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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:08,757 [bright music] 2 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:11,440 - Hey, slow the fuck down. 3 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,280 You gotta be fucking kidding me. 4 00:00:20,277 --> 00:00:22,397 [phone rings] 5 00:00:22,404 --> 00:00:24,114 ROBOTIC CALLER ID: Call from Mother. 6 00:00:24,114 --> 00:00:27,164 - You gotta be a freaking rocket scientist. 7 00:00:27,159 --> 00:00:28,199 ROBOTIC CALLER ID: Call from Mother. 8 00:00:28,201 --> 00:00:29,701 [phone rings] 9 00:00:29,703 --> 00:00:31,873 Call from Mother. 10 00:00:31,872 --> 00:00:33,332 [phone rings] 11 00:00:33,332 --> 00:00:34,712 - Jeez, how the fuck... 12 00:00:36,084 --> 00:00:38,884 [cell phone vibrates] 13 00:00:38,879 --> 00:00:41,549 Yeah, you were right, Ma. 14 00:00:41,548 --> 00:00:43,718 I should've joined the Boy Scouts. 15 00:00:43,717 --> 00:00:47,547 Maybe then I'd know how to tie a fucking hangman's knot. 16 00:00:47,554 --> 00:00:49,814 [sighs] Christ, I'm hungry. 17 00:00:49,806 --> 00:00:51,136 [knock at door] 18 00:00:59,232 --> 00:01:01,692 Hey, how much? - 13.25. 19 00:01:03,236 --> 00:01:05,356 - I, uh, got a coupon. 20 00:01:05,364 --> 00:01:08,084 - You're supposed to tell us about coupons on the phone. 21 00:01:08,075 --> 00:01:09,785 - Yeah, well, I forgot. 22 00:01:09,785 --> 00:01:11,405 - I feel bad, sir, 23 00:01:11,411 --> 00:01:13,621 but technically, I can't give you the discount. 24 00:01:13,622 --> 00:01:15,502 - Don't sweat it, buddy. 25 00:01:15,499 --> 00:01:16,539 I'll just take it out of your tip. 26 00:01:18,502 --> 00:01:19,802 - Guess I'll make an exception today. 27 00:01:19,795 --> 00:01:21,085 It's 11.25. 28 00:01:21,088 --> 00:01:23,128 - Attaboy. Here's 14. 29 00:01:24,549 --> 00:01:27,179 That's a 24.4% tip. 30 00:01:27,177 --> 00:01:29,297 - Weird you'd know that. 31 00:01:29,304 --> 00:01:32,434 - Wait, hey, hey. This thing is covered in meat. 32 00:01:32,432 --> 00:01:35,982 - Yeah, we load them up. - I ordered mushroom and onion. 33 00:01:35,977 --> 00:01:39,397 - Sure you didn't say bacon and pepperoni by mistake? 34 00:01:39,398 --> 00:01:41,688 - How could anyone possibly say bacon and pepperoni 35 00:01:41,692 --> 00:01:43,192 when they meant mushroom and onion-- 36 00:01:43,193 --> 00:01:44,783 - Sir, in my business, you'd be surprised 37 00:01:44,778 --> 00:01:46,358 at what people say when they order-- 38 00:01:46,363 --> 00:01:48,323 - Kid, they don't sound alike. They don't taste alike. 39 00:01:48,323 --> 00:01:51,163 One is two veggies, the other's two meats. 40 00:01:51,159 --> 00:01:54,199 - Well, if you want me to take it back... 41 00:01:54,204 --> 00:01:57,254 - Then you will? 42 00:01:59,167 --> 00:02:02,087 - Actually, I was planning on you saying it's no big deal. 43 00:02:02,087 --> 00:02:05,967 - Well, it is a big deal. Okay, it's a very big deal, man. 44 00:02:05,966 --> 00:02:08,046 Okay, do you know what red meat does to you? 45 00:02:08,051 --> 00:02:10,891 It clogs your arteries, it fucks with your brain cells, 46 00:02:10,887 --> 00:02:13,267 and it camps out in your colon for, like, ever. 47 00:02:13,265 --> 00:02:14,925 So why would I wanna be tricked into having 48 00:02:14,933 --> 00:02:16,893 a fucking cancer pizza when I could have a healthy one? 49 00:02:21,189 --> 00:02:24,689 Okay, fine, but I'm taking a buck back. 50 00:02:24,693 --> 00:02:28,533 What? That's still a 15.5% tip. 51 00:02:28,530 --> 00:02:30,570 It's not bad considering you were trying to kill me. 52 00:02:30,574 --> 00:02:35,254 SINGERS: ♪ Now, now, now, now, now ♪ 53 00:02:35,245 --> 00:02:37,115 ANNOUNCER: And that's 100 stories that should be 54 00:02:37,122 --> 00:02:39,212 on your radar if they are not already. 55 00:02:39,207 --> 00:02:40,957 Here with their take on all of it-- 56 00:02:40,959 --> 00:02:42,839 [phone rings] 57 00:02:42,836 --> 00:02:44,626 ROBOTIC CALLER ID: Call from Mother. 58 00:02:44,629 --> 00:02:45,549 ANNOUNCER: On a Friday-- 59 00:02:45,547 --> 00:02:46,837 [phone rings] 60 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,340 ROBOTIC CALLER ID: Call from Mother. 61 00:02:54,681 --> 00:02:57,351 - [sighs] Finally. 62 00:03:00,562 --> 00:03:02,692 Fucking idiot. [sighs] 63 00:03:16,286 --> 00:03:19,036 [panting] 64 00:03:23,126 --> 00:03:24,956 Shit! 65 00:03:24,961 --> 00:03:26,761 [gasps] Shit. 66 00:03:32,761 --> 00:03:35,061 [panting] All right. Okay, okay. 67 00:03:38,308 --> 00:03:40,188 [phone rings] 68 00:03:40,185 --> 00:03:42,055 ROBOTIC CALLER ID: Call from Mother. 69 00:03:42,062 --> 00:03:43,732 [phone rings] 70 00:03:43,730 --> 00:03:46,020 Call from Mother. 71 00:03:46,024 --> 00:03:47,864 [phone rings] 72 00:03:47,859 --> 00:03:49,899 Call from Mother. 73 00:03:49,903 --> 00:03:51,613 [phone rings] 74 00:03:51,613 --> 00:03:53,323 Call from Mother. 75 00:03:53,323 --> 00:03:54,373 - [panting] 76 00:03:54,366 --> 00:03:55,986 [phone rings] 77 00:03:55,992 --> 00:03:57,042 [upbeat music] 78 00:03:57,035 --> 00:03:59,785 [gagging] 79 00:04:09,881 --> 00:04:10,631 [creaking] 80 00:04:14,469 --> 00:04:15,599 [gasps] 81 00:04:18,098 --> 00:04:19,848 [groaning] 82 00:04:31,069 --> 00:04:33,819 [coughing] 83 00:04:37,659 --> 00:04:40,659 [screaming] 84 00:04:40,662 --> 00:04:41,912 [thunderclap] 85 00:04:43,456 --> 00:04:46,076 [indistinct chatter] 86 00:04:50,338 --> 00:04:52,048 [PA droning] 87 00:04:55,176 --> 00:04:57,176 - Hey, what's up, man? Can I help you? 88 00:04:57,178 --> 00:04:59,008 - Yeah, I, um--I'm looking for a rope. 89 00:04:59,014 --> 00:05:00,474 - Rope? Rope, awesome. 90 00:05:00,473 --> 00:05:04,023 Right this way. Um, what do you need it for? 91 00:05:04,019 --> 00:05:06,809 - Nothing. I'm just looking for a rope. 92 00:05:06,813 --> 00:05:08,403 - Right, but what do you need it for? 93 00:05:08,398 --> 00:05:09,688 What, are you lifting something? [phone buzzes] 94 00:05:09,691 --> 00:05:11,821 You're towing something? What do you got? 95 00:05:11,818 --> 00:05:13,818 - Towing something, yeah. 96 00:05:13,820 --> 00:05:15,860 - Uh, what? 97 00:05:15,864 --> 00:05:18,124 - What? - Well, what are you towing? 98 00:05:18,116 --> 00:05:19,906 - A boat. 99 00:05:19,910 --> 00:05:21,450 - Boat? Oh, then you don't need a rope. 100 00:05:21,453 --> 00:05:22,333 You need a trailer hitch for your car. 101 00:05:22,329 --> 00:05:23,999 Right this way, man-- 102 00:05:23,997 --> 00:05:26,167 - [stammers] Yeah, no, I'm not towing the boat with a car, so... 103 00:05:26,166 --> 00:05:28,206 - Okay, so what are you towing it with? 104 00:05:30,337 --> 00:05:32,877 - Another boat. - Another boat. 105 00:05:32,881 --> 00:05:35,881 All right, in that case, this is as good as it gets right here. 106 00:05:35,884 --> 00:05:37,434 This is your rope. 107 00:05:37,427 --> 00:05:39,257 - Yeah, no, that's-- that's gonna be too thick. 108 00:05:39,262 --> 00:05:41,352 - Too thick. All right, all right. 109 00:05:41,348 --> 00:05:43,518 Then, uh, runner-up would be right here. 110 00:05:43,516 --> 00:05:44,976 That one's nice and thin. 111 00:05:44,976 --> 00:05:47,646 - Um, you know, that's gonna be a little scratchy. 112 00:05:47,646 --> 00:05:50,646 - Scratchy? Why does that matter for a boat? 113 00:05:50,649 --> 00:05:52,529 - You know what? Maybe--maybe just 10 feet of this one. 114 00:05:52,525 --> 00:05:54,355 This looks pretty good. - 10 feet of this? 115 00:05:54,361 --> 00:05:56,111 I mean, she don't have the tensile strength 116 00:05:56,112 --> 00:05:57,112 to do what you're trying to do, man. 117 00:05:57,113 --> 00:05:58,373 Come on. - This is, it's good. 118 00:05:58,365 --> 00:06:00,775 That's the one I want, so please, just 10 feet. 119 00:06:00,784 --> 00:06:03,084 - Hey, buddy, hey. You come to me for help, right? 120 00:06:03,078 --> 00:06:05,458 I'm the rope guy, all right? I know rope, all right? 121 00:06:05,455 --> 00:06:08,205 And this--this won't pull a bag of balloons across the moon. 122 00:06:08,208 --> 00:06:09,748 All right? What's your payload? 123 00:06:09,751 --> 00:06:12,881 - My what? - How big is your boat, man? 124 00:06:12,879 --> 00:06:14,509 'Cause this thing can get caught in a current, 125 00:06:14,506 --> 00:06:15,466 it can get ripped-- - Okay, man, look. 126 00:06:15,465 --> 00:06:16,875 I'm not--I'm not actually towing anything. 127 00:06:16,883 --> 00:06:18,393 I just need a rope, so please-- 128 00:06:18,385 --> 00:06:19,635 - For what? What do you need it for? 129 00:06:19,636 --> 00:06:22,426 - It's personal, okay? It's... 130 00:06:24,599 --> 00:06:27,599 - Oh, okay. All right, yeah. 131 00:06:27,602 --> 00:06:28,652 All right, in that case... 132 00:06:31,106 --> 00:06:33,606 You need one of these, all right? 133 00:06:33,608 --> 00:06:35,528 You know, especially if you're gonna, you know, freeze it. 134 00:06:37,570 --> 00:06:39,320 - [stammers] To freeze it? 135 00:06:39,322 --> 00:06:41,872 - Yeah, you know, freeze it, you know, for "tug-of-war." 136 00:06:41,866 --> 00:06:44,036 - Why--why did you just do that in quotes? 137 00:06:44,035 --> 00:06:45,365 - Oh, come on, man. 138 00:06:45,370 --> 00:06:46,910 You know what tug-of-war is, man. 139 00:06:46,913 --> 00:06:49,333 You're gonna play dumb with me? 140 00:06:49,332 --> 00:06:52,132 You know, when you get the rope, you dip it in the water, right? 141 00:06:52,127 --> 00:06:53,917 You and your friend, you put it in the freezer, 142 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,210 you take it out, you shove it up each other's ass. 143 00:06:55,213 --> 00:06:57,053 All right, you know? [muttering] 144 00:06:57,048 --> 00:06:58,718 Some people call it the cowboy popsicle. 145 00:06:58,717 --> 00:07:00,467 I mean, depending on where you're from, I don't know. 146 00:07:00,468 --> 00:07:02,048 But hey, feel this. Feel this. 147 00:07:02,053 --> 00:07:03,103 This is what you're looking for, man. 148 00:07:03,096 --> 00:07:04,676 Look at the ridges. Come on, see the ridges? 149 00:07:04,681 --> 00:07:07,061 Yeah, it's really hard going in, 150 00:07:07,058 --> 00:07:09,308 but real soft like a kitten coming out. 151 00:07:09,310 --> 00:07:10,190 Or so I've heard. I don't know. 152 00:07:12,022 --> 00:07:13,482 - I'll take it. 153 00:07:13,481 --> 00:07:16,191 [panting] 154 00:07:16,192 --> 00:07:18,152 Now that's what I'm fucking talking about! 155 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,990 [phone buzzing] 156 00:07:27,370 --> 00:07:28,460 [whispers] Jesus Christ. 157 00:07:30,874 --> 00:07:31,624 [exhales] 158 00:07:43,595 --> 00:07:46,305 [phone buzzing] 159 00:07:48,767 --> 00:07:50,267 Yeah, Ma, what do you want? 160 00:07:50,268 --> 00:07:51,898 I'm kind of in the middle of something. 161 00:07:51,895 --> 00:07:52,895 ED'S MOTHER: [sobbing] Your brother is dead. 162 00:07:52,896 --> 00:07:54,356 - What? 163 00:07:54,355 --> 00:07:58,605 - Jeffrey's dead. He just killed himself. 164 00:07:58,610 --> 00:07:59,820 [crying] 165 00:07:59,819 --> 00:08:00,859 - Motherfuck-- 166 00:08:00,862 --> 00:08:04,782 [gagging] 167 00:08:04,783 --> 00:08:07,703 - It's okay, we're gonna stick together, okay? 168 00:08:07,702 --> 00:08:10,122 - [gagging] 169 00:08:11,956 --> 00:08:13,746 ED'S MOTHER: I know. 170 00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:15,340 I can't believe it. 171 00:08:15,335 --> 00:08:18,205 - [shouts] ED'S MOTHER: Oh, my... 172 00:08:18,213 --> 00:08:20,423 - [gagging] [Ed's mother sobbing] 173 00:08:22,842 --> 00:08:24,392 ED'S MOTHER: He's gone. 174 00:08:24,385 --> 00:08:26,425 - [grunting and strained shouting] 175 00:08:28,223 --> 00:08:29,393 ED'S MOTHER: [crying] Jeffrey is gone. 176 00:08:29,390 --> 00:08:31,560 - [panting] 177 00:08:31,559 --> 00:08:33,479 - It's okay, honey. 178 00:08:33,478 --> 00:08:35,728 You just--you just let it all out, honey. 179 00:08:35,730 --> 00:08:36,610 You just let it out. 180 00:08:36,660 --> 00:08:41,210 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 12851

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