- I certainly hope so.

I paid that old gypsy plenty for this book.

(speaking Latin)

(electricity buzzing)

(whooshing)

The incantation didn't work.

That gypsy bitch swindled me.

- Shut up and fuck me you silly boy.

(dramatic music)

(moaning)

(heavy breathing)

(fire crackling)

(moaning)

(heavy breathing)

(moaning)

(demonic growling)

(demonically) At last I'm free.

At least I'm free!

(roaring)

(screaming)

(sizzling)

(indistinct chatter)

- Abigail wrote these stories down in her diary.

Also claiming that she was possessed when she killed Edward.

Then she killed herself.

- Sounds to me like she was a paranoid schizophrenic.

- Sounds to me like she needed a shrink.

A very good shrink.

- Or maybe she was telling the truth.

- The house has belonged to the Lomax family for centuries.

Ever since that night in 1924,

it's been associated with paranormal phenomena.

Missing persons and a bizarre series of gruesome murders.

Psychics have wanted to investigate the house for years.

I am the first that they've allowed inside.

- Was it your slammin' rep as a medium that sold them?

Or do they just like hot PhD's?

- Do you ever quit?

(chuckling)

You have to excuse him, Dr. Brown,

he suffers a terrible affliction.

In Latin I believe it's referred to as totalist assholeist.

- I believe that the Lomax house is haunted.

And by the same demon that Edward and Abigail summoned

over 90 years ago.

I want to do a seance tonight

to prove once and for all that the skeptics are wrong

and that the spirits do live amongst us.

- Why involve us, then?

- If it were up to me, I wouldn't.

But the property owner insisted.

You have a very popular show, your Fright Finders.

He wants you to go in and document everything that I find

for broadcast.

- The only thing we're going to document

is you making a fool out of yourself.

But the show will kill in the ratings

and it will make for a great panel at Comicon.

What do you guys say?

Guess we're in.

- I hope we prove you right, Holly.

Lex wouldn't know a ghost if it bit him on the ass.

- That remark would have really hurt my feelings, Susan,

if I had any.

(snickering)

- Then it's settled.

The owner will meet us there in 90 minutes.

- How could you be so sure we were going to say yes?

- I'm a psychic, remember?

("Femme Fatale" by Gemma Ray)

♫ I've got my eye on you

♫ I've got my eye on you

♫ And a motive too

♫ Your foolin' around's

♫ Getting blood on my shoes

♫ Ooh

♫ Ooh-Oh-Wah-Ah-Ah-Oh-Oh

♫ Ooh-Wah-Ah-Ah

♫ I've set my sites on you

♫ I've set my sites on you

♫ Got an alibi too

♫ So don't look around

♫ I've got nothing to lose

♫ Ooh-Wah-Ah-Ah-Oh-Oh

♫ Ooh-Wah-Ah-Ah-Oh-Oh

♫ Ooh-Wah-Ah-Ah

♫ Ooh-Wah-Ah-Ah-Oh-Oh

♫ Ooh-Wah-Ah-Ah ♫

(gunshot)

- Five bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms,

a swimming pool, and a bonus guest house.

This house would be a real steal if it weren't haunted.

But how could you prove that

or disprove it?

And would you live in a house

with that kind of storied reputation?

Would you even spend one night?

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

(suspenseful music)

- We're about to enter the legendary Lomax house

where famous medium and demonologist Dr. Holly Brown

will attempt to contact the spirits that have been rumored

to have murdered over a dozen people here.

It could be the most dangerous assignment

that our crack team of supernatural investigators

has ever dared to tackle.

Cut.

Sweet.

This place looks like something out of an old

Scooby Doo episode.

- I would have gotten away with it

if wasn't for those meddling kids.

Zoinks. - [Lex] Zoinks.

- What are you guys talking about?

- Hey, I'm Tom Lomax.

I'm the owner of the place.

- Really?

I'd figured you'd be older.

- Ah, well I inherited it a couple of years ago

and I can't rent it, I can't sell it.

Thanks to the fucking internet,

everybody on the planet knows about its reputation.

- I'm Lex.

These are my associates Susan and RJ.

Thanks for allowing us to document this very important event

in the history of parapsychology.

- You can cut the crap.

You and I both know that these stories

about my great grandfather summoning demons is nonsense.

- Very unhealthy attitude, Mr. Lomax.

- You must be the psychic that I talked to on the phone.

- Holly Brown.

So tell me, is it true that mummified bodies

of seven men were found in the house in 1968

and that your family had it covered up by the police?

- (chuckles) I don't really know anything about that.

I was born in 1980.

And my uncle left me this place

along with a huge property tax bill.

Which is why I need to sell it ASAP.

I'm hoping that after your show airs

people will see that it's just an ordinary house,

not the Amityville Horror, and I can get some real offers.

- And what happens if we prove

this house is really haunted?

- Well then I'll just write a letter to Santa Clause

and ask him to buy it.

- Well tell Santa Clause he still owes me a Optimus Prime

from when I was 12.

- Let's the equipment inside, pronto.

(footsteps)

- Don't worry, I aint afraid of no ghost.

- You should be.

(footsteps)

(door creaking)

(wind howling)

- Infrared cameras ready.

(fingers snapping)

EVP-sensitive microphones online.

- Magnetic-flex ectoplasm detector is activated and

(beeping)

calibrated.

- Broad-spectrum radiation monitors

and laser thermometers.

Ready.

- Okay, let's get started.

Everybody take a seat.

- Don't you need some glass beads and a chicken?

Maybe a Ouija board, perhaps?

- You watch too much television, RJ.

My spirit summoning tool is right here.

(sighs)

Everyone, join hands.

- Everybody concentrate and help her.

(fire crackling)

(deep exhale)

- I know that you're here.

(fire crackling)

I am the doorway.

I know that you're here.

I am the doorway.

Show yourself.

I know that you're here.

I am the doorway.

Show yourself.

I know that you're here.

I am the doorway.

I know that you're here.

I am the doorway.

Show yourself.

(speaking Latin)

(glass rattling)

I know that you are here.

I am the door.

Show your self.

(windows crashing)

(wind howling)

(demonically speaking Latin)

(demonically) I know that you're here.

I am the doorway.

I know that you're here.

I am the door.

Show yourself.

(whimpers)

(demonically speaking Latin)

(fire howling)

- [Lex] Did we get that on camera?

Tell me the cameras kept working.

- Dude, we are good.

- This shit is gold.

- Are you okay?

- (deep exhale) I think so.

Did we get anything.

- Hell yeah.

We just got a clear-cut manifestation.

Right on camera.

- That was incredible.

How did you do that?

I've seen every medium trick in the book

but you are definitely the best.

- Whatever that was wasn't a trick.

(sighs)

Now that I've verified the spirits presence

I'm gonna need your permission to clear the house.

- Clear the house?

Like an exorcism of the building?

- Exactly.

- Whatever it takes for you guys to certify that the house

is ghost free, is fine by me.

- Guys, I'm getting a little creeped out here.

- (scoffs) Are you out of your mind?

This is the episode that's gonna get us off of basic cable

and on to the network.

I don't believe for a second that this is real

but Doc Brown here is the greatest show on earth.

- Come on, guys.

We finally have a chance to be real investigators here.

We're gonna sweep this place all night if we have to.

We're gonna collect all the data we can.

Do I make myself clear?

- Okay.

I need to locate the portal

where the demon crossed in to our world.

And then send it back to hell.

- All right, you want to believe in fairy tales?

I'll play dress up.

Full monitor sweep until dawn.

- I really hope we don't regret this.

- Just fire up another doobie and you'll be fine.

I pay you to get this shit on tape, not to freak out.

(suspenseful music)

(heavy footsteps)

(owl hooting)

(wind chime chiming)

(wind howling)

(door creaking)

(fire crackling)

(equipment beeping)

(buttons clicking)

(equipment whirring, beeping)

(detector beeping normally)

Testing, testing.

You hear?

- I hear you, Lex, copy that.

Let me what you got eyes on.

(equipment whirring, beeping)

- Microphones and camera are online.

Fright Finders ready for action.

(crickets chirping)

(towel rustling)

(door creaking)

- Tom.

- Yeah, do I know you?

Are you a part of Lex's crew?

- You look just like Edward.

- Edward?

- Your great grandfather, silly.

(zipper scratching)

He was so handsome.

Always knew just where to touch me.

It feels so good.

See?

(heavy breathing)

- Why you doing this?

- Why do you think?

I'm just paying you back for setting me free, Edward.

(suspenseful music)

(detector beeping rapidly)

(loud screeching)

(1920's music)

- RJ, you picking that up?

- Picking what up?

- That song.

- [RJ] I don't hear anything.

- This microphone must be broken

if you can't hear music this loud.

- If the microphone is broken, Lex, how come I can hear you?

(1920's music loudly playing, screeching)

(groaning)

I just lost your signal, Lex.

You're offline, Lex.

Hello?

Hello?

Lex?

(detector beeping rapidly)

- RJ, there's somebody out here.

And I don't think it's Holly.

- You see someone?

Where?

- Right in front of me, on the bench.

Can't you see her?

(equipment beeping, whirring)

- There's no one there, Sus.

Are you and Lex both dropping acid

or are you just trying to fuck with me?

- She's right here, RJ.

What are you talking about?

(whooshing)

(detector beeping normally)

(monitor crackling)

- I just lost your signal, too.

Hello?

Is anybody out there?

Can anybody hear me?

(suspenseful music)

(pages rustling)

(high-pitch frequency)

(1920's music fading)

(heavy breathing)

(woman giggling)

(screaming)

(man screaming)

(dramatic whooshing)

(man screaming)

(man groaning)

Susan?

Lex?

I got nothing up here but white noise and snow.

So unless you're in the Yukon huntin' Sasquatch

this shit is never gonna get us off basic cable.

- Lex?

(stairs creaking)

Are you okay?

- I Heard all these voices.

All these people, they were...

How are you doing this?

- This isn't me.

This is no trick, Lex.

It's real.

But I found something.

It explains everything.

Come on, I'll show you.

- Holly, wait.

(rapid footsteps)

(floorboards creaking)

(light clicking off)

- I found this in a secret panel.

It must have belonged to Abigail.

- What does it say?

- Oh, it tells a story

about a beautiful angel who seduces the arch angel Samuel.

And then something about it being a sin

to make love to an arch angel.

So the angel was cast from heaven, like Lucifer,

and thrown in to a pit.

It's a place of hell.

Fire and pain.

So the angel became a demon

seeking only to escape her eternal agony.

- I don't understand.

What's that got to do with us?

(floorboards creaking)

- She can only remain on Earth

by sucking the life out of men during sex.

Don't you see?

We've let her out.

She's somewhere in this house.

- That's just a story.

It can't be true.

- You don't think so?

- No.

- Do you remember when you said that I was a hottie?

- I meant it.

I wanted you from the first time I saw you.

- Then show me.

(dramatic music)

(kissing)

(heavy breathing)

(moaning)

(heavy breathing)

(moaning)

(headboard banging)

(moaning)

(rapid breathing)

(moaning)

(rapid breathing)

- You're fucking a demon.

- Exactly.

(screaming)

(white noise)

- Fuck this, I'm outta here!

Susan!

- RJ, (heavy footsteps)

it's Holly's book, have you seen her?

- I Haven't seen shit.

Montiors went down

and I've been sitting around with my thumb in my ass.

- All right, so you haven't seen Lex or Tom, either?

- I thought they were all in here.

- No, if what I read in this book is true,

we've got to get everybody out of this house right now.

- Well that's fine with me,

I never wanted to be here in the first place.

- Just go out to the guest house

and see if you can find Holly.

I'll check upstairs, okay?

- Shouldn't we stick together?

- No, no time.

Now go!

- Holly!

(suspenseful music)

(sizzling)

(screaming)

Holly!

Uh...

- Were you looking for me?

- Yeah.

Susan's got your book.

She wants to bail out of here.

- Does she?

- Yeah, I know you want to do your exorcism and everything

but I think she's right.

We got to get the hell out of dodge.

- (chuckles) I don't think that's gonna be necessary.

- Stay away from her, RJ.

She's possessed.

She killed Lex and Tom.

- [RJ] What?

- They're both dead, RJ.

- Don't be deprived.

You can have me if you want.

- Thanks,

but shouldn't we get to know each other a little first?

- Let's start now.

(screeching, growling)

(speaking Latin)

- All satanic powers, all demons infernal.

All assembly in sector of the devil.

(speaking Latin)

(screaming)

Holly?

- What happened?

- [Susan] I'm not sure.

I think I just beat the hell out of you.

- Thanks, (chuckles)

I think.

(crickets chirping)

(rapid footsteps)

(door slamming)

- Shit.

(keys jingling)

I'm sure glad to be out of that place.

- Me too.

(engine turning)

Me too.

(engine humming)

- Do you believe in ghost or demons?

Do you think it possible for them to enter our world?

Maybe the next time you meet a girl

that seems too good to be true,

she may very well be the ultimate Femme Fatale.

(screaming)

(upbeat rock music)

♫ I don't follow the crowd

♫ Cuz I'm a leper

♫ I don't follow the crowd

♫ I got my wrapper ♫

(Mexican guitar music)

(water bubbling)

Kill, little boo,

kill.

Good fish.