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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:11,735 [BAND PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC] 2 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,938 [PEOPLE CHATTERING] 3 00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:30,721 In my family, when you take away a dame's honor... 4 00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:33,163 ...it's right you give it back, capische? 5 00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:34,858 - Yeah. - And what is she, ugly? 6 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,698 No, she's lovely, Uncle Fingers. It's backwards. 7 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:41,933 She's superb. She's beautiful. And she's still possessed of her honor, 8 00:00:42,109 --> 00:00:43,099 As far as I know. 9 00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:45,803 Then shut up. You're going to get married, period. 10 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:50,474 Why, half of the crumbs out there ain't been out of the woodwork for 30 years. 11 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,643 SOLO: Yeah? - But for this.... 12 00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:58,588 For the wedding of the Stilletto brothers, why, you ought to be proud. 13 00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,250 I'm not Italian, you know. 14 00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:04,125 That's all right. Try to be proud anyway. 15 00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:06,358 [WHISTLES] 16 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:10,095 Hey, you bubs, the bride-to-be. 17 00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:13,365 [CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING] 18 00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:22,239 Remember, those old duffers in there may look harmless... 19 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:27,013 ...but I can assure you that during the prohibition days... 20 00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:29,713 ...they could have and would have torn either one of you apart... 21 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:32,485 ...for the price of a cigar. 22 00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:35,060 So be careful. 23 00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:38,460 And, uh, we want Solo alive. 24 00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:55,739 [BAND PLAYING WEDDING MARCH] 25 00:01:57,884 --> 00:01:59,876 [APPLAUSE] 26 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,783 [WHISTLE BLOWING AND GUESTS SCREAMING] 27 00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:10,388 STRAGO: Right where you are. 28 00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,557 Hands up, everyone. 29 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:16,465 FINGERS: Hey, what is this? What do you bums think you are? 30 00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,963 Oh, Mr. Strago. 31 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,040 Um, Mr. Stilletto, I, uh.... 32 00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:25,339 I hope you'll not mind too much, but I've come to collect the bridegroom. 33 00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:28,110 Mr. Solo. 34 00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:31,479 So you do know him, you liar. He is your man. 35 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,518 Come on now, Mr. Solo. 36 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:36,657 You don't really want to get married, do you? 37 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,519 Well, uh.... 38 00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:42,356 Right now, I'm not quite so sure about that. 39 00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:47,160 Nobody draws on the Stilletto brothers, Strago, nobody. 40 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,326 [GUESTS YELLING AND MURMURING] 41 00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:55,906 PRETTY: Down, down. 42 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,505 [GUNFIRE] 43 00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:09,416 [GUESTS SCREAMING] 44 00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:15,518 [GRANDMAMMA SPEAKING IN ITALIAN] 45 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:16,686 [GUNSHOT] 46 00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:24,196 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN] 47 00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,855 [CYMBAL CRASHING] 48 00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:44,685 STRAGO: Stop firing, everyone! 49 00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:45,848 [GUNFIRE STOPS] 50 00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:56,464 I have in my hand a transistorized double-gamma capsule grenade... 51 00:03:56,636 --> 00:03:59,572 ...potent enough to blow half this room apart! 52 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:11,918 Lay down your arms, gentlemen. Please. 53 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:19,719 Mr. Solo, would you step this way? 54 00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:25,092 Oh, and the young lady too, I think. 55 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:28,667 Uh, just as a bit of insurance. 56 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,072 Against renewed hostilities. 57 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,698 [GUESTS MURMURING] 58 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,580 We'll get you for this, Strago! 59 00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:48,585 I swear it on my honor! On the code, I swear it! 60 00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:51,117 STRAGO: Sorry to tear you away from your friends, Mr. Solo... 61 00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:52,877 ...but Central has dictated... 62 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:56,387 ...I'm to drag you and Mr. Kuryakin along on a little journey. 63 00:05:56,556 --> 00:06:00,550 I don't know why myself, really. Interrogation, I suppose. 64 00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:01,888 SOLO: You've got Illya? 65 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,724 What there is left of him, yes. 66 00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:07,129 Thrush Central doesn't need this girl. I'm sure they couldn't care less about her. 67 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,792 I care, Mr. Solo. After you, my dear. 68 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:10,960 No! 69 00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:12,696 [PIA SPEAKING IN ITALIAN] 70 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,205 STRAGO: Now we got her in there... 71 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,969 ...Mr. Solo, will you get into the car under your own power or--? 72 00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:19,408 PIA: Aah! STRAGO: And you keep her quiet. 73 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:20,870 Or I tuck you-- 74 00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:23,974 [STRAGO GRUNTING] 75 00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:28,611 SOLO: I'll be back, Pia. 76 00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:31,053 STRAGO: Get him. Get him! After him. 77 00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,433 WAVERLY: Morning, Bill. BILL: Morning. 78 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,932 We've traced Strago and company... 79 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:45,197 ...at a privately owned little dot of an island in the Caribbean. 80 00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:46,567 From which point apparently... 81 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,266 ...they intend to launch the missiles to divert the Gulf Stream. 82 00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:52,241 SOLO: Unless we can prevent it. - Precisely. 83 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,540 Sixteen hours from now, Mr. Solo... 84 00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:58,446 ...we will launch three entire assault groups against this island. 85 00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,746 Supported by B-52 bombers... 86 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:04,255 ...we'll reduce the island and everything on it to rubble. 87 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,017 SOLO: Sir? 88 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,358 They can't do that. 89 00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,460 I beg your pardon. 90 00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:13,829 Well, uh, Illya, sir. 91 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,969 Strago missed out with me. 92 00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:18,765 If he's on that island, he's got Illya with him. 93 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,374 Yes, yes. Yes, I quite realize that. 94 00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:24,477 All right, sir. Illya's an agent, Section Two. 95 00:07:24,644 --> 00:07:27,944 He's expendable just like the rest of us. But what about the girl, Mr. Waverly? 96 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:31,551 - Pia Monteri. - Yes, I read your report about her. 97 00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:35,314 And, yes, I quite realize she's probably on the island as well. 98 00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:36,615 Sir.... 99 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:43,454 Whether through my fault or not, whether directly or indirectly... 100 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,826 ...I'm responsible for that girl being there. 101 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:49,527 Illya's a volunteer. He knows the risks. 102 00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:51,433 But not that girl. 103 00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:56,201 Are you an operative in this organization, Mr. Solo? 104 00:07:56,376 --> 00:08:00,404 If not, may I have your credentials, please? 105 00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:06,877 I'm sorry. 106 00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:11,291 I'll get some coffee. 107 00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:14,292 We'll demolish that island within 16 hours, Mr. Solo. 108 00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:17,693 And I give you my word there won't be a living thing left on it. 109 00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:20,834 So you won't have time for coffee... 110 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:24,529 ...if you intend to get there in time to do anything for those two young people. 111 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:29,266 Thank you, sir. 112 00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:36,880 Alexander Waverly, heh: 113 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:40,617 Sentimental grandmother of the year. 114 00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:58,737 PIA: You'll not touch me, you hear? STRAGO: How odd it is. 115 00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:01,340 I, who am impeccable... 116 00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:06,446 ...who cannot abide that which smacks of the common, the grimy. 117 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,146 How is it... 118 00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:12,809 ...that I would want to bring you with me to this island? 119 00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,319 You, who embody all that is vulgar in the world. 120 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,821 Ah, ah, ah, you stay away, you hear? 121 00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,960 STRAGO [WHISPERS]: You fascinate me. 122 00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:24,457 You'll no touch me. You'll no touch me. 123 00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:27,999 VON KRONEN: Ah, Fr�ulein. 124 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:29,636 You go to see Herr Strago? 125 00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,295 DIKETON: Taking him some orders we just received from Central. 126 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,031 VON KRONEN: Will you tell him, please... 127 00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:37,439 ...the magnetron is activated perfectly by the heavy water. 128 00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:38,600 DIKETON: Good. 129 00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:41,543 VON KRONEN: And if these very clever and charming young ladies... 130 00:09:41,714 --> 00:09:45,173 ...keep on as they are, the missiles will be armed... 131 00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:48,651 ...and ready for lowering in the launching room by tonight. 132 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,417 - I'll tell him, doctor. VON KRONEN: Uh, Fr�ulein Diketon. 133 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,150 Uh, yes? 134 00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:56,221 I must tell you... 135 00:09:56,763 --> 00:10:00,461 ...I cannot forget how beautifully you tortured that U.N.C.L.E. agent. 136 00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:04,163 DIKETON: Oh. - I.... 137 00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:05,737 I.... 138 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,738 I would like you to know that I.... 139 00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:13,471 I admire you very much. 140 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,414 Bravo! 141 00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:21,413 Oh, that's awfully sweet. 142 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:24,251 From a real professional like you. 143 00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:28,953 Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. 144 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,599 You touch me, I'll jump. 145 00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:37,361 [CHUCKLES] 146 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:39,567 Would you really? 147 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,108 Yes, I would, really. 148 00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:47,771 [KNOCKING AT DOOR] 149 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:49,638 [PIA GRUNTS] 150 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,488 How dare you? 151 00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:02,824 I did knock, sir, twice. 152 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:07,331 It didn't occur to me that you might be occupied, with that. 153 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:12,171 Don't be absurd, Miss Diketon. 154 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:15,701 Disgusting creature. 155 00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,587 So that's why they.... 156 00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:31,020 They wanted me to keep that U.N.C.L.E. agent alive. 157 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,292 Miss Diketon? 158 00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:35,951 Go see to it that Kuryakin is brought up here at once. 159 00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:37,696 Please. 160 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,765 At once, Miss Diketon. 161 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,378 STRAGO: Mr. Kuryakin. 162 00:11:55,548 --> 00:12:01,784 Thrush Central has decreed that I'm to keep you alive and in good health. 163 00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:03,890 Does that, uh...? 164 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:07,721 - Does that surprise you, Mr. Kuryakin? ILLYA: Are you all right? 165 00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,329 STRAGO: I'm speaking! 166 00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:12,294 [ILLYA GRUNTS] 167 00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,627 To you, Mr. Kuryakin. 168 00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:18,966 Yes, I'm quite surprised. May I ask why? 169 00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:21,369 Well, you'll find that out in due course. Meanwhile.... 170 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,533 [TELEPHONE BEEPING] 171 00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:25,505 - Yes? MAN [OVER PHONE]: Orange alert, sir. 172 00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:28,842 Fifteen-mile perimeter, coming straight in from the mainland side. 173 00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:31,014 - Good rate of speed, sir. STRAGO: Um, uh.... 174 00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:35,178 Set the barrier. I'll, uh, come up personally. 175 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:39,222 You may as well come too, Mr. Kuryakin, under the.... 176 00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:40,621 Under the, uh, circumstances... 177 00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:43,729 ...there's no reason why you shouldn't be given the guided tour. 178 00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:45,364 You, my dear, will stay here. 179 00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:47,261 Please. 180 00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:50,059 See that she does. 181 00:12:53,906 --> 00:12:55,238 DIKETON: Sit down, sweetie. 182 00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:06,786 STRAGO: So, Mr. Kuryakin... 183 00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:10,355 ...while much of America and Europe are becoming icy wastes... 184 00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:15,962 ...Greenland will become Thrushland and, uh, we shall all live happily ever after. 185 00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:19,426 ILLYA: What's to prevent other countries from destroying Thrushland? 186 00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:21,397 STRAGO: That's what I brought you here to see. 187 00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:23,798 - Uh, how close? CAPTAIN: Uh, 10.5 miles, sir. 188 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,303 STRAGO: Activate the barrier at 10 miles. CAPTAIN: Roger. 189 00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:29,271 Call Dr. Von Kronen and ask him to meet me here... 190 00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,741 ...after this quick demonstration. 191 00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:34,244 Yes, oh. 192 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,780 Here, take a look, Mr. Kuryakin. 193 00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:42,017 In the bowels of this island... 194 00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:44,714 ...there are over 100,000, um, tuning forks... 195 00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:49,226 ...all ready to vibrate at the top of their lungs. 196 00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:51,261 Their cumulative vibration is joined together... 197 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:56,233 ...and funneled up in a single channel to that, uh-- Yes. 198 00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:59,429 To that reflecting disk. 199 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,497 Activate the barrier, captain. 200 00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,676 Barrier activated, sir. 201 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:07,473 Focus in on that approaching vessel, Mr. Kuryakin. 202 00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:11,584 Now, pretend we're already on Greenland-- Um, Thrushland. 203 00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:14,880 And the United Nations has sent that vessel to, uh.... 204 00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,319 To destroy us. 205 00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:19,926 Now, captain! 206 00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:27,898 [HIGH-PITCHED SHRIEKING] 207 00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:59,162 You're mad in the head, signorina. 208 00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:02,302 I wouldn't even spit at Signor Strago. 209 00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:06,032 I'm not afraid of you. 210 00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:09,673 You let me out of here, or I'll cut you up like a chicken. 211 00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:13,779 Oh, yes. 212 00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:15,642 I think you should try to escape. 213 00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:20,684 In fact, I'm going to love you trying to escape. 214 00:15:22,989 --> 00:15:24,480 [DIKETON CHUCKLES] 215 00:15:27,226 --> 00:15:29,218 [BOTH GRUNTING] 216 00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:41,634 No knives, Signorina Knife Lady, huh? 217 00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:43,367 [PIA LAUGHING] 218 00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:35,961 Take her up to her cell. 219 00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:47,564 Go ahead, doctor. 220 00:16:48,474 --> 00:16:51,444 VON KRONEN: Well, there are only two things, Herr Strago. 221 00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,102 Both of-- 222 00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:55,042 STRAGO: Yes, doctor? 223 00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:56,944 VON KRONEN: Both of which concern the fact... 224 00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:59,950 ...that these rooms and this launching tube... 225 00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:03,055 ...are located 75 feet below sea level. 226 00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:07,419 Uh, first, the tremendous water pressure against these outer doors-- 227 00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:10,085 You needn't worry about that, professor. 228 00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:13,927 When the missiles are ready for launching, the, uh, tube will be adequately pressurized. 229 00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:18,295 - Mr. Strago. - Heh, I don't intend to drown my people. 230 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,133 Mr. Strago. 231 00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:22,172 Your second point? 232 00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:26,576 I would advise that we advance our timetable. 233 00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:28,570 Say, 12 hours? 234 00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:33,152 By launching the missiles sooner, we can take advantage of the tides. 235 00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:38,147 If you can get them ready that soon, we'll launch them that soon. 236 00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,058 Please, Mr. Strago. 237 00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:42,621 I told you to keep that girl here... 238 00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:46,254 ...and I return to find her on her way out, wielding my letter opener... 239 00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:51,461 ...and you flat on your back like some rank amateur. 240 00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:53,435 Oh, but, Mr. Strago, it was an accident-- 241 00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:56,166 You have failed in your job! 242 00:17:56,342 --> 00:18:00,780 Thrush Central does not tolerate failure. 243 00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:03,743 You're sick, Miss Diketon. 244 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:07,375 Even for Thrush, you are very, very sick. 245 00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:10,022 You're aware, of course, that, uh... 246 00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:15,685 ...my superior is arriving tonight to approve the plans, uh, and wish us well. 247 00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:20,959 I shall ask him to, uh, have you transferred. 248 00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:23,329 For rehabilitation, if possible. 249 00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,835 Transferred? 250 00:18:27,573 --> 00:18:30,634 Tran--? Away from you? 251 00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,640 With an unsatisfactory a rating as I can possibly give you. 252 00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:35,441 For I am sick too. 253 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,141 Sick of the very sight of you and your unclean mind... 254 00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:43,051 ...which corrupts the very air I breathe. 255 00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:45,987 Well, um, dismissed, Miss Diketon. 256 00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:55,766 VON KRONEN: Each missile will be numbered... 257 00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:59,667 ...and each will travel approximately one mile farther... 258 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,102 ...than the one launched before. 259 00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:03,265 [TELEPHONE BEEPING] 260 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:05,967 STRAGO: Yes? 261 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:09,081 MAN [OVER PHONE]: We've got another vessel within the 15-mile perimeter. 262 00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:12,810 Larger and slower. Fishing boat, probably. 263 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,255 STRAGO: Don't use the sound barrier this time. 264 00:19:16,422 --> 00:19:21,156 I don't want, uh, the debris to bring the search planes into the area. 265 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:25,423 Uh, we're launching the missiles tonight? 266 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:28,898 Yes. And, uh, I don't want any delays. 267 00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:32,971 Use the, um-- Use the patrol boat this time. 268 00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:00,899 Well, just toss me back in, will you? 269 00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:03,832 - We'll call it even. - Some of our old pals... 270 00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:07,963 ...have traced Strago's boat from Chicago down through the Gulf. 271 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:11,838 Now, we know he's on that island. Why ain't you? 272 00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:13,809 He's a pal of yours, ain't he? 273 00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:18,782 No, uh, not exactly, no. 274 00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,443 And where's Pia? Is she on the island too? 275 00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:26,691 - Where's our niece, punk? - Look, you wanna see Pia safe, so do I. 276 00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:29,488 If you wanna get out to that island, you'd better know how to swim. 277 00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:32,962 - Because they got doozey of a weapon-- FEET: Shut up, bridesgroom. 278 00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:35,966 We want Strago. We want Pia and Strago! 279 00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:40,436 Yeah, I know your vendetta. Well, you just can't go galumphing into-- 280 00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:43,098 Look, let's get in out of the sun. 281 00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:46,507 I'll tell all a nice story about the Gulf Stream... 282 00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:51,174 ...and nuclear missiles and a wicked little bird called Thrush. 283 00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:53,012 How about it? 284 00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:55,711 A little bird called what? 285 00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:05,121 I am sorry I cause such trouble for Signor Solo. 286 00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:07,232 But now you tell me he's a policeman, huh? 287 00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:08,423 Now I understand. 288 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:12,766 - No, we're not policemen, uh-- - And you, I cause trouble for you too. 289 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:16,170 Now you must worry about my life as well as your own. 290 00:21:19,044 --> 00:21:22,503 You know, you are a nice man. I like you. 291 00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:23,808 [CHUCKLES] 292 00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:26,111 I like you too. 293 00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:31,256 - You-- You're not Italian, eh? - No. 294 00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:35,360 - Pity, isn't it? - Heh, no, it doesn't matter. 295 00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:38,623 It's just that the grandma, you know, she says, always, uh.... 296 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:40,198 [KNOCKING] 297 00:21:42,334 --> 00:21:45,065 Hey, you. 298 00:21:47,873 --> 00:21:50,433 Hurry up, I only have a minute. 299 00:21:50,609 --> 00:21:52,771 If I help you get free, what then? 300 00:21:52,945 --> 00:21:54,675 ILLYA: Who wants to know? 301 00:21:54,847 --> 00:21:58,045 Listen to me, Illya. Strago, I hate him. 302 00:21:58,217 --> 00:22:01,244 I wanna see him fail. I wanna see him crawl. 303 00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:03,548 And then I'd like to kill him slowly. 304 00:22:03,722 --> 00:22:06,453 - I'd like to-- - You said you only had a minute. 305 00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:08,591 There'll be a party tonight. 306 00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:11,230 I think you're supposed to provide some of the entertainment. 307 00:22:11,397 --> 00:22:13,298 Promise me you'll help me destroy Louis Strago... 308 00:22:13,465 --> 00:22:15,525 ...and I'll help you get free, yes or no? 309 00:22:15,701 --> 00:22:18,500 - What about Pia? I won't leave-- - Just you, I said. Yes or no. Quickly. 310 00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:20,799 - Yes. - Good. 311 00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:29,572 SOLO: Well, that's the story, gentlemen. 312 00:22:29,748 --> 00:22:32,741 In a very few hours, my friends are going to be coming to level that island. 313 00:22:32,918 --> 00:22:36,377 - So if we're, uh-- - Hey, Feet, Fingers, Pretty. 314 00:22:36,555 --> 00:22:39,525 Looks like maybe we got some visitors. 315 00:22:44,129 --> 00:22:45,995 SOLO: Coming straight out from the island. 316 00:22:46,465 --> 00:22:48,127 Probably a patrol boat. 317 00:22:48,634 --> 00:22:50,796 Try rumrunning for a while, kid. 318 00:22:50,970 --> 00:22:53,769 You learn how to handle patrol boats pretty well. 319 00:22:53,939 --> 00:22:55,305 You remember, guys? Heh, heh. 320 00:22:55,808 --> 00:22:57,902 [ALL SPEAKING IN ITALIAN] 321 00:22:58,077 --> 00:23:00,273 All right, come on, let's get ready. 322 00:23:00,446 --> 00:23:02,381 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN THEN LAUGHS] 323 00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:27,232 CAPTAIN [OVER MEGAPHONE]: You are in restricted waters. 324 00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:32,344 Please turn all hands to and prepare to be boarded for inspection. 325 00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:36,739 [GUNFIRE] 326 00:24:12,251 --> 00:24:14,618 Scissors, Scissors! 327 00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:16,653 Scissors, Scissors. 328 00:24:16,822 --> 00:24:18,256 Stop firing. 329 00:24:21,827 --> 00:24:25,059 - I give up. - He's dead. 330 00:24:25,230 --> 00:24:27,096 Thirty-five years, I know this bum. 331 00:24:27,433 --> 00:24:28,867 And now you killed him! 332 00:24:29,034 --> 00:24:31,026 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN] 333 00:24:31,203 --> 00:24:33,195 FINGERS: Hold it, hold it. 334 00:24:37,576 --> 00:24:39,340 I'll kill you, you-- I'll kill you. 335 00:24:39,511 --> 00:24:41,275 [ALL SHOUTING] 336 00:24:41,447 --> 00:24:43,473 If you don't want us to turn him loose, my friend... 337 00:24:43,649 --> 00:24:47,108 ...then I'd suggest you take us to your little island home. 338 00:25:15,114 --> 00:25:16,810 SOLO: Oh, you're in for a bad evening. 339 00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:22,720 All right, Crunch, that boat may be our only transportation out of here. 340 00:25:22,888 --> 00:25:24,789 We need a good man to stay with it. 341 00:25:24,957 --> 00:25:26,823 CRUNCH: Don't worry. Me and the boat'll be here. 342 00:25:26,992 --> 00:25:28,324 SOLO: All right. CRUNCH: Good luck. 343 00:25:28,494 --> 00:25:30,326 PRETTY: Don't sleep. That ain't Lake Michigan. 344 00:25:30,496 --> 00:25:32,055 CRUNCH: Will you stop worrying? 345 00:25:34,066 --> 00:25:35,762 [HELICOPTER WHIRRING] 346 00:25:35,934 --> 00:25:37,368 Down. 347 00:25:44,676 --> 00:25:48,670 - What's he doing? - It's a bigwig from Thrush Central. 348 00:25:48,847 --> 00:25:50,907 Mr. Strago's boss. 349 00:25:51,083 --> 00:25:54,144 The Man in the Green Hat, they call him. 350 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,586 Oh, coming for the kick-off, huh? 351 00:25:56,755 --> 00:26:00,214 Okay, gentlemen. We've got a long walk. Let's get it done. 352 00:26:09,735 --> 00:26:12,398 THALER: A great privilege, Professor Von Kronen. 353 00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:15,097 We at Thrush Central are grateful for your help, sir. 354 00:26:15,274 --> 00:26:19,211 STRAGO: Oh, professor, this is Mr. Thaler, my, uh, heh, immediate superior. 355 00:26:19,378 --> 00:26:22,246 VON KRONEN: I'm honored. THALER: Oh, the faithful Miss Diketon. 356 00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:24,940 - More beautiful than ever. DIKETON: Oh, thank you, sir. 357 00:26:25,117 --> 00:26:28,610 THALER: You'd be a fortunate man, Strago, if you were human. 358 00:26:28,787 --> 00:26:31,018 Oh, uh, that U.N.C.L.E. agent... 359 00:26:31,190 --> 00:26:33,682 - ...I trust you've still got him. - Yes, of course, sir. 360 00:26:33,859 --> 00:26:36,590 Good. I'll be wanting to chat with him a bit... 361 00:26:36,762 --> 00:26:39,197 ...to sort of, uh, prelude, you might say. 362 00:26:39,364 --> 00:26:41,060 Uh, oh, in that case, Mr. Thaler... 363 00:26:41,233 --> 00:26:43,964 ...I'll go have the guards clean him up a little before you meet him. 364 00:26:44,136 --> 00:26:48,267 - Splendid, my dear. Run along. - I'll be joining you at the party. 365 00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:54,542 THALER: She is adorable. 366 00:26:54,713 --> 00:26:58,013 - A party? In my honor? - Yes, naturally, sir. 367 00:26:58,183 --> 00:27:00,049 Uh, Mr. Thaler.... 368 00:27:00,853 --> 00:27:05,587 I'm afraid I've had to write a distinctly unfavorable fitness report on Miss Diketon. 369 00:27:05,757 --> 00:27:09,592 I'd, uh, like to request her transfer out of my command. 370 00:27:09,761 --> 00:27:14,756 THALER: That bad? - Incorrigible, sir, and irreparably corrupt. 371 00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:21,737 Well, well, we certainly can't have corruption in Thrush, can we? 372 00:27:21,907 --> 00:27:25,366 But don't transfer her, Strago. Just kill her and have done with it, will you? 373 00:27:25,544 --> 00:27:28,104 Save all that annoying paperwork. 374 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:32,081 Now, would you show me to my room? I'd like to freshen up. 375 00:27:40,159 --> 00:27:42,094 DIKETON: Just the young man. 376 00:27:42,694 --> 00:27:45,254 - Come on. ILLYA: Pia, I-- 377 00:27:46,231 --> 00:27:49,463 How fortunate we don't have to make her presentable for Mr. Thaler. 378 00:27:49,635 --> 00:27:52,070 Probably couldn't be done. 379 00:27:52,738 --> 00:27:56,573 Take him to the assembly elevator. Get him cleaned up, at least. 380 00:28:02,748 --> 00:28:06,310 Everyone's upstairs at the party, waiting for the main attraction. 381 00:28:06,485 --> 00:28:08,113 That's you, Mr. Kuryakin. 382 00:28:08,287 --> 00:28:10,279 [GUARD LAUGHS] 383 00:28:12,824 --> 00:28:15,089 [GASPS] 384 00:28:16,628 --> 00:28:19,188 Ooh, that was lovely. 385 00:28:25,637 --> 00:28:27,401 ILLYA: I'm going back for Pia. 386 00:28:27,573 --> 00:28:30,907 DIKETON: That's not only nauseating, it's insane. 387 00:28:31,076 --> 00:28:33,739 There's a fast patrol boat anchored on the other side of the island. 388 00:28:33,912 --> 00:28:37,440 - I said I am going back for Pia. - But you can't do that. We have to-- 389 00:28:37,616 --> 00:28:39,209 [VON KRONEN SPEAKING IN GERMAN] 390 00:28:40,752 --> 00:28:43,244 Herr Strago wasn't wrong after all. 391 00:28:43,956 --> 00:28:46,790 And I, who came here to warn you about him... 392 00:28:47,159 --> 00:28:49,526 ...must now go on to warn him about you! 393 00:28:49,895 --> 00:28:51,420 Shoot him. 394 00:29:08,847 --> 00:29:10,406 [THUD] 395 00:29:12,718 --> 00:29:14,209 I almost feel sorry for him. 396 00:29:14,386 --> 00:29:16,912 You see, the doctor, we were soul mates. 397 00:29:19,324 --> 00:29:21,884 - Is there another way out of here? DIKETON: The other elevator. 398 00:29:22,060 --> 00:29:24,586 You better change into the guard's uniform. 399 00:29:30,035 --> 00:29:32,027 [GRUNTING] 400 00:29:36,975 --> 00:29:38,341 [CHUCKLES] 401 00:29:38,510 --> 00:29:40,570 - Hi. - Hi, there. 402 00:29:40,746 --> 00:29:42,271 [CLEARS THROAT] 403 00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:44,177 [ILLYA GRUNTS] 404 00:29:44,349 --> 00:29:47,581 SOLO: You know, I'm getting tired of violence. Your uniform, I thought, uh.... 405 00:29:47,753 --> 00:29:51,554 - Yes, yes, so did I. SOLO: Sorry. 406 00:29:52,758 --> 00:29:54,158 I said I was sorry. 407 00:29:54,326 --> 00:29:57,819 I mean, how did I know you'd have the brains to get free on your own? 408 00:29:58,630 --> 00:30:01,657 I bring Lucrezia Borgia, and you bring the Mafia. 409 00:30:01,833 --> 00:30:03,768 Ha, we're in great shape. 410 00:30:11,777 --> 00:30:13,769 [CROWD CHATTERING] 411 00:30:16,982 --> 00:30:18,974 [BAND PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC] 412 00:30:23,422 --> 00:30:25,687 I trust it was no imposition. 413 00:30:25,857 --> 00:30:28,383 STRAGO: On the contrary. It was a pleasure to get Kuryakin. 414 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:32,622 My only regret is that we couldn't bring Solo as well. 415 00:30:32,798 --> 00:30:35,859 Well, one is better than none. 416 00:30:36,034 --> 00:30:38,026 You do understand, Strago. 417 00:30:38,203 --> 00:30:40,968 Here, I've ordered the deaths of any number of U.N.C.L.E. agents... 418 00:30:41,139 --> 00:30:44,439 ...and I've never witnessed a single execution. 419 00:30:44,609 --> 00:30:47,636 I don't wanna get a reputation as strictly a desk man, you know. 420 00:30:47,813 --> 00:30:50,510 - I want to be with my troops. - Oh, I understand fully, sir. 421 00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:54,551 And Kuryakin's death, which I assure you will be a unique one, ha, ha... 422 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:57,383 ...should be a nice climax to the party. 423 00:30:57,556 --> 00:31:00,993 A pi�ce de r�sistance, if you will. Ha, ha. 424 00:31:06,965 --> 00:31:08,957 Something wrong, Strago? 425 00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:13,669 No, sir. No, sir, nothing that, uh.... 426 00:31:13,839 --> 00:31:16,536 Nothing that can't be taken care of. Heh. 427 00:31:17,175 --> 00:31:19,144 Excuse me. 428 00:31:24,549 --> 00:31:26,313 The scum, where is he? 429 00:31:26,485 --> 00:31:28,681 Who let him out? Answer me. 430 00:31:28,887 --> 00:31:30,788 Answer me! 431 00:31:37,062 --> 00:31:39,054 [BONGOS BEATING] 432 00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:44,726 [BAND PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC] 433 00:31:50,809 --> 00:31:52,141 Yellow alert. 434 00:31:52,310 --> 00:31:55,678 See to it that the U.N.C.L.E. agent is tracked down and brought to me. 435 00:31:55,847 --> 00:31:57,679 He can't get far on this island. 436 00:31:57,849 --> 00:32:00,375 And, guard, Miss Diketon. 437 00:32:00,552 --> 00:32:03,078 I want to see her too. 438 00:32:05,056 --> 00:32:08,993 Wonderful party, Strago. Haven't enjoyed myself so much in years. 439 00:32:09,161 --> 00:32:11,357 STRAGO: Very happy, sir. Heh. 440 00:32:11,530 --> 00:32:15,433 Oh, uh, there's been a slight delay in readying the special equipment... 441 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:19,230 ...for the, uh, U.N.C.L.E. agent's grand finale. 442 00:32:19,404 --> 00:32:24,502 May I suggest that we, uh, postpone his performance until after the launch? 443 00:32:24,676 --> 00:32:27,840 THALER: You do have a sense of the theatrical, my dear Strago. 444 00:32:28,013 --> 00:32:30,414 Frankly, I never thought you had it in you. Ha-ha-ha. 445 00:32:30,582 --> 00:32:33,950 Thank you. Uh, I'm afraid we have to break up the party, sir. 446 00:32:34,119 --> 00:32:36,486 There's, uh-- There is some work to do, you know? 447 00:32:36,655 --> 00:32:38,647 THALER: Oh, to be sure. Where do we go from here? 448 00:32:38,824 --> 00:32:41,817 Well, uh, may I show you the facilities? 449 00:32:41,993 --> 00:32:45,760 They're really quite impressive, you know. 450 00:32:48,099 --> 00:32:49,590 PRETTY: We got your buddy, right? 451 00:32:49,768 --> 00:32:53,432 Okay, so all we gotta do now is to grab Pia and get back to the boat. 452 00:32:53,605 --> 00:32:56,200 FEET: Yeah, when your bombers get here, what is it, three hours... 453 00:32:56,374 --> 00:32:57,398 ...we'll be 50 miles away. 454 00:32:57,576 --> 00:32:59,477 SOLO: That was the original intention, gentlemen. 455 00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:01,044 It's not quite that simple anymore. 456 00:33:01,213 --> 00:33:03,273 What do you mean, it ain't quite that simple anymore? 457 00:33:03,448 --> 00:33:06,418 Well, for one thing, if my playmate is telling the truth... 458 00:33:06,585 --> 00:33:08,247 ...Strago has changed his timetable. 459 00:33:08,453 --> 00:33:11,116 In three hours, half those missiles will already have been launched. 460 00:33:11,323 --> 00:33:14,054 DIKETON: It's true. CAPTAIN: What's the difference? 461 00:33:14,226 --> 00:33:15,489 With our sound-wave barrier... 462 00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:18,459 ...it makes no difference whether your bombers get here on time or not. 463 00:33:18,630 --> 00:33:21,828 - Who asked you, Fauntleroy? SOLO: As it happens, he's probably right. 464 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,434 I really never liked you. 465 00:33:23,602 --> 00:33:25,764 SOLO: Now, we got three things to do: rescue Pia... 466 00:33:25,971 --> 00:33:29,237 ...destroy that sound-barrier contraption and stop the launching of the missiles. 467 00:33:29,407 --> 00:33:30,932 - Is that all? SOLO: Hmm. 468 00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:36,508 Now, look at this map here that Fauntleroy has so graciously given us. 469 00:33:36,681 --> 00:33:38,343 Now, here's the launching area. 470 00:33:38,517 --> 00:33:41,248 We can get to it by either of these two elevators. 471 00:33:41,419 --> 00:33:43,183 Well below sea level. 472 00:33:43,355 --> 00:33:45,950 ILLYA: I'll take care of that end. - I'll take you part of the way. 473 00:33:46,124 --> 00:33:48,218 I wish your motives were nobler. 474 00:33:48,393 --> 00:33:52,330 Now, the control of the sound barrier is in the tower. 475 00:33:52,497 --> 00:33:55,092 I'll go up there with your help. 476 00:33:55,267 --> 00:33:56,826 FEET: What about Pia? PRETTY: Yeah, Pia. 477 00:33:57,002 --> 00:33:58,903 - Yeah, that's what I want to find out. SOLO: Shh. 478 00:33:59,070 --> 00:34:01,505 ILLYA: The cells are here. One level down. 479 00:34:01,673 --> 00:34:03,471 I'll stop there first and bring her up to you. 480 00:34:03,642 --> 00:34:05,042 There won't be time for that. 481 00:34:05,210 --> 00:34:07,611 Look, I'm helping you because I wanna see Strago fail. 482 00:34:07,779 --> 00:34:10,613 I wanna see him crawl for the miserable insect he is. 483 00:34:10,782 --> 00:34:13,946 But I will not risk my life for that sniveling little peasant girl-- 484 00:34:14,119 --> 00:34:17,578 Watch your mouth, baby. I'll put a grapefruit in it for you. 485 00:34:17,756 --> 00:34:20,351 - Yeah. - Don't worry, there'll be time. 486 00:34:20,525 --> 00:34:22,016 And what'll we be doing? 487 00:34:22,193 --> 00:34:24,355 Sit around reading poems to each other? 488 00:34:24,529 --> 00:34:29,627 I hope not. I'll be up in the tower and Illya will be down here. 489 00:34:29,801 --> 00:34:34,830 And I suspect there'll be a great number of little Thrushies in between. 490 00:34:39,744 --> 00:34:41,042 FINGERS: Excuse me, fellows. 491 00:34:41,212 --> 00:34:42,510 [FINGERS CHUCKLES] 492 00:34:42,681 --> 00:34:44,547 You got a light? 493 00:34:45,951 --> 00:34:50,514 My lighter busted and I'm clear out of matches. Just clear out. 494 00:34:50,689 --> 00:34:53,523 Heh, heh. Thank you, pal. 495 00:35:03,568 --> 00:35:06,663 ILLYA: Very nice. - Used to be our living. 496 00:35:06,838 --> 00:35:09,706 SOLO: Keep the courtyard clear. They might bring in reinforcements. 497 00:35:09,874 --> 00:35:12,503 PRETTY: Gee, I hope so. SOLO: Let's get up to the tower. 498 00:35:12,677 --> 00:35:14,236 Come on. Move out. 499 00:35:14,412 --> 00:35:17,576 Hey, when you get up there, pull every wire on that sound barrier thing. 500 00:35:17,749 --> 00:35:20,548 SOLO: All right, good luck down in the basement. 501 00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:22,620 How long is it before they launch those missiles? 502 00:35:22,787 --> 00:35:24,346 PIA: Any time now. 503 00:35:27,525 --> 00:35:30,256 SOLO: Is that the elevator? GUARD: No, it's over here. 504 00:36:08,199 --> 00:36:11,465 Now, that elevator will, uh, carry the missiles... 505 00:36:11,636 --> 00:36:13,605 ...numbered and armed into the storage room. 506 00:36:13,772 --> 00:36:16,799 And, uh, in exactly, uh, yes, nine and a half minutes... 507 00:36:16,975 --> 00:36:20,036 ...the first load will be leaving the storage room going through the tunnel... 508 00:36:20,211 --> 00:36:21,645 ...and into the launching room. 509 00:36:21,813 --> 00:36:24,408 - Uh, following that, sir-- THALER: Excellent, excellent. 510 00:36:24,582 --> 00:36:26,813 You're a bit of a pompous boor, my dear Mr. Strago... 511 00:36:26,985 --> 00:36:28,681 ...but you do know your job. 512 00:36:28,887 --> 00:36:30,822 Mr. Strago, please. Communications line two. 513 00:36:30,989 --> 00:36:32,150 Mr. Strago, please. 514 00:36:32,323 --> 00:36:34,690 - [OVER SPEAKER] Line two. STRAGO: Pardon me for a moment. 515 00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:36,327 THALER: Certainly. 516 00:36:38,530 --> 00:36:40,055 Strago speaking. 517 00:36:40,231 --> 00:36:42,097 Sir, this is Williams, Section L Enforcement. 518 00:36:42,267 --> 00:36:44,133 Sorry to trouble you, but I saw Miss Diketon.... 519 00:36:45,203 --> 00:36:49,163 What do you mean you didn't recognize the guard that she was with? 520 00:36:49,808 --> 00:36:51,834 Are you sure? 521 00:36:54,312 --> 00:36:56,872 Yes, I see. All right, Williams! 522 00:36:59,250 --> 00:37:04,154 Now, look, you get on the field telephone and contact every one of the guard unit... 523 00:37:04,322 --> 00:37:06,587 ...searching the island for the U.N.C.L.E. agent. 524 00:37:06,758 --> 00:37:09,922 We launch in about, um, 10 minutes. 525 00:37:10,095 --> 00:37:13,429 And I want every single one of those men back here! 526 00:37:17,168 --> 00:37:19,763 If you will excuse me, sir, I.... 527 00:37:21,773 --> 00:37:24,140 It appears that I'm, uh.... 528 00:37:24,309 --> 00:37:27,507 That I'm needed upstairs for a minute or two. 529 00:37:27,679 --> 00:37:30,478 Certainly. I'll go down to the storage and launch level. 530 00:37:30,648 --> 00:37:32,241 See how it's done. 531 00:37:32,417 --> 00:37:34,283 Yes, I'll be working in the launching apparatus. 532 00:37:34,452 --> 00:37:37,149 Up in the control tower. If you would rather-- 533 00:37:37,322 --> 00:37:39,120 THALER: No, no, Strago, no. 534 00:37:39,290 --> 00:37:41,725 This is a big moment for Thrush, ha. 535 00:37:41,893 --> 00:37:43,987 I want to see that first missile go. 536 00:37:44,162 --> 00:37:45,790 [THALER LAUGHS] 537 00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:52,370 Mr. Strago wants to see the girl. Open up, please. 538 00:37:52,537 --> 00:37:54,870 But he's already taken her out, Miss Diketon. 539 00:37:55,039 --> 00:37:58,806 - I think he's looking for you too. - Oh, yes, I'm sure he is. 540 00:37:59,644 --> 00:38:01,135 Drop it. 541 00:38:05,917 --> 00:38:09,684 DIKETON: He must've taken her to his suite. No, no, wait, there's no time for that. 542 00:38:09,854 --> 00:38:11,948 They'll be launching the missiles any minute. 543 00:38:12,123 --> 00:38:16,026 You go downstairs and I'll go up to Strago's suite. 544 00:38:17,428 --> 00:38:19,192 Don't worry. I won't hurt her if she's there. 545 00:38:19,364 --> 00:38:21,060 I only care about Strago. 546 00:38:21,232 --> 00:38:23,758 Illya, you go downstairs. Do whatever you want to those missiles. 547 00:38:23,935 --> 00:38:28,100 Destroy them, anything. My only interest is watching Strago's face when you do it. 548 00:38:35,947 --> 00:38:37,973 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 549 00:38:38,149 --> 00:38:39,139 [PIA SCREAMS] 550 00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:41,616 STRAGO: This time you will tell me all that I want to know. 551 00:38:41,786 --> 00:38:42,913 It's time you tell me. 552 00:38:43,087 --> 00:38:44,077 [PIA SPEAKING IN ITALIAN] 553 00:38:44,255 --> 00:38:46,383 PIA: I don't know! - You do know, and you will tell me! 554 00:38:46,558 --> 00:38:48,459 - Tell me, tell me! PIA: I don't know. 555 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:52,697 There's more than one U.N.C.L.E. agent on this island, isn't there? 556 00:38:52,864 --> 00:38:53,854 Isn't there? 557 00:38:54,032 --> 00:38:55,432 What are their plans, dear? 558 00:38:55,867 --> 00:38:58,735 How do they hope to stop me, dear? 559 00:39:06,344 --> 00:39:10,179 Remember the time Bugs Moran told us our presence was no longer desired? 560 00:39:10,348 --> 00:39:12,408 PRETTY: I sure do. 561 00:39:16,387 --> 00:39:18,379 [GUNFIRE] 562 00:39:23,928 --> 00:39:25,590 Hello, Control Tower. 563 00:39:28,066 --> 00:39:29,796 STRAGO [OVER RADIO]: Captain? Control Tower. 564 00:39:29,968 --> 00:39:31,834 - Captain? - Yes, sir, Mr. Strago. 565 00:39:32,003 --> 00:39:34,131 Yes, there seems to be gunfire in the courtyard. 566 00:39:34,305 --> 00:39:37,241 Is everything all right up there? 567 00:39:37,408 --> 00:39:39,343 Yes, sir. 568 00:39:39,510 --> 00:39:41,206 Nothing wrong at all, sir. 569 00:39:41,379 --> 00:39:46,181 Good, I'm coming up there immediately. We're launching the missiles right now. 570 00:39:52,423 --> 00:39:53,447 Mr. Strago. 571 00:39:53,625 --> 00:39:54,923 Ugh! 572 00:40:17,749 --> 00:40:19,718 - Hello there. ILLYA: How do you do? 573 00:40:19,884 --> 00:40:23,343 Uh, I'm Thaler. From Central. 574 00:40:23,521 --> 00:40:26,958 - I'm, uh, honored, sir. - Oh, yes? 575 00:40:27,125 --> 00:40:30,323 You know, I was hoping one of these fellows would show me around. 576 00:40:30,495 --> 00:40:32,691 I'm afraid they're much too busy. 577 00:40:32,864 --> 00:40:37,097 And I certainly wouldn't want to interrupt their concentration. 578 00:40:37,302 --> 00:40:40,534 Uh, could you, uh, give me a sort of tour? 579 00:40:40,705 --> 00:40:43,174 Show me how it works. 580 00:40:43,341 --> 00:40:46,573 - Uh, it would be a pleasure. - Oh, good, thank you. 581 00:40:47,879 --> 00:40:50,747 ILLYA: This is Mr. Thaler of Thrush Central. 582 00:41:05,263 --> 00:41:07,255 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN] 583 00:41:14,772 --> 00:41:17,765 Stay still. You're hurt. 584 00:41:17,942 --> 00:41:19,240 You're helping me? 585 00:41:19,410 --> 00:41:21,504 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN] 586 00:41:23,114 --> 00:41:26,016 Look, you, uh, get out of here. 587 00:41:26,184 --> 00:41:29,882 Your uncles are waiting, uh, in the courtyard. That way. 588 00:41:31,022 --> 00:41:32,422 - And you? - No, I'm fine. 589 00:41:32,590 --> 00:41:34,821 You just get out of here. 590 00:41:35,326 --> 00:41:36,692 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN] 591 00:41:47,271 --> 00:41:49,365 SOLO: Where's the launching apparatus? 592 00:41:50,341 --> 00:41:52,970 What launches the missiles, captain? 593 00:41:53,411 --> 00:41:54,811 What, captain? 594 00:41:54,979 --> 00:41:56,880 [SOLO GRUNTS] 595 00:41:57,048 --> 00:42:01,144 CAPTAIN: I'm sorry. They had me prisoner-- STRAGO: Never mind that now! 596 00:42:05,723 --> 00:42:07,624 Attention, Launching Room, attention! 597 00:42:07,792 --> 00:42:10,523 But of course, sir. All this equipment is now controlled-- 598 00:42:10,695 --> 00:42:15,156 STRAGO [OVER SPEAKER]: Missile number one ready to be launched. 599 00:42:17,068 --> 00:42:19,196 Outer hatch now open. 600 00:42:20,138 --> 00:42:21,766 Do you mean this inner hatch here... 601 00:42:21,939 --> 00:42:24,875 ...is the only thing that keeps the ocean from coming in on us? 602 00:42:25,043 --> 00:42:27,774 STRAGO: Missile will be fired in exactly 60 seconds. 603 00:42:27,945 --> 00:42:30,608 Yes, that's about the size of it. 604 00:42:30,782 --> 00:42:34,878 Uh, if you'll excuse me, I'll give you a graphic demonstration. 605 00:42:40,691 --> 00:42:42,125 [THALER SCREAMING] 606 00:42:45,596 --> 00:42:48,498 Twenty seconds. 607 00:42:57,475 --> 00:42:58,704 Fifteen seconds. 608 00:43:03,281 --> 00:43:05,182 STRAGO: Ten seconds. 609 00:43:05,349 --> 00:43:07,341 [GRUNTING] 610 00:43:07,585 --> 00:43:09,918 Five seconds. 611 00:43:14,826 --> 00:43:16,727 Hello. Launching Room, hello? 612 00:43:18,496 --> 00:43:20,761 STRAGO: Launching Room? 613 00:43:25,403 --> 00:43:27,099 Hello? 614 00:43:32,143 --> 00:43:34,612 Hello? Hello? 615 00:43:34,779 --> 00:43:37,248 Hello, Launching Room? 616 00:43:37,415 --> 00:43:40,351 Why don't you answer me down there? What's wrong down there? 617 00:43:40,518 --> 00:43:42,248 Hello? 618 00:43:42,420 --> 00:43:45,948 There's no-- There's no power. There's no reaction at all. 619 00:43:46,124 --> 00:43:48,320 Get them on the other phone, go. Hello? 620 00:43:48,493 --> 00:43:53,659 Launching Room, answer me. Hello? Launching Room, hello! 621 00:43:54,465 --> 00:43:55,455 Why don't you answer me? 622 00:43:55,633 --> 00:43:58,398 Hello? Launching Room, hello? 623 00:43:58,569 --> 00:44:02,062 Hello? Kill him. Kill him. 624 00:44:07,845 --> 00:44:09,370 [GRUNTING] 625 00:44:09,547 --> 00:44:11,413 Kill him! Hello? 626 00:44:11,616 --> 00:44:14,609 Kill him. Kill him! 627 00:44:14,785 --> 00:44:15,912 Kill him! 628 00:44:36,774 --> 00:44:38,208 Solo! 629 00:44:38,376 --> 00:44:41,574 Mr. Solo, come down now, Mr. Solo. 630 00:44:43,648 --> 00:44:46,117 [GASPING] 631 00:44:49,387 --> 00:44:52,949 - Ha! Mr. Solo, now-- - Mr. Strago. 632 00:44:54,192 --> 00:44:55,319 [GUNSHOT THEN DIKETON GRUNTS] 633 00:45:18,683 --> 00:45:20,345 [GRUNTING] 634 00:45:40,238 --> 00:45:42,935 [ALL SCREAMING] 635 00:46:26,050 --> 00:46:27,541 [DIKETON SIGHS] 636 00:46:30,354 --> 00:46:32,755 [WHISPERS] Oh, the pain. 637 00:46:37,928 --> 00:46:40,261 I saw you fail. 638 00:46:40,731 --> 00:46:43,360 I saw you die. 639 00:46:46,437 --> 00:46:48,269 [SIGHS] 640 00:46:52,243 --> 00:46:54,269 Ahem, how are you? 641 00:46:54,445 --> 00:46:55,936 Pooped. 642 00:46:57,181 --> 00:46:59,810 Where's Pia? Have you seen her? 643 00:46:59,984 --> 00:47:02,977 - No, I thought-- - Come on. 644 00:47:03,154 --> 00:47:05,453 [FINGERS & PIA SPEAKING IN ITALIAN] 645 00:47:10,528 --> 00:47:12,929 Grandmother would be so proud of you. Ha, ha. 646 00:47:13,097 --> 00:47:18,126 Hey, I got a confession. I didn't enjoy this like I thought. 647 00:47:18,302 --> 00:47:21,101 Yeah, not like the good old days. It ain't like it used to be. 648 00:47:21,272 --> 00:47:25,073 Hey, wait a minute. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. 649 00:47:25,242 --> 00:47:28,610 Why don't we send these guys a Saint Valentine's Day card? 650 00:47:28,779 --> 00:47:30,441 Just for a present, huh? 651 00:47:30,614 --> 00:47:32,674 Hey, that's a good idea! 652 00:47:32,850 --> 00:47:36,946 Now you're talking. All right, you guys, turn around. 653 00:47:37,121 --> 00:47:40,182 FINGERS: Face the wall. Keep your hands up. 654 00:47:41,859 --> 00:47:43,487 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN] 655 00:47:43,661 --> 00:47:44,651 Shh! 656 00:47:44,829 --> 00:47:46,821 [FINGERS & PIA BICKERING IN ITALIAN] 657 00:47:52,870 --> 00:47:54,862 [ALL SPEAKING IN ITALIAN] 658 00:47:58,576 --> 00:48:01,171 - Just one thing. - Hmm. 659 00:48:01,345 --> 00:48:04,782 We better leave before the bombers get here. 660 00:48:04,949 --> 00:48:06,941 Do we have to swim? 661 00:48:10,121 --> 00:48:12,352 [CROWD CHATTERING] 662 00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:17,794 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN] 663 00:48:18,696 --> 00:48:20,892 [CHEERING] 664 00:48:25,503 --> 00:48:28,268 WAVERLY: Grandmamma Monteri, you're a genius. 665 00:48:28,439 --> 00:48:31,204 You're among the immortals. Chicago is going to love you. 666 00:48:31,375 --> 00:48:33,367 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN] 667 00:48:39,984 --> 00:48:42,453 FINGERS: Hey, hey. 668 00:48:42,620 --> 00:48:44,987 Keep your hands where they belong, blondie. 669 00:48:45,156 --> 00:48:47,716 ILLYA: Aah! - You too, kid. 670 00:48:47,925 --> 00:48:51,692 We share our food with you. We share our wine with you. 671 00:48:51,862 --> 00:48:55,663 And that's all we share, punks. Right? 672 00:48:55,833 --> 00:48:58,064 - Right. GRANDMAMMA: Right. 673 00:48:58,235 --> 00:49:00,227 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN] 674 00:49:01,238 --> 00:49:03,935 It seems to me, gentlemen, you met your match at last. 675 00:49:56,560 --> 00:49:58,552 [ENGLISH SDH] 52898

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