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1
00:00:02,281 --> 00:00:03,250
Get the stew right up
2
00:00:03,283 --> 00:00:05,087
‐under her nose.
Okay. Okay.
3
00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:06,422
And let if waft up in..
4
00:00:06,456 --> 00:00:07,526
She keeps moving..
5
00:00:07,559 --> 00:00:08,460
and her hair keeps getting
in the stew.
6
00:00:08,494 --> 00:00:10,364
Guys, hey, guys, guys.
7
00:00:10,397 --> 00:00:11,232
You can stop.
8
00:00:11,266 --> 00:00:13,504
Stew has never
woken anyone up, ever.
9
00:00:13,538 --> 00:00:14,673
Here, give me‐give me stew.
10
00:00:14,706 --> 00:00:16,476
‐I'll eat it.
All right, fine.
11
00:00:16,510 --> 00:00:17,679
But I feel like the stew...
No, see?
12
00:00:17,712 --> 00:00:19,382
It's... Oh, it worked!
Here she comes!
13
00:00:19,415 --> 00:00:20,718
‐Oh!
‐Hey, Dee!
14
00:00:20,752 --> 00:00:23,223
‐Don't worry, Dee...
‐Hi, Dee. Was it the stew
that woke you up?
15
00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:24,325
Ow. What happened?
16
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,260
Oh, don't worry.
17
00:00:25,294 --> 00:00:27,566
We're, uh, safe and sound
in Patty's Pub.
18
00:00:27,599 --> 00:00:29,570
What? We're back home?
19
00:00:29,603 --> 00:00:30,605
‐Oh, no, no, no.
‐No.
20
00:00:30,638 --> 00:00:32,576
‐It's, uh "Patty's" with a T.
Yeah.
21
00:00:32,609 --> 00:00:34,412
‐P‐A‐T‐T‐Y.
‐What is going on?
22
00:00:34,445 --> 00:00:36,482
What‐what time is it?
What day is it?
23
00:00:36,517 --> 00:00:37,552
Wait, did I miss the thing?
24
00:00:37,586 --> 00:00:39,623
‐What thing? Oh, the show?
‐Uh, the acting thing?
25
00:00:39,656 --> 00:00:40,725
‐Oh, yeah, you missed it.
‐Oh, oh, no.
26
00:00:40,758 --> 00:00:42,562
‐No.
‐Did you still want to do that?
27
00:00:42,596 --> 00:00:44,499
‐You still want to do...
That's not gonna happen.
‐Oh, no!
28
00:00:44,533 --> 00:00:45,501
Oh, goddamn you.
29
00:00:45,535 --> 00:00:47,471
You're not gonna be able to walk
back to the city
30
00:00:47,505 --> 00:00:48,541
'cause we're way out in the...
31
00:00:52,582 --> 00:00:55,320
What? No!
32
00:00:55,354 --> 00:00:59,362
Oh, goddamn it!
33
00:01:03,303 --> 00:01:04,272
♪ Hey! ♪
34
00:01:04,305 --> 00:01:06,342
♪ ♪
35
00:01:25,782 --> 00:01:27,819
I cannot believe you guys
did this to me.
36
00:01:27,852 --> 00:01:30,491
Dee, can you please be grateful
about this experience?
37
00:01:30,525 --> 00:01:32,629
I mean, take it in, will you?
Uh, here we are.
38
00:01:32,662 --> 00:01:34,566
We're‐we're in
this charming little pub.
39
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,237
You can smell fresh peat grass
burning in the fireplace.
40
00:01:37,271 --> 00:01:38,608
You know, well,
along with the, uh,
41
00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:39,743
the evidence of Frank's
involvement
42
00:01:39,776 --> 00:01:41,880
‐in a sex trafficking ring.
‐Alleged.
43
00:01:41,914 --> 00:01:43,751
Yeah, Dee, look,
you got to embrace this.
44
00:01:43,784 --> 00:01:45,487
You know?
All you're doing is complaining.
45
00:01:45,521 --> 00:01:48,226
This place is amazing.
46
00:01:48,259 --> 00:01:49,295
With the exception
of all the sheep wool.
47
00:01:49,328 --> 00:01:50,832
Is that bothering anybody else?
48
00:01:50,865 --> 00:01:52,736
No, because we don't have COVID
like you do.
49
00:01:52,769 --> 00:01:54,840
‐You're sick.
‐No, I don't have COVID.
50
00:01:54,873 --> 00:01:56,309
Even the beer here sucks.
51
00:01:56,342 --> 00:01:57,378
Will you look at this?
It's all foam.
52
00:01:57,411 --> 00:01:59,382
What are you doing?
53
00:01:59,415 --> 00:02:01,587
Oh. Sorry.
54
00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:02,722
We‐we run our own bar,
55
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:04,693
‐so I forget and sometimes
I serve myself.
‐Huh.
56
00:02:04,726 --> 00:02:05,995
‐I'm just gonna squeak by you.
‐Hmm.
57
00:02:06,029 --> 00:02:08,366
Actually, while I got you here,
pal, can I ask you a question?
58
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,137
Do you know a fella
in this town,
59
00:02:10,170 --> 00:02:11,740
goes by the name
of Shelley Kelly?
60
00:02:11,774 --> 00:02:12,842
Yeah, everybody knows him.
61
00:02:12,876 --> 00:02:15,414
He's the, uh, local,
uh, cheesemonger.
62
00:02:15,447 --> 00:02:16,684
Oh...
63
00:02:16,717 --> 00:02:19,288
H‐He's the, uh...
cheese mongrel. Wow.
64
00:02:19,322 --> 00:02:20,692
I did not know he was a mongrel.
65
00:02:20,725 --> 00:02:21,760
Um, how severe is it?
66
00:02:21,794 --> 00:02:23,931
Can‐can he walk?
Does he drool, or...
67
00:02:23,964 --> 00:02:26,603
‐Monger, Charlie. Cheesemonger.
Cheesemonger.
68
00:02:26,637 --> 00:02:28,406
Mon... Cheese...
Why are you saying it that way?
69
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,611
Is he a mongrel or a monster?
That's all I want to know.
70
00:02:30,645 --> 00:02:32,682
‐I wonder if he's cute.
‐Who?
71
00:02:32,716 --> 00:02:33,884
Your brother,
the cheese monster.
72
00:02:33,918 --> 00:02:35,621
Do not have sex
with my brother, Mac.
73
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,592
You know,
when I was Irish first,
74
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,830
then I‐then I wanted to
find out what my heritage was.
75
00:02:39,863 --> 00:02:42,702
But now that I'm gay first,
and that's my identity,
76
00:02:42,736 --> 00:02:44,906
then maybe I should just
be plowing a bunch of dudes,
77
00:02:44,940 --> 00:02:47,211
‐and‐and maybe a bunch of
cheese monsters. I don't know.
‐Aw, come on, man.
78
00:02:47,244 --> 00:02:48,881
‐Stop! Would you just...
‐There's gay or badass.
Let it go, Mac!
79
00:02:48,914 --> 00:02:51,252
You need to shut up, okay?
80
00:02:51,285 --> 00:02:52,421
Identity doesn't have to factor
81
00:02:52,454 --> 00:02:54,626
into absolutely
every decision you make.
82
00:02:54,659 --> 00:02:56,429
All right? If a man wants
to stand, he doesn't go,
83
00:02:56,462 --> 00:02:57,732
"Uh, uh, what would
a Dutchman do?
84
00:02:57,766 --> 00:02:59,569
Would a Dutchman stand?" Okay?
85
00:02:59,603 --> 00:03:01,607
And if‐if an Italian wants
to eat a sandwich,
86
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,443
he doesn't go, "I have to eat
plates of spaghetti
87
00:03:03,476 --> 00:03:04,278
because I'm an Italian."
88
00:03:04,311 --> 00:03:06,817
He just eats
the goddamn sandwich.
89
00:03:06,850 --> 00:03:08,486
Okay? Oh, you fool.
90
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:10,792
If you want to go out and bang
every single guy in Ireland,
91
00:03:10,825 --> 00:03:12,327
just go bang every guy
in Ireland
92
00:03:12,361 --> 00:03:14,331
and forget what your identity
has to do with it.
93
00:03:14,365 --> 00:03:15,902
Or you could just find one guy,
94
00:03:15,935 --> 00:03:17,438
fall in love,
get in a relationship
95
00:03:17,471 --> 00:03:18,373
and shut the hell up about it.
96
00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:20,444
‐Please stop doing that.
‐Oh, come on, man!
97
00:03:20,477 --> 00:03:23,551
If I got to stop mid‐rant every
time I want to order a beer,
98
00:03:23,584 --> 00:03:25,353
i‐it's gonna interrupt my flow.
99
00:03:25,387 --> 00:03:27,458
Right? Why don't you just keep
track of what we're drinking
100
00:03:27,492 --> 00:03:29,228
and charge it to
our individual rooms.
101
00:03:29,261 --> 00:03:30,732
Oh, there's only one room.
102
00:03:30,765 --> 00:03:31,600
‐Hmm?
Yeah.
103
00:03:31,633 --> 00:03:33,938
One room? Wha...
How's that gonna work?
104
00:03:33,971 --> 00:03:35,875
‐Nah, that's good.
‐That's good?
105
00:03:35,908 --> 00:03:37,612
All of us crammed in
one wool‐infested room‐‐
106
00:03:37,645 --> 00:03:38,581
that sounds good to you?
107
00:03:38,614 --> 00:03:40,918
You want an authentic
European experience.
108
00:03:40,952 --> 00:03:42,254
‐That's what it is.
‐Well, no, that...
109
00:03:42,287 --> 00:03:43,189
That's too authentic, okay?
110
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,260
I'm not‐I'm not...
I'm not staying here.
111
00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:46,497
I'm gonna rent a castle.
112
00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:48,601
‐
‐Well, wait for me.
I'm not staying, either.
113
00:03:48,634 --> 00:03:50,638
I'll tell you what, I'm not
paying for this beer, okay?
114
00:03:50,671 --> 00:03:52,876
'Cause you can barely swallow
this sludge.
115
00:03:56,048 --> 00:03:58,988
♪ ♪
116
00:04:03,329 --> 00:04:05,535
‐
‐Oh, oh, Dennis, hey.
117
00:04:05,568 --> 00:04:07,438
You should let me do
the talking in there, okay?
118
00:04:07,471 --> 00:04:09,442
‐ Why?
‐Why?
119
00:04:09,475 --> 00:04:10,545
'Cause if you cough in there,
they're not gonna rent us
120
00:04:10,578 --> 00:04:12,582
the castle 'cause they're
gonna know you have COVID.
121
00:04:12,615 --> 00:04:14,452
Dee, you bitch.
I don't have COVID.
122
00:04:14,485 --> 00:04:16,389
Okay? I'm not gonna
cough in there.
123
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,460
You‐you think I can't
pinch off a cough?
124
00:04:18,494 --> 00:04:19,963
I will do the talking.
125
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:26,309
Oh.
Hi there.
126
00:04:26,342 --> 00:04:27,979
‐
‐Beautiful day, isn't it? Huh?
127
00:04:28,012 --> 00:04:29,148
G‐Grand, as you say.
128
00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:32,454
I think what they say
is, "Top o' the mornin'."
129
00:04:32,488 --> 00:04:33,591
Ah, that's a stereotype. Yeah.
130
00:04:33,624 --> 00:04:36,630
Excuse my sister, she's, uh,
not very good at talking.
131
00:04:36,663 --> 00:04:40,872
Um, so we're actually here
looking f...
132
00:04:42,374 --> 00:04:44,078
‐
‐Uh‐oh.
133
00:04:44,111 --> 00:04:45,480
Oh, gosh.
134
00:04:45,515 --> 00:04:47,084
You okay there, Dennis?
135
00:04:49,088 --> 00:04:51,292
‐Uh, ah...
‐
136
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:52,495
Huh. Looks like I'll be doing
the talking.
137
00:04:52,529 --> 00:04:55,400
‐No.
‐Uh, we would be looking
for a castle,
138
00:04:55,433 --> 00:04:57,739
and we are very interested
in modern amenities, please.
139
00:04:57,772 --> 00:05:01,379
You know, your thermostats and
your remotes and shit like that.
140
00:05:01,412 --> 00:05:03,383
Ar‐Are you jotting
any of this down?
141
00:05:03,416 --> 00:05:05,420
‐
‐Yeah, yeah, right. So... Sorry.
142
00:05:05,453 --> 00:05:07,090
You caught me
a little off guard, is all.
143
00:05:07,124 --> 00:05:08,561
So, you're‐you're looking
for a castle?
144
00:05:08,594 --> 00:05:10,631
‐
‐Mm. Mm‐hmm.
145
00:05:10,665 --> 00:05:13,002
‐
‐Is he all right?
146
00:05:13,036 --> 00:05:15,340
Mm‐hmm. Mm‐hmm.
147
00:05:15,373 --> 00:05:16,442
Yeah, he's okay.
148
00:05:16,475 --> 00:05:18,647
Well, yes and no.
149
00:05:18,681 --> 00:05:22,020
‐You know what it is?
He's a mongrel.
‐
150
00:05:22,054 --> 00:05:23,489
:
No.
151
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:24,693
And that's why I've always
been the talker.
152
00:05:24,726 --> 00:05:26,530
‐: Bitch. Bitch.
‐Oh, boy, did you head that?
153
00:05:26,563 --> 00:05:28,601
‐Yep, here‐here he goes.
Here he goes.
‐
154
00:05:28,634 --> 00:05:30,805
We have to keep him
in the basement in America,
155
00:05:30,838 --> 00:05:35,447
'cause one of his ticks is that
he brutally masturbates himself.
156
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,484
‐: No, no.
‐Oh, yeah.
157
00:05:37,519 --> 00:05:39,523
‐Yeah, he‐he does
a real number on it.
‐
158
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:41,459
Yeah.
He‐he's shredded it down
159
00:05:41,493 --> 00:05:43,497
‐to a little tiny nub
at this point.
‐No!
160
00:05:43,531 --> 00:05:44,465
Is what it is.
No, no. He's saying,
161
00:05:44,499 --> 00:05:46,770
"Down there,
there's barely anything left."
162
00:05:46,803 --> 00:05:48,574
‐: Damn it!
‐That's what he's saying.
163
00:05:48,607 --> 00:05:50,110
There's nothing left down there.
164
00:05:50,143 --> 00:05:52,481
‐
‐Yeah, so, um,
165
00:05:52,515 --> 00:05:54,953
I don't see you doing
a lot of castle searching.
166
00:06:04,506 --> 00:06:05,608
: Bitch.
167
00:06:05,641 --> 00:06:08,112
He's also allergic to sheep.
168
00:06:08,146 --> 00:06:10,083
♪ ♪
169
00:06:13,557 --> 00:06:15,528
Go on, go on, out.
170
00:06:15,561 --> 00:06:18,500
Get out, you bastards!
171
00:06:18,534 --> 00:06:20,638
‐Out.
‐Hello, sir?
172
00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:23,443
Oh, sorry.
I was, uh...
173
00:06:23,476 --> 00:06:24,813
Just bashing some rats.
174
00:06:24,846 --> 00:06:26,683
I get it. It's cool.
Don't worry about it.
175
00:06:26,717 --> 00:06:29,054
I bash a lot of rats
in my business, too.
176
00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:30,223
And‐and rats love cheese,
177
00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:31,359
‐so I imagine y‐you get
a lot of 'em here.
‐
178
00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:34,031
‐This is, like,
the place for rats.
‐Yeah, yeah.
179
00:06:34,064 --> 00:06:35,467
Well, how can I help you?
180
00:06:35,501 --> 00:06:37,639
Uh, right, well,
uh, I'm looking for, uh,
181
00:06:37,672 --> 00:06:40,176
a young man named Shelley Kelly.
Is he around?
182
00:06:40,210 --> 00:06:43,149
I'm Shelley Kelly.
Who's asking?
183
00:06:43,182 --> 00:06:45,120
Oh. I'm sorry. I...
184
00:06:45,153 --> 00:06:46,657
I'm looking for a‐a younger man.
185
00:06:46,690 --> 00:06:48,059
Uh, I'm looking for
the young Shelley Kelly.
186
00:06:48,092 --> 00:06:49,629
Is he around?
187
00:06:50,631 --> 00:06:52,467
Hey, do you‐you mind if I sample
some of your jellies?
188
00:06:52,502 --> 00:06:54,572
‐Oh, no. Go on. Help yourself.
‐Ah.
189
00:06:54,606 --> 00:06:56,576
‐
‐Delightful.
190
00:06:56,610 --> 00:06:57,745
Well, I'm...
191
00:06:57,779 --> 00:07:01,152
I'm the only Shelley Kelly
around here that I know of.
192
00:07:01,185 --> 00:07:03,156
‐Uh...
Ooh.
193
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:05,728
This is the tits right here.
194
00:07:05,761 --> 00:07:07,765
‐
‐Yeah, no, that...
that doesn't make sense.
195
00:07:07,799 --> 00:07:10,605
See‐see, Shelley Kelly
is a‐is a kid like me.
196
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,040
Uh, we're pen pals.
197
00:07:12,074 --> 00:07:15,146
Sweet Jesus.
198
00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:16,215
Charlie?
199
00:07:16,248 --> 00:07:18,486
Ugh. That's a miss.
200
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:19,689
It's got something in it
like sand.
201
00:07:19,723 --> 00:07:22,227
It's full of sand.
Ech.
202
00:07:22,260 --> 00:07:23,631
Yeah, I... I'm Charlie.
203
00:07:23,664 --> 00:07:25,166
Mmm. I know what it is.
204
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:26,202
It's seeds.
205
00:07:26,235 --> 00:07:27,538
Is there seeds in it?
206
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,074
And there's too many of 'em.
207
00:07:29,709 --> 00:07:31,980
There's a lot of seeds.
208
00:08:03,309 --> 00:08:05,614
It was a bad one.
209
00:08:05,648 --> 00:08:06,783
That's buried in there.
210
00:08:06,817 --> 00:08:09,923
That's gonna be in there
all week. Oh, God.
211
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,094
What'd I miss?
212
00:08:16,168 --> 00:08:18,974
‐(orga
213
00:08:19,008 --> 00:08:21,680
Oh, Father, Father, Father,
I've got news.
214
00:08:21,713 --> 00:08:23,016
I've got wonderful news.
215
00:08:23,049 --> 00:08:26,690
Okay, so, I used to be Irish,
216
00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:27,892
and now I'm Dutch.
217
00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:29,829
Of course, I was badass
the entire time,
218
00:08:29,863 --> 00:08:30,965
but when you surround yourself
219
00:08:30,998 --> 00:08:32,835
with people who aren't
as badass as you,
220
00:08:32,869 --> 00:08:34,104
that tends to be
quite isolating.
221
00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:37,144
The point is I was confused.
222
00:08:37,177 --> 00:08:39,281
To be honest with you, I wanted
to run through a bunch of pipe,
223
00:08:39,314 --> 00:08:41,853
if you know what I mean...
Well, you know what I mean.
224
00:08:41,887 --> 00:08:44,024
But then I decided,
you know what?
225
00:08:44,058 --> 00:08:46,963
I only want
one man inside of me.
226
00:08:46,997 --> 00:08:49,101
The Big Man.
The Big Man upstairs.
227
00:08:49,134 --> 00:08:51,540
The only man
that can fill me up.
228
00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:54,011
Well, and his son.
And the Holy Spirit.
229
00:08:54,044 --> 00:08:55,781
I'll take all three of them
at once.
230
00:08:55,815 --> 00:08:56,983
I've done that before.
231
00:08:57,017 --> 00:08:59,121
That was more in a physical
sense, not a spiritual one.
232
00:08:59,154 --> 00:09:01,860
And believe me, it was messy.
233
00:09:01,893 --> 00:09:03,196
Totally worth it, though.
I loved it.
234
00:09:03,229 --> 00:09:06,035
Either way, Father,
what I have decided is that
235
00:09:06,068 --> 00:09:09,007
the most important aspect
of my identity‐‐
236
00:09:09,041 --> 00:09:10,009
it's not being gay.
237
00:09:10,043 --> 00:09:12,882
It's not being Irish.
It's not being badass.
238
00:09:12,915 --> 00:09:14,886
It's being Catholic.
239
00:09:14,919 --> 00:09:17,057
Therefore, I want to become
240
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,629
a Catholic priest!
241
00:09:20,029 --> 00:09:24,271
‐Well, that's nice to hear.
‐
242
00:09:24,304 --> 00:09:28,614
But perhaps we could talk
at a more appropriate time.
243
00:09:31,653 --> 00:09:32,889
Oh.
244
00:09:32,922 --> 00:09:34,224
Uh... Yeah. Sorry.
Sorry, everybody.
245
00:09:34,258 --> 00:09:35,961
I'll just get
in the back of the line,
246
00:09:35,995 --> 00:09:37,030
and then, uh, get the cracker,
247
00:09:37,063 --> 00:09:38,767
and then we'll talk later.
248
00:09:38,801 --> 00:09:39,903
Okay.
249
00:09:41,940 --> 00:09:44,913
Oh, goddamn it,
what the hell is this?
250
00:09:44,946 --> 00:09:46,917
That realtor screwed us.
251
00:09:46,950 --> 00:09:48,152
Probably because
you caused a scene.
252
00:09:48,186 --> 00:09:51,258
What are you talking about, Dee?
This‐this place is amazing.
253
00:09:51,292 --> 00:09:53,029
I mean, I saw
an old bell tower outside
254
00:09:53,062 --> 00:09:54,899
and what I think
used to be a moat.
255
00:09:54,933 --> 00:09:56,102
Okay, this place is perfect.
256
00:09:56,135 --> 00:09:58,039
‐
‐This place is not perfect.
257
00:09:58,072 --> 00:09:59,308
It's a ruin.
We can't sleep here.
258
00:09:59,341 --> 00:10:02,080
Wh... Dee, I'm sure
there's, like, a furnished area
259
00:10:02,114 --> 00:10:04,919
with, like, bedrooms and shit
somewhere. I mean, what, do you,
260
00:10:04,953 --> 00:10:05,788
what, do you want
to walk into a castle...
261
00:10:05,821 --> 00:10:07,224
and have it feel like a Hyatt?
262
00:10:07,257 --> 00:10:09,094
I mean, where's the charm
in that?
263
00:10:09,128 --> 00:10:11,967
Whoa.
This place has a dark past.
264
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,204
Murder, betrayal, beheadings.
265
00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:16,242
Well, you know,
it's a castle, Dee.
266
00:10:16,275 --> 00:10:18,346
You know, people were going
crazy in castles all the time.
267
00:10:18,379 --> 00:10:20,283
And beheading people‐‐
well, that‐that was just
268
00:10:20,316 --> 00:10:23,089
their way of solving problems
back then, you know.
269
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:24,926
: That's tenth century
charm for you.
270
00:10:24,959 --> 00:10:26,061
‐
‐Yeah.
271
00:10:26,095 --> 00:10:28,232
Yeah, this was in 2008.
272
00:10:28,266 --> 00:10:30,938
‐ Two... What?
‐Yeah. A mother
273
00:10:30,971 --> 00:10:33,242
went insane and beheaded
all four children.
274
00:10:33,276 --> 00:10:36,215
‐Just chopped their heads
right off.
‐Well, that‐that is...
275
00:10:36,248 --> 00:10:38,219
‐that's decidedly
less charming, isn't it?
‐It's a little less charming.
276
00:10:38,252 --> 00:10:40,223
I'm not sleeping here, Dennis.
It's very creepy.
277
00:10:40,256 --> 00:10:42,027
No, Dee. This is gonna be great.
Trust me.
278
00:10:42,060 --> 00:10:43,095
This is gon‐this is gonna
be awesome, okay?
279
00:10:43,129 --> 00:10:43,964
Just...
280
00:10:43,997 --> 00:10:45,968
I don't care for
all the sheep, though.
281
00:10:46,001 --> 00:10:47,037
That's‐that's my only thing.
282
00:10:47,070 --> 00:10:48,072
All... all what sheep?
283
00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:50,410
‐We haven't seen a sheep.
‐The sheep, the sheep.
284
00:10:50,443 --> 00:10:52,280
I‐I'm sure they've been
passing through, and that's...
285
00:10:52,314 --> 00:10:54,017
Thr... They've been passing
through the... into the castle?
286
00:10:54,051 --> 00:10:55,988
Well, why else would
I be coughing and wheezing?
287
00:10:56,021 --> 00:10:57,892
You have COVID.
288
00:10:57,925 --> 00:10:59,228
To Charlie, my son.
289
00:10:59,261 --> 00:11:02,735
To the dad I didn't know I had.
290
00:11:04,939 --> 00:11:05,908
Well, I'm just sorry that
291
00:11:05,941 --> 00:11:08,780
I didn't get a chance
to see you growing up.
292
00:11:08,814 --> 00:11:09,849
‐Yeah.
‐Mm‐hmm.
293
00:11:09,883 --> 00:11:11,051
And for what it's worth,
294
00:11:11,085 --> 00:11:12,989
I did love your mother.
295
00:11:13,022 --> 00:11:14,424
So did I.
296
00:11:14,959 --> 00:11:15,995
We all did.
297
00:11:16,028 --> 00:11:17,063
A wonderful woman.
298
00:11:17,097 --> 00:11:18,199
I banged her, too.
299
00:11:18,232 --> 00:11:20,905
All right, well, Mom got around.
300
00:11:20,938 --> 00:11:22,173
:
Well, yeah.
301
00:11:22,207 --> 00:11:24,177
Hey, this is jammed in there.
302
00:11:24,211 --> 00:11:26,181
What do you call it?
What is that?
303
00:11:26,215 --> 00:11:27,117
A lingonberry seed or something?
304
00:11:27,150 --> 00:11:29,187
The important thing
is you're here now.
305
00:11:29,221 --> 00:11:31,225
‐Yeah. Yeah.
‐Yeah. And I don't want to waste
any more time.
306
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:33,062
No, neither do I.
I mean, God, I've...
307
00:11:33,095 --> 00:11:35,133
I've always had
so many questions, you know?
308
00:11:35,166 --> 00:11:37,939
About who I am
and where I come from.
309
00:11:37,972 --> 00:11:40,009
‐
‐And my‐my...
310
00:11:40,043 --> 00:11:42,414
My‐my family heritage,
and‐and, uh...
311
00:11:42,447 --> 00:11:44,284
‐
‐You know, it's good to have
some truth about...
312
00:11:44,318 --> 00:11:46,021
Will you stop?!
You're just...
313
00:11:46,055 --> 00:11:47,157
You're sucking
and slurping away.
314
00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:48,192
I'm trying to have
a conversation
315
00:11:48,226 --> 00:11:50,330
‐with my father.
‐It's jammed in there, Charlie.
316
00:11:50,363 --> 00:11:52,200
‐I don't care,
go to the bathroom...
‐I can't get it out.
317
00:11:52,234 --> 00:11:53,336
‐I'm gonna need a jackhammer.
‐You're using a screw.
318
00:11:53,369 --> 00:11:56,075
You're embarrassing me
in front of my dad here, man.
319
00:11:56,108 --> 00:11:57,210
Sorry about him.
320
00:11:57,244 --> 00:12:00,918
Charlie, I'm just glad
that you're sitting here now.
321
00:12:00,951 --> 00:12:02,487
Yeah.
322
00:12:09,234 --> 00:12:13,877
♪ My boy has found me,
and now I'm glad ♪
323
00:12:17,885 --> 00:12:19,087
Yeah. Okay.
324
00:12:19,121 --> 00:12:22,227
♪ A dad I didn't know I had ♪
325
00:12:24,264 --> 00:12:27,972
♪ The first time round
is a bitter pill ♪
326
00:12:28,372 --> 00:12:31,513
♪ But the second chance
is better still ♪
327
00:12:31,546 --> 00:12:35,486
♪ And then we find
new seeds to sow ♪
328
00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:39,061
♪ To grow our love
we didn't know ♪
329
00:12:40,497 --> 00:12:43,202
♪ The Kelly lads,
the Kelly boys ♪
330
00:12:43,235 --> 00:12:45,340
♪ We drink and laugh
and make our noise ♪
331
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:48,212
♪ We'll sync right up
with all our songs ♪
332
00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:51,085
♪ So come ahead and join along ♪
333
00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:53,222
♪ Hooray! Hurrah! ♪
334
00:12:53,255 --> 00:12:55,393
♪ A fiddle‐dee‐doo,
a fiddle‐da‐da ♪
335
00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:58,299
♪ The Kelly lads,
the Kelly boys ♪
336
00:12:58,332 --> 00:13:00,370
♪ They drink and laugh
and make their noise ♪
337
00:13:00,403 --> 00:13:05,179
♪ We sync right up
with all their songs ♪
338
00:13:05,213 --> 00:13:08,920
♪ So come ahead
and join along. ♪
339
00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:13,563
♪ And I am Frank,
and I factor in somehow. ♪
340
00:13:13,597 --> 00:13:16,235
‐Aw, I shouldn't have
used a screw.
‐Jesus, Frank.
341
00:13:16,268 --> 00:13:18,439
‐Aw, I'm gonna...
‐Go to the bathroom
and clean it up.
342
00:13:18,472 --> 00:13:21,278
‐Go, go. You're embarrassing me.
‐Where's the bathroom?
343
00:13:24,451 --> 00:13:28,159
Walking this path
is a serious commitment.
344
00:13:28,192 --> 00:13:30,531
One that requires
considerable training.
345
00:13:30,564 --> 00:13:34,304
Oh, Father, look, I‐I've been
S'ing and F'ing
346
00:13:34,338 --> 00:13:36,308
my way through life
for far too long.
347
00:13:36,342 --> 00:13:39,014
I think it's time that
I started sucking down
348
00:13:39,047 --> 00:13:39,949
the words of the Bible.
349
00:13:39,982 --> 00:13:42,187
And instead of looking for
pieces of ass,
350
00:13:42,220 --> 00:13:43,255
I'd just look for peace.
351
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:45,393
Well, your language
leaves a bit to be desired,
352
00:13:45,426 --> 00:13:49,001
but your heart's
in the right place.
353
00:13:49,034 --> 00:13:50,436
I think.
354
00:13:50,470 --> 00:13:54,545
So, to truly understand
what this life is like,
355
00:13:54,579 --> 00:13:58,319
you need to spend some time
with someone who's living it.
356
00:13:58,352 --> 00:14:02,193
Brother Thomas, I'd like you
to meet someone.
357
00:14:02,227 --> 00:14:03,429
♪ ♪
358
00:14:03,462 --> 00:14:09,441
♪ And I can't fight
this feeling anymore ♪
359
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,345
♪ I've forgotten what I ♪
360
00:14:11,378 --> 00:14:15,521
♪ Started fighting for ♪
361
00:14:15,554 --> 00:14:20,363
♪ It's time to bring this ship
into the shore ♪
362
00:14:20,396 --> 00:14:23,302
♪ And throw away the oars ♪
363
00:14:23,335 --> 00:14:26,075
♪ Forever ♪
364
00:14:27,645 --> 00:14:30,349
♪ 'Cause I can't
fight this feeling ♪
365
00:14:30,383 --> 00:14:33,657
♪ Anymore ♪
366
00:14:33,690 --> 00:14:38,365
‐♪ I've forgotten. ♪
‐Not him. Give me somebody else.
367
00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:41,338
‐I'm sorry?
‐Father...
368
00:14:41,371 --> 00:14:44,244
I‐I'm gonna be alone
in the seminary
369
00:14:44,277 --> 00:14:45,379
with him, in the rectory?
370
00:14:45,413 --> 00:14:47,383
I mean, these are very
triggering words.
371
00:14:47,417 --> 00:14:49,421
I will S and F him
into oblivion.
372
00:14:49,454 --> 00:14:51,926
I mean, he looks like
Paul Bunyan.
373
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,199
I need more of, like, a...
Elmer Fudd. You got any Fudds?
374
00:14:55,233 --> 00:14:56,669
Let me take a look.
375
00:14:56,703 --> 00:14:59,107
Oh, yeah. What about this guy?
What's his story?
376
00:14:59,141 --> 00:15:00,343
Gus?
377
00:15:00,376 --> 00:15:03,215
Gus? Yeah, I ain't
falling in love with Gus.
378
00:15:03,249 --> 00:15:05,219
Gimme him.
379
00:15:05,253 --> 00:15:07,023
Sure.
380
00:15:07,056 --> 00:15:08,359
♪ ♪
381
00:15:13,537 --> 00:15:17,243
See, Dee?
The bedroom's perfect.
382
00:15:20,316 --> 00:15:22,521
Dude, I think
you need a ventilator.
383
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:25,126
I just need
a good night's sleep.
384
00:15:26,295 --> 00:15:27,998
Just go to bed.
385
00:15:34,478 --> 00:15:36,516
I agree with you, I just...
386
00:15:36,549 --> 00:15:39,020
Well, I don't know
what to do with her.
387
00:15:42,293 --> 00:15:46,135
‐What?
‐What?
388
00:15:46,168 --> 00:15:48,339
Who you talking to?
389
00:15:48,372 --> 00:15:51,145
Nobody.
You're hearing things Dee.
390
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:55,453
I think what I'm hearing
is fluid fill up your lungs.
391
00:15:55,486 --> 00:15:59,996
Dee, just go to bed.
392
00:16:00,029 --> 00:16:02,033
Okay.
393
00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:10,584
It has to be tonight?
394
00:16:10,617 --> 00:16:13,055
Okay, Dennis,
I don't like that.
395
00:16:13,088 --> 00:16:14,224
I don't like it.
396
00:16:14,257 --> 00:16:19,201
I'm not even talking to you.
I'm talking to the castle.
397
00:16:19,234 --> 00:16:22,140
You're talking to the castle?
398
00:16:23,242 --> 00:16:25,313
I‐Is it talking back?
399
00:16:25,346 --> 00:16:27,450
Dee, just go to bed!
400
00:16:36,268 --> 00:16:39,307
It's the hair, by the way.
401
00:16:39,341 --> 00:16:40,711
Okay, n...
402
00:16:40,744 --> 00:16:44,184
right now, are you
talking to me or the castle?
403
00:16:44,217 --> 00:16:45,721
You.
404
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:49,327
We were talking about
beheadings earlier.
405
00:16:49,361 --> 00:16:53,469
‐It's the hair.
‐What's the hair?
406
00:16:53,503 --> 00:16:56,341
Well, that's the trouble
with heads, isn't it?
407
00:16:56,375 --> 00:16:59,214
The hair's not authentic.
408
00:16:59,247 --> 00:17:00,751
It's... it's been tampered with.
409
00:17:00,784 --> 00:17:05,092
That's why there's no smell.
It's a... it's a lie.
410
00:17:06,295 --> 00:17:08,365
The hair is on the head.
411
00:17:08,399 --> 00:17:10,737
The hair is a lie,
and therefore,
412
00:17:10,771 --> 00:17:14,512
it's better to just
remove the head altogether.
413
00:17:14,545 --> 00:17:16,616
Okay. Okay, Dennis,
you're very, very sick,
414
00:17:16,649 --> 00:17:19,354
‐and you need to go
to the hospital.
‐Silence!
415
00:17:24,532 --> 00:17:27,270
Dee, I can't breathe.
I need to go to the hospital.
416
00:17:27,303 --> 00:17:28,573
Yeah, no shit!
417
00:17:28,607 --> 00:17:30,544
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna call us an ambulance
418
00:17:30,577 --> 00:17:32,247
‐and get us out of here.
‐Yeah.
419
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:33,550
No, no, my phone's dead.
420
00:17:33,583 --> 00:17:35,654
Oh, there's no electricity
in this goddamn place.
421
00:17:35,687 --> 00:17:37,423
Then go get the car
and drive me.
422
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:38,526
The car's out of gas.
423
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,296
Then ring the bell!
424
00:17:40,329 --> 00:17:42,267
What bell?
425
00:17:42,300 --> 00:17:43,402
Go to the old bell tower
426
00:17:43,435 --> 00:17:46,408
and ring the goddamn bell,
you bitch!
427
00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:49,548
Oh, God, um...
428
00:17:49,582 --> 00:17:54,525
Goddamn it.
Where's the stupid bell tower?
429
00:17:54,558 --> 00:17:55,661
No. No, no, no, no.
430
00:17:55,694 --> 00:17:57,531
‐
‐Oh, Jesus Christ.
431
00:17:57,564 --> 00:17:59,467
‐
‐Oh!
432
00:17:59,502 --> 00:18:01,305
‐Oh... Oh!
‐
433
00:18:01,338 --> 00:18:04,545
Oh, oh, oh...
434
00:18:04,578 --> 00:18:07,618
Aah! Get off me!
Get off me!
435
00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:10,256
Okay...
436
00:18:12,561 --> 00:18:15,534
‐
‐Hello?
437
00:18:15,567 --> 00:18:16,536
Who is that?
438
00:18:16,569 --> 00:18:19,542
♪ ♪
439
00:18:19,575 --> 00:18:23,550
Your head is a lie.
440
00:18:23,583 --> 00:18:26,556
Dennis?
What are you doing?
441
00:18:26,589 --> 00:18:29,729
You've tampered with it, and...
442
00:18:29,762 --> 00:18:31,633
we won't stand for it
any longer.
443
00:18:31,666 --> 00:18:36,375
Oh, D... Dennis, this is just
the COVID talking, okay?
444
00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:38,145
You're hallucinating.
445
00:18:38,647 --> 00:18:41,284
I don't have COVID.
446
00:18:49,334 --> 00:18:50,604
No, Dennis, please.
447
00:18:50,637 --> 00:18:53,710
Please, Dennis, it's me.
Snap out of it.
448
00:18:53,743 --> 00:18:54,845
‐
‐
449
00:18:54,879 --> 00:18:57,216
Off with her head!
450
00:19:01,859 --> 00:19:02,828
♪ ♪
451
00:19:03,596 --> 00:19:04,732
‐And that's the house.
‐Wow.
452
00:19:04,765 --> 00:19:06,869
‐This place is charming as shit.
‐Yeah.
453
00:19:06,903 --> 00:19:09,441
Dennis would be creaming
in his pants if he saw this.
454
00:19:09,474 --> 00:19:10,610
Right, well, uh,
language, Frank,
455
00:19:10,644 --> 00:19:13,349
‐you know, 'cause
we're guests, so, yeah.
‐Oh, yeah.
456
00:19:13,382 --> 00:19:14,417
It's a lovely home.
457
00:19:14,451 --> 00:19:17,624
Uh, are you sure okay
with us staying the night?
458
00:19:17,658 --> 00:19:19,595
Oh, I insist.
Yeah.
459
00:19:19,628 --> 00:19:21,431
I have a spare room
down the hall,
460
00:19:21,465 --> 00:19:23,335
and, uh, I set up a cot
for you there.
461
00:19:23,369 --> 00:19:25,473
Oh, well, we'll take the cot.
462
00:19:25,507 --> 00:19:27,711
Y... You'll both
sleep on the cot?
463
00:19:27,745 --> 00:19:32,521
Uh, I think I'd rather
take the bedroom, Frank.
464
00:19:32,554 --> 00:19:34,759
Won't you get lonely in there?
What if it gets cold?
465
00:19:34,792 --> 00:19:36,461
Oh, there are plenty
of blankets.
466
00:19:36,496 --> 00:19:37,397
What if I poop the bed?
467
00:19:37,430 --> 00:19:39,502
Who's gonna be in there
to laugh with me?
468
00:19:39,535 --> 00:19:41,639
‐What? You might shit the bed?
‐No, no, no.
469
00:19:41,672 --> 00:19:43,510
If that's the case,
I have other sheets.
470
00:19:43,543 --> 00:19:44,879
‐No, no, no, he won't.
‐One time.
471
00:19:44,912 --> 00:19:47,551
‐It was fun...
‐There was a one‐time incident,
472
00:19:47,584 --> 00:19:48,753
‐It was a fun thing.
‐and it was a joke,
473
00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:50,423
and it really
wasn't that funny, so...
474
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:51,926
‐It wasn't?
‐Uh, no.
475
00:19:51,959 --> 00:19:54,732
‐I thought you thought
it was funny.
‐Nope.
476
00:19:54,765 --> 00:19:57,270
Well, uh, I'm heading off.
477
00:19:57,303 --> 00:19:58,506
Yeah. Sounds good.
478
00:19:58,540 --> 00:20:00,644
‐Good night.
‐Yeah, yeah.
479
00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:04,350
Hey, um, good night...
480
00:20:05,386 --> 00:20:06,622
...Dad.
481
00:20:06,656 --> 00:20:10,196
Oh.
Good night, son.
482
00:20:17,578 --> 00:20:20,650
‐Oh, seed! I got you.
‐Yeah?
483
00:20:20,684 --> 00:20:22,654
I found you, seed.
Look at it.
484
00:20:22,688 --> 00:20:24,925
‐I coughed it out.
‐Yeah. Gross. Yeah.
485
00:20:24,959 --> 00:20:28,533
Oh. I thought
you'd be happy for me.
486
00:20:28,566 --> 00:20:31,639
Uh, sure, I guess.
Sure.
487
00:20:31,672 --> 00:20:34,678
Oh.
I should eat it again.
488
00:20:34,712 --> 00:20:37,684
Then it would be funny 'cause
I didn't learn my lesson.
489
00:20:37,718 --> 00:20:38,820
No, that wouldn't be funny.
490
00:20:38,853 --> 00:20:40,590
It'd just be kind of dumb,
you know.
491
00:20:40,624 --> 00:20:43,429
Oh.
492
00:20:43,462 --> 00:20:45,734
Um...
493
00:20:45,767 --> 00:20:47,805
I think‐I think
I'm gonna go to bed.
494
00:20:47,838 --> 00:20:49,608
‐All right.
‐Yeah.
495
00:20:49,642 --> 00:20:50,877
‐Uh...
‐So you're gonna
stay in the room?
496
00:20:50,911 --> 00:20:52,848
‐Yeah, I'm gonna go to bed
in here and...
‐I‐I'll stay...
497
00:20:52,881 --> 00:20:55,419
‐I'll stay on the...
I'll stay on the...
‐All right.
498
00:20:55,453 --> 00:20:57,591
Good night, Frank.
499
00:20:57,624 --> 00:20:59,294
Good night, Charlie.
500
00:21:01,331 --> 00:21:03,402
♪ ♪
501
00:21:13,489 --> 00:21:15,292
Good night, Charlie.
502
00:21:56,074 --> 00:21:59,347
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