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1
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It was a scary week.
2
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'Cause here's what you got to understand.
3
00:00:52,708 --> 00:00:54,416
A hit television show today...
4
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:57,500
a big hit television show...
what does it get?
5
00:00:57,583 --> 00:00:58,625
Ten million viewers.
6
00:00:58,708 --> 00:01:01,166
Let's go crazy and say 15.
7
00:01:01,250 --> 00:01:05,041
15 million viewers,
'cause this is a big, giant hit.
8
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Here's what you got to understand.
9
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60 million.
10
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Oh, yeah.
11
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It's been a long time,
but I remember that week.
12
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That was a scary week.
13
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:20,291
It was a very scary week.
14
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Those guys scare too easy.
15
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,166
I'm from the Midwest.
16
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I've lived through the Depression,
the Dust Bowl.
17
00:01:26,166 --> 00:01:27,250
I don't scare that easy.
18
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But, yeah, it was a scary goddamn week.
19
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Department stores used to be
open late on Monday nights.
20
00:01:33,375 --> 00:01:35,250
Then they switched to Thursday night.
21
00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:36,458
You know why?
22
00:01:36,541 --> 00:01:40,166
'Cause nobody was leaving home
during I Love Lucy on Mondays.
23
00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:44,166
There was a significant drop-off
in the number of people using water
24
00:01:44,250 --> 00:01:46,500
between 9:00 and 9:30 on Monday nights.
25
00:01:46,583 --> 00:01:47,833
Out of the blue...
26
00:01:47,916 --> 00:01:50,125
Everyone almost lost their jobs.
27
00:01:50,208 --> 00:01:52,875
Lucy and Desi almost lost their lives.
28
00:01:52,958 --> 00:01:54,375
Out of thin air.
29
00:01:54,458 --> 00:01:56,833
You're asking when did they find out?
30
00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:59,750
Same time as everyone else,
listening to Walter Winchell.
31
00:01:59,833 --> 00:02:04,416
I'm minding my own business,
listening to Walter Winchell, and bam.
32
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,666
At the end of the broadcast.
33
00:02:06,750 --> 00:02:09,000
This is what you got to understand.
34
00:02:09,083 --> 00:02:13,291
It wasn't small potatoes when Winchell
ended his broadcast by saying...
35
00:02:13,375 --> 00:02:15,958
"Lucille Ball is a Communist."
36
00:02:17,291 --> 00:02:18,500
Just like that.
37
00:02:18,583 --> 00:02:21,875
Lucille Ball is a member
of the Communist Party.
38
00:02:21,958 --> 00:02:24,833
- Yeah.
- And she'd already seen the magazine story
39
00:02:24,916 --> 00:02:28,250
about Desi when Winchell came on.
40
00:02:28,333 --> 00:02:29,875
The magazine came out on Mondays,
41
00:02:29,958 --> 00:02:32,333
but her publicist brought her a copy
on Sunday night.
42
00:02:32,416 --> 00:02:34,500
What were they doing
when they first heard the news?
43
00:02:34,583 --> 00:02:35,500
What were they doing?
44
00:02:35,583 --> 00:02:37,750
I don't know
what Lucy and Desi were doing,
45
00:02:37,833 --> 00:02:41,000
but it was Lucy and Desi, so they were
either tearing each other's heads off
46
00:02:41,083 --> 00:02:42,583
or tearing each other's clothes off.
47
00:02:42,666 --> 00:02:45,791
It's time,
America, time for Walter Winchell.
48
00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:48,875
Presented to you by Gruen,
the Precision watch.
49
00:02:48,958 --> 00:02:51,166
Gruen, the finest watch you can wear.
50
00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:53,684
Gruen, the finest watch you can give, brings you the man...
51
00:02:53,708 --> 00:02:55,833
Lucy, I'm home.
52
00:02:55,916 --> 00:02:58,791
Where the hell have you been,
you Cuban dimwit?!
53
00:02:58,875 --> 00:03:00,208
Oye, easy does it.
54
00:03:00,291 --> 00:03:02,125
You philandering bongo player!
55
00:03:02,208 --> 00:03:03,559
I was playing cards with...
56
00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:05,583
Hey! I was playing cards with... coño.
57
00:03:05,666 --> 00:03:07,708
- Oh, damn it.
- You tell me when it starts to hurt.
58
00:03:09,125 --> 00:03:11,392
- The boat? The...
- Yes, we were playing cards on the boat.
59
00:03:11,416 --> 00:03:14,166
Since last night? Since 27 hours ago?
60
00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:16,250
- Yes.
- And you couldn't get to a phone?
61
00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:17,416
- No.
- Why?
62
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:18,726
I was passed out a lot of that time.
63
00:03:21,125 --> 00:03:23,833
That's tomorrow's Confidential.
64
00:03:23,916 --> 00:03:25,583
Why do you even read that magazine?
65
00:03:25,666 --> 00:03:27,184
Why do I even... Well, in this case...
66
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,267
...it's 'cause my husband's on the cover
with another woman.
67
00:03:29,291 --> 00:03:30,916
So it caught my eye.
68
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,142
The story chronicles a night on the town
with you and the...
69
00:03:33,166 --> 00:03:34,625
That's somebody's niece.
70
00:03:34,708 --> 00:03:36,642
- What the hell do I care if it's somebody's niece?
- From Westinghouse.
71
00:03:36,666 --> 00:03:38,559
That's the Westinghouse corporate...
You were there.
72
00:03:38,583 --> 00:03:40,041
That's the guy's niece.
73
00:03:40,125 --> 00:03:43,416
That picture was taken last summer.
74
00:03:44,916 --> 00:03:46,125
You're right.
75
00:03:46,208 --> 00:03:48,833
This was taken
at the Westinghouse corporate retreat.
76
00:03:48,916 --> 00:03:50,958
- Yes.
- I apologize.
77
00:03:51,041 --> 00:03:54,000
- Hmm. Say, "Desi, I apologize for doubting you..."
- No.
78
00:03:54,083 --> 00:03:58,208
"...for I see now that this picture
was taken not last Wednesday night
79
00:03:58,291 --> 00:04:01,083
"but six months ago
at the Westinghouse corporate retreat,
80
00:04:01,166 --> 00:04:03,666
and I will never doubt
your love for me again."
81
00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:05,833
- Say that.
- No, and you're doing it again.
82
00:04:05,916 --> 00:04:08,125
You're pronouncing it "Westing-gouse."
83
00:04:08,208 --> 00:04:09,625
It is "Westing-gouse."
84
00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:11,083
"Westinghouse."
85
00:04:11,166 --> 00:04:14,083
Say, "G-H-O-S-T."
86
00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:15,208
"Ghost."
87
00:04:15,291 --> 00:04:17,208
You don't pronounce an "H" after a "G."
88
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:18,791
"Westing-gouse."
89
00:04:19,958 --> 00:04:22,500
Everything in the magazine was made up?
90
00:04:22,583 --> 00:04:24,351
I haven't read the story in the magazine,
91
00:04:24,375 --> 00:04:26,601
but unless the story's about me
playing cards on the boat...
92
00:04:26,625 --> 00:04:28,809
- It's not.
- Then, yes, it's made up.
93
00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:30,458
Amor, get it through your head.
94
00:04:30,541 --> 00:04:33,833
You are the only thing I want.
95
00:04:33,916 --> 00:04:35,500
Well, then you're an idiot.
96
00:04:35,583 --> 00:04:37,291
Ah, come here.
97
00:04:37,375 --> 00:04:38,934
The House Committee
on Un-American Activities is holding
98
00:04:38,958 --> 00:04:40,375
a secret session in California.
99
00:04:40,458 --> 00:04:42,541
The most popular of all television stars
100
00:04:42,625 --> 00:04:46,500
was confronted with her membership
in the Communist Party.
101
00:04:47,583 --> 00:04:50,583
- Wait!
- Wait.
102
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:51,750
Wait.
103
00:04:54,083 --> 00:04:55,666
What did he say?
104
00:04:55,750 --> 00:04:58,875
He said, "The most popular
of all television stars was..."
105
00:04:58,958 --> 00:05:02,166
"Was confronted with her membership
in the Communist Party."
106
00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:04,375
Yes.
107
00:05:04,458 --> 00:05:06,708
He could have been talking about
Imogene Coca.
108
00:05:06,791 --> 00:05:08,125
Fuck you.
109
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,625
He was not talking about Imogene Coca.
110
00:05:27,166 --> 00:05:28,875
This is nonsense.
111
00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:32,083
It's nonsense, and it will get worse
before it gets better.
112
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:35,958
Little Rusty Hamer,
when he signed his contract...
113
00:05:36,041 --> 00:05:38,291
or the guardian,
whoever signs the contract for him...
114
00:05:38,375 --> 00:05:40,833
he had to sign a loyalty pledge.
115
00:05:40,916 --> 00:05:42,000
Did anyone know that?
116
00:05:44,166 --> 00:05:45,500
Hmm?
117
00:05:45,583 --> 00:05:47,208
Bill?
118
00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:50,833
Bill?
119
00:05:52,291 --> 00:05:53,416
Is she talking to me?
120
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:54,708
Yeah.
121
00:05:54,791 --> 00:05:56,059
'Cause she knows I'm here?
She can see me?
122
00:05:56,083 --> 00:05:57,416
Yes.
123
00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:59,809
Did you know Little Rusty
had to sign a loyalty pledge?
124
00:05:59,833 --> 00:06:01,392
I don't know who the fuck Little Rusty is.
125
00:06:01,416 --> 00:06:03,250
Rusty Hamer from The Danny Thomas Show.
126
00:06:03,333 --> 00:06:04,726
- That's not his name.
- It is his name.
127
00:06:04,750 --> 00:06:06,470
- The littlest kid from Danny's show?
- Yes.
128
00:06:06,541 --> 00:06:08,541
Rusty is the character's name,
not the actor.
129
00:06:08,625 --> 00:06:11,583
They're both named Rusty.
Rusty Williams is played by Rusty Hamer.
130
00:06:11,666 --> 00:06:12,750
And Hamer's a Communist?
131
00:06:12,833 --> 00:06:14,541
He's seven years old.
132
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,791
- And he's interested in politics?
- No, imbecile.
133
00:06:16,875 --> 00:06:20,250
I'm saying he's seven years old
and they made him sign a loyalty pledge.
134
00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:21,666
Uh-huh?
135
00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:23,541
This is getting out of hand was my point.
136
00:06:23,625 --> 00:06:26,583
Why isn't Danny Thomas's kid
named Rusty Thomas?
137
00:06:26,666 --> 00:06:27,916
Are you drunk?
138
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,708
It's 10:00 a.m., Vivian,
so, you know, of course.
139
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,416
Bob and Jess and I were up all weekend
140
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:33,976
working on the script
you're about to read,
141
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,041
so on behalf of all of us, I want to say
how much we appreciate your respect.
142
00:06:38,125 --> 00:06:40,500
Believe me, you do not want me
to read this sober.
143
00:06:40,583 --> 00:06:42,517
I'm starting to get a little tired
of your casual insults.
144
00:06:42,541 --> 00:06:45,267
Well, my insults don't feel like
putting on a fucking tuxedo for you, kid.
145
00:06:45,291 --> 00:06:48,142
Jess, why don't you tell your supporting
cast that we don't work for him either.
146
00:06:48,166 --> 00:06:49,833
You all work for me!
147
00:06:50,916 --> 00:06:54,291
Wh... What you all
have to understand is this.
148
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:57,458
Here's what you have to understand.
149
00:06:58,541 --> 00:06:59,625
We're all tense.
150
00:07:07,208 --> 00:07:09,166
Seriously? That was it?
151
00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:12,083
We're all tense.
And the cure for that is just do the show.
152
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:14,125
Normal production week.
153
00:07:14,208 --> 00:07:15,476
We're gonna need someone
to play Lucy and Ricky.
154
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:16,500
Those are critical roles.
155
00:07:16,583 --> 00:07:18,791
The two of them are in Desi's office
156
00:07:18,875 --> 00:07:20,642
meeting with the network
and the sponsor right now.
157
00:07:20,666 --> 00:07:22,184
I'm sure there's an explanation.
This will all be over by show night.
158
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:23,958
One way or the other.
159
00:07:24,041 --> 00:07:25,208
Yeah. No.
160
00:07:25,291 --> 00:07:26,625
Let me be clear.
161
00:07:26,708 --> 00:07:28,508
I said, "This will all be over
by show night."
162
00:07:28,541 --> 00:07:30,309
Bill said, "One way or the other."
That's gallows humor.
163
00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:31,476
I said, "Yeah," but I did not...
164
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:34,041
- The sooner you stop talking...
- Yeah.
165
00:07:34,125 --> 00:07:37,708
I think everyone's acquainted,
but let's go around. Joe.
166
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:38,833
Uh, Joe Strickland, CBS.
167
00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:40,458
Howard Wenke, also CBS.
168
00:07:40,541 --> 00:07:42,583
Roger Otter, Philip Morris.
169
00:07:42,666 --> 00:07:45,125
Irwin Gotlieb, attorney for Desilu.
170
00:07:45,208 --> 00:07:47,791
Sam Stein, attorney for Lucille Ball.
171
00:07:47,875 --> 00:07:50,333
Tip Tribby, VP of Public Relations
for Philip Morris.
172
00:07:50,416 --> 00:07:53,958
Tip, if Winchell had it cold,
he'd have used her name,
173
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,625
it would have been at the top of the show,
not the bottom,
174
00:07:56,708 --> 00:08:00,000
and this morning, we'd be reading about it
on the front page of every paper.
175
00:08:00,083 --> 00:08:01,541
- Am I right?
- Yes.
176
00:08:01,625 --> 00:08:02,875
They don't have it.
177
00:08:02,958 --> 00:08:05,601
Can you see where CBS might be concerned
that there's an it to have?
178
00:08:05,625 --> 00:08:07,916
- Do you see that?
- Uh, couldn't follow you.
179
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,767
Lucy, you need to tell me right here
and now what the hell is going on.
180
00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,434
You don't want to talk to my wife
like that, amigo.
181
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:13,809
Or what, Des, you're gonna beat me up?
182
00:08:13,833 --> 00:08:14,916
Oh, she will.
183
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,166
So we're done with introductions?
184
00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:19,333
I'm not a Communist,
I've never been a Communist,
185
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,125
but technically, yeah, I am.
186
00:08:21,208 --> 00:08:22,666
Jesus Christ.
187
00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:23,976
Do you get what's happening here?
188
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,416
Do you know that this is not funny?
189
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:28,041
Yes, I do get what's happening,
and, yes, I know it's not funny.
190
00:08:28,125 --> 00:08:30,250
- Lucy...
- My father died when I was very young.
191
00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:33,133
I was raised by my mother and my
grandfather, a man named Fred C. Hunt.
192
00:08:33,166 --> 00:08:35,291
I'd like everyone but Howard
to leave the room.
193
00:08:35,375 --> 00:08:37,250
Philip Morris pays for the show.
194
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:40,833
And they get their money's worth,
so give us a minute, would you?
195
00:08:40,916 --> 00:08:43,625
She's smoking a Chesterfield.
196
00:08:43,708 --> 00:08:46,184
Could she at least smoke one of
the seven brands Philip Morris offers?
197
00:08:46,208 --> 00:08:48,208
Got it. Got it.
198
00:08:48,291 --> 00:08:50,833
Thank you.
199
00:08:54,666 --> 00:08:57,750
Fred C. Hunt, my grandfather,
was a member of the party.
200
00:08:57,833 --> 00:09:00,208
This was in the early '30s.
I was in my early 20s.
201
00:09:00,291 --> 00:09:02,708
He never used the word "Communist."
202
00:09:02,791 --> 00:09:04,511
But he cared about workers,
the working man.
203
00:09:04,583 --> 00:09:09,083
He raised my little brother and me,
and I wanted to please him.
204
00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:11,541
So I checked the box.
205
00:09:11,625 --> 00:09:14,142
Back then, it wasn't considered much worse
than being a Republican.
206
00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:15,166
Hmm.
207
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:16,892
- Have you been to a meeting?
- No.
208
00:09:16,916 --> 00:09:17,916
- Never?
- No.
209
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,916
- You were at a cocktail party, later you found out that people...
- No.
210
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,916
Have you ever subscribed
to a publication...
211
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:26,500
My entire relationship with Communism is,
20 years ago, I checked a box.
212
00:09:26,583 --> 00:09:28,458
Why is this coming out now?
213
00:09:28,541 --> 00:09:31,333
The committee investigated her
and cleared her.
214
00:09:31,416 --> 00:09:34,833
But then last week, uh, William Wheeler
convened a special session out here,
215
00:09:34,916 --> 00:09:38,750
a private session, called her in again,
and that's why we're sitting here.
216
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:48,291
And nobody's picked it up?
217
00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:50,125
Nobody's picked up the story.
218
00:09:50,208 --> 00:09:52,808
Not a single paper, not a single
news network, including your own.
219
00:09:55,083 --> 00:09:56,583
Maybe.
220
00:09:56,666 --> 00:09:58,041
Maybe we're out of this.
221
00:09:58,125 --> 00:09:59,333
We just don't know yet.
222
00:10:00,416 --> 00:10:01,625
When will we?
223
00:10:02,708 --> 00:10:06,000
If you tape a show Friday night,
means you still have a show.
224
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:11,875
Okay.
225
00:10:20,291 --> 00:10:22,583
You and me,
226
00:10:22,666 --> 00:10:24,791
we've been through worse than this.
227
00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:26,625
We have?
228
00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:27,916
No.
229
00:10:29,458 --> 00:10:31,791
That's what I thought.
230
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:36,583
Hey. The whole piece
was invented out of thin air?
231
00:10:36,666 --> 00:10:40,333
- Huh?
- Four pages, 1,500 words?
232
00:10:40,416 --> 00:10:42,000
Are you being funny right now?
233
00:10:42,083 --> 00:10:44,500
That is the second time
someone's asked me that this morning.
234
00:10:44,583 --> 00:10:46,743
I'm Lucille Ball.
When I'm being funny, you'll know it.
235
00:10:46,791 --> 00:10:49,333
They invented the whole thing?
236
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,250
You don't think we got bigger fish to fry?
237
00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:54,094
- They invented the whole thing?
- Yes, they invented the whole thing.
238
00:10:54,125 --> 00:10:55,405
I was on the boat playing cards.
239
00:10:55,458 --> 00:10:57,875
They invented the whole thing,
and I'm angry at them.
240
00:10:57,958 --> 00:10:59,601
And I'll do something about it,
but right now...
241
00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:00,625
- Got it.
- Hmm.
242
00:11:00,708 --> 00:11:01,958
Priorities.
243
00:11:02,041 --> 00:11:03,041
You're right.
244
00:11:03,125 --> 00:11:05,208
Say that again. "Desi, you're right."
245
00:11:05,291 --> 00:11:06,875
No.
246
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:11,333
Everything's gonna be fine.
247
00:11:11,416 --> 00:11:13,500
Nothing's gonna happen to you.
I won't allow it.
248
00:11:13,583 --> 00:11:16,291
I just won't.
249
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:17,583
Hmm?
250
00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:32,000
- You've never done that before.
- I know.
251
00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:34,291
I've seen other people do it
in movies I've been in.
252
00:11:38,916 --> 00:11:41,583
For the love of God, old man,
this isn't hard.
253
00:11:41,666 --> 00:11:44,625
Rusty Hamer plays Rusty Williams
on The Danny Thomas Show.
254
00:11:44,708 --> 00:11:47,500
He's in second grade,
and they made him sign a loyalty oath
255
00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:49,875
when he signed his contract,
which I think is ugly.
256
00:11:49,958 --> 00:11:52,708
I don't know why this is tripping you up.
It wasn't confusing.
257
00:11:52,791 --> 00:11:54,791
There's no such thing as
The Danny Thomas Show.
258
00:11:54,875 --> 00:11:57,583
It's called Make Room for Daddy.
Don't tell me comedy.
259
00:11:57,666 --> 00:11:59,666
And if Little Rusty is a Communist,
260
00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:01,934
then I'm gonna beat the shit
out of a seven-year-old kid.
261
00:12:01,958 --> 00:12:03,708
- I have no problem with that.
- I'm done.
262
00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,291
That, right there,
263
00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:07,750
was funnier than anything
you've written so far this year.
264
00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:10,208
That's not...
265
00:12:10,291 --> 00:12:12,791
- I've written plenty of funny...
- No.
266
00:12:22,416 --> 00:12:23,541
Good morning!
267
00:12:25,625 --> 00:12:29,125
Mm. Don Glass is directing this week?
268
00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:31,083
We'll be fine.
269
00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:32,392
You're wondering what's going on.
270
00:12:32,416 --> 00:12:35,416
No matter what's going on,
we all support you a thousand percent.
271
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:38,059
I'd like to find out what's going on
before I make that commitment.
272
00:12:38,083 --> 00:12:42,208
A long time ago, Lucy accidentally checked
the wrong box on her voter registration.
273
00:12:42,291 --> 00:12:44,500
That's the first act
of a new episode right there.
274
00:12:44,583 --> 00:12:46,916
- Yeah, "Lucy Gets Blacklisted."
- That's not a joke, Bob.
275
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,000
You made the joke.
I just put the button...
276
00:12:49,083 --> 00:12:50,916
Last week, she testified
in a closed session.
277
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,750
- She was cleared.
- Okay.
278
00:12:52,833 --> 00:12:54,041
Yeah? She was cleared.
279
00:12:54,125 --> 00:12:56,767
So I don't know where Winchell
got his information, but it was wrong.
280
00:12:56,791 --> 00:12:59,083
As you can see, it was not picked up
by any newspaper.
281
00:12:59,166 --> 00:13:00,416
So let's do our show.
282
00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:02,333
Jess, it's your stage.
283
00:13:03,666 --> 00:13:05,208
I Love Lucy, episode 204.
284
00:13:05,291 --> 00:13:07,458
Season two, episode four.
285
00:13:07,541 --> 00:13:09,208
"Ethel and Fred Fight."
286
00:13:09,291 --> 00:13:11,916
Teleplay by Bob Carroll,
Madelyn Pugh and myself.
287
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,500
Took three of you to write this one?
288
00:13:13,583 --> 00:13:16,500
Okay, come on. And directing this week,
Donald Glass is back with us.
289
00:13:16,583 --> 00:13:19,463
- Let's give him a hand.
- - Hey, thanks. It's good to be back.
290
00:13:22,291 --> 00:13:25,291
Act one, "Interior,
the Ricardo's living room, night."
291
00:13:25,375 --> 00:13:27,208
Excuse me. Donald.
292
00:13:27,291 --> 00:13:29,166
- Y-Yes?
- Good morning. I'm Lucille Ball.
293
00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:30,875
I sure know that, Lucy.
294
00:13:30,958 --> 00:13:33,267
I wanted to make sure
because you haven't been here in a while.
295
00:13:33,291 --> 00:13:34,976
Is it because you've been
going through puberty?
296
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,250
I look young, yes,
but I went through it a long time ago,
297
00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:41,083
and I haven't been here because
I've been directing at Danny Thomas.
298
00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:42,833
With the Communist kid?
299
00:13:42,916 --> 00:13:44,083
- Fuck off.
- Jesus Christ.
300
00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:45,566
You don't have to fuck off,
301
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:49,166
but you do need to know that Danny
does jokes... few people do it better.
302
00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:50,958
I do physical comedy.
303
00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:54,541
- I've seen every episode of the show.
- So have 60 million other people.
304
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,666
Are none of them
professional television directors?
305
00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:57,666
She's kidding.
306
00:13:57,750 --> 00:13:58,833
- I can tell.
- Ah.
307
00:13:58,916 --> 00:14:01,041
I'm hazing you a little, Donald.
308
00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:03,565
It's just my way of saying
I have no confidence in you at all.
309
00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:05,833
All right, all right, all right.
310
00:14:05,916 --> 00:14:08,583
We haven't gotten off
to a great start this morning, I think.
311
00:14:08,666 --> 00:14:10,851
And I have no idea what the fuck
you were talking about, Bill.
312
00:14:10,875 --> 00:14:12,875
Ah, Des, I'm begging you, don't ask.
313
00:14:12,958 --> 00:14:14,083
All right, no problem.
314
00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:17,333
I just wanted to say that this show
is made by Desilu Productions,
315
00:14:17,416 --> 00:14:19,958
whose president
is speaking to you right now.
316
00:14:20,041 --> 00:14:24,208
And for the next 30 minutes, I don't want
to hear a word that is not in this script.
317
00:14:24,291 --> 00:14:25,731
- It's your stage.
- Thank you.
318
00:14:26,791 --> 00:14:29,625
"Lucy's putting the finishing touches
on a fancy dinner table...
319
00:14:29,708 --> 00:14:31,458
good china, silver, et cetera."
320
00:14:31,541 --> 00:14:34,083
Uh, the table is set for four
but there are only three chairs.
321
00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:36,851
- I-I should've put that in the, in the stage direction.
- Okay.
322
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:38,684
Well, technically, it's two chairs
and a piano bench.
323
00:14:38,708 --> 00:14:39,875
For a total of?
324
00:14:39,958 --> 00:14:41,291
Three chairs.
325
00:14:41,375 --> 00:14:43,392
"Lucy's putting the finishing
touches on a fancy dinner table...
326
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:44,875
good china, silver, et cetera."
327
00:14:44,958 --> 00:14:47,791
Table's set for four
but there's only three chairs.
328
00:14:47,875 --> 00:14:48,958
"After a moment,
329
00:14:49,041 --> 00:14:50,375
"the door opens and Ricky enters.
330
00:14:50,458 --> 00:14:52,750
"Lucy doesn't hear him.
331
00:14:52,833 --> 00:14:53,851
"Ricky tiptoes in back of her.
332
00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:55,791
- Ricky puts his..."
- Why not?
333
00:14:56,750 --> 00:14:57,750
Sorry?
334
00:14:59,083 --> 00:15:00,375
Why doesn't Lucy hear him?
335
00:15:00,458 --> 00:15:01,767
Well, he's about to do that thing
where you cover someone's eyes
336
00:15:01,791 --> 00:15:02,791
and you say, "Guess who."
337
00:15:02,875 --> 00:15:04,083
I understand it's a setup.
338
00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:05,166
I understand
339
00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:06,875
why we need Lucy to not hear him.
340
00:15:06,958 --> 00:15:11,000
I just don't understand why, in an
apartment this size, Lucy doesn't hear...
341
00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:15,458
or, for that matter, see... the front door
open when she's standing 12 feet from it.
342
00:15:18,541 --> 00:15:19,791
We'll work on that.
343
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:20,916
Thanks.
344
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,880
"Ricky tiptoes in back of her
and reaches around
345
00:15:22,916 --> 00:15:24,666
and covers her eyes with his hands."
346
00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:25,750
Guess who it is.
347
00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:27,625
Bill? Pat?
348
00:15:27,708 --> 00:15:29,625
- Sam?
- No.
349
00:15:29,708 --> 00:15:31,458
- Ralph?
- "Ricky reacts to this."
350
00:15:31,541 --> 00:15:32,958
No, it's me.
351
00:15:33,041 --> 00:15:35,750
Oh, yes, of course.
352
00:15:35,833 --> 00:15:37,166
Oh, hang on.
353
00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:40,291
Are we supposed to believe
that Ricky believes that Lucy
354
00:15:40,375 --> 00:15:42,226
- really doesn't know it's him?
- Want to do this now?
355
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:45,541
That Ricky believes that Lucy is
not only unfamiliar with his voice...
356
00:15:45,625 --> 00:15:48,125
which, let's not forget,
has a Cuban accent...
357
00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:50,666
but that he really believes
there are at least seven other men
358
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:53,000
who routinely walk into their apartment?
359
00:15:53,083 --> 00:15:55,000
She has a pretty good point.
360
00:15:55,083 --> 00:15:58,041
- She has four or five pretty good points.
- All right.
361
00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,184
W-We'll write a better joke
or Ricky will know that Lucy's joking.
362
00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:01,601
- Ah.
- We can change the names.
363
00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:04,208
- Pedro, Pablo, Jose.
- What?
364
00:16:04,291 --> 00:16:05,434
Because they're Spanish names.
365
00:16:05,458 --> 00:16:07,166
I mean Latin names.
366
00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:08,666
They're Cuban names.
367
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,476
Thanks for
clearing that up, professor.
368
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,434
- I'm just, you know...
- Okay, "Ricky takes his hands away
369
00:16:12,458 --> 00:16:13,625
and turns her around."
370
00:16:13,708 --> 00:16:15,916
- No, it's me.
- Oh, yes, of course.
371
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,833
- Uh, uh...
- "She snaps her fingers
372
00:16:17,916 --> 00:16:20,101
and pretends she can't remember his name."
373
00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:22,083
- Very funny.
- "Ricky kisses her
374
00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:23,351
and then notices the table setup."
375
00:16:23,375 --> 00:16:24,583
Hey, company for dinner?
376
00:16:24,666 --> 00:16:25,958
- Uh-huh.
- Who is it?
377
00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:27,583
"Lucy elaborately ignores him."
378
00:16:27,666 --> 00:16:30,166
How do you like
the new water glasses, Ricky?
379
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:31,434
Who's coming for dinner, Lucy?
380
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,875
Doesn't the table look beautiful tonight?
381
00:16:33,958 --> 00:16:35,083
Lucy, who is it?
382
00:16:35,166 --> 00:16:36,708
Some people.
383
00:16:38,041 --> 00:16:39,541
Lucy...
384
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:44,333
Whom is coming here for dinner tonight?
385
00:16:44,416 --> 00:16:47,083
Whom? You mean besides "meem" and "youm"?
386
00:16:49,083 --> 00:16:50,767
Never mind that. What are their names?
387
00:16:50,791 --> 00:16:53,750
- Fred and Ethel Mertz.
- Wait a minute.
388
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:56,809
I thought you said Fred and Ethel had a
big fight and they were mad at each other.
389
00:16:56,833 --> 00:16:57,976
They are.
390
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,767
I thought you said
they weren't speaking to each other.
391
00:16:59,791 --> 00:17:01,250
They aren't.
392
00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:03,625
- And that he was staying at the Y.
- He is.
393
00:17:03,708 --> 00:17:06,083
- And that she won't let him in the house.
- She won't.
394
00:17:06,166 --> 00:17:11,041
Well, if they are and they aren't
and he is and she won't, how come?
395
00:17:11,125 --> 00:17:12,708
Well...
396
00:17:12,791 --> 00:17:15,541
Lucy Esmeralda McGillicuddy Ricardo.
397
00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:16,875
Oh...
398
00:17:16,958 --> 00:17:19,458
That's nice, but is the rhythm
getting old too early?
399
00:17:19,541 --> 00:17:20,750
We'll work on that.
400
00:17:20,833 --> 00:17:23,993
'Cause we want to live up to the quality
of the writing you were used to at RKO.
401
00:17:27,583 --> 00:17:29,458
- That was gutsy.
- That was...
402
00:17:29,541 --> 00:17:33,958
It was a joke about
the writing at RKO and not...
403
00:17:34,041 --> 00:17:35,708
Yeah?
404
00:17:35,791 --> 00:17:37,750
Obviously not an insult aimed at Lucy.
405
00:17:39,791 --> 00:17:42,791
Looking back, it may have been
an insult aimed at Lucy.
406
00:17:42,875 --> 00:17:44,750
Which was very unusual.
407
00:17:44,833 --> 00:17:46,125
Lucy and I were close.
408
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,767
Okay, let's take it from...
409
00:17:49,791 --> 00:17:51,517
Look, she was always tough on the writing,
410
00:17:51,541 --> 00:17:53,333
she pressed down hard on each beat,
411
00:17:53,416 --> 00:17:55,791
but that week...
412
00:17:55,875 --> 00:18:00,083
it was like her life depended on
whether a joke was a "B" or "B"-plus.
413
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:01,934
"She tries to make her way past him
on her way to the kitchen,
414
00:18:01,958 --> 00:18:04,125
but he holds out his hand
and blocks the way."
415
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,517
There was a Broadway show
416
00:18:05,541 --> 00:18:07,625
called Too Many Girls.
417
00:18:07,708 --> 00:18:08,833
It was terrible.
418
00:18:08,916 --> 00:18:11,791
One of the stars of
Too Many Girls was Desi.
419
00:18:11,875 --> 00:18:14,041
Too Many Girls.
420
00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:18,625
RKO decided to make
a very bad Broadway show into...
421
00:18:18,708 --> 00:18:22,041
and I still can't believe it...
an even worse movie.
422
00:18:22,125 --> 00:18:25,541
They kept Desi in the cast,
but the second female lead was replaced
423
00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:28,333
by the queen of the "B" movies,
Lucille Ball.
424
00:18:28,416 --> 00:18:30,166
A couple of days before shooting started,
425
00:18:30,250 --> 00:18:34,791
Desi was on a soundstage working with
a piano and a drum and Ann Miller.
426
00:18:34,875 --> 00:18:37,166
Here's what you have to understand.
427
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:42,041
A more handsome, charming man than Desi
you've never met.
428
00:18:42,125 --> 00:18:45,708
Standing off, away from
the pack of chorus girls, is Lucy,
429
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:49,208
who was unrecognizable because
she was still in the middle of shooting
430
00:18:49,291 --> 00:18:51,791
Dance, Girl, Dance,
playing a burlesque girl
431
00:18:51,875 --> 00:18:53,541
who'd just been beaten up by her pimp.
432
00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:56,333
So she was... unrecognizable.
433
00:18:56,416 --> 00:18:58,083
That's how they met.
434
00:18:58,166 --> 00:19:00,750
♪ She could shake the maracas ♪
435
00:19:02,458 --> 00:19:05,041
♪ He could play the guitar ♪
436
00:19:05,125 --> 00:19:06,875
♪ But he lived in Havana ♪
437
00:19:06,958 --> 00:19:09,750
♪ And she down in Rio del Mar ♪
438
00:19:11,833 --> 00:19:15,166
♪ And she shook the maracas ♪
439
00:19:15,250 --> 00:19:18,750
♪ In a Portuguese bar ♪
440
00:19:18,833 --> 00:19:20,625
♪ While he strummed in Havana ♪
441
00:19:20,708 --> 00:19:23,416
♪ The distance between them was far ♪
442
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:28,291
♪ But by and by ♪
443
00:19:29,541 --> 00:19:32,541
♪ He got a job with a band in Harlem ♪
444
00:19:32,625 --> 00:19:36,541
♪ She got a job with a band in Harlem ♪
445
00:19:36,625 --> 00:19:39,583
♪ Ay, ay, ay ♪
446
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:48,416
♪ He said, "I'm the attraction" ♪
447
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:52,208
♪ She said, "I am the star" ♪
448
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:54,208
♪ But they finally married ♪
449
00:19:54,291 --> 00:19:58,333
♪ And now see how happy they are ♪
450
00:19:58,416 --> 00:20:01,583
♪ So shake your maracas ♪
451
00:20:01,666 --> 00:20:04,750
♪ And play your guitar. ♪
452
00:20:06,666 --> 00:20:07,875
Thank you.
453
00:20:07,958 --> 00:20:09,416
- Mr. Arnaz?
- Yes.
454
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:13,375
I'm Desiderio Alberto Arnaz y de Acha III,
but just my mother calls me that.
455
00:20:13,458 --> 00:20:14,833
- Desi. Desi.
- I'm Angie.
456
00:20:14,916 --> 00:20:17,142
I'm in the chorus and I wanted to say
I'm looking forward to working with you.
457
00:20:17,166 --> 00:20:18,958
I'm looking forward, too, Angie.
458
00:20:19,041 --> 00:20:20,750
- Patty.
- Patty.
459
00:20:20,833 --> 00:20:22,750
- Uh, short for Patricia?
- Yes.
460
00:20:22,833 --> 00:20:25,583
- Also in the chorus?
- Mm-hmm. Dancing chorus.
461
00:20:25,666 --> 00:20:28,416
- Oh.
- "Do you remember the first time we met?
462
00:20:31,083 --> 00:20:34,833
You were rudely attentive,
but now you're obnoxiously indifferent."
463
00:20:34,916 --> 00:20:36,625
What?
464
00:20:36,708 --> 00:20:39,625
It's a line from our movie, dumb-dumb.
465
00:20:39,708 --> 00:20:41,583
Do we know each other?
466
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:45,791
No.
467
00:20:45,875 --> 00:20:47,250
Desi?
468
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,458
I'm Daisy.
469
00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:52,666
♪ A la nanita nana ♪
470
00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:57,083
♪ Nanita ella, nanita ella ♪
471
00:20:57,166 --> 00:20:59,541
♪ Mi niña tiene sueño ♪
472
00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:03,416
♪ Bendito sea, bendito sea ♪
473
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:10,208
♪ Calla mientras la cuna se balancea ♪
474
00:21:10,291 --> 00:21:17,291
♪ A la nanita nana, nanita ella ♪
475
00:21:18,750 --> 00:21:21,083
♪ A la nanita nana ♪
476
00:21:21,166 --> 00:21:25,166
♪ Nanita ella, nanita ella ♪
477
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:27,708
♪ Mi niña tiene sueño ♪
478
00:21:27,791 --> 00:21:31,208
♪ Bendito sea, bendito sea ♪
479
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,750
♪ Mi... ♪
480
00:21:34,833 --> 00:21:37,000
"Do you remember the first time we met?"
481
00:21:37,083 --> 00:21:40,333
If we'd met, I'd remember.
482
00:21:40,416 --> 00:21:42,309
"You were rudely attentive,
but now you're obnoxiously..."
483
00:21:42,333 --> 00:21:44,041
Wait.
484
00:21:44,125 --> 00:21:46,458
- That was you?
- "...indifferent."
485
00:21:46,541 --> 00:21:48,250
That was me, yeah.
486
00:21:48,333 --> 00:21:50,583
- This studio has talented makeup artists.
- "I'm Angie.
487
00:21:50,666 --> 00:21:51,875
"I'm in the chorus.
488
00:21:51,958 --> 00:21:53,976
I just want to say, when I drink,
I take off my clothes."
489
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,708
I'm so curious, I have to ask.
490
00:21:56,791 --> 00:21:59,208
How did you know
Patty was short for Patricia?
491
00:21:59,291 --> 00:22:01,250
- My name is Desiderio Alberto Arnaz...
- Ah.
492
00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:03,208
I don't have that kind of time.
493
00:22:05,125 --> 00:22:06,541
And you're Lucille Ball.
494
00:22:08,458 --> 00:22:10,666
Use a line on me
you've never road-tested on anyone.
495
00:22:10,750 --> 00:22:11,750
I dare you.
496
00:22:16,208 --> 00:22:17,958
Would you like to learn how to rumba?
497
00:22:19,250 --> 00:22:21,666
All right. Nice.
498
00:22:21,750 --> 00:22:23,291
And, yes, I would.
499
00:22:23,375 --> 00:22:26,375
- Ah.
- But there's absolutely no chance you haven't used that before.
500
00:22:49,958 --> 00:22:51,250
Mm-hmm.
501
00:22:54,833 --> 00:22:57,101
I want you to know
I'm not trying to be forward.
502
00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:59,041
I'm showing you this
because it'll come in handy
503
00:22:59,125 --> 00:23:01,500
for your rumba number in the movie.
504
00:23:01,583 --> 00:23:04,000
I don't have a rumba number in the movie.
505
00:23:04,083 --> 00:23:06,041
- No rumba?
- No.
506
00:23:06,125 --> 00:23:09,708
Oh, that's a sign
of a poorly written screenplay.
507
00:23:11,375 --> 00:23:13,583
Well, we should dance to something else.
508
00:23:13,666 --> 00:23:15,500
Sure.
509
00:23:22,791 --> 00:23:25,000
Why did you come to Hollywood?
510
00:23:27,458 --> 00:23:29,416
I got kicked out of New York.
511
00:23:29,500 --> 00:23:32,333
- Seriously.
- I mean it.
512
00:23:32,416 --> 00:23:35,625
I got kicked out of acting school
for not being good enough.
513
00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:39,333
- Get out of here.
- I will not.
514
00:23:41,333 --> 00:23:46,791
I got some modeling work,
I was hired and fired as a Ziegfeld Girl
515
00:23:46,875 --> 00:23:50,541
but hired as a Goldwyn Girl,
and that's what took me out here.
516
00:23:50,625 --> 00:23:52,041
Hmm.
517
00:23:52,125 --> 00:23:53,791
Why did you come to Hollywood?
518
00:23:53,875 --> 00:23:56,083
The Bolsheviks burned my house down.
519
00:23:58,708 --> 00:24:01,500
- So a different reason.
- Mm, yeah.
520
00:24:03,083 --> 00:24:05,083
♪ Lucille ♪
521
00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:10,708
♪ There's not much
that rhymes with "Lucille" ♪
522
00:24:10,791 --> 00:24:12,333
♪ Mm... ♪
523
00:24:12,416 --> 00:24:14,875
♪ Bastille ♪
524
00:24:14,958 --> 00:24:18,958
♪ But who'd write a song about that? ♪
525
00:24:26,083 --> 00:24:28,291
I borrowed part of your tuxedo.
526
00:24:37,458 --> 00:24:40,750
It comes with pants,
but, uh, I'm wearing them.
527
00:24:40,833 --> 00:24:42,666
Not for long, pal.
528
00:24:45,833 --> 00:24:47,416
So...
529
00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:48,875
Yes?
530
00:24:48,958 --> 00:24:50,416
Can I call you Lucy?
531
00:24:50,500 --> 00:24:52,916
I think we should
keep this professional, don't you?
532
00:24:54,291 --> 00:24:55,958
- I was kidding.
- So was I.
533
00:24:56,041 --> 00:24:58,541
Mm. Nice dry delivery.
534
00:24:58,625 --> 00:25:02,083
Uh, what's your, mm...
535
00:25:02,166 --> 00:25:03,166
ambition?
536
00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:05,208
My ambition? For tonight?
537
00:25:05,291 --> 00:25:06,833
I wasn't making myself clear?
538
00:25:06,916 --> 00:25:09,083
No, I don't mean ambition.
539
00:25:09,166 --> 00:25:10,541
Ay, what do I mean?
540
00:25:10,625 --> 00:25:12,375
Uh...
541
00:25:12,458 --> 00:25:14,250
- Goals?
- No.
542
00:25:14,333 --> 00:25:16,250
Mm... future.
543
00:25:16,333 --> 00:25:18,500
- Dreams.
- What are my future dreams?
544
00:25:18,583 --> 00:25:20,291
I should've stuck with ambition.
545
00:25:20,375 --> 00:25:21,583
Are you interviewing me?
546
00:25:21,666 --> 00:25:22,875
Yes.
547
00:25:22,958 --> 00:25:24,583
Okay.
548
00:25:24,666 --> 00:25:26,041
I live in a small house.
549
00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:27,684
And your ambition is
to live in a bigger house.
550
00:25:27,708 --> 00:25:29,291
My ambition is to live in a home.
551
00:25:29,375 --> 00:25:31,375
Like for old folks?
552
00:25:31,458 --> 00:25:34,458
Not a home, not an institution.
553
00:25:34,541 --> 00:25:36,291
- A home.
- Ah.
554
00:25:36,375 --> 00:25:38,625
With a family and dinnertime.
555
00:25:38,708 --> 00:25:41,208
Can I ask an impertinent question?
556
00:25:41,291 --> 00:25:43,750
You gonna ask me why I'm not married?
557
00:25:43,833 --> 00:25:46,166
No, I was going to ask you
why you're not a movie star.
558
00:25:46,250 --> 00:25:50,583
Why are you playing the second female lead
in Too Many Girls?
559
00:25:50,666 --> 00:25:52,375
I'm a contract player at RKO.
560
00:25:52,458 --> 00:25:54,333
I play the roles I'm told to play.
561
00:25:54,416 --> 00:25:56,250
My career's gone as far as it's gonna go.
562
00:25:56,333 --> 00:25:58,500
It's hit cruising altitude.
563
00:25:58,583 --> 00:26:00,166
I'm at peace with that.
564
00:26:00,250 --> 00:26:02,916
So I'd like to be at peace.
565
00:26:04,083 --> 00:26:05,250
I want a home.
566
00:26:05,333 --> 00:26:09,166
You have a lot more talent than the roles
you play have allowed you to exhibit.
567
00:26:09,250 --> 00:26:11,000
Now, how would you know I have talent?
568
00:26:11,083 --> 00:26:12,958
Because I have talent.
569
00:26:13,041 --> 00:26:16,166
You could be a serious actor.
You should be a star by now.
570
00:26:17,375 --> 00:26:19,416
- But...
- But what?
571
00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:22,059
There is also something about
your physicality. You are, you are...
572
00:26:22,083 --> 00:26:23,208
Half naked?
573
00:26:23,291 --> 00:26:25,750
Uh, sure.
574
00:26:25,833 --> 00:26:28,375
- But...
- But?
575
00:26:28,458 --> 00:26:32,125
You, uh... There isn't an English word.
576
00:26:32,208 --> 00:26:35,875
Tú estás... dotada cineticamente.
577
00:26:35,958 --> 00:26:37,041
What does that mean?
578
00:26:37,125 --> 00:26:40,916
It means you're kinetically gifted.
579
00:26:42,416 --> 00:26:43,916
No one's noticed that?
580
00:27:19,333 --> 00:27:21,083
Hi. Sorry.
581
00:27:21,166 --> 00:27:23,250
I need to use the phone to call my fiancé.
582
00:27:23,333 --> 00:27:24,541
Sure.
583
00:27:25,916 --> 00:27:27,291
Wait, what?
584
00:27:27,375 --> 00:27:29,041
It'll just take a second.
585
00:27:29,125 --> 00:27:31,666
Your fiancé?
586
00:27:31,750 --> 00:27:33,250
Outside line please.
587
00:27:33,333 --> 00:27:35,958
I mean, not that I haven't...
588
00:27:36,041 --> 00:27:39,166
It's just that I got the sense that we...
589
00:27:39,250 --> 00:27:40,500
- One sec.
- Yeah.
590
00:27:41,791 --> 00:27:44,000
Last night, I felt it was...
591
00:27:44,083 --> 00:27:46,416
It's me. Hey.
592
00:27:46,500 --> 00:27:48,100
You don't love me, and I don't love you,
593
00:27:48,125 --> 00:27:49,601
and you cheat on me
every chance you can get,
594
00:27:49,625 --> 00:27:52,625
and I pretend I'm stupid,
so I'm moving out.
595
00:27:52,708 --> 00:27:55,875
I'll send someone
to pick up my clothes, okay?
596
00:27:55,958 --> 00:27:58,791
Love you. But, you know, not really.
597
00:28:00,166 --> 00:28:03,250
I interrupted you. What were you saying?
598
00:28:05,375 --> 00:28:07,375
And we fade to black. End of show.
599
00:28:08,666 --> 00:28:09,666
Thank you.
600
00:28:09,750 --> 00:28:11,041
Notes upstairs.
601
00:28:11,125 --> 00:28:14,208
Back onstage in an hour.
602
00:28:14,291 --> 00:28:15,333
- All right.
- All right.
603
00:28:15,416 --> 00:28:16,541
- We'll see ya.
- Yeah.
604
00:28:16,625 --> 00:28:18,333
- Okay, honey. See you in a bit.
- Mm-hmm.
605
00:28:42,666 --> 00:28:43,666
It's madness.
606
00:28:43,750 --> 00:28:44,958
Yeah?
607
00:28:45,041 --> 00:28:47,500
I thought you'd be the first one
to refuse to work with her.
608
00:28:47,583 --> 00:28:49,000
You mean that?
609
00:28:49,083 --> 00:28:51,125
Mm.
610
00:28:51,208 --> 00:28:52,750
You're not fond of Communists.
611
00:28:55,208 --> 00:28:57,250
I'm less fond of the committee.
612
00:28:57,333 --> 00:28:58,750
Ah.
613
00:29:07,583 --> 00:29:08,583
Des.
614
00:29:08,666 --> 00:29:10,833
Hmm?
615
00:29:10,916 --> 00:29:13,375
When the soldiers came
616
00:29:13,458 --> 00:29:15,083
for your family...
617
00:29:17,208 --> 00:29:18,666
...how scary was it?
618
00:29:22,708 --> 00:29:27,208
You're giving me that look that says,
"I don't get scared of nothing."
619
00:29:28,958 --> 00:29:30,958
Uh...
620
00:29:31,041 --> 00:29:33,333
They killed all the animals.
621
00:29:33,416 --> 00:29:34,833
Uh, not-not for food.
622
00:29:34,916 --> 00:29:37,750
They just killed all the animals.
623
00:29:38,791 --> 00:29:40,291
I still don't know why they did that.
624
00:29:40,375 --> 00:29:41,500
Uh...
625
00:29:46,500 --> 00:29:49,166
It's six to five and pick 'em
626
00:29:49,250 --> 00:29:52,541
we've already done
the last episode of this show.
627
00:29:52,625 --> 00:29:55,166
This show, everyone who works here,
628
00:29:55,250 --> 00:29:58,333
Desilu, Lucy's whole career... mine, too...
629
00:29:58,416 --> 00:30:01,500
it may have ended last night
and we just don't know it yet.
630
00:30:04,416 --> 00:30:06,291
Are you out of your mind?
631
00:30:06,375 --> 00:30:08,125
I get plenty scared.
632
00:30:18,250 --> 00:30:19,875
Fucking madness.
633
00:30:39,791 --> 00:30:40,916
Lucy?
634
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:42,625
Come on in.
635
00:30:43,708 --> 00:30:46,833
Madelyn was way out of line,
and I'll talk to Jess.
636
00:30:46,916 --> 00:30:49,291
- No, I don't care about that.
- I care about it.
637
00:30:49,375 --> 00:30:51,750
You told them I checked the wrong box.
638
00:30:51,833 --> 00:30:53,041
Who?
639
00:30:53,125 --> 00:30:55,583
Before the table read.
You told them I checked the wrong box.
640
00:30:55,666 --> 00:30:58,250
Ah.
641
00:30:58,333 --> 00:31:02,708
Uh, uh, well, it takes fewer words
to say that than the truth.
642
00:31:02,791 --> 00:31:04,375
Doesn't make me look like a simpleton
643
00:31:04,458 --> 00:31:06,875
who's ill-equipped
to participate in democracy?
644
00:31:06,958 --> 00:31:09,458
It was simpler,
and it's nobody's goddamn business.
645
00:31:09,541 --> 00:31:11,500
Well, no.
646
00:31:11,583 --> 00:31:13,517
Pretty obviously
it's everybody's goddamn business.
647
00:31:13,541 --> 00:31:15,958
Ay.
648
00:31:18,458 --> 00:31:20,625
You-you... you don't have to keep
checking the papers.
649
00:31:20,708 --> 00:31:23,875
I've got people who'll let me know
the moment an editor thinks about it.
650
00:31:23,958 --> 00:31:25,851
There's something wrong
with the story, they know it,
651
00:31:25,875 --> 00:31:27,791
and that's why
no one's reporting on Winchell.
652
00:31:27,875 --> 00:31:31,250
No. The Confidential story.
653
00:31:31,333 --> 00:31:33,041
That's what's getting picked up.
654
00:31:51,583 --> 00:31:53,541
I like this a lot, Tommy.
655
00:31:53,625 --> 00:31:55,851
- That's a great color for you.
- Oh, I really like this.
656
00:31:55,875 --> 00:31:57,625
And I can cinch the back a little.
657
00:31:57,708 --> 00:31:59,868
- I can lower the neckline.
- Oh, not on CBS you can't.
658
00:32:01,541 --> 00:32:03,083
But still, now we're talking.
659
00:32:03,166 --> 00:32:04,500
Now we're cooking with gas.
660
00:32:04,583 --> 00:32:07,583
- Should I bring out some shoes?
- Oh, yes, please.
661
00:32:10,833 --> 00:32:11,916
Yeah?
662
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,416
That's a nice dress.
663
00:32:13,500 --> 00:32:15,625
I thought so, too.
664
00:32:15,708 --> 00:32:18,041
You borrowing it from wardrobe
for a cocktail party?
665
00:32:18,125 --> 00:32:19,500
Dinner party.
666
00:32:19,583 --> 00:32:20,583
Where?
667
00:32:20,666 --> 00:32:23,583
The apartment of Ricky and Lucy Ricardo.
668
00:32:23,666 --> 00:32:24,666
This is for the show?
669
00:32:24,750 --> 00:32:26,958
- Lucy's invited Ethel...
- Oh, Viv.
670
00:32:27,041 --> 00:32:28,125
I know, but listen.
671
00:32:28,208 --> 00:32:29,888
I'm thinking Lucy's invited her to dinner.
672
00:32:29,916 --> 00:32:33,333
She thinks she's being fixed up
with an eligible guy.
673
00:32:33,416 --> 00:32:34,750
She'd want to look nice.
674
00:32:36,916 --> 00:32:38,625
It's something new for the character.
675
00:32:38,708 --> 00:32:41,208
But the character's
still Ethel Mertz, right?
676
00:32:41,291 --> 00:32:42,500
Yeah.
677
00:32:46,375 --> 00:32:47,291
Hey, don't.
678
00:32:47,375 --> 00:32:50,000
"Does Desi Love Lucy Loosely?"
679
00:32:50,083 --> 00:32:51,791
They took time on that.
680
00:32:51,875 --> 00:32:54,750
"If neighbors hear screams of rage
followed by the sound of..."
681
00:32:54,833 --> 00:32:56,809
- Isn't there enough going on with...
- "...breaking crockery coming from
682
00:32:56,833 --> 00:32:59,017
- the Arnaz house this month..."
- I'd be more concerned about...
683
00:32:59,041 --> 00:33:00,851
"...they'll know what is happening
without having to investigate.
684
00:33:00,875 --> 00:33:02,517
"The red-haired missus
has just finished reading
685
00:33:02,541 --> 00:33:03,934
- Confidential's report on..."
- In your life, have you ever
686
00:33:03,958 --> 00:33:05,708
taken this stuff seriously?
687
00:33:05,791 --> 00:33:07,916
I take my marriage seriously.
688
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,708
And Desi said?
689
00:33:09,791 --> 00:33:13,166
"Lucy, I ain't been with no girls
since the moment I saw you."
690
00:33:13,250 --> 00:33:15,125
- Then believe him.
- I do believe him.
691
00:33:15,208 --> 00:33:16,601
It's an old picture.
We were there together.
692
00:33:16,625 --> 00:33:18,375
He was playing cards
on the boat Wednesday.
693
00:33:18,458 --> 00:33:20,458
You'd be more concerned about what?
694
00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:23,041
- What?
- You said you'd "be more concerned about,"
695
00:33:23,125 --> 00:33:24,166
and I cut you off.
696
00:33:24,250 --> 00:33:25,291
The Winchell broadcast?
697
00:33:25,375 --> 00:33:26,958
Yeah.
698
00:33:27,041 --> 00:33:29,000
I don't get to choose just one.
699
00:33:29,083 --> 00:33:31,458
I'm concerned with both,
the first thing, second thing.
700
00:33:31,541 --> 00:33:33,833
Understood. What about the third?
701
00:33:33,916 --> 00:33:35,291
What'd they say?
702
00:33:35,375 --> 00:33:38,708
We didn't think yesterday was the best day
to tell them about the third thing.
703
00:33:38,791 --> 00:33:40,583
- Right.
- We're doing it now.
704
00:33:40,666 --> 00:33:45,000
First Jess, then the network,
then Philip Morris.
705
00:33:46,083 --> 00:33:47,958
Could be worse.
706
00:33:48,041 --> 00:33:49,208
How?
707
00:33:49,291 --> 00:33:51,083
You could be playing Ethel.
708
00:33:51,166 --> 00:33:52,666
Got it.
709
00:34:06,125 --> 00:34:08,291
Is Lucy on the phone too long at the top?
710
00:34:08,375 --> 00:34:11,791
We only hear one side of the call.
Are we staying too long at the fair?
711
00:34:13,208 --> 00:34:15,958
You don't need to write down
everything we say in here.
712
00:34:19,708 --> 00:34:21,250
We'll know when it's on its feet.
713
00:34:21,333 --> 00:34:22,666
Good morning.
714
00:34:22,750 --> 00:34:24,625
Morning, guys.
715
00:34:24,708 --> 00:34:25,791
Hey.
716
00:34:25,875 --> 00:34:28,101
Mary Pat, would you mind
giving us the room for a moment please?
717
00:34:28,125 --> 00:34:30,750
- Of course, Mr. Arnaz.
- Thank you.
718
00:34:36,458 --> 00:34:38,958
- "Of course, Mr. Arnaz."
- She's nice.
719
00:34:39,041 --> 00:34:40,166
You're in enough trouble.
720
00:34:40,250 --> 00:34:41,458
You're not in trouble.
721
00:34:41,541 --> 00:34:43,000
We need to talk.
722
00:34:43,083 --> 00:34:45,163
- No, don't tell me...
- No, no, no, no. No, we're...
723
00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:46,208
No, no, we're still okay.
724
00:34:46,291 --> 00:34:47,517
- No one's picked up the story.
- All right.
725
00:34:47,541 --> 00:34:48,851
Looking at Lucy's face,
I thought for sure...
726
00:34:48,875 --> 00:34:50,208
I'm pregnant.
727
00:34:54,666 --> 00:34:56,500
That's not at all what I was gonna say.
728
00:34:56,583 --> 00:34:58,458
That's what we came to talk about.
729
00:34:58,541 --> 00:35:01,416
We were gonna have this conversation
yesterday, but other things were...
730
00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:04,000
- Yeah, yeah, sure.
- Well, this is a one-two punch.
731
00:35:04,083 --> 00:35:05,541
It's not a punch. I'm having a baby.
732
00:35:07,083 --> 00:35:09,041
What do we do now?
733
00:35:12,833 --> 00:35:15,041
I know it seems like
no one said congratulations,
734
00:35:15,125 --> 00:35:16,809
- but that cannot be, as these are three of...
- No, no, no, no.
735
00:35:16,833 --> 00:35:18,601
- ...our closest friends and colleagues.
- You're right. You're right. Sorry.
736
00:35:18,625 --> 00:35:19,976
- Oh, it's wonderful news.
- Yeah, hey, congratulations.
737
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:21,184
- Yes! Congratulations.
- Yeah, that's great.
738
00:35:21,208 --> 00:35:22,458
- Thank you.
- Another baby.
739
00:35:22,541 --> 00:35:23,916
- Gracias.
- Yeah, mazel tov.
740
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,601
- Gracias. Gracias.
- Really, really. - Congratulations, Des.
741
00:35:25,625 --> 00:35:27,666
- Very happy. Very happy.
- Yeah.
742
00:35:27,750 --> 00:35:29,625
- Very exciting. Yeah.
- So, uh...
743
00:35:29,708 --> 00:35:31,166
Yeah.
744
00:35:31,250 --> 00:35:33,250
With Lucie,
I was the size of a phone booth, so...
745
00:35:33,333 --> 00:35:34,791
Yeah.
746
00:35:34,875 --> 00:35:36,934
You've got about seven weeks
before you have to start
747
00:35:36,958 --> 00:35:39,166
hiding me behind boxes and chairs,
748
00:35:39,250 --> 00:35:43,125
and then another seven weeks after that
before I won't fit in the frame.
749
00:35:43,208 --> 00:35:44,541
- What do you want to do?
- Do?
750
00:35:44,625 --> 00:35:46,250
Whatever there was to do, we've done it.
751
00:35:46,333 --> 00:35:49,083
- Where does that leave us?
- Without a choice.
752
00:35:49,166 --> 00:35:51,583
Lucy Ricardo is gonna have a baby
on television.
753
00:35:53,500 --> 00:35:54,934
- No, no, Des.
- How many scripts in the bank?
754
00:35:54,958 --> 00:35:56,184
We're-we're five ahead of production.
755
00:35:56,208 --> 00:35:57,392
We're shooting four
and we're writing nine.
756
00:35:57,416 --> 00:35:59,291
Four. No harm done.
757
00:35:59,375 --> 00:36:02,000
But whatever script you're working on now,
758
00:36:02,083 --> 00:36:04,375
- episode nine, scratch it.
- Okay.
759
00:36:04,458 --> 00:36:07,708
Episode... no, episode nine is now
"Lucy Tells Ricky She's Pregnant,"
760
00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:09,666
and we work from there.
What's that one?
761
00:36:10,791 --> 00:36:12,833
- Which one?
- "Lucy Goes to Italy."
762
00:36:12,916 --> 00:36:14,476
We want to send the four of you to Italy.
763
00:36:14,500 --> 00:36:16,642
- Why?
- We think it'd be nice to get off our set.
764
00:36:16,666 --> 00:36:18,916
No, why do the Ricardos
and Mertzes go to Italy?
765
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,333
- A vacation.
- They don't vacation in Europe.
766
00:36:21,416 --> 00:36:23,583
They go to the Grand Canyon.
767
00:36:23,666 --> 00:36:25,500
- They go to Niagara Falls.
- Work.
768
00:36:25,583 --> 00:36:27,767
- Ricky's got a gig at a club in Rome.
- And what does Lucy do?
769
00:36:27,791 --> 00:36:30,000
She stomps grapes.
770
00:36:30,083 --> 00:36:32,291
Lucy and Ethel go to an Italian vineyard.
771
00:36:32,375 --> 00:36:34,083
- Why?
- We don't know yet.
772
00:36:34,166 --> 00:36:35,875
And she stomps grapes.
773
00:36:35,958 --> 00:36:38,708
This vineyard is located
in the 19th century?
774
00:36:38,791 --> 00:36:40,642
- They don't stomp grapes anymore?
- No.
775
00:36:40,666 --> 00:36:43,309
Okay, so we find the one
vineyard where they still stomp grapes.
776
00:36:43,333 --> 00:36:45,041
Come in.
777
00:36:45,125 --> 00:36:47,833
- Sì, signora. You sent for me?
- Yes.
778
00:36:47,916 --> 00:36:49,916
Are there any grape vineyards around here?
779
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,666
I'd like to know how they make the wine,
780
00:36:51,750 --> 00:36:54,750
how they pick the grapes, how they press
the juice out with their feet.
781
00:36:54,833 --> 00:36:56,559
There is one little town called Turo
782
00:36:56,583 --> 00:36:59,000
- where they still make the wine that way.
- Easy.
783
00:36:59,083 --> 00:37:01,083
Why does she want to go to a vineyard?
784
00:37:01,166 --> 00:37:02,958
We don't know yet.
785
00:37:03,041 --> 00:37:04,958
She has an audition for an Italian movie.
786
00:37:05,041 --> 00:37:06,767
What does that have to do
with stomping grapes?
787
00:37:06,791 --> 00:37:07,958
The part.
788
00:37:08,041 --> 00:37:10,166
She happens to be just the type I need.
789
00:37:10,250 --> 00:37:12,833
The role of a beautiful Italian redhead
790
00:37:12,916 --> 00:37:15,416
who, uh... como si dice...
uh, steps on grapes.
791
00:37:18,041 --> 00:37:19,833
We'll get there. The point is
792
00:37:19,916 --> 00:37:21,934
Lucy in a vat of grapes for five minutes.
793
00:37:21,958 --> 00:37:23,625
I can see it.
794
00:37:46,333 --> 00:37:48,958
What can happen in the vat of grapes?
What can she do?
795
00:37:54,541 --> 00:37:56,166
It doesn't matter right now.
796
00:37:56,250 --> 00:37:59,333
We need to get back to...
Des, the network isn't gonna allow it
797
00:37:59,416 --> 00:38:01,125
and neither will Philip Morris. Lucy...
798
00:38:01,208 --> 00:38:02,833
Just hang on.
799
00:38:08,166 --> 00:38:09,791
- She loses an earring.
- Yes.
800
00:38:09,875 --> 00:38:11,017
- There it is.
- What are you talking about?
801
00:38:11,041 --> 00:38:12,083
In the grapes.
802
00:38:32,541 --> 00:38:34,208
Push it to next year.
803
00:38:34,291 --> 00:38:36,142
They're not going to Italy
while she's pregnant.
804
00:38:36,166 --> 00:38:38,458
I'll bet you my next paycheck
against your next paycheck
805
00:38:38,541 --> 00:38:40,741
that CBS won't even allow us
to use the word "pregnant."
806
00:38:40,791 --> 00:38:43,750
- "Lucy Tells the Truth."
- That one's Madelyn's idea.
807
00:38:43,833 --> 00:38:46,375
- She got it just seconds after I pitched it.
- Folks...
808
00:38:46,458 --> 00:38:49,166
Ricky bets Lucy
that she can't go two days without lying,
809
00:38:49,250 --> 00:38:51,059
and we put her in situations
where it's hard not to lie.
810
00:38:51,083 --> 00:38:53,000
Okay, it's started.
811
00:38:53,083 --> 00:38:54,750
For the next 48 hours.
812
00:38:54,833 --> 00:38:56,208
- Okay.
- All right.
813
00:38:56,291 --> 00:38:58,833
I can hardly wait
to hear you tomorrow afternoon, Lucy.
814
00:38:58,916 --> 00:39:00,000
Why?
815
00:39:00,083 --> 00:39:01,559
We're playing bridge
at Carolyn's, remember?
816
00:39:01,583 --> 00:39:04,125
Oh, no, no, no.
817
00:39:04,208 --> 00:39:05,833
I can't spend the afternoon
818
00:39:05,916 --> 00:39:07,636
with three women
and have to tell the truth.
819
00:39:07,666 --> 00:39:10,750
I'll call Carolyn and tell her I'm sick.
820
00:39:12,458 --> 00:39:14,416
After 47 hours,
821
00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:16,958
- she's winning, but in the final hour...
- Here it is.
822
00:39:17,041 --> 00:39:19,517
...Ricky gets a visit from
the IRS, and the guy wants to ask about
823
00:39:19,541 --> 00:39:22,416
some questionable things
that Ricky's claiming on his deductions.
824
00:39:22,500 --> 00:39:25,226
Lucy's sitting in the living room, too,
and of course when she's asked
825
00:39:25,250 --> 00:39:28,041
by the IRS agent to corroborate,
she can't tell a lie, so...
826
00:39:28,125 --> 00:39:29,333
That's a funny premise.
827
00:39:29,416 --> 00:39:30,750
Yes, it is.
828
00:39:30,833 --> 00:39:32,458
But lose the IRS scene.
829
00:39:32,541 --> 00:39:33,892
- Could be a good scene.
- He's correct.
830
00:39:33,916 --> 00:39:35,142
Once I write it, it could be good.
831
00:39:35,166 --> 00:39:36,833
Ah, Ricky Ricardo loves America.
832
00:39:36,916 --> 00:39:38,208
He loves being an American.
833
00:39:38,291 --> 00:39:40,083
He's grateful to this country.
834
00:39:40,166 --> 00:39:41,416
He'd never cheat on his taxes.
835
00:39:41,500 --> 00:39:44,184
- It's very relatable. Everybody does.
- I don't! Neither does Ricky.
836
00:39:44,208 --> 00:39:47,000
Especially when his wife is accused
of being un-American.
837
00:39:47,083 --> 00:39:50,708
Look for something else, and
start working on the first pregnancy show.
838
00:39:50,791 --> 00:39:52,125
- Listen to me.
- What?
839
00:39:52,208 --> 00:39:53,791
They're not gonna let us do it.
840
00:39:53,875 --> 00:39:56,583
- Let that be my problem.
- Oh, I wish I could, Des,
841
00:39:56,666 --> 00:39:58,458
but it's very much my problem, okay?
842
00:39:58,541 --> 00:40:01,750
So instead of talking about
goddamn grapes, why don't...
843
00:40:02,833 --> 00:40:04,583
Look, what you got to understand is this.
844
00:40:04,666 --> 00:40:06,309
- We don't know...
- Jess, they're free to take us off the air
845
00:40:06,333 --> 00:40:09,375
for the rest of the year
while continuing to pay our contracts
846
00:40:09,458 --> 00:40:12,083
and answering questions about
why motherhood is too salacious
847
00:40:12,166 --> 00:40:16,041
to put on CBS, but something tells me
they're not gonna go that route.
848
00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:19,750
Instead, I think Broadcast Standards
and Practices will give you
849
00:40:19,833 --> 00:40:22,666
a list of insane restrictions,
which might even include
850
00:40:22,750 --> 00:40:24,851
you winning your bet with Desi,
and which I have no doubt
851
00:40:24,875 --> 00:40:28,375
the three of you
will navigate beautifully.
852
00:40:28,458 --> 00:40:29,583
You told me to be nice.
853
00:40:29,666 --> 00:40:31,541
Good?
854
00:40:31,625 --> 00:40:33,125
Yeah.
855
00:40:38,958 --> 00:40:42,083
I don't care what your first thoughts
out of the gate were,
856
00:40:42,166 --> 00:40:45,208
but your first words out of the gate
were no good.
857
00:40:45,291 --> 00:40:47,291
And what was with you at the table read?
858
00:40:48,375 --> 00:40:50,833
I'm sorry. She was jumping
on every stage direction.
859
00:40:50,916 --> 00:40:51,958
It's her process.
860
00:40:52,041 --> 00:40:54,500
- But that process usually happens in private.
- Yes.
861
00:40:54,583 --> 00:40:56,791
And following your advice,
maybe every once in a while,
862
00:40:56,875 --> 00:40:59,916
the first words out of her mouth
could be "good script."
863
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,041
Well, is this the right week
for this shit?
864
00:41:04,125 --> 00:41:06,500
- Hey.
- We do seem to be having some success, no?
865
00:41:06,583 --> 00:41:09,208
We're all really tired from
working on this week's script.
866
00:41:09,291 --> 00:41:11,291
Oh, are you sleepy? You need a nap?
867
00:41:11,375 --> 00:41:13,215
- Can I talk to you for a second, boss?
- Sure.
868
00:41:20,208 --> 00:41:21,808
I'm the executive producer of this show.
869
00:41:21,875 --> 00:41:23,892
You can't manhandle me like that
in front of other people.
870
00:41:23,916 --> 00:41:25,458
You just can't do it. My show.
871
00:41:25,541 --> 00:41:26,976
And Madelyn was a hundred percent right.
872
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:28,916
- Ricky pays his taxes.
- I get it.
873
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:31,041
And we're having the baby on the show.
874
00:41:31,125 --> 00:41:33,125
There's no chance they say yes.
875
00:41:34,208 --> 00:41:36,875
There's no chance they say yes to you.
876
00:41:41,458 --> 00:41:43,458
Did you get all that?
877
00:41:43,541 --> 00:41:44,458
Yes.
878
00:41:44,541 --> 00:41:46,125
That was a joke.
879
00:41:47,125 --> 00:41:49,416
Back to right before Vivian's entrance.
880
00:41:49,500 --> 00:41:51,166
"When do we eat?"
881
00:41:51,250 --> 00:41:53,333
Settle. And action.
882
00:41:53,416 --> 00:41:55,875
Uh, when do we eat?
883
00:41:55,958 --> 00:41:58,083
I've been living on
peanut butter sandwiches.
884
00:41:58,166 --> 00:42:00,226
Bill, that line's
got to take you over to the table.
885
00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:01,892
- Hmm?
- You need to cross to the table on that.
886
00:42:01,916 --> 00:42:03,166
Why?
887
00:42:03,250 --> 00:42:04,726
- Because we need to...
- So you can see the table,
888
00:42:04,750 --> 00:42:07,666
notice that a fourth place is set
and say your next line.
889
00:42:09,833 --> 00:42:11,791
Uh, someone else coming?
890
00:42:11,875 --> 00:42:16,250
Well, Fred, I took the liberty of asking
a young lady to be your dinner companion.
891
00:42:16,333 --> 00:42:18,500
- A young lady?
- A cute young chick.
892
00:42:18,583 --> 00:42:21,041
- Oh, boy, bring her on.
- Uh-uh.
893
00:42:21,125 --> 00:42:22,625
- Hang on.
- What?
894
00:42:22,708 --> 00:42:24,916
When I say, "I took the liberty of asking
895
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:26,892
- a young lady to be your dinner companion..."
- Mm-hmm.
896
00:42:26,916 --> 00:42:30,375
...Ricky should take a sip from a glass of
water on the table to keep from laughing.
897
00:42:30,458 --> 00:42:32,142
- And then when I say, "A cute young chick..."
- Uh-huh.
898
00:42:32,166 --> 00:42:33,601
...he should choke on his water a little.
899
00:42:33,625 --> 00:42:35,375
- I like that.
- I like it, too.
900
00:42:35,458 --> 00:42:39,416
The very idea that Ethel's
a cute young chick should make Desi choke.
901
00:42:41,250 --> 00:42:42,708
That's 15.
902
00:42:42,791 --> 00:42:44,916
- Okay.
- That's 15 minutes!
903
00:42:46,500 --> 00:42:47,708
I'll be funny by Friday.
904
00:42:47,791 --> 00:42:50,458
And when can we expect you to be funny?
905
00:43:04,708 --> 00:43:07,416
"Exactly what makes a husband leave home
906
00:43:07,500 --> 00:43:10,958
- is something that has been baffling wives since Adam and Eve."
- Enough.
907
00:43:11,041 --> 00:43:14,500
"For an outstanding example, let's take
one of the nation's most famous husbands."
908
00:43:14,583 --> 00:43:17,103
- You've memorized it?
- I've memorized worse writing than this.
909
00:43:17,166 --> 00:43:19,708
- Yes, it's a tabloid.
- "With a curvy, red-haired tidbit
910
00:43:19,791 --> 00:43:24,333
like Lucy waiting for him at home,
would Desi be foolish enough..."
911
00:43:24,416 --> 00:43:27,083
- Stop it.
- "...to prowl Hollywood like a bachelor wolf?
912
00:43:27,166 --> 00:43:29,166
- If so, why?"
- It's made up.
913
00:43:30,250 --> 00:43:32,375
- 20 million readers want to know.
- Lucy...
914
00:43:32,458 --> 00:43:34,625
- 20 million and one.
- How many times
915
00:43:34,708 --> 00:43:37,708
I got to 'splain where I was
and what I was doing?
916
00:43:37,791 --> 00:43:39,833
How many times you got to 'splain?
917
00:43:39,916 --> 00:43:42,291
I can't get enough of that joke.
918
00:43:43,500 --> 00:43:45,125
They document an entire night.
919
00:43:45,208 --> 00:43:47,083
Someone in your gang's a rat.
920
00:43:47,166 --> 00:43:48,166
My gang.
921
00:43:49,958 --> 00:43:53,500
The night they're talking about,
I was with Red Skelton and Xavier Cugat.
922
00:43:53,583 --> 00:43:56,708
- Which one of them you think squealed?
- They made it up from nothing?
923
00:43:56,791 --> 00:43:59,017
I heard on Winchell the other night
that you were a Communist.
924
00:43:59,041 --> 00:44:01,083
That was true, you idiot!
925
00:44:01,166 --> 00:44:03,083
Yeah. That was a bad example.
926
00:44:03,166 --> 00:44:04,666
And I didn't check the wrong box.
927
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:07,750
Okay, I'm sorry about that.
928
00:44:09,208 --> 00:44:11,416
I believe you.
929
00:44:11,500 --> 00:44:13,583
- I'm just messing around.
- Good.
930
00:44:14,916 --> 00:44:18,000
No. That gets you out of the woods,
but it puts you into other woods.
931
00:44:18,083 --> 00:44:19,250
What are the other woods?
932
00:44:19,333 --> 00:44:21,375
You don't come home anymore.
Did you know that?
933
00:44:21,458 --> 00:44:23,791
- You change subjects faster than...
- Keep up.
934
00:44:23,875 --> 00:44:25,166
It's not hard.
935
00:44:25,250 --> 00:44:28,416
I asked, "Did you know
you don't come home anymore?"
936
00:44:28,500 --> 00:44:29,833
Of course I come home.
937
00:44:29,916 --> 00:44:32,750
Sometimes I go to the boat and play cards.
938
00:44:32,833 --> 00:44:35,875
We drink, it goes late,
it's easier to sleep on the boat.
939
00:44:37,625 --> 00:44:39,375
That used to be once a week, then twice.
940
00:44:39,458 --> 00:44:41,875
Now it's four or five times.
941
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:46,125
I go home after work, you go to the boat.
942
00:44:48,416 --> 00:44:50,208
You once asked me what my ambition was.
943
00:44:50,291 --> 00:44:51,291
You remember?
944
00:44:51,375 --> 00:44:53,666
Mm-hmm.
945
00:44:53,750 --> 00:44:55,750
And you liked my answer.
946
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,458
She used the word "home" a lot.
947
00:45:00,541 --> 00:45:04,000
She talked about having a home.
948
00:45:04,083 --> 00:45:08,041
Lucy owned three houses,
but sometimes, when she fell into a funk,
949
00:45:08,125 --> 00:45:11,833
she'd say... she didn't have a home.
950
00:45:11,916 --> 00:45:14,000
They eloped.
951
00:45:14,083 --> 00:45:15,625
They bought a ranch in Chatsworth.
952
00:45:15,708 --> 00:45:19,833
They were deeply in love
and deliriously happy.
953
00:45:19,916 --> 00:45:23,625
What you got to understand is
they weren't very happy.
954
00:45:23,708 --> 00:45:25,458
They never saw each other.
955
00:45:25,541 --> 00:45:28,916
Desi and his orchestra
were booked at Ciro's.
956
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,875
Lucy was under contract at RKO.
957
00:45:31,958 --> 00:45:36,458
Desi would be done with work
around 4:00 a.m.
958
00:45:36,541 --> 00:45:38,625
Lucy had to be
in hair and makeup at 5:00 a.m.
959
00:45:38,708 --> 00:45:40,833
They'd meet at the top of Mulholland.
960
00:45:45,833 --> 00:45:47,916
♪ Babalú ♪
961
00:45:48,958 --> 00:45:51,083
♪ Babalú ♪
962
00:45:52,375 --> 00:45:53,583
♪ Babalú ♪
963
00:45:53,666 --> 00:45:55,208
♪ Ayé ♪
964
00:45:55,291 --> 00:45:58,000
♪ Babalú ayé ♪
965
00:46:09,458 --> 00:46:11,791
♪ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♪
966
00:46:11,875 --> 00:46:14,750
- ♪ Ol é, ol é, ol é, olé ♪
- ♪ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♪
967
00:46:14,833 --> 00:46:16,500
♪ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♪
968
00:46:16,583 --> 00:46:19,708
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
969
00:46:19,791 --> 00:46:23,375
- ♪ Arriba con la conga ♪
- ♪ Arriba con la conga. ♪
970
00:46:40,791 --> 00:46:42,750
- What do we have here?
- Yeah, Desi!
971
00:46:42,833 --> 00:46:43,958
A lot of choices.
972
00:46:44,041 --> 00:46:46,791
There's only one choice for me,
and she's got a powerful right hook.
973
00:46:46,875 --> 00:46:50,291
My friend and I saw the midnight show
and the 2:00 a.m.
974
00:46:51,666 --> 00:46:53,250
Thank you.
975
00:46:53,333 --> 00:46:55,125
Aw.
976
00:47:18,750 --> 00:47:20,083
I did the calculation.
977
00:47:20,166 --> 00:47:21,541
In the course of one week,
978
00:47:21,625 --> 00:47:24,583
I see you 1/20th as much
as your second trombone player.
979
00:47:25,666 --> 00:47:28,750
Well, learn to play the trombone,
and I'll give you his job.
980
00:47:28,833 --> 00:47:31,041
Well, how hard is the trombone?
981
00:47:33,041 --> 00:47:36,500
Ay, maybe it'd be better
if we didn't spend the little time we have
982
00:47:36,583 --> 00:47:39,666
arguing about why we don't have more time.
983
00:47:39,750 --> 00:47:43,000
Don't make me feel like a bitch
because I want to see my husband.
984
00:47:43,083 --> 00:47:45,416
Hey.
985
00:47:45,500 --> 00:47:49,625
I-I could stay home
and be kept by my wife.
986
00:47:50,625 --> 00:47:53,666
I mean, that'd really complete the picture
Americans have of Cuban men.
987
00:47:53,750 --> 00:47:55,916
What home are you talking about?
988
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:59,875
Or you could quit the film business
and just be my wife.
989
00:47:59,958 --> 00:48:01,875
But you ain't gonna do that, right?
990
00:48:01,958 --> 00:48:03,333
No.
991
00:48:03,416 --> 00:48:05,536
How about you come to the club more
to watch the show?
992
00:48:08,166 --> 00:48:09,875
I had a picture open five days ago.
993
00:48:09,958 --> 00:48:12,125
You really want me
to come down to the club?
994
00:48:12,208 --> 00:48:13,708
Why not?
995
00:48:15,208 --> 00:48:17,000
Okay.
996
00:48:19,708 --> 00:48:22,375
♪ They call me Cuban Pete ♪
997
00:48:22,458 --> 00:48:24,916
♪ I'm the king of the rumba beat ♪
998
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,416
♪ When I play the maracas, I go ♪
999
00:48:26,500 --> 00:48:29,500
♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪
1000
00:48:29,583 --> 00:48:31,458
♪ Yes, sir, I'm Cuban Pete ♪
1001
00:48:31,541 --> 00:48:33,750
♪ I'm the craze of my native street ♪
1002
00:48:33,833 --> 00:48:35,666
♪ When I start to dance, everything goes ♪
1003
00:48:35,750 --> 00:48:38,166
♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪
1004
00:48:38,250 --> 00:48:41,041
♪ The señoritas, they sing ♪
1005
00:48:41,125 --> 00:48:43,666
♪ And how they swing with this rumbero ♪
1006
00:48:43,750 --> 00:48:45,666
♪ It's very nice ♪
1007
00:48:45,750 --> 00:48:47,041
♪ So full of spice ♪
1008
00:48:48,208 --> 00:48:50,041
♪ And when they're dancing ♪
1009
00:48:50,125 --> 00:48:52,541
♪ They bring a happy ring, the maraquero ♪
1010
00:48:52,625 --> 00:48:54,375
♪ Singing a song ♪
1011
00:48:54,458 --> 00:48:56,625
♪ All the day long. ♪
1012
00:48:56,708 --> 00:48:59,291
Ah! What do we have here?
1013
00:48:59,375 --> 00:49:01,083
Lucy!
1014
00:49:06,291 --> 00:49:07,934
This way, Miss Ball! Hollywood Citizen!
1015
00:49:07,958 --> 00:49:09,625
We love you in the movie!
1016
00:49:09,708 --> 00:49:11,708
- Thank you.
- Wasn't the show fun?
1017
00:49:16,500 --> 00:49:18,666
Come on in.
1018
00:49:20,333 --> 00:49:21,333
Good morning.
1019
00:49:21,416 --> 00:49:23,083
Hey, Maddie.
1020
00:49:23,166 --> 00:49:24,916
Some week, huh?
1021
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,041
Lucille Ball's a threat
to the American way of life?
1022
00:49:27,125 --> 00:49:29,625
She's a threat to writers,
camera operators and Desi,
1023
00:49:29,708 --> 00:49:30,791
but it really stops there.
1024
00:49:30,875 --> 00:49:32,708
Have you ever had a week like this?
1025
00:49:32,791 --> 00:49:35,083
No, but we work in Hollywood,
and something tells me
1026
00:49:35,166 --> 00:49:37,642
we're all gonna have weeks like this
before that committee's done.
1027
00:49:39,375 --> 00:49:41,125
- Look what you can still do.
- Still?
1028
00:49:41,208 --> 00:49:43,750
I regretted it even before I said it.
1029
00:49:43,833 --> 00:49:46,000
I can't do that, and I'm just impressed.
1030
00:49:46,083 --> 00:49:47,250
What's in your hands?
1031
00:49:47,333 --> 00:49:49,125
I got you some breakfast
from the commissary.
1032
00:49:49,208 --> 00:49:50,808
They told me you didn't have any, but...
1033
00:49:50,875 --> 00:49:53,458
I did. I had a cup of coffee
and half a grapefruit.
1034
00:49:53,541 --> 00:49:56,250
Well, I have French toast,
bacon, eggs and potatoes.
1035
00:49:56,333 --> 00:49:58,291
- Enjoy it.
- It's for you.
1036
00:49:58,375 --> 00:50:00,708
That was very sweet, but, no, thank you.
1037
00:50:02,583 --> 00:50:04,458
Is it just me
or have you lost a little weight?
1038
00:50:04,541 --> 00:50:06,208
I have.
1039
00:50:06,291 --> 00:50:08,333
Well, you look great.
1040
00:50:08,416 --> 00:50:09,916
Thank you.
1041
00:50:14,541 --> 00:50:16,833
- I'll see you onstage.
- Mm-hmm.
1042
00:50:16,916 --> 00:50:19,541
- Madelyn.
- Yeah?
1043
00:50:19,625 --> 00:50:22,083
Who told you
that I didn't have any breakfast?
1044
00:50:24,666 --> 00:50:26,666
I don't know.
1045
00:50:26,750 --> 00:50:28,958
I think...
1046
00:50:29,041 --> 00:50:30,916
It was Tino.
1047
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:32,250
The tall waiter.
1048
00:50:32,333 --> 00:50:33,791
Okay.
1049
00:50:34,875 --> 00:50:36,083
Yeah.
1050
00:50:38,875 --> 00:50:41,041
Jesus Christ.
1051
00:50:41,125 --> 00:50:43,625
Day three and still no pickup
on the Winchell story.
1052
00:50:43,708 --> 00:50:45,601
- Fellas, I think we're out of this.
- Might be.
1053
00:50:45,625 --> 00:50:47,500
- Might be.
- Howard?
1054
00:50:47,583 --> 00:50:50,059
There's another shoe, and none of us
are getting out of this alive.
1055
00:50:50,083 --> 00:50:51,250
Howard.
1056
00:50:51,333 --> 00:50:52,875
They're uncovering something new,
1057
00:50:52,958 --> 00:50:56,166
they're chasing the original testimony,
something,
1058
00:50:56,250 --> 00:50:57,458
but there's another shoe.
1059
00:50:57,541 --> 00:50:59,559
There's nothing more to uncover.
There are no more shoes.
1060
00:50:59,583 --> 00:51:01,875
- Lucy's pregnant.
- Well, that.
1061
00:51:06,208 --> 00:51:07,250
What?
1062
00:51:07,333 --> 00:51:08,333
Lucy's pregnant.
1063
00:51:08,416 --> 00:51:09,750
With a baby?
1064
00:51:09,833 --> 00:51:11,583
Mm-hmm.
1065
00:51:11,666 --> 00:51:12,791
How...
1066
00:51:12,875 --> 00:51:15,208
I'm...
not sure what words to use.
1067
00:51:15,291 --> 00:51:18,250
How much pregnant are you?
1068
00:51:18,333 --> 00:51:20,625
Why did you think
you didn't know what words to use?
1069
00:51:20,708 --> 00:51:22,916
He means how far,
as a percentage of nine months...
1070
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:24,833
where are you
on-on the timeline of-of the...
1071
00:51:24,916 --> 00:51:26,684
Someone should point
a goddamn camera at this.
1072
00:51:26,708 --> 00:51:27,875
She's 12 weeks pregnant.
1073
00:51:27,958 --> 00:51:28,958
So that means, uh...
1074
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:30,916
12 weeks ago, I fucked my husband.
1075
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:32,017
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- No, no, no. -
1076
00:51:34,166 --> 00:51:36,000
She'll start showing in about
1077
00:51:36,083 --> 00:51:40,500
six weeks, and a month after that,
there won't be any hiding it.
1078
00:51:40,583 --> 00:51:42,000
This isn't a problem.
1079
00:51:42,083 --> 00:51:43,559
- It's not.
- This has happened before.
1080
00:51:43,583 --> 00:51:46,666
I won't say names,
but it's been dealt with.
1081
00:51:46,750 --> 00:51:49,250
Is he talking about having me killed?
1082
00:51:49,333 --> 00:51:51,166
No, you carry a basket of laundry,
1083
00:51:51,250 --> 00:51:53,958
stand behind chairs,
you sit with a pillow on your lap.
1084
00:51:54,041 --> 00:51:55,684
Those are great ideas,
especially having Lucy
1085
00:51:55,708 --> 00:51:57,226
carry a basket of laundry in every scene.
1086
00:51:57,250 --> 00:51:58,500
Or stand behind chairs.
1087
00:51:58,583 --> 00:52:01,833
Where in the Ricardo's living room
are the giant chairs you're talking about?
1088
00:52:01,916 --> 00:52:04,041
Lucy and Ricky redecorate, huh?
1089
00:52:04,125 --> 00:52:05,684
The writers can get some fun out of this.
1090
00:52:05,708 --> 00:52:07,958
Maybe they get some large ficus trees.
1091
00:52:08,041 --> 00:52:09,351
They'd have to be California redwoods,
1092
00:52:09,375 --> 00:52:11,892
and I'd have to stand behind them
anytime I wasn't doing the wash.
1093
00:52:11,916 --> 00:52:13,125
Well, what do you propose?
1094
00:52:13,208 --> 00:52:14,625
That the Ricardos have a baby.
1095
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:18,666
What do you mean?
1096
00:52:18,750 --> 00:52:20,458
I told you it was gonna be like this.
1097
00:52:20,541 --> 00:52:24,000
Lucy Ricardo will be pregnant on the show.
1098
00:52:24,083 --> 00:52:29,166
An eight-episode arc starting with
Lucy telling Ricky the happy news
1099
00:52:29,250 --> 00:52:32,083
- and ending with the birth of the baby.
- No.
1100
00:52:32,166 --> 00:52:33,833
No, no, no.
1101
00:52:33,916 --> 00:52:35,476
You can't have a pregnant woman
on television.
1102
00:52:35,500 --> 00:52:36,625
Why not?
1103
00:52:36,708 --> 00:52:37,708
Because it's television.
1104
00:52:37,791 --> 00:52:39,375
We come into people's homes.
1105
00:52:39,458 --> 00:52:41,583
Pregnant women often vomit.
1106
00:52:41,666 --> 00:52:43,458
I know I could any second.
1107
00:52:43,541 --> 00:52:45,541
- May I say something?
- Frankly, I can't wait.
1108
00:52:45,625 --> 00:52:48,625
If Lucy Ricardo's pregnant,
the audience's mind immediately goes
1109
00:52:48,708 --> 00:52:50,000
to how did she get that way.
1110
00:52:50,083 --> 00:52:51,392
Lucy and Ricky sleep in separate beds.
1111
00:52:51,416 --> 00:52:53,333
We'll be pushing the beds together, too.
1112
00:52:53,416 --> 00:52:54,934
- Oh. - Oh, no.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1113
00:52:54,958 --> 00:52:57,476
I'm sorry, Des, we're gonna
have to put our foot down on this one.
1114
00:52:57,500 --> 00:52:59,541
You can't do it. End of discussion.
1115
00:53:05,916 --> 00:53:09,458
Miss Rosen, will you come in please,
with a pad and pen?
1116
00:53:13,500 --> 00:53:15,100
My secretary.
1117
00:53:16,333 --> 00:53:17,875
What are you doing?
1118
00:53:17,958 --> 00:53:19,767
To Mr. Alfred Lyons,
Chairman of the Board of Philip Morris.
1119
00:53:19,791 --> 00:53:21,267
We don't want
to bring Mr. Lyons into this.
1120
00:53:21,291 --> 00:53:23,791
"Mr. Lyons, I guess
it all comes down to you.
1121
00:53:23,875 --> 00:53:26,458
"You are the man
who's paying the money for this show,
1122
00:53:26,541 --> 00:53:28,208
and I'll do whatever you decide."
1123
00:53:28,291 --> 00:53:30,500
Mr. Lyons doesn't get involved
at this level.
1124
00:53:30,583 --> 00:53:33,375
"There's only one thing I want
to make certain that you understand."
1125
00:53:33,458 --> 00:53:35,166
- Desi...
- "We've given you
1126
00:53:35,250 --> 00:53:37,166
"the number one show on television,
1127
00:53:37,250 --> 00:53:41,500
"and up until now, the creative decisions
have been in our hands.
1128
00:53:41,583 --> 00:53:45,208
They are now telling us that Lucy
and Ricky can't have a baby on the show."
1129
00:53:45,291 --> 00:53:46,476
That's not exactly what we said.
1130
00:53:46,500 --> 00:53:48,958
"All I ask from you,
if you agree with them,
1131
00:53:49,041 --> 00:53:52,541
"is that you inform them that we will
not accept them telling us what not to do
1132
00:53:52,625 --> 00:53:58,083
"unless, beginning with our next episode,
they also tell us what to do.
1133
00:53:58,166 --> 00:54:00,708
Sincerely," et cetera, et cetera.
Thank you.
1134
00:54:00,791 --> 00:54:03,166
- And send it by telegram please.
- Yes, sir.
1135
00:54:05,708 --> 00:54:08,125
And that wasn't even why I married him.
1136
00:54:11,791 --> 00:54:12,791
That was.
1137
00:54:15,375 --> 00:54:17,375
Quiet please! Rehearsal's up!
1138
00:54:17,458 --> 00:54:20,166
Lucy, let me out of here!
1139
00:54:20,250 --> 00:54:21,708
Untie this coat!
1140
00:54:21,791 --> 00:54:23,625
Not until you kiss and make up.
1141
00:54:23,708 --> 00:54:26,416
I'll never make up with him
after the things he said.
1142
00:54:26,500 --> 00:54:28,583
What about the things you said to me?
1143
00:54:28,666 --> 00:54:30,708
She said my mother looks like a weasel.
1144
00:54:30,791 --> 00:54:33,041
- Apologize, Ethel.
- No.
1145
00:54:33,125 --> 00:54:36,458
Oh, come on, Ethel. Tell him you're sorry.
1146
00:54:36,541 --> 00:54:37,625
Well...
1147
00:54:37,708 --> 00:54:39,750
I'm sorry your mother looks like a weasel.
1148
00:54:39,833 --> 00:54:41,750
Now, Ethel.
1149
00:54:41,833 --> 00:54:43,184
Well, he should have more consideration.
1150
00:54:43,208 --> 00:54:45,291
After all, I gave him
the best years of my life.
1151
00:54:45,375 --> 00:54:47,875
Were those the best?
1152
00:54:47,958 --> 00:54:49,750
All right, all right, now you're even.
1153
00:54:49,833 --> 00:54:51,750
Now, what are your terms
for making up, Ethel?
1154
00:54:51,833 --> 00:54:53,291
Well, he should...
1155
00:54:53,375 --> 00:54:56,041
We should go back to the dinner table.
1156
00:54:57,125 --> 00:54:59,750
- What was that?
- We should go back to the dinner table.
1157
00:54:59,833 --> 00:55:02,958
I think, given the time,
we should move on.
1158
00:55:03,041 --> 00:55:04,041
It was good.
1159
00:55:04,125 --> 00:55:05,833
Yeah, except, no, it wasn't.
1160
00:55:05,916 --> 00:55:06,958
- What?
- Good.
1161
00:55:07,041 --> 00:55:08,666
- Wasn't good.
- Uh...
1162
00:55:08,750 --> 00:55:09,750
Ah, let's go back.
1163
00:55:09,833 --> 00:55:11,125
What's happening?
1164
00:55:11,208 --> 00:55:12,517
She wants to go back.
1165
00:55:12,541 --> 00:55:13,642
- To what?
- The dinner scene.
1166
00:55:13,666 --> 00:55:15,208
What?
1167
00:55:15,291 --> 00:55:17,916
The dinner scene, you drunken yontz!
1168
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:19,809
Have we hired anyone to play Ethel yet?
1169
00:55:19,833 --> 00:55:21,083
All right, let's go.
1170
00:55:21,166 --> 00:55:22,351
Go forward or go back to the dinner scene?
1171
00:55:22,375 --> 00:55:23,375
Back.
1172
00:55:25,083 --> 00:55:27,625
Page 15. This is still scene "A."
1173
00:55:27,708 --> 00:55:29,309
From, "You're right, he's not
going to do me out of dinner."
1174
00:55:29,333 --> 00:55:31,601
- Cameras reset. Props reset.
- Someone's gonna need to tell us
1175
00:55:31,625 --> 00:55:33,392
what was wrong with the scene
in the first place.
1176
00:55:33,416 --> 00:55:34,726
- You were in it.
- Bill.
1177
00:55:34,750 --> 00:55:36,559
Something fundamental was wrong.
I'll figure out what.
1178
00:55:36,583 --> 00:55:37,666
I can figure out what.
1179
00:55:37,750 --> 00:55:39,476
Let's all do our individual jobs.
1180
00:55:39,500 --> 00:55:41,267
I hit him in the face
until he's bleeding...
1181
00:55:41,291 --> 00:55:43,517
- does our insurance cover that?
- Yeah, I got the platinum plan.
1182
00:55:43,541 --> 00:55:44,791
Good job.
1183
00:55:44,875 --> 00:55:46,375
- Ready, ready.
- Quiet please!
1184
00:55:46,458 --> 00:55:47,750
Rehearsal's up!
1185
00:55:47,833 --> 00:55:50,184
From, "You're right,
he's not going to do me out of dinner."
1186
00:55:50,208 --> 00:55:51,250
Settle.
1187
00:55:51,333 --> 00:55:53,541
And action.
1188
00:55:53,625 --> 00:55:54,875
Uh, you're right.
1189
00:55:54,958 --> 00:55:57,041
He's not gonna do me out of dinner.
1190
00:55:57,125 --> 00:55:58,333
Good.
1191
00:55:58,416 --> 00:56:01,250
Oh. Now, sit down, everyone.
1192
00:56:03,250 --> 00:56:06,208
We don't have any more chairs.
1193
00:56:06,291 --> 00:56:08,916
You two don't mind sharing, do you?
1194
00:56:11,541 --> 00:56:13,375
The roast beef should be precut.
1195
00:56:13,458 --> 00:56:15,184
- It will be, dear.
- How's that, Ethel?
1196
00:56:15,208 --> 00:56:17,226
- Not too much fat, is there?
- There certainly is.
1197
00:56:17,250 --> 00:56:18,250
He means the meat.
1198
00:56:18,333 --> 00:56:19,791
Oh, no, the meat is fine.
1199
00:56:19,875 --> 00:56:22,416
Now do your thing.
1200
00:56:22,500 --> 00:56:24,375
Come on.
1201
00:56:24,458 --> 00:56:25,625
- Mm.
- Perfect.
1202
00:56:25,708 --> 00:56:27,041
- Yeah?
- Moving on.
1203
00:56:27,125 --> 00:56:29,125
- Moving...
- Staying put. - Why?
1204
00:56:29,208 --> 00:56:30,809
We need to work out
the moves at the table.
1205
00:56:30,833 --> 00:56:32,208
Bill and I can work out the moves.
1206
00:56:32,291 --> 00:56:33,934
It's not that I'm not confident
that you can't work out...
1207
00:56:33,958 --> 00:56:35,458
This is camera blocking.
1208
00:56:35,541 --> 00:56:38,017
We can work out the stage business
during tomorrow's run-through.
1209
00:56:38,041 --> 00:56:40,416
I would strongly prefer that we do it now.
1210
00:56:40,500 --> 00:56:42,958
I have to exercise
my directorial authority.
1211
00:56:43,041 --> 00:56:44,809
- You have to do what?
- Let's take a break.
1212
00:56:44,833 --> 00:56:46,851
- It's not time for a break.
- Good, then, that's ten minutes.
1213
00:56:46,875 --> 00:56:48,875
Ten minutes, we come back to scene "A"!
1214
00:56:48,958 --> 00:56:51,250
- No, we don't.
- Maybe we don't. It's hard to say.
1215
00:56:57,166 --> 00:56:58,625
Tell me what's happening, honey.
1216
00:56:59,791 --> 00:57:01,309
- You know what occurs to me?
- Mm-hmm?
1217
00:57:01,333 --> 00:57:02,916
At the top, it should be clear
1218
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:04,309
that I'm setting a nice table, right?
1219
00:57:04,333 --> 00:57:06,708
There should be flowers in a vase.
1220
00:57:08,833 --> 00:57:10,708
And I'm trying to get them just right.
1221
00:57:10,791 --> 00:57:13,208
And I cut one of the stems,
but now it's too short.
1222
00:57:14,166 --> 00:57:15,767
Then I cut the others,
but now they're too short and...
1223
00:57:15,791 --> 00:57:17,833
- I get it.
- What do you think?
1224
00:57:17,916 --> 00:57:19,684
I think you're having
a little bit of a breakdown.
1225
00:57:19,708 --> 00:57:21,125
I meant about the flowers.
1226
00:57:21,208 --> 00:57:23,875
Tell me what's happening now.
1227
00:57:23,958 --> 00:57:25,916
Why is this so hard to understand?
1228
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:27,500
The dinner table isn't working,
1229
00:57:27,583 --> 00:57:28,958
- and we need it to.
- Mm-hmm.
1230
00:57:29,041 --> 00:57:32,500
Right there are
the building blocks of drama.
1231
00:57:59,750 --> 00:58:01,166
Viv.
1232
00:58:02,625 --> 00:58:03,958
It's not you.
1233
00:58:04,041 --> 00:58:05,625
Or Bill.
1234
00:58:05,708 --> 00:58:08,541
The dinner scene. It's Donald Glass.
1235
00:58:08,625 --> 00:58:10,708
Well...
1236
00:58:10,791 --> 00:58:11,833
it'll be funny.
1237
00:58:11,916 --> 00:58:13,666
I'm sure of that.
1238
00:58:13,750 --> 00:58:16,125
Can't get better till it gets bad.
1239
00:58:16,208 --> 00:58:18,708
- Cross step one off the list.
- Yeah.
1240
00:58:18,791 --> 00:58:19,875
Okay.
1241
00:58:21,416 --> 00:58:22,958
You hanging in there?
1242
00:58:23,041 --> 00:58:24,791
Look, we've made 37 episodes.
1243
00:58:24,875 --> 00:58:28,125
You do 37 of anything,
one of them's gonna be your 37th best.
1244
00:58:28,208 --> 00:58:30,166
Ours was directed by Donald Glass.
1245
00:58:30,250 --> 00:58:32,083
Honey, the committee.
1246
00:58:32,166 --> 00:58:34,476
They're not gonna base their findings
based on how this week's sh...
1247
00:58:34,500 --> 00:58:35,666
Fuck the committee.
1248
00:58:35,750 --> 00:58:37,875
I said that. I'm talking about the show.
1249
00:58:37,958 --> 00:58:40,958
And unless you count his wardrobe,
Donald Glass doesn't understand
1250
00:58:41,041 --> 00:58:44,166
the moving parts of physical comedy.
1251
00:58:45,458 --> 00:58:46,458
That's all.
1252
00:58:46,541 --> 00:58:49,458
My point is you're not the problem.
1253
00:58:49,541 --> 00:58:50,833
Mm-hmm.
1254
00:58:52,375 --> 00:58:53,666
Luce.
1255
00:58:53,750 --> 00:58:55,166
Yeah?
1256
00:58:58,166 --> 00:59:01,916
Uh, Madelyn brought me breakfast
this morning.
1257
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:05,291
French toast, bacon and potatoes.
1258
00:59:05,375 --> 00:59:08,875
She said that someone noticed
I hadn't had breakfast.
1259
00:59:08,958 --> 00:59:10,601
She said it looked like
I had lost some weight.
1260
00:59:10,625 --> 00:59:12,041
She's right. You look great.
1261
00:59:12,125 --> 00:59:15,041
Madelyn's a staff writer.
She doesn't bring people their breakfast.
1262
00:59:16,833 --> 00:59:18,375
I'm not sure what you're asking.
1263
00:59:18,458 --> 00:59:19,583
It sounds like she was...
1264
00:59:19,666 --> 00:59:22,083
How would she know I hadn't had breakfast?
1265
00:59:24,500 --> 00:59:25,625
I really don't know.
1266
00:59:26,708 --> 00:59:28,708
- It was you, right?
- Yeah.
1267
00:59:28,791 --> 00:59:31,416
Got to give me credit.
When I lie, I give it up pretty quick.
1268
00:59:31,500 --> 00:59:34,000
- It's admirable.
- Thanks.
1269
00:59:34,083 --> 00:59:38,750
You told her to bring me breakfast
and remark on my weight loss.
1270
00:59:39,833 --> 00:59:40,916
Let me explain why.
1271
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:42,166
Why?
1272
00:59:42,250 --> 00:59:44,309
Because I think you should
get off this loony diet you're on.
1273
00:59:44,333 --> 00:59:45,416
It's working.
1274
00:59:45,500 --> 00:59:46,916
It's not good for you.
1275
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:48,125
I feel great.
1276
00:59:48,208 --> 00:59:49,875
It's not good for Ethel.
1277
00:59:49,958 --> 00:59:51,750
Ah, it's not.
1278
00:59:51,833 --> 00:59:54,250
We're best friends, Viv.
I don't want to fight.
1279
00:59:54,333 --> 00:59:56,101
- I just sent some breakfast over because...
- You didn't just send it over.
1280
00:59:56,125 --> 00:59:58,375
You sent it over
with Madelyn and a message
1281
00:59:58,458 --> 01:00:01,958
and now a new message,
which is that I look too good.
1282
01:00:02,041 --> 01:00:05,000
Because we want you at the weight
you were when we cast you.
1283
01:00:05,083 --> 01:00:06,403
Otherwise it'll be bad for Ethel?
1284
01:00:06,458 --> 01:00:07,708
- Yes.
- Or bad for you?
1285
01:00:11,708 --> 01:00:12,791
All right.
1286
01:00:12,875 --> 01:00:14,934
No one's gonna stop loving Lucy
when you're pregnant.
1287
01:00:14,958 --> 01:00:16,291
You're not a pinup girl.
1288
01:00:18,125 --> 01:00:19,416
Thanks for that, Viv.
1289
01:00:19,500 --> 01:00:22,041
I'm saying take it easy, that's all.
1290
01:00:22,125 --> 01:00:25,708
Everyone here stands shoulder to shoulder
with you and no one feels funny
1291
01:00:25,791 --> 01:00:28,208
'cause we're scared to death,
and you're not helping
1292
01:00:28,291 --> 01:00:30,708
by jumping up and down
on everyone who works here
1293
01:00:30,791 --> 01:00:32,500
and doing it in front of the whole crew!
1294
01:00:32,583 --> 01:00:35,791
Goddamn it, Viv,
most American women look like you, not me.
1295
01:00:35,875 --> 01:00:38,041
They want to see themselves on television.
1296
01:00:48,125 --> 01:00:50,458
What the hell are the two of you
screaming about?
1297
01:00:50,541 --> 01:00:52,333
- Nothing.
- Nothing!
1298
01:00:52,416 --> 01:00:54,583
I'm in my room taking my midmorning nap.
1299
01:00:54,666 --> 01:00:57,291
Don't you usually do that
while we're rehearsing?
1300
01:00:58,291 --> 01:01:01,416
I'd love to hear more of that
Moss Hart wit on the show.
1301
01:01:08,708 --> 01:01:10,791
Don't worry about it.
1302
01:01:10,875 --> 01:01:13,583
The weight always comes back.
I can't keep it off anymore.
1303
01:01:15,458 --> 01:01:17,333
This conversation went poorly.
1304
01:01:17,416 --> 01:01:19,333
I thought it was great.
1305
01:01:19,416 --> 01:01:23,916
I definitely feel like performing
for tens of millions of people now.
1306
01:01:26,208 --> 01:01:28,083
All right.
1307
01:01:28,166 --> 01:01:29,875
So...
1308
01:01:29,958 --> 01:01:31,375
Okay.
1309
01:01:36,541 --> 01:01:38,958
- Lucille.
- Yeah?
1310
01:01:40,416 --> 01:01:42,125
Come with me for a drink.
1311
01:01:42,208 --> 01:01:43,625
It's 10:00 a.m.
1312
01:01:43,708 --> 01:01:45,500
I'm sure it's 10:15 somewhere.
1313
01:01:45,583 --> 01:01:47,250
We have to be back onstage.
1314
01:01:47,333 --> 01:01:49,101
- I wonder if they'll wait for you.
- Bill, I'm not...
1315
01:01:49,125 --> 01:01:50,291
Kid.
1316
01:01:50,375 --> 01:01:52,666
Tell the stage Mrs. Arnaz is
taking some personal time
1317
01:01:52,750 --> 01:01:54,150
and she'll be back when she's back.
1318
01:01:54,208 --> 01:01:56,375
- Probably 15 minutes.
- Yes, ma'am.
1319
01:01:56,458 --> 01:01:59,101
And you should remind props that I need
garden shears in the opening scene.
1320
01:01:59,125 --> 01:02:00,541
- Copy.
- Let's go.
1321
01:02:00,625 --> 01:02:02,892
We have to establish right away
that I'm setting a fancy table.
1322
01:02:02,916 --> 01:02:04,767
- You don't have to explain it to him.
- We'll have flowers in a vase.
1323
01:02:04,791 --> 01:02:06,291
I'll cut one of the flowers.
1324
01:02:06,375 --> 01:02:08,291
- He doesn't care.
- It'll be too short.
1325
01:02:08,375 --> 01:02:10,392
I'll cut the other flowers,
they'll be too short, and so on.
1326
01:02:10,416 --> 01:02:11,875
- Got it.
- So I need garden shears.
1327
01:02:11,958 --> 01:02:12,958
Copy.
1328
01:02:13,041 --> 01:02:15,309
Regular scissors aren't strong enough
to cut through the stems.
1329
01:02:15,333 --> 01:02:17,208
He's thinking a lot about killing you now.
1330
01:02:17,291 --> 01:02:18,291
- Fine.
- Go.
1331
01:02:18,375 --> 01:02:20,000
Yep.
1332
01:02:21,791 --> 01:02:23,291
It's raining.
1333
01:02:23,375 --> 01:02:24,642
Your hair gonna be all right?
1334
01:02:24,666 --> 01:02:26,041
I'm fine.
1335
01:02:26,125 --> 01:02:30,250
Ever since I started doing this show,
rain bounces off my hair.
1336
01:02:30,333 --> 01:02:32,166
- That's helpful.
- Mm.
1337
01:02:32,250 --> 01:02:34,958
Honestly had no idea this place was here.
1338
01:02:35,041 --> 01:02:37,625
They like to keep a low profile.
1339
01:02:37,708 --> 01:02:39,791
Can't imagine why.
1340
01:02:39,875 --> 01:02:43,166
Kind of people go to a bar
on a Wednesday morning?
1341
01:02:43,250 --> 01:02:45,500
It's an eclectic group.
1342
01:02:45,583 --> 01:02:48,208
What are you having?
1343
01:02:48,291 --> 01:02:50,083
I'll take a tetanus shot.
1344
01:02:50,166 --> 01:02:52,083
- Jim Beam, two times.
- Sure, Bill.
1345
01:02:52,166 --> 01:02:54,208
I thought you and Desi had a deal.
1346
01:02:54,291 --> 01:02:56,791
You don't drink at work.
1347
01:02:56,875 --> 01:02:59,416
Desi and I have a deal
that I won't be drunk at work.
1348
01:02:59,500 --> 01:03:01,625
Have you ever seen me drunk at work?
1349
01:03:01,708 --> 01:03:03,708
- Would I know?
- No.
1350
01:03:03,791 --> 01:03:04,958
Here's to your new baby.
1351
01:03:05,041 --> 01:03:06,458
All right, then.
1352
01:03:07,750 --> 01:03:09,916
Are they being polite
or do they not recognize us?
1353
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:11,583
They don't own television sets.
1354
01:03:13,083 --> 01:03:14,416
Why didn't I think of that?
1355
01:03:14,500 --> 01:03:16,833
Honey, I read seven newspapers every day.
1356
01:03:16,916 --> 01:03:18,833
Seven? When do you have time to do that?
1357
01:03:18,916 --> 01:03:21,666
It's 30 minutes between races
at Santa Anita,
1358
01:03:21,750 --> 01:03:23,767
and it takes me a minute and a half
to pick a horse.
1359
01:03:23,791 --> 01:03:25,333
- Aren't you at work?
- Yeah.
1360
01:03:25,416 --> 01:03:28,291
We have bookies now and telephones.
1361
01:03:28,375 --> 01:03:31,083
Know all about that.
Did a Damon Runyon picture.
1362
01:03:31,166 --> 01:03:33,000
In none of those seven newspapers
1363
01:03:33,083 --> 01:03:36,958
have I read anything about
Lucille Ball being a Communist.
1364
01:03:38,416 --> 01:03:40,791
I don't hear anyone talking about it.
1365
01:03:40,875 --> 01:03:42,458
Since when do you talk to anyone?
1366
01:03:42,541 --> 01:03:45,017
The less you talk,
the more things you hear,
1367
01:03:45,041 --> 01:03:46,875
and I haven't heard anything.
1368
01:03:46,958 --> 01:03:48,916
So...
1369
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:50,208
problems at home?
1370
01:03:51,750 --> 01:03:53,416
Problems at home?
1371
01:03:53,500 --> 01:03:55,541
- Yeah.
- No.
1372
01:03:55,625 --> 01:04:00,291
I'd like very much to have problems at
home, but my problem's not home that much.
1373
01:04:00,375 --> 01:04:01,458
Few times a week.
1374
01:04:01,541 --> 01:04:02,767
He was playing cards on the boat
Wednesday night.
1375
01:04:02,791 --> 01:04:04,125
I know.
1376
01:04:04,208 --> 01:04:05,458
The picture's six months old.
1377
01:04:05,541 --> 01:04:07,958
I was there when it was taken.
1378
01:04:08,041 --> 01:04:10,541
I'm saying, why wasn't he home,
where I and our daughter were?
1379
01:04:10,625 --> 01:04:14,875
Your husband is in love with America
like no man I have ever known
1380
01:04:14,958 --> 01:04:19,583
since George M. Cohan, who loved America
so much he wrote the same song five times.
1381
01:04:19,666 --> 01:04:20,708
Okay?
1382
01:04:20,791 --> 01:04:24,208
Desi loves America as much as that guy.
1383
01:04:24,291 --> 01:04:26,500
But that doesn't mean he's not Cuban.
1384
01:04:26,583 --> 01:04:28,208
- I know that.
- The world he's from
1385
01:04:28,291 --> 01:04:30,916
has a very narrow definition of manhood.
1386
01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:33,291
- I know that, too.
- The man is the man.
1387
01:04:33,375 --> 01:04:34,416
Mm-hmm.
1388
01:04:34,500 --> 01:04:36,333
And not for nothing,
but the women are happy.
1389
01:04:36,416 --> 01:04:38,208
You've asked them?
1390
01:04:38,291 --> 01:04:40,000
They look happy.
1391
01:04:41,083 --> 01:04:42,500
I see.
1392
01:04:44,083 --> 01:04:46,184
- But that's neither here nor there.
- It really isn't.
1393
01:04:46,208 --> 01:04:49,333
He's mesmerized by you, Lucille.
1394
01:04:49,416 --> 01:04:52,500
And he misses you
when you're in two different places.
1395
01:04:52,583 --> 01:04:54,708
He does. I'm a witness.
1396
01:04:54,791 --> 01:04:56,333
- He doesn't have to.
- He...
1397
01:04:56,416 --> 01:04:57,666
We live in the same house.
1398
01:04:57,750 --> 01:04:59,625
He does have to.
1399
01:04:59,708 --> 01:05:00,958
That's what I'm saying.
1400
01:05:02,791 --> 01:05:07,083
He has to spend time away from you
so that he can feel like he's not the...
1401
01:05:07,166 --> 01:05:08,458
Second banana.
1402
01:05:08,541 --> 01:05:11,166
I navigate male egos for a living, bud.
1403
01:05:11,250 --> 01:05:13,333
Then why are you running the set?
1404
01:05:13,416 --> 01:05:15,958
Why are you running rehearsals?
1405
01:05:16,041 --> 01:05:17,666
You're doing it right in front of him.
1406
01:05:17,750 --> 01:05:20,517
I can't prioritize the director's feelings
over the health of the show.
1407
01:05:20,541 --> 01:05:23,541
No, no, not... I couldn't care less
about Donald's feelings if I tried hard.
1408
01:05:23,583 --> 01:05:24,666
He's a hack.
1409
01:05:24,750 --> 01:05:28,916
But we'll overcome that because,
frankly, we're not doing Uncle Vanya.
1410
01:05:30,291 --> 01:05:31,500
Got it.
1411
01:05:31,583 --> 01:05:33,309
But the business at the dinner table
has to be precise.
1412
01:05:33,333 --> 01:05:35,083
Really?
1413
01:05:35,166 --> 01:05:36,708
I was only in vaudeville 40 years,
1414
01:05:36,791 --> 01:05:39,375
so I wouldn't know about these things
of which you speak.
1415
01:05:39,458 --> 01:05:40,500
I know you know.
1416
01:05:40,583 --> 01:05:41,750
I'm just saying...
1417
01:05:41,833 --> 01:05:44,625
You did it in front of Desi is my point.
1418
01:05:45,833 --> 01:05:47,500
Let me tell you something about Desi.
1419
01:05:47,583 --> 01:05:49,416
He runs this show.
1420
01:05:50,500 --> 01:05:53,000
Every creative decision goes through him.
1421
01:05:53,083 --> 01:05:56,083
Every business decision...
the network, Philip Morris.
1422
01:05:56,166 --> 01:05:58,916
And if that wasn't enough,
he is camera-ready on Monday.
1423
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:02,541
Takes me five days to get a laugh.
1424
01:06:02,625 --> 01:06:04,458
He's killing it at the table read.
1425
01:06:06,541 --> 01:06:09,708
And that man, believe me,
is nobody's second banana.
1426
01:06:11,083 --> 01:06:12,666
How many people know that?
1427
01:06:12,750 --> 01:06:14,041
Know what?
1428
01:06:14,125 --> 01:06:16,458
That Desi runs the show.
1429
01:06:16,541 --> 01:06:18,541
How many people know that?
1430
01:06:23,250 --> 01:06:24,875
There was a minute there
1431
01:06:24,958 --> 01:06:28,125
when Lucy was gonna be a serious actress.
1432
01:06:28,208 --> 01:06:29,708
In serious movies.
1433
01:06:29,791 --> 01:06:33,583
She was gonna compete for roles
with Crawford, Hayworth.
1434
01:06:35,208 --> 01:06:37,375
Might've been Lucy in All About Eve.
1435
01:06:37,458 --> 01:06:41,041
And you know what?
She'd have blown the doors off the place.
1436
01:06:42,291 --> 01:06:44,875
It was almost like that.
1437
01:06:44,958 --> 01:06:46,250
For a minute there.
1438
01:06:55,666 --> 01:06:57,250
Desi!
1439
01:07:01,708 --> 01:07:02,708
Desi!
1440
01:07:04,208 --> 01:07:05,208
Lucy?
1441
01:07:05,291 --> 01:07:06,416
What happened?
1442
01:07:08,750 --> 01:07:10,250
Flat tire!
1443
01:07:10,333 --> 01:07:11,958
Quarter of a mile back.
1444
01:07:12,041 --> 01:07:14,125
And you abandoned the car there?
1445
01:07:14,208 --> 01:07:16,666
- I sprinted the last 500 yards.
- What's going on?
1446
01:07:16,750 --> 01:07:19,166
Also you ran with a bottle
of champagne in your hand?
1447
01:07:19,250 --> 01:07:21,625
Bringing it...
1448
01:07:22,875 --> 01:07:23,958
...more festive.
1449
01:07:24,041 --> 01:07:25,041
I got it.
1450
01:07:25,125 --> 01:07:26,583
I got the part.
1451
01:07:26,666 --> 01:07:28,666
- Which part?
- I got the part, Des.
1452
01:07:28,750 --> 01:07:30,125
The Big Street.
1453
01:07:30,208 --> 01:07:32,291
You said it was going to Rita Hayworth.
1454
01:07:32,375 --> 01:07:33,791
Scheduling problems.
1455
01:07:33,875 --> 01:07:35,458
Then they went to Judy Holliday.
1456
01:07:35,541 --> 01:07:37,375
Scheduling problems.
1457
01:07:37,458 --> 01:07:41,708
I got the female lead in The Big Street.
1458
01:07:41,791 --> 01:07:43,958
That's tremendous.
1459
01:07:44,958 --> 01:07:46,041
That's tremendous.
1460
01:07:46,125 --> 01:07:49,000
I'm opposite Henry Fonda.
1461
01:07:49,083 --> 01:07:51,875
But when does it start photography?
1462
01:07:51,958 --> 01:07:52,958
Two weeks.
1463
01:07:54,750 --> 01:07:56,916
I still can't catch my breath.
1464
01:07:58,208 --> 01:08:00,208
- It's Damon Runyon.
- I know!
1465
01:08:00,291 --> 01:08:03,041
I know. I read the script,
and I'm very, I'm very happy, Lucy,
1466
01:08:03,125 --> 01:08:05,458
but I was looking forward
to you coming out on tour.
1467
01:08:07,250 --> 01:08:09,375
Rita Hayworth had scheduling problems.
1468
01:08:09,458 --> 01:08:11,791
Mm, so did you.
1469
01:08:11,875 --> 01:08:15,125
You don't think I want to be in the same
city at the same time as my husband?
1470
01:08:15,208 --> 01:08:16,708
- I know. I know.
- What do I...
1471
01:08:16,791 --> 01:08:18,958
Every decision I make
is based on being near you.
1472
01:08:19,041 --> 01:08:20,916
Every single decision.
1473
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:24,458
Well, yes, but obviously not
every single decision.
1474
01:08:24,541 --> 01:08:26,958
No? Hmm?
1475
01:08:27,041 --> 01:08:29,521
You know how many years I've spent
sticking my head into frame,
1476
01:08:29,583 --> 01:08:31,416
saying something bitchy and going away?
1477
01:08:31,500 --> 01:08:34,916
Crappy little roles in pictures
I wouldn't pay a nickel to see
1478
01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:37,916
if the theater had
the only available air-conditioning.
1479
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:40,416
- Uh-huh.
- If The Big Street is a hit,
1480
01:08:40,500 --> 01:08:45,250
I'll be getting the roles
that go to Rita and Judy and Bette.
1481
01:08:45,333 --> 01:08:46,333
Which Judy?
1482
01:08:46,416 --> 01:08:47,500
- Holliday.
- Ah.
1483
01:08:47,583 --> 01:08:49,351
Who's the baseball player
that you talk about?
1484
01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:52,500
The one who sat down
and let Lou Gehrig start that streak.
1485
01:08:52,583 --> 01:08:54,000
Oh, Wally Pipp.
1486
01:08:54,083 --> 01:08:55,875
Gehrig was his understudy.
1487
01:08:55,958 --> 01:08:58,416
- Backup.
- And the guy took a rest one day.
1488
01:08:58,500 --> 01:09:00,916
Gehrig came in,
didn't come out for 40 years.
1489
01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:02,416
14 years, and it was Wally Pipp.
1490
01:09:02,500 --> 01:09:05,166
Okay, well, imagine if Wally Pipp
had scheduling problems,
1491
01:09:05,250 --> 01:09:09,833
Lou Gehrig, instead of grabbing his glove,
toured with his husband's Latin orchestra.
1492
01:09:09,916 --> 01:09:11,517
It would've changed
the course of baseball.
1493
01:09:11,541 --> 01:09:13,666
And the course of Latin music.
1494
01:09:13,750 --> 01:09:15,541
Rita Hayworth is Wally Pipp.
1495
01:09:15,625 --> 01:09:16,791
I'm Lou Gehrig.
1496
01:09:16,875 --> 01:09:18,500
The Big Street is the Yankees.
1497
01:09:18,583 --> 01:09:20,958
I understood the metaphor so long ago.
1498
01:09:22,500 --> 01:09:25,083
You don't have to tour.
You could stay in town.
1499
01:09:26,500 --> 01:09:29,333
- And do what?
- Sell out Ciro's every night.
1500
01:09:31,291 --> 01:09:34,125
We're not a house band.
1501
01:09:34,208 --> 01:09:36,416
I'd like to sell out New York.
1502
01:09:36,500 --> 01:09:39,291
I'd like to sell out Chicago
and Miami, too.
1503
01:09:39,375 --> 01:09:41,208
- I know.
- Hmm.
1504
01:09:41,291 --> 01:09:42,958
Eight weeks.
1505
01:09:43,041 --> 01:09:45,416
I'll come wherever you are
on the weekends.
1506
01:09:46,625 --> 01:09:48,767
So it'll be important that you not
fall in love with someone else
1507
01:09:48,791 --> 01:09:50,208
Mondays through Fridays.
1508
01:09:50,291 --> 01:09:52,208
Agreed.
1509
01:09:52,291 --> 01:09:54,017
Should we open the champagne,
take our clothes off
1510
01:09:54,041 --> 01:09:55,458
and go skinny-dipping in the pool?
1511
01:09:55,541 --> 01:09:57,750
That bottle of champagne
is basically a grenade now,
1512
01:09:57,833 --> 01:09:59,583
but all your other ideas were good.
1513
01:09:59,666 --> 01:10:02,875
Lucy, Lucy, Jesus.
1514
01:10:02,958 --> 01:10:04,208
Wow.
1515
01:10:04,291 --> 01:10:05,666
You're gonna be a movie star.
1516
01:10:07,500 --> 01:10:09,708
You comfortable with that?
1517
01:10:10,958 --> 01:10:13,458
Am I comfortable with that?
1518
01:10:23,500 --> 01:10:25,541
That bottle has comic timing.
1519
01:10:36,375 --> 01:10:38,750
I've been at the studio
for almost ten years.
1520
01:10:38,833 --> 01:10:40,513
I've never been in the president's office.
1521
01:10:40,583 --> 01:10:43,708
Mr. Koerner isn't the president.
He's the head of production.
1522
01:10:44,791 --> 01:10:46,875
Second in command.
1523
01:10:46,958 --> 01:10:48,583
Still higher than I've ever gotten.
1524
01:10:51,208 --> 01:10:53,041
- Yes, sir.
- Send her in.
1525
01:10:53,125 --> 01:10:54,291
You can go on in.
1526
01:10:59,666 --> 01:11:01,375
Lucille.
1527
01:11:01,458 --> 01:11:03,625
- Charles Koerner.
- Lucille Ball.
1528
01:11:03,708 --> 01:11:05,416
You like Lucille or Lucy?
1529
01:11:05,500 --> 01:11:07,125
Lucy's fine. I mean either's fine.
1530
01:11:07,208 --> 01:11:08,750
- Lucy.
- All right.
1531
01:11:08,833 --> 01:11:10,708
And do I call you Charlie?
1532
01:11:10,791 --> 01:11:12,791
Anyone as brilliant as you were
in The Big Street
1533
01:11:12,875 --> 01:11:14,583
can call me Betsy and I wouldn't care.
1534
01:11:14,666 --> 01:11:16,250
Thank you.
1535
01:11:16,333 --> 01:11:18,333
Please, sit. Sit here.
1536
01:11:21,625 --> 01:11:23,208
Thank you.
1537
01:11:24,416 --> 01:11:27,375
That was a whole new side of you
we've never seen.
1538
01:11:27,458 --> 01:11:28,625
Where's that been?
1539
01:11:28,708 --> 01:11:30,875
It's been buried under bad movies.
1540
01:11:30,958 --> 01:11:33,583
I've heard you make
some form of that joke before.
1541
01:11:33,666 --> 01:11:37,000
Keep putting me in pictures like
The Big Street, you won't hear it again.
1542
01:11:39,291 --> 01:11:41,375
We're dropping your contract, Lucy.
1543
01:11:43,583 --> 01:11:45,583
- No, it-it's not a joke.
- That was...
1544
01:11:47,500 --> 01:11:50,000
RKO is dropping your contract.
1545
01:11:52,291 --> 01:11:53,875
I don't understand.
1546
01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:57,000
We don't have anything for you.
1547
01:11:59,250 --> 01:12:01,458
But that...
1548
01:12:06,083 --> 01:12:07,666
This is happening fast.
1549
01:12:07,750 --> 01:12:08,916
The Big Street was a hit.
1550
01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:10,583
It was a critical hit.
1551
01:12:10,666 --> 01:12:12,684
I get that there wasn't
a stampede to the box office,
1552
01:12:12,708 --> 01:12:14,059
but you didn't lose money, did you?
1553
01:12:14,083 --> 01:12:16,250
- No.
- Do you understand the conditions
1554
01:12:16,333 --> 01:12:18,583
under which this picture was finished?
1555
01:12:18,666 --> 01:12:19,851
No, it has nothing to do
with conditions...
1556
01:12:19,875 --> 01:12:22,625
Damon Runyon left town
before principal photography,
1557
01:12:22,708 --> 01:12:25,791
our director joined the Army
during postproduction,
1558
01:12:25,875 --> 01:12:28,833
and our editor died.
1559
01:12:28,916 --> 01:12:31,083
He just flat-out died.
1560
01:12:31,166 --> 01:12:33,458
- There were a number of obstacles.
- That's accurate.
1561
01:12:33,541 --> 01:12:35,726
- Did you read the reviews?
- They were very impressive.
1562
01:12:35,750 --> 01:12:37,041
They were more than impressive.
1563
01:12:37,125 --> 01:12:40,000
This has nothing to do with
your performance in The Big Street.
1564
01:12:40,083 --> 01:12:43,125
But it should have everything to do
with my performance in The Big Street.
1565
01:12:43,208 --> 01:12:47,666
I... I showed what I can do, and that's
just the beginning of what I can do.
1566
01:12:47,750 --> 01:12:49,458
That is just the beginning of it.
1567
01:12:52,916 --> 01:12:54,666
Are you sure this isn't a joke?
1568
01:12:54,750 --> 01:12:56,375
It's a tough business.
1569
01:12:56,458 --> 01:12:57,500
I know that!
1570
01:12:57,583 --> 01:12:59,666
I've been in it since I was 14!
1571
01:12:59,750 --> 01:13:01,375
But you're 35 now.
1572
01:13:03,416 --> 01:13:05,458
- And that is the problem?
- No.
1573
01:13:05,541 --> 01:13:08,625
The problem is you're really 39,
aren't you?
1574
01:13:10,041 --> 01:13:11,333
Hmm.
1575
01:13:11,416 --> 01:13:15,000
39-year-olds don't go to see your movies?
1576
01:13:16,083 --> 01:13:18,375
They don't want to see stories
about themselves?
1577
01:13:18,458 --> 01:13:22,500
You came through for us when Judy Holliday
and Rita Hayworth were on other pictures,
1578
01:13:22,583 --> 01:13:24,875
and we didn't want to lose Fonda.
1579
01:13:24,958 --> 01:13:28,333
Now, this studio has a handshake
understanding with Metro and Warner,
1580
01:13:28,416 --> 01:13:31,083
and they'll loan us Holliday or Hayworth,
1581
01:13:31,166 --> 01:13:35,500
so we just don't have enough for you
to warrant keeping you under contract.
1582
01:13:35,583 --> 01:13:38,541
Judy Holliday does one thing very well,
but it's just one thing.
1583
01:13:38,625 --> 01:13:40,333
I know how you're feeling right now.
1584
01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:43,708
I've had to have this conversation
a hundred times.
1585
01:13:43,791 --> 01:13:46,416
I'm surprised
because you're terrible at it.
1586
01:13:47,875 --> 01:13:49,291
Can I make a suggestion?
1587
01:13:50,875 --> 01:13:52,166
Radio.
1588
01:13:53,791 --> 01:13:55,375
The hell did you just say to me?
1589
01:13:55,458 --> 01:13:57,333
You've got the voice for it.
1590
01:13:57,416 --> 01:13:59,833
Look, I've noticed there's a lot
you can do with your voice.
1591
01:13:59,916 --> 01:14:02,208
You should think about radio, Lucy.
1592
01:14:05,541 --> 01:14:07,833
And you should go fuck yourself, Betsy.
1593
01:14:27,916 --> 01:14:29,416
Lucy?
1594
01:14:30,708 --> 01:14:32,416
What are you doing?
1595
01:14:32,500 --> 01:14:34,625
I'm reading scripts.
1596
01:14:36,166 --> 01:14:39,375
Oh, it's 3:00 in the morning.
1597
01:14:39,458 --> 01:14:41,708
I know.
1598
01:14:41,791 --> 01:14:43,583
I'm drunk, too.
1599
01:14:44,583 --> 01:14:46,250
I know why you like drinking.
1600
01:14:46,333 --> 01:14:49,083
I didn't get it till about two hours ago.
1601
01:14:50,875 --> 01:14:52,875
You read any good movies?
1602
01:14:52,958 --> 01:14:55,291
These are radio pilots.
1603
01:14:55,375 --> 01:14:57,250
Oh, yeah?
1604
01:14:57,333 --> 01:14:58,375
Yeah.
1605
01:14:58,458 --> 01:15:01,625
There's nothing wrong with radio.
1606
01:15:01,708 --> 01:15:02,958
I do it all the time.
1607
01:15:03,041 --> 01:15:04,875
You're a bandleader.
1608
01:15:17,083 --> 01:15:19,375
You know, Bataan was a hit, too.
1609
01:15:20,541 --> 01:15:21,625
I didn't hear you.
1610
01:15:21,708 --> 01:15:23,750
Bataan was a hit.
1611
01:15:23,833 --> 01:15:26,208
I was good.
1612
01:15:26,291 --> 01:15:29,041
The reviews were valentines,
and I didn't bang a drum.
1613
01:15:30,125 --> 01:15:32,309
It would have led to better parts,
except I had to go to...
1614
01:15:32,333 --> 01:15:34,166
what do you call it?...
1615
01:15:34,250 --> 01:15:37,041
fight World War II.
1616
01:15:39,416 --> 01:15:42,541
And now those crappy little parts in
pictures you wouldn't pay a nickel to see
1617
01:15:42,625 --> 01:15:45,708
- if it was the only available air-conditioning in the...
- Des.
1618
01:15:45,791 --> 01:15:47,791
I can't get them.
1619
01:16:13,416 --> 01:16:15,583
Gee, honey, are you sure
those bandages are fake?
1620
01:16:15,666 --> 01:16:18,000
- Oh, yeah.
- Are you sure you're all right?
1621
01:16:18,083 --> 01:16:20,541
- Yeah, honey, I'm fine.
- Oh, yeah... oh, let me help you.
1622
01:16:20,625 --> 01:16:21,625
Oh.
1623
01:16:21,708 --> 01:16:24,708
It's a good thing
the Mertzes had their awning up.
1624
01:16:24,791 --> 01:16:26,208
Oh, honey.
1625
01:16:26,291 --> 01:16:28,583
It was all my fault.
1626
01:16:28,666 --> 01:16:30,958
No, it was my fault, honey.
1627
01:16:31,041 --> 01:16:32,250
Weren't we silly?
1628
01:16:32,333 --> 01:16:34,000
Yes. We will never argue again.
1629
01:16:34,083 --> 01:16:36,083
Ah, baby.
1630
01:16:37,375 --> 01:16:40,458
- Lucy, are you okay?!
- Yeah, I'm fine.
1631
01:16:40,541 --> 01:16:41,958
- You sure?
- I'm sure.
1632
01:16:42,041 --> 01:16:43,559
Thank goodness you're all right.
1633
01:16:43,583 --> 01:16:44,833
Why? What's the matter?
1634
01:16:44,916 --> 01:16:47,125
When I told Ethel
the whole gag was my idea,
1635
01:16:47,208 --> 01:16:48,875
she got mad and went home to her mother.
1636
01:16:48,958 --> 01:16:50,541
- Oh...!
- Oh, no.
1637
01:16:50,625 --> 01:16:52,250
And we cut. Good.
1638
01:16:52,333 --> 01:16:53,601
Is that lunch?
1639
01:16:53,625 --> 01:16:54,958
That's one hour for lunch!
1640
01:16:55,041 --> 01:16:57,250
We'll do notes onstage after and go again.
1641
01:16:57,333 --> 01:16:59,208
Uh, one quick thing.
1642
01:16:59,291 --> 01:17:00,625
The table scene is getting good.
1643
01:17:00,708 --> 01:17:01,708
Yeah, it's not.
1644
01:17:01,791 --> 01:17:03,541
I wanted to circle back again and express
1645
01:17:03,625 --> 01:17:06,458
my serious concern about
Ricky's entrance at the top.
1646
01:17:06,541 --> 01:17:09,267
I brought it up at the table read Monday.
There haven't been new pages.
1647
01:17:09,291 --> 01:17:11,083
- Because it's gonna work.
- Hear me out.
1648
01:17:11,166 --> 01:17:12,666
- Okay.
- Right now,
1649
01:17:12,750 --> 01:17:14,430
Lucy is trimming the flowers on the table.
1650
01:17:14,500 --> 01:17:16,416
Ricky opens the door and comes in.
1651
01:17:16,500 --> 01:17:18,166
We're gonna have to cut the flowers.
1652
01:17:18,250 --> 01:17:21,000
I don't mean "cut the flowers."
I mean cut the flowers.
1653
01:17:21,083 --> 01:17:23,833
I couldn't understand the difference
between those two line readings.
1654
01:17:23,916 --> 01:17:26,276
We're running long.
We have to cut the bit with the flowers.
1655
01:17:26,333 --> 01:17:27,458
How long?
1656
01:17:27,541 --> 01:17:28,791
About a minute.
1657
01:17:28,875 --> 01:17:31,125
All right, well,
we'll get back to the flowers.
1658
01:17:31,208 --> 01:17:33,541
The front door opens, Ricky comes in.
1659
01:17:33,625 --> 01:17:35,392
Lucy doesn't see or hear him,
which is unusual
1660
01:17:35,416 --> 01:17:37,208
because the front door is, you know,
1661
01:17:37,291 --> 01:17:38,583
- right there.
- Mm-hmm.
1662
01:17:38,666 --> 01:17:40,346
And in previous episodes,
we've established
1663
01:17:40,375 --> 01:17:42,255
Lucy's eyes and ears
are connected to her brain.
1664
01:17:42,333 --> 01:17:44,083
We-we buy the conceit.
1665
01:17:44,166 --> 01:17:46,500
- I'm sorry?
- We buy it.
1666
01:17:46,583 --> 01:17:49,500
Lucy is so focused
on making the table nice
1667
01:17:49,583 --> 01:17:51,708
she doesn't even notice
Ricky coming in the door.
1668
01:17:51,791 --> 01:17:53,500
- Okay, I'll run with that.
- Yeah.
1669
01:17:53,583 --> 01:17:55,208
Ricky walks up to her quietly.
1670
01:17:55,291 --> 01:17:57,791
He puts his hands
over her eyes and says...
1671
01:17:57,875 --> 01:17:59,500
"Guess who it is."
1672
01:17:59,583 --> 01:18:03,125
- And then Lucy says, "Bill? Sam? Pat? Ralph?"
- Yeah.
1673
01:18:03,208 --> 01:18:04,726
- She's teasing him.
- Yes, she's teasing him.
1674
01:18:04,750 --> 01:18:06,208
That's clear. Ricky responds...
1675
01:18:06,291 --> 01:18:07,583
- "No."
- "No."
1676
01:18:07,666 --> 01:18:10,875
And the stage direction for Ricky
says "burning."
1677
01:18:10,958 --> 01:18:11,958
"No!"
1678
01:18:12,041 --> 01:18:13,333
He's upset.
1679
01:18:13,416 --> 01:18:14,833
Lucy continues the teasing.
1680
01:18:14,916 --> 01:18:16,750
"George? Julius? Stephen? Ivan?"
1681
01:18:16,833 --> 01:18:18,333
- Yeah.
- We changed that to
1682
01:18:18,416 --> 01:18:19,708
"Pedro? Julio? Juan? Guillermo?"
1683
01:18:19,791 --> 01:18:21,309
"Because those are Spanish names.
1684
01:18:21,333 --> 01:18:23,708
"I mean Mexican. Cuban. Latin.
1685
01:18:23,791 --> 01:18:25,208
"They're Brazilian names.
1686
01:18:25,291 --> 01:18:26,875
Turkish."
1687
01:18:26,958 --> 01:18:28,351
- You done? - Yeah.
- We're moving into a meal penalty.
1688
01:18:28,375 --> 01:18:29,500
Yeah, okay.
1689
01:18:29,583 --> 01:18:30,958
Lucy guesses some names.
1690
01:18:31,041 --> 01:18:32,166
Yeah, teasingly.
1691
01:18:32,250 --> 01:18:36,958
And the script indicates that Ricky
takes his hands away from Lucy's eyes,
1692
01:18:37,041 --> 01:18:38,541
turns her around and says...
1693
01:18:38,625 --> 01:18:42,041
- "No, it's me."
- So my question again, Jess:
1694
01:18:42,125 --> 01:18:46,416
Does Ricky honestly, truly believe
that there might be eight different men
1695
01:18:46,500 --> 01:18:51,750
who routinely walk into their apartment,
all of whom sound exactly like Desi Arnaz?
1696
01:18:52,833 --> 01:18:54,666
You think we're saying Ricky's stupid?
1697
01:18:54,750 --> 01:18:56,625
I think you're saying the audience is.
1698
01:18:56,708 --> 01:18:59,416
And that's something for which
they won't soon forgive you.
1699
01:18:59,500 --> 01:19:01,291
You charge for these lessons?
1700
01:19:01,375 --> 01:19:02,416
A ton.
1701
01:19:02,500 --> 01:19:05,875
For the sake of the joke,
the audience will take the leap with us.
1702
01:19:05,958 --> 01:19:08,833
They will, but you'll need a busload
of orthopedists when they land.
1703
01:19:08,916 --> 01:19:09,916
Jess.
1704
01:19:10,000 --> 01:19:11,708
Let's talk about this after lunch, huh?
1705
01:19:11,791 --> 01:19:13,666
- I have an idea.
- I got a crew here,
1706
01:19:13,750 --> 01:19:15,184
and we're about
to run into a penalty, so...
1707
01:19:15,208 --> 01:19:18,333
- Lucy is working on the flowers.
- We're cutting the flowers for time.
1708
01:19:18,416 --> 01:19:19,892
I don't mean literally
cutting the flowers in the scene...
1709
01:19:19,916 --> 01:19:21,583
I cannot go through that again.
1710
01:19:21,666 --> 01:19:23,208
Ricky opens the door, comes in,
1711
01:19:23,291 --> 01:19:26,416
shuts the door, as we've seen him do
in 37 episodes.
1712
01:19:26,500 --> 01:19:28,250
Lucy doesn't acknowledge him.
1713
01:19:28,333 --> 01:19:30,101
- Uh, so far, you're describing the script.
- Right.
1714
01:19:30,125 --> 01:19:32,434
But instead of playing
the hands-over-the-eyes guessing game,
1715
01:19:32,458 --> 01:19:34,333
Ricky just stands there.
1716
01:19:34,416 --> 01:19:37,833
He can't understand why Lucy doesn't
notice he's home any more than we can.
1717
01:19:37,916 --> 01:19:41,208
He stands there for a full beat,
and then another,
1718
01:19:41,291 --> 01:19:45,083
and then merrily,
in a slightly exaggerated manner,
1719
01:19:45,166 --> 01:19:48,208
as we've heard him do
a hundred times, he says...
1720
01:19:48,291 --> 01:19:50,250
"Lucy, I'm home!"
1721
01:19:51,708 --> 01:19:53,708
For Ricky is funny.
1722
01:19:53,791 --> 01:19:55,500
Hey, Luce?
1723
01:19:55,583 --> 01:19:57,875
Let's talk about it after lunch.
1724
01:19:59,541 --> 01:20:01,416
- Jim.
- That's lunch!
1725
01:20:01,500 --> 01:20:02,583
One hour!
1726
01:20:02,666 --> 01:20:04,666
Back onstage for notes!
1727
01:20:04,750 --> 01:20:06,590
All right, lunch!
1728
01:20:10,458 --> 01:20:11,666
Hang on!
1729
01:20:11,750 --> 01:20:13,458
Desi, does that work for you?
1730
01:20:13,541 --> 01:20:15,166
Works perfect.
1731
01:20:16,250 --> 01:20:18,250
We'll talk about it after lunch.
1732
01:20:20,166 --> 01:20:22,041
It needed to be fixed.
1733
01:20:32,333 --> 01:20:33,892
I think we can get more
out of "hypocrite."
1734
01:20:33,916 --> 01:20:35,583
- Yeah.
- Yeah? Like what?
1735
01:20:35,666 --> 01:20:38,333
Like Lucy turns to Desi and says,
1736
01:20:38,416 --> 01:20:40,708
"Well, it's nice to know
I'm married to a hypocrite."
1737
01:20:40,791 --> 01:20:42,666
And Desi gets his back up and says...
1738
01:20:42,750 --> 01:20:44,041
"Hypocrite?"
1739
01:20:44,125 --> 01:20:46,375
Then turns to Fred and says,
"What's a hypocrite?"
1740
01:20:46,458 --> 01:20:48,750
Fred tells him,
"It's a person who says one thing
1741
01:20:48,833 --> 01:20:50,208
- but does another."
- Mm-hmm.
1742
01:20:50,291 --> 01:20:52,541
Desi says, "Thank you,"
turns back to Lucy and says...
1743
01:20:52,625 --> 01:20:54,767
- "Oh, yeah?"
- Yeah, that's good. That's good.
1744
01:20:54,791 --> 01:20:56,511
Yeah, that's exactly
what I was gonna pitch.
1745
01:20:56,583 --> 01:20:58,541
- But I pitched it faster.
- By interrupting me.
1746
01:20:58,625 --> 01:21:00,226
How do you think I got to be
a woman in a comedy room?
1747
01:21:01,333 --> 01:21:02,833
Hey, is now a good time?
1748
01:21:02,916 --> 01:21:04,142
Yeah. Madelyn had a good idea.
1749
01:21:04,166 --> 01:21:07,833
Desi's entrance, we shoot it both ways
and see which one gets the bigger laugh.
1750
01:21:07,916 --> 01:21:09,208
That was my idea.
1751
01:21:09,291 --> 01:21:10,833
It's a bad idea.
1752
01:21:10,916 --> 01:21:12,250
Mm. It's just not your day.
1753
01:21:12,333 --> 01:21:14,333
- Can I have a minute in your office?
- Yeah.
1754
01:21:14,375 --> 01:21:15,625
Sure.
1755
01:21:15,708 --> 01:21:17,458
All right.
1756
01:21:19,041 --> 01:21:21,416
What's wrong with shooting it both ways?
1757
01:21:21,500 --> 01:21:23,875
You'll be on the floor
during the show, right?
1758
01:21:23,958 --> 01:21:25,458
I'll be where I always am.
1759
01:21:25,541 --> 01:21:27,291
In full view of the audience?
1760
01:21:27,375 --> 01:21:28,875
I suppose.
1761
01:21:28,958 --> 01:21:30,375
Since we're doing it both ways,
1762
01:21:30,458 --> 01:21:33,458
how about we do it once with your pants on
and once with your pants off?
1763
01:21:33,541 --> 01:21:35,458
- That's not the same.
- It is.
1764
01:21:35,541 --> 01:21:39,166
And I don't want to do the version
with my pants off in front of 200 people.
1765
01:21:39,250 --> 01:21:42,125
But that's not what I need
to talk to you about.
1766
01:21:42,208 --> 01:21:44,267
You're not gonna tell me
you're pregnant again, are you?
1767
01:21:44,291 --> 01:21:47,333
No.
I'm still pregnant from before, but no.
1768
01:21:47,416 --> 01:21:50,125
Jess, you know how much I value you.
1769
01:21:50,208 --> 01:21:52,333
- I think I do.
- You know you do.
1770
01:21:52,416 --> 01:21:53,500
Okay.
1771
01:21:53,583 --> 01:21:55,708
And you also know what it is
Desi does around here.
1772
01:21:55,791 --> 01:21:57,458
Sure.
1773
01:21:57,541 --> 01:22:00,125
- I mean, every business decision goes through Desi.
- Mm-hmm.
1774
01:22:00,208 --> 01:22:03,208
In fact, most business decisions
are made by Desi.
1775
01:22:03,291 --> 01:22:06,083
- You married a very bright man.
- I did.
1776
01:22:06,166 --> 01:22:08,458
He makes a lot of creative decisions, too.
1777
01:22:08,541 --> 01:22:10,500
Mm. I'm not sure I'd say a lot.
1778
01:22:10,583 --> 01:22:11,791
I would. I'd say a lot.
1779
01:22:11,875 --> 01:22:13,625
He devised the camera system that we use.
1780
01:22:13,708 --> 01:22:16,625
He's the reason the East Coast
doesn't see the show on a foggy kinescope.
1781
01:22:16,708 --> 01:22:18,583
- Yeah.
- And even though we use three cameras,
1782
01:22:18,666 --> 01:22:20,916
the studio audience can see every scene.
1783
01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:22,916
- That's him, too.
- Mm-hmm.
1784
01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:24,559
And the four of us, the cast,
we can see the audience.
1785
01:22:24,583 --> 01:22:25,767
I give him a lot of credit for that.
1786
01:22:25,791 --> 01:22:29,166
He's the one who thought up
Lucy being pregnant on the show.
1787
01:22:30,250 --> 01:22:32,791
That is never gonna happen,
'cause no matter what CBS says,
1788
01:22:32,875 --> 01:22:34,184
Philip Morris is never
gonna let it happen.
1789
01:22:34,208 --> 01:22:36,125
But, like I said, I give him credit.
1790
01:22:36,208 --> 01:22:38,708
That's the thing, though. You don't.
1791
01:22:38,791 --> 01:22:39,958
What do you mean?
1792
01:22:40,041 --> 01:22:42,291
He doesn't get credit
as an executive producer,
1793
01:22:42,375 --> 01:22:44,750
which, let's face it, is what he is.
1794
01:22:44,833 --> 01:22:47,125
You get sole credit.
1795
01:22:47,208 --> 01:22:49,708
I didn't win my credit in a raffle!
I earn it.
1796
01:22:49,791 --> 01:22:52,625
I'm the showrunner! Not to mention
being the creator of the show.
1797
01:22:52,708 --> 01:22:54,833
I don't see how we could
do the show without you.
1798
01:22:54,916 --> 01:22:56,083
You absolutely could not.
1799
01:22:56,166 --> 01:22:59,000
I don't see how we could do the show
without Desi either.
1800
01:22:59,083 --> 01:23:02,083
Because he plays Ricky,
which he does get a screen credit for.
1801
01:23:02,166 --> 01:23:03,684
- Jess...
- Is this something our agents should be talking about?
1802
01:23:03,708 --> 01:23:06,101
- No.
- 'Cause I'm not at all comfortable with this conversation.
1803
01:23:06,125 --> 01:23:08,375
I'm about to make you less comfortable.
1804
01:23:09,416 --> 01:23:11,666
I need you to help me save my marriage.
1805
01:23:14,250 --> 01:23:17,083
I need you to help me save my marriage.
1806
01:23:25,083 --> 01:23:27,541
What do you think
they're talking about in there?
1807
01:23:27,625 --> 01:23:30,375
I think they're talking about you.
1808
01:23:30,458 --> 01:23:33,291
I think they want to pay you less
because you're not as funny as I am.
1809
01:23:33,375 --> 01:23:35,791
Mary Pat, would you mind asking Desi
if I can come see him?
1810
01:23:35,875 --> 01:23:37,291
Sure.
1811
01:23:39,166 --> 01:23:40,500
Madelyn?
1812
01:23:40,583 --> 01:23:41,583
Yeah.
1813
01:23:48,291 --> 01:23:50,833
- Was everything all right in there?
- Yeah.
1814
01:23:50,916 --> 01:23:52,000
- So, listen.
- Mm-hmm.
1815
01:23:52,083 --> 01:23:55,043
It has to be coherent, because if it's
anything goes, then nothing's funny.
1816
01:23:55,125 --> 01:23:57,833
- Anything Goes was a hit.
- Not Cole Porter's Anything Goes.
1817
01:23:57,916 --> 01:23:59,750
- I mean if an...
- I know.
1818
01:23:59,833 --> 01:24:01,750
- Why are you telling me?
- The opening,
1819
01:24:01,833 --> 01:24:04,625
Ricky's entrance with his hands
over my eyes, that was Jess, right?
1820
01:24:06,583 --> 01:24:11,041
Outside of that room, we make it a point
not to talk about who wrote what.
1821
01:24:11,125 --> 01:24:12,708
It wasn't Jess?
1822
01:24:12,791 --> 01:24:13,833
Again...
1823
01:24:13,916 --> 01:24:15,309
You know I'm right about the logic.
1824
01:24:15,333 --> 01:24:19,166
Why aren't you backing me up instead of
endorsing a plan to shoot it both ways?
1825
01:24:19,250 --> 01:24:22,291
Listen, why don't we get together
for a drink or a swim this weekend,
1826
01:24:22,375 --> 01:24:23,916
and we can put it on the agenda?
1827
01:24:24,000 --> 01:24:27,416
Because the show is tomorrow
and I'm fine talking about it now.
1828
01:24:27,500 --> 01:24:30,226
By all means, let's unnecessarily add more
to what you're worried about this week.
1829
01:24:30,250 --> 01:24:32,500
- I'm not worried! I'm...
- Shh.
1830
01:24:32,583 --> 01:24:33,791
I'm not worried.
1831
01:24:33,875 --> 01:24:36,666
I'm saying I count on you
to be the firewall, to be...
1832
01:24:36,750 --> 01:24:40,500
to-to make sure... just... logic, okay?
1833
01:24:40,583 --> 01:24:42,833
I won't say who wrote what,
but I can tell you
1834
01:24:42,916 --> 01:24:45,059
that I'm the lady in there
trying to make Lucy smarter.
1835
01:24:45,083 --> 01:24:46,166
Excuse me?
1836
01:24:46,250 --> 01:24:48,791
I'm the one trying, every week, to...
1837
01:24:48,875 --> 01:24:50,583
Lucy's dumb?
1838
01:24:50,666 --> 01:24:51,875
I didn't say that.
1839
01:24:51,958 --> 01:24:54,208
You're trying...
1840
01:24:54,291 --> 01:24:58,125
struggling, it sounds like...
to make Lucy smarter?
1841
01:24:58,208 --> 01:25:00,541
I created this character with you.
1842
01:25:00,625 --> 01:25:02,416
And she needs to be smarter?
1843
01:25:02,500 --> 01:25:07,166
She sometimes, for the sake of comedy,
is infantilized.
1844
01:25:08,458 --> 01:25:10,666
This is a crazy week,
1845
01:25:10,750 --> 01:25:12,791
time and place to be having
this conversation.
1846
01:25:12,875 --> 01:25:15,125
- This is important...
- How is she infantilized?
1847
01:25:15,208 --> 01:25:16,750
She literally says, "Waah."
1848
01:25:16,833 --> 01:25:18,750
'Cause when she does,
60 million people laugh,
1849
01:25:18,833 --> 01:25:22,125
just like with Lou Costello
and Stan Laurel, and you get paid.
1850
01:25:22,208 --> 01:25:25,041
When those two grown men
play slow-witted five-year-olds, I cringe.
1851
01:25:25,125 --> 01:25:26,875
Then I question your comedy IQ.
1852
01:25:26,958 --> 01:25:28,375
No, you don't.
1853
01:25:28,458 --> 01:25:29,809
You think I'm the funniest writer
in the room,
1854
01:25:29,833 --> 01:25:32,250
and that's why
you're talking to me and not Jess.
1855
01:25:35,666 --> 01:25:37,333
Many people regard Lucy as clever.
1856
01:25:37,416 --> 01:25:39,625
I mean, she always has a plan
to overcome an obstacle.
1857
01:25:39,708 --> 01:25:43,375
Yeah, but oftentimes that obstacle
is her husband's permission.
1858
01:25:43,458 --> 01:25:47,958
You really think, this week, right now,
is the best time to talk about this?
1859
01:25:48,041 --> 01:25:51,625
No! I literally said that 30 seconds ago.
1860
01:25:52,625 --> 01:25:54,541
Look...
1861
01:25:54,625 --> 01:25:58,208
it's just a female perspective
from another generation.
1862
01:25:58,291 --> 01:26:00,083
Another generation?
1863
01:26:00,166 --> 01:26:02,000
Ah, you're on a roll.
1864
01:26:02,083 --> 01:26:04,916
Bette Davis, Bacall, Hepburn.
1865
01:26:05,000 --> 01:26:06,333
- Funny women.
- Judy Holliday.
1866
01:26:06,416 --> 01:26:08,041
Judy Holliday? Go to hell.
1867
01:26:08,125 --> 01:26:09,625
They are funny women.
1868
01:26:09,708 --> 01:26:12,208
And they're smart and tough
and they outsmart the men.
1869
01:26:12,291 --> 01:26:13,726
So why do you and Gracie Allen
feel like you have to...
1870
01:26:13,750 --> 01:26:15,250
Oh, stop. Okay.
1871
01:26:15,333 --> 01:26:16,500
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
1872
01:26:16,583 --> 01:26:18,458
Maddie, I love you.
1873
01:26:18,541 --> 01:26:19,916
You're like, I guess,
1874
01:26:20,000 --> 01:26:22,583
- a great-granddaughter to me from another generation.
- Hmm.
1875
01:26:22,666 --> 01:26:25,208
And my fervent wish for you
is that, one day,
1876
01:26:25,291 --> 01:26:26,851
you will be half as funny as Gracie Allen.
1877
01:26:26,875 --> 01:26:31,166
In the meantime, please remember
that Lucy and Ricky and Fred and Ethel,
1878
01:26:31,250 --> 01:26:34,000
if they live past tomorrow,
have to live in a reality
1879
01:26:34,083 --> 01:26:36,458
that accepts the physical laws
of the universe.
1880
01:26:36,541 --> 01:26:38,208
Ricky knows that Lucy doesn't believe
1881
01:26:38,291 --> 01:26:40,791
there are possibly eight other men
in the apartment!
1882
01:26:40,875 --> 01:26:42,083
Understood.
1883
01:26:43,541 --> 01:26:45,083
But I don't make that decision.
1884
01:26:46,458 --> 01:26:48,166
Let's go!
1885
01:26:53,416 --> 01:26:54,916
Mary Pat, cut the flowers.
1886
01:26:55,000 --> 01:26:56,559
And to be clear,
by "cut the flowers," I mean...
1887
01:26:56,583 --> 01:26:59,000
- She knows exactly what you mean.
- Yeah, let's go.
1888
01:27:00,750 --> 01:27:02,458
Judy Holliday.
1889
01:27:03,500 --> 01:27:04,833
This isn't happening.
1890
01:27:11,625 --> 01:27:14,250
Mr. Arnaz?
1891
01:27:14,333 --> 01:27:16,000
Come in.
1892
01:27:16,083 --> 01:27:18,750
Mr. Oppenheimer is here to see you
with Mr. Carroll and Miss Pugh.
1893
01:27:18,833 --> 01:27:21,333
Uh, nothing from Mr. Lyons yet?
1894
01:27:21,416 --> 01:27:22,416
No.
1895
01:27:23,708 --> 01:27:25,291
Anyone at Philip Morris?
1896
01:27:25,375 --> 01:27:26,708
No.
1897
01:27:31,833 --> 01:27:33,750
Gracias.
1898
01:27:33,833 --> 01:27:36,166
Acompáñame al escenario.
1899
01:27:36,250 --> 01:27:38,083
Walk me to the stage.
We're an hour behind.
1900
01:27:38,166 --> 01:27:40,101
Okay, Madelyn's got a new joke
for the second act.
1901
01:27:40,125 --> 01:27:42,875
I just this minute told Lucy
that we don't talk about who wrote what.
1902
01:27:42,958 --> 01:27:45,059
Madelyn came up with the joke
just seconds after I did.
1903
01:27:45,083 --> 01:27:47,791
Isn't it possible that two comedy writers
working on the same script
1904
01:27:47,875 --> 01:27:49,309
came up with the same joke
at the same time?
1905
01:27:49,333 --> 01:27:50,453
- It's possible.
- Thank you.
1906
01:27:50,500 --> 01:27:52,767
- Just not what happened.
- Do I need to be here for any of this?
1907
01:27:52,791 --> 01:27:55,000
Uh, "Hypocrite? What's a hypocrite?"
1908
01:27:55,083 --> 01:27:57,791
- So that's to Fred.
- Got it. Good.
1909
01:27:57,875 --> 01:27:59,392
- Is that what you wanted me for?
- Okay, no, no, no, no, no.
1910
01:27:59,416 --> 01:28:02,017
The hypocrite joke is for episode nine.
That's the script we're working on, okay?
1911
01:28:02,041 --> 01:28:03,958
If Lucy's gonna be pregnant...
Lucy Ricardo...
1912
01:28:04,041 --> 01:28:06,434
then we have to introduce it in nine,
according to your timetable.
1913
01:28:06,458 --> 01:28:09,601
- Yeah.
- So I just want to confirm that there's no chance we're doing that, right?
1914
01:28:09,625 --> 01:28:11,333
We are doing that.
1915
01:28:11,416 --> 01:28:13,166
You know Philip Morris won't let us.
1916
01:28:13,250 --> 01:28:15,434
And-and even if they did,
we don't want to see this girl pregnant.
1917
01:28:15,458 --> 01:28:16,642
We don't want to know that she's pregnant.
1918
01:28:16,666 --> 01:28:17,892
We don't want to know
how she got pregnant.
1919
01:28:17,916 --> 01:28:20,833
Do we have viewers who don't know
how women get pregnant?
1920
01:28:20,916 --> 01:28:22,416
Yeah, they're called children.
1921
01:28:22,500 --> 01:28:25,375
Uh, do any of these children have
younger brothers or sisters?
1922
01:28:25,458 --> 01:28:28,219
You know what, you know what else
a lot of our viewers are? Christian.
1923
01:28:28,291 --> 01:28:30,083
Ah, I'm way ahead of you.
1924
01:28:30,166 --> 01:28:35,708
I'm going to have a priest, a minister
and a rabbi review every script.
1925
01:28:35,791 --> 01:28:37,976
I'm gonna get rewritten by
a priest, a minister and a rabbi?
1926
01:28:38,000 --> 01:28:39,666
- Mm-hmm.
- A joke in there somewhere.
1927
01:28:39,750 --> 01:28:41,976
Good, because if I'm rewritten
by a priest, a minister and a rabbi,
1928
01:28:42,000 --> 01:28:43,267
there aren't gonna be many
left in the script.
1929
01:28:43,291 --> 01:28:44,571
- Good one.
- Uh, Des...
1930
01:28:44,625 --> 01:28:46,083
No, no, e-enough. Enough.
1931
01:28:46,166 --> 01:28:48,083
I sent a telegram to Alfred Lyons.
1932
01:28:48,166 --> 01:28:49,291
- You did.
- Yes.
1933
01:28:49,375 --> 01:28:50,851
And I've put the decision in his hands.
1934
01:28:50,875 --> 01:28:52,833
- Okay. Okay.
- All right.
1935
01:28:52,916 --> 01:28:54,250
Okay, good.
1936
01:28:54,333 --> 01:28:57,000
- You're that sure he's gonna say no, huh?
- I am.
1937
01:28:57,083 --> 01:28:59,083
- That it? Okay.
- Mm-hmm. - Yeah.
1938
01:28:59,166 --> 01:29:02,333
Oh, Bob, Bob, tell Desi that thing
you were saying before.
1939
01:29:03,416 --> 01:29:04,500
Me?
1940
01:29:04,583 --> 01:29:06,625
Yeah.
1941
01:29:06,708 --> 01:29:08,333
- Really?
- Guys.
1942
01:29:08,416 --> 01:29:09,958
No, it was interesting.
1943
01:29:10,041 --> 01:29:11,666
- Bob was saying that you...
- Hmm?
1944
01:29:11,750 --> 01:29:13,791
...are really the title character
of the show.
1945
01:29:13,875 --> 01:29:17,708
Because you are the "I" in I Love Lucy.
1946
01:29:18,916 --> 01:29:20,375
Mm-hmm.
1947
01:29:20,458 --> 01:29:22,138
So strictly speaking,
you have top billing.
1948
01:29:22,958 --> 01:29:25,250
I am the "I" in I Love Lucy.
1949
01:29:25,333 --> 01:29:27,291
Yeah.
1950
01:29:27,375 --> 01:29:28,875
I never thought of it that way.
1951
01:29:28,958 --> 01:29:30,916
- Yeah, you like that?
- I like that.
1952
01:29:31,000 --> 01:29:32,000
Yeah.
1953
01:29:32,083 --> 01:29:33,875
Jess...
1954
01:29:33,958 --> 01:29:37,333
patronize me again,
and I'll stick my hand down your throat
1955
01:29:37,416 --> 01:29:39,958
and pull your fucking lungs out.
1956
01:29:40,041 --> 01:29:41,791
- Look...
- Excuse me.
1957
01:29:41,875 --> 01:29:42,875
What is it?
1958
01:29:42,958 --> 01:29:44,666
It-It's a telegram for Mr. Arnaz.
1959
01:29:44,750 --> 01:29:47,416
- It's from Mr. Lyons and Philip Morris.
- Mm.
1960
01:29:48,833 --> 01:29:50,833
- Vamos a ver.
- Yeah.
1961
01:29:54,875 --> 01:29:56,041
Let's go, please.
1962
01:29:56,125 --> 01:29:58,166
- We are an hour behind.
- Yeah.
1963
01:30:03,833 --> 01:30:05,666
What does it say?
1964
01:30:06,750 --> 01:30:09,791
"To all Philip Morris and CBS employees:
1965
01:30:11,041 --> 01:30:13,166
Don't fuck with the Cuban."
1966
01:30:19,916 --> 01:30:22,625
"He didn't come home
and he hasn't called.
1967
01:30:22,708 --> 01:30:25,916
Not that it makes any difference to me."
1968
01:30:26,000 --> 01:30:28,708
"Oh, I can see that it doesn't make
any difference to you.
1969
01:30:28,791 --> 01:30:31,750
Why don't you call Ricky
and tell him you're sorry?"
1970
01:30:31,833 --> 01:30:35,125
"What? You think I'd allow my pride..."
Hmm.
1971
01:30:35,208 --> 01:30:38,416
"Do you think
I'd swallow my pride like that?"
1972
01:30:38,500 --> 01:30:39,500
Never.
1973
01:30:41,125 --> 01:30:42,392
What are you doing up?
1974
01:30:42,416 --> 01:30:45,208
I woke up and you weren't there.
1975
01:30:45,291 --> 01:30:49,291
So I went to the nursery
to see if everything was okay, and...
1976
01:30:49,375 --> 01:30:51,416
she kicked her blanket off, so I fixed it.
1977
01:30:51,500 --> 01:30:53,416
That woke her up.
1978
01:30:53,500 --> 01:30:56,125
But as you can see,
I got her back to sleep.
1979
01:30:57,916 --> 01:31:00,791
You know we pay a housekeeper
to do the laundry, right?
1980
01:31:01,875 --> 01:31:04,375
I like doing laundry.
I never get the chance.
1981
01:31:05,458 --> 01:31:08,166
Okay, I'm going to put her back
in her little apartment now.
1982
01:31:09,250 --> 01:31:10,416
You should come back to bed.
1983
01:31:10,500 --> 01:31:11,708
I will.
1984
01:31:17,791 --> 01:31:20,416
"Do you think I'd call him
and go crawling back?"
1985
01:31:20,500 --> 01:31:23,083
"What? Do you think I'd swallow my pride?"
1986
01:31:23,166 --> 01:31:26,791
"Do you think I'd call and go crawling..."
1987
01:31:35,625 --> 01:31:39,666
"What? Do you think
I'd swallow my pride like that?"
1988
01:33:05,333 --> 01:33:07,208
- Lucy?
- Over here.
1989
01:33:07,291 --> 01:33:08,750
Thanks, Bobby.
1990
01:33:08,833 --> 01:33:10,500
You got it, Bill.
1991
01:33:10,583 --> 01:33:12,125
What the hell?
1992
01:33:12,208 --> 01:33:14,125
Thanks for coming down.
1993
01:33:15,208 --> 01:33:18,083
- It's 2:00 in the morning.
- Sorry about that.
1994
01:33:20,541 --> 01:33:21,541
Kid, what's going on?
1995
01:33:21,625 --> 01:33:23,875
I'm gonna restage the dinner scene.
1996
01:33:23,958 --> 01:33:26,291
Let's go to my dressing room
and call Desi.
1997
01:33:26,375 --> 01:33:29,166
No, Desi's at home with the baby.
We can do this.
1998
01:33:29,250 --> 01:33:31,250
- Does he know you're here?
- He's sleeping.
1999
01:33:31,333 --> 01:33:33,125
Let me take you home.
2000
01:33:34,125 --> 01:33:36,416
- Is that him?
- That's Viv.
2001
01:33:36,500 --> 01:33:38,583
You called her, too?
2002
01:33:38,666 --> 01:33:41,750
I'm restaging the dinner scene.
2003
01:33:41,833 --> 01:33:43,809
This isn't for beginners, you know.
This isn't school.
2004
01:33:43,833 --> 01:33:45,541
I don't hire the directors.
2005
01:33:45,625 --> 01:33:47,958
I know. I'm just saying.
2006
01:33:48,041 --> 01:33:50,875
- What's happening here?
- Thanks for coming, Viv.
2007
01:33:50,958 --> 01:33:53,083
- Is everything all right?
- The three of us
2008
01:33:53,166 --> 01:33:55,208
are on an empty soundstage
at 2:00 in the morning,
2009
01:33:55,291 --> 01:33:57,541
she's drunk, I'm not.
2010
01:33:57,625 --> 01:33:59,458
So, yeah, everything's great.
Why do you ask?
2011
01:33:59,541 --> 01:34:01,517
Your call just said to come to the stage,
that it was an emergency.
2012
01:34:01,541 --> 01:34:03,392
- So I...
- We need to re-block the dinner scene.
2013
01:34:03,416 --> 01:34:05,333
It's not gonna take long.
2014
01:34:05,416 --> 01:34:06,833
- What?
- You heard her right.
2015
01:34:06,916 --> 01:34:10,291
It won't take long.
We just need to make an adjustment.
2016
01:34:11,625 --> 01:34:15,333
Two people who are fighting
have to share a seat at a dinner table.
2017
01:34:15,416 --> 01:34:21,166
First thing, we take this, move it upstage
so the camera can see you.
2018
01:34:21,250 --> 01:34:24,875
Now, this can't just be
a mishmash of pushing.
2019
01:34:24,958 --> 01:34:27,166
Can't just be a scrum.
2020
01:34:27,250 --> 01:34:29,000
Each move has to be articulate.
2021
01:34:29,083 --> 01:34:31,416
So Ethel elbows Fred.
2022
01:34:31,500 --> 01:34:32,500
Elbow him.
2023
01:34:34,000 --> 01:34:36,166
Fred elbows Ethel a little harder.
2024
01:34:36,250 --> 01:34:37,290
Ow!
2025
01:34:37,333 --> 01:34:39,708
Ethel elbows Fred harder.
2026
01:34:39,791 --> 01:34:41,208
- Hey!
- Then Fred.
2027
01:34:42,375 --> 01:34:44,695
Now hit each other at the same time
and fall off the chair.
2028
01:34:47,916 --> 01:34:48,916
That's that.
2029
01:34:48,958 --> 01:34:52,583
Let's run it a couple of times at speed.
Hmm?
2030
01:34:53,583 --> 01:34:54,750
Did something happen?
2031
01:34:54,833 --> 01:34:56,916
- I'm sorry?
- At home.
2032
01:34:57,000 --> 01:34:59,250
- Did something just happen?
- Uh...
2033
01:34:59,333 --> 01:35:01,708
No. I was, um...
2034
01:35:03,708 --> 01:35:05,500
No.
2035
01:35:05,583 --> 01:35:07,583
I was doing some laundry and...
2036
01:35:07,666 --> 01:35:09,166
No.
2037
01:35:11,916 --> 01:35:13,916
Yeah. Yeah.
2038
01:35:14,000 --> 01:35:15,333
I wanted to fix this beat.
2039
01:35:15,416 --> 01:35:18,000
I... I couldn't sleep.
2040
01:35:23,291 --> 01:35:26,791
It's like when you're not sure
if you've left the oven unlocked.
2041
01:35:26,875 --> 01:35:28,434
Door unlocked. Nothing.
2042
01:35:28,458 --> 01:35:29,498
I wanted to fix this beat.
2043
01:35:29,541 --> 01:35:31,375
Let's do it again.
2044
01:35:37,083 --> 01:35:40,208
You know I did this show
so Desi and I could be together?
2045
01:35:42,125 --> 01:35:44,500
I had no idea it was gonna be a hit.
2046
01:35:47,208 --> 01:35:49,226
I just thought,
"Well, the construction department's gonna
2047
01:35:49,250 --> 01:35:52,210
build us a little apartment, and
that's where we'll live most of the time."
2048
01:35:52,291 --> 01:35:53,958
You know?
2049
01:35:57,541 --> 01:35:59,416
And it worked out.
2050
01:35:59,500 --> 01:36:01,250
This is where...
2051
01:36:08,250 --> 01:36:10,791
It's like a story
you'd read a little girl.
2052
01:36:11,875 --> 01:36:13,875
A witch puts a curse on a woman.
2053
01:36:13,958 --> 01:36:17,125
She'll be adored by the man she loves,
2054
01:36:17,208 --> 01:36:20,541
but only as long as she stays on this...
2055
01:36:20,625 --> 01:36:22,250
patch of ground.
2056
01:36:26,041 --> 01:36:29,166
It's still a lot more
than most people get.
2057
01:36:34,500 --> 01:36:35,708
Let's run it at speed.
2058
01:36:38,208 --> 01:36:39,666
I'm gonna drive you home.
2059
01:36:39,750 --> 01:36:42,250
- Let me take...
- I am the biggest asset
2060
01:36:42,333 --> 01:36:45,375
in the portfolio of
the Columbia Broadcasting System,
2061
01:36:45,458 --> 01:36:51,083
the biggest asset in the portfolio
of Philip Morris tobacco, Westinghouse.
2062
01:36:51,166 --> 01:36:54,833
I get paid a fortune
to do exactly what I love doing.
2063
01:36:54,916 --> 01:36:59,958
I work side by side with my husband,
who is genuinely impressed by me.
2064
01:37:00,041 --> 01:37:04,041
And all I have to do to keep it is kill
every week for 36 weeks in a row,
2065
01:37:04,125 --> 01:37:07,291
and then do it again the next year.
2066
01:37:07,375 --> 01:37:09,833
Kill.
2067
01:37:09,916 --> 01:37:12,625
So let's do it again.
2068
01:37:23,083 --> 01:37:25,333
After RKO dropped Lucy's contract,
2069
01:37:25,416 --> 01:37:28,250
MGM had her in for a Technicolor test,
2070
01:37:28,333 --> 01:37:33,958
which she didn't know yet would be one of
the most important moments in her life.
2071
01:37:34,041 --> 01:37:38,833
A man named Sydney Guilaroff
was Metro's chief hair stylist.
2072
01:37:38,916 --> 01:37:43,833
Looked at Lucy and said, "The hair
is brown but the soul is on fire."
2073
01:37:45,333 --> 01:37:47,000
He dyed her hair a new color.
2074
01:37:47,083 --> 01:37:48,434
Quiet, please.
2075
01:37:50,500 --> 01:37:53,708
It's time for My Favorite Husband,
starring Lucille Ball.
2076
01:37:54,916 --> 01:37:56,916
Jell-O, everybody!
2077
01:38:00,500 --> 01:38:02,500
Yes, it's the gay family series,
2078
01:38:02,583 --> 01:38:04,666
starring Lucille Ball
with Richard Denning,
2079
01:38:04,750 --> 01:38:07,708
transcribed and brought to you
by the Jell-O family of desserts.
2080
01:38:07,791 --> 01:38:10,291
♪ J-E-L-L-Oh! ♪
2081
01:38:10,375 --> 01:38:14,041
♪ The big red letters
stand for the Jell-O family ♪
2082
01:38:14,125 --> 01:38:18,125
♪ Oh, the big red letters stand for
the Jell-O family ♪
2083
01:38:18,208 --> 01:38:19,726
- ♪ That's Jell-O ♪
- ♪ Yum, yum, yum ♪
2084
01:38:19,750 --> 01:38:21,750
- ♪ Jell-O puddings ♪
- ♪ Yum, yum, yum. ♪
2085
01:38:23,208 --> 01:38:25,333
And now, Lucille Ball with Richard Denning
2086
01:38:25,416 --> 01:38:29,291
as Liz and George Cooper,
two people who live together and like it.
2087
01:38:29,375 --> 01:38:31,017
As we look in on the Coopers,
2088
01:38:31,041 --> 01:38:33,559
it's a beautiful spring day
and Liz is just going to the kitchen
2089
01:38:33,583 --> 01:38:35,267
to talk to Katy, the maid.
2090
01:38:35,291 --> 01:38:38,125
- Oh, Katy?
- Yes, Mrs. Cooper?
2091
01:38:38,208 --> 01:38:40,458
Katy, I've got some good news for you.
2092
01:38:40,541 --> 01:38:42,125
- Uh-oh.
- "Uh-oh"?
2093
01:38:42,208 --> 01:38:43,458
What do you mean, "Uh-oh"?
2094
01:38:43,541 --> 01:38:46,625
I say I've got some good news
and you say, "Uh-oh"?
2095
01:38:48,583 --> 01:38:54,000
Every time you say you've got good news,
it's usually good for you and bad for me.
2096
01:38:54,083 --> 01:38:56,916
Oh, well...
2097
01:38:57,000 --> 01:38:59,125
that's a little true.
2098
01:39:04,541 --> 01:39:05,958
Lucy?
2099
01:39:06,041 --> 01:39:07,708
Come on in.
2100
01:39:09,958 --> 01:39:11,625
That was a good show.
2101
01:39:11,708 --> 01:39:12,958
Yeah, I thought so, too.
2102
01:39:13,041 --> 01:39:15,000
Pass it on to Maddie and Bob, would you?
2103
01:39:15,083 --> 01:39:18,000
Mm-hmm. I've, uh, I got two gentlemen
out here who'd like to meet you,
2104
01:39:18,083 --> 01:39:20,416
and you're gonna want to hear
what they have to say.
2105
01:39:20,500 --> 01:39:22,601
Does it need to sound ominous?
Can't they just come in?
2106
01:39:24,166 --> 01:39:25,625
Yeah. Please, come in.
2107
01:39:28,583 --> 01:39:30,708
- Lucille Ball.
- Yes, sir.
2108
01:39:30,791 --> 01:39:33,500
David Levy,
head of comedy development, CBS.
2109
01:39:33,583 --> 01:39:35,142
David Hart,
head of current programming, CBS.
2110
01:39:35,166 --> 01:39:38,125
Well, David and David,
2111
01:39:38,208 --> 01:39:41,250
I've been in a current comedy at CBS
and I've never heard of either of you.
2112
01:39:41,333 --> 01:39:43,166
CBS Television.
2113
01:39:43,250 --> 01:39:45,291
CBS does television?
2114
01:39:45,375 --> 01:39:48,333
- Yeah. Edward R. Murrow is one of our t...
- I was kidding.
2115
01:39:48,416 --> 01:39:49,517
- Understood.
- That was funny.
2116
01:39:49,541 --> 01:39:50,791
Thank you.
2117
01:39:50,875 --> 01:39:53,291
These, uh, these men
have an interesting idea.
2118
01:39:53,375 --> 01:39:55,750
Lucy, we've been here
to the show a few times now.
2119
01:39:55,833 --> 01:39:58,875
We noticed that when you do the show,
you use gestures and expressions.
2120
01:39:58,958 --> 01:40:00,125
You mean the acting?
2121
01:40:00,208 --> 01:40:01,208
Yeah.
2122
01:40:01,291 --> 01:40:04,583
My face, my body, my voice,
that's all I get to work with.
2123
01:40:04,666 --> 01:40:06,750
It's just unusual because it's radio.
2124
01:40:06,833 --> 01:40:07,833
I watched Jack Benny.
2125
01:40:07,916 --> 01:40:10,541
He plays it for the studio audience.
2126
01:40:10,625 --> 01:40:12,208
It works pretty well for him.
2127
01:40:12,291 --> 01:40:13,375
It does.
2128
01:40:13,458 --> 01:40:15,708
And it works pretty well for you, too.
Very well.
2129
01:40:15,791 --> 01:40:18,750
And we think it's a shame
that no one gets to see it.
2130
01:40:18,833 --> 01:40:20,833
Invent a way to see what's on the radio.
2131
01:40:20,916 --> 01:40:23,083
We did. It's television.
2132
01:40:23,166 --> 01:40:25,833
- Are you here to sell me one?
- Lucy.
2133
01:40:25,916 --> 01:40:29,583
They want to put
My Favorite Husband on TV.
2134
01:40:36,708 --> 01:40:38,392
I'm very interested.
2135
01:40:38,416 --> 01:40:39,875
That's great.
2136
01:40:39,958 --> 01:40:42,583
Is it too early to raise a glass?
2137
01:40:42,666 --> 01:40:44,208
To My Favorite Husband.
2138
01:40:44,291 --> 01:40:45,541
Yes.
2139
01:40:45,625 --> 01:40:47,875
Except I don't want to do
My Favorite Husband.
2140
01:40:49,916 --> 01:40:52,958
- I'm confused.
- Yeah, me, too.
2141
01:40:53,041 --> 01:40:54,708
Don't panic. It's simple.
2142
01:40:54,791 --> 01:40:57,708
I'm interested in the idea of doing
My Favorite Husband on television.
2143
01:40:57,791 --> 01:40:59,375
I just want it to be a different show.
2144
01:41:00,750 --> 01:41:03,250
What kind of show do you want it to be?
2145
01:41:03,333 --> 01:41:05,833
One where Desi plays my husband.
2146
01:41:08,416 --> 01:41:11,291
I understand there's a casting issue.
2147
01:41:11,375 --> 01:41:13,875
- Was that to me?
- Yes.
2148
01:41:13,958 --> 01:41:16,041
I wasn't sure. You're quite a ways away.
2149
01:41:16,125 --> 01:41:18,583
Our casting department
has come up with a list
2150
01:41:18,666 --> 01:41:21,333
of very exciting names
that we think you'll like.
2151
01:41:21,416 --> 01:41:23,833
- Pass this down to Lucy.
- These are all very funny men.
2152
01:41:23,916 --> 01:41:25,351
I think we have mimeos for everyone.
2153
01:41:25,375 --> 01:41:27,666
One of the best lists
I've seen in a while.
2154
01:41:27,750 --> 01:41:28,750
Number 12 died last week.
2155
01:41:28,791 --> 01:41:30,416
- That's my fault.
- There's no issue.
2156
01:41:30,500 --> 01:41:32,458
What was that?
2157
01:41:32,541 --> 01:41:34,458
I was answering Mr. Macy.
2158
01:41:34,541 --> 01:41:35,750
There's no casting issue.
2159
01:41:35,833 --> 01:41:39,875
I'm ready and eager to do
a half-hour domestic comedy for CBS,
2160
01:41:39,958 --> 01:41:44,416
if the role of my husband...
let's call him Shmezy... is played by Desi.
2161
01:41:44,500 --> 01:41:46,541
- Can I remark on this?
- Please.
2162
01:41:46,625 --> 01:41:50,541
On My Favorite Husband, your husband
is the fifth vice president of a bank.
2163
01:41:50,625 --> 01:41:52,708
- Yes.
- Can I ask you, in all candor,
2164
01:41:52,791 --> 01:41:56,125
do you see Desi
as the fifth vice president of a bank?
2165
01:41:56,208 --> 01:41:59,000
I can't see him being
the fifth vice president of anything.
2166
01:41:59,083 --> 01:42:00,666
I can see him owning the bank.
2167
01:42:01,625 --> 01:42:02,833
You see the problem?
2168
01:42:02,916 --> 01:42:04,958
I see what you think is the problem.
2169
01:42:05,041 --> 01:42:06,333
- Lucy.
- Yes.
2170
01:42:06,416 --> 01:42:08,875
I don't ordinarily come
to meetings like this.
2171
01:42:08,958 --> 01:42:13,166
This meeting is several floors below
my general interest.
2172
01:42:13,250 --> 01:42:16,958
I'm here to deliver a hard truth.
2173
01:42:17,041 --> 01:42:23,416
We cannot have an all-American girl
married to a man who isn't American.
2174
01:42:23,500 --> 01:42:25,083
He is American.
2175
01:42:25,166 --> 01:42:29,083
He was a sergeant in the U.S. Army
and he served in the war.
2176
01:42:29,166 --> 01:42:31,916
You know exactly what I mean, Lucy.
2177
01:42:32,000 --> 01:42:34,125
- He's Spanish.
- Still no.
2178
01:42:34,208 --> 01:42:35,684
He's never been to Spain in his life.
2179
01:42:35,708 --> 01:42:37,268
He speaks Spanish. He was born in Cuba.
2180
01:42:37,333 --> 01:42:41,500
His father was the mayor of Santiago,
Cuba's second largest city.
2181
01:42:41,583 --> 01:42:43,583
- You know exactly what...
- What you mean? Yes.
2182
01:42:43,666 --> 01:42:44,708
I do.
2183
01:42:44,791 --> 01:42:47,250
Look, I'm not here
to get a job for my nephew.
2184
01:42:47,333 --> 01:42:49,958
Desi Arnaz is a phenomenally talented man.
2185
01:42:50,041 --> 01:42:52,833
Not just a world-class musician,
but a very good actor
2186
01:42:52,916 --> 01:42:56,416
who would be a movie star if there was
such a thing as a Cuban movie star.
2187
01:42:56,500 --> 01:42:59,041
Moreover, we work very well together.
2188
01:42:59,125 --> 01:43:02,500
I go out and meet him when he's touring,
he brings me up for some sketches,
2189
01:43:02,583 --> 01:43:03,833
and it works.
2190
01:43:03,916 --> 01:43:05,166
- Jess?
- Yeah, it works.
2191
01:43:05,250 --> 01:43:08,000
Any cultural differences
will make for good comedy.
2192
01:43:08,083 --> 01:43:09,208
Am I right, Jess?
2193
01:43:09,291 --> 01:43:10,875
You're not wrong.
2194
01:43:10,958 --> 01:43:12,642
Now, I don't want to take
another meeting like this
2195
01:43:12,666 --> 01:43:14,726
'cause I don't know how many more people
will fit around the table.
2196
01:43:14,750 --> 01:43:16,916
My position is not gonna change.
2197
01:43:17,000 --> 01:43:18,416
You want me on television?
2198
01:43:18,500 --> 01:43:21,000
There is only one television show
that I'm willing to do.
2199
01:43:21,083 --> 01:43:23,791
So, what's it gonna be?
2200
01:43:50,541 --> 01:43:51,916
All right, holding. Get Des.
2201
01:44:03,500 --> 01:44:04,958
We think it's about 15 minutes.
2202
01:44:06,041 --> 01:44:07,601
- You think?
- We're holding for something.
2203
01:44:07,625 --> 01:44:10,375
- I'm not sure what.
- Okay, thanks.
2204
01:44:10,458 --> 01:44:11,875
Holding?
2205
01:44:14,333 --> 01:44:16,333
Yeah, come in.
2206
01:44:20,541 --> 01:44:22,875
- Can I have a second?
- Sure.
2207
01:44:27,333 --> 01:44:29,041
I think I know why you want to see me.
2208
01:44:29,125 --> 01:44:31,208
- Do you?
- Hear me out.
2209
01:44:31,291 --> 01:44:32,476
I asked you to do me a favor, Jess.
2210
01:44:32,500 --> 01:44:34,476
- I asked you to give him an E.P. credit.
- Mm-hmm.
2211
01:44:34,500 --> 01:44:38,250
Instead, you tried to convince him he was
the title character or some bullshit.
2212
01:44:38,333 --> 01:44:39,375
What the hell was that?!
2213
01:44:39,458 --> 01:44:40,851
I'm sorry if he was insulted.
2214
01:44:40,875 --> 01:44:42,476
I mean, I know he's insulted,
so I'm sorry.
2215
01:44:42,500 --> 01:44:44,916
He wasn't insulted.
He was laughing about it.
2216
01:44:45,000 --> 01:44:46,541
But, yeah, he's insulted.
2217
01:44:46,625 --> 01:44:48,208
No, he's offended. I'm insulted.
2218
01:44:48,291 --> 01:44:51,458
- I asked you to do me a small favor.
- Yeah.
2219
01:44:51,541 --> 01:44:53,416
And it's not like
you don't owe me a couple.
2220
01:44:55,666 --> 01:44:57,666
It wasn't a small favor.
2221
01:44:57,750 --> 01:44:59,541
And I don't know what you think I owe you.
2222
01:44:59,625 --> 01:45:01,375
- Really?
- It wasn't a small favor.
2223
01:45:01,458 --> 01:45:04,250
- You asked me to save your marriage.
- No, I...
2224
01:45:04,333 --> 01:45:06,392
And-and it's not the first time
you've asked me to do that, is it?
2225
01:45:06,416 --> 01:45:09,208
I asked you to give him
an E.P. credit, that's all.
2226
01:45:09,291 --> 01:45:11,416
Oh, no problem.
Can my wife play Lucy once in a while?
2227
01:45:11,500 --> 01:45:13,250
If your wife played Lucy once in a while,
2228
01:45:13,333 --> 01:45:15,958
I would think it appropriate
she be so credited.
2229
01:45:16,041 --> 01:45:17,642
And what do you mean
it's not the first time
2230
01:45:17,666 --> 01:45:19,625
I asked you to save my marriage?
2231
01:45:19,708 --> 01:45:21,434
"Jess, Jess,
we'll have Desi play my husband.
2232
01:45:21,458 --> 01:45:23,642
- It'll save my marriage."
- Was that supposed to be me?
2233
01:45:23,666 --> 01:45:25,083
- Yeah, yeah.
- Don't do voices.
2234
01:45:25,166 --> 01:45:27,083
Oh, are you insulted? Desi's offended?
2235
01:45:27,166 --> 01:45:29,875
You asked me to give away my job title
like it was a parking spot!
2236
01:45:29,958 --> 01:45:31,208
You're right.
2237
01:45:31,291 --> 01:45:32,708
- I'm sorry!
- Jesus Christ, Lucy!
2238
01:45:32,791 --> 01:45:34,625
Sometimes I think that you...
2239
01:45:37,625 --> 01:45:38,833
Wait, what?
2240
01:45:40,416 --> 01:45:42,125
You're right. I'm sorry.
2241
01:45:42,208 --> 01:45:43,375
I was dead wrong.
2242
01:45:43,458 --> 01:45:45,666
I wasn't expecting that.
2243
01:45:45,750 --> 01:45:47,309
- I know.
- Have you ever said that to me before?
2244
01:45:47,333 --> 01:45:49,250
I doubt it, but...
2245
01:45:49,333 --> 01:45:51,791
I've thought it, if that means anything.
2246
01:45:51,875 --> 01:45:53,708
It does.
2247
01:45:54,708 --> 01:45:57,875
It's just been
a compound fracture of a week.
2248
01:45:59,875 --> 01:46:01,500
Hey.
2249
01:46:01,583 --> 01:46:03,625
- Why are we holding?
- I'm not sure.
2250
01:46:03,708 --> 01:46:05,267
We're holding. Someone has to know why.
2251
01:46:05,291 --> 01:46:07,250
He's-he's coming.
2252
01:46:07,333 --> 01:46:09,625
Come in.
2253
01:46:09,708 --> 01:46:11,458
Desi's asking to see you in his office.
2254
01:46:12,541 --> 01:46:14,642
- You mean in his dressing room?
- No, he's in his office
2255
01:46:14,666 --> 01:46:17,083
with some CBS executives
and some men from Philip Morris.
2256
01:46:19,875 --> 01:46:21,583
Why is he in his office at showtime?
2257
01:46:28,125 --> 01:46:30,875
The evening editions just came out.
2258
01:46:34,833 --> 01:46:36,250
Listen to me.
2259
01:46:36,333 --> 01:46:38,000
Memorize this.
2260
01:46:38,083 --> 01:46:40,041
"It's none of your fucking business."
2261
01:46:44,208 --> 01:46:45,291
There.
2262
01:46:45,375 --> 01:46:47,791
Let that be the best thing I ever wrote.
2263
01:46:54,416 --> 01:46:55,625
Nah.
2264
01:46:55,708 --> 01:46:57,416
It's still "Vitameatavegamin."
2265
01:47:19,125 --> 01:47:20,541
The evening edition.
2266
01:47:25,375 --> 01:47:26,791
It's all right.
2267
01:47:26,875 --> 01:47:28,291
It's all right.
2268
01:47:30,666 --> 01:47:32,500
It's in four-inch type.
2269
01:47:32,583 --> 01:47:34,583
I'm gonna fix this.
2270
01:47:34,666 --> 01:47:36,000
That's Hindenburg type.
2271
01:47:36,083 --> 01:47:38,041
I've already made the calls.
2272
01:47:38,125 --> 01:47:39,916
- And they used red ink.
- Yeah.
2273
01:47:40,000 --> 01:47:42,416
I didn't even know newspapers had red ink.
2274
01:47:42,500 --> 01:47:43,833
I guess they do.
2275
01:47:43,916 --> 01:47:46,208
I was cleared.
2276
01:47:46,291 --> 01:47:49,541
Somehow, the city editor,
a woman named Agness Underwood,
2277
01:47:49,625 --> 01:47:54,375
has a photostatic copy of the affidavit
showing you registered in 1936
2278
01:47:54,458 --> 01:47:56,778
as a voter intending to affiliate
with the Communist Party.
2279
01:47:56,833 --> 01:47:58,000
But I was cleared.
2280
01:47:58,083 --> 01:48:00,101
After the testimony,
they stamped "canceled" on the card,
2281
01:48:00,125 --> 01:48:01,166
and I saw the card.
2282
01:48:01,250 --> 01:48:02,851
Other papers are
showing the canceled card.
2283
01:48:02,875 --> 01:48:05,750
They're running a caption that says,
"Note the cancellation at left."
2284
01:48:05,833 --> 01:48:10,125
But the Herald-Express took the word
"canceled" out of the document altogether.
2285
01:48:10,208 --> 01:48:11,583
Other papers?
2286
01:48:11,666 --> 01:48:14,666
Yes, yes, but I've-I've made calls
and we are taking care of this.
2287
01:48:14,750 --> 01:48:16,791
- We... Eh?
- Calls to who?
2288
01:48:16,875 --> 01:48:18,892
Every reporter within 20 minutes
of this soundstage.
2289
01:48:18,916 --> 01:48:20,000
That's why we're holding.
2290
01:48:20,083 --> 01:48:22,250
- You're saying reporters are coming here?
- Yeah.
2291
01:48:22,333 --> 01:48:24,416
We'll seat them in the back
of the bleachers.
2292
01:48:24,500 --> 01:48:26,541
You think we're still filming a show?
2293
01:48:26,625 --> 01:48:29,000
Why are none of you talking?
2294
01:48:29,083 --> 01:48:30,500
Desi has an idea.
2295
01:48:30,583 --> 01:48:34,833
I'm going to warm up the audience
the way I always do,
2296
01:48:34,916 --> 01:48:38,666
except instead of "Cuban Pete"
and the joke about the turtle,
2297
01:48:38,750 --> 01:48:40,875
I'm going to tell them what happened.
2298
01:48:40,958 --> 01:48:44,291
I'm going to explain
that you checked the wrong box,
2299
01:48:44,375 --> 01:48:47,291
I'm going to show them
the canceled document,
2300
01:48:47,375 --> 01:48:49,750
and then I'm going to bring you out
2301
01:48:49,833 --> 01:48:52,500
so the press sees them
give you a round of applause.
2302
01:48:52,583 --> 01:48:53,666
Yes.
2303
01:48:54,666 --> 01:48:55,875
Hmm?
2304
01:48:57,250 --> 01:48:59,208
Fellas, can we, um...
2305
01:48:59,291 --> 01:49:01,375
have the room for just a moment?
2306
01:49:14,625 --> 01:49:18,541
You're not telling these people
that I checked the wrong box.
2307
01:49:18,625 --> 01:49:20,625
This is a critical moment, Lucy.
2308
01:49:20,708 --> 01:49:22,625
- If I'm gonna die...
- You're not.
2309
01:49:22,708 --> 01:49:24,541
...I would rather die standing up.
2310
01:49:24,625 --> 01:49:25,976
I don't have any idea
what that is suppo...
2311
01:49:26,000 --> 01:49:27,840
I'm not an idiot.
I didn't check the wrong box.
2312
01:49:27,875 --> 01:49:28,875
You saw the headline.
2313
01:49:28,958 --> 01:49:31,833
- You can see the headline from outer space.
- Then please...
2314
01:49:31,916 --> 01:49:34,958
Grandpa Fred raised me
from when I was age four.
2315
01:49:35,041 --> 01:49:38,125
He cared about the little guy.
He cared about workers' rights.
2316
01:49:38,208 --> 01:49:41,000
It was a tribute to him,
and to say that I checked the wrong...
2317
01:49:41,083 --> 01:49:42,458
Grandpa Fred, Grandpa Fred.
2318
01:49:42,541 --> 01:49:45,458
Grandpa Fred was wrong, Lucy!
2319
01:49:45,541 --> 01:49:49,083
Yes, he didn't tell you the part
where they throw your father in prison
2320
01:49:49,166 --> 01:49:51,291
for the crime
of being the mayor of a city.
2321
01:49:51,375 --> 01:49:55,666
I was chased to this country, Lucy!
2322
01:49:55,750 --> 01:49:57,833
Believe me, you checked the wrong box!
2323
01:50:00,791 --> 01:50:02,333
And if they don't applaud?
2324
01:50:03,958 --> 01:50:06,666
They will.
And the press will write that they did.
2325
01:50:09,208 --> 01:50:11,541
You're gonna tell them I was accused of...
2326
01:50:11,625 --> 01:50:14,083
They're going to read it
in the morning anyway.
2327
01:50:14,166 --> 01:50:17,875
We have a sample population
of 200 people on our stage, so...
2328
01:50:17,958 --> 01:50:19,541
Miss Rosen!
2329
01:50:19,625 --> 01:50:21,625
If they boo me?
2330
01:50:23,000 --> 01:50:24,666
If they boo you...
2331
01:50:27,000 --> 01:50:28,958
...then we're done.
2332
01:50:29,041 --> 01:50:31,250
Here, tonight.
2333
01:50:38,750 --> 01:50:40,375
Call this man.
2334
01:50:41,833 --> 01:50:44,583
Tell them it's for me.
2335
01:50:44,666 --> 01:50:46,000
They'll find him.
2336
01:50:46,083 --> 01:50:48,250
He's expecting my call.
2337
01:50:48,333 --> 01:50:49,833
Tell me when you have him.
2338
01:50:49,916 --> 01:50:51,333
Yes, sir.
2339
01:51:09,500 --> 01:51:11,916
Someone said they spotted you
going out here.
2340
01:51:17,666 --> 01:51:18,875
I was just told.
2341
01:51:20,333 --> 01:51:23,333
Jesus, Lulu. Four-inch type?
2342
01:51:23,416 --> 01:51:25,041
Red ink.
2343
01:51:27,916 --> 01:51:29,625
I shouldn't have piled on this week.
2344
01:51:29,708 --> 01:51:31,125
It just...
2345
01:51:32,250 --> 01:51:33,583
What?
2346
01:51:34,583 --> 01:51:36,791
None of that matters right now.
2347
01:51:39,416 --> 01:51:41,166
May be the last time we're out here.
2348
01:51:41,250 --> 01:51:43,041
Say it.
2349
01:51:47,291 --> 01:51:50,666
Lucy Ricardo is married to a man
six years younger than she is,
2350
01:51:50,750 --> 01:51:54,041
and Ethel is married to her grandfather,
and it's understood,
2351
01:51:54,125 --> 01:51:56,958
as the underlying premise
for a running joke,
2352
01:51:57,041 --> 01:51:59,333
that I'm not pretty enough for him.
2353
01:52:02,166 --> 01:52:04,333
It got to me.
2354
01:52:04,416 --> 01:52:06,166
And at the world's worst time.
2355
01:52:13,583 --> 01:52:15,666
That was a knockout dress.
2356
01:52:19,041 --> 01:52:21,416
Oh. You two want to be alone out here?
2357
01:52:21,500 --> 01:52:22,666
- No.
- Yes.
2358
01:52:32,083 --> 01:52:33,708
You're my hero.
2359
01:52:35,666 --> 01:52:37,583
I care about what works, Maddie.
2360
01:52:39,500 --> 01:52:42,125
I care about what's funny.
2361
01:52:42,208 --> 01:52:47,500
I don't see myself caring about a
woman's perspective from a new generation.
2362
01:52:47,583 --> 01:52:49,583
I care about you.
2363
01:52:52,875 --> 01:52:54,666
I'd love for someone
to bring me breakfast.
2364
01:52:54,750 --> 01:52:58,333
That's not what we were talking about.
2365
01:52:58,416 --> 01:53:01,166
Doesn't a P.A.
bring you breakfast every day?
2366
01:53:01,250 --> 01:53:02,916
- Yes.
- Okay.
2367
01:53:03,000 --> 01:53:04,583
Never French toast.
2368
01:53:04,666 --> 01:53:06,958
- We'll look into that.
- I came out here
2369
01:53:07,041 --> 01:53:11,791
to try to distract you with nonsense,
but I assume these two beat me to it.
2370
01:53:11,875 --> 01:53:15,458
Viv doesn't like the jokes
about Ethel being unappealing.
2371
01:53:15,541 --> 01:53:18,625
Yeah, there's no one within the sound
of her voice who doesn't know that.
2372
01:53:18,708 --> 01:53:21,166
I said what I felt.
2373
01:53:21,250 --> 01:53:24,541
You've been saying what you felt
since the first day of work.
2374
01:53:24,625 --> 01:53:27,500
It's not like you've suddenly
given voice to your feelings.
2375
01:53:29,958 --> 01:53:31,166
You know what?
2376
01:53:33,500 --> 01:53:35,208
Sweet ladies?
2377
01:53:38,250 --> 01:53:40,583
Something dies inside a man...
2378
01:53:41,916 --> 01:53:44,958
...it just dies...
2379
01:53:46,083 --> 01:53:49,458
...the first time
he hears a girl call him old.
2380
01:53:53,083 --> 01:53:58,375
So on the subject of
Jess, Bob and Madelyn writing Ethel jokes,
2381
01:53:58,458 --> 01:54:00,166
I'm indifferent.
2382
01:54:00,250 --> 01:54:03,250
You two...
2383
01:54:06,083 --> 01:54:08,208
...are good actors.
2384
01:54:10,958 --> 01:54:12,958
It's a privilege doing this show with you.
2385
01:54:13,041 --> 01:54:14,958
Now you're scaring the shit out of me.
2386
01:54:15,041 --> 01:54:16,125
I was just gonna say.
2387
01:54:16,208 --> 01:54:18,083
Desi's gonna tell the audience.
2388
01:54:18,166 --> 01:54:19,375
He's invited press.
2389
01:54:19,458 --> 01:54:21,791
He's betting that the audience
will accept the truth,
2390
01:54:21,875 --> 01:54:24,291
give their approval,
and the press will write about it.
2391
01:54:30,916 --> 01:54:32,541
I'd take the other side of that bet.
2392
01:54:32,625 --> 01:54:33,684
Excuse me.
2393
01:54:33,708 --> 01:54:35,666
Sorry.
Mr. Arnaz is ready to do the warm-up.
2394
01:54:35,750 --> 01:54:38,250
Uh, they told me you wanted to know.
2395
01:54:38,333 --> 01:54:39,750
Thank you.
2396
01:54:43,291 --> 01:54:45,166
All right.
2397
01:54:47,625 --> 01:54:49,541
See you out there.
2398
01:54:53,166 --> 01:54:55,333
- Good show.
- Good show.
2399
01:54:55,416 --> 01:54:56,666
Good show.
2400
01:55:00,125 --> 01:55:01,458
Luce.
2401
01:55:03,333 --> 01:55:07,125
The dinner scene is inarguably better.
2402
01:55:31,166 --> 01:55:33,875
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
give a warm welcome
2403
01:55:33,958 --> 01:55:36,583
to one of the stars of I Love Lucy.
2404
01:55:36,666 --> 01:55:38,875
You know him as Ricky Ricardo.
2405
01:55:38,958 --> 01:55:41,083
Here's Desi Arnaz!
2406
01:55:43,166 --> 01:55:44,500
Thank you.
2407
01:55:44,583 --> 01:55:45,875
Oh, thank you.
2408
01:55:48,500 --> 01:55:51,416
Thank you. Thank you.
2409
01:55:51,500 --> 01:55:54,000
Thank you very much.
2410
01:55:54,083 --> 01:55:56,833
Usually, right now, I'd be doing
the final audience warm-up.
2411
01:55:56,916 --> 01:55:58,392
I'd tell you an old joke about a turtle.
2412
01:55:58,416 --> 01:56:00,166
And I'd point out
2413
01:56:00,250 --> 01:56:03,250
our groundbreaking camera system
that allows the studio audience
2414
01:56:03,333 --> 01:56:08,375
to watch the show unobstructed
and introduce you to the rest of the cast.
2415
01:56:08,458 --> 01:56:11,958
I'm not doing that tonight,
and here's why.
2416
01:56:12,041 --> 01:56:16,416
Last week, my wife, Lucille Ball,
2417
01:56:16,500 --> 01:56:19,541
was asked to testify
in front of a closed session
2418
01:56:19,625 --> 01:56:23,000
of the House
Un-American Activities Committee.
2419
01:56:24,666 --> 01:56:28,000
Yes, the congressmen
who investigate Communism.
2420
01:56:29,083 --> 01:56:33,916
After hours of testimony,
the committee concluded unambiguously
2421
01:56:34,000 --> 01:56:38,500
that Lucy was and is in no way
involved with the Communist Party.
2422
01:56:38,583 --> 01:56:40,875
So everything's swell, right?
2423
01:56:40,958 --> 01:56:42,791
No.
2424
01:56:42,875 --> 01:56:46,958
Because this is the evening edition
headline in the Herald-Express.
2425
01:57:02,458 --> 01:57:03,833
So...
2426
01:57:03,916 --> 01:57:05,583
I made some phone calls.
2427
01:57:05,666 --> 01:57:07,750
I called the editor of the Herald-Express.
2428
01:57:07,833 --> 01:57:10,291
I called the chairman of the committee.
2429
01:57:10,375 --> 01:57:13,250
I called all the members of the committee.
2430
01:57:13,333 --> 01:57:16,500
And I made one more call to someone,
and I believe he's still on the line.
2431
01:57:16,583 --> 01:57:17,583
Thank you.
2432
01:57:18,958 --> 01:57:20,541
Are you still with me, sir?
2433
01:57:20,625 --> 01:57:22,583
Yes.
2434
01:57:22,666 --> 01:57:26,000
I'm now standing in front of a
studio audience in Hollywood, California,
2435
01:57:26,083 --> 01:57:28,916
and we are joined by
a number of members of the press.
2436
01:57:29,000 --> 01:57:30,041
That's fine.
2437
01:57:32,166 --> 01:57:36,666
We want to know, sir, does the FBI
have any case against Lucy?
2438
01:57:36,750 --> 01:57:41,291
Does the FBI have any evidence
of wrongdoing?
2439
01:57:41,375 --> 01:57:47,500
Does the FBI have any reason to believe
that Lucille Ball is a Communist?
2440
01:57:47,583 --> 01:57:49,541
No. Absolutely nothing.
2441
01:57:49,625 --> 01:57:52,458
She's 100% clear.
2442
01:57:52,541 --> 01:57:53,958
Thank you, sir. One more question.
2443
01:57:54,041 --> 01:57:55,625
Will you tell us your name please?
2444
01:57:55,708 --> 01:57:57,583
This is J. Edgar Hoover.
2445
01:57:57,666 --> 01:57:59,101
Thank you, sir.
2446
01:57:59,125 --> 01:58:00,458
Enjoy your evening.
2447
01:58:07,583 --> 01:58:11,000
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome my wife
2448
01:58:11,083 --> 01:58:13,583
and the star of I Love Lucy, Lucille Ball!
2449
01:58:47,833 --> 01:58:49,833
So enjoy the show!
2450
01:59:07,875 --> 01:59:09,208
It's all over!
2451
01:59:09,291 --> 01:59:10,333
Thank you.
2452
01:59:10,416 --> 01:59:12,166
- It's over now.
- Thank you.
2453
01:59:12,250 --> 01:59:13,333
They love you.
2454
01:59:13,416 --> 01:59:15,583
I love you.
2455
01:59:15,666 --> 01:59:18,583
No one's gonna mess with you ever, Lucy.
2456
01:59:18,666 --> 01:59:20,583
I thought they were gonna boo.
2457
01:59:20,666 --> 01:59:22,541
You want to do a show?
2458
01:59:22,625 --> 01:59:24,125
Have you been cheating on me?
2459
01:59:25,208 --> 01:59:27,583
- What?
- Have you been cheating on me?
2460
01:59:27,666 --> 01:59:29,500
- Is this a bit?
- No.
2461
01:59:30,583 --> 01:59:31,666
No, I haven't been.
2462
01:59:31,750 --> 01:59:34,208
When you stay out all night,
you're on the boat playing cards?
2463
01:59:34,291 --> 01:59:36,083
- Yes.
- You haven't been with anybody else?
2464
01:59:36,166 --> 01:59:38,666
- What's going on with you, honey?
- Don't gaslight me.
2465
01:59:38,750 --> 01:59:39,875
Where did this come from?
2466
01:59:39,958 --> 01:59:41,958
I mean, they just cheered
for you out there.
2467
01:59:42,041 --> 01:59:43,458
They got it right, didn't they?
2468
01:59:43,541 --> 01:59:46,625
- Lucy...
- They only got the picture wrong.
2469
01:59:46,708 --> 01:59:48,666
- Luc...
- Did they get it right?
2470
01:59:48,750 --> 01:59:50,583
- Lucy...
- Did they get it exactly right?
2471
01:59:50,666 --> 01:59:55,041
Jesus Christ, I just proved out there
that the Herald-Express got it wrong.
2472
01:59:55,125 --> 01:59:57,541
You think Confidential magazine...
2473
01:59:57,625 --> 01:59:59,916
Conf... We're about to do a show.
2474
02:00:00,000 --> 02:00:01,517
- Just tell me.
- Tell me why you think...
2475
02:00:01,541 --> 02:00:04,541
other than that garbage...
2476
02:00:04,625 --> 02:00:07,125
tell me why you think I've cheated on you.
2477
02:00:10,541 --> 02:00:13,208
That is your lipstick.
2478
02:00:13,291 --> 02:00:16,125
Remember? You kissed me
at the beginning of the week,
2479
02:00:16,208 --> 02:00:18,458
and then took my handkerchief
and wiped the lipstick off
2480
02:00:18,541 --> 02:00:19,833
and put it back in my pocket.
2481
02:00:19,916 --> 02:00:21,351
And you said you'd never done that before.
2482
02:00:21,375 --> 02:00:22,458
I hadn't.
2483
02:00:22,541 --> 02:00:24,208
Then what the hell are we talking about?
2484
02:00:25,875 --> 02:00:28,166
This is my lipstick.
2485
02:00:43,166 --> 02:00:45,583
They were just call girls.
2486
02:00:45,666 --> 02:00:47,041
Hmm.
2487
02:00:49,583 --> 02:00:50,875
They're hookers.
2488
02:00:57,916 --> 02:01:00,000
It doesn't mean anything, Lucy.
2489
02:01:01,000 --> 02:01:03,208
- Look, Lucy, it doesn't mean...
- Mm.
2490
02:01:03,291 --> 02:01:04,750
Let's do the show. Yeah?
2491
02:01:04,833 --> 02:01:06,559
Let's just forget about this
for a half hour.
2492
02:01:06,583 --> 02:01:07,875
Yeah? Let's do the show.
2493
02:01:07,958 --> 02:01:10,500
Jim, let's go!
2494
02:01:10,583 --> 02:01:13,166
- It's not gonna get better than this.
- Copy that.
2495
02:01:13,250 --> 02:01:15,458
- All right, everybody!
- Let's do a show!
2496
02:01:15,541 --> 02:01:17,461
This is places for scene "A"!
2497
02:01:17,500 --> 02:01:19,226
- Scene "A"!
- Scene "A," places!
2498
02:01:19,250 --> 02:01:21,291
Okay, positions, everyone.
2499
02:01:21,375 --> 02:01:22,875
- Cameras up.
- Cameras up.
2500
02:01:22,958 --> 02:01:24,351
Quiet on set. Bell!
2501
02:01:25,458 --> 02:01:26,791
- Quiet please!
- Quiet please!
2502
02:01:26,875 --> 02:01:28,208
Picture's up!
2503
02:01:28,291 --> 02:01:30,083
- Picture's up.
- Quiet, everyone!
2504
02:01:30,166 --> 02:01:32,166
- Let's roll sound.
- Rolling! - Rolling!
2505
02:01:32,250 --> 02:01:33,541
- Sound speed.
- And mark.
2506
02:01:33,625 --> 02:01:35,541
- Speed mark.
- Dolly.
2507
02:01:35,625 --> 02:01:37,791
Settle. And action.
2508
02:01:38,875 --> 02:01:41,017
It ended up being a good show that night.
2509
02:01:41,041 --> 02:01:43,958
We did both versions of the opening,
2510
02:01:44,041 --> 02:01:46,250
but it was the original version
that made it on the air,
2511
02:01:46,333 --> 02:01:47,541
the one with all the names.
2512
02:01:47,625 --> 02:01:51,000
You must've gotten a copy
of the "B" negative,
2513
02:01:51,083 --> 02:01:52,583
'cause your original question was...
2514
02:01:52,666 --> 02:01:55,500
For the record, I won my bet with Desi.
2515
02:01:55,583 --> 02:01:57,958
CBS wouldn't let us use
the word "pregnant."
2516
02:01:59,541 --> 02:02:01,434
But more people watched
the birth of Little Ricky
2517
02:02:01,458 --> 02:02:04,666
than had ever watched
a television program before.
2518
02:02:05,833 --> 02:02:07,083
Your original question?
2519
02:02:07,166 --> 02:02:10,458
You asked about why Lucy stopped
when we were doing the alt.
2520
02:02:10,541 --> 02:02:11,708
The alternate version.
2521
02:02:11,791 --> 02:02:14,833
We were doing Lucy's version
of Ricky's entrance first.
2522
02:02:14,916 --> 02:02:16,541
She was doing the bit with the flowers,
2523
02:02:16,625 --> 02:02:19,208
which we couldn't use
'cause we were running long.
2524
02:02:27,791 --> 02:02:31,833
She takes a pitcher
and pours water into the vase...
2525
02:02:31,916 --> 02:02:34,625
Which makes all the flowers
come up to the surface.
2526
02:02:44,083 --> 02:02:47,500
It seemed like she just got lost
in her own head for a second.
2527
02:02:47,583 --> 02:02:49,333
I can't remember what her cue was.
2528
02:02:49,416 --> 02:02:52,041
It may have been the only time
she ever went up on a line.
2529
02:02:52,125 --> 02:02:55,083
I can't remember the first line, but we...
2530
02:02:55,166 --> 02:02:56,583
we had to stop and go again.
2531
02:02:56,666 --> 02:02:58,666
It was Desi's line.
2532
02:02:58,750 --> 02:03:00,500
It was the new bit Lucy put in.
2533
02:03:01,708 --> 02:03:03,166
What was his line?
2534
02:03:03,250 --> 02:03:06,750
Lucy, I'm home!
2535
02:03:35,458 --> 02:03:36,666
Sorry.
2536
02:03:36,750 --> 02:03:38,476
I got lost for a second.
2537
02:03:38,500 --> 02:03:39,976
All right, let's cut and go again.
2538
02:03:40,000 --> 02:03:44,291
We never went back to do
another take of the alternate opening.
2539
02:03:44,375 --> 02:03:46,541
Lucy just wanted to move on.
2540
02:04:00,583 --> 02:04:02,708
- Oh!
- Guess who it is.
2541
02:04:02,791 --> 02:04:05,500
Bill? Sam?
2542
02:04:05,583 --> 02:04:07,416
- Pat?
- No.
2543
02:04:07,500 --> 02:04:11,083
Pedro? Pablo?
2544
02:04:11,166 --> 02:04:12,333
Jose?
2545
02:04:12,416 --> 02:04:13,708
No, it's me.
2546
02:04:13,791 --> 02:04:16,291
Ah, yes, of course.
2547
02:04:16,375 --> 02:04:19,166
- Uh...
- Very, very funny.
2548
02:04:19,250 --> 02:04:21,666
Hey, company for dinner?
2549
02:04:21,750 --> 02:04:22,750
Who is it?
2550
02:04:22,833 --> 02:04:24,833
How do you like
the new water glasses, Ricky?
2551
02:04:24,916 --> 02:04:26,458
Who's coming for dinner, Lucy?
2552
02:04:26,541 --> 02:04:29,166
Doesn't the table look beautiful tonight?
2553
02:04:29,250 --> 02:04:32,208
- Lucy, who is it?
- Some people.
2554
02:07:01,958 --> 02:07:04,041
♪ They call me Cuban Pete ♪
2555
02:07:04,125 --> 02:07:06,333
♪ I'm the king of the rumba beat ♪
2556
02:07:06,416 --> 02:07:08,166
♪ When I play the maracas, I go ♪
2557
02:07:08,250 --> 02:07:11,083
♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪
2558
02:07:11,166 --> 02:07:13,250
♪ Yes, sir, I'm Cuban Pete ♪
2559
02:07:13,333 --> 02:07:15,500
♪ I'm the craze of my native street ♪
2560
02:07:15,583 --> 02:07:17,333
♪ When I start to dance, everything goes ♪
2561
02:07:17,416 --> 02:07:20,166
♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪
2562
02:07:20,250 --> 02:07:24,875
♪ The señoritas, they sing
and how they swing with this rumbero ♪
2563
02:07:24,958 --> 02:07:26,916
♪ It's very nice ♪
2564
02:07:27,000 --> 02:07:29,375
♪ So full of spice ♪
2565
02:07:29,458 --> 02:07:30,833
♪ And when they're dancing ♪
2566
02:07:30,916 --> 02:07:33,916
♪ They bring a happy ring, the maraquero ♪
2567
02:07:34,000 --> 02:07:36,333
♪ Singing a song ♪
2568
02:07:36,416 --> 02:07:38,500
♪ All the day long ♪
2569
02:07:38,583 --> 02:07:40,708
♪ So if you like the beat ♪
2570
02:07:40,791 --> 02:07:42,916
♪ Take a lesson from Cuban Pete ♪
2571
02:07:43,000 --> 02:07:44,833
♪ And I'll teach you
to chick chicky boom ♪
2572
02:07:44,916 --> 02:07:47,541
♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪
2573
02:07:47,625 --> 02:07:48,833
♪ Sí, señorita ♪
2574
02:07:48,916 --> 02:07:52,250
♪ I know that you would
like to chicky boom chick ♪
2575
02:07:52,333 --> 02:07:54,458
♪ Because it's the dance ♪
2576
02:07:54,541 --> 02:07:56,666
♪ Of Latin romance ♪
2577
02:07:56,750 --> 02:08:01,375
♪ And Cuban Pete doesn't teach you
in a hurry like Arthur Murray ♪
2578
02:08:01,458 --> 02:08:03,416
♪ I come from Havana ♪
2579
02:08:03,500 --> 02:08:06,041
♪ And there's always mañana ♪
2580
02:08:06,125 --> 02:08:08,166
♪ So, señorita, please ♪
2581
02:08:08,250 --> 02:08:10,416
♪ Take it easy, do it with ease ♪
2582
02:08:10,500 --> 02:08:12,220
♪ And you'll love it
when you do the chick ♪
2583
02:08:12,250 --> 02:08:16,500
♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom. ♪
198234
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