All language subtitles for Alien.Vs.Zombies.2017.eng.NON-HI

I'm okay.

I'm okay.

Yes, yes.

Woo!

Yes.

Log 0000100, landing was a success.

Initial impression of the land,
beautiful.

Well, if not beautiful, then practical.

Still awaiting an earthly
encounter, maybe Bon Jovi,

Danny DeVito, or a New Jersey housewife,

or the other extraterrestrial, Snooki.

Standby for further updates.

The map says I'm here, but...

I feel like there's some
false advertising

on the account of this postcard.

Nope.

Hello, earth lady.

And I'm bored.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Maybe dad was right,

"It won't be what you expected, son,
I assure you of that."

Hello, earthling, are you ill,
can I help you?

Hello, earthling, my name is Ijo Sudin

from the planet Sedna

which is the furthest from
your sun in the solar system.

I have traveled many light years

to follow my passion for your planet

and it brings me great pleasure to...

Are you hungry?

I haven't read anything
about this being a cure,

but if this helps your illness,

you're welcome to my hand

as long as I can ask you
some questions afterwards.

Oh, man!

This is some serious strange behavior.

This is unlike anything I ever
heard about your species.

Can you speak, do you have a name?

What the hell is going on?

Earthling, are you mentally insane?

You're trying to eat me.

Oh god.

Get up.

What the heck are you?

My name is Ijo Sudin
from the planet Sedna

which is the furthest from
your sun in the solar system.

I've traveled many light years

to follow my passion for your planet

and it brings me great pleasure to...

Wait, wait, stop.

My planet?

Yes, your planet.

Impossible.

Possible.

Are you going to eat my hand as well?

You've spoken to me unlike
those other deranged specimen.

I suppose I could allow you my hand.

No, thanks, maybe later.

I'll save it for you then.

So, you're like an alien or something?

Alien is a derogatory way of saying it.

Imagine someone from your
south being called a redneck

or one of your African-Americans
being called a...

Okay, I get it, sorry,
then what are you?

I am an extraterrestrial life form,

a very confused
extraterrestrial life form.

Me too.

You're an extraterrestrial
life form, too?

No, confused.

Why?

I never met an extraterrestrial before.

Can you die?

Yes.

Do you have a spaceship?

Yes.

Where?

I don't see it.

It's invisible.

Why do you look human?

Why do you look Sednian?

Fair enough.

You have great hair.

I know, but are you still sick
like the last earthling?

I'm not sick and neither
was that guy, he's dead.

Dead, impossible.

Possible.

My books say differently,

that the dead don't come back to life

and they don't eat each other.

My books say you should
be a little green man

with a giant head and bug eyes.

You are a very offensive,
little earthling.

We've been looking for her.

Who?

Fantastic, another earthling
and it's a female.

Maybe one a little less
sick than the others.

Wait, you shouldn't go towards here.

Nonsense.

I wish to interact with as
many earthlings as I can

especially the females.

She's not the type of
girl you wanna play with.

See, she is much more welcoming

than you and the other gentleman,

this one is offering a hug.

Hello, earthling, my name is Ijo Sudin

from the planet Sedna

which is the furthest from
your sun in the solar system.

I've traveled many light years to...

Owiplock was right,
earth girls are easy.

You think she's ready for intercourse?

Ew, no, get away from her,
it's another dead one.

Get her off, get her off.

Why do you keep doing that
to these earthlings, earthling?

I don't want to, you keep making me.

I told you they're dead and
stop calling me earthling,

it's Parker.

Parker?

Parker.

Ijo Sudin.

I'll never get that, Joe.

Joe.

Dead.

Dead.

No longer alive?

Right.

♪ This little light of mine ♪

♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪

♪ This little light of mine ♪

♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪

♪ Let it shine ♪

♪ Let it shine ♪

♪ Let it shine ♪

Bye, Jess.

Do you know her?

Yeah, but not anymore.

Did I land in heaven?

Furthest thing from it.

What happened here?

The apocalypse, the end of the world.

How can that be?

What about all the shops and the stores?

And the movies, the music,
all that great music,

Horton Heat and Social D,

and food, do they still
make Oatmeal Creme Pies?

No, no, don't tell me,
I don't wanna know.

And coffee.

I wanted real earth coffee

and to taste a street vendor hot dog,

greasy and delicious,

but all I'm surrounded by

is you and the dead.

Oh, no.

Are these your loved ones?

Parker, wait, please, stop.

Why are you here?

It's my spring break

and father said it was finally time

for me to experience
the earthlings firsthand.

I've always been so
fascinated with your species,

but what's the point if you're all dead?

If this is, what was that word again?

The apocalypse.

Yes, the apocalypse.

Why am I here?

I don't know why you're here.

Life is like a comic book now,
I miss the Flash.

Who's the Flash?

He's a superhero with super speed,

so he can run really fast,

like he can break the laws of physics.

Is he here?

No, he's make-believe.

You don't know what comic books are?

I'm afraid not.

They're books made up from imagination,

like how the dead come back to life.

At one time, that was make-believe,
but now it's real,

and you, you're supposed
to be make-believe, too.

I'm sorry I'm not make-believe
or the Flash.

I don't mean to offend,

are there any other earthlings
like you left?

There is some, not many,

at least I don't think there are.

A young female earthling.

I apologize about what I said before,

I am sure you are not easy.

Gee, thanks.

Look, it sounds like you came here
to learn more about us,

not attack us like in
Independence Day or something.

You thought we were going to attack?

Yeah, I used to play
in the yard for hours

pretending to kill aliens.

Oh, right, bad word, anyway,
maybe that's why I'm alive.

I guess you should've
come here a year ago

when things were still normal.

How did this happen?

I don't know, something
about a new chemical virus.

When people started dying
and coming back to life,

it kinda stopped mattering
what caused it.

Well, where did it come from?

I don't know.

What was the chemical virus?

Well, how do I find out?

I don't freaking know.

Sorry, sorry.

All I know is that I have to survive,

that's what my dad told me.

Go home, Joe, I'm sure
it's a much better place.

All right then, what's your name?

Thanks.

It's okay, Dad, I'll get you some water.

Mom, do you want some?

Look, they're airing it.

We are now getting confirmation
from the CDC

that the outbreaks of violence
in New York City

are connected to the
mysterious blue smoke

we've been telling you about

since it was first spotted
earlier today.

There are multiple reports
of people caught

within the blue smoke,
losing all cognitive ability,

effectively dying instantly,

and then apparently
regaining consciousness

and attacking those around them.

Officials believe the smoke is carrying

some sort of virus and
everyone is urged to...

Is that what you saw, dad?

Can't tell, we were
blocks away from there.

But you and mom aren't gonna die, right?

Listen, you two, listen, listen.

Listen, stay back, stay back,

this is gonna get worse.

I need you guys to survive, okay?

Just take care of each other,
do it for us, okay?

You'll survive, okay?

I'm so sorry.

Parker, I just saw you, your...

Parker?

Parker?

Where'd you go?

Hello?

Parker, Parker!

What is the CDC?

I have no idea.

What's something that
attracts the zombies?

Loud noises.

Are you crazy?

Oh, perfect, if only I could
just get up there.

Great, now he got in.

Oh, okay.

Take this, if you get into trouble,
just push the button.

Are you gonna tell me what you're doing

or just let Mr. Hungry
eat your good hand?

What's today's date?

October 31, 2014, why?

I think I figured out a way to fix this,

I realize that now.

Whoa.

I figured out a way to fix this.

Oh, boy.

Mister.

Mister.

You okay?

I think so.

Joe?

One second, I'll be right back.

Yes, Parker, what is it,
are you in danger?

No, but where did you go?

Mister, can I have my hand back?

Hang on, I'll ask.

What's today's date?

December 8th.

Can I have my hand back?

What year is it?

You sure you okay?

Yes, I am.

What's the year.

2013

It worked.

I am in the year 2013.

No way.

Way.

What the fuck are you doing?

Excuse me, I'm talking to
a 12 year old in my mind.

She's in the future,
approximately a year from now.

We're trying to stop
the end of the world.

You've served your purpose,
earthling, thank you.

I hope you don't die.

I'm back, Parker.

How did you travel through time?

Has your species discovered

that time operates on
zero rap principle?

Who said what?

Let's just say it was magic then.

Fine, but what are you gonna do?

I'm gonna find the CDC

and stop your apocalypse
before it even happens.

You scared the shit out of me, Sammy.

Mouth, I was worried about you.

I can take care of myself.

All right, well, we're still family,

what if I need taken care of?

I guess I'll have to be there
to protect you then.

What's that?

A friend gave it to me.

Who?

Promise you'll believe me.

Promise.

Promise.

He's an alien and he's going to save us.

Okay, we need to get to the...

He's real.

Parker, what's real is
that Patrick is pissed

you've been out here for so long, okay?

I'm not even supposed to be
out here, we need to go.

He's a jerk, don't you wanna be saved?

Of course I do.

Right now, that jerk is our only hope.

Not for long, you'll see.

♪ Hit me like a wrecking ball ♪

Take the next one, Peaches.

Hey, hey, down here.

Hello.

How are you today?

Aye, aye, aye, watch it, watch it.

What?

Peaches said you acting kinda funny.

Thank you, Peaches.

Your shirt is very curious,
you must be intelligent.

Yeah, yeah, Peaches says
that what the sign says.

Yes, where I'm from,

the last great chancellor
of the Delta Bavonus Council

which disbanded in 1238944

passed, ordained, and made law

that yellow is the color of genius.

He was very strange,
always passing silly little laws.

Well, me and Peaches,
we just like yellow,

we kinda partial to it.

It was a birthday present,
Peaches bought it for me,

ain't that right, Peaches?

Yes, the day marked to
commemorate and celebrate

the beginning of something,
in this case, your birthday.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, birthday.

Do you happen to know where I can find

the summation of this
planets wealth of knowledge?

A collection of a database
of information?

What?

Does he mean library?

Peaches wanna know
if you mean a library.

Yes.

Yes, exactly, a library,

a place set apart which contains
manuscripts and documents

and other things for reading and viewing

and listening and research, exactly.

Do you know where I
might find such a place?

Peaches, do you know where a library is?

Nah.

Peaches said it's right over there.

See, that's why we don't
smoke crack, Peaches.

That's what happens,
that's a crack baby.

Excuse me, sir.

Never interrupt a man

while he's drinking his morning coffee.

Oh, coffee, can I have a taste?

None left.

How can I help you?

I was hoping you could point me

in the direction of some resources,

so I can discern what the CDC is.

The Center for Disease Control.

Are you sick?

No, I have no illnesses
from this planet,

but I was hoping for a bit more.

Why the interest?

Well, I heard this place was a trove

of all the most important
information on the planet

and well, I wanna learn.

Yes, yes.

Right this way for learning.

To the books.

Let's see.

Booker.

Buchanan.

Butch.

Seven Ways to Die,

the History of the World's
Seven Worst Diseases,

nope, but close.

Let me see, yeah.

Here we are, Burr's Guide
to Contagious Diseases.

Surely, those computers
must be a more expedient way

to access information.

No computers, no internet,
you said you wanted to learn.

The youth of this country
think they know

everything about everything
because of Wikipedia,

it's so wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

Who did that?

Who shushed me in my own library?

Anyway, you asked for my help,

that means we do it my way.

Any hooligan with a laptop
can create a website

and claim his own particular
nonsense as truth,

the internet is deceiving,
it should be illegal.

I'll have none of that, no, thank you.

I want work that was scrutinized.

I want references and editors
and industry acknowledgment,

not some idiot with a keyboard

spouting whatever particular tomfoolery

he happens to believe.

Okay.

Your way then.

Whoa.

All that learning, you must've
worked up quite an appetite.

Is that what that is?

I guess I did then.

Nothing.

Darn.

How can zombies even be real?

This species haven't even
accomplished xenomorphing

to regrow limbs yet.

And there are no known diseases

even remotely close to
reanimating the dead,

no parasites, no bacteria,
no viruses, nothing.

Zombies?

Did you just say zombies?

Yes.

How did you learn to read like that?

That is incredible.

I've seen NASCAR drivers take
turns slower than you read.

Does not everyone read
at 68 pages a minute?

Ha, we're lucky if 68 people
can read anymore.

People read about fiction
all the time now,

like your zombies, that's
make-believe, my friend,

pure fiction, you should've
said that when you walked in,

I would've directed you
to the kiddie section

where you can read all about ghosts,

goblins, and bears, oh my.

Well, actually, today is...

Oh, I'll tell you what today is,

today is the day you learn
about the real world,

you wanna know what's real?

Okay.

Aliens.

Little green men.

Now, there's something
you can learn about,

I can get you tons of books about...

Well, wait, now, I don't
need those books.

Why not?

Well, because...

You're an older gentleman
who's already read about them,

I bet you read all about Roswell,
Area 51, and more,

right, am I right?

I do know a great deal about aliens,

but let's just say zombies are real,

how can I read about that?

Persistent about those zombies.

Nothing from this planet

can make the dead come back to life.

Unless...

What?

Unless it was them.

Oh, there's no way you're still...

Are you okay, buddy?

What the?

Who are you?

I demand to know who you are
and what I am doing here.

I demand to know who you are.

Oh, that stinks.

Oh, that burns.

Parker?

Where is that earthling?

Joe, if you're back,

I'm in the room with the big door
at the end of the tunnel.

Find me.

Ew.

Come on.

Just eat it.

Two of you should move
to the second floor.

She's just a kid, okay?

She's a brat and she needs
to learn a lesson.

I'll talk to her.

Parker!

Don't move.

Who are you?

Who are you?

I'm the one with the gun.

Can I put my hands down,
Mr. The One with the Gun?

Okay, then.

Hello.

Earth...

I stumbled upon this place
looking for earthlings,

people, I'm looking for people.

You need to keep looking.

No.

He's my friend, he wants to help.

Sammy, control her before I have to.

Control yourself, baldy.

He's my friend and he wants to help.

Give her a break, Patrick.

We haven't seen anyone in so long.

Maybe he could tell us
about the outside world.

There's nothing out there.

If you're so curious, take
your friend and leave.

This group has all the members
it needs to survive.

You won't jeopardize us any further.

I didn't mean to bring any harm
to you or your group.

I wanna help this world
and I think I can.

Why do you keep talking like that?

You led 'em right to us.

Stay here.

What the hell did you do?

Why aren't you scared?

Should I be?

Both of you leave.

No, it wasn't their fault, I'll leave.

Wait, Joe, wait, did you find anything?

I learned about the CDC,

but nothing that would lead to this.

I need to go back.

Who the hell are you?

Parker, is this one of the females
that I can play with?

What, no, she's my sister.

Okay, you're not playing
with anybody, okay?

Least of all me, now tell me
who you are.

I'm Ijo Sudin from the planet Sedna

which is the furthest from
your sun in the solar system.

I came here to follow my passion

for the planet that I so dearly loved.

Never in a million years

did I think I would find it like this.

This is not the world that
I fell in love with as a child.

Father let me follow my passion
and come here,

now I know,

this planet is nearly lost.

Okay, crazy, sorry to have
bothered you, let's go.

Show her, Joe, disappear,
prove it to her.

Please give him a chance to prove it.

Fine, prove it.

Show her the time travel trick.

What the fuck?

Mouth.

First, zombies, and then aliens.

Mouth.

I didn't curse.

Alien is a bad word.

Time travel is very real.

On my planet, it's a technique

learned from experience and time.

I'd only started learning it
before I left

and it was never meant
to be used on the dead,

a living host gives me
much more direction,

but can be very risky.

Using a zombie is like
driving a car backwards

while on fire over a cliff,

I can get the time down,
but not the location.

Okay, then why not use a living host?

Sammy, you are very beautiful,

but did you just hear what I said?

Whatever.

Can all your people do this?

No.

See, he's special, I wanna help.

I can't let you do that.

If I use a living person,
they may not make it back.

Is this how you can die?

Take good care of her.

Will do.

Okay, let him go.

But he can die.

Told ya.

Oh, that hurt.

Are you okay?

What the hell happened?

Oh, no, bad idea to use a zombie.

I think that's rule seven or something,

but it wasn't even in the damn class,
it should've been.

It must rapidly increase decomposition.

I'm fine, I'm fine, thank you.

It be so much better to use the living,

it's too risky, I didn't even
pass the damn class.

I can hear dad now, "Ijo Sudin,
if you take your head

out of those damn earth tour
books, you'd pass your exam."

"Can someone just tell me
what the hell is going on?"

We told you, Joe's
a time traveling alien

from the planet Sedna
here to visit earth

on his spring break.

You got some fight in ya,
here we go, cowabunga.

Okay, that was cool.

Throw them both in with the rest.

You gotta push the button,
then you talk into it,

what is this, your first day on the job?

But what do I say?

Well, you gotta try and figure out

what the hell is going on over there.

I'm too late.

You think?

It's like the whole city's
turned upside down.

It's the apocalypse.

Oh, stop with that.

You're reading way too
many comic books, kid.

I gotta start reading those.

Well, what's today's date and the time?

What's that got to do with it?

The date and the time, please.

All right, take it easy.

It's December 9th, two o'clock.

I was just here a few hours ago,
everything was fine.

No kidding, it looks like
the shit hit the fan.

What about my friends,

the librarian and the homeless man
and Peaches?

Peaches, no, it looks like
they're not gonna make it, pal.

No, no, that can't be,
I won't let that happen.

All right, look, I know
you're on the job and all,

but it's pretty hairy over there.

There's no sense you going
over there and getting killed.

There's nothing you can do about it.

Like you said that could be
the apocalypse right now.

For me, the apocalypse
was a few minutes ago.

Right now, I have to stop it.

How are you gonna do that?

I'm gonna...

Well, I'm gonna...

Rookies.

Son of a bitch.

He's a goddamn time traveler.

Patrick, what are you doing?

How do you know my name?

That gun is not of earth.

Not of, how do you know that?

It's military grade.

I asked you how you knew that.

But our military are
the people of Sedna.

If you know that,

then you know what'll happen
if I pull this trigger.

This planet has been
marked for annexation.

It's off limits to all Sednians.

What are you doing here?

What are you talking about, annexation?

I just came here on my spring break.

Spring break.

By the moons of Gallifon,
you're a student.

How did you get here?

My father works for
the transport authority.

I took a transgalactic transit pod.

A transit pod.

Jackpot.

My ticket home.

Are you really Sednian?

Of course I am,
I'm an agent of the empire.

Need proof?

I can see who you are under there.

You're a special breed
of Sednian, aren't you?

Your vessel may be a cop, but you...

You're a bit more.

Who are you?

My name is Colonel Patrick Sudin.

Yes.

I can see by your reaction

that no further introduction is needed.

You dropped that device

and those children.

The children, they mean nothing.

The resources of this planet

have been claimed by the empire.

My orders are to eliminate
all the opposition.

My study of the human race indicates

that they would forcefully resist us,

that means that they have to go.

Of course they would resist you,
this has to stop,

it can't be the only way.

This is the way of the empire,
boy, the way of our people,

you should be honored to witness this.

You will be here when
the armada arrives.

What an honor that will be,
to bear witness.

You are a disgrace to your people,
the empire needs to grow.

I will find a way to stop you.

You're too late, the device
you witnessed was the ninth,

I dropped the first over an hour ago.

You're a monster.

Even your earthlings agree,
change is coming

and it belongs to the Sednian empire.

I see you haven't
mastered your time travel.

What a pity.

2:30, an hour before.

Your vessel is dying,
I'll see you around.

You're not gonna help pack?

No.

Why not?

Because we shouldn't leave here.

You saw what happened, it's not safe.

We're leaving.

What about Joe?

I don't think we'll be seeing him again.

Joe!

It was you.

I was wondering when you
would show up again, officer.

Everything that has happened,
all because of you.

Because of us.

That is not true.

What's going on, Joe?

It was never the CDC and
the CDC was trying to control it.

It was him.

It was done for the empire,
for our people,

for you, you ungrateful little shit.

So, you're one of them?

Sadly, yes, he claims that our people

want this planet's resources.

And it's time for the arrival
of the armada.

They wait word from me that
the planet is prepared,

my ship was damaged when I landed

and I've been stuck here
ever since until now.

You have given me a way
to complete my mission.

So, you weren't here to save us?

I'm trying to save you.

You've failed.

You're wrong.

It's time for me to return.

Take solace in the knowledge

that your planet will
extend the life of ours.

But why'd you tell us to pack?

You will be studied and examined.

Experimented on.

That's the only reason I kept you alive.

We're not going anywhere with you.

She's a feisty one.

You can learn a thing Ijo Sudin.

That's not gonna do much.

Tickled.

I guess we're done here.

Come on, Joe.

I'm going to find a way.

Stop lying to the girl,

now let's go before I have
to kill one of your girlfriends.

I'm sorry.

I tried.

Oh, stop pouting.

I can't believe such an immature Sednian

could learn time travel.

It's time to go home.

My mission is complete.

All you did was create
a society of the dead.

These earthlings are
persistent even in death.

Not that it matters,

but I was ordered to exterminate them.

What if we get infected?

You have no idea what
this virus could do.

We both know there is only one
weapon hat can destroy us.

That might not be true.

When I used the dead as
a time travel device,

it almost killed me.

This is like nothing our planet
has ever seen.

What if our people get
infected, then what?

We are Sednian, our people
have mastered time and space.

We will find a way.

Open it.

Open it.

I'm not leaving.

Open it.

I can't let you harm these earthlings.

It's the way of our people.

The resources of this planet
are necessary for the empire.

You can't stop the empire,
change is coming.

The bum.

The library.

What are you doing?

I gotta help him.

No, Parker.

No!

Parker!

Fire a shot.

- She's gonna die, Joe.
- I need a zombie.

No, Parker.

Joe, use me.

I can't, you know I can't do that.

It's the only way.

It's the only way.

Parker.

You're the strongest person
I know, okay?

You find somewhere to
hide and you stay there,

you stay there until Joe gets back.

I love you.

I love you, too.

It's time.

It's time.

You know what to do
if you get in trouble.

I'll be fine.

Save our species.

She's gonna die, Joe.

She's gonna die, Joe.

Nothing like a mid-afternoon
nap, huh, babe?

I can think of something better.

Oh, yeah.

Holy cow!

Oh, boy.

Hey, you okay?

Yeah, honeycakes.

Where are we?

You're in my apartment,
you sure you're okay?

Yeah, good, love bug.

Where is your apartment?

In Hoboken.

Shit.

Jersey.

And today is December 9th?

Yeah.

Perfect.

Sure you're okay?

With an hour to save the world.

Now, I wish I was the Flash.

The Flash, what the hell
are you talking about?

What's going on with you?

Those are my...

See you later, love bug.

Hey, come back to bed.

Parker, Parker, are you there?

I'm here, something's
happening, I'm scared.

I know, Parker, I'm sorry.

I need you to do something
for me, though.

I need you to be strong and
remember, can you do that?

Yeah.

Good.

Now, do you remember
how to get to the library?

I'm on...

105th and 5th Avenue.

I'm not much of a library girl,

Sammy was always
the one who liked to read.

Did you ever go to the library with her?

Once.

Do you remember the cross street?

Think really hard.

I can't remember.

Do you know where the library is?

Come on.

Get your hands off me.

Does anyone know where the library is?

It's okay, we're gonna do this.

Tell me what you do remember.

Tell me about that day.

Do you remember anything
special about the day?

It was Sammy birthday.

That's a great start,

keep talking, anything you remember.

And we had pancakes for breakfast.

We made whipped cream faces on them

and then we got dressed and walked.

We walked past the big park

with the statue of an old dead guy

and there was a green building

and there was a yellow bakery.

We had already had breakfast,

but we got hot chocolate
and muffins anyway.

And there was a woman dog walker
with two Great Danes.

And then I can't remember.

Just keep remembering, Parker.

What was the weather like?

So cold you could see your breath.

Cloudy, but the sun was coming out.

I remember looking down the street

with a firehouse down the corner

and almost being blinded
by a silver building.

It was so bright you
could barely look at it.

I see it.

I see the red building
and the tall building,

where did you go next?

We kept going straight for a little bit

and we walked along 5th Avenue
along the wall,

then Sammy knew
a shortcut and we turned.

We turned at the blue mailbox.

Which way did you turn?

Right, no left.

Which way?

I can't remember.

I need you to stop crying,

tell me what you remember next.

I remember walking up to the counter

and there was this cooky
librarian with brown hair.

Do you know stupid Nicki Minaj
was calling me,

I said, "Stop calling me,
you know I like Beyonce."

♪ Show that you love... ♪

I'm so sorry, I can't
remember anything else.

Beyonce don't call him...

I'm so happy I could kiss you.

Hi.

Well, please do.

Have you seen a bald man in the area

in the last few minutes?

Yeah, he's in the library.

Oh, thank you.

Did you see that, Peaches?

She kissed me on my mouth.

I ain't been kissed
on my mouth since you.

Hello, earthlings, my name is Ijo Sudin

and I'm here to save you.

What is the meaning of this?

Dismissed!

Security!

Security!

Hey, this way.

I'm not the one.

I didn't do it.

It's him, it's Patrick.

He's got the bomb.

Patrick.

That's how we do it in New York.

I stopped him, girl.

Thank you, my friend.

Yeah.

Change is coming.

Something's happening here.

What the fuck are you doing?

♪ This little light of mine ♪

Change is coming.

What's this?

Take that to the police.

What about him?

Him, too.

Thank you, my friends,
I'll never forget you.

What the hell just happened?

Crazy ass white people.

Cindy, I did it, I saved us,
Cindy, too late, hold on.

Excuse me.

Can I help you?

It's you.

Yes, you can.

How about we try that hug again?

Okay.

I am so happy to see you.

Do I know you?

No, today is December 9, 2014?

Yes.

Fantastic.

♪ This little light of mine ♪

♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪

Wait, where are you going?

Don't worry, I'll be back
to play with you.

♪ This little light of mine ♪

♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪

♪ This little light of mine ♪

♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪

♪ Let it shine ♪

♪ Let it shine ♪

♪ Let it shine ♪

Get up.

Are you okay?

I'm fantastic, I did it,
I saved all of you.

You know this guy, Parker?

No, no, I'm sorry, I didn't
meant to startle you.

It's okay, I'm not afraid.

I know you're not.

That's a baby earthling.

Is it yours?

It's my new baby brother.

What's his name?

Joe.

Joe.

Are we ready to go?

Yep, all set.

Let's go.

Who's your new friend, Parker?

He fell and I helped him up.

I fell and she helped me up.

Okay.

Come on.

Bye.

Bye.

Log 000200.

I don't know if you're ever
gonna hear this, dad,

but thank you, this planet
has changed me forever.

The people that I've come to
know in my short time here

will leave a lasting impression

and now I know that they're safe.

I also learned that evil is evil,

no matter what planet it's from.

So, where do I go now?

I'm not ready to leave these earthlings.

I guess for now I'm just
an alien hiding in plain sight.

I will attempt to search out

one of my original encounters, Snooki,

but until then.

Playtime.

♪ You get hit if you're
getting out of line ♪

♪ I've seen it happen all the time ♪

♪ Every dog has its day ♪

♪ Someday anyway ♪

♪ Never felt the need to have it all ♪

♪ Gonna take my trip beyond the wall ♪

♪ Damn right, we're
gonna slip that trip ♪

♪ Damn right, we're here to stay ♪

Oh, pastrami!

Oh, shit.

Oh, whoa.

♪ Step back 'cause we're taking over ♪

Just do it for five seconds
and we're golden.

Okay.

And action.

Line.

Oh, shit.

Oh.

You know where I could
find such a place?

Right there.

See that's why we don't nothing,
that's what happens.

You right, exactly.

Do it again.

♪ Came in like a wrecking ball ♪

Hit it, Peaches.

Right in my mouth, what?

What?

Four, take two.

I think the dog just farted.

Roll 26, what do I do?

Now say scene 39, take one.

One.

Action.

Miss.

Miss.

Security, security.

That's the one.

Patrick.

Hey, what...
Get back here!

Okay, ready?

Can you touch your
elbows behind your back?

Quality time.

Hold on.

You got earth gun in there?

Yep.

Action, you guys, move
around a little bit, okay?

Just try, just try.

Grind?

He said try not grind.

And three, two, one, that last one.

Thanks, got it, moving on,
please for the love of God.

What time do you get off work?

I would like to try earth
things with you.

I would like to play doctor.

♪ There's a storm
that's coming your way ♪

♪ Don't bother sounding the alarm ♪

♪ We don't really mean you any harm ♪

♪ Our time has come, damn right ♪

♪ Damn right, we're here to stay ♪

♪ Step back 'cause were takin' over ♪

♪ Step back 'cause were takin' over ♪

♪ Step back 'cause were takin' over ♪

♪ Step back 'cause were takin' over ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Someday, my day ♪

♪ Someday, my day ♪

♪ You get hit if you're
getting out of line ♪

♪ I've seen it happen all the time ♪

♪ Every dog has its day someday anyway ♪

♪ Never felt the need to have it all ♪

♪ Gonna take my trip beyond the wall ♪

♪ Damn right, gonna slip that trip ♪

♪ Damn right, we're here to stay ♪

♪ Step back 'cause were takin' over ♪

♪ Too long you've been
sitting on your throne ♪

♪ Inside your head,
there's no one home ♪

♪ While you're asleep ♪

♪ There's a storm
that's coming your way ♪

♪ Don't bother sounding the alarm ♪

♪ We don't really mean you any harm ♪

♪ Our time has come, damn right ♪

♪ Damn right, we're here to stay ♪

♪ Step back cause were takin' over ♪

♪ Step back cause were takin' over ♪

♪ Step back cause were takin' over ♪

♪ Step back cause were takin' over ♪

♪ Someday, my day ♪