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1
00:00:01,504 --> 00:00:03,296
Urgh, look at them.
2
00:00:03,530 --> 00:00:05,799
There's nothing worse
than couples in love,
3
00:00:06,078 --> 00:00:07,720
especially when one of them
is someone
4
00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,776
you've been dying to have sex with.
5
00:00:10,522 --> 00:00:12,944
That'll be Abby,
the girl, in this case.
6
00:00:13,296 --> 00:00:15,914
She still has no idea
how I feel about her.'
7
00:00:16,232 --> 00:00:17,789
Shall we go out tonight?
8
00:00:19,459 --> 00:00:20,799
It's Wednesday.
9
00:00:21,667 --> 00:00:22,667
So?
10
00:00:23,541 --> 00:00:26,434
Oh, come on.
I'm in the mood for some fun.
11
00:00:27,355 --> 00:00:29,537
We are going out for
my birthday, aren't we?
12
00:00:30,161 --> 00:00:33,617
Yeah, that's the 4th of June,
six weeks away.
13
00:00:37,125 --> 00:00:39,919
Or how about we...
14
00:00:40,901 --> 00:00:41,978
we...
15
00:00:43,453 --> 00:00:45,089
I hate it when people do that,
16
00:00:45,209 --> 00:00:49,085
say the first bit of the sentence aloud,
then whisper the interesting bit...
17
00:00:49,205 --> 00:00:52,554
That's because it's private
and I don't want you to hear.
18
00:00:53,630 --> 00:00:55,239
Sorry. Did I say that out aloud?
19
00:00:57,203 --> 00:00:58,203
Sorry.
20
00:01:00,121 --> 00:01:01,119
In the shower?
21
00:01:01,465 --> 00:01:03,465
I tend to think of showers
as for after.
22
00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:05,759
You know, to scrub the sex off.
23
00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:08,698
For crying out loud, Karl.
24
00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:11,983
The woman is offering you sexy
intercourse.
25
00:01:12,103 --> 00:01:13,513
Don't turn it down!
26
00:01:13,633 --> 00:01:15,665
Are you insane in the mind?
27
00:01:15,785 --> 00:01:18,602
Take her upstairs,
climb into the shower
28
00:01:18,722 --> 00:01:21,569
and do some wet nailing!
29
00:01:21,689 --> 00:01:24,037
Cos if you don't, my friend, I will!
30
00:01:25,605 --> 00:01:27,874
Sometimes I wish I could
just say what's on my mind.
31
00:01:28,611 --> 00:01:30,434
Life would be so much easier.
32
00:01:31,414 --> 00:01:32,683
I'm going out.
33
00:01:36,213 --> 00:01:37,265
How about
34
00:01:38,335 --> 00:01:39,950
we have sex in your bed,
35
00:01:40,511 --> 00:01:43,349
but we do it
in more than one position?
36
00:02:08,690 --> 00:02:11,074
I personally wanted
to get this to you so that...
37
00:02:13,765 --> 00:02:15,255
You're poking out...
38
00:02:15,488 --> 00:02:16,199
What?
39
00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:18,116
Your penis.
40
00:02:23,457 --> 00:02:24,519
Sorry about that.
41
00:02:25,701 --> 00:02:27,594
Don't be so childish, Bitchman.
42
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,319
- Everyone gets morning glory.
- It's two in the afternoon.
43
00:02:31,646 --> 00:02:34,409
Yeah, well, I've just got up,
so it's morning to me.
44
00:02:35,946 --> 00:02:38,005
Your grandmother consigned this
property to you
45
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:39,733
on condition{\that you}
to sustain the payments.
46
00:02:39,853 --> 00:02:41,323
You've neglected those terms.
47
00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:43,679
I didn't understand a word of that.
48
00:02:44,156 --> 00:02:47,754
- You have to pay the mortgage.
- I haven't got a job.
49
00:02:48,581 --> 00:02:50,599
Why don't you get one?
50
00:02:56,658 --> 00:02:59,794
I've never understood why people
frown upon getting out of bed late.
51
00:03:00,541 --> 00:03:03,330
Surely if my body naturally wakes
up at 2pm,
52
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:05,865
that's natures way of telling me
"it's OK".
53
00:03:06,618 --> 00:03:07,450
Nope.
54
00:03:08,826 --> 00:03:09,658
Nope.
55
00:03:10,577 --> 00:03:11,409
Nope.
56
00:03:11,643 --> 00:03:13,594
Jesus! Eddie!
57
00:03:14,574 --> 00:03:17,411
You scared the hell out of me.
You've gotta stop doing that!
58
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:18,531
Sorry.
59
00:03:19,070 --> 00:03:21,039
So, you're looking for a job?
60
00:03:22,544 --> 00:03:24,646
I thought it was time
I started looking.
61
00:03:24,766 --> 00:03:27,359
But they all want CVs and
references and shit.
62
00:03:27,828 --> 00:03:28,639
And shit?
63
00:03:29,630 --> 00:03:31,683
Just CVs and references.
64
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:35,149
Why can't you get a
reference from a previous job?
65
00:03:35,901 --> 00:03:39,159
DON'S LAST 6 JOBS
66
00:03:42,248 --> 00:03:43,199
You're fired.
67
00:03:43,986 --> 00:03:44,959
You're fired.
68
00:03:47,399 --> 00:03:48,279
You're fired.
69
00:03:50,893 --> 00:03:51,799
You're fired.
70
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:54,452
Wait, wait.
71
00:04:00,010 --> 00:04:01,679
Wherever you are, you're fired.
72
00:04:01,901 --> 00:04:04,999
Yeah, I think we're gonna have
to assume a reference is a no go.
73
00:04:07,913 --> 00:04:09,554
Hmm, indeed.
74
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:13,712
What job requires
absolutely no qualifications,
75
00:04:13,964 --> 00:04:16,839
no experience and no-one liking you?
76
00:04:23,781 --> 00:04:25,007
Hey, excuse me.
77
00:04:28,347 --> 00:04:31,059
- Handsome! Do you fancy signing up?
- Piss off!
78
00:04:31,843 --> 00:04:32,803
Rapist!
79
00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:37,694
I'm Anna.
80
00:04:38,100 --> 00:04:39,159
You're forward.
81
00:04:40,021 --> 00:04:41,039
What do you mean?
82
00:04:42,309 --> 00:04:43,827
Oh, right. You work here, too?
83
00:04:45,146 --> 00:04:47,783
What did you think?
I was just hitting on you in the street?
84
00:04:48,453 --> 00:04:50,279
Why's that so funny?
It could happen.
85
00:04:50,746 --> 00:04:51,991
Yeah, right.
86
00:04:52,111 --> 00:04:55,759
Suddenly I could see a point
to doing charity work.
87
00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:57,578
Anyway, I'm Don.
88
00:04:58,261 --> 00:05:00,119
- I'm new.
- No, you're not.
89
00:05:00,822 --> 00:05:02,479
- What do you mean?
- You're old.
90
00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:06,041
You are a cheeky madam, aren't you?
91
00:05:06,161 --> 00:05:07,929
What you doing this job for?
92
00:05:08,049 --> 00:05:09,160
You a bit special?
93
00:05:11,413 --> 00:05:12,931
No, I'm actually loaded.
94
00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:16,119
But don't tell the others,
I don't want to embarrass them.
95
00:05:16,341 --> 00:05:18,799
No, I'm just doing this cos
I want to give a little back.
96
00:05:19,696 --> 00:05:21,221
By taking a little?
97
00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:25,738
I suppose I'll be
seeing you around then?
98
00:05:26,301 --> 00:05:28,592
If you don't mind being seen
talking to a geriatric?
99
00:05:28,712 --> 00:05:30,959
I happen to find older men sexy.
100
00:05:31,770 --> 00:05:36,034
- I'd like to sign up for your charity.
- I wouldn't bother, mate, it's rubbish.
101
00:05:39,934 --> 00:05:42,514
- How'd it go?
- Great. Yeah, great.
102
00:05:43,388 --> 00:05:45,119
It was... let me see,
embarrassing...
103
00:05:46,774 --> 00:05:47,719
humiliating...
104
00:05:48,741 --> 00:05:50,508
And degrading.
105
00:05:52,522 --> 00:05:54,602
- But...
- I love buts.
106
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,239
I met a foxy chicken today.
107
00:06:00,883 --> 00:06:02,025
She's only 20.
108
00:06:03,549 --> 00:06:05,458
But then, look,
I'm only 29, you know?
109
00:06:05,757 --> 00:06:09,089
We're both in our 20s,
we're both young and free and...
110
00:06:09,441 --> 00:06:11,421
What I'm saying is,
it's not a big age gap.
111
00:06:11,541 --> 00:06:13,159
Hang on, what about Abby?
112
00:06:13,715 --> 00:06:17,502
Look, I can't keep chasing her
and getting knock backs.
113
00:06:17,622 --> 00:06:20,479
I have my reputation to keep.
You're sure you want to keep that?
114
00:06:21,291 --> 00:06:22,267
Look,
115
00:06:22,854 --> 00:06:26,359
if Abby wants to go
out with panda eyes, let her.
116
00:06:26,790 --> 00:06:27,933
Look, Singh,
117
00:06:28,053 --> 00:06:32,023
what you have to understand about me
is love just doesn't suit me.
118
00:06:32,143 --> 00:06:34,086
You know, it just doesn't fit.
119
00:06:34,206 --> 00:06:36,883
It's at least one size too small.
120
00:06:38,581 --> 00:06:42,275
I'm a loner, a shark,
a player, you know?
121
00:06:44,457 --> 00:06:46,769
You won't find me as
one half of a couple.
122
00:06:46,889 --> 00:06:50,850
I don't come in a pair. No way.
I'm not a Twix, no.
123
00:06:51,529 --> 00:06:52,326
I'm a...
124
00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:54,338
Twick.
125
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:57,074
But what about this young lady
you want to court?
126
00:06:57,861 --> 00:07:00,880
Well, exactly. I want to court her,
127
00:07:01,616 --> 00:07:03,227
not go out with her.
128
00:07:04,016 --> 00:07:07,663
I'm telling you, Eddie.
If you saw her, you'd get fizzy balls!
129
00:07:07,783 --> 00:07:09,119
Why? What's wrong with her?
130
00:07:09,879 --> 00:07:11,173
Never mind.
131
00:07:15,819 --> 00:07:17,354
Yeah, laugh it up, bitch.
132
00:07:17,474 --> 00:07:19,039
What are you wearing that for?
133
00:07:19,767 --> 00:07:22,754
Don's got a new job. Really? Yeah.
He's gonna be a charity collector.
134
00:07:23,394 --> 00:07:24,999
- He's a chugger?
- What?
135
00:07:25,431 --> 00:07:26,797
Charity mugger.
136
00:07:27,191 --> 00:07:28,199
Ch-ugger.
137
00:07:28,421 --> 00:07:29,796
Hello. I am here.
138
00:07:30,362 --> 00:07:32,466
Yeah, clearly this
top isn't working.
139
00:07:32,741 --> 00:07:36,079
I think you're brave, cos I couldn't
deal with all that rejection.
140
00:07:36,301 --> 00:07:38,714
Oh, don't worry,
Don's used to all that!
141
00:07:40,274 --> 00:07:42,149
Impressive career choice, Don.
142
00:07:42,269 --> 00:07:45,714
What are the opportunities like
in chugging these days?
143
00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:49,359
Well, I'm not obsessed
with career like you.
144
00:07:50,566 --> 00:07:53,156
I just wanna do my bit
for the world.
145
00:07:54,247 --> 00:07:57,298
Plus it was the only job
he was qualified for.
146
00:07:58,285 --> 00:07:59,800
What? No, Eddie!
147
00:08:00,568 --> 00:08:03,540
There's no need to taunt him.
Now, hurry up! We're gonna be late.
148
00:08:07,527 --> 00:08:10,557
I'd like to donate some money,
if I may?
149
00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:14,274
- Come off it, I'm not at work now!
- No, no, no. I wanna help you out.
150
00:08:15,153 --> 00:08:16,390
- Really?
- Yeah!
151
00:08:18,602 --> 00:08:19,487
Here.
152
00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:23,615
Ever seen one of these before?
153
00:08:24,762 --> 00:08:26,637
Nah, thought not.
154
00:08:27,309 --> 00:08:28,589
Put what you like on it!
155
00:08:30,317 --> 00:08:31,799
What do you say?
156
00:08:32,493 --> 00:08:35,724
- Oh, come off it, Karl.
- No, you climb down from it.
157
00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:38,442
What's the magic word?
158
00:08:41,781 --> 00:08:43,199
I think you'll find it's,
159
00:08:43,882 --> 00:08:44,874
"Thank you".
160
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,977
- Thank you, Karl.
- Sorry, what was that?
161
00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:52,194
- Thank you, Karl.
- My pleasure.
162
00:08:52,314 --> 00:08:56,387
Right, my work here is done. Now,
I've left a beef Wellie in the oven.
163
00:08:56,563 --> 00:08:58,527
Take it out in 20 minutes.
164
00:08:58,810 --> 00:09:01,557
We need to hurry because
it starts at seven. Come on.
165
00:09:01,677 --> 00:09:04,759
OK. Must get down to the centre.
Can't neglect the OAPs.
166
00:09:05,156 --> 00:09:07,164
We'll give you a lift, if you like?
167
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,434
- You don't mind?
- Of course not.
168
00:09:09,554 --> 00:09:11,347
I mean, I am a taxi driver after all.
169
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,214
Great. How long have you
been doing that?
170
00:09:13,334 --> 00:09:14,774
That's a joke.
171
00:09:16,981 --> 00:09:17,981
See you, Don!
172
00:09:19,413 --> 00:09:20,693
Oh, hang on!
173
00:09:23,421 --> 00:09:26,455
I was actually beginning
to enjoy my humiliating job.
174
00:09:26,786 --> 00:09:29,442
Not because of the work,
but because of the colleagues.
175
00:09:29,562 --> 00:09:30,310
Morning.
176
00:09:30,430 --> 00:09:31,739
This one in particular.
177
00:09:31,859 --> 00:09:33,615
- How's it going?
- Yeah, not bad.
178
00:09:33,735 --> 00:09:36,178
I'm finally beginning
to lure them in now
179
00:09:36,298 --> 00:09:37,999
I've got some strong opening lines.
180
00:09:38,221 --> 00:09:41,479
4 OF DON'S BEST OPENING LINES
181
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,107
Help...
182
00:09:43,227 --> 00:09:45,695
with victims of ball cancer?
183
00:09:46,781 --> 00:09:49,395
If you don't donate,
I'll pull the trigger.
184
00:09:53,621 --> 00:09:55,750
Excuse me, do something
nice for charity?
185
00:09:56,273 --> 00:09:58,961
You bastard! I'm gonna kill you.
186
00:09:59,081 --> 00:10:01,207
I'm gonna climb into your room
whilst you're sleeping
187
00:10:01,327 --> 00:10:04,250
and rip out your throat
and shove it up your arse!
188
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,159
Would you do
something nice for charity?
189
00:10:06,444 --> 00:10:08,679
What you doing later?
Fancy going for a drink with me?
190
00:10:09,746 --> 00:10:11,361
- Yes, I do.
- Cool.
191
00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:14,858
So I was going out with someone
nearly a decade younger than me,
192
00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:17,536
but that's just one decade,
one's a small number.
193
00:10:17,656 --> 00:10:19,329
Then in the autumn I'm going to uni.
194
00:10:19,449 --> 00:10:21,214
Anyway, it wasn't an issue.
195
00:10:21,334 --> 00:10:23,919
Don't wanna be doing this
when I'm your age. No offence.
196
00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:25,434
None taken.
197
00:10:27,319 --> 00:10:29,679
Watcha.
What's Bill Oddie doing here?
198
00:10:32,142 --> 00:10:33,696
That's their nickname for you.
199
00:10:34,985 --> 00:10:37,726
Cos you're old and all you do
all day is watch birds.
200
00:10:40,086 --> 00:10:43,233
Very funny. Are you sure you're
allowed to be in here?
201
00:10:43,701 --> 00:10:45,014
I say there, barman?
202
00:10:45,134 --> 00:10:47,994
I think there's
some underage drinkers here.
203
00:10:49,573 --> 00:10:52,165
I've told you kids
to stop drinking in my pub.
204
00:10:53,722 --> 00:10:56,152
I didn't know
you were actually underage.
205
00:10:56,792 --> 00:10:58,919
- Nice job, Oddie.
- What we gonna do now?
206
00:11:01,005 --> 00:11:02,498
I know a cool little pub.
207
00:11:08,261 --> 00:11:09,826
What is this place?
208
00:11:10,221 --> 00:11:12,274
This is a real pub, my friends.
209
00:11:13,101 --> 00:11:14,239
This place is AIDS.
210
00:11:14,994 --> 00:11:16,559
- What?
- It's AIDS.
211
00:11:17,429 --> 00:11:18,834
That means it's bad.
212
00:11:18,954 --> 00:11:21,919
No, no. This is a cool little pub.
213
00:11:22,251 --> 00:11:23,775
I wanna kill myself.
214
00:11:24,221 --> 00:11:27,058
- There's no music.
- You don't need music.
215
00:11:27,178 --> 00:11:29,834
Not when you've got
genuine atmosphere.
216
00:11:33,446 --> 00:11:34,399
More drinks?
217
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:37,434
Could I get a tenner, Don?
218
00:11:38,733 --> 00:11:39,831
Yeah, sure.
219
00:11:45,623 --> 00:11:47,960
Mate, have you heard the latest album
by The Suicide Babies?
220
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:51,893
- Yeah, it's gooch.
- It ain't gooch. It's nasty.
221
00:11:52,013 --> 00:11:55,799
No way, man. The "New Death
To Jesus" album, that's nasty.
222
00:11:56,021 --> 00:11:58,624
The Death to Jesus album?
Mate, that album smells.
223
00:11:58,744 --> 00:12:00,948
That's a felch record.
That is a felch record.
224
00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:03,198
It's felch.
Felch, felch.
225
00:12:04,435 --> 00:12:06,919
Have you heard the new LP from Blur?
226
00:12:07,141 --> 00:12:08,851
- It's wicked.
- Blur?
227
00:12:09,374 --> 00:12:10,039
LP?
228
00:12:10,918 --> 00:12:12,454
My dad likes Blur.
229
00:12:13,008 --> 00:12:15,318
Now, The Fists new tune.
That's what I'm talking about.
230
00:12:16,089 --> 00:12:18,599
- I got The Fists on CD.
- CD?
231
00:12:19,374 --> 00:12:21,641
No, I mean I downloaded it
from iTunes.
232
00:12:21,761 --> 00:12:22,978
You paid for it?
233
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:25,455
You illegally downloaded it?
234
00:12:25,575 --> 00:12:27,639
That is well out of order
on the artist!
235
00:12:31,471 --> 00:12:33,314
What's up with him?
Doesn't he speak?
236
00:12:34,517 --> 00:12:36,043
He's from Latvia.
237
00:12:36,871 --> 00:12:38,799
He can't speak a word of English.
238
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,279
How does he get people
to sign up for the charity then?
239
00:12:41,626 --> 00:12:42,719
He uses a knife.
240
00:12:48,621 --> 00:12:51,879
4 THINGS DON WANTS TO DO
TO THESE KIDS
241
00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:54,535
Pathetic!
242
00:12:58,431 --> 00:13:00,021
Download this, bitch!
243
00:13:00,426 --> 00:13:01,327
And you.
244
00:13:04,438 --> 00:13:06,039
Is that felch enough for you?
245
00:13:06,261 --> 00:13:08,658
Naughty! You silly, naughty boy.
246
00:13:08,778 --> 00:13:10,919
I dunno what you're laughing at.
You're next.
247
00:13:18,615 --> 00:13:20,493
Now who's gooch?
248
00:13:25,146 --> 00:13:27,469
- It's well cheap in here, isn't it?
- Yes it is.
249
00:13:27,589 --> 00:13:29,794
See, coming round aren't you? Cool.
250
00:13:31,822 --> 00:13:33,335
Didn't I get any change?
251
00:13:33,455 --> 00:13:36,051
I spent the change on fags.
Hope that's cool?
252
00:13:38,728 --> 00:13:39,755
Thanks, Oddie.
253
00:13:39,875 --> 00:13:41,033
Cheers, Bill.
254
00:13:42,237 --> 00:13:43,282
Pleasure.
255
00:13:44,903 --> 00:13:46,482
Just here on the right, please.
256
00:13:47,807 --> 00:13:51,135
Hey, listen. We're going to this club
tomorrow night. Do you wanna come?
257
00:13:52,577 --> 00:13:54,394
Will those boys be there?
258
00:13:56,010 --> 00:13:58,186
Why don't you and me
make a day of it tomorrow?
259
00:13:58,527 --> 00:14:00,907
You can take me shopping
in the afternoon if you want?
260
00:14:01,230 --> 00:14:03,000
Is that a fun thing to do?
261
00:14:13,708 --> 00:14:14,906
That was gooch.
262
00:14:15,156 --> 00:14:17,400
- Really?
- No, I mean it was nasty?
263
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,281
No, it was felch.
264
00:14:20,891 --> 00:14:23,473
Sorry, I'm trying
to say it was nice!
265
00:14:24,712 --> 00:14:25,897
See your later.
266
00:14:30,851 --> 00:14:33,423
Excuse me, I'm just gonna run
into that shop and get money.
267
00:14:33,543 --> 00:14:34,674
Is that right?
268
00:14:45,099 --> 00:14:46,360
INSUFFICIENT FUNDS.
269
00:14:47,403 --> 00:14:48,448
Bollocks.
270
00:14:53,278 --> 00:14:54,880
It's gotta be worth a try.
271
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,347
One, two, three, four.
272
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:10,674
We're going out
for my birthday, aren't we?
273
00:15:10,794 --> 00:15:12,320
That's the 4th June.
274
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,160
Zero four, zero six.
275
00:15:26,847 --> 00:15:28,491
- What do you reckon?
- Nice.
276
00:15:29,778 --> 00:15:31,809
It's a bit out of my price range.
277
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,227
That's a shame, isn't?
278
00:15:36,005 --> 00:15:37,250
I really want it.
279
00:15:40,938 --> 00:15:41,983
Oh, right.
280
00:15:42,347 --> 00:15:43,416
I'll get it?
281
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:44,653
Thank you!
282
00:15:49,307 --> 00:15:51,902
Dad, can I get this one? Please?
283
00:15:53,059 --> 00:15:54,785
- Okay then.
- Thanks, Dad.
284
00:15:57,388 --> 00:15:59,526
We should get you
some clothes for tonight.
285
00:15:59,931 --> 00:16:01,026
No, thanks.
286
00:16:02,137 --> 00:16:04,533
Go on.
You'd look good in the right stuff.
287
00:16:05,892 --> 00:16:08,440
I cannot bear
trying clothes on in shops.
288
00:16:08,617 --> 00:16:11,920
4 reasons Don hates
trying clothes on in shops
289
00:16:23,036 --> 00:16:24,422
You fat bastard.
290
00:16:30,429 --> 00:16:32,719
How would you like
to pay for this, sir?
291
00:16:33,653 --> 00:16:35,473
Ever seen one of these before?
292
00:16:36,859 --> 00:16:38,432
Like 50 times a day.
293
00:16:40,238 --> 00:16:42,080
That's what I'd like to pay with.
294
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:44,080
Thank you.
295
00:16:44,532 --> 00:16:47,578
So I took Anna back to the house.
And there was Abby.
296
00:16:49,407 --> 00:16:51,110
I mean, I didn't mind.
297
00:16:51,230 --> 00:16:53,640
I'm over Abby, remember? Over her.
298
00:16:54,767 --> 00:16:56,247
- This is Abby.
- Anna.
299
00:16:57,751 --> 00:16:58,754
I'm Anna.
300
00:16:59,148 --> 00:17:00,628
Sorry, what did I say?
301
00:17:02,023 --> 00:17:02,904
Sorry.
302
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,740
- Abby, this is Abby.
- Anna!
303
00:17:07,572 --> 00:17:09,436
Is it cool if I use your room
to get changed?
304
00:17:09,556 --> 00:17:10,705
Course it is.
305
00:17:11,615 --> 00:17:13,616
It's up on the first floor.
And it's the room
306
00:17:13,736 --> 00:17:15,680
with the purple flowers and doilies.
307
00:17:17,017 --> 00:17:18,422
Imagine if it was.
308
00:17:19,610 --> 00:17:20,620
It is.
309
00:17:28,373 --> 00:17:29,406
No Karl?
310
00:17:30,439 --> 00:17:31,440
No Eddie.
311
00:17:31,888 --> 00:17:34,495
Look, I can't help him
turning up all the time.
312
00:17:34,904 --> 00:17:37,839
He's very persistent.
It's actually quite annoying.
313
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,847
He does everything
and asks for nothing in return.
314
00:17:42,184 --> 00:17:45,400
- What a drag.
- You know, he takes it too far.
315
00:17:47,259 --> 00:17:49,572
Don't forget to wash
under your foreskin.
316
00:17:52,379 --> 00:17:53,659
He cares about you.
317
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,702
I'm not used to that.
318
00:17:58,294 --> 00:18:00,337
Are you... going out tonight?
319
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,061
We're going to a club.
320
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:03,981
- Do you wanna come?
- I'm...
321
00:18:04,101 --> 00:18:06,400
I'm seeing Karl tonight.
It's not really his thing.
322
00:18:06,930 --> 00:18:08,093
What a shocker.
323
00:18:09,336 --> 00:18:10,280
Don't be rude.
324
00:18:11,137 --> 00:18:14,175
I like the fact that he isn't into
going out and getting off his head.
325
00:18:14,295 --> 00:18:16,042
- Because?
- Because...
326
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:18,839
he's not a mess
like all my previous boyfriends.
327
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:22,560
When I met Karl, I was going through
some pretty big changes.
328
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:23,728
Puberty?
329
00:18:23,848 --> 00:18:26,720
- I haven't been going out that long.
- The menopause?
330
00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:30,000
I'm not talking
about physical changes, you idiot.
331
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:33,745
I mean, I wanted to grow up
a bit and change my life.
332
00:18:33,865 --> 00:18:36,402
I couldn't keep going out
and getting wasted all the time.
333
00:18:36,522 --> 00:18:39,855
- What you mean, having fun?
- There are other ways to have fun.
334
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,640
Really? Like what?
And don't say bowling.
335
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,280
The thing is. I'm happy.
336
00:18:45,285 --> 00:18:46,295
I am.
337
00:18:47,146 --> 00:18:50,668
But I wouldn't mind going out, letting
my hair down every once in a while.
338
00:18:50,788 --> 00:18:52,303
Do you know what I mean?
339
00:18:53,021 --> 00:18:55,040
How we getting there tonight?
Taxi?
340
00:18:55,841 --> 00:18:57,168
Yeah, if you like.
341
00:18:59,584 --> 00:19:00,973
You look...
342
00:19:02,473 --> 00:19:03,995
- good.
- Thanks.
343
00:19:04,115 --> 00:19:05,653
Go on, get changed.
344
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:11,560
- Do you want a cup of tea?
- You got any alcohol?
345
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,420
I dunno, I'll have a look.
346
00:19:16,334 --> 00:19:18,518
So, you not interested in Don then?
347
00:19:18,976 --> 00:19:21,311
- Sorry?
- Just seems a bit weird.
348
00:19:21,431 --> 00:19:23,382
You live together,
but nothing's happened.
349
00:19:23,801 --> 00:19:26,320
Men and woman can live together
without anything happening.
350
00:19:26,483 --> 00:19:28,692
Everyone says that.
But it's not true.
351
00:19:29,660 --> 00:19:31,720
If I were you,
I'd have boffed him by now.
352
00:19:33,136 --> 00:19:35,990
- All we got is tequila, so...
- Great! Line 'em up.
353
00:19:41,953 --> 00:19:44,031
- There you go.
- Thanks. Want one?
354
00:19:45,827 --> 00:19:46,837
Why not?
355
00:19:53,914 --> 00:19:55,347
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
356
00:19:58,884 --> 00:20:00,105
That's good.
357
00:20:01,225 --> 00:20:03,891
- What are you doing tonight?
- I'm seeing my boyfriend,
358
00:20:04,011 --> 00:20:06,520
so we'll probably just stay in and
watch a film or something.
359
00:20:07,015 --> 00:20:08,015
Boring.
360
00:20:09,885 --> 00:20:11,212
You ready to rock?
361
00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:13,341
You look different.
362
00:20:13,596 --> 00:20:15,193
It's all thanks to Anna.
363
00:20:24,693 --> 00:20:25,703
Tequila.
364
00:20:26,843 --> 00:20:27,853
Nice!
365
00:20:27,973 --> 00:20:30,120
- Right, shall we do this thing?
- Yeah.
366
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:31,503
Let me get my bag.
367
00:20:31,749 --> 00:20:33,651
- See your later.
- Bye.
368
00:20:48,187 --> 00:20:50,645
- What do you want?
- I'll have a beer!
369
00:20:52,068 --> 00:20:53,112
Cool, eh?
370
00:20:53,348 --> 00:20:54,652
- What?
- Cool?
371
00:20:55,093 --> 00:20:56,819
Thanks! I know I am, yeah.
372
00:20:57,292 --> 00:20:58,877
You're pretty cool too!
373
00:21:03,957 --> 00:21:06,720
Sorry Bill. Couldn't really
afford to get rounds in.
374
00:21:07,957 --> 00:21:08,967
Tune!
375
00:21:37,503 --> 00:21:38,701
All right, Bill?
376
00:21:40,309 --> 00:21:41,600
No. I'm sober.
377
00:21:41,897 --> 00:21:44,240
I'm off my head!
Shall we get some gack?
378
00:21:44,816 --> 00:21:46,504
- Really?
- Yeah, why not?
379
00:21:46,624 --> 00:21:47,945
You'll pay, right?
380
00:21:48,777 --> 00:21:49,787
Depends.
381
00:21:50,502 --> 00:21:52,334
Drug dealers take credit cards?
382
00:21:53,597 --> 00:21:56,240
- But there's a cash point in the club.
- Really?
383
00:21:57,029 --> 00:21:59,377
Is there a Post Office here,
as well?
384
00:22:02,292 --> 00:22:03,384
Here you are.
385
00:22:04,147 --> 00:22:05,556
4th of June.
386
00:22:16,104 --> 00:22:19,666
- It's loud, isn't it?
- Relax. We're here to have a laugh.
387
00:22:19,786 --> 00:22:21,267
I'm having a... laugh.
388
00:22:22,972 --> 00:22:24,627
Wake up, granddad.
389
00:22:24,886 --> 00:22:27,340
- Sorry.
- Come on, let's dance.
390
00:22:27,460 --> 00:22:28,846
I don't do dance.
391
00:22:28,966 --> 00:22:30,187
Yeah, you do.
392
00:22:46,702 --> 00:22:47,912
I like this one.
393
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,960
8 dance moves Don shouldn't do
394
00:23:33,380 --> 00:23:37,380
Just as I'd impressed Anna with my
dance shapes, Abby suddenly appeared...
395
00:23:37,907 --> 00:23:40,490
They were quite some moves
you were pulling.
396
00:23:41,746 --> 00:23:43,284
... looking stunning.
397
00:23:43,907 --> 00:23:45,666
What made you decide to come here?
398
00:23:45,786 --> 00:23:49,096
I saw you leaving the house
and thought, "I wanna go out too".
399
00:23:49,363 --> 00:23:51,946
How you getting on
with what's her name?
400
00:23:52,449 --> 00:23:53,452
Good.
401
00:23:54,011 --> 00:23:55,440
I'm well in there.
402
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:03,960
- Drinks?
- Yeah!
403
00:24:04,458 --> 00:24:06,665
- Get six Sam Buca's.
- Six?
404
00:24:07,786 --> 00:24:08,801
Don't worry.
405
00:24:08,921 --> 00:24:10,560
Two of those are for Karl.
406
00:24:15,567 --> 00:24:16,633
By the way,
407
00:24:16,753 --> 00:24:19,028
can I get my credit card
back off you?
408
00:24:19,148 --> 00:24:20,120
Say what?
409
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,680
My credit card. I need it back.
410
00:24:24,017 --> 00:24:25,600
I gave it back to you.
411
00:24:25,970 --> 00:24:27,696
- When?
- Straightaway.
412
00:24:27,975 --> 00:24:29,443
Don't you remember?
413
00:24:29,981 --> 00:24:33,760
You made me feel small, by doing
all that "thanks Karl bull crap".
414
00:24:34,216 --> 00:24:38,607
And then... I took your details,
we shook hands, I gave it back to you.
415
00:24:38,983 --> 00:24:41,560
I think you put it
in the third groove of your wallet.
416
00:24:42,923 --> 00:24:44,156
Right. Sorry.
417
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,176
I hope I haven't lost it then.
418
00:24:49,985 --> 00:24:51,641
- There you go.
- Two?
419
00:24:52,456 --> 00:24:55,944
Scared? Yeah, I can see why.
Look at them, they're massive.
420
00:24:56,064 --> 00:24:59,036
Big huge Samuel Buca's. Oh, don't.
421
00:25:02,402 --> 00:25:03,411
Nice one.
422
00:25:04,201 --> 00:25:05,202
Two more.
423
00:25:05,807 --> 00:25:06,817
Right.
424
00:25:17,437 --> 00:25:18,840
What are you boys up to?
425
00:25:19,381 --> 00:25:21,000
Showing each other your pubes?
426
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:22,454
It's Bill Oddie!
427
00:25:23,013 --> 00:25:25,453
Don't you think that joke's wearing
a bit thin now?
428
00:25:25,573 --> 00:25:26,760
What, like your hair?
429
00:25:27,293 --> 00:25:28,855
How could you say that?
430
00:25:29,976 --> 00:25:31,432
Shame about Anna, eh?
431
00:25:32,386 --> 00:25:35,685
- What do you mean?
- She got off with that other fella.
432
00:25:37,067 --> 00:25:39,384
- See you around, Bill.
- Laters, Oddie.
433
00:25:48,608 --> 00:25:49,618
What?
434
00:25:49,738 --> 00:25:51,720
Probably I think it for the best.
435
00:25:52,025 --> 00:25:53,924
She was much too young for you.
436
00:25:54,147 --> 00:25:58,398
Just looking at you, it is clear that
you have many, many personality issues.
437
00:25:59,295 --> 00:26:02,160
Why else would you hang out
with people so much younger than you?
438
00:26:04,686 --> 00:26:07,116
What did he know? I'm a cool dude.
439
00:26:08,176 --> 00:26:10,207
Do people still say cool dude?
440
00:26:16,809 --> 00:26:18,183
Thank you so much.
441
00:26:21,253 --> 00:26:23,977
If only you puked up
and ate your own vomit.
442
00:26:27,076 --> 00:26:28,085
That way.
443
00:26:32,351 --> 00:26:34,887
Hang on.
Let's see if he does it again.
444
00:26:40,352 --> 00:26:41,362
Go on.
445
00:26:41,662 --> 00:26:44,075
Go up the stairs.
I'll be up in a minute.
446
00:26:46,587 --> 00:26:49,196
How many Sam Buca's
have you given him?
447
00:26:49,316 --> 00:26:50,326
Six.
448
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:52,598
And six tequilas.
449
00:26:53,176 --> 00:26:54,440
And six absinthes.
450
00:26:55,798 --> 00:26:57,764
I'm telling you, he's stubborn.
All you gotta do
451
00:26:57,884 --> 00:26:59,560
is dare him to drink, he'll do it.
452
00:27:00,100 --> 00:27:01,708
He's certainly stubborn.
453
00:27:03,418 --> 00:27:05,637
It was really good
seeing you tonight.
454
00:27:06,277 --> 00:27:08,467
We had fun. We should do it again.
455
00:27:09,171 --> 00:27:11,320
And next time without him.
456
00:27:13,790 --> 00:27:14,790
Why?
457
00:27:15,396 --> 00:27:16,999
It's not really his thing.
458
00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:19,205
I wanna go out, have a laugh,
get shit-faced with you
459
00:27:19,325 --> 00:27:21,080
and not have to baby-sit him.
460
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,132
I'm your man. Come here.
461
00:27:24,027 --> 00:27:27,126
Just call me up
and we'll get shit-faced together.
462
00:27:27,246 --> 00:27:28,790
- Deal.
- Deal.
463
00:27:28,910 --> 00:27:29,920
Night.
464
00:27:38,741 --> 00:27:40,385
Did that just happen?
465
00:27:40,505 --> 00:27:42,238
Maybe I should have made a move.
466
00:27:42,358 --> 00:27:44,500
But then maybe she wouldn't
have responded.
467
00:27:44,620 --> 00:27:46,749
God, I shouldn't have drunk
all those tequilas.
468
00:27:46,869 --> 00:27:48,031
I'm so dru...
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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