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1
00:00:12,045 --> 00:00:15,038
[CROWD CHEERING]
2
00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:35,492
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
3
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,655
Goodbye, darling.
4
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,095
SOLO:
Just one more, Mrs. Bryant.
5
00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:07,958
- Does your husband know?
- Certainly not, Mr. Solo.
6
00:01:08,135 --> 00:01:11,230
Besides, who's going to try to kidnap me
with you at my side? Get in.
7
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,670
SOLO: As the wife
of the leading presidential candidate...
8
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,809
...I could give you a list
from here to Mendocino.
9
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:24,945
Good morning. I'm sorry I'm late,
but I had to pack for the senator.
10
00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:26,882
Why, certainly, Mrs. Bryant.
11
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:29,387
Monsieur Fran�ois is in Booth 10
waiting for you.
12
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:31,115
Thank you.
13
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:34,759
Uh, gentlemen are not allowed
beyond these portals, sir.
14
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,557
Well, I'm no gentleman. I'm the press.
15
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,962
And taking pictures of Mrs. Bryant?
16
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:42,261
"A Day in the Life of a Candidate's Wife,"
you know.
17
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:43,529
Mm-hm.
18
00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:49,268
Monsieur Fran�ois?
19
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:53,776
Uh, there is a press photographer here
who came in with Mrs. Bryant.
20
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,142
A Mister, uh...?
21
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:57,614
Uh, Solo. Napoleon Solo.
22
00:01:58,151 --> 00:01:59,813
Solo.
23
00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:02,582
Taking pictures for a story
on Mrs. Bryant.
24
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:04,349
Thank you.
25
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,417
It will be quite all right, Mr. Solo.
26
00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:09,620
Only, in order not to make
our other customers self-conscious...
27
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,355
...do you mind?
28
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:15,362
Now, let's see if this is your size.
29
00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:18,334
- Mm-hm.
- Hmm.
30
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:23,009
ETIENNE:
Good morning, madam. I am Etienne.
31
00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:25,145
Isn't Fran�ois taking care of me
this morning?
32
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,577
He will be in presently, madam.
33
00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:31,378
[MIRANDA SIGHS]
34
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:34,749
MIRANDA: Mm!
- Too warm, madam?
35
00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:36,412
MIRANDA:
Mm-hm.
36
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,320
ETIENNE: But it is good for you.
MIRANDA: Oh.
37
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:39,755
It cleanses the pores.
38
00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:41,918
MIRANDA:
But it's so hot.
39
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:44,587
Oh.
40
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,302
Are the towels too hot, madam?
41
00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:53,838
IRINA:
No, they're wonderful.
42
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,738
In fact,
I feel like a different woman already.
43
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,106
SIGNE: Exactly what we're trying
to achieve, madam.
44
00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:00,338
[IRINA GASPS]
45
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,881
SIGNE:
To make you into a new woman.
46
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,076
Good afternoon.
47
00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:07,746
WAVERLY:
Mr. Solo.
48
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,349
It's exactly three hours,
eight and a half minutes...
49
00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:12,042
...since you've contacted this office.
50
00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:13,517
So long? Well, I'm sorry, sir.
51
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,815
Time passes so quickly
when you're in pleasant company.
52
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:17,890
Such a charming woman, Mrs. Bryant.
53
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,356
WAVERLY:
Exactly.
54
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:22,655
And you were assigned, Mr. Solo,
to protect her from being kidnapped.
55
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:25,094
Yes, I can assure you,
she's in the best of health.
56
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,461
After her beauty appointment,
we had cocktails.
57
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:30,331
I dropped her off at her hotel.
Delightful morning.
58
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:34,066
Well, the trouble, Mr. Solo,
is that however delightful the lady may be...
59
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:36,005
...she is not Mrs. Bryant.
60
00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:38,701
Say what?
61
00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:47,611
You are looking at an audiogram,
Napoleon.
62
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:52,522
An exact electronic replica
of Mrs. Bryant's voice, taken from our files.
63
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,793
In an effort to find you,
we just telephoned...
64
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:59,729
...and spoke to the woman
calling herself Mrs. Bryant.
65
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:03,733
This is that audiogram
taken 10 minutes ago.
66
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,930
You notice anything?
67
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:09,941
Well, they're not very much alike,
are they?
68
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:11,703
WAVERLY:
They're not in the least alike.
69
00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:14,643
Mrs. Bryant has been kidnapped
and is now somewhere in the city...
70
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:17,250
...in the hands of Thrush, thanks to you.
71
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:19,443
That's impossible.
I mean, there must be some error.
72
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:22,612
I never left her side
for more than a minute all morning.
73
00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:26,123
Well, a minute's quite enough.
Even 30 seconds, for that matter.
74
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:27,818
No, I still don't believe it.
75
00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:30,062
See for yourself.
76
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:33,098
I'm afraid this time, Napoleon,
they've put one over on you.
77
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:34,700
Well, where could they have done it?
78
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:38,600
I was photographing her all morning,
I didn't leave her side except...
79
00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:41,337
...once I....
80
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:45,910
Well, to put on a little smock
at the beauty parlor.
81
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:48,177
You must have looked divine.
82
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,317
WAVERLY:
Well, that must have been it.
83
00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:53,510
Mr. Kuryakin,
they don't know you there as yet.
84
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:56,714
Check out the place and the personnel.
85
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:59,425
[DOOR OPENS]
86
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:00,583
[DOOR CLOSES]
87
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:04,026
Senator Bryant is leaving for Washington
in 45 minutes.
88
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,666
I suggest you get to him on the double,
Mr. Solo.
89
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:07,926
Does he know?
90
00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:11,035
That's why I want you to hurry.
91
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,696
Well, what could I say to him, uh...?
92
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,742
Well, I don't know the exact words...
93
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,778
...but I think, surely, the senator
has a right to know that the woman...
94
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:22,313
...who's kissing him goodbye
is not his wife.
95
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,284
Oh....
96
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,209
Yes, sir.
97
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:32,389
MIRANDA:
Where am I?
98
00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:34,521
CAXTON:
My dear Mrs. Bryant, no harm will--
99
00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:36,219
What are you doing with me?
100
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,524
Nothing to be alarmed about,
my dear lady.
101
00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:41,630
My husband, where's my husband?
102
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:45,761
At the moment, enjoying the company
of a very charming young lady...
103
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:50,673
...who has the good taste to be
an exact duplicate of yourself, Mrs. Bryant.
104
00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:53,303
A duplicate of me?
105
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,244
A remarkable one.
106
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:58,317
You see, we've been able to condition
the young lady...
107
00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,852
...so that she not only looks
like Miranda Bryant...
108
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:04,349
...but is completely briefed
in every nuance of your life.
109
00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:09,428
Or at least as many nuances
as she'll require for the next 48 hours.
110
00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:11,957
And then we'll be able
to send you back...
111
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:17,161
...suitably conditioned
to obey our slightest command.
112
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,606
You monster.
113
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,366
CAXTON:
Prepare the anesthetic, please.
114
00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:25,535
[MIRANDA GRUNTING]
115
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,692
Great. We've got New Jersey
locked up now.
116
00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:45,832
We should get a few more
from upstate, huh?
117
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:49,265
Go talk to the man. Nicely.
118
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,880
Fairbanks, Senator Bryant?
I've got to see him.
119
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:01,639
You and 200 others.
120
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,716
He's on his way to the airport.
121
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:07,411
Got an appointment in Washington
to see the president in four hours.
122
00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:08,646
He's left?
123
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:12,224
Well, almost.
He's in there saying goodbye to his wife.
124
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,958
I, uh....
I wouldn't if I were you, young man.
125
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:19,463
After all,
they're still practically newlyweds.
126
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:22,192
I must see him before he leaves.
It's absolutely top priority.
127
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:25,237
- It's personal and urgent.
- Hmm.
128
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:28,398
- You're one of Waverly's men, huh?
- That's right.
129
00:08:30,877 --> 00:08:33,779
FAIRBANKS:
Excuse me. Excuse me, please.
130
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:37,611
Excuse me, girls. Excuse me, please.
131
00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:38,911
It's all right, Joseph.
132
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:40,951
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
133
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:43,916
Oh, excuse me.
134
00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:51,196
Mr. Solo, demon photographer is one thing,
peeping Tom quite another.
135
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,595
Mr. Solo was my escort this morning,
darling.
136
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,030
Oh, yes. Hello, Mr. Solo.
137
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,193
Uh, hello, senator.
I-- I must speak to you.
138
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,963
It's rather urgent.
139
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:00,129
Well, go ahead.
140
00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:02,366
Well, it's also confidential. Uh....
141
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:05,812
Mr. Fairbanks had better stay, but, uh....
142
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,539
I have no secrets from my wife, Mr. Solo.
143
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,310
It's all right, darling,
I'll wait for you outside.
144
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,950
Great girl. Always understands.
145
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,028
Are you married, Mr. Solo?
146
00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:25,165
SOLO:
Uh, no, I'm not.
147
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:27,123
Nothing like it, believe me.
148
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:29,201
I do, uh, senator.
149
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:31,998
- Don't forget Charlie, huh?
- Charlie. Say, that's a good idea.
150
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,800
- Read about him.
- Senator, senator, uh....
151
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:36,738
Uh, Mr. Solo, I have about three minutes.
Now, what's on your mind?
152
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,379
All right, uh, believe me,
what I am going to say now...
153
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:41,174
...will not make a great deal of sense...
154
00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:44,579
...but, uh, the woman
that you were just kissing...?
155
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,984
She's not your wife.
156
00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:50,379
What?
157
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:53,482
I-- I don't believe I read you, sir.
158
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:57,495
I-- I know she looks like your wife, senator,
and she acts like your wife...
159
00:09:57,664 --> 00:10:00,657
...and she sounds like your wife,
but she's not your wife.
160
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:04,194
And no one wishes she were
more than I do. It's just that, uh....
161
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,570
I know she's a very reasonable facsimile.
162
00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:08,901
Very, but...
163
00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:13,342
...she is not genuine box top.
164
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:17,076
Do you know what he's talking about?
Am I crazy or is he crazy?
165
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:20,220
FAIRBANKS: I don't know.
He is one of Waverly's men, but....
166
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:22,550
Now, my wife is not my wife?
167
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,892
Uh, no, she isn't.
The real Mrs. Bryant has been kidnapped.
168
00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:29,385
Mr. Solo, are you trying to tell me
that I don't know my own wife?
169
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:32,926
- Well, let's find out.
- Uh, senator, believe me.
170
00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:36,866
Uh, someone has gone to a great deal
of trouble to make us think otherwise.
171
00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:40,097
The real Mrs. Bryant has been kidnapped.
172
00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:42,765
Now, uh, if you reveal
that we're on to them now...
173
00:10:42,942 --> 00:10:45,776
...I don't know what might happen to her,
the real Mrs. Bryant.
174
00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:48,073
All right, Arnold,
call the FBI, call the CIA.
175
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,581
No, you mustn't, for the same reason.
176
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:51,740
He's right, senator.
177
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:55,616
Let's just....
Let's just wait a minute now.
178
00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:59,088
I'm as taken aback by this thing
as you are.
179
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:04,287
I don't know that I believe it,
but whatever we do...
180
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:05,955
...we've got to move carefully.
181
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:09,364
There are 5000 people waiting out there
to nominate you...
182
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:12,062
...as their candidate for president
the end of the week.
183
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:14,366
Any kind of scandal
could tip this whole thing.
184
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:16,407
Arnold, we're not talking politics now.
185
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:18,545
We're talking about my wife,
do you understand?
186
00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:20,543
My wife and her safety.
187
00:11:20,713 --> 00:11:23,547
If what this man says is true,
even partially true--
188
00:11:23,716 --> 00:11:24,945
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
189
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:30,787
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Your car's ready, darling.
190
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:36,952
BRYANT:
It's impossible.
191
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,593
You mean that she isn't my wife?
192
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,003
I'm afraid she isn't, senator.
193
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,833
- What do you want me to do?
SOLO: Go to Washington.
194
00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:51,602
Just as if nothing has happened.
195
00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:55,340
When you come back,
we will have found Mrs. Bryant.
196
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,446
All right.
197
00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:10,394
But if you're wrong about any of this,
if anything happens to my wife...
198
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:15,226
...I'll not only have your job or any job
you ever hope to have, Mr. Solo...
199
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:16,892
...but I'll take on U.N.C.L.E.
200
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,596
- And when I'm finished--
- Yes.
201
00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:21,365
I understand, senator.
202
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,100
Good.
203
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,324
[CROWD CHEERING]
204
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:55,438
You take good care of her, Mr. Solo.
Stay close.
205
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:56,598
Every minute.
206
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,211
And, darling, you're not to take
that kidnap threat seriously.
207
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:01,177
I'm sure it's just one of those cranks.
208
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:04,946
Well, you never know about cranks.
209
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:14,553
You'll call me tonight?
210
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:16,286
As soon as I can.
211
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,454
Whatever the hour, I'll be awake.
212
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,293
Let's go.
213
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,366
[SIREN WAILING]
214
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:51,328
Where are we going?
215
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,962
Just for a ride.
216
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,030
Don't you like the view?
217
00:13:57,970 --> 00:13:59,996
Mr. Solo, watching over me is one thing.
218
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:03,610
Treating me like I'm a prisoner
is quite another.
219
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:08,242
Why don't you stop pretending?
220
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,514
What don't I what?
221
00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:14,819
Why don't you stop
your very clever impersonation...
222
00:14:14,987 --> 00:14:17,320
...of Mrs. Bryant?
223
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,356
My what?
224
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,429
Mr. Solo.
225
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,227
We'll solve the puzzle in a minute or two.
226
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,392
Take this, will you?
227
00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:31,331
Take what?
228
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:34,565
It's concentrated truth serum
in tablet form.
229
00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:39,345
Now, I would rather that you would tell us
everything of your own volition, but....
230
00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:41,140
Of my--?
231
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:43,245
Driver, stop this car and let me out.
232
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:47,183
I'm sorry, madam,
that's quite impossible in this traffic.
233
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,553
[DOOR HANDLE RATTLES]
234
00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:52,721
Mr. Solo, have you taken leave
of your senses?
235
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,485
Stop this car and let me out.
236
00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:56,561
No, not until you tell me
who's behind you...
237
00:14:56,729 --> 00:15:00,291
...what they've done
with the senator's wife, and where she is.
238
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:03,025
You've gone mad. You're absolutely mad.
239
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:06,331
I would rather you would cooperate
of your own will, but if you won't.
240
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,236
You'd better take the pill, madam...
241
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:11,310
...or Napoleon will be forced
to hold your nose and make you take it.
242
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,207
He wouldn't dare.
243
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:14,369
Is that right?
244
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:18,006
[WOMAN YELPING]
245
00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:21,977
[GASPS]
246
00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:29,226
Eight, seven, six, five, four,
three, two, one.
247
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:30,554
Blast off.
248
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:31,891
What's your name?
249
00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:33,692
Miranda Bryant.
250
00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:37,803
No, no, that's not right.
Before I was married, it was Miranda Field.
251
00:15:37,970 --> 00:15:40,838
In school, they called me Butch,
my mother called me Blinkums...
252
00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:42,976
...and my husband calls me
sweetie pie.
253
00:15:43,142 --> 00:15:45,407
Hmm, that's odd.
It's never worked like that before.
254
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:47,308
Maybe her blood
has a high resistance factor.
255
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,607
Give her another pill.
256
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,409
Oh. Here.
257
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:52,240
Thank you.
258
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:54,046
There was a girl in Honduras.
259
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:57,786
I had to give her three pills
before she'd tell her right age.
260
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,289
Is that right?
261
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:03,954
Seven, six, five, four,
three, two, one, blast off.
262
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,223
Once more, what's your name?
263
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:07,367
Miranda Bryant.
264
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:10,002
Before I was married,
it was Miranda Field.
265
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:12,400
When I was in school,
they called me Butch.
266
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:14,473
- My mother called me--
- All right, that's enough.
267
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,906
- Butch I know about.
- You better try another tack.
268
00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:20,409
Where did you first meet the senator,
madam?
269
00:16:22,181 --> 00:16:24,707
I met him in Arnold Fairbanks' office.
270
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:28,582
I was working as a volunteer
on his last campaign.
271
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:31,117
Do you love your husband?
272
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:32,918
Madly.
273
00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:35,284
[YAWNING]
274
00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:37,796
Why are you yawning then?
275
00:16:38,464 --> 00:16:40,433
Does the idea of your husband bore you?
276
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,695
Oh, no, no, no.
My husband's the most marvel--
277
00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:44,860
Excuse me.
278
00:16:45,037 --> 00:16:47,302
[YAWNING]
279
00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:49,408
He's the most marvelous man
in the world.
280
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:52,511
I beg your pardon, but all of a sudden,
I'm very sleepy.
281
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:55,409
- Wonderful.
- Sleepy? Now?
282
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:57,140
She can't be. She's not supposed to be.
283
00:16:57,316 --> 00:16:58,375
- No, no.
- Wake her up.
284
00:16:58,551 --> 00:16:59,814
Wake up. Wake up. Don't do that.
285
00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:02,956
- You know something? You're very nice.
- Stay awake.
286
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:04,920
- Come on now.
- You're very nice.
287
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:07,219
I think I could rather like you.
288
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:09,328
- Don't. Stop that now. Sit up.
- This is soft.
289
00:17:09,495 --> 00:17:12,124
- Keep your eyes open.
- Napoleon, really.
290
00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:13,857
Don't you ever turn it off?
291
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,332
Well, it's not my fault.
292
00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:18,801
When you've got it, you've got it.
293
00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:20,901
I've got it.
294
00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:36,918
Miranda?
295
00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:40,687
Ethel?
296
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:41,883
Jean?
297
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,461
Pat?
298
00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:45,722
Eunice?
299
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,164
Miss Doe?
300
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:52,694
Strange.
301
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,864
[RADIO BEEPING]
302
00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:57,332
Yes?
303
00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,572
It is I.
304
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,338
How's the sleeping beauty?
305
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:02,846
Well, still sleeping.
306
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:05,382
It's been three hours now.
307
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:08,111
You Prince Charmings are all alike.
308
00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:11,655
I've always told you that one day,
your devastating charm would backfire.
309
00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:15,283
Well, there's a first time for everything.
What did you dig up at Fran�ois?
310
00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:16,724
Nothing so far.
311
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,593
I blew all the circuits
and flushed the old dears in hair curlers...
312
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:22,701
...into the street,
but I couldn't find anything.
313
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,731
Are you sure
that's where the switch took place?
314
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:28,170
If it did happen,
it couldn't have been anywhere else.
315
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:31,334
What do you mean, "If it did happen"?
You having doubts?
316
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:34,070
You heard her this afternoon.
She never fumbled an answer once.
317
00:18:34,246 --> 00:18:37,478
Well, she could have been programmed
into believing she's Miranda Bryant.
318
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:38,811
That might be.
319
00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:42,581
Tell you what, I'll have another go
at Madame X here.
320
00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:44,883
You take another crack
at the beauty salon, all right?
321
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:48,892
All right, but it will have to be
after the shop closes.
322
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,495
Hey, that's breaking and entering.
323
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,359
SOLO [OVER RADIO]:
That's what you do best.
324
00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:56,195
- What did you say?
- I said, "That's what you do best."
325
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:15,410
[AIR DUCT OPENS THEN CLOSES]
326
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:34,674
SOLO: Come on, up. Get up. Get up.
IRINA: Mm. Unh.
327
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,399
SOLO: Come on, walk.
IRINA: Unh, unh.
328
00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:40,012
Walk, come on. Walk, walk, walk.
Walk, walk, walk.
329
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,239
- Good. Get on your feet. Come on, walk.
IRINA: Unh.
330
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:45,408
Now, all right now, hold on.
I want you to drink some coffee.
331
00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:46,711
Hold on. Hold on now.
332
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,320
Oh!
333
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,617
[SOLO GROANING]
334
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:52,952
All right, now drink some of this.
335
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:55,720
- Here. Come on, drink, drink, drink.
- No, I don't want any coffee.
336
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:59,024
- Drink, drink, drink up. Drink some of this.
- I don't like coffee.
337
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,325
Drink it.
338
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:01,831
- That's good, all right.
- Ugh.
339
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:04,027
Now, walk around.
You slept too long as it is.
340
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,637
Come on now, walk.
341
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:09,003
- Don't make me drag you. Walk around.
IRINA: I don't wanna. Stop. Ha-ha-ha.
342
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:11,610
- There's nothing funny. Come on, now.
IRINA: Ha-ha-ha!
343
00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:12,972
Up. Drink some more coffee.
344
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:15,546
IRINA: I don't want any more coffee.
- Get up, get up, get up.
345
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:20,119
Here, drink some more. Good, good.
Good coffee. Warm, good. Mm, yeah.
346
00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:22,414
- Like that? Now we take another walk.
- I don't like it.
347
00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:25,285
- I don't like this. I want to sleep.
- You slept too long. Walk again.
348
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:29,122
SOLO: You walk. Good? All right.
IRINA: Okay, I walk.
349
00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:30,854
SOLO: Oh! Unh. Come on.
IRINA: Ha-ha-ha!
350
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,020
Up!
351
00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:34,064
[BOTH PANTING]
352
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:37,795
Ooh! Those lights are so bright.
Would you shut the light off, please?
353
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,563
- Light?
- Yes.
354
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,004
Unh. All right.
355
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:43,164
[IRINA GIGGLING]
356
00:20:43,342 --> 00:20:44,833
Come on, now.
357
00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:46,842
Get up. Come on, up, up.
358
00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:50,141
- I don't want to. No.
- Go in the bathroom, wash your face.
359
00:20:50,316 --> 00:20:52,751
Come on, walk. You've gotta walk.
360
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:55,285
- Come on, walk. Walk, walk.
- I have to walk. I lost my shoe.
361
00:20:55,454 --> 00:20:56,547
- Walk.
- I lost--
362
00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:15,631
[SIGHS THEN GROANS]
363
00:21:21,747 --> 00:21:22,840
[GRUNTS]
364
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:45,937
[BOTH GRUNTING]
365
00:21:59,084 --> 00:22:00,575
[MAN PUNCHING SOLO'S HAND]
366
00:22:12,698 --> 00:22:14,291
[MAN SCREAMS]
367
00:22:23,108 --> 00:22:26,101
[CAR HORNS HONKING]
368
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,329
Thank you.
369
00:22:43,796 --> 00:22:44,957
Where did you learn judo?
370
00:22:45,931 --> 00:22:47,160
What?
371
00:22:47,333 --> 00:22:49,825
That was the greatest demonstration.
372
00:22:50,002 --> 00:22:51,766
Who taught you?
373
00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:54,639
- Taught me what?
- Judo.
374
00:22:56,809 --> 00:22:58,402
Well, I....
375
00:22:59,144 --> 00:23:00,134
I saw you....
376
00:23:00,312 --> 00:23:01,746
[BOTH PANTING]
377
00:23:01,914 --> 00:23:06,045
- Well, he was after you, and I just--
- Don't apologize. You did the right thing.
378
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:09,287
- He was gonna kill you.
- Ha, ha. He was indeed.
379
00:23:09,455 --> 00:23:11,219
Why?
380
00:23:11,423 --> 00:23:14,325
I'm not sure I know the answer anymore.
381
00:23:15,461 --> 00:23:19,364
My dear, I don't know who you are
or what you are...
382
00:23:20,032 --> 00:23:23,560
...but, uh, anyone who saves my life
the way you did....
383
00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:26,296
Whatever happens, I want you to know
that I'm on your side.
384
00:23:28,941 --> 00:23:30,637
But I thought you always were.
385
00:23:42,988 --> 00:23:45,981
She'll be regaining consciousness
any moment, I think.
386
00:23:46,158 --> 00:23:49,026
- The anesthetic is wearing off nicely.
- Good.
387
00:24:16,488 --> 00:24:17,478
[ALARM BEEPING]
388
00:24:17,656 --> 00:24:19,318
Someone's upstairs.
389
00:24:27,933 --> 00:24:31,267
It's that man who was here this afternoon
when the power blew out.
390
00:24:31,437 --> 00:24:32,996
Is it, now?
391
00:24:34,239 --> 00:24:36,071
How very interesting.
392
00:24:36,241 --> 00:24:39,234
Etienne. But be gentle.
393
00:24:39,812 --> 00:24:42,145
We may have some use for him.
394
00:25:13,645 --> 00:25:14,704
[GRUNTS]
395
00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:46,777
U.N.C.L.E.'s adventures in Wonderland.
396
00:25:46,945 --> 00:25:48,004
[CAXTON GIGGLES]
397
00:25:48,580 --> 00:25:51,812
Except in this version, young man,
you are the White Rabbit.
398
00:25:52,284 --> 00:25:55,254
CAXTON: Or should I say,
"You're our new guinea pig"?
399
00:25:55,854 --> 00:25:58,449
"O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
400
00:25:58,624 --> 00:26:00,149
[CAXTON CHUCKLES]
401
00:26:00,325 --> 00:26:02,521
Just when things were getting dull too.
402
00:26:25,551 --> 00:26:28,544
[CROWD CHEERING]
403
00:26:36,962 --> 00:26:37,952
Delaware's okay...
404
00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:40,599
...but I'm having a little trouble
with the Oregon delegation.
405
00:26:40,766 --> 00:26:43,463
- What's the matter with them?
- That's the problem. I can't find them.
406
00:26:43,635 --> 00:26:45,399
They're all out having dinner
in Chinatown.
407
00:26:45,571 --> 00:26:47,130
Have some of the boys round them up.
408
00:26:47,306 --> 00:26:49,741
Enough people hanging around here
with nothing to do.
409
00:26:49,908 --> 00:26:50,967
Mr. Fairbanks...
410
00:26:51,143 --> 00:26:53,840
...do your know how many restaurants
there are in Chinatown?
411
00:26:54,012 --> 00:26:56,481
Have one of the boys count them
as they go.
412
00:26:56,949 --> 00:27:00,681
The information will come in handy
during a primary some day.
413
00:27:24,109 --> 00:27:25,839
You're very silent.
414
00:27:26,011 --> 00:27:27,411
Hmm?
415
00:27:28,614 --> 00:27:32,278
You look like the little girl who's just about
to have her knuckles rapped...
416
00:27:32,451 --> 00:27:34,886
...by the headmistress of....
417
00:27:35,587 --> 00:27:38,022
What was that academy you went to?
418
00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:40,489
- Marbury.
- Mm-hm.
419
00:27:40,659 --> 00:27:44,152
Mr. Solo,
must you always ask questions?
420
00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:47,663
Well, it's a professional liability.
421
00:27:47,833 --> 00:27:49,597
You'll get used to it.
422
00:27:49,768 --> 00:27:52,169
That's what I'm afraid of.
423
00:27:53,772 --> 00:27:55,070
What's the matter?
424
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:59,901
You, and everything that's happened.
425
00:28:01,246 --> 00:28:02,908
I don't know why.
426
00:28:03,081 --> 00:28:07,280
Saving a gentleman's life
is generally considered a meritorious action.
427
00:28:07,452 --> 00:28:12,083
If word leaks out, you may become
Brownie to an Eagle Scout overnight.
428
00:28:12,257 --> 00:28:15,989
But word mustn't leak out
about anything that's happened today.
429
00:28:16,161 --> 00:28:20,428
I love my husband, I do.
Very, very much.
430
00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:26,164
That's why I can't understand why
when I'm with you, it makes....
431
00:28:28,307 --> 00:28:29,297
[IRINA SCOFFS]
432
00:28:29,474 --> 00:28:32,410
I'm really very confused.
433
00:28:33,011 --> 00:28:36,004
Not half as confused as I am.
434
00:28:41,253 --> 00:28:44,246
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
435
00:28:47,659 --> 00:28:49,287
Mrs. Bryant, what a pleasant surprise.
436
00:28:49,461 --> 00:28:51,657
Get Mrs. Bryant a cup of coffee
and a place to sit down.
437
00:28:51,830 --> 00:28:53,389
- I've gotta see Fairbanks.
- He's inside.
438
00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:55,659
- Thank you.
- Be my pleasure, Mrs. Bryant.
439
00:28:55,834 --> 00:28:56,927
Right over here.
440
00:28:57,102 --> 00:28:59,367
Plenty more room on the bandwagon.
441
00:28:59,538 --> 00:29:01,006
Right.
442
00:29:03,442 --> 00:29:06,241
What are you doing back here?
Something happened?
443
00:29:06,411 --> 00:29:09,313
Something's happened. Among other things,
I got a call from the senator.
444
00:29:09,481 --> 00:29:10,505
- Bryant?
- Yes, Bryant.
445
00:29:10,682 --> 00:29:12,708
He's been trying to reach you
all over town.
446
00:29:12,884 --> 00:29:14,750
He wants you to meet him
at the airport tonight.
447
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:18,618
- Tonight? Ha, ha. You mean tomorrow.
- No, he's flying back tonight.
448
00:29:18,957 --> 00:29:20,755
No, he can't.
449
00:29:21,193 --> 00:29:25,392
He can't come back tonight.
He can't do this to me.
450
00:29:25,998 --> 00:29:28,331
If he were to come back here now....
451
00:29:31,203 --> 00:29:34,002
Gloria, get me Senator Bryant.
452
00:29:34,373 --> 00:29:36,399
I know he's in Washington.
453
00:29:37,743 --> 00:29:40,178
You've a fascinating head, Mr. Kuryakin.
454
00:29:40,345 --> 00:29:41,574
Truly fascinating.
455
00:29:41,747 --> 00:29:44,774
But so much more fascinating
when I've finished with it.
456
00:29:44,950 --> 00:29:46,441
You wait.
457
00:29:46,618 --> 00:29:48,280
You don't have to convince me
of your work.
458
00:29:48,453 --> 00:29:51,116
That second Mrs. Bryant
is a remarkable job.
459
00:29:51,290 --> 00:29:53,816
She manages to play the senator's wife
even when she's loaded...
460
00:29:53,992 --> 00:29:56,120
...with our most effective truth pills.
461
00:29:56,295 --> 00:29:57,820
Ah, that's the beauty of my method.
462
00:29:57,996 --> 00:30:01,865
She's not playing a part.
She really believes she is Miranda Bryant.
463
00:30:02,034 --> 00:30:06,369
Oh, won't two Miranda Bryants
be crowding the senator a bit?
464
00:30:06,538 --> 00:30:08,302
Oh, no. No, not at all.
465
00:30:08,473 --> 00:30:11,910
A simple injection of this,
uh, triexel phermate...
466
00:30:12,077 --> 00:30:14,137
...and the young girl reverts
to her own personality.
467
00:30:14,313 --> 00:30:17,977
It's all very simple, really.
468
00:30:18,383 --> 00:30:19,783
Very clever too.
469
00:30:19,951 --> 00:30:22,147
Programming the future president
of the United States...
470
00:30:22,321 --> 00:30:23,846
...might be a little awkward.
471
00:30:24,022 --> 00:30:27,356
But who'd ever suspect
that it's all done with, uh...
472
00:30:28,093 --> 00:30:29,186
...pillow talk.
473
00:30:29,895 --> 00:30:31,761
[CAXTON CHUCKLES]
474
00:30:31,930 --> 00:30:34,957
You're a very perceptive young man.
475
00:30:36,268 --> 00:30:38,396
He knows if he so much
as shows his face around here...
476
00:30:38,570 --> 00:30:42,029
...before we have the delegates
in our pockets, we could lose everything.
477
00:30:42,574 --> 00:30:44,202
Oh, no.
478
00:30:44,376 --> 00:30:47,744
No, I've worked too hard and too long
to get that boy into this position.
479
00:30:47,913 --> 00:30:49,438
What?
480
00:30:50,582 --> 00:30:52,483
Yes, I see.
481
00:30:55,387 --> 00:30:57,049
[TELEPHONE SLAMS]
482
00:31:01,860 --> 00:31:04,022
Well, he's left, all right.
483
00:31:06,565 --> 00:31:09,000
Almost in the White House...
484
00:31:11,036 --> 00:31:12,698
...and now he's, um....
485
00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:16,069
He's imperiling everything
we've worked for...
486
00:31:16,241 --> 00:31:22,010
...slaved for, lived for for 10 years,
and all because of her.
487
00:31:22,180 --> 00:31:24,809
Well, you can't blame a man
for worrying about his wife.
488
00:31:24,983 --> 00:31:26,508
That marriage.
489
00:31:28,053 --> 00:31:31,956
Here was a man who could have married
any woman in the country.
490
00:31:32,124 --> 00:31:36,789
And he picks some little ninny
that he meets by chance at my house.
491
00:31:36,962 --> 00:31:38,931
In my own house.
492
00:31:39,865 --> 00:31:42,664
Sorting campaign literature.
493
00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:46,327
Running the coffee machine
for the volunteers.
494
00:31:47,439 --> 00:31:50,341
Where's the girl?
What have you done with her?
495
00:31:50,509 --> 00:31:52,808
You were told not to take your eyes off her
for an instant.
496
00:31:52,978 --> 00:31:54,947
I haven't. She's outside
with your number-one boy.
497
00:31:55,113 --> 00:31:58,140
He'll take care of her.
That's why I'm here.
498
00:31:58,417 --> 00:32:03,788
I have run into some, uh, let's say,
contradictions about Mrs. Bryant.
499
00:32:03,955 --> 00:32:06,151
- Contradictions?
- Mm-hm.
500
00:32:07,392 --> 00:32:09,918
What do you mean, "contradictions"?
501
00:32:10,796 --> 00:32:12,924
You're not trying to tell me
that after all this...
502
00:32:13,098 --> 00:32:15,795
...you boys are starting
to reverse yourselves, are you?
503
00:32:15,967 --> 00:32:19,233
Uh, don't anticipate things, Fairbanks.
It's not that simple.
504
00:32:19,404 --> 00:32:22,169
If you've put us through all this
for nothing...
505
00:32:22,340 --> 00:32:25,936
...called back the senator,
maybe cost us the election...
506
00:32:26,111 --> 00:32:29,445
...and all the time,
this is the real Miranda Bryant.
507
00:32:29,614 --> 00:32:31,480
I didn't say that.
There are just some things...
508
00:32:31,650 --> 00:32:34,119
...that I don't understand.
They don't add up, not clear.
509
00:32:34,286 --> 00:32:36,118
I wanna put her to a test.
You gave me an idea.
510
00:32:36,288 --> 00:32:38,314
- Give me the keys to your house.
- My house?
511
00:32:38,490 --> 00:32:41,153
Yes, you said she met the senator
working there on some campaign?
512
00:32:41,326 --> 00:32:44,262
If she's the real Mrs. Bryant, she'll know
her way around the place, right?
513
00:32:44,429 --> 00:32:45,419
I suppose so.
514
00:32:45,597 --> 00:32:48,192
If she's not the real Mrs. Bryant,
she won't.
515
00:32:48,366 --> 00:32:50,164
Because though they may have
programmed her...
516
00:32:50,335 --> 00:32:52,861
...in regard to dates and places,
she won't know, for instance...
517
00:32:53,038 --> 00:32:57,100
...where the, uh, secretary keeps
the instant coffee.
518
00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:00,240
[FAIRBANKS SIGHS]
519
00:33:00,412 --> 00:33:03,075
I think you're wasting
a lot of precious time, Solo.
520
00:33:03,248 --> 00:33:05,012
But if you insist....
521
00:33:05,183 --> 00:33:06,708
I do.
522
00:33:08,220 --> 00:33:10,485
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
523
00:33:12,190 --> 00:33:13,681
Yes?
524
00:33:14,359 --> 00:33:16,919
I told you I must have 48 hours.
525
00:33:17,095 --> 00:33:19,428
But you can't move her now,
that's impossible.
526
00:33:19,598 --> 00:33:21,567
I don't know what she'll do or say.
527
00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:24,197
But I won't--
528
00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:29,501
Yes. Yes, I understand.
529
00:33:29,674 --> 00:33:32,405
All right, all right.
530
00:33:32,744 --> 00:33:34,610
Signe, Etienne,
remove him from the table.
531
00:33:34,779 --> 00:33:37,476
We've got to get the woman ready
in an hour.
532
00:33:57,736 --> 00:34:01,298
What on earth are we doing here?
Arnold's at the convention.
533
00:34:01,606 --> 00:34:02,835
So you know the place?
534
00:34:03,008 --> 00:34:07,070
Yes, I worked here as a volunteer.
That's how I met Steve.
535
00:34:07,245 --> 00:34:09,009
Yes, Fairbanks told me.
536
00:34:09,180 --> 00:34:13,242
Well, since you know the place,
you lead the way, all right?
537
00:34:15,387 --> 00:34:17,481
Fairbanks gave me the key.
538
00:34:42,981 --> 00:34:45,450
Bring back sentimental memories?
539
00:34:50,422 --> 00:34:53,119
Napoleon, please don't be unkind to me.
540
00:35:03,368 --> 00:35:05,701
Atavistic old place.
541
00:35:06,705 --> 00:35:12,167
I suppose it's a throwback to the days
of ward heelers and brass spittoons.
542
00:35:19,751 --> 00:35:21,549
Why'd you bring me here?
543
00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:23,052
[SOLO SCOFFS]
544
00:35:23,221 --> 00:35:25,281
Excellent question.
545
00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:28,889
Why, indeed?
546
00:35:29,427 --> 00:35:32,829
An impulse? An inspiration?
547
00:35:33,298 --> 00:35:35,233
A suspicion?
548
00:35:36,601 --> 00:35:38,570
Prescience?
549
00:35:38,737 --> 00:35:42,799
Or just, perhaps, to be alone with you?
550
00:35:44,709 --> 00:35:48,237
We haven't got much longer to be alone,
have we?
551
00:35:48,413 --> 00:35:49,904
No.
552
00:35:50,915 --> 00:35:52,975
Why am I here?
553
00:35:54,753 --> 00:35:57,154
Because something is happening.
554
00:35:58,790 --> 00:36:01,259
You're as aware of it as I am.
555
00:36:02,293 --> 00:36:03,818
Hmm?
556
00:36:07,832 --> 00:36:10,392
And something else is happening too.
557
00:36:10,802 --> 00:36:16,935
Kidnap threats, strange disappearances,
even stranger appearances.
558
00:36:17,108 --> 00:36:18,940
After today,
you should be aware of the fact...
559
00:36:19,110 --> 00:36:20,976
...that you're involved
in some diabolical plot.
560
00:36:21,146 --> 00:36:25,914
Either someone is trying,
among other things, to ruin your marriage.
561
00:36:26,084 --> 00:36:28,781
- Or--
- Who would do a thing like that?
562
00:36:30,155 --> 00:36:31,919
Many people.
563
00:36:32,090 --> 00:36:35,458
Political enemies, for instance.
564
00:36:35,627 --> 00:36:37,823
Political friends.
565
00:36:38,496 --> 00:36:40,260
Arnold Fairbanks, for instance.
566
00:36:40,432 --> 00:36:41,764
Arnold?
567
00:36:41,933 --> 00:36:44,528
Arnold's our best friend.
568
00:36:44,836 --> 00:36:47,362
He's your husband's best friend.
569
00:36:48,606 --> 00:36:50,700
There's a difference.
570
00:36:54,079 --> 00:36:56,344
And he's let it be known
he wasn't exactly thrilled...
571
00:36:56,514 --> 00:36:58,608
...about your marriage, you know.
572
00:36:59,984 --> 00:37:01,850
I don't believe that.
573
00:37:02,020 --> 00:37:05,115
Fairbanks is ambitious
for your husband...
574
00:37:05,290 --> 00:37:09,455
...like Caesar and Caesar's wife.
575
00:37:09,627 --> 00:37:13,826
The question is, this time,
who is above suspicion?
576
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:19,164
Where does Fairbanks
keep his confidential files?
577
00:37:19,337 --> 00:37:20,896
Well, how should I know?
578
00:37:21,072 --> 00:37:25,407
You labored here in the senator's vineyards
and won all hearts.
579
00:37:25,577 --> 00:37:26,977
We're all volunteer workers.
580
00:37:27,145 --> 00:37:29,637
We didn't have access
to anything confidential.
581
00:37:29,814 --> 00:37:32,978
You still must have some idea
where things were located.
582
00:37:33,151 --> 00:37:36,713
Even Bluebeard told his wives
where not to go.
583
00:37:37,989 --> 00:37:41,255
Mr. Solo, yours is a strange world.
584
00:37:41,426 --> 00:37:45,295
Living with all this deceit and violence
has done something to you.
585
00:37:46,264 --> 00:37:49,325
You're right.
It's taught me to trust no one.
586
00:37:49,501 --> 00:37:50,799
[DRAWER CLOSES]
587
00:37:51,436 --> 00:37:53,667
Not even myself.
588
00:37:55,173 --> 00:37:57,699
Especially with you.
589
00:38:05,016 --> 00:38:07,247
What do you know about this place?
590
00:38:07,786 --> 00:38:09,015
Try to remember something.
591
00:38:09,187 --> 00:38:11,122
I remember nothing.
592
00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:14,748
I mean, whatever I knew about this place,
I have long since forgotten.
593
00:38:14,926 --> 00:38:17,157
Don't give up so easily. Try, think hard.
594
00:38:17,328 --> 00:38:19,490
No, please, just take me out of here.
595
00:38:19,898 --> 00:38:21,059
I don't like any of this.
596
00:38:21,232 --> 00:38:24,498
I don't like that drug you gave me.
Nothing's clear anymore.
597
00:38:24,669 --> 00:38:28,436
I don't know what it's made me say
or do or feel.
598
00:38:29,107 --> 00:38:31,838
Nothing about the office?
Nothing about the files?
599
00:38:32,377 --> 00:38:34,369
No, nothing.
600
00:38:39,017 --> 00:38:40,280
I'm sorry.
601
00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:45,519
I had to do it. I had to make sure.
602
00:38:47,559 --> 00:38:49,289
For both of us.
603
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,000
You're not her.
604
00:38:59,737 --> 00:39:01,865
- Who are you?
- [WHISPERS] Napoleon.
605
00:39:03,541 --> 00:39:06,534
[ALL GRUNTING]
606
00:39:30,335 --> 00:39:31,701
Are you all right?
607
00:39:31,870 --> 00:39:33,270
Hair dye?
608
00:39:33,438 --> 00:39:36,431
Does Arnold dye his hair too?
609
00:39:55,927 --> 00:39:57,327
They got away.
610
00:39:57,495 --> 00:39:59,623
I was afraid something like this
might happen.
611
00:39:59,797 --> 00:40:00,787
Mm-hm.
612
00:40:00,965 --> 00:40:03,196
Uh, here's something of yours, Fairbanks.
613
00:40:04,869 --> 00:40:07,395
All right, drop the gun.
How convenient of you and Mrs. Bryant...
614
00:40:07,572 --> 00:40:10,633
...to patronize the same beauty salon.
615
00:40:10,808 --> 00:40:14,370
Sometimes the long arm of serendipity
outsmarts us all.
616
00:40:15,179 --> 00:40:18,479
Too bad, it was a great try.
617
00:40:18,650 --> 00:40:21,381
I wouldn't, Mr. Solo.
618
00:40:23,554 --> 00:40:27,889
If there's one thing I've learned in politics,
it's never count your ballots...
619
00:40:28,059 --> 00:40:30,153
...before the returns are in.
620
00:40:33,731 --> 00:40:35,222
[SOLO SIGHS]
621
00:40:45,977 --> 00:40:48,970
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
622
00:40:53,284 --> 00:40:56,277
[PHONE DIALING]
623
00:41:03,695 --> 00:41:05,323
Well, where is she?
624
00:41:05,496 --> 00:41:06,964
[OVER PHONE]
What are you doing to me?
625
00:41:07,131 --> 00:41:08,531
CAXTON:
We're doing all we can.
626
00:41:08,700 --> 00:41:11,192
She's not completely out of it yet.
627
00:41:11,769 --> 00:41:14,534
I don't care what kind of shape she's in.
628
00:41:14,706 --> 00:41:17,699
Just get her over here right now.
629
00:41:17,875 --> 00:41:18,968
[TELEPHONE SLAMS OVER PHONE]
630
00:41:23,281 --> 00:41:26,809
What's the matter, doctor?
You look worried.
631
00:41:26,985 --> 00:41:28,681
That's how it is.
632
00:41:28,853 --> 00:41:32,449
The ignorant Philistine always gets
in the way of the true artist.
633
00:41:33,324 --> 00:41:35,088
Arnold?
634
00:41:37,128 --> 00:41:39,563
Where is she? Why isn't she here?
635
00:41:39,731 --> 00:41:41,927
Steve, she's on her way here
right now, relax.
636
00:41:42,100 --> 00:41:45,468
Arnold, if you don't bring her here,
so help me, I'll kill you.
637
00:41:45,636 --> 00:41:46,626
Now take it easy.
638
00:41:46,804 --> 00:41:49,137
I've never let you down before
not gonna let you down now.
639
00:41:49,307 --> 00:41:53,711
Believe me, she's as anxious to see you
as you are to see her.
640
00:41:57,148 --> 00:42:01,347
Tell me, how is he? The president?
641
00:42:01,519 --> 00:42:02,851
Worried, and so am I.
642
00:42:03,021 --> 00:42:05,286
You said she'd be here, Arnold,
and she isn't here.
643
00:42:05,456 --> 00:42:07,550
She'll be here before you know it.
644
00:42:07,725 --> 00:42:11,492
Now the only thing you've got to worry
about is your acceptance speech, right?
645
00:42:11,662 --> 00:42:13,255
Well, I got two days
to worry about that.
646
00:42:14,499 --> 00:42:19,199
As a matter of fact, Steve,
you've kind of forced my hand on that.
647
00:42:19,370 --> 00:42:22,431
- Hmm?
- It's tonight or never.
648
00:42:22,607 --> 00:42:24,371
Now, you gotta get your thinking cap on.
649
00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:27,410
You know what this thing is crying for?
The old Bryant touch.
650
00:42:27,578 --> 00:42:30,912
Now that's something nobody's got
but you, right, Steve?
651
00:42:31,716 --> 00:42:34,515
SIGNE: Now stop that,
and don't give me any more trouble.
652
00:42:34,685 --> 00:42:37,086
IRINA: Let me go.
SIGNE: Stop it.
653
00:42:37,255 --> 00:42:39,156
Let me go. Aah!
654
00:42:39,323 --> 00:42:40,313
[SIGNE SLAPS WOMAN]
655
00:42:40,491 --> 00:42:42,357
Come along, Mrs. Bryant, sit up.
656
00:42:42,527 --> 00:42:45,588
- Wake up.
- Doctor, I can't handle this woman.
657
00:42:45,763 --> 00:42:48,756
Couldn't I get rid of her?
Get rid of them all?
658
00:42:48,933 --> 00:42:50,526
Later. I'll stay behind...
659
00:42:50,701 --> 00:42:53,261
...and see that they're disposed of
along with the building.
660
00:42:53,438 --> 00:42:54,701
But I need them alive for that.
661
00:42:54,872 --> 00:42:57,137
Hurry up with that dress
and get her over to Fairbanks.
662
00:42:57,642 --> 00:43:01,010
Doctor, merely as a point
of information, uh...
663
00:43:01,179 --> 00:43:04,343
...how do you intend to dispose of us
when the happy hour approaches?
664
00:43:04,515 --> 00:43:06,006
It was your friend's idea.
665
00:43:07,051 --> 00:43:08,417
- Mine?
CAXTON: Yes.
666
00:43:08,586 --> 00:43:11,818
This morning, when you invaded us
disguised as an electrician...
667
00:43:11,989 --> 00:43:15,391
...you stated that the entire place
was riddled with defective wiring.
668
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,051
We might all be electrocuted.
669
00:43:17,228 --> 00:43:19,288
Well, you will be.
670
00:43:21,165 --> 00:43:23,532
You could've come in as a plumber.
671
00:43:29,674 --> 00:43:31,802
Who is that woman?
Why'd you give her my dress?
672
00:43:31,976 --> 00:43:33,638
Shut her up and bring them upstairs.
673
00:43:33,811 --> 00:43:36,474
- Do you have to kill her too?
CAXTON: Unfortunately, yes.
674
00:43:36,647 --> 00:43:40,982
You see, Etienne, Miss Signe, myself
must all seem to perish in the cataclysm...
675
00:43:41,152 --> 00:43:43,246
...about to engulf our little edifice.
676
00:43:43,421 --> 00:43:46,880
And for that, I need three bodies:
two males, one female.
677
00:43:47,358 --> 00:43:49,657
And the young woman
already here to oblige us.
678
00:43:50,294 --> 00:43:52,889
Believe me, it's purely
a matter of necessity...
679
00:43:53,064 --> 00:43:54,760
...not of any lust for blood.
680
00:43:54,932 --> 00:43:56,400
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
681
00:43:57,335 --> 00:43:58,860
Yes?
682
00:43:59,036 --> 00:44:00,902
Yes, Arnold, everything's in order.
683
00:44:01,439 --> 00:44:03,874
Mrs. Bryant is leaving right now.
684
00:44:04,041 --> 00:44:06,636
Splendid. I'll see you next week.
685
00:44:06,811 --> 00:44:08,404
[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]
686
00:44:11,449 --> 00:44:13,247
Bring them along.
687
00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:16,412
Ladies first.
688
00:44:21,259 --> 00:44:23,091
[ALL GRUNTING]
689
00:44:25,796 --> 00:44:28,288
She's a judo expert.
690
00:44:30,735 --> 00:44:33,136
At least a black belt--
691
00:44:38,309 --> 00:44:39,368
--with clusters.
692
00:44:40,244 --> 00:44:42,406
[CROWD CHEERING]
693
00:44:54,258 --> 00:44:56,784
Come on, all you've gotta do is go out there
and it's in the bag.
694
00:44:56,961 --> 00:44:59,897
I told you, Arnold, I'm not going out there
without seeing my wife.
695
00:45:00,064 --> 00:45:01,157
MAN:
There she is.
696
00:45:04,902 --> 00:45:06,928
Are you satisfied now?
697
00:45:08,973 --> 00:45:10,305
Take him up.
698
00:45:28,059 --> 00:45:29,049
[MOUTHS]
Thank you.
699
00:45:37,401 --> 00:45:40,929
Miranda, listen to me carefully.
700
00:45:41,105 --> 00:45:43,267
Do you hear those cheers?
701
00:45:50,815 --> 00:45:56,345
They're for the future president
of the United States, your husband.
702
00:45:56,687 --> 00:46:00,715
I want you to go out there
and give him a big kiss.
703
00:46:00,891 --> 00:46:03,918
Remember,
this is his moment of triumph.
704
00:46:04,095 --> 00:46:07,964
Wave, smile to the crowd.
Do you understand?
705
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:11,726
- Don't worry, Arnold, I know what to do.
- That's the girl.
706
00:46:11,902 --> 00:46:13,666
Don't enjoy it too much, Fairbanks.
707
00:46:15,139 --> 00:46:17,199
Do you see those men?
708
00:46:17,575 --> 00:46:18,907
They want to kill your husband.
709
00:46:21,212 --> 00:46:22,510
- Shoot them.
- Hmm?
710
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:23,670
Shoot them!
711
00:46:23,848 --> 00:46:25,146
[GUNSHOT]
712
00:46:30,788 --> 00:46:33,189
They're waiting for you, Mrs. Bryant.
713
00:46:40,197 --> 00:46:41,563
[MOUTHS]
Thank you.
714
00:46:53,210 --> 00:46:54,803
Miranda was....
715
00:46:54,979 --> 00:46:57,244
Was programmed to....
716
00:46:57,415 --> 00:47:01,079
To obey all my commands.
717
00:47:01,252 --> 00:47:03,084
"Was," Arnold.
718
00:47:03,587 --> 00:47:06,113
We deprogrammed her.
719
00:47:06,424 --> 00:47:08,893
Triexel phermate.
720
00:47:10,895 --> 00:47:12,864
Miranda, is it really you?
721
00:47:13,030 --> 00:47:16,023
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
722
00:47:18,836 --> 00:47:20,668
It is you.
723
00:47:51,702 --> 00:47:54,501
IRINA:
So you cats finally made it.
724
00:47:55,439 --> 00:47:56,429
Ah. Huh.
725
00:47:59,210 --> 00:48:00,735
Like, I'm grateful.
726
00:48:00,911 --> 00:48:05,178
I mean, all those years teaching judo
to those chicks in the Big Sur.
727
00:48:05,349 --> 00:48:07,045
I finally made the big scene.
728
00:48:07,218 --> 00:48:08,413
I owe it all to you.
729
00:48:09,387 --> 00:48:11,413
- Uh, us?
IRINA: Yeah.
730
00:48:11,589 --> 00:48:13,148
I thought we were in your debt?
731
00:48:13,324 --> 00:48:14,656
Oh, no, man, you don't understand.
732
00:48:14,825 --> 00:48:17,158
It's because of you
that I got the bread for this.
733
00:48:17,328 --> 00:48:20,992
Your report of the young lady's help
the other night so intrigued me...
734
00:48:21,599 --> 00:48:24,125
...I felt we owed her a reciprocal favor.
735
00:48:24,301 --> 00:48:25,291
[IRINA CHUCKLES]
736
00:48:25,469 --> 00:48:29,133
This cool cat sort of bought
a couple of lifetime memberships...
737
00:48:29,306 --> 00:48:31,673
...and with the bread,
I built me this castle.
738
00:48:32,343 --> 00:48:35,905
Well, it's a most impressive, uh, bakery.
739
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:37,946
Lifetime memberships for you, sir?
740
00:48:38,115 --> 00:48:39,583
Oh, goodness no. No, no.
741
00:48:39,750 --> 00:48:41,013
For you two, naturally.
742
00:48:42,186 --> 00:48:44,052
Oh, well, thank you, uh....
743
00:48:44,221 --> 00:48:46,087
Not at all, not at all.
744
00:48:46,257 --> 00:48:48,351
My pleasure, gentlemen.
745
00:48:48,859 --> 00:48:49,849
[SPEAKING IN JAPANESE]
746
00:49:59,296 --> 00:50:01,288
[ENGLISH SDH]
57018
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