Original subtitles

Ahh.

Hello. You've reached the Davis residence.

We've moved to Los Angeles.

If you want to buy our house,

please call my mom, Muriel,

care of the Alamo Motel.

Or just leave a message.

Hey, house.

I just thought I'd call and say hi.

Mourning doves,

I know you're eavesdropping, so I'll say hi to you, too.

Remember, don't eat Horace.

I know he's just a slug,

but he's a pretty good guy.

Sailor rubber ducky,

sorry you fell out of the box.

I'll come back to get you soon.

I like it here.

But the truth is, when I first got to the Alamo,

I wasn't so sure.

Neither was mom.

When she took the job at the motel,

I don't think she knew how hard it would be.

And I guess I didn't know how strange it would be.

There is this girl, Calamine Jones,

she wears a sailor suit.

And she hated me, but I didn't know why.

Then there's this business man kind of guy.

His name is Mr. Cavendish.

He likes playing this weird game.

It's just weird.

I often dream of otters.

I'm sorry. I really don't have time

for the game right now, Mr. Cavendish

I often dream of otters.

I often dream of otters!

I often dream of otters!

You win again, Mr. Cavendish.

And then there's this kid Lance,

who, I gotta say, was a bit of a creepster.

Oh. Hey, Lance. You're up early.

Yes. Mother and I are going to donate to the saliva bank.

Is that like a blood bank?

Yeah, but for saliva.

Good morning.

Come on, Lance, we want to beat the lines.

They pay $10 a quart.

Lancelot Arthur Kincaid.

I wasn't sure how I fit in here,

or even if I wanted to.

Then the other day, I heard this song.

Welcome to the Alamo, L.A.'s best kept secret.

We have an ostrich?

I'm gonna have to put you on hold

for just one tiny second.

Someone left him in the middle of the night.

People see a movie about some super cool animal,

and they decide they gotta get one.

Then they say, "Hey, it's not super cool at all.

"It's a nasty, freaky, fuzzy land bird."

And then they say, "Hey, let's just

"drop this thing off at the Alamo,

"and that crazy stray animal lady will take care of it."

Not this time.

This monster's going to an animal shelter

where it belongs.

Just don't name it, Mom.

Whenever you name them, you never get rid of them.

Right, Frank?

Don't worry.

So, what's up with you today?

Well, I just saw this girl drive by on a birthday float.

She was wearing this crown,

and she was sitting on a purple throne.

And then she saw me.

And waved. It was like...

And then I was like...

And... and then she threw taffy at me.

Okay.

Yeah, so I was wondering if I could, you know,

head off to go look around for her.

Nice try.

But you're always saying how I need to make new friends here.

Well, what's wrong with Lance?

He's selling his own spit.

That Calamine Jones seems sort of interesting.

She doesn't talk.

I'm pretty sure she hates my guts.

Well, I can't just let you wander off into the city.

And I'm too busy to drive you myself.

Nice ostrich.

Maybe Candy can drive me.

Who? I met this girl.

He waved at a girl.

She waved at me first.

Let me see her wave.

Your wave.

Yeah. Yeah, I can drive him, Miss Davis.

It's fine. I gotta go out, anyways.

This looks very important.

Please, Mom?

I gotta find her.

All right, on two conditions.

I get to check in with you any time I want.

Done. What's the second thing?

"Attention, Los Angeles.

"This is a special announcement.

"If you recently saw the hit movie 'The Awesome Ostrich,'

"please, do not go out and buy an ostrich.

"They're not super cool, they're not house pets..."

This is an ostrich, people.

They do not mess around.

I'm gonna tell you a little story.

I once saw an ostrich take on a grizzly bear

in a cage match throw down.

And guess who won.

Anybody?

Not the bear!

Not... the bear.

You're welcome, city of Los Angeles.

Please, please, please, please drive safely,

and have yourself a snazzy, ostrich free day.

I didn't really know Candy,

and I didn't know why she wanted to help me.

All I knew was we were on our way.

Nope. Ahh, uh... Too happy.

Too sad.

God, total garbage.

Don't worry, we'll find it.

We're looking for la cancion suprema.

The supreme song.

I don't think we had one of those in Idaho.

Idaho.

How'd you wind up here?

Well, when my grandfather died,

he left the Alamo to us.

My mom thought coming out here

would give us both a chance to start over.

Well, you cannot start over without

la cancion sup-rrrr-ema.

It's a state law.

Hey. You like oranges?

Hector, my man.

Hi.

So, have you seen a girl drive by on a float?

He's from Idaho, so...

So, why does your mom take in all these weird animals?

She sees a stray animal, she just has to take it in.

It's a little weird.

But the good thing is, she took me in.

Kind of like with that ostrich.

Somebody had something that they didn't want,

so they left it at our house.

My mom opened up this box, and there was a baby inside.

Me.

What? No.

She named me Mayo, which is short for mayonnaise,

'cause the box she found me in was a mayonnaise box.

Mm-hm. You're a liar.

I never lie.

It's mom. You want to ask her if it's true?

You were found in a box?

No. Come on, seriously. Last chance.

Okay.

Hey, Mom.

Yeah, I'm fine.

No, no birthday girl yet.

How's it goin' with the ostrich?

I think it wants to eat me.

Keep away from me, you monster.

Whatever you do,

don't name it.

I'm not gonna name it.

Come on, birthday girl. Where are you?

These songs stink.

How do you know when you've found it,

la cancion suprema?

It's weird,

but your stomach starts to hurt.

Then... you get goosebumps.

Then a feeling of hope,

despite life's funny way of crushing your soul.

That's her!

Turn around, turn around!

Okay. We'll catch 'em on Alameda.

Okay, come on.

Why doesn't she like me?

She's just being Calamine Jones.

That's her! Over here.

I'll tell ya, house. Could have been perfect.

Then I got ambushed by a rubber ducky.

Whoa.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Where is she?

She's over...

No, she...

Dude, you had her.

I know.

I've just never seen a rubber ducky like that before, okay?

It's just so snazzy.

What, so you're into rubber duckies or something?

No. Definitely not.

I mean, maybe when I was a kid, but...

I have a huge collection of rubber duckies

that I keep in a display case.

I like to give them names and...

sometimes I take baths with them.

I know. Okay?

Let's just go home.

No. No, no, no. Come on.

She's out there somewhere.

Nobody said making friends was easy.

How would you know?

I mean, you're just so not me.

When I was a kid,

I moved four times in five years.

I think I know what lonely is like.

Sometimes I call my old house and talk to it.

For three years... my best friend was

a stuffed turtle named Brainino.

That's pretty weird.

Oh, yeah? Well, at least I don't take baths with rubber duckies.

Weirdo.

Pull over.

There!

The birthday girl.

I'm a little scared.

That's okay.

Sometimes, when my brain is telling me to flee,

I do this thing

where I trick it by fleeing,

but fleeing in the direction of the thing that I'm scared of.

Got it? No.

Flee!

Flee! Okay, oh... Good luck!

Don't talk about rubber duckies!

Or taking baths with them.

Hey, how's it goin'?

Well done, very nice.

Strong effort.

Oh, hi. I'm Mayo. Mayo Davis.

How's it goin'? I like your dresses.

Do you know this guy?

Um, I'm the guy that you waved at on the float this morning.

Near the Alamo Motel.

I'm really sorry.

I waved at a lot of people this morning.

But y-you looked right at me.

I looked back. There was waving.

Maybe this will help.

Sorry.

This doesn't look good.

I could go over there and help him out.

I have that option.

But part of growing up is figuring things out on your own.

You'll learn that.

I'm a banana.

So, what'd you wish for?

If I tell you, it won't come true.

She wished that you would leave.

Oops.

Now it won't come true.

No, it probably will.

I say it definitely will.

So I'm gonna get goin'.

Nope? All right.

Sorry, anyway.

No way.

You got this at the pinata store, right?

It's so snazzy, right?

Does that mean you're a fan of rubber duckies?

She's more a fan of smashing rubber duckies.

What are you doing?

It's a pinata.

You beat it with a stick until the candy comes out.

I... I know how it works.

Then give it a try.

It's okay. I'll go.

He's good.

Hit the duck with the stick.

You know, I was just thinking.

It's kind of weird, isn't it,

celebrating someone's birth by obliterating a duck?

Sorry, I'll shut up now.

I just want you to know that I'm totally pro pinata,

and pro birthday all the way.

It's just, well, I like rubber duckies.

Just a little.

Well, a lot and sometimes I take baths with them.

Yeah, so here's my proposal.

What if we could find a way to bring together

pinatas, birthdays, and rubber duckies

all together in a way that felt a little more magical?

Hit the duck with the stick.

Ready?

One... two...

Flee! I'm... I'm so sorry.

Come back!

Come on!

It's gonna be okay.

He's a banana.

We all are.

Oh... Hi. Hey, uh, Lance, Miss Kincaid.

Um, how's it goin'?

So I decided to make a donation, too. Um...

It... It's in my mouth.

Give us the duck!

They'll never take us alive!

Mr. Cavendish. Help!

Mr. Cavendish help!

No, no, no, this isn't a game.

This isn't a game!

Hey, Mom, everything's great.

I gotta go. Love you. Bye.

Did you find that girl?

I... I did, but there was a little mix up,

and now she's looking for me.

Hey, new friend. I love you. Gotta go.

Don't name the ostrich.

I'm not gonna name it.

Candy, where are you?

Oh, that's a yummy lunch.

Anybody see a kid

running with a rubber ducky pinata,

he wears glasses, comes from Idaho?

Anybody?

Where are you, Mayonnaise?

I'm gonna need some back up.

I am gonna need...

some serious back up.

I am losing it, Brainino, I am losing it.

My stomach hurts.

Goosebumps.

A feeling of hope despite life's funny way of crushing your soul.

Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no,

we can't lose it. Not now.

Come on, song, I need you!

Oh, my cancion suprema!

Oh, okay.

Ooh, bumps. We're good. We're good.

Sorry. Okay.

Just give us the duck.

It's my birthday. I'll take care of this.

The duck, please.

You don't have to smash it just because they want you to.

I know. Come on!

Come on! They're getting away, they're getting away!

My stomach hurts.

My stomach hurts.

Goosebumps.

A feeling of hope despite life's funny way of crushing your soul.

I'll explain later. Come on!

Make it up as we go along

And if we write our own story

We'll never be boring

And we can get it on

It's hard to explain

What's goin' on inside my brain

It's like a puppy parade

Rain down confetti on my day

On count of one, two, three

Triple duck day, move your feet

Tell me what you thought

In a secret language we'll make up

So what if we're the underdogs

We'll make it up as we go along

And if we write our own story

We'll never be boring

And we can get it on

So what if we're the underdogs

We'll make it up as we go along

La cancion suprema!

Hey. It's okay.

Well, hello.

Mom, this is the birthday girl.

Hi. Oh, well, welcome to the Alamo.

What happened with the ostrich?

I didn't name him,

so I thought, this time, I'm really gonna do it.

but then I put him in this little outfit.

I mean, look at him.

So dashing.

So that's pretty much the whole story, house.

The birthday girl wanted to tell me her name,

but I asked her if I could keep calling her the birthday girl,

and she said okay.

Souvlaki, gamora, angina, huzzah.

Those are the words she invented

that you say right before you let it go.

Get ready!

Hey, happy birthday.

Hey. Thanks.

So, house, if you're wondering about my new life here,

I'd have to say it's pretty snazzy.

Sure, I almost got clobbered trying to save this duck,

but I learned that when your brain is saying,

"Hey, buddy, are you sure you want to do this?"

That's when you gotta say, "Brain, it's time for me to make a stand."

Bye for now, house.

I miss you guys, and I hope you miss me, too.

So what if we're the underdogs

We make it up as we go along

And if we write our own story

We'll never be boring

And we can get it on

So what if we're the underdogs

We make it up as we go along

And if we write our own story

We'll never be boring

And we can get it on