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1
00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:03,537
(magical theme playing)
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00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:05,939
Ho, ho, ho!
3
00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:08,709
‐♪ ♪
‐(children laughing, chattering)
4
00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:22,089
Good sir, perchance you would
like to try on
5
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:24,525
the "categorize cap"
to see which school
6
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,159
of magic most suits thee?
7
00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:28,061
Not today, weirdo.
8
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:29,897
(alarm blares)
9
00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:32,799
Congratulations,
you're a Grizzledum!
10
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:36,036
Yes! Finally!
A hat that respects me!
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00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:37,638
Don't be too cocky.
12
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:40,774
That means you're a sworn
enemy of Pufflesnuff.
13
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,876
I hate those guys.
14
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:45,112
Well, well, well, if it ain't
15
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,447
one of those Grizzledum gits.
16
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:51,351
Someone had a little too much
bubble and squeak for breakfast.
17
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:54,221
Don't worry, Dad.
Those are just park employees.
18
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,490
Cool!
Then they can't hit me back.
19
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:57,591
Oi!
20
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,860
We're seasonal workers.
21
00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:02,729
We can do
as we bloody well please.
22
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:06,033
Yeah, well, just wait'll
my fellow Grizzledums help me.
23
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,169
I'm known for my stomach aches.
24
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:12,439
My character was cut
from the movies.
25
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,208
‐Aah!
‐Get him!
26
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:16,310
[sighs] This is a good time
to call Grampa
27
00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:18,312
and see how Maggie's doing.
28
00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:20,080
PUFFLESNUFF: Carve a lightning
bolt in his head!
29
00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:22,449
Hello, Mabel.
Can I have my dad?
30
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:23,483
Sure thing, Marge.
31
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:26,587
Patching you through
to Throwback 7244.
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00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:27,821
(phone rings)
33
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:30,591
Hey, Marge,
everything is A‐okay,
34
00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:32,192
which was a popular slogan
35
00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:35,529
during Martin Van Buren's
election campaign because...
36
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,866
Ooh, thank God
I'm on my anti‐rambling meds.
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00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,368
I remember the first day
I went on them.
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00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,169
That's it.
39
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,770
Anyway, Maggie's having fun
40
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:45,439
with her little friend.
41
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:46,607
We're at the beach?!
42
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:48,408
I better put on sunscreen.
43
00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:49,643
(humming)
44
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,745
♪ ♪
45
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:02,956
(exhales)
I finally know what it's like
46
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,458
to be a British beverage.
47
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:08,161
Gently back and forth,
back and forth.
48
00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:11,331
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
49
00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:13,901
Bart!
Stop playing with the wheel.
50
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:16,336
Only if Homer buys us something
at the gift shop!
51
00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:19,940
Why do I keep thinking
these places will be fun?
52
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:23,043
You don't!
It's a place you can be with us
53
00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:25,078
without having to talk to us.
54
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,346
(Bart laughs evilly)
55
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:32,586
Oh, finally,
a place to spend money.
56
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,521
I'll take three of each wand
57
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:37,291
plus holsters and the
five‐year magic care warranty.
58
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:40,360
And I'll pick the one
that costs a little extra
59
00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:43,363
because they also give
a wand to a needy child.
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00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:44,765
(groans)
61
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:47,534
(grunting)
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00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:50,404
Aw.
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00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,507
Listen to her,
purring like a kitten.
64
00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:57,744
(gasps) Grampa, when was
the last time you saw Maggie?
65
00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,646
I just changed her diaper
66
00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,515
before I put the cat out.
67
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,116
Uh‐oh.
68
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,286
‐Maggie!
‐Where are you, Mags?
69
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,488
Ask Grampa, maybe he knows.
70
00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:09,756
(knocking)
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00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,391
Simpsons, I don't know
72
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:14,628
if Heaven's missing an angel,
but I think you might be.
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00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,800
Oh, my sweet baby!
74
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,335
Flanders, I owe ya one.
75
00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:23,704
Well, sir, could you give me
back my Allen wrench?
76
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,672
(scoffs)
This guy names his tools.
77
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:29,910
Grampa, I'm afraid we'll never
ask you to babysit again.
78
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,112
Who says I want to?
You never even pay me!
79
00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:34,915
Well, you can rest easy
knowing if anything did happen,
80
00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:37,184
she has the only insurance
you truly need.
81
00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:39,186
A simple Christian baptism.
82
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:41,722
Actually,
we haven't gotten around
83
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,123
to baptizing her yet.
84
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:44,858
You mean
this child could've been
85
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,293
cast into God's basement
86
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,829
of eternal burning,
because you were "too busy"?
87
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:52,232
We could baptize her soon,
if you want to be the godfather.
88
00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:54,501
Oh, no can‐doodily.
I'm already the godfather
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00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:56,637
to 1,100 children.
Take one of these.
90
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,106
‐It'll buzz
when I have an opening. ‐(buzzes)
91
00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:00,641
This is for a baptism?
92
00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:04,511
My wife is Shinto and I worship
the Klingon faith of Ba‐a‐a‐a.
93
00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,647
We thought this was
for Tony Roma's.
94
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,515
Good night!
95
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:13,187
I can't stop thinking
about Maggie not being baptized.
96
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:15,489
What if...
the unspeakable happens?
97
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:17,457
Are you saying that just
because we don't splash
98
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,993
a little water on her
she's gonna burn forever?
99
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:21,995
Sleep well, knowing
current religious thought
100
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:24,064
is Maggie won't go to Hell.
101
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:26,767
Although that's
always up for debate.
102
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:29,203
‐Mm. (snores)
‐(sighs)
103
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,509
Hmm.
104
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,244
♪ ♪
105
00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:38,345
Ah! Ah.
106
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,452
Nice and unbaptized.
107
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:48,622
She'll play
in an unsanitary ball pit
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00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,757
‐for all eternity.
‐(gasps)
109
00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:52,626
(Devil laughing)
110
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,195
And I'm here, too!
111
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,098
And I've got Milhouse
growing on my back.
112
00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:00,634
I'm the front
and you're the back!
113
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,269
‐I'm the front!
‐(grunts)
114
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:03,470
Ow!
115
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:07,074
We have
to get Maggie baptized now.
116
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,443
Either Patty or Selma could be
the godmother.
117
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,678
Well, that would insult
one of them.
118
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:13,647
But I want
to insult both of them.
119
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,549
What we really need
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00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,150
for the godfather
121
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:18,919
is someone
who goes to church weekly,
122
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:21,054
not the Christmas
and Easter crowd.
123
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,090
Lousy part‐time Protestants.
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00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,125
I go every week
and sleep through mass
125
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:26,793
like a real Christian.
126
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:29,096
Homie, this is important to me.
127
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,265
I get it, but can't this wait?
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00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,034
You go find her a godfather!
129
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,637
The classiest person you know.
130
00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:41,909
‐BOTH: Hey!
‐Wait a minute!
131
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,577
I wasn't watching that!
132
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:44,678
Guys, this is serious.
133
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:47,080
I'm looking for a godfather
for my little angel.
134
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:49,750
Aw, what a cutie.
Let me give her a sip of beer.
135
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:51,785
Okay, you're out.
136
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,253
If I'm out, Carl's out.
137
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:56,123
I decide who tells
me what to do. Moe?
138
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:59,493
You're out, Carl. So, Homer,
I hear you're lookin' for...
139
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:00,761
You're out. Barney?
140
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:03,063
‐You're out.
‐Aw!
141
00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:04,998
Godfather? Well let's see.
142
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:07,167
I have done a great
job with Ralphie.
143
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,571
HOMER:
Wiggum out.
144
00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:13,907
Don't worry, sweetie. You don't
need a godfather right away.
145
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:16,543
You're gonna live
a long, long time.
146
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:22,516
Here's another avoidable death
you've gotten us into.
147
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:25,185
(sobbing)
148
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,724
Fat Tony!
149
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,059
You saved us!
150
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:35,229
Not I.
It was the Blessed Mother.
151
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,131
You're religious, too.
152
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,634
You'd be a great godfather,
if it weren't for...
153
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,503
If it weren't for what?
154
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:44,671
Uh... you know...
155
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,907
No, I do not know.
156
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:47,908
(whimpers)
157
00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:50,577
What a cute little bambina.
158
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,012
(Maggie giggling)
159
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,380
I accept your offer.
160
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,483
I will be godfather
to your child.
161
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:57,417
Yeah, but, but, but...
162
00:06:57,518 --> 00:07:00,821
You did offer it to me,
didn't you?
163
00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:03,657
He said it.
We got it all on tape.
164
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,226
(sobs)
I truly appreciate this.
165
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,462
I have nothing innocent
and pure in my life,
166
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:11,064
but now I have
this sweet little angel.
167
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,900
Great, great.
168
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:15,035
This'll be just
like The Godfather.
169
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,404
‐The what?
‐You know, the movie The Godfather.
170
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,473
‐Never heard of it.
‐It's about a guy like you,
171
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:20,507
who does what you do.
172
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,609
Which is what?
173
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:24,411
Um, legitimate business.
174
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:27,147
He sounds like quite the fellow,
this godfather.
175
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,816
I've seen Shark Tale
and Analyze This,
176
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:31,852
but that sounds even better.
177
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,787
Fat Tony can't be godfather.
178
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:36,190
We'd be better off
with Mr. Burns.
179
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:38,725
I asked him.
He's allergic to new baby smell.
180
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:39,927
(knocking)
181
00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:43,397
Pardon me for dropping
by unannounced,
182
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:47,134
but I could not help but notice
that my goddaughter‐to‐be has
183
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:51,238
an outdated car seat
facing in the wrong direction.
184
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:56,310
(whimpers)
185
00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:58,879
So, I have taken
the liberty of purchasing you
186
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,381
the most exclusive,
top‐of‐the‐line
187
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:05,452
car seat:
the Ferrari Protect‐a‐rossa.
188
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,489
Well, that's very nice, but...
189
00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:13,160
And you, the mama,
will drive her more safely
190
00:08:13,227 --> 00:08:16,463
in this Luxus SUV
I have leased in your name.
191
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,198
It's got everything.
192
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,933
Blindspot monitors...
193
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,236
built‐in humidor, a GPS
194
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:24,304
that doesn't think
it's better than you.
195
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:26,740
MALE VOICE:
Sure, let's try it your way.
196
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:29,176
‐Oh...
‐FAT TONY: Hmm?
197
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:33,747
Fat Tony, I'm sorry,
but you can't be the godfather.
198
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,315
Marge, think about this.
199
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:37,818
Your baby will want
to go to an elite preschool,
200
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,586
a prestigious prep school,
201
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,188
a college with the ivy.
202
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:43,891
I could help you
with all these things.
203
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:45,526
You can really do that?
204
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:48,161
With the soccer coaches
and admissions officers
205
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:51,665
I have in my pocket
like so many yogurt melties.
206
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:58,572
We'll play along
until we can get out of it.
207
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:02,009
Godfather.
208
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,580
Welcome to the family.
209
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:10,017
Welcome to the family.
210
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:20,294
MARGE:
Okay, just get through this.
211
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:22,329
Then you never see
the godparents again.
212
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:25,098
Always so nice to see you,
Fat Tony.
213
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,633
Is everything okay?
214
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,537
Please, please, say it's okay.
215
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,105
Why you no answering?
216
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:35,309
I'm a‐gonna die!
And I've never been‐a to Italy!
217
00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:36,577
(sobbing)
218
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,245
Everything's fine.
219
00:09:38,312 --> 00:09:41,281
Ah, I knew it.
Have‐a some parmesan.
220
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,649
My hand!
221
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,152
It's‐a having a heart attack!
222
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:48,789
Now, I take my duties
as godfather seriously.
223
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:50,891
I might almost be intrusive.
224
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,059
Almost.
225
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,460
First, I want to help
226
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,996
with little Margaret's
religious development.
227
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:58,732
For my first communion,
my sainted mother gave me
228
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:02,469
this book and ten dollars,
which was a fortune to me.
229
00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:04,371
I never spent it.
230
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,040
Mama!
231
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:11,612
First, the queen of all saints,
232
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,580
Mary, the only woman in history
233
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:17,117
who had the ugatz
to be a mother and a virgin.
234
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:19,586
Actually, the virgin birth
is the doctrine
235
00:10:19,686 --> 00:10:21,355
of traditional Christianity.
236
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:22,756
Not Protestants.
237
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,525
La beata madre è stata
238
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,527
concepita senza
peccato originale.
239
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:29,930
Quindi è possibile
che sia madre e vergine.
240
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:31,265
Oh. Got it.
241
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,268
This is Saint Lucia,
242
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:37,171
which may or may not be
where my money is.
243
00:10:37,271 --> 00:10:39,873
And this is St. Zeno of Verona,
244
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,476
the saint of learning to speak.
245
00:10:42,543 --> 00:10:44,678
For you, Margaret.
246
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:47,414
Hmm.
247
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:50,551
Ah, you got to love
a religion with merch.
248
00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:55,022
Maybe this could work out.
249
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:58,492
You just enjoy riding
in a safe car for once.
250
00:10:58,592 --> 00:11:01,094
Yes! Yes! Yes, I do!
251
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,163
For the family.
252
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,332
Stop so we can do
the door again.
253
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,169
Whoa, Mama!
(laughs)
254
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:11,171
D'oh!
255
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,641
I can't believe the boss
has us babysitting.
256
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:17,377
I broke out of prison for this?
257
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:22,149
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
258
00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:25,185
Careful, those babies got those
super sharp fingernails!
259
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:30,123
Here ya go, Baby Boss.
260
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,065
Mangia. Mangia.
261
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,499
Leave no evidence.
262
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,335
Boss,
Benny down at the liquor store
263
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:43,770
is late on his payment. Again.
264
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,606
Let me break his kneecaps.
265
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:46,740
Marone a mi!
266
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:49,443
You never ever talk that way
in front of a baby.
267
00:11:49,510 --> 00:11:51,245
Uh, uh, okay, uh,
268
00:11:51,345 --> 00:11:53,881
what if we give him
a boo‐boo to the brain?
269
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:56,650
Make him go night‐night forever?
270
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:57,885
Disgusting!
271
00:11:57,985 --> 00:12:00,220
You give the kiss of death
with that mouth?
272
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:02,756
Now, if you'll excuse me...
273
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:04,992
I have to take
sweet little Maggie
274
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:07,160
to Guido and Me class.
275
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,062
(humming happily)
276
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:11,298
I think the boss is
gettin' soft.
277
00:12:11,365 --> 00:12:13,100
Next thing you know,
he'll be startin'
278
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:15,235
a legitimate
legitimate business!
279
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:17,404
Eh, I think
you're imagining things.
280
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:21,008
♪ Twinkle, twinkle,
little star ♪
281
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,610
♪ Let me hotwire you a car ♪
282
00:12:23,677 --> 00:12:26,747
♪ We'll change the plates,
I know a guy ♪
283
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:29,816
♪ You'll be my little alibi. ♪
284
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:32,653
(laughs)
You stole my heart.
285
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:34,621
You little criminal.
286
00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:36,590
(all groaning)
287
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:39,126
(all gasping)
288
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,528
Ah, it's‐a so sad.
289
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:44,031
Fat Tony has been
a very good boss.
290
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:48,168
I have too much respect
for him not to kill him.
291
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,404
Eh, what do you think,
Johnny Tightlips?
292
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:53,073
I don't want
to do nothin' to nobody.
293
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:55,642
So... you want to do
somethin' to somebody.
294
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:57,277
Exactly.
295
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,379
Does Maggie seem different
to you?
296
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:00,681
I'm worried.
297
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,616
Uh, Marge,
let me put it this way.
298
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:04,084
We can't be bad parents,
299
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:07,221
because bad parents can't
get their kid into...
300
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,923
the finest preschool in town!
301
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,458
Maggie has been admitted
302
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,894
to the Preschool
for the Performing Arts?
303
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,963
They have a three‐year wait.
304
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,465
Is she in the morning class
or afternoon?
305
00:13:18,532 --> 00:13:19,733
Morning.
306
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,635
‐Mm.
‐(knocking)
307
00:13:21,702 --> 00:13:24,137
I'm afraid we have
an agreement
308
00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:26,206
and you have not held up
your end.
309
00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:28,842
We are going for a ride.
310
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:31,478
(whimpering)
311
00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:37,317
No!
312
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:42,089
No goddaughter of mine
will miss Sunday service.
313
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:44,091
Oh, but I'm hungover.
314
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:46,293
We were gonna go at 1:00 p. m.
315
00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:48,529
I'm afraid there ain't
no 1:00 p. m. no more.
316
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,764
Low attendance whacked it
from the schedule.
317
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:51,999
I knew it.
318
00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:53,233
You make a deal with the devil,
319
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,668
and look where you wind up.
320
00:13:54,735 --> 00:13:56,303
‐(snoring)
‐Wake up.
321
00:13:56,370 --> 00:13:57,371
(blabbering)
322
00:13:57,471 --> 00:13:58,739
Oh, come on, man.
323
00:13:58,772 --> 00:14:00,307
Even the priest is asleep.
324
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,875
(yawns)
325
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:05,179
Please rise
and open your hymnals.
326
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:09,383
(whispers):
He said open your book.
327
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:13,353
♪ You were so right, I'm
a moron, I'm so frightened ♪
328
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:17,591
♪ Bail us out now,
I am out of ideas. ♪
329
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:22,362
Look, if we're direct
and say he can't be godfather,
330
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,264
what's the worst
that can happen?
331
00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:26,166
Did you see The Godfather?
332
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:27,734
I saw the wedding part.
333
00:14:27,835 --> 00:14:29,503
Does anything happen after that?
334
00:14:29,570 --> 00:14:32,539
That Carlo seems
like a wonderful husband.
335
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:35,509
‐What are you talking about?
‐Uh, Mister Fat?
336
00:14:35,576 --> 00:14:38,712
There's a non‐whacking matter
I need to discuss with you.
337
00:14:38,779 --> 00:14:40,614
I also have
to tell you something.
338
00:14:40,681 --> 00:14:44,117
Your daughter is cute, smart,
and sweet as a hung jury.
339
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,420
So I will honor
all of you next Sunday
340
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:49,857
with tickets to Itchy
and Scratchy's Christmas On Ice.
341
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:54,027
Now, what did you want
to tell me?
342
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:56,263
I, um, uh, stall, stall...
343
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,198
play for time...
(stammers)
344
00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:01,034
I wanted to tell you
how great you look in that suit.
345
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,302
Why, thank you.
346
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,004
Why do people have
such difficulty
347
00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:05,606
telling me how great I am?
348
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:12,212
This is
the first business I've had
349
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:14,848
where in the back room is
just more of the same.
350
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:17,050
Thoughts?
351
00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:19,019
Hey, these diaper bags
are great.
352
00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:21,088
You could hide a brick
of nose candy in here.
353
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,624
No, you mezzo arguto paisan!
354
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,192
This is all aboveboard.
355
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:27,060
I want to be family friendly.
356
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,730
You mean "the family" family?
357
00:15:29,830 --> 00:15:31,732
I mean every family!
358
00:15:31,832 --> 00:15:33,600
Except the Branzinos.
359
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,068
Death to them.
360
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,136
ALL THREE:
Death to them.
361
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:37,271
Hey, boss, maybe you can get
362
00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:39,640
your little Maggie one of these.
363
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:42,543
You would body shame a baby?!
364
00:15:44,745 --> 00:15:46,580
‐(door closes)
‐I've seen enough.
365
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:48,482
This Sunday we make our move.
366
00:15:48,549 --> 00:15:50,317
Can we make it Saturday?
I got a thing.
367
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,352
‐Move your thing.
‐I already moved it
368
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:54,321
for the thing that was cancelled
for the you know what
369
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:56,056
where we did that thing
we did not do.
370
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:58,225
That didn't happen
two weeks ago.
371
00:15:58,292 --> 00:15:59,893
You don't know about that!
372
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,863
You don't know
what I don't know.
373
00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:05,465
Um, we certainly appreciate
374
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:07,367
all you've done for us.
375
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:10,671
Maggie has all the bling
a toddler could want.
376
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,408
Don't look at me.
377
00:16:14,508 --> 00:16:16,710
They fell off the back
of a tricycle.
378
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,080
(crying)
379
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:22,516
(gasps)
What have we done?
380
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:26,954
Uh, Maggie! What are ya doin'?
381
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,056
I didn't mean it! Maggie!
382
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:32,159
Fat Tony, get away from my kid!
383
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,063
That's it.
384
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:40,868
Fine. I see.
385
00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:43,971
Excuse me,
there is an urgent matter
386
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:46,039
I must attend to.
387
00:16:57,885 --> 00:16:59,152
(burps)
388
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:01,889
Homer, can I tell you
a little secret?
389
00:17:01,955 --> 00:17:04,525
‐No, no, please don't!
‐It's a good secret.
390
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:07,227
I'm finally getting out of
this terrible business I'm in.
391
00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:09,963
And into the slightly
less cutthroat business
392
00:17:09,997 --> 00:17:11,932
of maternity wear.
393
00:17:11,999 --> 00:17:13,901
I'm gonna get my soul back.
394
00:17:13,934 --> 00:17:16,737
And Maggie is my inspiration.
395
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,772
‐Aw.
‐Give me one more day
396
00:17:18,839 --> 00:17:20,874
to prove
that I belong in her life.
397
00:17:20,974 --> 00:17:22,709
I'll see what I can do.
398
00:17:22,743 --> 00:17:24,978
(giggles)
399
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,048
Legs! Louie! Get in here!
400
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,316
Dispose of this.
401
00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:32,419
I don't want
to know where or how.
402
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:43,297
Ain't nobody gonna
find this now.
403
00:17:43,397 --> 00:17:46,533
Uh, marone.
You never forget that smell.
404
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:04,418
Remember: take the gun.
405
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:06,286
Leave the Zamboni.
406
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,922
Okay, this is it.
I'm ending it today.
407
00:18:09,022 --> 00:18:12,292
In a public place
with a lot of witnesses.
408
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:20,667
Well, Fat Tony,
this is really fun,
409
00:18:20,734 --> 00:18:22,736
but where is everyone else?
410
00:18:22,803 --> 00:18:25,105
On the suggestion
of my coworkers,
411
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:27,774
who only have
my best interests in mind,
412
00:18:27,875 --> 00:18:29,743
I bought out the whole arena
413
00:18:29,843 --> 00:18:32,279
for my dear little Maggie.
414
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:34,548
No audience means no witnesses!
415
00:18:34,615 --> 00:18:36,116
What's going on?
416
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,352
Fat Tony, I beg you!
417
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:41,054
Stop being
my daughter's godfather!
418
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,657
If you do, I'll clean for you,
I'll cook for you.
419
00:18:43,724 --> 00:18:45,526
I'll be your mama!
420
00:18:45,626 --> 00:18:47,594
God rest her soul.
421
00:18:48,829 --> 00:18:50,430
I must refuse your offer.
422
00:18:50,531 --> 00:18:53,066
I made a promise to God
to watch your baby.
423
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,903
And he's the only boss
I answer to.
424
00:18:56,003 --> 00:18:59,239
Except that guy in Kansas City.
425
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,874
MARGE:
Oh, no! No!
426
00:19:00,941 --> 00:19:02,543
We're stuck with him forever!
427
00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:04,411
Maggie's in Hell already!
428
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:14,655
Johnny Tightlips!
429
00:19:14,755 --> 00:19:16,423
This is it, Tony.
430
00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:19,226
You did the worst thing
a mob boss could ever do.
431
00:19:19,293 --> 00:19:21,228
Care about somebody else.
432
00:19:21,295 --> 00:19:24,198
I thought you was
with me on this double cross!
433
00:19:24,298 --> 00:19:27,100
We'll never turn on Tony!
He's my cousin!
434
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,702
I thought he was my cousin!
435
00:19:28,802 --> 00:19:30,237
Well, he's somebody's cousin.
436
00:19:30,304 --> 00:19:32,472
And in this world,
that's what counts.
437
00:19:32,506 --> 00:19:34,274
You would betray me?
438
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,375
(grunts)
439
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:36,710
(gasps)
440
00:19:38,712 --> 00:19:40,981
No, Maggie, no! I'm sorry!
441
00:19:41,048 --> 00:19:43,617
‐That's not me!
‐Oh, isn't it?
442
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,152
Oh, my God, you're right.
443
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:46,887
I cannot change who I am.
444
00:19:46,987 --> 00:19:49,156
Also that maternity store
was a joke.
445
00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:50,691
They look, but don't buy.
446
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:53,894
But, Maggie, it's not too late
for you to go straight.
447
00:19:53,994 --> 00:19:56,530
I'm stepping back as godfather.
448
00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:57,865
‐Finally.
‐Thank God.
449
00:19:57,931 --> 00:19:59,499
(grunting)
450
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:00,634
Oops.
451
00:20:00,734 --> 00:20:03,337
Here's the keys to the SUV.
452
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,439
(both grunting)
453
00:20:09,009 --> 00:20:11,945
You have to let go
for me to take them back.
454
00:20:12,012 --> 00:20:13,347
I know, let me just
455
00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:15,415
open the doors one more time.
456
00:20:15,449 --> 00:20:16,650
(alarm chirps)
457
00:20:16,717 --> 00:20:18,519
(grunts, groans)
458
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,888
Maggie, my darling.
459
00:20:20,988 --> 00:20:23,123
Thank you for reminding me
of everything
460
00:20:23,190 --> 00:20:25,492
that's good and sweet
in this world.
461
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,694
And now, ciao bella.
462
00:20:27,761 --> 00:20:29,062
(sniffing)
Ew, uh,
463
00:20:29,129 --> 00:20:31,598
before you go... could you?
464
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,467
Just when I thought I was out,
465
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,069
they drag me back in.
466
00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:51,318
I'm not afraid to say it.
467
00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:53,453
If this keeps up,
I'm calling HR.
468
00:20:53,554 --> 00:20:56,557
You mean Harry the Rat?
He's buried right over there.
469
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:02,963
Captioning sponsored by
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470
00:21:03,030 --> 00:21:05,966
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
471
00:21:06,033 --> 00:21:08,735
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
472
00:21:08,769 --> 00:21:12,206
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
473
00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:31,992
Shh!
474
00:21:32,042 --> 00:21:36,592
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