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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:39,699 --> 00:01:43,807 Egbert Souse? Why, isn't that an odd name? 2 00:01:43,869 --> 00:01:47,877 lt isn't pronounced ''Souse.'' Accent grave over the ''e.'' 3 00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:52,149 Egbert Sous�. Oh, l see. 4 00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,918 [ Banging ] 5 00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:59,555 What's he up to now? What is he up to? 6 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,960 Your guess is as good as mine, Ma. l never know what to expect next. 7 00:02:03,024 --> 00:02:06,196 l bet anything he's smoking up in his room again! 8 00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:09,767 This time, Agatha, you've got to just tell him to stop! 9 00:02:09,832 --> 00:02:12,671 His smokin' gave me asthma. Oh, Ma! 10 00:02:12,734 --> 00:02:16,875 lf he don't, l'm going on the county. Ma! 11 00:02:16,938 --> 00:02:20,111 lmagine a man tying to take care of his family... 12 00:02:20,175 --> 00:02:24,717 by going to theater bank nights, working puzzle contests and suggesting slogans. 13 00:02:24,781 --> 00:02:27,786 [ Phone Ringing ] Telephone's ringing! 14 00:02:27,851 --> 00:02:31,023 Don't answer it, Elsie Mae. It's probably the LaCavas wanting their lawn mower back. 15 00:02:31,086 --> 00:02:34,293 We're not finished with it yet. [ Ringing ] 16 00:02:34,356 --> 00:02:36,761 Hello, daughter. Hello. 17 00:02:36,827 --> 00:02:38,764 Hello, Myrtle. Hello. 18 00:02:38,829 --> 00:02:40,632 Hello. Hello. 19 00:02:40,698 --> 00:02:44,237 Agatha, this time you've just got to tell him! 20 00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:49,110 l just can't stand it! It's just a lingering death. 21 00:02:49,172 --> 00:02:52,279 lf you don't, l will go on the county! 22 00:02:52,343 --> 00:02:54,980 [ Sobbing ] 23 00:02:55,045 --> 00:02:57,382 What's eatin' you? 24 00:02:57,449 --> 00:03:01,756 My Sunday school teacher, Mr. Stackhouse, told me... 25 00:03:01,820 --> 00:03:06,696 that he saw my father coming out ofa saloon the other day... 26 00:03:06,758 --> 00:03:11,767 and that Dad was smoking a pipe! 27 00:03:13,131 --> 00:03:15,502 Oh, l'll kill myself 28 00:03:15,567 --> 00:03:18,506 [ Mumbling ] What's the matter with her? 29 00:03:18,570 --> 00:03:20,875 l'll starve myself to death. 30 00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:26,016 lt's the easiest way out. It's not so difficult to do. 31 00:03:26,078 --> 00:03:30,052 l tried it yesterday afternoon. [Knocking] 32 00:03:30,116 --> 00:03:34,524 Oh, that must be Og. Will you excuse me? 33 00:03:36,055 --> 00:03:39,295 - Nice potatoes. - Thank you. 34 00:03:39,359 --> 00:03:41,529 Why don't we get any more crumpets? 35 00:03:41,595 --> 00:03:45,202 [ Ma ] Smoking and drinking! 36 00:03:45,265 --> 00:03:48,805 And reading those infernal detective stories! 37 00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:51,542 House just smells of liquor and smoke. 38 00:03:51,605 --> 00:03:53,609 There he goes again, down to the saloon... 39 00:03:53,675 --> 00:03:57,081 to read that silly detective magazine! 40 00:03:57,145 --> 00:04:00,885 Mother's right. You've been smokin' again in your room. 41 00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:02,887 Oh! 42 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,326 Aah! [ Groaning ] 43 00:04:13,529 --> 00:04:18,907 lmagine the man who takes money out of a child's piggy bank, puts in l.O.U s. 44 00:04:20,737 --> 00:04:23,608 [ Screaming ] Don't you dare strike that child! 45 00:04:23,672 --> 00:04:25,575 You put that down! Put it down! 46 00:04:25,642 --> 00:04:28,848 Uh, Og, l'd like you to meet my father. 47 00:04:28,912 --> 00:04:32,219 Father, this is Og Oggilby. [ Chuckling ] 48 00:04:32,282 --> 00:04:34,251 Og Oggilby. 49 00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:38,024 Sounds like a bubble in a bathtub. 50 00:04:38,088 --> 00:04:41,594 l'm glad to have met ya! Mighty glad to have met you. 51 00:04:41,659 --> 00:04:44,866 Your father seems awfully nice. 52 00:04:44,929 --> 00:04:47,869 Yes, we think so. 53 00:04:58,910 --> 00:05:02,149 What seems to be the trouble? 54 00:05:04,016 --> 00:05:07,456 Are you carrying the proper amount of air in the tires? 55 00:05:07,519 --> 00:05:11,660 Uh, had the brakes tested lately? 56 00:05:16,194 --> 00:05:18,599 Course, it may be the wheelbase. 57 00:05:18,664 --> 00:05:21,436 [ Crashing ] 58 00:05:23,002 --> 00:05:26,377 Those are tools. Why don't you go away and mind your own business? 59 00:05:26,439 --> 00:05:28,977 Listen to the gentleman attentively,James. 60 00:05:29,043 --> 00:05:32,817 Be polite. [ Egbert ] Thank you, madam. 61 00:05:32,879 --> 00:05:35,518 Give me a shift expander. l'll fix it. 62 00:05:35,581 --> 00:05:37,519 A what? Monkeywrench. 63 00:05:37,584 --> 00:05:41,592 Give the gentleman what he asks for,James. 64 00:05:42,724 --> 00:05:45,562 Aah! Ohh! 65 00:05:50,031 --> 00:05:54,440 Here's all you gotta do. Just open up this nut here. 66 00:05:55,503 --> 00:05:58,508 [ Grunting ] 67 00:05:58,573 --> 00:06:01,111 Uh-uh. 68 00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:07,317 ## [ Whistling ] 69 00:06:07,383 --> 00:06:12,059 l was down to Cape Cod most of... that year. 70 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:16,930 Say, you'll have to either Vaseline this place in here or move the post over. 71 00:06:16,993 --> 00:06:22,002 l had half interest in a cod-liver-oil mine down in Cape Cod. 72 00:06:22,065 --> 00:06:24,335 Snowed all winter. 73 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,738 We did a lot of boondoggling. 74 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,706 Did you ever boondoggle,Joe? 75 00:06:28,772 --> 00:06:32,146 No, l can't say that l have. 76 00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:35,547 These cloves are pretty dy. 77 00:06:35,613 --> 00:06:38,718 Better sprinkle them with alcohol. 78 00:06:42,252 --> 00:06:44,924 How do you do? 79 00:06:44,989 --> 00:06:49,131 Meet you up the Elk's Club several weeks ago? No. 80 00:06:49,193 --> 00:06:51,130 Never did, eh? 81 00:06:51,195 --> 00:06:53,666 Ever do any boondoggling? No. 82 00:06:53,731 --> 00:06:58,240 Give me a beer. Never have, eh? Mine's a poultice. 83 00:06:58,302 --> 00:07:02,911 Never done boondoggling. Must've been another fellow, l guess. 84 00:07:04,843 --> 00:07:08,317 Take off your hat in the presence of a gentleman. 85 00:07:09,314 --> 00:07:13,088 Well, here she goes. 86 00:07:13,153 --> 00:07:15,224 Down the hatch. 87 00:07:30,137 --> 00:07:32,040 [ Burps, Coughs ] 88 00:07:32,505 --> 00:07:35,011 But l tell you he's drunk, Q.Q. 89 00:07:35,075 --> 00:07:38,850 Said he had trouble with his wife. Yes. 90 00:07:38,913 --> 00:07:42,487 We have tried, but he isn't sober! 91 00:07:42,550 --> 00:07:44,488 The best l can? 92 00:07:44,553 --> 00:07:47,057 But you don't understand, Q.Q.! 93 00:07:47,122 --> 00:07:50,462 Hello? Hello? 94 00:07:52,527 --> 00:07:54,430 The best l can! 95 00:07:54,495 --> 00:07:57,368 Um, gimme a-- Good morning. 96 00:07:57,432 --> 00:07:59,369 Good morning. What can you give me for shattered nerves? 97 00:07:59,434 --> 00:08:01,371 l've got the jitters. 98 00:08:01,436 --> 00:08:04,141 Joe, if the gentleman has butterflies in his stomach, 99 00:08:04,207 --> 00:08:06,110 l suggest a dash of Rover. 100 00:08:06,176 --> 00:08:10,017 Rover? Uh, dog, absinthe. 101 00:08:11,681 --> 00:08:14,386 lt's very good for the nerves. 102 00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:17,055 That's fine. Thank you. 103 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:20,159 That's just what l needed. 104 00:08:21,692 --> 00:08:23,662 My name's Mackley Q. Greene. 105 00:08:23,727 --> 00:08:26,866 And a man more beset by trouble you'll ever see. Again. 106 00:08:26,930 --> 00:08:28,867 l'm here in Lompoc on a movie location. 107 00:08:28,932 --> 00:08:32,372 My director started on a bender, and that's always good for ten days. 108 00:08:32,436 --> 00:08:34,840 We've got a 36-hour schedule and a stinko script. 109 00:08:34,905 --> 00:08:38,412 lt's a bubke and opens in this vey town the day after tomorrow. 110 00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:42,550 Ah! Oh, you're yelling right down my alley! 111 00:08:42,614 --> 00:08:46,488 ln the old Sennett days l used to direct Fatty Arbuckle, 112 00:08:46,551 --> 00:08:50,325 Charlie Chaplan, Buster Keaton and the rest of'em. 113 00:08:50,388 --> 00:08:54,028 l can't get the celluloid outta my blood. 114 00:08:54,093 --> 00:08:57,299 Nights l used to tend bar. 115 00:08:57,362 --> 00:09:00,969 Would you entertain a proposition to direct this picture? 116 00:09:01,034 --> 00:09:04,240 Um-- Take a chance on a percentage of the profits basis? 117 00:09:04,303 --> 00:09:07,409 Um, um, yes. Just a moment. 118 00:09:07,473 --> 00:09:12,784 Uh, was l in here last night, and did l spend a $20 bill? 119 00:09:12,846 --> 00:09:15,151 Yeah! 120 00:09:15,215 --> 00:09:19,223 Oh, boy! What a load that is off my mind! 121 00:09:19,287 --> 00:09:21,691 l thought l'd lost it. 122 00:09:21,755 --> 00:09:24,193 Here you are. Keep the change. 123 00:09:24,258 --> 00:09:28,165 l've got a script l've had in mothballs for 20 years. 124 00:09:28,229 --> 00:09:33,907 l read it to Irving and Milton who run the Gem Cinema down here. 125 00:09:33,968 --> 00:09:36,940 They said to me, they said, ''Sous�, 126 00:09:37,004 --> 00:09:39,542 it's better than Gone With the Wind.'' 127 00:09:39,607 --> 00:09:43,348 My car's outside. Let's get down on the set. Okay. 128 00:09:45,214 --> 00:09:47,985 Uh, l'll bring the glasses back later. 129 00:09:50,552 --> 00:09:53,959 [ Indistinct Chattering ] 130 00:09:55,223 --> 00:09:58,563 Take a note, please. 131 00:09:58,627 --> 00:10:01,934 Oh, Mr. Clam, please. It's good for you. 132 00:10:01,997 --> 00:10:06,272 Still can't do a thing with him, Mr. Greene. He's tight as a snare drum. 133 00:10:06,336 --> 00:10:09,676 We won't bother anymore with him. Mr. Sous� will take over the direction. 134 00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:12,946 Oh, fine. Glad to meet you, Mr. Sous�. Glad to know you. 135 00:10:13,010 --> 00:10:14,913 Must've been a gnat. 136 00:10:17,247 --> 00:10:19,284 Here comes Francois and Miss Plupp. 137 00:10:28,525 --> 00:10:31,397 Oh, yeah. 138 00:10:31,462 --> 00:10:35,404 Ah. This is Miss Plupp, l take it. 139 00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:39,106 Yeah. And you are Francois? 140 00:10:39,170 --> 00:10:41,708 This is Mr. Sous�. He's taking over the direction of the picture. 141 00:10:41,773 --> 00:10:46,249 Did you sleep well last night? Oh, l-- 142 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:50,921 - Uh, maybe un peu? - Comme ci, comme �a. 143 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:56,027 l don't know whether this part is suited to my personality or not. 144 00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:59,728 Don't give it a thought. l've changed eveything. 145 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:03,466 lnstead of it being an English drawing-room drama, 146 00:11:03,529 --> 00:11:05,466 l've made it a circus picture. 147 00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:08,270 Dorothy, don't just sit there! Take down eveything he says. 148 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,473 Good morning, Mr. Greene. Aah! 149 00:11:10,536 --> 00:11:13,509 lt's Saturday afternoon. 150 00:11:13,572 --> 00:11:16,478 You make touchdown after touchdown. 151 00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:19,749 You kick goals. You make passes. 152 00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:24,924 You make the longest run with the ball that was ever made on the field. 153 00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:29,327 ln these clothes? Um, 154 00:11:29,391 --> 00:11:31,361 you could change your hat. 155 00:11:35,263 --> 00:11:39,305 Take it easy there. That's all right, Mr. Clam. Swell. Swell. 156 00:11:39,368 --> 00:11:42,607 Eveything's gonna be all right. Just take-- 157 00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:45,609 Uh, he sees you in the $50 seats. 158 00:11:45,674 --> 00:11:48,112 He immediately falls in love with ya. 159 00:11:48,178 --> 00:11:50,147 He can't take his eyes off ya. 160 00:11:50,212 --> 00:11:52,617 How can he play base-- Foot. 161 00:11:52,681 --> 00:11:57,958 ball, and watch me in the grandstand? It's part of the plot. 162 00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,926 Attaboy! 163 00:12:03,826 --> 00:12:07,868 Lift him up. That's swell. Now you're doin' good. 164 00:12:07,932 --> 00:12:12,707 We're playin' the thing very digni-- fied. 165 00:12:12,769 --> 00:12:15,708 Uh, service, please. 166 00:12:17,842 --> 00:12:20,414 - Come on, boys. Come on. - Ahh! 167 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:24,518 [ Car Horn Honking ] 168 00:12:29,753 --> 00:12:33,360 lt's him! For the love of Pete! 169 00:12:33,426 --> 00:12:35,462 Attention. 170 00:12:37,095 --> 00:12:39,232 Ah, we'll just walk through this thing. 171 00:12:39,297 --> 00:12:43,239 Take it, Miss Plupp, where you come down out of the grandstand. 172 00:12:43,302 --> 00:12:45,239 He makes me sick! 173 00:12:45,303 --> 00:12:48,510 Shall l bounce a rock off his head? Respect your father. 174 00:12:48,573 --> 00:12:50,577 What kind of a rock? Oh, shut up! 175 00:12:50,642 --> 00:12:54,317 You're both madly in love with each other. 176 00:12:54,381 --> 00:12:56,383 Embrace. 177 00:12:59,286 --> 00:13:02,726 ls she standing in a hole? No, sir. 178 00:13:02,789 --> 00:13:04,591 Go ahead. Read your lines. 179 00:13:06,860 --> 00:13:09,698 When does this thing stop? It's all right. 180 00:13:09,763 --> 00:13:11,934 You're doing all right. 181 00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:14,437 lce cream. Got any cigars, kid? You know the brand. 182 00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:17,006 We're making motion-picture histoy here. 183 00:13:17,070 --> 00:13:20,777 l want quiet! Quiet from eveybody! 184 00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:24,449 Ooh! [ Groaning ] 185 00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,383 Pa is drunk again! 186 00:13:30,752 --> 00:13:33,089 Cut that out. Take your dirty hands off me! 187 00:13:33,155 --> 00:13:35,726 Get back to your places. 188 00:13:38,562 --> 00:13:40,531 Here. 189 00:13:40,595 --> 00:13:45,171 Give this, uh, that number seven expression. 190 00:13:45,234 --> 00:13:47,872 ''Those eyes! Those ears!'' 191 00:13:47,937 --> 00:13:50,208 l wanna be in the picture. 192 00:13:51,941 --> 00:13:54,613 Uh, l'll put you in later on, dear. 193 00:13:54,677 --> 00:13:56,848 Uh, ''Give me all--'' 194 00:13:56,912 --> 00:13:59,917 What's the matter, Pop? Don't you love me? 195 00:13:59,983 --> 00:14:02,688 Sure, l love ya! Don't you dare strike that child. 196 00:14:02,752 --> 00:14:05,424 Ah, she's not gonna tell me l don't love her. 197 00:14:05,489 --> 00:14:08,661 [ Egbert ] ''Those eyes.'' [ francois ] Those eyes. 198 00:14:08,725 --> 00:14:11,497 Those ears! 199 00:14:11,562 --> 00:14:13,666 That nose! 200 00:14:13,730 --> 00:14:17,204 Oh, Godfrey Daniel! 201 00:14:17,268 --> 00:14:20,540 Mother-of-pearl! 202 00:14:20,606 --> 00:14:23,678 The child is only playing with you, you fool. 203 00:14:23,741 --> 00:14:27,515 Mmm, l don't understand her funning. 204 00:14:27,579 --> 00:14:29,550 Let's, uh-- 205 00:14:32,683 --> 00:14:35,121 [ Egbert ] Uh, now to continue. 206 00:14:35,187 --> 00:14:37,624 ''Those eye--'' 207 00:14:41,628 --> 00:14:44,500 ## [Joe Whistling ] Um, thanks. 208 00:14:44,564 --> 00:14:47,837 Oh, uh, study that script. Say,Joe. 209 00:14:47,899 --> 00:14:52,376 Mr. Sous�! Mr. Sous�! How do you like that? 210 00:14:52,438 --> 00:14:56,747 Mr. Greene, you haven't another thing to worry about. 211 00:14:56,809 --> 00:15:01,351 l'm perfectly okay. [ Hiccups ] You look it. 212 00:15:02,983 --> 00:15:05,587 ## [ Whistling ] 213 00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:10,795 Getting quite late. It is, isn't it? 214 00:15:10,858 --> 00:15:14,098 See you're still at it. Serves ya right. 215 00:15:14,161 --> 00:15:18,270 - Be courteous,James. - Yes, ma'am. 216 00:15:24,139 --> 00:15:27,211 We'll leave the motor running. Come on. 217 00:15:35,818 --> 00:15:38,723 Pass over all that dough and do it quietly. 218 00:15:38,788 --> 00:15:42,227 lmagine a guy parking his car in front of a ''no parking'' sign with the engine runnin'! 219 00:15:42,292 --> 00:15:45,698 A two buck fine'll do him a lot of good. Let's take it to headquarters. 220 00:15:46,996 --> 00:15:50,470 Don't forget to keep your foot off that alarm. 221 00:15:53,270 --> 00:15:56,442 Somebody must've nailed the car. Let's take it on the lam. 222 00:15:58,041 --> 00:16:01,714 [Alarm Ringing ] Help! Help! Police! Help! 223 00:16:01,778 --> 00:16:03,781 Help! Police! Robbery! Help! 224 00:16:03,847 --> 00:16:05,817 Come on! Help! Police! Help! 225 00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:09,556 Help! Help! Police! Robbey! 226 00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:12,092 Did you see them? They went down that alley. 227 00:16:12,156 --> 00:16:14,159 Let's cut that money up right now. Let's keep goin'. 228 00:16:14,225 --> 00:16:16,163 Supposin' we get split up? What of it? 229 00:16:16,227 --> 00:16:18,632 How much money you got? Start countin'. No. 230 00:16:18,697 --> 00:16:21,936 Don't you trust me? l don't trust nobody, not even my mother. 231 00:16:21,999 --> 00:16:25,239 Give me my end of that. Turn loose of me, will ya? 232 00:16:26,538 --> 00:16:29,845 Bank robbers, two of'em! They went down this alley. 233 00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:37,654 ''Out to tea.Joe.'' He'll be drinkin' sarsaparilla next. 234 00:16:39,952 --> 00:16:42,758 Gimme half of that dough. l will not! 235 00:16:47,927 --> 00:16:50,999 [ Siren Wailing ] 236 00:16:51,064 --> 00:16:55,673 [ Honking ] 237 00:16:55,736 --> 00:16:58,541 Must be another hold up somewhere nears. 238 00:16:58,606 --> 00:17:01,177 [ Honking Continues ] 239 00:17:14,523 --> 00:17:16,493 There they are! 240 00:17:17,992 --> 00:17:20,798 Grab him while l put these on. That's not one of the crooks. 241 00:17:20,862 --> 00:17:25,570 That's Mr. Sous�. Yeah, Sous�. Accent grave over the ''e.'' 242 00:17:25,635 --> 00:17:28,239 Fine job, Mr. Sous�, apprehending this desperado... 243 00:17:28,303 --> 00:17:31,076 and retrieving the bank's funds. What? 244 00:17:31,140 --> 00:17:34,079 You saved the $50,OOO. That's the most important part! 245 00:17:34,143 --> 00:17:36,447 Yeah, 50,OOO ain't hay, no. 246 00:17:36,512 --> 00:17:40,254 Those fellows got away, huh? What happened? Uh, yes. 247 00:17:40,316 --> 00:17:43,755 Yes, he got away. Pulled a knife on me that long! 248 00:17:43,821 --> 00:17:46,058 An assegai. [ Policeman ] Lucky you had that revolver. 249 00:17:46,122 --> 00:17:49,161 You always carry it with you? Ooh, take this. 250 00:17:49,226 --> 00:17:51,863 We detectives gotta do those things. 251 00:17:51,929 --> 00:17:54,500 Never know when you're gonna catch a couple bank robbers. 252 00:17:54,565 --> 00:17:58,205 l know Mr. Skinner would like to thank you personally after what's just happened. 253 00:17:58,268 --> 00:18:01,608 Drop into the bank. l will. l'll go down and tell him all about it. 254 00:18:01,672 --> 00:18:04,879 Which way did the other fellow go? The other fellow? 255 00:18:04,943 --> 00:18:07,647 He went away. Away where? 256 00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,682 Look out! Look out there! 257 00:18:09,747 --> 00:18:13,053 l'll give 'im a punch in the nose. 258 00:18:13,117 --> 00:18:15,387 See those handcuffs are on tight, will ya? 259 00:18:15,453 --> 00:18:18,158 Come to headquarters and identify this guy. Okay. 260 00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:20,161 l'll break evey bone in his head. 261 00:18:20,226 --> 00:18:25,268 Myrtle should be proud to have a father like you. l guess she is. 262 00:18:25,331 --> 00:18:28,336 No wonder after a thing like that. 263 00:18:29,602 --> 00:18:32,207 Elsie Mae Adele Brunch Sous�'s father... 264 00:18:32,271 --> 00:18:36,981 just caught a burglar, and he tried to cut his throat with a knife this long! 265 00:18:37,042 --> 00:18:39,045 Yeah. 266 00:18:39,111 --> 00:18:41,749 [ Boy ] And he had a gun about this big! 267 00:18:41,815 --> 00:18:45,622 You don't say! Did you kill him with one bullet, Mr. Sous�? 268 00:18:45,686 --> 00:18:48,457 Mm-hmm. Ooh. 269 00:18:48,521 --> 00:18:52,196 Jiminy. You're pretty good. Jiminy! Boy! 270 00:18:52,259 --> 00:18:55,132 One or two bullets l don't know. l was so busy shooting him. 271 00:18:55,196 --> 00:18:57,833 - That's the way l catch burglars. - Do another. 272 00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:00,504 Oh, boy! Ooh! 273 00:19:00,569 --> 00:19:03,240 Will you teach me? That's swell. 274 00:19:03,304 --> 00:19:05,241 l'll teach you when you grow up. 275 00:19:05,306 --> 00:19:08,846 l never smoked a cigarette till l was nine. 276 00:19:13,315 --> 00:19:16,320 Sign my autograph book, Mr. Souse? Ah, Sous�, son. 277 00:19:16,385 --> 00:19:21,194 Accent grave over the ''e.'' Sous�. There's the accent. 278 00:19:21,256 --> 00:19:23,259 l saw ya through the window. Did ya? 279 00:19:23,325 --> 00:19:26,564 A knife four feet long, eh? l'll say! 280 00:19:26,629 --> 00:19:31,538 The sword Lee surrendered to Grant was a potato peeler by comparison. 281 00:19:31,601 --> 00:19:34,172 You better come in and have a little poultice on the house. 282 00:19:34,237 --> 00:19:36,341 l don't mind if l do. 283 00:19:40,844 --> 00:19:43,415 [ Reporter ] Mr. Sous�? Yeah? 284 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:46,819 Here's the interview you gave me for my paper. Look it over and see if it's correct. 285 00:19:46,884 --> 00:19:51,493 Oh, thanks. l'll peruse it instanta 286 00:19:51,555 --> 00:19:54,360 Oh, yes. ''Skinner's National Bank robbed. 287 00:19:54,425 --> 00:19:57,965 ''Egbert Sous� makes daring and heroic effort-- 288 00:19:58,028 --> 00:20:00,700 - [ Car Horn Honking ] - Hey, you! 289 00:20:00,765 --> 00:20:05,875 ''...of Loudmouth McNasty, alias the Wildcat. 290 00:20:05,937 --> 00:20:11,683 ''Drawing his revolver, which he carries for such emergencies, 291 00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:14,348 he struck McNasty--'' 292 00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:20,057 [ Coughs ] You see, putting things like that on motor cars is what kills people. 293 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:23,391 - [ Honks ] - Get outta there! 294 00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,660 ''For such emergencies--'' 295 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:44,546 The Lompoc Picayune Intelligencer... 296 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:49,153 just got out a special edition telling how l apprehended them two crooks. 297 00:20:49,216 --> 00:20:52,856 For heaven's sake, Egbert, can't you see we're playin' an interesting game? 298 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:58,231 There was an article in there telling how l apprehended a couple of crooks... 299 00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:03,268 who stole $2 million from Skinner's Lompoc Bank. 300 00:21:03,331 --> 00:21:06,336 You would! Skinner's Lompoc Bank! 301 00:21:06,401 --> 00:21:09,340 Them's the shylocks that's got the mortgage on this house, ain't they? 302 00:21:09,404 --> 00:21:12,878 They're haunting you from morning till night, the old pinchpennies! 303 00:21:12,941 --> 00:21:16,715 Why don't you move-- l'm sorry they didn't get away with the bank. 304 00:21:16,780 --> 00:21:19,317 Leave it to him! He would do a thing like that! 305 00:21:19,381 --> 00:21:23,255 Um, l think l'll go up to my room for a moment. 306 00:21:23,319 --> 00:21:28,162 They want me to come down to the bank to get a reward, or a job or something. 307 00:21:28,224 --> 00:21:30,361 l'll go down in the morning. 308 00:21:31,628 --> 00:21:33,698 Don't you smoke up in your room. 309 00:21:33,763 --> 00:21:36,135 Oh, no, l won't, dear. 310 00:21:39,135 --> 00:21:41,540 What am l doing? 311 00:21:44,475 --> 00:21:46,412 Hello, Og. Hello, honey. 312 00:21:46,477 --> 00:21:48,948 That was a great stunt your father pulled. Huh? 313 00:21:49,013 --> 00:21:53,723 Two crooks stole $25,OOO. l never knew your father had so much intestinal fortitude. 314 00:21:53,785 --> 00:21:55,722 Are you kidding? No! 315 00:21:55,786 --> 00:21:58,258 Come on. Let's talk about us, dear. 316 00:21:58,323 --> 00:22:02,431 Your father took his pistol and hit one of the fellows over the head. He hasn't got a pistol. 317 00:22:02,494 --> 00:22:06,802 The paper said your father took a double-edged assegai from one of the fellas. 318 00:22:06,865 --> 00:22:08,802 A whats-agai? An assegai, a sword. 319 00:22:08,868 --> 00:22:11,472 Where did the newspapers get the stoy? From your father. 320 00:22:11,536 --> 00:22:14,074 He admitted the whole thing to the police. Oh! 321 00:22:14,139 --> 00:22:16,644 Let's talk about us, Og. 322 00:22:18,210 --> 00:22:21,450 Well, l get my bonus pretty soon, 323 00:22:21,514 --> 00:22:23,985 and l've already picked out your engagement ring. 324 00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:27,791 Oh. Ah, Oggie. 325 00:22:29,288 --> 00:22:32,928 Ah! Oh, golly. Mmm. 326 00:22:36,462 --> 00:22:38,399 Shucks. 327 00:22:42,569 --> 00:22:44,941 l have an appointment with Mr. Skinner, president of the bank. 328 00:22:45,006 --> 00:22:48,178 Step to one side, please. Yes. Thank you. 329 00:22:49,711 --> 00:22:52,182 Thank you, Miss Carroll. 330 00:22:52,246 --> 00:22:57,857 l had an appointment with Mr. Skinner, the-- Please, just one side. 331 00:22:59,287 --> 00:23:01,691 Oh. 332 00:23:01,757 --> 00:23:04,562 Here, sir. There you are. 333 00:23:04,627 --> 00:23:08,401 l, uh-- The president-- Please, will you step to one side. 334 00:23:08,463 --> 00:23:11,069 Just a moment. 335 00:23:11,133 --> 00:23:13,638 Nice weather we're having. Yes, it is. 336 00:23:13,703 --> 00:23:15,640 Yes. Clever observation. 337 00:23:15,704 --> 00:23:18,209 How have you been, Mr. Penny? Fine, thank you. 338 00:23:18,274 --> 00:23:20,479 That's good. That's vey interesting. 339 00:23:20,544 --> 00:23:22,481 Uh, l-- 340 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,417 Oh. 341 00:23:30,687 --> 00:23:32,758 How do you do? Oh, yeah. 342 00:23:32,822 --> 00:23:34,860 How do you do? Oh, how are you, sir? 343 00:23:34,926 --> 00:23:39,301 Well as can be expected after that tussle l put up with those two bandits. 344 00:23:39,362 --> 00:23:42,235 Oh, yes. Yeah, l went to see the doctor, 345 00:23:42,300 --> 00:23:45,740 and he says as result of that scrap, l'll probably have to have... 346 00:23:45,803 --> 00:23:49,443 a kidney and my gall bladder removed. Tsk, tsk. 347 00:23:49,508 --> 00:23:53,481 He said l also may need an appendectomy. 348 00:23:53,544 --> 00:23:56,116 l saw young Oggilby. He told me to see the president. 349 00:23:56,181 --> 00:23:58,719 Oh, yes. Will you step aside, please. Huh? 350 00:23:58,784 --> 00:24:00,821 Just step to one side. 351 00:24:00,886 --> 00:24:03,023 Ahh! Thank you. 352 00:24:03,089 --> 00:24:05,026 Good mornin', sir. How are you? 353 00:24:05,091 --> 00:24:07,127 l wanna draw my money outta the bank. 354 00:24:07,193 --> 00:24:10,667 - You're not gonna close your account with us, are you? - l sure is! 355 00:24:10,730 --> 00:24:14,436 - Is there any particular reason? - Yes, sir. l'm scared! 356 00:24:14,500 --> 00:24:17,706 Evey time l come in here, you got your hat on. 357 00:24:17,770 --> 00:24:21,344 Look like you gettin' ready to take off. It keeps me nervous. 358 00:24:21,407 --> 00:24:25,248 Oh, l just wear this hat on account of a little hay fever. 359 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,884 Excuse me. That's all right. 360 00:24:28,949 --> 00:24:31,754 l haven't any right standing in front of the hole. 361 00:24:31,819 --> 00:24:34,591 Where's his office? Is he in? Oh, no, oh-- 362 00:24:34,655 --> 00:24:37,360 Mr. Skinner's office is right over there. Yes, right over there. 363 00:24:38,826 --> 00:24:41,398 Good morning, Mr. Sous�. Good morning. Good morning. 364 00:24:41,462 --> 00:24:45,570 Mr. Skinner's expecting you. Is he? Thanks vey much. l'll go right in. 365 00:24:45,633 --> 00:24:50,377 We want to show our appreciation of your gallanty and daring. Thank you. 366 00:24:50,438 --> 00:24:53,977 l wish to personally give you a hearty handclasp. 367 00:24:54,042 --> 00:24:57,482 Oh, thanks. Hearty handclasp, yes. 368 00:24:57,545 --> 00:25:00,885 And to present you with the company's compliments... 369 00:25:00,950 --> 00:25:03,889 one of our 1 940 calendars 370 00:25:03,953 --> 00:25:06,058 made especially for this bank, 371 00:25:06,122 --> 00:25:09,529 entitled ''Spring in Lompoc.'' 372 00:25:09,592 --> 00:25:14,401 Oh! Doesn't look unlike the Mona Lisa. 373 00:25:14,463 --> 00:25:16,533 - Won't you be seated? - Oh, thanks. 374 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,706 l've been in consultation with our director and we've decided that what's been needed... 375 00:25:19,769 --> 00:25:23,177 in this bank for a long time is a special officer. Oh,yes. 376 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:27,381 Or to revert to the argot of the underworld, a ''bank dick.'' Oh, yeah. 377 00:25:27,444 --> 00:25:30,984 ln lieu of your heroism, your valiant dauntless courage, 378 00:25:31,049 --> 00:25:33,988 l have the honor to offer you this position. Oh, thank you. 379 00:25:34,052 --> 00:25:36,123 The remuneration at first will be small. 380 00:25:36,187 --> 00:25:38,959 We're a growing concern. We're young. Yes, yes. 381 00:25:39,023 --> 00:25:41,862 But there are many chances for advancement. Who knows? 382 00:25:41,926 --> 00:25:45,533 Within a short time, you may become my vice president. 383 00:25:45,596 --> 00:25:48,101 Oh! My first and only vice. 384 00:25:49,301 --> 00:25:51,838 Very good, very-- 385 00:25:51,904 --> 00:25:55,111 What time in the morning? The bank opens at 1 O:OO. 386 00:25:55,174 --> 00:25:57,345 Oh. Well, that's all right. 387 00:25:57,409 --> 00:26:02,919 lf l'm not here on time, just go right ahead without me. l'll catch up with ya. 388 00:26:02,982 --> 00:26:06,588 And, oh, yes. We will deduct a certain amount from your salay each week... 389 00:26:06,652 --> 00:26:09,724 Uh-oh. to pay off the interest of the mortgage on your home. 390 00:26:09,789 --> 00:26:12,561 Yes, yes. Otherwise it would necessitate our foreclosing. 391 00:26:12,625 --> 00:26:16,899 ln view of what has transpired, that would cause us heartfelt contrition. 392 00:26:16,963 --> 00:26:20,737 Ah, you took the very words right outta my mouth. 393 00:26:21,935 --> 00:26:23,772 l'll see you here Monday then, 394 00:26:23,837 --> 00:26:28,446 and l'll bring my detective disguises with me. 395 00:26:29,710 --> 00:26:31,647 Oh. 396 00:26:35,950 --> 00:26:38,388 Og. Listen, Og, 397 00:26:38,452 --> 00:26:41,724 there's more to this detective business than meets the eye. 398 00:26:41,790 --> 00:26:44,829 lt requires cunning and resourcefulness, 399 00:26:44,893 --> 00:26:47,097 and l have both. 400 00:26:47,162 --> 00:26:50,401 l have a thousand disguises at home. 401 00:26:50,465 --> 00:26:55,341 l'll come in with one of those disguises on. If you recognize me,you go-- 402 00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:01,781 Like this? Not up high. It's too blatant. Go down there. 403 00:27:01,843 --> 00:27:03,914 Just give me a little one, like that. 404 00:27:03,980 --> 00:27:07,287 lf you don't recognize me, go, uh-- 405 00:27:07,351 --> 00:27:10,825 Well, if you don't recognize me, you won't know what to do. 406 00:27:10,888 --> 00:27:13,626 And you won't recognize me. 407 00:27:13,689 --> 00:27:16,929 Now, l'll be in here later. 408 00:27:39,951 --> 00:27:42,623 You gotta keep in practice in this game. 409 00:27:42,687 --> 00:27:44,690 You never know when you're gonna... 410 00:27:46,225 --> 00:27:48,563 have to use your gun. 411 00:27:48,626 --> 00:27:51,566 l really have a reason for a snort this morning. 412 00:27:51,630 --> 00:27:55,304 After that bout l put up with those two crooks 413 00:27:55,368 --> 00:27:58,073 l'm still arm weary. 414 00:27:58,137 --> 00:28:02,379 The president of the bank called me in. He says, ''Sous�.'' 415 00:28:02,442 --> 00:28:04,646 l says, ''Yes.'' 416 00:28:04,710 --> 00:28:07,883 He says, ''l want you down here for our bank dick. 417 00:28:07,948 --> 00:28:10,253 We've wanted a bank dick fora long while.'' 418 00:28:10,317 --> 00:28:12,989 He says, ''ln your Christmas box... 419 00:28:13,053 --> 00:28:16,660 will, in all probability, be the vice presidency ofthis bank.'' 420 00:28:16,723 --> 00:28:18,994 [Ioe ] What'll it be? 421 00:28:19,059 --> 00:28:21,965 A depth bomb. 422 00:28:24,831 --> 00:28:27,637 ## [ Humming ] 423 00:28:29,837 --> 00:28:32,375 Keep your hat off there. 424 00:28:42,317 --> 00:28:45,756 ## [ Whistling ] 425 00:28:50,659 --> 00:28:52,930 Very tasty. l think l'll have another one. 426 00:28:52,995 --> 00:28:55,534 ## [ Humming ] 427 00:28:55,598 --> 00:28:58,669 Um, some fresh water. 428 00:29:02,906 --> 00:29:05,543 And a towel, thankyou. 429 00:29:05,608 --> 00:29:09,314 Never like to bathe in the same water twice. 430 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:13,820 Neat little trick, isn't it? 431 00:29:13,883 --> 00:29:17,658 Pardon me. l couldn't help overhearing your conversation. 432 00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:21,561 Oh, pardon me. Pardon me. It's quite all right. 433 00:29:21,625 --> 00:29:24,229 Waterbuy's my name. J. Frothingham Waterbuy. 434 00:29:24,296 --> 00:29:27,435 Thank you. Very glad to know you. My name's Sous�. 435 00:29:27,499 --> 00:29:30,071 How do you do, Mr. Sous�? Accent the grave over the ''e.'' 436 00:29:30,135 --> 00:29:33,741 Oh, so? l'm in the bond and stock business. Oh,yeah. 437 00:29:33,805 --> 00:29:36,644 l have 5,OOO shares of the Beefsteak Mines in Leapfrog, Nevada... 438 00:29:36,708 --> 00:29:38,812 that l want to turn over to your bank. Yeah? 439 00:29:38,877 --> 00:29:43,019 l like this town. l want to get some contacts, and l think you're the man. 440 00:29:43,082 --> 00:29:46,889 These shares are selling for ten cents a share, and, uh-- 441 00:29:46,953 --> 00:29:49,992 [ Squealing ] 442 00:29:52,757 --> 00:29:55,630 Ten cents cash? That's okay. Oh, that's terrible! 443 00:29:55,695 --> 00:29:58,466 These shares are selling for ten cents a share. Yeah? 444 00:29:58,532 --> 00:30:01,537 A telephone company once sold for five cents a share! Five cents! 445 00:30:01,602 --> 00:30:05,776 These shares are twice as expensive; therefore, they'll be twice as valuable. 446 00:30:05,839 --> 00:30:08,376 Sure they will. Oh, no. Naturally, you're no dunce. 447 00:30:08,442 --> 00:30:12,283 The telephone is now listed at $1 .73, and you can't buy it. 448 00:30:12,347 --> 00:30:17,758 $1 .73. $3,460 for evey nickel you put into it. 449 00:30:17,819 --> 00:30:21,158 The point l'm trying to make is this. 450 00:30:21,222 --> 00:30:23,392 Huh? The point l'm trying to make is: 451 00:30:23,459 --> 00:30:26,865 These shares sell for ten cents. It's simple arithmetic. 452 00:30:26,928 --> 00:30:30,034 If five'll get you ten, ten'll get you twenty. Sure. 453 00:30:30,098 --> 00:30:35,476 Sixteen-cylinder cars. A big home in the city, balconies upstairs and down. 454 00:30:35,537 --> 00:30:38,809 A home in the country, big trees, private golf course, 455 00:30:38,873 --> 00:30:41,111 stream running through the rear of the estate. 456 00:30:41,176 --> 00:30:44,482 Warm Sunday afternoon fishing under the cool trees, 457 00:30:44,546 --> 00:30:47,218 sipping ice-cold beer. 458 00:30:47,282 --> 00:30:49,620 l can almost see the foam. Yeah. 459 00:30:49,685 --> 00:30:52,323 Ham and cheese on ye. With mustard. 460 00:30:52,389 --> 00:30:55,194 Yeah. We have plenty of mustard at the house. Yeah. 461 00:30:55,258 --> 00:30:59,432 Then this guy comes up the shady drive in an armored car from the bank, 462 00:30:59,496 --> 00:31:03,905 and he dumps a whole basket of coupons worth hundreds of thousands of dollars... 463 00:31:03,967 --> 00:31:06,004 Yeah? right in your lap. 464 00:31:06,070 --> 00:31:09,275 And he says, ''Sign here, please, on the dotted line.'' 465 00:31:09,340 --> 00:31:11,510 l'll have a fountain pen by that time. Yes. 466 00:31:11,575 --> 00:31:13,713 Then he's off to the soft chirping... 467 00:31:13,778 --> 00:31:16,750 of our feathered friends in the arboreal dell. Oh. 468 00:31:16,814 --> 00:31:19,518 That's what these bonds mean! They do, eh? 469 00:31:19,583 --> 00:31:24,293 l'd rather part with my dear grandmother's paisley shawl or her wedding ring... 470 00:31:24,356 --> 00:31:30,134 than to part with these bonds. Yeah, it must be tough to lose a paisley shawl. 471 00:31:30,195 --> 00:31:32,667 Thank you. 472 00:31:32,731 --> 00:31:34,868 Gosh! Oh, pardon my language. 473 00:31:34,933 --> 00:31:38,607 lt's all right. l swear sometimes myself. l feel like a dog. 474 00:31:38,671 --> 00:31:41,275 But, it's now or never. It must be done. 475 00:31:41,340 --> 00:31:44,312 So take it or leave it. l'll take it. 476 00:31:44,377 --> 00:31:47,951 Fine! Fine. Fine. 477 00:31:48,014 --> 00:31:50,886 Meet me down at the bank in about an hour. Why, certainly! 478 00:31:50,950 --> 00:31:54,357 My card. Oh, thanks. 479 00:32:04,465 --> 00:32:09,309 Boy, l got you set for life. l don't hang around that Black Pussy Cafe for nothing. 480 00:32:09,369 --> 00:32:11,339 l met a fellow who's in trouble. 481 00:32:11,405 --> 00:32:13,977 Something the matter with his grandmother's paisley shawl. 482 00:32:14,041 --> 00:32:17,481 He has 5,OOO shares in the Beefsteak Mine, 483 00:32:17,545 --> 00:32:20,317 and you can buy them for a handful of hay. 484 00:32:20,382 --> 00:32:22,351 Hay? And they're worth-- 485 00:32:22,417 --> 00:32:26,993 Ten cents a share. Telephone sold for five cents a share. 486 00:32:27,055 --> 00:32:30,462 How would you like something better for ten cents a share? 487 00:32:30,526 --> 00:32:33,798 If five gets you ten, ten'll get you twenty. 488 00:32:33,862 --> 00:32:38,004 Beautiful home in the county, upstairs and down. 489 00:32:38,067 --> 00:32:43,545 Beer flowing through the estate over your grandmother's paisley shawl. 490 00:32:43,607 --> 00:32:46,512 Beer? Beer! 491 00:32:46,576 --> 00:32:52,421 fishing in the stream that runs under the arboreal dell. 492 00:32:52,482 --> 00:32:55,588 A man comes up from the bar, 493 00:32:55,653 --> 00:33:01,530 dumps $3,500 in your lap for evey nickel invested. 494 00:33:01,591 --> 00:33:05,933 Says to you, ''Sign here on the dotted line;' 495 00:33:05,997 --> 00:33:10,538 and then disappears in the waving fields of alfalfa. 496 00:33:10,602 --> 00:33:13,908 Gosh! Do you think he was telling the truth? 497 00:33:13,971 --> 00:33:17,411 You don't think a man would resort to taradiddle, do you? 498 00:33:17,476 --> 00:33:23,087 Why, he sounded like a child at the vey thought of disposing of these shares. 499 00:33:23,148 --> 00:33:25,184 How does the bank make its money? 500 00:33:25,250 --> 00:33:27,019 By investing. That's the point. 501 00:33:27,084 --> 00:33:29,522 You don't want to work all your life. 502 00:33:29,589 --> 00:33:33,228 Take a chance. Take it while you're young. 503 00:33:33,292 --> 00:33:36,164 My uncle, a balloon ascensionist, 504 00:33:36,228 --> 00:33:39,702 Effingham Hoffnagle, took a chance. 505 00:33:39,766 --> 00:33:42,638 He was three miles and a half up in the air. 506 00:33:42,702 --> 00:33:45,240 He jumped out of the basket of the balloon... 507 00:33:45,305 --> 00:33:48,645 and took a chance of lighting on a load of hay. 508 00:33:48,709 --> 00:33:51,915 Golly! Did he make it? H m m. 509 00:33:51,978 --> 00:33:56,955 - Uh, no, he didn't. - Oh. 510 00:33:57,017 --> 00:34:00,824 Had he been a younger man, he probably would have made it. 511 00:34:00,888 --> 00:34:05,529 That's the point. Don't wait too long in life. 512 00:34:09,764 --> 00:34:12,368 l've never done anything like this. 513 00:34:12,434 --> 00:34:16,308 And another thing, l haven't got the money. 514 00:34:16,371 --> 00:34:21,079 Of course, my bonus comes due in four days. That's $500. l could buy 'em then. 515 00:34:21,142 --> 00:34:24,983 Then with all that money, l really might be worthy of your daughter's hand. 516 00:34:25,046 --> 00:34:28,186 Women really appreciate the fine things in life. 517 00:34:28,251 --> 00:34:32,892 You don't wanna die and leave your wife and children paupers, do you? No. 518 00:34:32,954 --> 00:34:35,794 Borrow the $500 from the bank. 519 00:34:35,859 --> 00:34:39,299 You intend to pay it back when your bonus comes due, don't ya? 520 00:34:39,362 --> 00:34:42,268 Oh, sure. Surely! Don't be a luddy-duddy. 521 00:34:42,332 --> 00:34:44,569 Don't be a moon calf. 522 00:34:44,635 --> 00:34:48,676 Don't be a jabbernowl. You're not those, are you? No. 523 00:34:48,739 --> 00:34:52,313 l guess there's no way you could confuse it with stealing, is there? 524 00:34:52,376 --> 00:34:55,181 Ha! Nothing could be more absurd! 525 00:34:55,245 --> 00:34:57,248 Well, all right. Send him in. 526 00:34:57,314 --> 00:35:00,587 He won't be here till 11 :OO. 527 00:35:13,431 --> 00:35:17,306 Got him! Back! Back! Oh, what do you mean? 528 00:35:17,369 --> 00:35:19,573 The idea! Is that gun loaded? 529 00:35:19,638 --> 00:35:22,844 Certainly not, but l think you are. 530 00:35:22,908 --> 00:35:26,615 Mommy, doesn't that man have a funny nose? 531 00:35:26,679 --> 00:35:28,717 You mustn't make fun of the gentleman, Clifford. 532 00:35:28,782 --> 00:35:32,890 You'd like to have a nose like that full of nickels, wouldn't you? 533 00:35:32,953 --> 00:35:36,627 l'll throw him in the wastepaper basket next time he comes in here. 534 00:36:02,783 --> 00:36:04,720 How do you do? How do you do? 535 00:36:04,786 --> 00:36:06,756 l'm the officer. Can l help you? 536 00:36:06,822 --> 00:36:08,892 l'd like to see Mr. Skinner, please. 537 00:36:08,957 --> 00:36:13,131 Yes, he'll be vey glad to see you, l'm sure. 538 00:36:13,195 --> 00:36:15,365 Very glad. 539 00:36:15,430 --> 00:36:18,769 J. Pinkerton Snoopington, bank examiner. 540 00:36:18,834 --> 00:36:21,039 Is that right? Yes. 541 00:36:21,103 --> 00:36:23,842 He'll be very glad to see you, but, um, 542 00:36:23,906 --> 00:36:26,578 he's gone out to the golf course on business... 543 00:36:26,642 --> 00:36:28,979 and probably won't be back till midnight. 544 00:36:29,044 --> 00:36:31,115 If he does return, where can he call you? 545 00:36:31,180 --> 00:36:33,919 I'm stopping at the New Old Lompoc House on the avenue. 546 00:36:33,983 --> 00:36:36,188 Oh, New Old Lompoc House! Yes, yes. 547 00:36:36,252 --> 00:36:39,391 Frank Cridellhoffer, the management. l know him well. 548 00:36:39,456 --> 00:36:41,726 You do? If you need anything during the night, 549 00:36:41,792 --> 00:36:44,397 just mention my name. Yes, l will. 550 00:36:44,461 --> 00:36:46,464 That's fine, yes. 551 00:36:50,701 --> 00:36:52,638 Got some bad news for ya. 552 00:36:52,703 --> 00:36:55,810 Can you take it now, or shall l hold it off a little longer? 553 00:36:55,874 --> 00:36:58,846 That was the bank examiner, wasn't it? 554 00:36:58,910 --> 00:37:01,080 You guessed it the first time. Ooh. 555 00:37:01,145 --> 00:37:04,720 l knew this would happen. l was a perfect idiot to ever listen to you. 556 00:37:06,818 --> 00:37:09,557 You listen to me, Og. 557 00:37:09,622 --> 00:37:12,995 There's nothing in this world that is perfect. 558 00:37:13,059 --> 00:37:17,400 It'll be four days before l get my bonus and can replace that money. 559 00:37:17,463 --> 00:37:20,435 Oh, was I a dope. I've sacrificed eveything: 560 00:37:20,499 --> 00:37:23,371 my job, my marriage to your daughter. 561 00:37:23,436 --> 00:37:25,840 Keep my daughter's name out of this. 562 00:37:25,906 --> 00:37:30,714 Don't you ever tell me again l'm not a jabbernowl and a moon cal_ 563 00:37:32,344 --> 00:37:35,417 Please get out of the office, Mr. Sous�. This is terrible. 564 00:37:35,482 --> 00:37:40,091 l reiterate, Ogilthorpe. Leave eveything to me. 565 00:37:40,153 --> 00:37:43,325 Don't wory about a thing. 566 00:37:45,860 --> 00:37:47,930 Hello, hello. 567 00:37:47,995 --> 00:37:52,069 Give me the New Old Lompoc House. 568 00:37:52,132 --> 00:37:55,539 Yeah, the New Old. 569 00:37:55,603 --> 00:37:58,308 Charlie on the desk? 570 00:38:05,581 --> 00:38:10,157 What's a six-letter word meaning ''embezzlement''? Prison. 571 00:38:10,219 --> 00:38:12,623 [ Loud Knocking ] 572 00:38:12,688 --> 00:38:14,793 [ Sighs ] l'll bet that's Og. 573 00:38:14,857 --> 00:38:18,297 Hmm, he's got her bettin'. She never gambled before she met him. 574 00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:22,602 Ah, hello, Og. Hello, dear. 575 00:38:22,665 --> 00:38:25,771 Still workin' on your crossword-puzzle book? Uh-huh. 576 00:38:25,836 --> 00:38:28,273 l'll tell you one on Grandma. l asked 'em to give me... 577 00:38:28,338 --> 00:38:33,347 a six-letter word meaning ''embezzlement;' and she said ''prison.'' 578 00:38:34,578 --> 00:38:37,182 lsn't that a hot one? 579 00:38:37,248 --> 00:38:39,719 Huh? 580 00:38:47,558 --> 00:38:51,333 She's right. What's the matter with you? 581 00:38:52,430 --> 00:38:54,967 l've got something to confess. 582 00:38:55,033 --> 00:39:00,043 Our engagement is off. Og, what are you saying? 583 00:39:00,105 --> 00:39:02,944 Oh, well, it's only off for a while, dear; 584 00:39:03,009 --> 00:39:05,513 that is, if you're willing to wait until l get out of prison. 585 00:39:05,577 --> 00:39:09,552 Og, don't scare me. Oh, stop fooling. 586 00:39:09,614 --> 00:39:13,356 What do you mean? Oh, l don't know. l can't think straight. 587 00:39:13,419 --> 00:39:15,890 Your father brought a man into the bank who sold me... 588 00:39:15,955 --> 00:39:20,197 his old grandmother's paisley shawl with a beer river running through it. 589 00:39:20,259 --> 00:39:23,264 l don't know what it was! Are you sick? 590 00:39:23,329 --> 00:39:26,368 Let me feel your head. Ooh, you've got a fever. 591 00:39:26,432 --> 00:39:30,941 l don't know what l've got, but your father got me to take $500 from the bank... 592 00:39:31,004 --> 00:39:32,941 and invest it in-- Og! 593 00:39:33,006 --> 00:39:37,348 Shh. Not so loud. l don't want your mother or grandmother to hear this. 594 00:39:37,410 --> 00:39:41,986 He got me to invest it in telephone and telegraph and electric light company. 595 00:39:42,050 --> 00:39:45,857 No, it wasn't telephone or telegraph. It was a Beefsteak Mine. 596 00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:49,962 A Beefsteak Mine! Og, have you been drinking? 597 00:39:50,024 --> 00:39:53,965 l'm going to tell my mother that my father got you to drink and steal money from the bank. 598 00:39:54,029 --> 00:39:56,701 No, listen, dear. l'm gonna tell my mother right away... 599 00:39:56,765 --> 00:40:00,572 that my father got you to steal money from the bank and invest it in a Beefsteak Mine. 600 00:40:00,635 --> 00:40:02,905 Oh, now, Myrtle! 601 00:40:03,404 --> 00:40:07,478 lt was nice of you to call me. Oh, not at all! 602 00:40:07,542 --> 00:40:10,715 l knew you were a stranger. l wanted to make your stay happy. 603 00:40:10,779 --> 00:40:14,319 l work for the Chamber of Commerce when l'm not on my regular-- 604 00:40:14,383 --> 00:40:16,420 Would you like to weigh yourself? Oh, no. 605 00:40:16,485 --> 00:40:21,061 l know the manager here. He'll let you weigh yourself for nothing. 606 00:40:21,125 --> 00:40:25,165 Um, Lompoc is noted for its beautiful girls. 607 00:40:25,229 --> 00:40:28,335 l imagine you've noticed some. Yes, l have. 608 00:40:28,398 --> 00:40:30,735 l'm a married man with a grown daughter 18 years ofage. 609 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,105 Oh, l'd like to meet her. 610 00:40:33,170 --> 00:40:37,979 l'm very fond of children-- girl children around 18, 20. 611 00:40:38,042 --> 00:40:42,551 l have a young daughter of marriageable age, also a small daughter; 612 00:40:42,613 --> 00:40:46,821 nice wife and a mother-in-law that loves me like her own son. 613 00:40:46,885 --> 00:40:49,322 Would you like to give the town a double ''O''? 614 00:40:49,387 --> 00:40:52,894 A little constitutional couldn't possibly hurt. No. 615 00:40:52,958 --> 00:40:56,732 Ha! The Black Pussy Cafe and snack bar. 616 00:40:56,795 --> 00:41:00,401 Hello, Fancy. How would you like to go in and have a little spot? 617 00:41:00,465 --> 00:41:04,439 Mm-mm. No, no. l never drink during business hours, thank you. 618 00:41:04,503 --> 00:41:09,613 Just a little spot, and we'll find out how Gumlegs came out at Del Mar today. 619 00:41:09,676 --> 00:41:13,449 This, uh-- This place isn't crowded, is it? 620 00:41:13,513 --> 00:41:16,552 No! If it wasn't for me, the place'd starve to death. 621 00:41:16,616 --> 00:41:20,490 Well, l'll dawdle for about ten minutes. We'll dawdle together. 622 00:41:20,554 --> 00:41:24,193 Oh, after you. Thank you. 623 00:41:26,726 --> 00:41:30,166 Nice little place here. Psst, psst. 624 00:41:30,230 --> 00:41:32,868 Could we find a secluded spot where we won't be observed? 625 00:41:32,933 --> 00:41:36,373 Oh, surely. Sit down there. Nobody will see you. 626 00:41:36,437 --> 00:41:40,178 These are just a couple of local beer guzzlers. 627 00:41:40,241 --> 00:41:42,378 Could we pull the shade? 628 00:41:42,443 --> 00:41:44,681 You can pull anything you want in here. It's a regular joint. 629 00:41:44,746 --> 00:41:48,220 l know Joe very well. What's your pleasure? 630 00:41:48,284 --> 00:41:52,058 Uh, Rye highball. Rye highball. 631 00:41:52,121 --> 00:41:55,494 Make it light. Light? Fine. 632 00:41:55,558 --> 00:41:58,129 Hi, Mr. Sous�. What'll it be? 633 00:41:58,194 --> 00:42:01,133 [ Egbert ] l want two highballs. 634 00:42:01,197 --> 00:42:05,171 One very light. You can double up on mine. 635 00:42:05,234 --> 00:42:08,941 Has Michael Finn been in here today? 636 00:42:09,004 --> 00:42:12,511 - No, but he will be. -Mm-hmm.That's good. 637 00:42:12,575 --> 00:42:16,850 How'd Gumlegs come out in the fifth? He ran sixth. 638 00:42:16,912 --> 00:42:19,151 Oh, the dog! 639 00:42:19,216 --> 00:42:22,021 You ever bet on the races? No. l never wager. 640 00:42:22,085 --> 00:42:25,892 You never wager. It's not a bad idea. It's a good system. 641 00:42:25,957 --> 00:42:29,430 l bet on that Gumlegs once. 642 00:42:29,493 --> 00:42:32,565 He won. But the jockey got of fat the three-quarters... 643 00:42:32,629 --> 00:42:36,103 and had to carry him across the tape on his back. 644 00:42:36,167 --> 00:42:40,442 He's a beetle. The jockey was a very insulting fellow. 645 00:42:40,504 --> 00:42:43,043 He referred to my proboscis... 646 00:42:43,108 --> 00:42:46,949 as an adsatitious excrescious. 647 00:42:47,011 --> 00:42:50,050 l had to tweak his nose. 648 00:42:50,115 --> 00:42:54,256 l was compelled to-- Oh, that's fine, thank you. 649 00:42:56,221 --> 00:42:59,094 Well, no one's looking. 650 00:42:59,158 --> 00:43:02,665 Down the hatch. Down the-- [ Clears Throat ] 651 00:43:15,409 --> 00:43:17,813 [ Gasps ] 652 00:43:27,720 --> 00:43:29,758 [ Gasps ] 653 00:43:34,896 --> 00:43:36,833 [ Hiccups ] 654 00:43:38,733 --> 00:43:42,272 l feel deathly ill. Oh. 655 00:43:42,337 --> 00:43:46,612 Well, fill 'em up again, Joe. 656 00:43:46,675 --> 00:43:51,484 No, no, please. l've never had such a feeling in all my life. 657 00:43:51,546 --> 00:43:54,686 Probably it's something you've eaten. [ Hiccups ] 658 00:43:54,749 --> 00:43:58,289 I haven't eaten anything. There you are, you haven't eaten. 659 00:43:58,354 --> 00:44:01,962 Let's go over. l'll get you some nice chili con carne. 660 00:44:02,024 --> 00:44:05,231 Or it may be the altitude. 661 00:44:05,295 --> 00:44:06,830 Come on. Ooh! 662 00:44:06,897 --> 00:44:10,870 My error. Don't worry about a thing. You're all right. 663 00:44:10,934 --> 00:44:15,610 lt may be the altitude. This town has an altitude of 500 feet. 664 00:44:15,671 --> 00:44:18,310 Population is 4,500. 665 00:44:18,375 --> 00:44:23,753 Schools. Churches. Public library. [ Groans ] 666 00:44:23,814 --> 00:44:27,153 Three blocks of paved streets. 667 00:44:27,218 --> 00:44:31,594 Two trains a day, not counting the milk train at 4:OO in the morning. 668 00:44:31,655 --> 00:44:35,496 We have three drugstores. One actually sells medicine. Stop. 669 00:44:35,559 --> 00:44:39,033 Stop, l'm dying. Could you direct me to a culvert? 670 00:44:39,097 --> 00:44:42,504 Why don't you wait till you get to the hotel? It's only six blocks. 671 00:44:42,567 --> 00:44:47,476 We pass the Spanish Americo Chili Parlor on the way up. 672 00:44:47,541 --> 00:44:49,343 [ Hiccups ] 673 00:44:50,708 --> 00:44:55,585 Maybe you've eaten an oyster in a month that had an ''R'' in it. 674 00:44:55,647 --> 00:44:58,887 Don't let these people know. It's a vey respectable place. 675 00:44:58,952 --> 00:45:01,523 That's all right. That's all right. 676 00:45:01,587 --> 00:45:04,694 Come on, come on. Equilibrium's the thing. 677 00:45:04,758 --> 00:45:07,763 lf your friend is drunk, don't bring him into this hotel. 678 00:45:07,826 --> 00:45:12,168 He's already registered here. J. Pinkerton Snoopington. 679 00:45:12,233 --> 00:45:14,637 Little case of ptomaine poisoning. 680 00:45:14,701 --> 00:45:17,807 Well, get him out of sight as quickly as possible. Something he ate. 681 00:45:17,871 --> 00:45:22,982 He's in room 5. Room 5. Come on, old boy. 682 00:45:23,043 --> 00:45:27,920 This won't last forever. Come on. Look out! Look out. 683 00:45:27,983 --> 00:45:31,054 That's it. Now, you're all right. 684 00:45:31,118 --> 00:45:36,596 You'll be fine or l'll fix it so you will be... 685 00:45:36,658 --> 00:45:40,331 in due time. l shall make it my business to see... 686 00:45:40,395 --> 00:45:43,267 that the Lompoc Ladies Auxiliary will be informed. 687 00:45:43,332 --> 00:45:47,139 l thought this was a family hotel. Yes, indeed it is. 688 00:45:47,202 --> 00:45:49,942 Uh, uh, Mr. Snoopington has a touch of ptomaine. 689 00:45:50,006 --> 00:45:54,080 Hmm. Didn't smell like ptomaine. 690 00:45:56,012 --> 00:45:57,915 [ Gasps ] Well! 691 00:45:57,981 --> 00:46:00,452 Drat, drat, drat, drat. 692 00:46:00,517 --> 00:46:03,723 Come on! Here you are. 693 00:46:05,922 --> 00:46:08,260 Okay, okay! What are you trying to do? 694 00:46:08,325 --> 00:46:12,834 Fill this hotel full of delirium tremens? We've a reputation uphold! 695 00:46:12,896 --> 00:46:15,233 This is the same man, just fell out the window. 696 00:46:15,299 --> 00:46:17,637 Friend of mine caught him on the first bounce. Oh, yeah? 697 00:46:17,701 --> 00:46:21,007 Face up. l'll see that he doesn't bounce again. 698 00:46:21,071 --> 00:46:25,580 Come now, Mr. Snoopington. Come, let's pull ourselves together now. 699 00:46:25,644 --> 00:46:28,484 Here we go. Up, up, up. 700 00:46:28,546 --> 00:46:31,251 Oh, yes, he's blotto. 701 00:46:31,316 --> 00:46:33,421 lsn't he-- Oh! 702 00:46:43,229 --> 00:46:48,472 [ Operator ] When you hear the tone, it will be 22 and one half minutes till 7:OO. 703 00:46:48,535 --> 00:46:52,809 Listen, l'm calling Dr. Stall, and as a matter of fact, 704 00:46:52,873 --> 00:46:58,516 when l hear the tone, it'll be 22 and one half minutes till 6:OO. 705 00:46:58,579 --> 00:47:02,352 Give me Dr. Stall. l'll give you information please. 706 00:47:02,416 --> 00:47:07,927 l don't want information please or Professor Quiz or calling all cars. 707 00:47:07,988 --> 00:47:11,528 l want Dr. Stall. Louder, please. 708 00:47:11,592 --> 00:47:16,635 ''Louder, please.'' If l spoke any louder, l wouldn't need a telephone. 709 00:47:16,698 --> 00:47:19,603 Gimme Dr. Stall. 710 00:47:30,812 --> 00:47:33,985 [ Loud Crunching ] 711 00:47:39,689 --> 00:47:41,793 [ Ringing ] 712 00:47:46,529 --> 00:47:48,966 Hello. 713 00:47:49,032 --> 00:47:50,935 Just a moment, please. 714 00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:54,841 The first thing you've got to do is cut out all health foods. 715 00:47:54,904 --> 00:47:59,512 That'll be $1O.OO. The nurse will return your clothes with the receipt. 716 00:48:00,877 --> 00:48:02,747 Hello. 717 00:48:02,812 --> 00:48:05,817 This is Sous� speaking, Doc. How are you? 718 00:48:05,883 --> 00:48:09,256 l'm here at the New Old Lompoc House. 719 00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:13,261 There's a bank examiner in town, an old friend of the family's. 720 00:48:13,324 --> 00:48:17,165 He's evidently been on a bender. He's full of nose paint. 721 00:48:18,529 --> 00:48:22,103 [ Groaning ] [ Knocking ] 722 00:48:24,268 --> 00:48:27,675 Hello, Snoopy, old boy! How do you feel? 723 00:48:27,739 --> 00:48:32,615 Oh, l feel as though l've been poisoned. [ Laughing ] 724 00:48:32,677 --> 00:48:35,850 You look the picture of health! 725 00:48:39,117 --> 00:48:41,655 Oh, oh! 726 00:48:44,323 --> 00:48:48,097 Shame. Agony. 727 00:48:49,095 --> 00:48:51,834 My poor wife. 728 00:48:51,898 --> 00:48:55,238 Little Doret. 729 00:48:55,302 --> 00:48:58,541 I forgot to telephone them Last night. 730 00:48:58,605 --> 00:49:01,778 Why don't you let me get you something to eat? 731 00:49:01,842 --> 00:49:05,649 How'd you like some breaded veal cutlet with tomato sauce? 732 00:49:05,713 --> 00:49:09,654 A chocolate eclair with whip cream? 733 00:49:09,717 --> 00:49:12,422 Poor fella hasn't had anything to eat. 734 00:49:12,487 --> 00:49:15,559 [ Knocking ] Oh. 735 00:49:15,624 --> 00:49:17,727 Guess that's the doctor. 736 00:49:20,728 --> 00:49:23,066 Hello, Doc. How are ya? 737 00:49:23,131 --> 00:49:25,803 How's business? Oh, fair, fair. 738 00:49:25,867 --> 00:49:28,907 l don't suppose we'll ever get another whooping-cough epidemic again. 739 00:49:28,970 --> 00:49:31,175 No, l don't suppose we will. 740 00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:35,481 Ah, this is the eminent, uh, Dr. Stall-- 741 00:49:35,544 --> 00:49:38,616 diagnostician, our town's leading physician. 742 00:49:38,682 --> 00:49:43,525 What's the name? J. Pinkerton Snoopington. 743 00:49:43,587 --> 00:49:45,924 Business? Bank examiner. 744 00:49:45,989 --> 00:49:50,097 Bank examiner? Quite a lucrative occupation. Yes. 745 00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:53,466 Do you mind, uh, showing me your tongue? 746 00:49:59,135 --> 00:50:02,408 You must eat more solids; meats and sauces. 747 00:50:02,472 --> 00:50:05,078 You need iron; liver and bacon. 748 00:50:05,141 --> 00:50:07,346 You lack vitamins ''A'',''B'' and ''C.'' 749 00:50:07,411 --> 00:50:12,855 Skip the rest down to ''X'' and ''Y.'' If''Z'' is necessay, we'll give you that later. 750 00:50:12,917 --> 00:50:15,856 What you need most of all is rest. 751 00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:19,293 Rest will do more for you than all the doctors in the world. 752 00:50:19,358 --> 00:50:22,664 No exercise! No. 753 00:50:22,728 --> 00:50:26,101 Now, you take two of these... 754 00:50:26,164 --> 00:50:31,909 in a glass of castor oil for two nights running, then you skip one night. 755 00:50:31,970 --> 00:50:36,913 But l thought you said l wasn't to take any exercise. You take me too literally. 756 00:50:36,976 --> 00:50:38,946 What l should say is, 757 00:50:39,011 --> 00:50:42,585 you take two for two nights consecutively, 758 00:50:42,649 --> 00:50:46,224 and then you, uh-- Refrain from taking them one night. 759 00:50:46,286 --> 00:50:48,623 Yes. 760 00:50:48,689 --> 00:50:52,797 That's absolutely true and they're tasteless. Good with goulash. 761 00:50:52,860 --> 00:50:57,202 [Dr. Stall] With the proper rest, l'll get you out of here in three days. 762 00:51:00,434 --> 00:51:04,141 Yes, sir, l'll get you out in three days. 763 00:51:07,207 --> 00:51:11,148 Three more days and you'll be outta here. Four! 764 00:51:12,580 --> 00:51:15,585 Careful waving that cane. You might hit something. 765 00:51:15,650 --> 00:51:19,057 Yeah, l might hit that globe up there. 766 00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:22,827 That'll be just one day before the boys at the bank get their bonus. 767 00:51:22,892 --> 00:51:25,297 Yes, sir, I'll have you out in three days-- 768 00:51:25,361 --> 00:51:28,300 unless, of course, complications set in. Oh, yes. 769 00:51:28,364 --> 00:51:32,171 That'll naturally take an extra day. Yes! 770 00:51:32,234 --> 00:51:34,304 Leave everything to me. 771 00:51:34,370 --> 00:51:37,977 l'll do the worrying. Be happy and gay! 772 00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:41,146 l'll have the management send you up a radio. 773 00:51:41,210 --> 00:51:44,317 Come on, Doc. We better be going. 774 00:51:45,950 --> 00:51:48,655 Toodle-oo! 775 00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:53,896 Gonna have the missus bake you a nice coconut custard pie with savaloi pudding. 776 00:51:53,958 --> 00:51:55,961 [ Hiccups ] 777 00:51:56,026 --> 00:51:58,464 You haven't a thing to worry about. 778 00:51:58,529 --> 00:52:02,570 I've got Snoopington down at the New Old Lompoc House. He's still in bed. 779 00:52:02,633 --> 00:52:05,839 Oh, much obliged. l gotta put on my work clothes now. 780 00:52:05,903 --> 00:52:08,041 Okay, go ahead. 781 00:52:08,105 --> 00:52:10,777 Uh, what do you mean? 782 00:52:13,478 --> 00:52:16,483 Ha, yeah. l thought l lost it. 783 00:52:23,155 --> 00:52:25,493 How-dee-do, Mr. Skinner? 784 00:52:28,394 --> 00:52:31,299 Mr. Sous�, we appreciate the capture you made... 785 00:52:31,363 --> 00:52:34,402 and the manhandling you gave those criminals. 786 00:52:34,467 --> 00:52:37,573 Oh, nothing at all! Nothing really. 787 00:52:37,637 --> 00:52:39,741 They were a couple of tough fellows. 788 00:52:39,806 --> 00:52:42,811 One of them pulled a knife on me. 789 00:52:42,877 --> 00:52:45,682 Pulled a knife that was really-- It was-- 790 00:52:45,746 --> 00:52:48,852 It was about that-- 791 00:52:48,916 --> 00:52:51,520 It was about that long. It was really an assegai. 792 00:52:51,585 --> 00:52:55,192 Doesn't anyone ever pull a short knife on you, Mr. Sous�? 793 00:52:55,256 --> 00:52:57,660 A little one... about that long? 794 00:52:57,725 --> 00:53:00,531 Oh, yes! Yes, yes. 795 00:53:00,595 --> 00:53:04,402 Major Moe one time, a little colored midget, pulled one on me. 796 00:53:04,465 --> 00:53:08,339 It was just about that long. Wasn't really a knife, it was a razor. 797 00:53:08,403 --> 00:53:11,142 We're grateful to you for retrieving the bank's funds. 798 00:53:11,206 --> 00:53:14,178 Oh, that was in the line of duty. 799 00:53:14,242 --> 00:53:18,149 And we feel we've shown our gratitude by giving you a position as bank's officer. 800 00:53:18,213 --> 00:53:21,018 But when you caution Mrs. Muckle's little son... 801 00:53:21,084 --> 00:53:25,226 about carrying a toy pistol into the bank, that's going too far. 802 00:53:25,288 --> 00:53:27,993 l cannot impress upon you too firmly, 803 00:53:28,057 --> 00:53:31,129 the Skinner Bank is a dignified institution. 804 00:53:31,194 --> 00:53:34,533 Yeah, that's the way l always figured it. 805 00:53:34,597 --> 00:53:38,371 l guess you figured it the same way, working here the same as l do. 806 00:53:38,434 --> 00:53:41,474 Furthermore, l've been informed that you are a frequenter... 807 00:53:41,538 --> 00:53:43,775 of a caf� known as the Black Pussy. 808 00:53:43,841 --> 00:53:46,379 Oh, yes. Say, that reminds me. 809 00:53:46,443 --> 00:53:50,752 One of the customers gave it to me last night. Thank you. 810 00:53:50,815 --> 00:53:52,885 By the way, 811 00:53:52,951 --> 00:53:57,827 accept this silver-plated napkin ring with my compliments. 812 00:53:57,889 --> 00:54:01,563 l won it over at the bowling alley last night. Thanks. 813 00:54:01,626 --> 00:54:04,298 - You're welcome. -Why, Mr. Snoopington! 814 00:54:04,362 --> 00:54:07,634 Aaah! [ Muttering ] 815 00:54:08,766 --> 00:54:11,805 l beg your pardon. 816 00:54:11,871 --> 00:54:16,747 lt's an unexpected pleasure to see you in Lompoc. It's no pleasure for me. 817 00:54:16,809 --> 00:54:21,017 l'm a very sick man. But l'm also a man for duty. 818 00:54:21,081 --> 00:54:24,153 lf you don't mind, l'd like to look over your books. 819 00:54:24,216 --> 00:54:26,219 [ Buzzer ] Aaah! 820 00:54:28,220 --> 00:54:33,163 [ Skinner ] Of course we don't mind. This bank is always ready for an audit, yes, sirree. 821 00:54:33,225 --> 00:54:37,032 Mr. Sous�, our special officer, will give you evey assistance you wish. 822 00:54:37,098 --> 00:54:39,101 - [ Knocking ] - Come in. 823 00:54:39,167 --> 00:54:43,041 Not feeling well, Mr. Snoopington? No, l'm not feeling very fit. 824 00:54:43,104 --> 00:54:45,776 Well, l'll leave you to Mr. Sous�. 825 00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:49,146 And rest assured you are in proper hands. 826 00:54:49,209 --> 00:54:51,179 Thank you. 827 00:54:55,783 --> 00:54:59,190 Are you, um-- 828 00:54:59,253 --> 00:55:03,027 Are you still suffering from that slight nausea you had yesterday? 829 00:55:03,091 --> 00:55:06,164 Yes, l haven't quite gotten over it yet. Well, listen, 830 00:55:06,227 --> 00:55:08,531 l don't want to be a crepe hanger, 831 00:55:08,597 --> 00:55:13,840 but in your weakened condition, you're subject to all sorts of maladies. 832 00:55:13,902 --> 00:55:18,211 Now, l want to tell you something very confidentially. Yes? 833 00:55:18,273 --> 00:55:23,784 l know positively that our good friend Dr. Stall... 834 00:55:23,846 --> 00:55:28,789 has treated this boy who thumbs the pages of these books... 835 00:55:28,851 --> 00:55:31,958 for Malta fever, beriberi 836 00:55:32,022 --> 00:55:37,499 and that dreaded of all diseases mogo on the ga-go-go. 837 00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:40,333 Mr. Sous�, if duty called, 838 00:55:40,397 --> 00:55:45,072 l would go into the tsetse fly country of Africa and brave sleeping sickness... 839 00:55:45,135 --> 00:55:47,840 if there were books to be examined. Hmm. 840 00:55:52,611 --> 00:55:54,647 This way? Uh, yeah. 841 00:55:54,713 --> 00:55:59,089 Would you like to examine the books of the Black Pussy Cafe? 842 00:55:59,150 --> 00:56:01,756 Thank you. 843 00:56:01,820 --> 00:56:03,925 [ Groans ] 844 00:56:03,990 --> 00:56:07,262 What you need to get is a description of that place. 845 00:56:07,325 --> 00:56:09,262 Okay. 846 00:56:13,032 --> 00:56:15,536 [ Groaning ] Og, what's the matter? 847 00:56:15,601 --> 00:56:17,604 Exactly what l suspected! 848 00:56:17,670 --> 00:56:21,310 What? The old mogo on the ga-go-go. 849 00:56:21,374 --> 00:56:23,979 Og? Whiskey! 850 00:56:24,044 --> 00:56:25,780 Whiskey? Look out! l'll get it! 851 00:56:25,845 --> 00:56:27,983 Whiskey. What's the matter? Speak to me! 852 00:56:28,049 --> 00:56:30,352 What happened to him? l don't know. 853 00:56:30,416 --> 00:56:34,091 Help me lift him up. Just wet his lips. 854 00:56:34,154 --> 00:56:36,492 Okay. 855 00:56:36,556 --> 00:56:39,695 Here you are. 856 00:56:43,363 --> 00:56:46,168 [ Hiccups ] 857 00:56:47,835 --> 00:56:50,239 Uh-- 858 00:56:50,306 --> 00:56:54,180 Ooh! Something in the clamp? 859 00:56:54,243 --> 00:56:56,480 Oh, that's a good question. 860 00:56:56,545 --> 00:57:01,855 Ah, unfortunately you must've had your hand in there. 861 00:57:01,917 --> 00:57:04,489 That'll interfere with your writing, won't it? 862 00:57:04,553 --> 00:57:07,659 It won't interfere with my writing. Fortunately, l'm left-handed. 863 00:57:07,723 --> 00:57:11,263 Oh, that's unfort-- Oh, yeah. 864 00:57:11,328 --> 00:57:14,367 Get him a glass of water, will you, Scotty? Feel better? 865 00:57:24,507 --> 00:57:26,177 Psst! 866 00:57:26,243 --> 00:57:28,513 Mr. Sous�. 867 00:57:28,579 --> 00:57:32,218 Did l see that bank examiner here? 868 00:57:32,283 --> 00:57:34,353 Why, l don't imagine so. 869 00:57:34,417 --> 00:57:37,957 With my introspective eye as a detective, 870 00:57:38,022 --> 00:57:41,329 l would naturally have seen him-- 871 00:57:44,762 --> 00:57:49,004 Ah,just as l thought: recurring fever. 872 00:57:49,067 --> 00:57:51,471 l'm sorry to appear overzealous, 873 00:57:51,535 --> 00:57:54,441 but these books have got to be examined. 874 00:57:56,575 --> 00:57:59,948 Let me help you, Mr. Snoopington. Oh, thank you. 875 00:58:00,012 --> 00:58:03,250 Here you are, sir. Oh, l'm sorry, sir. 876 00:58:03,316 --> 00:58:06,589 That's all right. l can't see a thing without my glasses. 877 00:58:06,652 --> 00:58:10,191 Here you are, sir. Thank you. 878 00:58:10,256 --> 00:58:13,963 - l'll be right over here if you need me, sir. - All right. 879 00:58:34,315 --> 00:58:38,122 If I can be of-- 880 00:58:38,186 --> 00:58:40,824 Oh, sorry. And l try to be so helpful. 881 00:58:40,889 --> 00:58:44,462 Well-- Oh. Tsk, tsk, tsk. 882 00:58:44,526 --> 00:58:48,066 l hope that won't intefere with your auditing the books. 883 00:58:48,130 --> 00:58:51,001 lt certainly will not! 884 00:58:51,066 --> 00:58:53,937 Oh, that's good, that's good. 885 00:59:07,516 --> 00:59:13,094 It couldn't be possible that Mr. Sous� is trying to keep me from examining the books. 886 00:59:40,419 --> 00:59:42,389 There, you see? 887 00:59:42,454 --> 00:59:45,226 Mr. Sous�, l've done Mr. Oggilby a great wrong. 888 00:59:45,290 --> 00:59:47,427 And I'm here to recti_ that wrong. 889 00:59:47,494 --> 00:59:50,433 I was hoodwinked into believing that those bonds were 1OOM. 890 00:59:50,497 --> 00:59:53,803 l've never been guilty of a dishonest act in my life. 891 00:59:53,866 --> 00:59:57,472 So I'll take those bonds off his hands if I have to pay for them with my blood. 892 00:59:57,536 --> 00:59:59,573 Transfusion? Anything. 893 00:59:59,638 --> 01:00:04,314 There you are. The man is willing to buy the bonds back with his own blood. 894 01:00:04,377 --> 01:00:08,786 l don't want blood. l want money. Let him give me back the $500. 895 01:00:08,848 --> 01:00:12,422 The boy needs money. He doesn't want blood. 896 01:00:12,486 --> 01:00:14,990 He's got high blood pressure already. 897 01:00:15,054 --> 01:00:16,991 Give him what he paid for the bonds in cash. 898 01:00:17,057 --> 01:00:19,227 I'm the saddest man in the world. 899 01:00:19,293 --> 01:00:22,265 You may be the second saddest, but he's the saddest. 900 01:00:22,329 --> 01:00:24,901 l'm prepared to pay you $350 cash. 901 01:00:24,965 --> 01:00:28,472 l'll pay the rest in weekly installments of $25 per week. 902 01:00:28,537 --> 01:00:31,977 I'll even give you my favorite aunt's wedding ring as security. 903 01:00:32,040 --> 01:00:34,577 l want to prove that l am honest in the worst way. 904 01:00:34,976 --> 01:00:37,748 The worst way. 905 01:00:43,118 --> 01:00:48,194 Thanks. l was a fool to listen to Mr. Sous� in the first place. In the second place too. 906 01:00:48,257 --> 01:00:52,198 Paper, mister? How'd Gumlegs come out in the fourth today? 907 01:00:52,260 --> 01:00:55,734 l don't know. Let me see your paper. 908 01:00:58,000 --> 01:01:02,676 A bonanza! Bee_teak Mine. 909 01:01:02,738 --> 01:01:05,576 Godfrey Daniel! 910 01:01:09,513 --> 01:01:13,120 Oh! What are you doing? Just as l was getting some of my money back! 911 01:01:13,183 --> 01:01:16,223 You read this paper. You're a millionaire! 912 01:01:16,286 --> 01:01:19,091 Go away, Mr. Sous�. Look at that window. 913 01:01:19,157 --> 01:01:21,494 Read that paper. 914 01:01:24,529 --> 01:01:28,203 Oh! Now l can put the money back without waiting for my bonus. 915 01:01:28,266 --> 01:01:31,406 Mr. Snoopington's no longer a nightmare. Bring him in here! l'll kill him! 916 01:01:31,469 --> 01:01:34,809 Calm yourself. Oggilby, my boy. Calm yourself. 917 01:01:34,872 --> 01:01:38,212 Golly. Oh, Mr. Sous�! Cut it out. 918 01:01:38,277 --> 01:01:41,483 Oh, Mr. Sous�, l don't need all this money. l don't deserve it. 919 01:01:41,547 --> 01:01:44,754 You engineered the whole thing. You're a financial wizard. 920 01:01:44,816 --> 01:01:48,156 l'm gonna split with ya. l'll give you half of'em. Thank you, Og. 921 01:01:48,220 --> 01:01:50,658 Wait. l'll follow ya. 922 01:01:50,723 --> 01:01:54,664 Anything l can do for you? You sure can, brother. 923 01:01:54,727 --> 01:01:58,701 Turn around. Now start walking toward the cashier's cage and keep quiet. 924 01:01:58,765 --> 01:02:00,767 Ooh! That tickles. 925 01:02:01,901 --> 01:02:04,305 [ Crook ] You remember me, don't you? 926 01:02:04,371 --> 01:02:09,949 Ah, you remember the gentleman, Og? 927 01:02:10,010 --> 01:02:13,049 Yes, sir. That's the man that held me up the last time. 928 01:02:13,113 --> 01:02:16,286 Ah, mind your, uh-- mind your language, Og. 929 01:02:16,350 --> 01:02:20,525 Here. Hate for you to be the fall guy, but fill that up. 930 01:02:20,588 --> 01:02:24,195 Do what the gentleman tells you to, Og, quickly. Yes, sir. 931 01:02:24,259 --> 01:02:26,295 Don't-- Oh, don't-- Shut up. 932 01:02:29,197 --> 01:02:32,536 This is my Beefsteak stock. fill that up. 933 01:02:32,601 --> 01:02:35,540 [ Egbert ] Do what the gentleman tells you to, Og. 934 01:02:37,738 --> 01:02:40,143 Thanks. 935 01:02:40,208 --> 01:02:44,617 Do you mind accompanying me to the door? Not at all, no. 936 01:02:44,681 --> 01:02:47,620 How-dee-do, Mrs. Chiselbottom? 937 01:02:47,684 --> 01:02:51,692 Keep your foot off the alarm, or l'll come back and plug you. Are you still there? 938 01:02:51,754 --> 01:02:54,392 Hello, Mr. Sous�. Making more movies? 939 01:02:54,457 --> 01:02:57,964 Sous�, huh? Get in that car and start driving. We're goin' for a ride. 940 01:02:58,027 --> 01:03:00,465 Reach for the sky and back up there. 941 01:03:01,831 --> 01:03:05,170 [Alarm Ringing ] 942 01:03:05,235 --> 01:03:07,673 Oggilby, you're arousing the bank. 943 01:03:07,738 --> 01:03:10,476 You have the alarm on. What's the matter? 944 01:03:10,541 --> 01:03:14,483 Like to see some of the places of interest in town? No, keep driving. 945 01:03:19,783 --> 01:03:23,190 There's the Black Pussy Cafe. Be careful! 946 01:03:28,326 --> 01:03:30,931 Help! We've been robbed! 947 01:03:30,994 --> 01:03:34,569 Johnson, get on that phone and get the police. There's been a robbey here. 948 01:03:34,633 --> 01:03:36,335 Help! Police! 949 01:03:36,401 --> 01:03:40,877 He took Mr. Sous�? He certainly did, right from under my contract. 950 01:03:40,939 --> 01:03:43,779 l've just called the police. 951 01:03:43,843 --> 01:03:47,182 Follow that gray car. Come on, come on! 952 01:03:47,246 --> 01:03:50,920 Hold up! Bank robbers up that way. 953 01:03:52,852 --> 01:03:56,593 Don't let that car out of your sight. Hurry. That police car. 954 01:04:08,301 --> 01:04:10,605 These are catalpa trees. Step on that gas. 955 01:04:10,671 --> 01:04:13,042 Keep moving! l'm stepping on it. [ Muttering ] 956 01:04:13,107 --> 01:04:16,581 Mr. Sous�'s liable to get hurt. And me with $1O,OOO in the briefcase for him. 957 01:04:16,645 --> 01:04:19,650 For Sous�? What for? For a stoy he told me while he was directing. 958 01:04:19,714 --> 01:04:23,588 l sent it in with the day's report, and the boss went nuts about it. 959 01:04:23,652 --> 01:04:25,989 He wants it and Sous� too. 960 01:04:26,053 --> 01:04:28,925 There goes the helmet. 961 01:04:44,072 --> 01:04:47,479 - [ Gunshot ] - Come back here, you. 962 01:05:07,264 --> 01:05:09,701 There's more catalpa-- l'm sorry. 963 01:05:09,768 --> 01:05:12,507 Never mind about those trees. Keep stepping on the gas. 964 01:05:12,571 --> 01:05:14,908 You know who's in that car with Sous�? No, who? 965 01:05:14,972 --> 01:05:19,113 Repulsive Rogan. There's a $5,OOO dead-or-alive reward on him. 966 01:06:14,402 --> 01:06:16,672 Stay awake! Be careful, driver. 967 01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:23,114 Hey! Magic carpet. 968 01:06:28,082 --> 01:06:31,790 Wipe off that windshield, you. Here. 969 01:06:31,854 --> 01:06:35,228 You wipe it off. l'm driving. 970 01:06:43,999 --> 01:06:47,071 Lake Shoshobogomo is right over the top of this mountain. 971 01:06:47,136 --> 01:06:48,874 Get out and push! 972 01:06:48,939 --> 01:06:51,678 What do you think this is, a kiddie car? 973 01:06:51,741 --> 01:06:54,981 Can't push a hulking truck like this. 974 01:06:55,045 --> 01:06:57,817 Start pushing. 975 01:07:20,739 --> 01:07:24,279 Seems to be a great deal of traffic here for a county road, don't you think? 976 01:07:24,343 --> 01:07:26,246 Keep going. Yeah. 977 01:07:36,221 --> 01:07:38,593 Hiya, toots! 978 01:07:38,658 --> 01:07:40,361 Look out! 979 01:07:44,163 --> 01:07:48,872 The resale value of this car is gonna be nil after you get over this trip. 980 01:07:51,605 --> 01:07:54,142 You're goin' too fast! Slow down. 981 01:07:57,277 --> 01:08:00,883 Foot brake's gone. Where's your emergency? 982 01:08:03,952 --> 01:08:07,459 Here it is, but it won't do you any good in that backseat. 983 01:08:09,858 --> 01:08:13,232 Gimme that wheel. Here, grab it! 984 01:08:13,294 --> 01:08:17,168 Put it on there! We're gonna have an accident if you're not careful. 985 01:08:17,233 --> 01:08:19,569 You're gonna have a real accident in a minute! 986 01:08:31,747 --> 01:08:33,417 The wheel is comin' off 987 01:08:33,482 --> 01:08:38,592 That's what l thought. Going to be very dangerous. 988 01:08:40,590 --> 01:08:43,062 l'm gonna jump. Huh? 989 01:08:50,267 --> 01:08:54,108 Have to take the boat from here on anyway. 990 01:09:02,580 --> 01:09:05,085 Looking for someone? 991 01:09:15,627 --> 01:09:19,468 You better stop by the station and see about that $5,OOO reward, Mr. Sous�. 992 01:09:19,531 --> 01:09:21,701 This sure is your lucky day, Mr. Sous�. 993 01:09:21,767 --> 01:09:25,274 Here's a check for $1O,OOO from the Tel-Aviz Company for that story you told us, 994 01:09:25,338 --> 01:09:27,474 as well as a contract for you to bring it to the screen. 995 01:09:27,540 --> 01:09:30,979 Looks like it's all here, Mr. Skinner, including the Beefsteak Mine. 996 01:09:31,045 --> 01:09:34,886 l don't know whether it is or not, but allow me to give you another hearty handclasp. 997 01:09:44,859 --> 01:09:49,434 Judkins, has Mr. Sous� had his caf� rum a la papa? 998 01:09:49,497 --> 01:09:53,438 Yes, ma'am. Thank you, dear. l've had a double noggin. 999 01:09:53,501 --> 01:09:55,271 What time is it, Daddykins? 1000 01:09:55,336 --> 01:09:59,043 lt's one minute till 9:OO. 1001 01:09:59,107 --> 01:10:02,614 l gotta get down to the sal-- the, uh, office. 1002 01:10:02,677 --> 01:10:04,580 Good-bye, Daddy dear. 1003 01:10:04,645 --> 01:10:06,916 Good-bye, dear. Gimme a kiss. 1004 01:10:06,982 --> 01:10:10,924 l'll give you two of'em. Good bye, paternoster. 1005 01:10:10,987 --> 01:10:13,324 Good-bye, dear. Take care of yourself. 1006 01:10:13,388 --> 01:10:16,762 l shall, dear. Good-bye, my darling. 1007 01:10:16,825 --> 01:10:20,934 Hurry home if you feel like it. l'll be waiting up as usual. 1008 01:10:20,997 --> 01:10:23,802 Oh, thank you, dear. l'll be home early. 1009 01:10:36,379 --> 01:10:39,586 Hey, that doesn't look bad, does it? 1010 01:10:39,649 --> 01:10:42,756 l think, sir, this is the more appropriate. 1011 01:10:42,819 --> 01:10:46,560 Yeah, that's nice and cool though. Thanks. 1012 01:10:46,623 --> 01:10:49,061 Thank you. 1013 01:10:52,229 --> 01:10:55,101 Good-bye. 1014 01:10:59,205 --> 01:11:00,774 Thanks. 1015 01:11:00,839 --> 01:11:04,245 Thank you. 1016 01:11:04,309 --> 01:11:07,281 What a changed man. 1017 01:11:07,346 --> 01:11:11,653 You deserve a lot of credit, Agatha. Hasn't been easy. 1018 01:11:19,358 --> 01:11:22,664 ## [Joe Whistling ] 1019 01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:30,540 Uh, say! Hey! 84164

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