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1
00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:05,456
[ Clicks tongue ]
Dave?
2
00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:10,133
Yes, Dad?
3
00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:13,006
Can you help me with something?
I think it's your...fridge?
4
00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:15,184
Something seems off.
5
00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:16,063
Well, without even
looking at it,
6
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,849
I can tell you
that it's not supposed to be
7
00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:19,062
opened and shut
every 30 seconds.
8
00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:20,232
[ Chuckles ]
9
00:00:20,269 --> 00:00:21,899
Maybe take a break
on the snacks.
10
00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:22,858
Yeah.
11
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:23,977
It looks fine.
12
00:00:24,023 --> 00:00:25,403
Did you, like ‐‐
13
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,530
Ow, my foot!
14
00:00:27,568 --> 00:00:29,858
So it's happening to you,
too, huh?
15
00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:32,034
Do we have any food
in the house?
16
00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:33,573
What the hell?
17
00:00:33,574 --> 00:00:36,084
Uncle Arty
is coming any second
18
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:38,119
and he's gonna expect
a big spread.
19
00:00:38,162 --> 00:00:40,122
Uncle Arty's coming?
You gotta tell me this stuff.
20
00:00:40,164 --> 00:00:41,254
I did.
21
00:00:41,290 --> 00:00:42,420
Just now.
22
00:00:42,458 --> 00:00:43,538
[ Knocks on door ]
23
00:00:43,584 --> 00:00:44,924
Maybe he can
look at my foot.
24
00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:46,421
Oh, what's the matter
with your foot?
25
00:00:46,462 --> 00:00:47,592
It's perfect,
like your face.
26
00:00:47,588 --> 00:00:48,838
I love you!
27
00:00:48,881 --> 00:00:49,881
I love you.
[ Door opens ]
28
00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:51,094
Hello, family!
29
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:53,434
I'm here,
and I'm starving!
30
00:00:53,469 --> 00:00:56,349
By the way, parallel parking
with a phone in your hand
31
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:57,969
is terrible!
32
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,602
Arty,
what's the big news?
33
00:01:01,602 --> 00:01:02,402
Oh, yeah.
34
00:01:02,436 --> 00:01:03,936
Aunt Judith ‐‐
35
00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:04,940
dead.
[ Gasps ]
36
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:07,071
Oh, no!
37
00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:08,608
What a horrible way
to hear that.
38
00:01:08,609 --> 00:01:12,279
I don't understand.
She wasn't even sick.
39
00:01:12,321 --> 00:01:14,451
Joanna, she was 103.
40
00:01:14,490 --> 00:01:17,080
Age is just a number,
Dave.
41
00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:19,448
But that number
was 103.
42
00:01:19,495 --> 00:01:20,655
Oh, boy.
43
00:01:20,705 --> 00:01:22,285
Aunt Judith
was a cool lady.
44
00:01:22,331 --> 00:01:23,501
I'm so sorry.
45
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,961
Oh, she was my favorite
great‐aunt.
46
00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:28,132
The last
of her generation.
47
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:30,091
She was like
my kindred spirit.
48
00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:31,051
She was the only one
in the family
49
00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:32,880
who didn't ask me
when I was getting married
50
00:01:32,925 --> 00:01:33,755
all the time.
51
00:01:33,801 --> 00:01:35,431
Well, I never ask you that,
Joanna.
52
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:36,890
Thanks, Doctor Uncle.
53
00:01:36,929 --> 00:01:38,259
Because I know
it's never gonna happen.
54
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:41,979
Oh, Debbie,
I got to tell you,
55
00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:44,148
she left you something
in the will.
56
00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:45,975
Debbie: Aww.
Her favorite Mont Blanc pen.
57
00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:48,982
[ Chuckling ] Oh.
She loved that pen.
58
00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:51,493
She used that pen to write
the part of her will
59
00:01:51,527 --> 00:01:54,657
that left me a two‐bedroom house
in Boca!
60
00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:55,987
[ Scoffs ]
61
00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:58,122
She left you a house?
62
00:01:58,159 --> 00:01:59,039
Yeah!
63
00:01:59,076 --> 00:02:01,036
Well, I did some pro‐bono
physical therapy
64
00:02:01,078 --> 00:02:02,958
on her knee
before she died,
65
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:05,117
so at least I know
that when she met her maker,
66
00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:07,666
her ligaments were supple.
67
00:02:07,668 --> 00:02:10,498
So you massaged
her 103‐year‐old knee,
68
00:02:10,546 --> 00:02:13,336
and she gave you a house?
69
00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:15,971
I'm very good at what I do,
Dave.
70
00:02:18,387 --> 00:02:23,637
♪♪♪
71
00:02:23,684 --> 00:02:25,694
Oh, Rebecca!
72
00:02:25,686 --> 00:02:28,016
I have something
for you.
73
00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:32,034
All the years,
Stewie and I hosted everyone
74
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,988
after the funeral.
75
00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:35,948
It's called a shiva.
76
00:02:35,988 --> 00:02:37,618
We mourn.
77
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,697
We tell sad stories.
78
00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:42,370
We cry a lot.
79
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:44,210
I live for them.
Yeah.
80
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:48,207
Unfortunately,
people have to die for them.
81
00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:50,211
[ Both laugh ]
82
00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:51,381
Well, anyway,
83
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,339
now that we're living
in your house,
84
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,341
I thought it's time for me
85
00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:57,643
to pass the torch ‐‐
86
00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:58,547
to you.
87
00:02:58,553 --> 00:02:59,973
Deb!
88
00:03:00,012 --> 00:03:01,222
I'm touched.
89
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:04,062
I want you to have
my shiva shawl.
90
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,060
Wha...?
91
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,561
I have worn this shawl
92
00:03:06,602 --> 00:03:09,232
to every shiva
I've ever thrown.
93
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,022
Oh. Thanks, Deb.
94
00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:12,975
I was thinking I needed
something appropriate.
95
00:03:13,025 --> 00:03:16,025
Wow!
It's leopard print.
96
00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:18,240
Yeah, you gotta have some flair,
you know?
97
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,071
I mean,
you're not the dead one.
98
00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:21,326
Oh.
99
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,077
[ Chuckles ]
100
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:23,158
Mm!
101
00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:27,622
There are shoes to match,
but your feet are too big.
102
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:28,995
Hey.
103
00:03:29,041 --> 00:03:31,041
Oh, hi, Davey.
Hi, missed you, baby.
104
00:03:31,085 --> 00:03:31,995
Guess what.
105
00:03:32,044 --> 00:03:35,344
You're gonna be
hosting Aunt Judith's shiva.
106
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:38,091
I have passed the torch
of hosting
107
00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:40,054
to your beautiful bride.
108
00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:42,014
Oh, that's so nice.
109
00:03:42,054 --> 00:03:43,434
Now pass it back.
110
00:03:43,472 --> 00:03:44,432
No!
111
00:03:44,473 --> 00:03:46,433
Dave,
this is a big honor.
112
00:03:46,475 --> 00:03:48,345
Rebecca, a big honor
113
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,274
is getting
to dance with Ellen.
114
00:03:52,606 --> 00:03:54,606
Having my family over
after a funeral
115
00:03:54,608 --> 00:03:56,778
is just a bunch
of older people complaining
116
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,449
and eating your food,
and spoiler alert...
117
00:03:59,488 --> 00:04:00,778
[ Sighs ]
...we already have that.
118
00:04:00,781 --> 00:04:02,121
Yeah.
119
00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:03,448
Look, Dave,
120
00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:06,451
if you don't want
to do the shiva, don't.
121
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,164
You'll do the next one.
Thank you, Mom.
122
00:04:08,205 --> 00:04:09,285
Because it'll be mine,
123
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:12,792
because you will kill me
if you don't take the torch.
124
00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:14,745
David, take the torch.
125
00:04:14,795 --> 00:04:16,085
I don't want
the torch.
126
00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:17,300
Take the torch!
127
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,380
It's not a torch
for us to take.
128
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:20,585
We are taking
the torch!
129
00:04:20,634 --> 00:04:21,804
Fine!
We're taking the torch.
130
00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:22,764
Yay!
131
00:04:22,803 --> 00:04:25,603
♪♪♪
132
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,560
This is a big milestone,
133
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,730
hosting our first
family event.
134
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,479
Rebecca,
it's not Thanksgiving.
135
00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:33,269
It's a shiva.
136
00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:35,444
It's just my family sitting
around eating horseradish
137
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:37,153
and trying to avoid
my cousin Dan
138
00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:39,401
so he doesn't invite anybody
to one of his stand‐up shows.
139
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:42,235
Yeah, but what if
we made it our own a little,
140
00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:43,491
like our wedding?
141
00:04:43,532 --> 00:04:46,332
I mean, we were
wedding vanguards, remember?
142
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:49,499
We were the first people
to have a photo booth.
143
00:04:49,538 --> 00:04:51,368
Everyone took
all those funny pictures,
144
00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:53,084
except cousin Dan.
145
00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:56,168
Hey, you know who loved it?
Your Aunt Judith.
146
00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:57,092
Oh, yeah.
147
00:04:57,129 --> 00:04:58,589
She was always taking
the prop mustache
148
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:01,091
and putting it over
her regular mustache.
149
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,102
Exactly!
150
00:05:04,136 --> 00:05:07,306
She was a hip lady
who bucked convention.
151
00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:09,848
She would've loved
a modern shiva.
152
00:05:09,850 --> 00:05:11,850
Should it have
a doughnut bar?
153
00:05:11,852 --> 00:05:14,772
We'll do
high‐end s'mores.
154
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:15,694
It's just ‐‐
155
00:05:15,731 --> 00:05:17,821
It's so crazy to me
that my Aunt Judith
156
00:05:17,858 --> 00:05:20,358
left my Uncle Art
a house in Florida.
157
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,403
He's never gonna use it.
158
00:05:21,445 --> 00:05:24,775
He complains about the humidity
in the shower.
159
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:27,704
Would it be nuts to ask him
to let my parents stay there?
160
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:28,702
I mean, at least
until he retires
161
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,253
and moves down there
full time?
162
00:05:30,287 --> 00:05:32,577
I mean,
that would be amazing,
163
00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:34,463
but you'd have to ask
your parents first.
164
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,130
It is their life.
165
00:05:36,168 --> 00:05:39,208
Yeah, but their life
is filling up my DVR
166
00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:40,213
with "The Masked Singer."
167
00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:43,724
Trust me, I think
they're gonna love this plan.
168
00:05:43,759 --> 00:05:47,139
That's a dumb idea.
Who the hell came up with that?
169
00:05:47,179 --> 00:05:48,559
We Kleins are
a proud people,
170
00:05:48,597 --> 00:05:51,387
and we could never,
ever inconvenience our family
171
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,894
like that.
172
00:05:53,936 --> 00:05:55,806
[ Chuckling ]
You live in my house.
173
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,225
Exactly!
174
00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:59,363
We have a place to stay.
175
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,240
I'm not asking Uncle Arty
176
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:05,235
because this
is what Aunt Judith wanted.
177
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:07,741
But [sighs]...
Uncle Art has a house.
178
00:06:07,783 --> 00:06:08,913
Why does he need two?
179
00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:10,241
But if we asked him
to stay there,
180
00:06:10,244 --> 00:06:11,334
and he said yes,
181
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:13,960
then we would be the ones
with two houses.
182
00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:16,228
This is my house!
183
00:06:16,226 --> 00:06:19,366
You don't have
any houses.
184
00:06:20,632 --> 00:06:21,332
Forget it!
185
00:06:27,933 --> 00:06:30,093
♪♪♪
186
00:06:30,629 --> 00:06:31,759
Hey, Joanna.
187
00:06:31,796 --> 00:06:32,966
Is everything okay?
188
00:06:33,009 --> 00:06:35,349
[ Scoffs ] I'm just so down
about Aunt Judith.
189
00:06:35,387 --> 00:06:37,007
I can't believe
she died alone.
190
00:06:37,055 --> 00:06:37,715
Yeah.
191
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,224
I am not going out
like that.
192
00:06:39,224 --> 00:06:40,684
I've got to meet someone.
193
00:06:40,725 --> 00:06:42,635
Oh, you will
meet someone.
194
00:06:42,686 --> 00:06:44,306
Yeah, well, I meet people
all the time,
195
00:06:44,354 --> 00:06:45,904
then they all end up
being lunatics.
196
00:06:45,897 --> 00:06:47,317
[ Sighs ]
197
00:06:47,357 --> 00:06:48,897
I'm taking
a new approach,
198
00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:51,570
so I made this list
of all the traits
199
00:06:51,569 --> 00:06:53,699
I am looking for
in a future partner.
200
00:06:53,738 --> 00:06:54,568
Okay.
201
00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,374
Strong swimmer.
Mm‐hmm.
202
00:06:56,408 --> 00:06:59,328
Between 5'4" and 5'9".
203
00:06:59,369 --> 00:07:00,699
Does accents?
204
00:07:00,745 --> 00:07:02,705
[ British accent ]
Oh, I fancy 'em.
205
00:07:02,747 --> 00:07:05,997
Eeeh.
Don't ever do that again.
206
00:07:06,042 --> 00:07:07,712
Hi, girls.
207
00:07:07,752 --> 00:07:10,262
We brought
the silver tea service...
208
00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:11,915
[ Door closes ]
...and the family china
209
00:07:11,923 --> 00:07:13,683
and all the chafing dishes.
210
00:07:13,717 --> 00:07:15,427
Where do you want us
to put them?
211
00:07:15,427 --> 00:07:17,177
Oh, we won't be
needing that.
212
00:07:17,220 --> 00:07:19,010
I have my own
serving ware.
213
00:07:19,055 --> 00:07:20,555
Not to brag,
but it's the same set
214
00:07:20,598 --> 00:07:22,178
Chrissy Teigen has.
215
00:07:22,225 --> 00:07:25,435
[ Chuckles ] Oh.
I find her very appealing.
216
00:07:25,437 --> 00:07:27,017
Yeah.
217
00:07:27,063 --> 00:07:28,693
But does she have
chafing dishes?
218
00:07:28,732 --> 00:07:29,522
You're gonna need them
219
00:07:29,566 --> 00:07:32,066
to keep
Aunt Marilyn's kugel warm.
220
00:07:32,110 --> 00:07:34,280
When it's cold,
it's like a brick.
221
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:36,109
Wh‐When it's warm,
it's like a brick,
222
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:37,446
but at least it's warm.
223
00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:40,240
Well...
I've got the food covered.
224
00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:43,075
I found a cool recipe
for kugel empanadas
225
00:07:43,121 --> 00:07:44,581
on this lifestyle blog.
226
00:07:44,622 --> 00:07:46,622
Kugel empanadas?
227
00:07:46,624 --> 00:07:49,594
Rebecca,
a woman is dead.
228
00:07:51,463 --> 00:07:54,553
Well, I know
it's a little unconventional,
229
00:07:54,591 --> 00:07:57,721
but Aunt Judith,
she was an unconventional lady.
230
00:07:57,761 --> 00:07:58,641
Don't worry.
231
00:07:58,636 --> 00:08:02,426
Everything is gonna
be very tasteful.
232
00:08:02,474 --> 00:08:05,644
Just picked up Aunt Judith
from the printer!
233
00:08:05,643 --> 00:08:08,273
Hey, set her over
in the selfie corner.
234
00:08:09,773 --> 00:08:14,993
♪♪♪
235
00:08:14,986 --> 00:08:16,566
[ Door closes ]
Stew: Baby, please
try to be calm.
236
00:08:16,654 --> 00:08:18,374
Relax.
Let Rebecca do her thing.
237
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,615
I can't relax, Stewie.
238
00:08:20,617 --> 00:08:21,737
I'm not happy!
239
00:08:21,785 --> 00:08:23,495
[ Sighing ]
Drink your drink.
240
00:08:23,495 --> 00:08:26,745
Oh, what is with this rosemary,
Stew?
241
00:08:26,790 --> 00:08:29,630
I'm not basting
a chicken.
242
00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:31,667
This isn't the way
it's supposed to be!
243
00:08:31,669 --> 00:08:33,759
You mean,
it's not the way you did it.
244
00:08:33,797 --> 00:08:36,127
You and I always had
the best shivas.
245
00:08:36,174 --> 00:08:37,304
Everyone was
talking about it.
246
00:08:37,342 --> 00:08:40,012
You're not wrong.
You're not wrong.
247
00:08:40,011 --> 00:08:42,311
Like the time Uncle Isaac
hung on for another two weeks
248
00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:45,057
so we could throw his shiva
in Atlantic City.
249
00:08:46,810 --> 00:08:52,150
I mean, really,
an Aunt Judith selfie station?
250
00:08:52,190 --> 00:08:55,780
Why is that woman
changing everything?
251
00:08:55,819 --> 00:08:58,029
You mean your gorgeous
daughter‐in‐law
252
00:08:58,029 --> 00:08:59,529
who you said
makes you so proud
253
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:01,532
and who you gifted
your favorite shawl to?
254
00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:02,664
[ Sighs ]
255
00:09:02,701 --> 00:09:05,501
Yeah, her.
256
00:09:05,537 --> 00:09:08,367
You know, I remember
the first time you hosted,
257
00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:13,133
and my mother [chuckles] was on
you like white on rice, right,
258
00:09:13,169 --> 00:09:14,379
criticizing
every choice.
259
00:09:14,379 --> 00:09:16,669
Oh, I know.
She made me feel terrible.
260
00:09:16,715 --> 00:09:19,505
I mean, she said
that my shawl was too flashy,
261
00:09:19,551 --> 00:09:21,181
wasn't good taste.
262
00:09:21,219 --> 00:09:22,349
Ah.
Insane.
263
00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:23,557
I know!
264
00:09:23,555 --> 00:09:26,805
But you had
to make it your own.
265
00:09:26,850 --> 00:09:29,690
And there's a tradition
of bucking tradition.
266
00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:34,227
But, Stewie, why does
being herself have
267
00:09:34,232 --> 00:09:38,152
to have a little twig branch
in a perfectly good cocktail?
268
00:09:38,194 --> 00:09:40,414
Baby, we just have
to let Rebecca
269
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:42,277
do the hosting
in her own way.
270
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,702
No, no, no, no, no!
271
00:09:43,742 --> 00:09:46,332
Do you have any idea
what's going on up there?!
272
00:09:46,369 --> 00:09:48,829
It'll be a debacle,
like their wedding!
273
00:09:48,872 --> 00:09:51,372
Hey, the wedding
was not a debacle.
274
00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:53,076
I mean, yes,
it was a little trendy.
275
00:09:53,084 --> 00:09:54,044
Stewie.
What?
276
00:09:54,085 --> 00:09:58,085
Instead of a glass,
they broke a mason jar.
277
00:09:58,089 --> 00:10:00,589
Still,
you passed the torch, Deb,
278
00:10:00,592 --> 00:10:03,092
and the torch cannot be
un‐passed, right?
279
00:10:03,094 --> 00:10:04,854
Right.
280
00:10:04,888 --> 00:10:06,508
Wrong!
281
00:10:06,556 --> 00:10:08,386
Listen,
you don't fix this right now,
282
00:10:08,433 --> 00:10:10,523
you're gonna be the pariah
of the family.
283
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:12,270
[ Gasps ]
Well, in that case,
284
00:10:12,270 --> 00:10:15,110
can't we give the guests
an option, you know?
285
00:10:15,106 --> 00:10:16,016
Deb!
Yes!
286
00:10:16,065 --> 00:10:19,275
Yes, I'm not eating
chopped liver poke,
287
00:10:19,277 --> 00:10:20,897
or whatever it is.
288
00:10:20,945 --> 00:10:23,155
I want horseradish.
I want herring.
289
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:26,366
I want babka,
and I want pickled everything.
290
00:10:26,409 --> 00:10:30,119
♪♪♪
291
00:10:30,121 --> 00:10:32,581
Hey, I don't know what you're
doing on Tuesday at 10:00 p. m.,
292
00:10:32,624 --> 00:10:34,424
but I'm doing stand‐up
two hours from here.
293
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:37,299
It's pretty cool.
I'm funny and edgy...
294
00:10:37,295 --> 00:10:38,795
raw.
[ Chuckles ]
295
00:10:38,797 --> 00:10:40,257
I got to be honest,
Cousin Dan,
296
00:10:40,298 --> 00:10:41,548
I‐I'm never gonna
come to that.
297
00:10:41,591 --> 00:10:42,301
Okay.
298
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:43,430
Put you down
for a plus‐two.
299
00:10:43,468 --> 00:10:45,758
[ Laughs ]
No, thank you.
300
00:10:45,804 --> 00:10:48,934
Oh, am I glad to see you.
I need a drink.
301
00:10:48,973 --> 00:10:51,433
Mm, can I interest you
in a Borscht‐tini?
302
00:10:51,476 --> 00:10:52,346
Is it good?
303
00:10:52,393 --> 00:10:54,653
I mean, it's sour cream
and beets in gin,
304
00:10:54,646 --> 00:10:55,726
so no.
305
00:10:55,772 --> 00:10:58,272
Okay.
306
00:10:58,316 --> 00:10:59,606
Oh, honestly?
307
00:10:59,651 --> 00:11:01,151
After that description?
308
00:11:01,152 --> 00:11:01,742
Wow.
[ Exhales sharply ]
309
00:11:01,778 --> 00:11:04,198
Let me get a beer, too.
310
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:05,277
Sorry,
I'm not normally like this,
311
00:11:05,323 --> 00:11:06,453
just family stuff.
312
00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:07,581
Oh, I get it.
313
00:11:07,617 --> 00:11:10,287
Everyone's always asking me
when I'm gonna settle down.
314
00:11:10,328 --> 00:11:11,078
Me too.
315
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:12,960
It's like, I'm looking,
lay off.
316
00:11:12,997 --> 00:11:14,827
Yeah, like hounding me
is gonna make me
317
00:11:14,833 --> 00:11:16,843
find the perfect girlfriend
any faster.
318
00:11:16,835 --> 00:11:18,835
Do you know how hard it is
for me to find someone
319
00:11:18,837 --> 00:11:21,257
who likes dogs
as much as I do?
320
00:11:21,297 --> 00:11:22,297
[ Chuckles ]
321
00:11:25,009 --> 00:11:25,969
Thanks for the drink.
322
00:11:26,010 --> 00:11:26,930
[ Chuckles ]
323
00:11:26,970 --> 00:11:28,680
Do you do accents?
324
00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:31,390
Uh...
[Italian accent] Not anymore‐a.
325
00:11:33,351 --> 00:11:34,811
[ Laughs ]
326
00:11:36,855 --> 00:11:38,765
Oh, leaving so soon?
327
00:11:38,815 --> 00:11:40,935
Make sure to get a pic
with Aunt Judith over there
328
00:11:40,984 --> 00:11:43,494
and hashtag it
#ShivaToDieFor7.
329
00:11:43,528 --> 00:11:46,698
#ShivaToDieFor one through six
were taken.
[ Chuckling ] Yeah.
330
00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:48,409
I'm just taking this
to the other shiva.
331
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:51,288
I came here by accident.
332
00:11:51,327 --> 00:11:56,207
♪♪♪
333
00:11:56,207 --> 00:11:57,267
What is this?
334
00:11:57,310 --> 00:11:58,970
Oh, this is
the basement shiva.
335
00:12:00,471 --> 00:12:01,811
Kugel?
336
00:12:09,690 --> 00:12:12,390
So, you threw an alternate
basement shiva?
337
00:12:12,401 --> 00:12:14,571
You gave me the torch
and then you took it back?
338
00:12:14,611 --> 00:12:17,361
No, technically Deb did not
take back the torch.
339
00:12:17,406 --> 00:12:20,026
She simply lit
a second brighter torch
340
00:12:20,075 --> 00:12:22,365
which made the first torch
totally meaningless.
341
00:12:22,411 --> 00:12:24,871
[ Scoffs ] Oh.
And you think this
is helping the situation?
342
00:12:25,956 --> 00:12:27,956
Rebecca,
here's what happened.
343
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,590
A couple of people said
344
00:12:29,626 --> 00:12:32,046
that they wanted to have
the more traditional food,
345
00:12:32,087 --> 00:12:35,547
so I said they can come down
to the basement with it,
346
00:12:35,591 --> 00:12:37,931
and then one thing
led to another,
347
00:12:37,926 --> 00:12:38,966
and before you knew it,
348
00:12:39,011 --> 00:12:43,601
we had this upstairs/downstairs
shiva...situation.
349
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:46,100
One thing didn't
lead to another.
350
00:12:46,101 --> 00:12:47,601
This is what you do.
351
00:12:47,603 --> 00:12:50,443
This is what you've been doing
since you moved in here,
352
00:12:50,439 --> 00:12:52,109
and I have had it!
353
00:12:52,149 --> 00:12:55,439
So if you want your torch back,
take your shawl back, too.
354
00:12:55,444 --> 00:12:57,404
[ All gasp ]
355
00:12:57,446 --> 00:12:59,946
The shiksa shunned
356
00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:01,740
the shiva shawl.
357
00:13:01,784 --> 00:13:04,084
For shame!
358
00:13:04,119 --> 00:13:06,249
Not cool...
but raw!
359
00:13:08,290 --> 00:13:12,460
You know, it seems like everyone
could really use a drink, so...
360
00:13:12,461 --> 00:13:13,961
I'm gonna go see what
that bartender's up to.
361
00:13:14,004 --> 00:13:16,634
Rebecca,
362
00:13:16,673 --> 00:13:18,973
we might've passed the torch
back and forth
363
00:13:19,009 --> 00:13:20,969
several times
in this family,
364
00:13:20,969 --> 00:13:25,099
but no one has ever returned
the shiva shawl!
365
00:13:26,308 --> 00:13:29,268
Mom, you undermined us,
just like you did at our wedding
366
00:13:29,311 --> 00:13:32,771
when you changed the
choreography of the flash mob.
367
00:13:32,815 --> 00:13:33,515
Please, in fairness,
368
00:13:33,565 --> 00:13:35,645
she did not go lightly
into this.
369
00:13:35,651 --> 00:13:38,611
Your mother tortured herself
as to whether or not
370
00:13:38,654 --> 00:13:40,664
she should betray you
with this basement shiva.
371
00:13:40,697 --> 00:13:42,617
Unbelievable.
She is a beautiful angel!
372
00:13:42,658 --> 00:13:45,328
You know who was
a beautiful angel?
373
00:13:46,370 --> 00:13:47,160
Your Aunt Judith.
374
00:13:47,204 --> 00:13:48,504
Oh, yeah, she was.
Of course, yes.
375
00:13:48,497 --> 00:13:51,037
Judith was
a generous person.
376
00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:53,171
So generous that she said
377
00:13:53,210 --> 00:13:56,000
she liked Dave and Rebecca's
horrible wedding,
378
00:13:56,004 --> 00:13:57,674
despite the loud music,
379
00:13:57,714 --> 00:13:59,514
the terrible food,
380
00:13:59,508 --> 00:14:01,638
and that
miserable parking.
381
00:14:01,677 --> 00:14:04,177
We had free valet, Art!
382
00:14:04,179 --> 00:14:07,019
I don't like people
in my car, Dave.
383
00:14:07,015 --> 00:14:09,475
The point is...
384
00:14:09,518 --> 00:14:12,688
is that she gave
of herself,
385
00:14:12,688 --> 00:14:15,188
whether it be soup
to the homeless.
386
00:14:15,190 --> 00:14:17,650
She gave me
her handicap parking space
387
00:14:17,693 --> 00:14:20,033
at your very loud wedding.
388
00:14:21,196 --> 00:14:24,696
And her OxyContin
to her nurses...
389
00:14:24,741 --> 00:14:28,001
and me
during her final days.
390
00:14:29,371 --> 00:14:32,251
Judith gave back.
391
00:14:32,249 --> 00:14:34,249
That's exactly
what I'm gonna do.
392
00:14:34,293 --> 00:14:36,173
Oh, my God,
I think it's happening.
393
00:14:36,211 --> 00:14:37,841
Stew...
394
00:14:37,879 --> 00:14:39,169
Deb.
395
00:14:39,214 --> 00:14:42,384
The house in Florida ‐‐
396
00:14:42,384 --> 00:14:43,684
it's yours.
397
00:14:43,719 --> 00:14:45,849
[ Gasps ]
Ours?
398
00:14:45,887 --> 00:14:48,517
Oh, my God.
Arty, we can't.
399
00:14:48,557 --> 00:14:49,387
Yes, you can.
400
00:14:49,391 --> 00:14:51,061
I thought long and hard
about this.
401
00:14:51,059 --> 00:14:53,729
This is what Judith
would've wanted ‐‐
402
00:14:53,770 --> 00:14:55,400
for me to have
403
00:14:55,397 --> 00:14:57,397
a great legacy.
404
00:14:57,441 --> 00:14:59,071
I don't know
what to say.
405
00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:02,027
I do! [Bleep] yeah!
406
00:15:04,072 --> 00:15:07,412
Is the way Judith
would have reacted.
407
00:15:09,244 --> 00:15:13,794
♪♪♪
408
00:15:13,832 --> 00:15:15,632
There you are.
409
00:15:15,667 --> 00:15:18,587
Here I am.
410
00:15:18,587 --> 00:15:21,207
I've been looking everywhere
for you.
411
00:15:21,256 --> 00:15:23,546
Really?
We're all just in one room.
412
00:15:23,592 --> 00:15:27,392
Look, this ‐‐
this might sound crazy, but...
413
00:15:27,429 --> 00:15:29,559
I feel a real connection
to you.
414
00:15:29,598 --> 00:15:32,058
Oh, that doesn't sound crazy
at all.
415
00:15:33,101 --> 00:15:34,391
I knew you felt
the same way.
416
00:15:34,436 --> 00:15:35,096
Mm!
417
00:15:35,145 --> 00:15:37,265
Oh, no, Joanna!
Joanna, n‐no!
418
00:15:37,272 --> 00:15:38,442
Y‐You don't want
to do this.
419
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:39,900
No, I know, Art!
I know!
420
00:15:39,941 --> 00:15:43,111
She may be short,
and she may not be an architect.
421
00:15:43,111 --> 00:15:44,451
She's not much
of a kisser,
422
00:15:44,446 --> 00:15:47,236
but I am trying
to follow my heart.
423
00:15:47,282 --> 00:15:48,622
Alright,
424
00:15:48,659 --> 00:15:51,289
but your heart just led you
to your cousin Margaret.
425
00:15:53,121 --> 00:15:54,791
No!
426
00:15:54,831 --> 00:15:56,171
But ‐‐
427
00:15:56,166 --> 00:15:57,956
So, you're not
the bartender?
428
00:15:58,001 --> 00:15:59,631
I'm a surgeon.
429
00:15:59,670 --> 00:16:00,800
You are?
430
00:16:00,837 --> 00:16:01,877
Still your cousin.
431
00:16:01,922 --> 00:16:04,802
Sorry! I'm getting confused!
I just don't understand.
432
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,300
If you're not the bartender,
why are you standing by the bar?
433
00:16:07,302 --> 00:16:09,812
Because I was drinking,
because I was at a shiva,
434
00:16:09,805 --> 00:16:10,805
and now I'm gonna
be drinking
435
00:16:10,847 --> 00:16:14,097
because I just made out
with my cousin, so...
436
00:16:15,477 --> 00:16:16,477
[ Sighs ]
437
00:16:17,479 --> 00:16:18,809
[ Exhales sharply ]
438
00:16:18,855 --> 00:16:20,265
Aah!
439
00:16:20,315 --> 00:16:22,605
[ Knocks on door ]
440
00:16:22,651 --> 00:16:24,151
Can I come in?
441
00:16:24,152 --> 00:16:25,452
[ Softly ] Yeah.
442
00:16:25,487 --> 00:16:27,947
I wanted
to give you this.
443
00:16:27,989 --> 00:16:30,329
Your shawl?
444
00:16:30,325 --> 00:16:32,825
And the matching shoes.
445
00:16:32,828 --> 00:16:33,538
Well...
446
00:16:33,578 --> 00:16:36,248
you could
stretch them out.
447
00:16:37,374 --> 00:16:39,174
Congrats
on the new house.
448
00:16:39,209 --> 00:16:41,669
Oh, thank you.
449
00:16:41,670 --> 00:16:43,170
And congrats to you, too,
450
00:16:43,213 --> 00:16:45,843
'cause now I won't be around
meddling so much.
451
00:16:45,882 --> 00:16:47,302
Deb.
452
00:16:47,342 --> 00:16:47,842
No, no.
453
00:16:47,884 --> 00:16:50,684
I'm so sorry, beauty.
454
00:16:50,679 --> 00:16:52,849
Deb, that means a lot.
455
00:16:52,848 --> 00:16:54,638
I'm sorry, too.
456
00:16:54,683 --> 00:16:56,183
You?
Yeah.
457
00:16:56,184 --> 00:16:57,194
For what?
458
00:16:57,185 --> 00:16:59,185
Well,
I should've listened.
459
00:16:59,229 --> 00:17:01,819
Maybe my shiva
was too out there.
460
00:17:01,857 --> 00:17:04,857
I mean, nobody even danced
in the drum circle.
461
00:17:04,860 --> 00:17:06,360
Oh, yeah.
462
00:17:06,403 --> 00:17:09,873
Aunt Judith
would have loved it.
463
00:17:09,865 --> 00:17:11,985
You know,
I don't say this often enough,
464
00:17:12,033 --> 00:17:15,373
but I really admire you.
465
00:17:15,370 --> 00:17:18,710
Well,
I admire you, too.
466
00:17:18,749 --> 00:17:20,419
Nothing ever
gets you down.
467
00:17:20,459 --> 00:17:22,499
Oh, you don't have
to say that ‐‐
468
00:17:22,544 --> 00:17:24,384
but I'll let you.
469
00:17:24,379 --> 00:17:25,839
No, it's true.
470
00:17:25,881 --> 00:17:27,341
You guys went broke,
471
00:17:27,382 --> 00:17:29,722
and you stay so positive.
472
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,890
It's like you don't even know
it's happening.
473
00:17:31,928 --> 00:17:35,218
You do know it's happening,
right?
474
00:17:35,223 --> 00:17:36,563
[ Laughing ]
Oh, Rebecca.
475
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,560
I'm gonna miss you.
476
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,230
[ Laughs ]
477
00:17:40,228 --> 00:17:41,728
I'm gonna miss you, too.
478
00:17:41,772 --> 00:17:44,522
But it's for the best.
479
00:17:44,566 --> 00:17:46,856
Yeah.
It's for the best.
480
00:17:48,403 --> 00:17:50,573
I think.
481
00:17:50,572 --> 00:17:51,652
You think?
482
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,664
Yeah, yeah.
483
00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:56,327
No, i‐it's ‐‐
it's for the best.
484
00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:57,617
Right?
485
00:18:03,490 --> 00:18:05,460
You know,
my parents are moving out,
486
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,670
my sister just
embarrassed herself
487
00:18:08,712 --> 00:18:11,012
by tongue blasting
our cousin.
488
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:13,928
[ Laughs ] Some days,
life is beautiful.
489
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:16,258
Yeah, well...
490
00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:17,513
I can't thank you enough
491
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,853
for hosting another
terrible event.
492
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,849
But I gotta jet,
literally.
493
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:23,352
My flight is
in three hours,
494
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:26,362
and I still got to pick up
my bogus therapy pig
495
00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:28,267
so I can get
the extra leg room.
496
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:30,025
Uncle Art, don't go.
497
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,357
Deb has something to say.
498
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:36,372
Arty, I so appreciate
your generosity,
499
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:37,695
but we decided,
500
00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:39,951
we don't want
the house in Florida.
501
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:41,914
[ Laughs ] Who's "we,"
'cause I feel like
502
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:44,002
I should've been looped
into this conversation.
503
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:45,919
Rebecca and I.
504
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,038
We're just not ready
for this!
505
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,455
Rebecca...
what's happening?
506
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:50,383
What are you ‐‐
What are you doing?
507
00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:51,551
What are you saying?
508
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,797
Dave, I'm an only child.
509
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:57,301
I've never lived in a house
this full of family.
510
00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:58,724
I love it.
511
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:01,562
Let's just wait for a solution
that's more local.
512
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:03,559
Yes, local. Local.
No, no, no, no.
513
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:04,229
Baby, no.
514
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:06,396
Davey is right.
Thank you.
515
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,515
We will see each other
sometimes.
516
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,574
[ Voice breaking ] We'll call
each other on the phone.
517
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,066
I mean,
it won't be the same.
518
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:12,939
It won't be.
519
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,065
I don't got it.
I don't want to go.
520
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:17,740
I don't want to go.
Would you please hurry
with this decision?
521
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:20,330
Because my piglet is waiting,
and unlike me,
522
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:21,737
he's an anxious flyer.
523
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:24,374
Okay. [Scoffs]
Listen, guys.
524
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:26,123
I know this
will be hard.
525
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,915
Obviously, there is stuff
that I will miss, too, you know?
526
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:33,420
Like coming into the kitchen
and finding my father pantless.
527
00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:35,424
Well, Sunday mornings,
me and mimosas ‐‐
528
00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:37,756
both bottomless.
529
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,850
Yeah, you know,
this is hard for me, too.
530
00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:42,597
I‐I've never lived
more than 2 miles from you guys,
531
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,560
and for the last couple months,
it's been two minutes.
532
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:48,941
But we all agree,
this is the right thing to do.
533
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:51,859
But it's just so hard.
534
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,359
I can't stand it.
535
00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:57,111
Very comfortable here,
and the rent is next to nothing.
536
00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:58,362
[ Sighs heavily ]
537
00:19:58,405 --> 00:20:00,365
Alright, alright, alright!
That's it!
538
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:02,027
None of you want this.
539
00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:05,496
I have been st‐‐
I want this so bad!
540
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:07,497
Dave, the house
541
00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:08,619
is off the table.
542
00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:11,536
What about your legacy, Art?
What about giving back?
543
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:14,375
I'm giving back
544
00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:16,471
by not giving you
the house.
545
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,465
That's how I'll give,
546
00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:19,639
by taking.
547
00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:21,597
That's my legacy!
548
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:25,813
[ Sighs ]
549
00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:27,389
So, I guess, uh...
550
00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:28,484
This means that ‐‐
551
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:29,649
You're staying here?
552
00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:31,437
We can stay
with our children.
553
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,980
Oh, that's what
we really wanted,
554
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:36,493
deep down, huh?
Hey! [ Laughs ]
555
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:37,987
Yeah. Is it?
556
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:40,487
Aww!
[ Laughter ]
557
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:41,819
Hey!
558
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:44,164
♪♪♪
559
00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:48,041
Well, it all worked out
in the end.
560
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,748
No, it did not.
[ Chuckles ]
561
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:51,831
You guys didn't
get a house,
562
00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:55,085
and Joanna made out
with our cousin.
563
00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:57,589
[ Chuckling ]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
564
00:20:57,631 --> 00:21:02,011
But is it not, in a way,
exactly the kind of crazy story
565
00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:04,851
that people can tell about me
at my shiva?
566
00:21:04,888 --> 00:21:08,018
You know,
like Aunt Judith's fun stories?
567
00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:09,437
Read my lips ‐‐
568
00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:11,186
no one is ever gonna speak
of that again.
569
00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:13,016
Yeah.
Profoundly disturbing.
570
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:15,613
Rebecca: So weird.
Oh, a toast.
571
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:18,029
To family staying close.
572
00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:20,197
But not as close
as Joanna
573
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:21,107
and her cousin Maggie.
574
00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:22,445
Hey‐oh!
Hey‐oh!
575
00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:23,199
Hey‐oh!
576
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,620
Hello, family.
[ Pig squeals ]
577
00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:26,538
We missed our flight.
578
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:27,947
Got to stay here tonight.
579
00:21:27,995 --> 00:21:29,655
Dave, Rebecca,
580
00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:31,035
I'll take your room.
37455
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