All language subtitles for Good.Thief

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

- All right.
- All right, man.

When I get the hose
into the tank,

you hit the switch.

Here, man.

- All right. Hit that shit.
- All right. For sure.

Ah, damn.

Yo, we're gonna be selling this,
top notch cooking oil

to every mom-and-pop joint
for the next six months.

Pretty damn good, huh?

Yeah, you think
it's gonna last that long?

- Oh, shit. The cops.
- Oh, shit.

- We're good.
- ...not even. We're good.

Whoo. Man, that's close.

Too late to get my heart
jumping like that.

Let's hurry up and shit.

Are we almost done?

Come on, man. We've gotta
get the fuck out of there, man.

You got it?

- Yeah, one more time.
- All right.

Go ahead. Go ahead.

Shit, it's cold.

- Yo, man, what hell you doing?
- What the fuck?

Motherfucker. Come on.

Come on, man. I'm not gonna
go to jail tonight.

Come on, baby, be good to Daddy.

Can you steal a Tesla next time?
Shit.

Hey, we just moved into
restaurant distribution, baby,

that's what's up.

Yeah.

That was too close
for my comfort.

Let's celebrate
when we get home, man.

He's just doing his job.
We didn't do nothing.

Just drive.

He's getting behind us,
isn't he?

Pull over to the right

and shut off your vehicle.

Oh, shit.

Come on.

Come on. Haul ass, man.

- Whoa, whoa.
- Shit.

Well, I'm glad
you're having fun.

Whoa, shit.

Come on, man. It's gonna blow.

Hurry!

Danny. You all right?
Come on, man.

Come on, man. Good.

Oh, shit. Here come the police.
Come on.

Let's go!

Damn.

Let's get the fuck out of here.

You're a saint, man. Thank you.

All right, man. I gotta
get home to Sara. So.

Whoa. Where you going?
Night's still young.

What's your problem, man?

The night's always young.
For you.

Oh, you say that
like it's a bad thing too.

"And all our yesterdays

have lighted fools
the way to dusty death.

Out, out, brief candle."

Au revoir.

Ah.

Where's the money?
You got the money?

I've got some money.

The chain
of missing prostitutes continue,

which lead us to believe
it's the same killer.

More news coming.

This just in.
Detroit police report

that another young lady
has been reported missing.

Jesus Christ, Johnny. You smell
like a dumpster's truck

or some cheap-ass party store.

- You look like shit too.
- Well.

More so than usual.

What you waiting for?
An engraved invitation?

I didn't recognize
the new chariot we had tonight.

Yeah.

It's a Blue Stella.

Hey,
real Prince Charming shit, huh?

Uh-huh.

- Lucky me, huh?
- Move that sweet ass.

You watched Andrea and Renee?

No skimming?

They're good girls.

Yes, I watched them like a hawk
just like you taught me.

It's all there.

Danny.

- You like that?
- Yes.

Yeah, take it, baby.

- Oh, baby.
- Mm-hmm.

You still got it.

I know I do.

Girls keep disappearing.

Just watch yourself.

I am always...

...careful.

Promise.

I really did get you something.

- Shut up.
- Yeah.

Like you say,
you're Danny's girl.

So, you know, this is...

Like you say,
you're Danny's girl.

What is this?

You're my main girl.

It's official now. That's it.

So, how many
other girls you got?

What? Damn, girl.
"Main" means one. Fuck.

- My lucky Penny. Okay?
- Mm-hmm.

My main girl.

Let's keep it that way.

I'm just messing with you, okay?

I like it. It's nice.

Plus, it's perfect timing.

- Timing?
- Mm-hmm.

So, I'm your main girl now,
right?

- Your lucky Penny?
- Mm-hmm.

Then you should listen
to my idea for your next job.

Hey, I'm still
running that show.

I know. Listen, but...

Grease isn't really big time.

- You know?
- Big time?

That grease would've been
turned into top-notch,

high-quality cooking oil.

With a little, you know,
hocus-pocus,

- what we call repackaging.
- Okay. Listen. Listen.

There's this new place
on 4th Street.

It's called "Honest Abe's
Pawn Shop."

All the girls go there.
If they get a new watch

- they take it...
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.

My main girl, now yeah,
but, you know, rules are rules.

No unnecessary details.

You get popped,
it's likely a cop

looking for a free knob job.
Fucking freeloaders.

I'm the one providing
the goddamned

social service selling, honey.

I know, baby, I know,
but listen.

Anna's saying
it pays good money.

And he's swimming in cash.
He's got gold,

jewelry, coins.

And I think
that you should investigate.

This place?

It's new?

Yeah. It's, like,
three or four months old.

It's new.

Okay.

Okay, baby.

Let's check it out.

I guess
you're Honest Abe.

That's right.

Honest Abe.

I run a clean, honest shop.

Ain't that
like a contradiction?

Contradiction in terms.

Contradiction?

Yeah, you know, like...

One-man team.

Military intelligence.

Business ethics.

It's a good one, huh?

The ho with the golden heart.

Yeah, it's a bit long
and cynical, but, you know.

You get the point?

Wearing tight slacks.

Oh, and,

the biggest
open secret of them all,

the honest pawn broker.

What?

I run a clean, honest shop.

Yeah. Clean,

honest shop.

Plenty of great stuff in here.

Forget it.

Gimme the flashlight.

No, to the left. It's high beam.

Here you go. It's a high beam.

- Like you said.
- Yeah, I know it is.

High fucking beam.

Brighter, the better.

Now then.

That's enough, young fella.

I'm looking for

one honest man.

Okay. I'll be right back
with your change.

Um.

Your change?

What the fuck, man?

You got a problem?

I'm looking for someone.

You ain't him.

You're damn right.

What's his problem?

He's looking for one honest man.

Good fucking luck.

Tara? Need you to cover for me.

You okay, Danny?

You seem...

different.

The flashlight.

Looking for an honest man?

Searching for something.

I don't know. Yeah.

And honest man.

Everyone's got an aura.

- An aura?
- Exactly.

This flashlight picks it up,
it's got

tripped-out, highly sensitive,
multi-pixelated,

hair-trigger sensors with a mix

of digital and analog,
I call it...

Call it digilog.

Digilog?

You sure you're okay?

Hi, there.
Can I help you with anything?

Yeah. Hello.

My grandmother's ring.

She gave it to me.

It's a family heirloom.

- Family is important.
- Mm-hmm.

If you're interested in selling,
I need you to sign.

You have a pen?

Thank you.

All right. Hold on. Hold on.

- This is a raid!
- Oh, fuck.

Oh, goddammit.

Thanks for giving me
a heart attack. I just woke up.

What, like Agent Smith and shit.

- Mm-hmm.
- What're you looking for?

One honest man.
And I'm wasting my time here.

One honest man. Seriously?

All right. Whatever.

Here, give me
a cup of coffee, will you?

Get your own damn coffee.

You know I got to be
your personal PBS,

but look, seriously though, man.

Are you sure you're thinking
these jobs through?

Exactly why I stopped by.
I got something to show you.

Sweetie,
I can only give you $50.

For this?

- Really.
- Really?

It's very pretty,
it's just not very valuable.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Well, that went well.

What's up, Penny?
Nice to see you.

So, he offered me 50 bucks.

Fifty bucks?

- All right.
- Mm-hmm.

There you go. It's yours now.

You hear that, Johnny?

Honest Abe.

Being a dealer
in stolen goods himself

ain't reporting shit
to the cops.

He's the perfect victim.
You feel me?

Yeah. I don't know, man.

Baseball cards?

I feel like I'm stealing
my kid brother's piggy bank.

I've stolen piggy banks.
Those 30 cent pieces add up.

Anything, anything, Johnny.

I don't care
if it's dental floss

or toothpicks
or fucking swizzle sticks.

Swizzle sticks?

All right.

Yeah, damn right,
swizzle sticks.

Ear swabs.
Did I mention ear swabs?

I've sold enough ear swabs

to put you up
in the Ritz Carlton

for a fucking month.

Why, you own the goddamn road?

Whoa. Fuck.

Yeah.

You know, I've been trying
to piece it together.

Piece it together?

Bingo. All the missing girls.

You know,

that's all they have.

Look at that guy.
Could be anybody.

Hell, could be you.

Then again,

it could be me.

Pathetic.

Yeah, I'm just passing through.

Bingo. The guy?

The guy in the sketch?
That's what he's doing.

Just passing through.

You know, semi-transient,

yet with means
and assets and money.

Another way I look at it?

Find that guy,

you find somebody who, you know,

when he comes around, he,

makes the girls disappear.

Then when he disappears, then
the girls stop disappearing.

Till he pops back up
in another town.

You know, it's all,
it's all cycle.

That's the guy.

Good theory.

You should tell the authorities.

I have.

You know, you find this pattern

and you find the guy,

but you know, they look at me
like I'm nuts.

They come around here
and sniff around

like it's some
kind of graveyard, you know.

It's highly demeaning.

And this, this thing.
Something else, huh?

Yeah.

Something else. Yeah.

You have papers
on that 80 Camaro out there?

Yeah, I got paper enough
to sell what you want off of it,

but it's a shell. It's junk.

Yeah, I know where I'm at.
Thanks.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

I actually had to dispose
of an 80 Camaro recently.

Dispose?

Exigent circumstances
required it.

All right. Yeah,
I get what you mean. Of course.

Yes, sir. I got it.

I think.

Wheels.
A car that moves.

Reliable

vehicle

- required.
- Hello, ladies.

Oh.

Hey, Danny.

- Danny. Hey!
- Hey, how's it going?

Yeah. How many bullies
you sent home

crying to their mamas
this school year?

Oh, ask me how many

I haven't and I'm already done.

You still reading this stuff?

I thought you might've graduated
to the romance section.

Fuck off, Danny,
I'm a collector.

Comics and cards, all right.
Romance is for pussies.

I love this kid.

Taylor. Time for homework.

Yeah, go.

What a mouth.

I gotta get ready for work.

- I'm running a little late.
- Okay.

Bingo.

They're here. Yes, sir.

Yeah.

How much you want for it?

Well,
as you're well aware,

that's a mighty fine automobile
out there. So, you know.

- Make it... a hundred?
- Two.

Yeah, bingo.

That'll work.

Keep it.

Craigslist? We'll get a hit.

An honest getaway driver

- that reads.
- The triple threat.

Yeah.

What of it?

- All right.
- Hey.

We'll find him.

Yeah.

Hey, it was good thinking,
that pawn shop.

We hit it,

lay low,
and get you off the streets.

What do you think?

I think that sounds perfect.

Dreamy.

- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

Let me see. $46, okay?

What are we talking about?

Trading cards.

Baseball cards, Felix.

Right, right.
You sure about those cards.

I'm talking 1910
tobacco pack type cards.

The Georgia Peach,
meanest player ever.

And 1930s mint condition
Babe Ruths

as well as Lou Gehrigs
and Cy Youngs.

Cy fucking Young.
Don't forget Cy Young.

I don't even think
he knows what he's got.

He doesn't, baby.

Look.

If you're not
gonna lick my asshole,

then jerk me off.

Or I'll just kill you.

It's not fucking funny.

It's a joke. Come on.

A joke, you know.

- A joke.
- Fuck off.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on over here. There we go.

Don't touch my hair.

Oh, yeah.

All right.

Dammit.

Okay. That's what he's got?

I could flip them
for, like, 30% of book.

Dollar signs, Felix,
dollar signs.

Like 150k, easy.

Honest?

Honest.

Man, you look familiar. Carl?

Nice car.

I sure hope you drive better
than you did the last time.

- I got shit to do.
- Hey, hey, lighten up.

Take it easy. Look.

Let's just take
a slow drive, Carl.

If you're still interested
after I explain the, nature

of the driving,

I'll go to step two.
What do you say?

Get in the car.

My man.

You've been there once.
You're a regular.

Just check for the CCTV.

- The gun.
- Mm-hmm.

And all the regular.

- I will.
- All right.

All right, MacGyver.

Take a right
at this corner here.

You can go all the way down
and you'll see a donut shop.

AJ's Donuts.

Pull in there.

Shakespeare.

- Who the fuck are you?
- Hmm.

Better question.

Who are you?

Who are you?

You're about to find out.

Hello?

Anybody here?

Back so soon, Penny?

How do you know my name?

Sweetheart,
you've written it down

a half-dozen times
in the last week.

Not today.

Let's take a look.

All right. Just sit tight.

You can read the book,
but don't lose my spot.

Keep her running.

Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
Please, don't shoot.

I'll give you whatever you want.
Please, take it, take it.

Dial 911!

Drive!

Fake.

- No.
- It's a fake, sweetie.

There's a lot
of knock-offs out there.

Can you look again?

Sure, but...

It's really a fake.

You work with those girls
couple of blocks up, right?

- Mm-hmm.
- Day and night?

That's no place
for a girl like you.

You're just a kid.

I can take care of myself.

- Until you can't.
- Yeah.

And tell your boyfriend

he's been loitering outside
an awful lot this week.

I don't like it.

It makes me nervous.

Fucking sims never had a chance.

All right, all right,
all right, all right.

Close call, huh?

I mean, wow.

Yo, did we just boost
a fucking donut shop?

Not just any donuts.

AJ's Donuts.

Best in the deep.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

- Ooh, shit.
- So where did you meet, um,

Mr. Hot Rod Fuck You guy again?

Carl. His name is Carl.

And I met him at the bus stop.

He reads a bit.

Might even be that triple threat

that you talked about.

Speaking of which.

- That's you.
- Oh, yeah.

- My kind of girl.
- Coffee?

Good.

Carlson.

Johnny took you on a little tour
of our lovely little city here

and you did well, otherwise
you wouldn't be here. But.

Do you lose your cool
when it looks like

you're totally boxed in?

There's no such thing

as being boxed in.

And what the fuck is that thing?

Yeah, he's looking
for one honest man or whatever.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I remember. "Honest."

I thought
that was a fucking joke.

Yeah, me too.

But, now that you're here.

Step three.
Third and final step.

Slightest change
in body temperature,

heartbeat, sweat,

and you're busted, Carl. Got it?

It's physics. Nuclear physics,
fiber optics, and so forth.

- Physics?
- Exactly.

Physics. Nuclear
fucking physics, speed racer.

Everything and everyone
has an aura.

And this?

It senses it.

And yours is fucked up, Carl.

It's exceedingly fucked up.

Hmm.

I appreciate the...

searing recommendation.

Hey, it's the flashlight.

I'm just the guy
reading the x-ray.

So I got a fucked up aura.

Okay.

Look.

If you need a getaway driver,

I'm right fucking here.

I'm gonna hit the head.

Maybe I'll work on that,
that fucked up aura.

Take more than a car wash.

Hey, stuntman.

What do you think, Shakespeare?

Hey, man.

We're looking
for a getaway driver.

Yeah, I'm sure.

- Should've seen him.
- Yeah, but is he honest?

Well, unfortunately, I left
my own magic flashlight at home.

Okay. Okay, Johnny.
Let's review one more time.

Mr. Honest Abe
with the fucked up comb-over

has at least half a mil
in baseball cards.

With one CCTV

and no security.
Penny cased the joint.

We're in, we're out.

500k in baseball...

Baseball cards?

Not just any
baseball cards, Johnny.

1910 tobacco pack type cards.

1930 mint-condition Babe Ruths.

Lou Gehrig, the Iron Man, right?

Lou fucking Gehrig. Oh.
And Cy Young.

Cy fucking Young.
I almost forgot Cy Young.

Yeah, no, 500k.

No doubt, easy. And our take,

150k. I already talked to Felix.

Are you shitting me?

Okay, man, shit, let's do this.

- That's my partner.
- He's gonna come through, man.

- I believe in you.
- All right.

Okay. Okay. So I'm thinking,

you know, just thinking,

since Mr. Fuck You guy
has your vote,

I'm gonna overlook
his fucked up aura.

Maybe he can have
a fucked up aura

and still be honest.

They're not mutually exclusive.

Just like a guy
with a limp may steal.

Outrun the wind, baby.

Can I get you anything else?

No, baby, that's it.
We're about ready to go.

- See you later at home.
- All right, baby.

Perfect timing.

- Going somewhere?
- Yeah.

Yeah.
And you're driving, speed racer.

Another
young lady has been

reported missing. A special
task force has been assembled.

It takes some cocksucker.

Chill the fuck out.

See this shit?

He's in a hurry. So what?

Pedestrians
got the right of way.

It's fucking basic decency.
Get this motherfucker, Carl.

Yeah, Mr. Death Wish,
driving over pedestrians,

trying to lose us.

Man. Get this guy.

Fuck that.

- Let's go.
- What's up, Timberlake?

- You want some?
- Oh, ball player, huh?

Me too.

Pedestrians
got the right of way.

- Get the fuck off me.
- Pedestrians!

Learn the fucking rules.

What are you?
Some sort of serial killer?

Maybe. Most likely.

Pedestrians got the right of way
in this town, fuckface.

It's a nice bat though.

Now, let's go.

All right.
You keep her running, Carl.

In and out, fast.

Johnny, let's go.

You got it.

Make it fast.

Get out here.

Out front.

Let's go.

Move it, motherfucker.

Get your honest ass over here.

Get 'em all.

I just opened.

There's only $50
in the register.

Then I'll take it.

No.

Come on, Shakespeare.

No.

My father collected those.

Those cards are my babies.

Yeah, well, I admire
your father's dedication.

I got 'em all. Let's go.

Fuck.

What are we? Cop magnets?

Please give me back
my baseball cards.

Bitch, shut the fuck up.

Take anything!

- Take anything.
- Shut the fuck up.

They belonged to my daddy.

Come on, please.

- Please.
- All right. Let's go. Let's go.

Hey, didn't we get a report
about a stolen black Camaro?

Sure did.

Yep, let's go.

What the fuck
is he talking about?

- Keep the mask on.
- What's up with that?

Good job, though. For real.

Cops right up on us.

Over baseball cards?

Somebody shoot me.

That life is short.

Shame will be too long.

They're vintage baseball cards.

Calm down there, Shakespeare.
They're vintage baseball cards.

Big difference.

Well, the plates are legit.

Let's check 'em out.

There's a black 80 Camaro.

What are the odds?

Just a routine patrol, fellows.

Routine patrol.
Stay calm. Stay cool.

Pull over to the right
and shut off your vehicle.

Here we go again.

We are jinxed, Danny.
We are jinxed!

Somebody shoot me.

Do your thing, speed racer.

Go, go, go, go!

Don't lose him, don't lose him.

Move! Get out of the car!

You're out.

Might wanna watch your eyes.

Goddammit, I liked that car.

Your cut will get you
a new car, Carl.

Daddy.

Sweetie. Sweetie. Penny.

Sweet Penny.

You saved our ass there.

Guess that means I own it.

He said he owns your ass.

Yeah, you try and say
one nice thing to the guy.

Forget him. Look.

I'm holding on to the cards
until you touch base with Felix.

Which you're about to do.

Tomorrow.

Tonight...

I celebrate with my lady.

I know that's right.
See you, brother.

Let's take these shoes off
for you.

Hmm.

Sweet Penny.

You're all wrapped up
like a gift,

Sweet Penny, huh?

Smile pretty.

You're going
in the hall of fame.

Pretty Penny.

Why did you lie to me?

Pretty Penny.

Why did you do this, friend?

Where am I?

You're... in big trouble.

You're in my hall of fame

and that's not
a good place to be.

Penny, baby.

Where you at?
I checked in with the girls,

they didn't know where you were.

Fucking worked.
I-It worked, like...

Get your ass here.
Call me back. We're going...

My shut up machine.

Hmm. Hmm.

Hmm.

Motherfucker!

No!

Oh. Oh.

Help!

Help!

Penny,

answer your damn fucking phone.

What the fuck?
Where the fuck are you?

Where am I?

Abe's honest shop.

Wake up, sweetie.

Why did you make me
push you into that wall?

Huh?

Why didn't you cooperate
with Honest Abe?

There you go.

Open those pretty eyes.

Open those pretty eyes,
pretty Penny.

Check this bat out, Penny.

This is the bat Babe Ruth used

when he hit his famous
called shot in 1932.

He stepped up to the plate,

pointed it dead center field,

and next pitch, bam!

Air mail.

My father loved the Babe.

Wake up, sweetie.

You don't wanna miss
any of this baseball history.

I thought you could
take care of yourself.

Huh?

But now? Now you get to join
my private collection.

My own personal hall of fame.

Yeah.

Do you know why?

Do you know why you get to join
my personal hall of fame?

'Cause you and your boyfriend
stole my cards!

My daddy's cards.

Don't play games with me, bitch!

You're built just like Thompson.

Lean, sinewy.

A born ball player.

You would've made the majors.

We both know it.

Don't we?

But my bitch mother
wore you down.

Get a job.

Get a job.

I'll be damned
if I'm standing there

like some loser fucking
wannabe ball player.

I know, Daddy, I know.

You would've made the majors.

We both know it.

But she sucked the life
out of you.

With that vicious fucking
dung of earth.

But don't worry, Daddy.

I've been
shutting that bitch up,

permanently!

Went like clockwork.

- Clockwork?
- Mm-hmm.

I gotta take a shower now. Hey!

- Don't touch that.
- Bitch.

Anyway. Yes.

One, two weeks tops.

And you get to take a break
and focus for real.

Studying.

No more studying.

You're going out.

I'm serious.

- For real?
- Yes. Real, for real.

Taylor.

Dinner's in the kitchen.

- Help yourself.
- Mm-hmm.

Mind your manners.

So aggressive. What's gotten
into you? What's up?

- What you want?
- Take your pants off.

Make me take my pants off.

- Damn. Why... Shit.
- Take your pants off.

What's gotten into you?
What's up?

Damn, girl.
What's gotten into you?

No, we ain't gonna do nothing.
Let's just go cuddle. I'm good.

Wait a minute.

Take your wig off.

You don't need it.

You're beautiful, baby.

There's my girl.

Let me spank your ass.

What?

Let me spank your ass.

- All right. Come on.
- Wanna get the Crisco?

- No. Come on.
- You like cooking oil here?

Now you gotta...

See this spot right here?

That's Tiffany.

- Tiffany?
- Yeah, that's right.

Tiffany. Uh-huh.

Tiffany.

And this spot right here?

This was Emily.

Little, sweet Emily.

And this spot right here?

This is Diane.

Sweet, little, naive Diane.

Kind of like you, Penny.

You said we can go home.

You can go home.

Straight to hell!

Unless...

Unless what?

Unless,
unless I get my cards back.

My daddy's cards.

I... I don't know anything
about those cards.

Don't play games with me, bitch!

Please.

I'm nobody, mister, I'm nobody.

Please don't kill me.

Felix. Felix.

Making me nervous.

Sorry.

Delayed by this asshole
trying to sell me

a bum transistor radio
and some binoculars.

Heard you ran into
a little trouble.

Ah, nothing major.

And the cards?

Oh, beautiful.

Oh, wow.

Man, oh man, oh man.

Wow. You know,
I'm still surprised

you found a collection like this
all in one spot.

Good job, Danny.

As always.

Fifteen thousand.

Do you mean 150,000?

- 'Cause that was our deal.
- Not no more.

When you rob from a guy

that turns out
to be certifiable,

all prior deals
become null and void.

A law school grad
taught me that.

Would you like a menu?

No need.
I always know what I want.

Okay. What can I get for you?

Spaghetti with meatballs.

Extra meatballs.

Double order garlic bread.

Salad, extra onions.

Italian dressing, heavy.
And coffee. Black.

- Okay.
- Aren't you...

Aren't you gonna
order something?

No, just coffee.

Okay. That'll be right up.

You know, lately when I look
at you, it's like I think

a famine's gripped the nation
or something, huh?

You know, when I look at you
I think I know who caused it.

Touché, Danny, touché. Huh.

What's with this
"null and void" bullshit?

Your pawn broker,

Honest Abe,

he's out there, man.

I mean, wacko.

I mean,
like off the reservation.

Over the rainbow, man.

I don't do crazy. All right?

Can't even believe
I'm offering 15k for this.

You met

with Abe.

Get this.

The cards?

They were a gift
from his father.

Huh?

Here's the best part.
They weren't even for sale.

All right? Yeah.

See, Abe says
they're irreplaceable.

It's as if you stole
the Holy Grail, Danny.

All right?

Naturally, I don't get it,
you know.

So I say to Abe,
"Why? Why, Abe?"

"Why would you put something
that you cherish

in a fucking pawn shop?"

What did he say?

He likes looking at 'em!

Fucking hey, I should, ooh.

Boy, you know
how to pick 'em, Danny.

No telling how long
I've got to sit on these cards

to safely move them. See? Huh?

Time.

Time is money, Danny. Huh?

Here we go.

Anything else for you gentlemen?

- It's good for now, eh.
- More coffee?

No, thanks.

What, I got to vouch
for the mental health

of every punk I boost now?
New rule?

Rough job.

Being a thief.

What's with the new toy, Danny?

I'm looking for someone
and you're not him.

Good. Can I get back
to eating now?

Wha... You kill somebody lately

or what? Like what?
You can't sleep?

Something eating
at your conscience,

as small as it is?
Why are you giving me

such a hard time?

No more bullshit
about Honest Abe

the psychopathic pawn broker
with a fucked up comb-over.

I'm not buying it, okay?

You still don't know
half of it, do you?

That is one fucked up
comb-over though.

I'll give you that.

You know,

you know, sleep,

sleep knits up
the raveled sleeve of care.

- Huh, Felix?
- Danny.

Sleep knits up
the raveled sleeve of care.

It's Shakespeare.

Old Billy Shakes.

Willy the Shakespeare.

Wow.

All right. I see.

So, to answer your question.

No.

I haven't killed anyone, Danny.

Not lately.

Glad we cleared that up.

Abe did give me a message to...

pass along to you.

Seems that you and I
are at an impasse.

So...

You give Abe back his cards,

he's willing
to let the whole thing slide.

I'll give 'em back. What am I,
a charitable organization?

Suddenly I've lost my appetite.

Figure it out, huh?

Where the fuck are you?

Where the fuck are you,
motherfucker?

Abe!

Abe!

Come out, you fucker!

Hey, buddy!

Get the fuck out here,
you sick motherfucker!

You fucking...

Come on.

Johnny. Johnny.

Johnny, it's bad.

It's bad.

It's bad.

No, Felix. Felix snitched,
the motherfucker.

He snitched, the motherfucker.

I came here to fucking kill him.

I'm gonna fucking kill him
the way he killed...

He killed...

He killed Penny!

- Hey, Danny. What's up?
- Hey, little boy.

This just in.
Detroit police report

that another young lady
has been reported missing.

A special task force has been...

- Where's Sara?
- She's working.

But I told her to be careful.

All right.
Here's what I need you to do.

We'll be back in a bit.

Stay in the house, doors locked.

Don't answer for anybody,
except me,

Danny, or Sara. Okay?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Okay, wait.
What the fuck is going on?

There's no time for that.

- Gonna need a ride.
- Check.

- You're a saint, man. Thank you.
- Need a ride?

This is a really
creepy place.

This way.

Yeah, this guy
does look like a creep.

Holy fuck.

Yeah, wish I would've
stayed in the car.

Are those tongues?

- Oh, my God.
- Jesus.

Yo.

You guys wanna check this out?

"In the event
of the natural death

of Geraldine Gooch,
beneficiary Abraham Emil Gooch

shall receive $2,500,000."

I don't think
you should see this, man.

I'm sorry, man.

Yeah, we should go.

Shit.

That's his girl.

Come on, man. You all right?

Oh, shit.

Cool, man.

I know this is a lot
to be taking in...

Shut the fuck up.

Warm that up for you, sir?

Warm, I'd like that.

Thank you, darling.

No problem.

You might wanna, you know...

Invest in some strong mouthwash?

Oh, it's the Girl Scouts
of America.

You guys selling cookies
in the neighborhood today?

- Something off about him, huh?
- Definitely not honest.

Come on, huh? I gotta work
in this neighborhood too.

Honest Abe
is a scary fucking guy.

Scary? I'll tell you
what's scary.

Some sick fuck eating lunch

with your girl's tongue
in his fucking lap!

Come on!
Man's still gotta eat, huh?

What the fuck? Come on, man.

Jesus Christ. Come on.

Hey, come on. What the fuck?

Come on, come on, come on.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

- Come on. We can work this out.
- C'mon. Let's go. Move it.

We can work this out. Come on.

Can't you do something here?
Wanna jump in?

- Just the driver, pal.
- Come on!

- Look. Let's go back to the bar.
- Where the fuck is he?

Look. I'll buy you guys
some drinks.

Let's go back to the bar
and talk about it. Come on!

This cowboy
don't know nothing, huh?

Fucked if I know.
The guy's fucking crazy. Why?

Fucked if you don't know, Felix?

- Come on.
- Fucked if you don't know?

To be or not to be.

Whether it is nobler
in the mind to suffer

the slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune.

What the fuck does it mean?
What does it mean? What?

Translation: bad fucking luck.

Otherwise known as life.
Right, Felix?

Maybe I just put a bullet
in your fucking sick head.

Come on. Come on.

Come on, man. Look.
I can put together

a fucking deal for you.
All right, man.

I swear to God.
We've been friends

for a long fucking time, man.
Come on.

But give me a little time.

I'll put together a deal
that's fucking awesome.

No, no, no. It'll be beautiful.

We could be friends again.
Come on.

- Let's just talk this over.
- Get down. Get down.

- Let's just talk this over.
- Get down.

- Come on. Come on.
- Get down.

- Fuck!
- That jog your memory any?

Huh, Felix?

- Huh?
- Fuck!

Now you know where
the next one's going, Felix?

To be or not to be.
Right, Felix, huh?

- Oh, fuck.
- Answer it.

Answer it!

Hey, Abe.

Hey.

Can you still get
to those punks

who stole my cards?

Yeah.

I can, yeah.

I've got something to trade.

Fucking tell 'em yourself.

Talk to him. Talk to...

Do you have my daddy's cards?

Fuck you, you sick fuck.

Fuck you
and your baseball cards.

Fuck your girl.

If I don't get my cards back,

another girl is gonna suffer
the same fate.

Is your partner there?

Yeah, what do you want?

Somebody help me!

And she's gonna get
what the whore got

if I don't get my cards back.

Except she'll get it worse.

'Cause I got a soft spot

for whores.

It's Sara.

He's got my Sara.

Hey, Abe. How's it going, buddy?

Get the fuck outta here.

I want my baseball cards.

Abe, come on. Come on.
We can, we can...

We can resolve this, you know.
Plan. Make an exchange, okay?

You just can't kill the girl,
Mr. Gooch.

What did you just call me?

Mr. Abraham Emil Gooch.

I've got a pretty good idea
of who I'm dealing with.

And I don't care, Abe.
I don't give a fuck

provided you spare the girl.

The girl. The girl!

Fuck the girl!

I want my baseball cards!

Yeah, I'm getting there.

Bring us the girl, alive,

and Mr. Emil Gooch
can disappear, poof,

into thin air.
Just go on his merry way.

But what about my daddy's cards?

And the same Mr. Gooch
can disappear

with all of his daddy's
baseball cards.

And all for the bargain price
of 150k.

I did my research, Abe.

I know it's fair, so.

That's it.

Dilemma resolved.

And don't
fucking try and tell me

that you don't got the money,
'cause I know you do.

Abe?

What would your father want?

Okay. Deal.

Meet me at the junkyard

where 7th
meets the Detroit river.

In... In one hour.

How did he find Sara?

I don't know, man. Look.

I didn't know
what was happening, all right?

I had no idea, no choice.

All right, keep it running.

We've got a problem.
We're gonna fix it.

Head to Comic World.
We'll explain on the way.

Hey.

- Have you seen a kid?
- Every day, pal.

Girl, okay, with a duffel bag
full of very old baseball cards.

- Oh, the potty mouth?
- Yeah, that's the one.

She just left with the cards.

Taylor!

Taylor!

Taylor's disappeared.

Sara's dead.

Sara's dead.

- How much for the whole box?
- Twenty bucks.

I'll take it.

Give me the blue duffel bag.

- No. No...
- What? You got a better idea?

You guys shouldn't have
fucked with my collection.

You sick fuck.

Sending me
my girl's tongue in a jar.

Special delivery.

She was a tough bitch though.

I'll give her that.

Her head...

it still popped
like a watermelon.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

He still has Sara. Wait.

Where is she?

She's safe.

And mostly intact.

Cards first.

Then I'll let you know
where you can find

what's left of the dumb bitch.

You motherfucker,
where is my girl?

Listen up, cry baby.

Your girl's my new
life insurance policy.

When I get my cards back

and I drive
out of this junkyard alive,

then I'll make sure
you get your bitch back.

I mean...

girl.

You don't know
how sick you are, do you?

Where's the money?

Open it, you sick fuck!

And my cards?

Trying to land me a good...

Hey, this wasn't part
of the plan, I'm sorry,

but your cards
have been misplaced.

They're temporarily misplaced,

but when they turn up,
we'll really,

we'll make sure
to get 'em to you.

Back it up.

Back up.

Yep.

You too. Now, drop it.

You out of your
fucking mind too?

Now.

Toss your guns over there.

Fucking do it.

Get the old fuck's gun too.

I own your ass.

You can keep
the flashlight though.

Stupid fucking thing.

Et tu, Brute?

We were partners.

A plague upon it when thieves
cannot be true to one another.

Travel light.

It's a nice sentiment though.
More Shakespeare.

I told you he had
a totally fucked up aura.

Jesus Christ.

Don't look so shocked.
You got conned.

All right. Big fucking deal.
Shit happens.

Put it in your fucking memoirs.

Pawn broker.

Pass me the case. Nice and easy.

Wait. You and me
need to have a talk.

What do you say
we get some dinner?

Can you believe this fucking
idiot actually got the money?

You two.
Over with your new friend.

Fucking move.

Don't fucking play with me.

Danny.

Your plan almost worked.

Almost. You should be proud.

I am.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have shit to do.

He shouldn't have
stood me up for dinner.

You gotta be kidding me.

Slimy bastard.

Son of a...

Badass, Abe.

I can't believe
I fucking missed it.

You are one sick bastard.

No.

- I've got a hobby.
- A hobby?

My truth-telling,

honesty-locating flashlight
compass magnet plus

is telling me I've got
a piece of shit pawn broker

with a fucked up comb-over
temporarily stuck

to the bottom of my shoe.

How the fuck did we get here?

Whoa. Wait, wait, wait.

He's still got Sara.
Where is she?

If you kill me,

he'll never find his girl.

She'll die.

So help me up,
you miserable punk.

Sara?

I need the keys.

Looks like you're finally
out of cards, Abe.

Wait.

W-w-wait.

I know you.

Baby?

Hold on, baby. Hold on.

I'll get you out.

Hold on, baby. I'll get you out.
Okay.

All right. Okay. Calm down.

- We got you, we got you.
- Johnny.

Hold on. Hold on.

- Danny.
- Hold on. Grab my hand.

Come on. We got you.

Okay. I got you. Okay.

Okay. Shh. Shh. Okay.

It's okay. It's over.

Hey, it's okay. I've got you.

What the fuck
is going on out here?

Well, I'll be jitterbugged.

What happened to him?

Come on, baby.

That's it.

He...

He ran into this.

Makes perfect sense.

Yes, sir.

Perfect sense.

Next question.

Who the hell is he?

Heard about
all the missing girls?

Bingo!

You know, except for the,
the fucked up comb-over,

he doesn't look nothing
like the police sketch.

No, but I recognize
the girls though.

Yes, sir. And right here
in my junkyard.

Right here in my junkyard.

- You know...
- Okay, Edgar.

You got a car compactor
around here, or...

- an incinerator?
- Yeah, sure do. Got both.

Why?

Toss the sick bastard
into the trunk.

Crush it.

And then burn it. Melt it down.

Just put him in the trunk.

He got off easy.

To do a great right,

do a little wrong.

- I'll be damned.
- Hey, guys.

Fuck off.

It's all there.

All right. Every goddamn one.

I don't know
what the fuck I was thinking.

I never saw nothing
like this before.

Guess they made me crazy.

It takes two.

I'm sorry that I didn't...

stay put like you told me to.

I didn't cause any real
major fucking trouble, did I?

Never thought I'd enjoy
hearing you cuss so much.

Yeah, those are yours. Um.

Just one string attached to it.

Two strings attached.

You gotta turn them into cash.

You gotta go
and you gotta cut Sara in.

Just so she finishes
nursing school. And then

you'll get it all
when you're 18,

just with varied advancements,
you know.

Sweet 16, make up, dress better.

You can go
fuck yourself with that

hair, make up, dress bullshit.

But the rest of the deal
sounds mad dope.

Mm-hmm.

I'm gonna call Sara now.

Got to hit the head.

'Cause I'm
your main girl now, right?

Your lucky Penny?

I'm just messing with you.
I like it.

It's nice.

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull