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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,883 --> 00:00:06,367 Dave, what are we doing in this ritzy store? 2 00:00:06,416 --> 00:00:10,012 Smells like trust funds and white-collar crime in here. 3 00:00:10,358 --> 00:00:11,143 I know, 4 00:00:11,227 --> 00:00:12,481 but I need some new shirts for work, 5 00:00:12,566 --> 00:00:15,660 and Haberdashery L.A. is the hot new place. 6 00:00:15,744 --> 00:00:17,301 They say it's for the modern, 7 00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:19,411 yet classic gentleman. 8 00:00:19,745 --> 00:00:21,740 Then what are you doing here? 9 00:00:23,105 --> 00:00:24,731 Calvin, what about this? 10 00:00:25,378 --> 00:00:28,670 I love the story that hat is telling on you. 11 00:00:28,925 --> 00:00:30,528 I saw the price of that. 12 00:00:30,612 --> 00:00:32,591 Is the moral of the story bankruptcy? 13 00:00:34,573 --> 00:00:36,176 Oh, I like this guy. 14 00:00:36,261 --> 00:00:38,442 Would you two care for some complimentary 15 00:00:38,527 --> 00:00:40,512 small-batch bourbon while you shop? 16 00:00:40,597 --> 00:00:41,945 I like this guy. 17 00:00:42,030 --> 00:00:44,459 Complimentary is my favorite brand. 18 00:00:47,152 --> 00:00:48,646 Thank you. Mm-hmm. 19 00:00:49,472 --> 00:00:52,090 Ooh, oaky, yet peppery. 20 00:00:52,173 --> 00:00:55,185 Am I sensing some notes of burnt caramel? 21 00:00:55,682 --> 00:00:57,490 Dave, I would take you more seriously 22 00:00:57,573 --> 00:00:58,551 if I didn't see you drinking 23 00:00:58,636 --> 00:01:00,950 a box of chocolate milk this morning. 24 00:01:02,567 --> 00:01:05,379 You know what would look amazing on you? 25 00:01:05,915 --> 00:01:06,920 This jacket. 26 00:01:07,004 --> 00:01:10,240 Ooh! That is a nice jacket. Mm-hmm. 27 00:01:10,325 --> 00:01:12,411 Oh, you know what? Calvin, you should try that on. 28 00:01:13,027 --> 00:01:15,180 Is it complimentary to try on? 29 00:01:15,263 --> 00:01:18,091 As long as you stay in the store. 30 00:01:19,677 --> 00:01:20,653 Hey. 31 00:01:20,737 --> 00:01:22,957 Okay. Yeah. 32 00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:25,289 - Yeah, that's nice right there. - All right. 33 00:01:25,373 --> 00:01:28,450 Now that's how that jacket was made to be worn. 34 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,832 You know, it might be the bourbon talking, 35 00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,860 but, uh, I believe you. 36 00:01:35,878 --> 00:01:37,168 Whew. 37 00:01:37,252 --> 00:01:40,103 Calvin, you know what? You should get it. 38 00:01:40,188 --> 00:01:42,006 I mean, I do need a jacket, right? 39 00:01:42,090 --> 00:01:43,207 Yeah. 40 00:01:43,292 --> 00:01:46,804 And it's on sale for only $800. 41 00:01:47,010 --> 00:01:49,183 Man, this is L.A. Don't nobody need a jacket. 42 00:01:49,268 --> 00:01:50,920 Well, hold on, hold on, hold on. 43 00:01:51,003 --> 00:01:52,548 Calvin, don't take it off. 44 00:01:52,668 --> 00:01:55,319 That jacket's so sharp, you might cut yourself. 45 00:01:55,403 --> 00:01:58,522 Aw, yeah, man. 46 00:01:58,606 --> 00:02:01,426 - I do look fly, though, right? - Yeah. 47 00:02:02,010 --> 00:02:03,194 I don't know, Dave, 48 00:02:03,278 --> 00:02:06,793 I just can't justify spending $800 for a jacket. 49 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:08,094 If it makes you feel better, 50 00:02:08,179 --> 00:02:11,433 it's actually $799.99. 51 00:02:13,221 --> 00:02:16,139 So, you saying 700 and some change? 52 00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:17,641 Mm-hmm. 53 00:02:17,725 --> 00:02:20,067 Well, I can justify that. 54 00:02:21,462 --> 00:02:23,689 โ™ช Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood โ™ช 55 00:02:23,774 --> 00:02:25,524 โ™ช Welcome to the hood. โ™ช *THE NEIGHBORHOOD* 56 00:02:25,608 --> 00:02:26,776 *THE NEIGHBORHOOD* Season 04 Episode 09 57 00:02:26,860 --> 00:02:28,573 Episode Title: "Welcome to the Splurge" Aired on: December 06, 2021. 58 00:02:28,985 --> 00:02:30,526 I mean, look, I can wear this 59 00:02:30,610 --> 00:02:32,655 to so many different special occasions. 60 00:02:32,766 --> 00:02:34,501 The Met Gala, all right. 61 00:02:34,585 --> 00:02:36,813 Pop it up like this, BET Awards. 62 00:02:37,875 --> 00:02:38,993 And right here, 63 00:02:39,078 --> 00:02:41,103 double date with Barack and Michelle. 64 00:02:41,877 --> 00:02:44,103 But, baby, you don't do any of those things. 65 00:02:44,187 --> 00:02:46,454 Because I never had this jacket. 66 00:02:47,695 --> 00:02:51,055 Well, I think it's very chic, very sexy. 67 00:02:51,139 --> 00:02:53,225 When a piece tells your story, 68 00:02:53,310 --> 00:02:54,807 you got to read it, 69 00:02:54,890 --> 00:02:56,868 even if it was a lot of money. 70 00:02:57,164 --> 00:02:58,875 Well, Calvin, you know what they say, 71 00:02:58,959 --> 00:03:00,016 you can't take it with you. 72 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:01,469 Well, they lied. 73 00:03:01,554 --> 00:03:03,610 I'm getting buried in this thing. 74 00:03:04,205 --> 00:03:05,969 Well, baby, I'm happy you're finally 75 00:03:06,054 --> 00:03:07,509 splurging a little on yourself. 76 00:03:07,592 --> 00:03:09,025 Yeah. 77 00:03:10,477 --> 00:03:12,421 Dave, Daisy Wasser just texted me back. 78 00:03:12,506 --> 00:03:13,336 Oh, my God. Okay. 79 00:03:13,420 --> 00:03:15,525 All right. It's all happening. 80 00:03:16,140 --> 00:03:18,137 Okay, who's Daisy Wasser? 81 00:03:18,221 --> 00:03:19,283 My new mom friend. 82 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:21,052 Her daughter Thatcher's on Grover's soccer team. 83 00:03:21,137 --> 00:03:23,955 Yeah, and her husband, Josh, is a celebrity chef. Mm-hmm. 84 00:03:24,039 --> 00:03:26,198 He owns a farm-to-table restaurant. 85 00:03:26,282 --> 00:03:28,766 That sounds like food with dirt on it. 86 00:03:29,421 --> 00:03:31,955 That's five-star dirt. 87 00:03:32,195 --> 00:03:33,566 More importantly... 88 00:03:33,650 --> 00:03:35,133 we really need parent friends 89 00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:36,915 to do all these parent activities with. 90 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,620 Like go to animated movies, kids' birthday parties, 91 00:03:39,704 --> 00:03:42,432 and water parks. Unless you guys are interested? 92 00:03:42,515 --> 00:03:45,673 We didn't want to do those things with our own damn kids. 93 00:03:47,421 --> 00:03:50,462 Well, look at us, we're all making new friends. 94 00:03:52,211 --> 00:03:54,712 Hello? Jay-Z? 95 00:03:54,796 --> 00:03:56,805 You're making a new album? 96 00:03:57,031 --> 00:04:00,938 Of course. I would love to pose on the cover in my new jacket. 97 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:09,245 Oh, hey, man. Where you coming from? 98 00:04:09,329 --> 00:04:12,037 Uh... You know, I was out with the... 99 00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:13,813 Nowhere. 100 00:04:15,024 --> 00:04:16,947 Man, what you doing? 101 00:04:17,031 --> 00:04:18,095 You left your phone in my car. 102 00:04:18,178 --> 00:04:19,564 Thanks. I'll see you later, Trey. 103 00:04:19,648 --> 00:04:21,697 Hey, Marty, you would've loved that new Marvel movie. 104 00:04:21,781 --> 00:04:22,911 I'm surprised you didn't go with us. 105 00:04:22,995 --> 00:04:24,908 It was nerds everywhere. 106 00:04:25,268 --> 00:04:26,733 Goodbye, Trey. 107 00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:30,490 Get out. Get the hell out, Trey. 108 00:04:31,019 --> 00:04:32,908 Uh, I thought you said 109 00:04:32,992 --> 00:04:35,322 you didn't feel like going to the Marvel movie. 110 00:04:36,249 --> 00:04:37,290 Look, I'm sorry. 111 00:04:37,375 --> 00:04:38,869 I forgot you wanted to see it, okay? 112 00:04:38,952 --> 00:04:41,134 Which is why I put it in our shared calendar. 113 00:04:41,218 --> 00:04:42,935 Marty, you know I never check that. 114 00:04:43,019 --> 00:04:46,137 Which is why I put a Post-it on your pillow. 115 00:04:46,221 --> 00:04:48,437 Oh, come on, man. It's just a movie. 116 00:04:48,521 --> 00:04:49,701 I... 117 00:04:50,233 --> 00:04:51,922 A superhero movie 118 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,288 is not just a movie. 119 00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:56,312 It is an experience. 120 00:04:59,326 --> 00:05:01,119 Well, here's to new parent friends 121 00:05:01,202 --> 00:05:03,483 that understand the importance of day drinking. 122 00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:09,211 Okay, Josh, look, I-I don't want to make this weird, but 123 00:05:09,295 --> 00:05:11,165 I followed your recipe for homemade beer 124 00:05:11,249 --> 00:05:13,324 and... would love to know what you think. 125 00:05:15,884 --> 00:05:18,031 Wow. Wow! 126 00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:19,930 Is that clove? 127 00:05:20,014 --> 00:05:23,242 It is! Yeah, I was hoping you were gonna pick up on that. 128 00:05:24,632 --> 00:05:26,351 Hey, you guys are great hosts. 129 00:05:26,435 --> 00:05:28,475 Why don't you let us return the favor next time? 130 00:05:28,733 --> 00:05:30,382 Thatcher and Grover can swim 131 00:05:30,466 --> 00:05:32,151 while we hang at the bar 132 00:05:32,235 --> 00:05:33,321 in our pool. 133 00:05:33,404 --> 00:05:34,552 You haven't had a margarita 134 00:05:34,637 --> 00:05:36,992 until you had a swim-up margarita. 135 00:05:37,076 --> 00:05:38,122 Ooh. 136 00:05:38,206 --> 00:05:39,725 You know, I have been waiting my whole life 137 00:05:39,808 --> 00:05:41,586 for someone to say those words to me. 138 00:05:43,851 --> 00:05:47,667 Submit, human! Whoa. Okay, okay. All right, hey. 139 00:05:47,750 --> 00:05:50,261 Hey, guys. Guys. Hey, hey. Is everybody okay? 140 00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:51,668 We're space pirates. 141 00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:54,441 Aw, I love that you guys are using your imagination. 142 00:05:54,524 --> 00:05:55,831 You're so creative. 143 00:05:55,915 --> 00:05:57,454 And you're so basic. 144 00:05:57,538 --> 00:05:59,961 Stop talking to me like I'm a child. 145 00:06:01,226 --> 00:06:04,557 Thatcher, thanks for giving us your truth, 146 00:06:04,641 --> 00:06:06,947 but next time, let's choose kinder words. 147 00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,910 Okay. Will do, Daisy. 148 00:06:12,766 --> 00:06:14,471 Thatcher calls you by your first name? 149 00:06:14,555 --> 00:06:15,567 Yes, yes. 150 00:06:15,651 --> 00:06:18,033 We, uh, we listen to a parenting podcast 151 00:06:18,117 --> 00:06:20,939 that suggests "mom and dad" causes an imbalance 152 00:06:21,024 --> 00:06:23,610 in the power dynamic between parent and child. 153 00:06:23,694 --> 00:06:25,144 - Mm. Mm. - Stop. You're hitting too hard. 154 00:06:25,228 --> 00:06:27,112 I don't care! Okay. Yeah, sure. 155 00:06:27,197 --> 00:06:29,115 I guess, uh, there's an argument 156 00:06:29,199 --> 00:06:31,360 for empowering kids. 157 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,817 Oh! 158 00:06:35,757 --> 00:06:36,877 Sorry. 159 00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:39,057 No need to apologize, kids. 160 00:06:39,141 --> 00:06:40,225 Things are just things. 161 00:06:40,308 --> 00:06:43,072 Don't let it cause any psychic trauma. 162 00:06:45,663 --> 00:06:49,040 Guys, thanks for understanding. We will pay to replace it. 163 00:06:51,050 --> 00:06:54,540 Oh, look at that. You already Venmo'd me. Thanks. 164 00:06:55,321 --> 00:06:57,209 We found that allowing Thatcher to discover 165 00:06:57,293 --> 00:06:59,512 her own boundaries is really good 166 00:06:59,596 --> 00:07:01,939 for her social-emotional portfolio. 167 00:07:02,024 --> 00:07:03,882 Hmm... 168 00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:05,617 Sometimes boundaries are good, right? 169 00:07:05,701 --> 00:07:08,939 You know, like at a museum or around my vase. 170 00:07:12,117 --> 00:07:13,468 Okay, baby, 171 00:07:13,552 --> 00:07:15,915 you ready to go to dinner? Oh, yeah. 172 00:07:16,038 --> 00:07:17,095 I've been dreaming about 173 00:07:17,178 --> 00:07:19,228 Brachetto's chicken parm all day. 174 00:07:19,312 --> 00:07:20,336 Well... 175 00:07:20,420 --> 00:07:21,836 We're going to a nice restaurant. 176 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,440 Aren't you gonna wear your new jacket? 177 00:07:24,262 --> 00:07:26,673 Brachetto's is not jacket worthy. 178 00:07:26,757 --> 00:07:29,975 Any place where you can use crayons 179 00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:33,105 to color on the table is not that nice. 180 00:07:33,288 --> 00:07:34,547 You're being ridiculous. 181 00:07:34,630 --> 00:07:36,081 You spent all that money on a new jacket, 182 00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:37,711 and now you're afraid to wear it? 183 00:07:37,795 --> 00:07:40,718 I'm not afraid to wear it. I just choose not to wear it 184 00:07:40,802 --> 00:07:44,735 out in that dirty world full of miscreants and vagabonds. 185 00:07:45,959 --> 00:07:48,151 Okay. Okay, you know what? 186 00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:51,377 We're gonna take this nice and slow, okay? 187 00:07:51,461 --> 00:07:53,298 - We're gonna put the jacket on... - All right. 188 00:07:53,382 --> 00:07:54,800 Come on, baby, come on. You got... 189 00:07:54,884 --> 00:07:57,165 Oh, look at that. Now... 190 00:07:57,249 --> 00:08:00,903 we're gonna wear the jacket outside, 191 00:08:00,987 --> 00:08:03,807 and then if that goes well, we'll wear it to the car. 192 00:08:03,891 --> 00:08:05,557 Good? 193 00:08:05,641 --> 00:08:07,346 No, I get it, I get it. You got it? 194 00:08:07,430 --> 00:08:10,817 It's nice, you know. Yeah. I mean, why was I tripping? 195 00:08:10,901 --> 00:08:13,819 You tripping. Come on. 196 00:08:13,903 --> 00:08:16,016 Okay, here we go. Thank you, baby. 197 00:08:18,281 --> 00:08:20,627 Aw, hell no. It's raining out there. 198 00:08:20,711 --> 00:08:23,103 God has spoken. Mm-mm. 199 00:08:25,619 --> 00:08:27,365 And that does it for our post-game coverage 200 00:08:27,449 --> 00:08:30,367 of the epic battle between the Lakers and the Celtics. 201 00:08:30,641 --> 00:08:33,220 Man, I would've killed to have been at that game. 202 00:08:36,278 --> 00:08:37,743 Yeah! 203 00:08:37,826 --> 00:08:41,190 Oh, that was, hands down, one of the most fun nights 204 00:08:41,274 --> 00:08:43,349 - ever! - Yeah, no joke. 205 00:08:43,432 --> 00:08:45,595 And I've been to Medieval Times. 206 00:08:45,899 --> 00:08:48,955 Hold up. W-Wait, wait. You two were at the game? 207 00:08:49,038 --> 00:08:51,157 Bro, we were basically in the game. 208 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:54,126 Marty got us JPL floor seats. Thank you, science! 209 00:08:54,211 --> 00:08:55,750 You, too, Marty. 210 00:08:56,413 --> 00:08:57,778 Wow, really? 211 00:08:57,861 --> 00:09:00,323 You know how much I wanted to go to that game. 212 00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:03,063 Oh, and how would I know that? 213 00:09:04,014 --> 00:09:05,993 Did you put a Post-it on my pillow? 214 00:09:06,123 --> 00:09:08,063 I know what you're trying to do, Marty. 215 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:11,250 Oh, do you now? Because all I was doing 216 00:09:11,335 --> 00:09:14,063 was enjoying a night out with my good friend, Trey. 217 00:09:14,195 --> 00:09:15,572 First of all, Trey 218 00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:17,475 is my good friend. 219 00:09:18,139 --> 00:09:19,666 I mean, yeah, but you never got me 220 00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:21,302 floor seats to the Laker game. 221 00:09:21,385 --> 00:09:25,006 Well, how about some tacos from the truck on 3rd Street? 222 00:09:25,091 --> 00:09:27,101 - Do I get guac? - Yes. 223 00:09:27,394 --> 00:09:29,118 You get guac. 224 00:09:31,804 --> 00:09:34,477 I call dibs on the last Popsicle. 225 00:09:38,618 --> 00:09:42,471 I mean, that swim-up bar was awesome. 226 00:09:42,556 --> 00:09:45,277 You know, Josh did not have to name a margarita after me, 227 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:49,056 but those Dave-aritas really hit the spot. 228 00:09:50,164 --> 00:09:51,683 What a perfect day. 229 00:09:51,768 --> 00:09:54,287 Perfect? Dave, you're wearing my wrap 230 00:09:54,370 --> 00:09:55,681 because their obnoxious kid 231 00:09:55,764 --> 00:09:56,923 threw your clothes into the pool. 232 00:09:57,006 --> 00:09:59,024 Well, which allowed me 233 00:09:59,109 --> 00:10:01,274 to get a lovely breeze. 234 00:10:02,812 --> 00:10:04,813 Look, Josh and Daisy are great, 235 00:10:04,898 --> 00:10:07,109 but their daughter's a nightmare. 236 00:10:07,216 --> 00:10:09,682 She called me "troll toes." 237 00:10:09,765 --> 00:10:13,414 Which is more of an observation than it is a criticism. 238 00:10:15,163 --> 00:10:17,360 O-Okay, okay, look. 239 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,013 Let's just give them one more chance. 240 00:10:20,096 --> 00:10:22,081 We have so much in common. 241 00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:24,102 You know, Thatcher just... 242 00:10:24,350 --> 00:10:27,125 keeps us on our troll toes. 243 00:10:28,655 --> 00:10:30,798 Not funny, and besides, 244 00:10:30,883 --> 00:10:32,596 she's a bad influence on Grover. 245 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:34,293 Grover is a great kid. 246 00:10:34,376 --> 00:10:36,393 Thatcher is not gonna turn him. 247 00:10:36,476 --> 00:10:37,440 Oh, sweetie, 248 00:10:37,524 --> 00:10:38,134 it's getting late. 249 00:10:38,217 --> 00:10:40,066 Please take a quick shower before bed. 250 00:10:40,149 --> 00:10:43,144 I'll get to it when I get to it, Gemma. 251 00:10:46,337 --> 00:10:48,123 Upstairs, now. 252 00:10:48,206 --> 00:10:50,067 Fine. 253 00:10:53,923 --> 00:10:55,881 Uh... Gemma, 254 00:10:55,966 --> 00:10:57,494 I think we might want to be mindful 255 00:10:57,577 --> 00:11:00,322 of his social-emotional portfolio. 256 00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:03,182 Upstairs, now. 257 00:11:05,307 --> 00:11:06,727 Fine. 258 00:11:11,860 --> 00:11:13,913 Why are we hosting the Wassers again? 259 00:11:13,996 --> 00:11:15,947 After yesterday, I am not in the mood. 260 00:11:16,032 --> 00:11:17,450 I didn't have a choice. 261 00:11:17,533 --> 00:11:20,192 Josh just texted me, "On our way," with a wine emoji. 262 00:11:20,292 --> 00:11:22,317 Well, let's just turn off the lights 263 00:11:22,402 --> 00:11:23,427 and pretend we're not home. 264 00:11:24,620 --> 00:11:26,082 Too late. Hey! 265 00:11:29,346 --> 00:11:31,797 - Hi. - Oh, hey, guys. Hey, Thatcher. 266 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:33,412 Uh, Grover's just having a snack in the kitchen. 267 00:11:33,495 --> 00:11:35,543 And before you ask, no, we don't have any candy. 268 00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:37,149 I already know that your snacks suck. 269 00:11:37,234 --> 00:11:39,832 Good thing I had chocolate in the car. 270 00:11:45,495 --> 00:11:47,071 Don't worry about that blanket, 271 00:11:47,155 --> 00:11:49,721 just an irreplaceable family heirloom. 272 00:11:50,519 --> 00:11:51,895 Sorry about that, 273 00:11:51,980 --> 00:11:53,707 - and about yesterday. - Yeah. 274 00:11:53,792 --> 00:11:55,934 We, uh, we brought you this biodynamic 275 00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:58,224 sparkling Lambrusco to apologize. 276 00:11:58,307 --> 00:12:00,326 Oh, well, that makes it all better. 277 00:12:00,409 --> 00:12:02,254 I'll go get some glasses. 278 00:12:04,246 --> 00:12:05,650 Make that plastic cups. 279 00:12:06,846 --> 00:12:08,807 Ooh, excuse me. Sorry. 280 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:11,966 Oh, hey, come on in, guys. 281 00:12:12,049 --> 00:12:14,942 Hey, we're just taking Calvin's new jacket 282 00:12:15,027 --> 00:12:17,019 out for a test-drive. 283 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:19,504 See? That wasn't so bad. 284 00:12:19,588 --> 00:12:20,980 Not so bad? 285 00:12:21,063 --> 00:12:22,873 Those pigeons on the power line were trying 286 00:12:22,956 --> 00:12:25,309 to go all Call of Duty on me. 287 00:12:25,602 --> 00:12:27,511 No pun intended. 288 00:12:27,971 --> 00:12:29,261 Uh, Josh, Daisy, 289 00:12:29,346 --> 00:12:31,815 these are our dearest friends, Calvin and Tina Butler. 290 00:12:31,899 --> 00:12:33,558 Hey, so nice to meet you. 291 00:12:45,587 --> 00:12:47,605 Josh Wasser. How you doing? 292 00:12:47,690 --> 00:12:48,908 Calvin Butler. 293 00:12:48,991 --> 00:12:50,176 Oh! 294 00:12:50,259 --> 00:12:53,621 No reason to do all that. You know what I mean? My man. 295 00:12:56,198 --> 00:12:57,528 Hey! 296 00:12:57,613 --> 00:12:59,528 I'm so glad you guys are here. 297 00:12:59,611 --> 00:13:02,546 Whoa, careful, careful! 298 00:13:02,629 --> 00:13:05,466 - Okay, all right. - Oh, God. 299 00:13:05,549 --> 00:13:06,707 What the hell? 300 00:13:06,792 --> 00:13:08,365 It's fruit punch. 301 00:13:08,448 --> 00:13:12,121 Say hello to my little friend. 302 00:13:13,182 --> 00:13:15,033 Thatcher, 303 00:13:15,118 --> 00:13:17,511 are we making good decisions right now? 304 00:13:21,152 --> 00:13:22,662 Okay, that's it. I'm out of here. 305 00:13:22,745 --> 00:13:24,243 There's a little white girl out of control. 306 00:13:24,326 --> 00:13:26,504 I'm gonna take my chances with the pigeons. 307 00:13:38,441 --> 00:13:41,644 I got you! 308 00:13:44,346 --> 00:13:46,107 Yes. 309 00:13:49,846 --> 00:13:51,956 Ooh. 310 00:13:54,256 --> 00:13:57,335 Hey, thank you for doing that for me. 311 00:13:57,418 --> 00:13:59,379 I did it for the jacket. 312 00:14:01,831 --> 00:14:03,504 Now, where is she? 313 00:14:03,589 --> 00:14:05,716 'Cause I ain't afraid to fight no fifth grader. 314 00:14:05,799 --> 00:14:07,052 Uh... 315 00:14:07,135 --> 00:14:09,692 That is just not the way we deal with our daughter. 316 00:14:09,777 --> 00:14:13,038 See, stains will come out, but psychic trauma, 317 00:14:13,121 --> 00:14:14,903 that lasts forever. 318 00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:17,129 Right. 319 00:14:17,212 --> 00:14:18,463 That little girl 320 00:14:18,548 --> 00:14:21,359 needs some good old-fashioned Black parenting. 321 00:14:21,583 --> 00:14:25,511 Say the word and me and Tina'll sneak through the back door. 322 00:14:26,522 --> 00:14:29,278 All I need is five minutes. 323 00:14:33,948 --> 00:14:35,114 Oh, 324 00:14:35,197 --> 00:14:37,741 so you up in here making a sandwich? 325 00:14:38,364 --> 00:14:40,192 Looks like it. 326 00:14:41,971 --> 00:14:44,665 Well, so am I. 327 00:14:48,084 --> 00:14:50,269 Pass me the mayo. 328 00:14:57,538 --> 00:14:59,167 We all out. 329 00:15:02,472 --> 00:15:03,890 So, it's gonna be like that, huh? 330 00:15:03,975 --> 00:15:07,019 Oh, yeah. It's like that. 331 00:15:08,846 --> 00:15:11,513 Ah! Ah! 332 00:15:11,596 --> 00:15:14,410 I ruined my own sandwich out of spite. 333 00:15:14,628 --> 00:15:16,437 Look, Marty, this is stupid, man. 334 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:18,030 What are we fighting for? 335 00:15:18,331 --> 00:15:21,582 Because you clearly don't like spending time with me. 336 00:15:23,494 --> 00:15:25,886 I do like spending time with you. 337 00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:28,801 I just don't like spending all my time with you. 338 00:15:28,966 --> 00:15:31,386 You know, we're brothers, we're roommates, 339 00:15:31,471 --> 00:15:33,176 we ride to work together. 340 00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:34,888 That's a lot. 341 00:15:35,245 --> 00:15:37,197 Well, why didn't you just say you needed space? 342 00:15:37,413 --> 00:15:38,825 Know what, you right. 343 00:15:38,909 --> 00:15:41,471 I should have, and I'm sorry. 344 00:15:43,279 --> 00:15:44,397 I'm sorry, too. 345 00:15:44,621 --> 00:15:46,350 All right. 346 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,070 Dave, this isn't gonna work. 347 00:15:50,153 --> 00:15:53,774 I want parent friends, too, but not these parent friends. 348 00:15:53,857 --> 00:15:56,676 Let's just tell them, "Josh, Daisy. 349 00:15:56,759 --> 00:15:58,037 "You're terrible parents, 350 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,889 and your daughter is gonna grow up to become the Joker." 351 00:16:02,322 --> 00:16:04,083 Knock, knock. 352 00:16:05,001 --> 00:16:06,586 Guys, while you were in here, 353 00:16:06,671 --> 00:16:09,418 we were out there doing a tandem meditation. 354 00:16:09,501 --> 00:16:10,761 No. 355 00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:13,894 And, um, we were both picking up 356 00:16:13,977 --> 00:16:16,769 on some pretty negative harmonics. 357 00:16:18,027 --> 00:16:19,457 Yeah, well, we were in here 358 00:16:19,542 --> 00:16:23,278 picking up after your daughter's trail of destruction. 359 00:16:24,121 --> 00:16:27,707 Okay, okay, uh, well, clearly, we're struggling here. 360 00:16:28,081 --> 00:16:29,140 Uh, we just 361 00:16:29,225 --> 00:16:31,168 have very different parenting styles. 362 00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:33,808 Yes, we're picking up on that, too, 363 00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:37,379 and we're happy to share some parenting tips with you. 364 00:16:39,145 --> 00:16:40,629 Wait, what? 365 00:16:40,713 --> 00:16:42,022 Uh, you know what? 366 00:16:42,105 --> 00:16:44,524 Guys... Call us old-fashioned, 367 00:16:44,609 --> 00:16:47,427 but we are firm believers in, I d... 368 00:16:47,511 --> 00:16:50,096 The traditional parent-child dynamic. 369 00:16:50,181 --> 00:16:51,676 Oh... 370 00:16:51,759 --> 00:16:54,772 That is so adorably Judeo-Christian of you. 371 00:16:55,573 --> 00:16:57,250 Okay, um... 372 00:16:57,335 --> 00:16:58,575 You know, before things get personal, 373 00:16:58,658 --> 00:17:00,344 why don't we, why don't we just be adults, 374 00:17:00,427 --> 00:17:02,725 put a pin in the parenting conversation, and go enjoy 375 00:17:02,809 --> 00:17:05,337 the very nice bottle of wine that you guys brought over. 376 00:17:06,528 --> 00:17:09,673 All right. 377 00:17:09,758 --> 00:17:11,018 See that? 378 00:17:11,102 --> 00:17:12,979 It was good that you married a mediator. 379 00:17:13,092 --> 00:17:14,839 Your mother was wrong. 380 00:17:17,708 --> 00:17:19,965 Oh, my. You have got to be kidding me. 381 00:17:20,049 --> 00:17:20,961 No! 382 00:17:21,045 --> 00:17:22,096 No. No way. 383 00:17:22,180 --> 00:17:24,257 That's your face right now, Gemma. 384 00:17:24,471 --> 00:17:26,226 Venmo's on its way. 385 00:17:26,580 --> 00:17:28,000 Thatcher, 386 00:17:28,085 --> 00:17:30,286 I know we practice our street art at home, 387 00:17:30,369 --> 00:17:32,580 but Dave and Gemma might not like it. 388 00:17:32,690 --> 00:17:34,192 We don't. Get out. 389 00:17:34,277 --> 00:17:36,162 Hey, uh, 390 00:17:36,246 --> 00:17:38,130 Josh, Daisy, this is over. 391 00:17:38,213 --> 00:17:39,686 Well, that breaks our hearts. 392 00:17:39,770 --> 00:17:43,092 Well, Thatcher broke our house. Bye. 393 00:17:43,458 --> 00:17:44,984 But I want to sign my work. 394 00:17:45,068 --> 00:17:46,086 Okay, you know what? 395 00:17:46,170 --> 00:17:47,711 How about this? "Xoxo, you little brat." 396 00:17:47,795 --> 00:17:49,489 Now, get out of here. 397 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,001 Thank God 398 00:17:54,086 --> 00:17:55,980 I'm not her dad. 399 00:17:57,188 --> 00:17:59,438 Man, that girl was a lot. 400 00:18:00,116 --> 00:18:02,133 You did the right thing, Dave. 401 00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:06,016 Oh. 402 00:18:06,413 --> 00:18:07,932 I know. 403 00:18:08,016 --> 00:18:11,391 My room. No iPad. 404 00:18:12,882 --> 00:18:14,659 I've made my final decision. 405 00:18:15,186 --> 00:18:16,957 This jacket is driving me crazy, 406 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:18,384 so I'm taking it back. 407 00:18:18,507 --> 00:18:20,386 Calvin, you're overreacting. 408 00:18:20,483 --> 00:18:22,066 Am I? 409 00:18:22,150 --> 00:18:24,672 I mean, you had to go all Secret Service 410 00:18:24,756 --> 00:18:27,852 just to protect me from little baby Scarface over there. 411 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:32,605 Clearly, I shouldn't have such an expensive jacket. 412 00:18:32,869 --> 00:18:35,060 You know who you remind me of right now? 413 00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:36,927 My mother. 414 00:18:37,011 --> 00:18:39,250 Okay, now you're just being mean. 415 00:18:40,826 --> 00:18:43,938 She saved up for years to buy this china set, 416 00:18:44,067 --> 00:18:47,117 and when she finally got it, she was so afraid it would break 417 00:18:47,201 --> 00:18:49,623 she never took it out of the box. 418 00:18:49,707 --> 00:18:51,400 And you know how this story ends. 419 00:18:51,483 --> 00:18:53,595 Yes. The china was safe 420 00:18:53,679 --> 00:18:56,398 and preserved for future generations. 421 00:18:57,448 --> 00:18:59,799 Yes, Calvin, but she also died 422 00:18:59,884 --> 00:19:01,969 before she got a chance to ever use it. 423 00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:03,359 Mm. 424 00:19:03,650 --> 00:19:05,338 Yeah, that's a shame. 425 00:19:05,423 --> 00:19:08,134 Your mother deserved to enjoy nice things. 426 00:19:08,719 --> 00:19:10,436 And so do you. 427 00:19:12,262 --> 00:19:14,647 You know what? You're right. 428 00:19:14,731 --> 00:19:16,884 Give me that jacket. Okay. 429 00:19:16,968 --> 00:19:20,421 You know, this neighborhood deserves nice things, too, 430 00:19:20,505 --> 00:19:23,032 like seeing me in this jacket. 431 00:19:24,875 --> 00:19:27,420 I mean, I do look good, don't I? 432 00:19:28,378 --> 00:19:29,820 Well, come on. 433 00:19:29,904 --> 00:19:31,748 Let's go give them something to talk about. 434 00:19:31,848 --> 00:19:34,067 Ooh, are we going someplace special? 435 00:19:34,152 --> 00:19:35,320 Yes. 436 00:19:35,404 --> 00:19:37,923 I'm taking my favorite girl out for ice cream. 437 00:19:38,007 --> 00:19:40,656 Ooh, yes. I-In a cup, not a cone. 438 00:19:40,740 --> 00:19:42,921 Okay. B-Baby steps. 439 00:19:46,092 --> 00:19:48,076 I mean, my man. 440 00:19:48,161 --> 00:19:51,507 First, you splurge on a new jacket, 441 00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:55,278 then you get two scoops of ice cream with sprinkles. 442 00:19:57,074 --> 00:19:58,919 YOLO, Tina. 443 00:19:59,002 --> 00:20:01,440 You know? I got to say, 444 00:20:01,752 --> 00:20:03,692 it feels kind of good 445 00:20:03,777 --> 00:20:06,445 splurging on things you don't necessarily need. 446 00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:09,192 I might have a little Diddy in me after all. 447 00:20:09,277 --> 00:20:10,606 You know. Uh-oh. Hey, hey. Hey, hey. 448 00:20:10,691 --> 00:20:12,115 Get it, get it, baby. Get it. 449 00:20:12,199 --> 00:20:13,519 Take that, take that. 450 00:20:17,097 --> 00:20:19,247 We have a surprise for you, Calvin. 451 00:20:25,615 --> 00:20:27,614 I went and got the same jacket. 452 00:20:28,696 --> 00:20:30,519 Jacket twins. 453 00:20:31,212 --> 00:20:32,121 Wow. 454 00:20:32,204 --> 00:20:33,622 Okay, I see you walking. 455 00:20:33,705 --> 00:20:34,740 - That's right. - Walk it out, baby. 456 00:20:34,824 --> 00:20:36,425 - Okay. Walk it. - Get it, Dave. 457 00:20:36,509 --> 00:20:38,657 - And two and three, and walk it out. - All right. 458 00:20:38,741 --> 00:20:41,277 Walk it out. Walk it out. 459 00:20:41,361 --> 00:20:42,510 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 460 00:20:42,595 --> 00:20:44,096 Subtitles Synchronized by srjanapala 32799

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