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1
00:00:04,054 --> 00:00:06,679
Calvin, this place is
a real hot spot.
2
00:00:06,764 --> 00:00:09,539
They're known for
their Rosé Lemonades.
3
00:00:10,339 --> 00:00:12,214
Did you order these
for our wives
4
00:00:12,299 --> 00:00:15,044
or is the cast of
Sex and the Cityon the way?
5
00:00:15,228 --> 00:00:17,453
No, Calvin, these are for us.
6
00:00:17,538 --> 00:00:18,812
I had a rough day
at work today.
7
00:00:18,897 --> 00:00:21,523
We are about to get
sorority girl wasted.
8
00:00:22,246 --> 00:00:24,851
Nobody's getting wasted
off this Kool-Aid.
9
00:00:24,940 --> 00:00:26,115
Whoa.
10
00:00:27,002 --> 00:00:28,617
Oh, my God.
11
00:00:29,089 --> 00:00:32,179
Take my keys.
I, like, can't drive.
12
00:00:34,476 --> 00:00:35,567
Calvin, look.
13
00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:37,687
It's Jerome Bettis.
14
00:00:37,772 --> 00:00:39,898
He's an NFL legend,
and he's just sitting there
15
00:00:39,983 --> 00:00:41,989
drinking a Rosé Lemonade.
16
00:00:42,406 --> 00:00:43,704
Look at that.
17
00:00:43,789 --> 00:00:46,593
Stars,
they're just like us.
18
00:00:47,141 --> 00:00:50,187
Dave, that is not Jerome Bettis.
19
00:00:51,978 --> 00:00:53,778
Oh, my God, I was right.
That's Jerome Bettis.
20
00:00:53,898 --> 00:00:55,113
I'll be right back.
21
00:00:57,329 --> 00:00:58,507
Jerome Bettis?
22
00:00:58,630 --> 00:00:59,890
My man!
23
00:00:59,975 --> 00:01:01,414
Hey, look.
You don't know me,
24
00:01:01,499 --> 00:01:03,896
but I'm married to your
old friend, Tina Plummer.
25
00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:05,464
Lil' Tee Tee?
26
00:01:05,549 --> 00:01:08,046
Small world!
How is she?
27
00:01:08,131 --> 00:01:10,365
Oh, well,
she's Big Tee Tee now.
28
00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:12,531
Not... not bigbig.
29
00:01:12,616 --> 00:01:15,663
But old.
But not oldold.
30
00:01:16,764 --> 00:01:18,156
She's fine.
31
00:01:19,216 --> 00:01:20,351
Jerome?
32
00:01:20,435 --> 00:01:21,526
Dave Johnson.
33
00:01:21,610 --> 00:01:22,766
That's on the house.
34
00:01:22,851 --> 00:01:24,265
Looks like we, uh,
35
00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:26,224
all have the same taste buds.
36
00:01:26,309 --> 00:01:29,164
Careful, these lemonades
sneak up on you.
37
00:01:29,270 --> 00:01:30,617
Yeah, but, uh,
38
00:01:30,718 --> 00:01:33,968
athletes like us can
handle our juice, right?
39
00:01:35,511 --> 00:01:38,062
How much you bench? 185?
40
00:01:39,237 --> 00:01:40,789
In the fifth grade.
41
00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:44,026
Hey, guys.
42
00:01:44,110 --> 00:01:45,156
Jerome?
43
00:01:45,241 --> 00:01:48,552
If it isn't Lil' Tee
Tee from the LBC?
44
00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:51,095
Romy, Romy.
45
00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:52,904
Well, you know
I'm straight out of Compton.
46
00:01:52,989 --> 00:01:55,037
- You've seen the movie.
- Yeah, yeah.
47
00:01:55,121 --> 00:01:56,540
Calvin...
48
00:01:56,772 --> 00:01:58,562
Hey, Gemma.
Dave Johnson.
49
00:01:58,647 --> 00:02:00,217
Kalamazoo born and raised.
50
00:02:00,301 --> 00:02:01,392
Okay.
51
00:02:01,476 --> 00:02:02,523
I guess I'm driving.
52
00:02:02,607 --> 00:02:03,611
Oh, wow.
53
00:02:04,259 --> 00:02:05,961
So, uh, what are you doing here?
54
00:02:06,045 --> 00:02:07,441
Well, I'm in
town on business.
55
00:02:07,525 --> 00:02:09,226
Uh, I've got a shoot over
at the Rose Bowl tomorrow.
56
00:02:09,310 --> 00:02:11,402
- Oh.
- Oh. You know, that's by our house.
57
00:02:11,486 --> 00:02:13,839
Tina and I would love for you
to come over for dinner.
58
00:02:13,923 --> 00:02:15,841
Oh, well,
I'm sure Jerome is busy.
59
00:02:15,925 --> 00:02:18,509
Well, actually, I am
free tomorrow night.
60
00:02:18,594 --> 00:02:21,493
You know, room service...
It gets real old, real fast.
61
00:02:21,844 --> 00:02:23,235
Ah.Well, there it is.
62
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,524
Tomorrow night,
it's going down!
63
00:02:26,516 --> 00:02:28,390
Looks like we're
getting on The Bus!
64
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:32,134
Next stop: Touchdown!
65
00:02:35,731 --> 00:02:38,737
Sorry, but my friend
is sorority girl wasted.
66
00:02:38,861 --> 00:02:40,861
Okay, that's enough for you,
Kelly-Jo.
67
00:02:40,946 --> 00:02:42,032
Come on.
68
00:02:42,128 --> 00:02:44,643
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
69
00:02:44,728 --> 00:02:46,328
♪ Welcome to the hood.
*THE NEIGHBORHOOD*
70
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,016
*THE NEIGHBORHOOD*
Season 04 Episode 07
71
00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:49,180
Episode Title: "Welcome to the Ex-Files"
Aired on: November 08, 2021.
72
00:02:49,265 --> 00:02:52,634
Ooh, Jerome was so cute
in his Geico ad.
73
00:02:52,719 --> 00:02:56,415
Mm, back in the day, I would
have let him bundle my policies.
74
00:02:58,634 --> 00:03:00,455
Aw, why didn't you two date?
75
00:03:00,617 --> 00:03:01,858
Oh, we did.
76
00:03:03,196 --> 00:03:04,416
Every summer
77
00:03:04,501 --> 00:03:07,289
in high school, I would
visit my granny in Detroit.
78
00:03:07,373 --> 00:03:09,640
So I met Jerome
in my senior year,
79
00:03:09,724 --> 00:03:12,904
and, uh, you know, we had
a cute little teenage romance.
80
00:03:12,988 --> 00:03:14,949
Aw. Does Calvin know?
81
00:03:15,033 --> 00:03:17,865
No. I would've told him,
but when we started dating,
82
00:03:17,949 --> 00:03:20,912
he had a "Don't Ask, Leave
the Past in the Past" rule.
83
00:03:20,996 --> 00:03:22,609
Ah.
84
00:03:22,693 --> 00:03:24,089
When we started dating,
85
00:03:24,173 --> 00:03:26,657
Dave had
a "Do Ask, Do Tell" rule.
86
00:03:26,936 --> 00:03:29,721
He even told me his first crush
was Nancy Reagan.
87
00:03:30,962 --> 00:03:32,445
And yet you still married him.
88
00:03:32,529 --> 00:03:33,884
Mm-hmm.
89
00:03:34,749 --> 00:03:37,493
Eventually, though, his honesty
policy grew on me.
90
00:03:37,577 --> 00:03:39,539
He's the ultimate open book.
91
00:03:39,623 --> 00:03:41,367
He'll tell anybody anything.
92
00:03:41,451 --> 00:03:42,455
- Hmm.
- Watch.
93
00:03:42,539 --> 00:03:43,720
Dave?
94
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,067
Yes, sweetie?
95
00:03:46,151 --> 00:03:47,678
How many people
have you slept with?
96
00:03:47,801 --> 00:03:49,150
- Six.
- Three.
97
00:03:50,581 --> 00:03:52,456
Six? You told me
it was three.
98
00:03:52,548 --> 00:03:53,639
Did I?
99
00:03:53,786 --> 00:03:56,705
Wait, did you lie
about your number?
100
00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,305
Hmm.
101
00:03:58,816 --> 00:04:00,227
Did I?
102
00:04:02,690 --> 00:04:04,085
That's the same
voice you had
103
00:04:04,169 --> 00:04:06,399
when I asked you if you
dinged my car last week.
104
00:04:07,055 --> 00:04:08,364
Is it?
105
00:04:08,565 --> 00:04:10,654
- Yes, it is.
- Yes, it is.
106
00:04:15,048 --> 00:04:17,708
- All right, you got it, little man?
- Yeah, I got it.
107
00:04:17,792 --> 00:04:20,101
I said, you got it, little
man? Yeah, I got it!
108
00:04:20,185 --> 00:04:22,048
All right.
One, two, three.
109
00:04:22,133 --> 00:04:23,860
Yeah, I don't got it.
110
00:04:23,945 --> 00:04:25,164
D'oh!
111
00:04:26,368 --> 00:04:27,478
Hey, Marty,
how come you're not
112
00:04:27,562 --> 00:04:29,119
helping us get ready
for Poker Night?
113
00:04:29,204 --> 00:04:30,242
Well, I am, man.
114
00:04:30,326 --> 00:04:31,845
I'm busy making snacks.
115
00:04:31,930 --> 00:04:34,239
Uh, yeah, that'll be
three large pizzas.
116
00:04:34,460 --> 00:04:35,813
Ooh, and some
mozzarella sticks.
117
00:04:35,897 --> 00:04:38,598
Okay, yeah, and-and two dozen
mozzarella sticks.
118
00:04:38,682 --> 00:04:40,382
Yeah, Malcolm,
give me your debit card.
119
00:04:40,532 --> 00:04:41,819
What?
120
00:04:41,903 --> 00:04:44,040
I didn't budget
for no damn mozzarella sticks.
121
00:04:45,776 --> 00:04:47,657
And yet you got enough money
in your budget
122
00:04:47,742 --> 00:04:49,137
for a Captain Kirk Snuggie.
123
00:04:49,301 --> 00:04:51,037
It was a collector's edition.
124
00:04:51,122 --> 00:04:52,384
That's an investment.
125
00:04:54,611 --> 00:04:56,329
Man, playing poker is
so much more funner
126
00:04:56,414 --> 00:04:57,810
than doing my English homework.
127
00:04:58,136 --> 00:04:59,446
More funner?
128
00:04:59,654 --> 00:05:01,229
Yeah, you might want
to try "more harder"
129
00:05:01,313 --> 00:05:02,985
on that homework, brother.
130
00:05:03,990 --> 00:05:05,168
And, yeah, uh, listen.
131
00:05:05,253 --> 00:05:07,087
We appreciate you
helping us set up,
132
00:05:07,172 --> 00:05:09,016
but tonight's for adults only.
133
00:05:09,470 --> 00:05:10,510
I'm sorry, Grover.
134
00:05:10,595 --> 00:05:11,892
Aw, come on.
135
00:05:11,976 --> 00:05:13,981
We got mozzarella sticks coming.
136
00:05:14,065 --> 00:05:16,375
Ooh. Hey, you know what?
I'll save you some.
137
00:05:16,704 --> 00:05:17,855
Fine.
138
00:05:18,009 --> 00:05:20,595
Didn't want to come
to your awesome party anyway.
139
00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:24,837
Look, oh, well.
140
00:05:24,922 --> 00:05:26,863
These poker nights can get
kind of wild, Marty.
141
00:05:26,948 --> 00:05:28,866
It's no place for kids.
142
00:05:28,977 --> 00:05:30,606
And maybe not for you, either.
143
00:05:30,690 --> 00:05:33,016
Yeah.
Last time, you lost $100.
144
00:05:33,126 --> 00:05:34,813
Yeah, but this time,
I'm prepared.
145
00:05:34,898 --> 00:05:36,424
I've created a foolproof system
146
00:05:36,509 --> 00:05:38,601
that calculates the odds
by running every permutation
147
00:05:38,735 --> 00:05:41,954
of any given hand to create
an advantage in my favor.
148
00:05:42,691 --> 00:05:44,130
So, you're counting cards?
149
00:05:44,215 --> 00:05:45,742
Yeah, basically.
150
00:05:48,404 --> 00:05:49,555
It's, it's...
151
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:50,931
- Hey, dude, hey.
- What's up, man?
152
00:05:51,015 --> 00:05:52,716
- Good morning. - Hey! Sidney!
- Yo, yo, yo,
153
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:53,891
yo, yo.
154
00:05:53,975 --> 00:05:55,414
Hey, this is my cousin,
Whitney.
155
00:05:55,498 --> 00:05:56,981
She likes poker,
so I brought her.
156
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,460
No, I brought you.
157
00:05:58,544 --> 00:05:59,592
I'm the one
with the car.
158
00:05:59,676 --> 00:06:00,854
Oh.
159
00:06:00,938 --> 00:06:02,421
Why are you always telling
family business?
160
00:06:02,505 --> 00:06:03,596
Why you always broke?
161
00:06:05,595 --> 00:06:06,821
Okay.
162
00:06:06,906 --> 00:06:08,345
Well, I got to warn you,
Whitney,
163
00:06:08,554 --> 00:06:10,407
I have a math-based system
that tells me
164
00:06:10,492 --> 00:06:11,671
there's an 86% chance
165
00:06:11,756 --> 00:06:13,356
that I'm going to take
93% of your money.
166
00:06:13,501 --> 00:06:16,174
Well, I have a system that
tells me you're 100% corny.
167
00:06:16,437 --> 00:06:18,290
What?
It's called my eyes.
168
00:06:20,516 --> 00:06:22,484
I like her.
Yeah, she can stay.
169
00:06:26,048 --> 00:06:28,054
Hey. Oh, yeah.
170
00:06:28,243 --> 00:06:29,230
Bam!
171
00:06:29,314 --> 00:06:31,853
1984 Pasadena High School.
172
00:06:31,938 --> 00:06:33,713
First Team
All Conference.
173
00:06:33,797 --> 00:06:35,715
Jerome's gonna feel
a lot more comfortable
174
00:06:35,799 --> 00:06:38,152
knowing he's not
the only baller in the house.
175
00:06:40,281 --> 00:06:41,331
Well, I guess
176
00:06:41,416 --> 00:06:44,248
everyone can reach
around your trophy
177
00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:45,903
to get to my artichoke dip.
178
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:48,118
Or we can
179
00:06:48,290 --> 00:06:50,845
just move your
artichoke dip altogether.
180
00:06:54,579 --> 00:06:57,549
Uh, guys, so excited to take
a picture with The Bus
181
00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:59,173
I changed three times.
182
00:06:59,257 --> 00:07:02,307
Huh. Are you sure
it wasn't six times?
183
00:07:02,391 --> 00:07:03,308
Hmm.
184
00:07:03,470 --> 00:07:05,243
Was it?
185
00:07:07,164 --> 00:07:08,691
Romy! Welcome.
186
00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:10,171
My man! My man!
187
00:07:10,256 --> 00:07:12,043
My man!
My man!
188
00:07:12,128 --> 00:07:13,132
My mickety, mickety...
189
00:07:13,217 --> 00:07:14,612
All right,
who-who wants drinks?
190
00:07:14,794 --> 00:07:15,446
My man?
191
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:19,946
Do I smell artichoke dip?
192
00:07:20,061 --> 00:07:21,251
My man!
193
00:07:28,430 --> 00:07:30,139
Seven.
194
00:07:31,463 --> 00:07:32,772
Just quit, Marty.
195
00:07:32,856 --> 00:07:34,462
You've already lost
all your poker money.
196
00:07:34,547 --> 00:07:35,769
Do not lose your pride.
197
00:07:35,854 --> 00:07:37,380
What? I... No!
I can't be losing.
198
00:07:37,513 --> 00:07:39,779
I am a damn rocket scientist!
199
00:07:39,863 --> 00:07:41,955
Look, Marty,
there's no shame in quitting.
200
00:07:42,039 --> 00:07:43,884
I do it with jobs
all the time.
201
00:07:44,149 --> 00:07:45,980
I've won five hands.
202
00:07:46,330 --> 00:07:47,421
And you've won zero.
203
00:07:47,506 --> 00:07:49,207
I'm no rocket scientist,
204
00:07:49,292 --> 00:07:51,123
but it sounds like you
need to call Houston.
205
00:07:51,208 --> 00:07:52,673
'Cause you got
a problem.
206
00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:54,774
Okay.
207
00:07:54,915 --> 00:07:57,057
I'll match all your chips.
208
00:07:57,313 --> 00:07:58,450
My debit card.
209
00:07:58,534 --> 00:07:59,973
Whoa, whoa, wait.
210
00:08:00,057 --> 00:08:01,627
We haven't paid rent yet.
What about your budget?
211
00:08:01,711 --> 00:08:02,930
Mind your own budget!
212
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:06,009
I'm also putting
in my Apple Watch.
213
00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:09,618
And I raise you
my last chip.
214
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,415
Okay.
215
00:08:12,641 --> 00:08:13,944
I call.
216
00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:19,253
Full house!
King, seven.
217
00:08:19,337 --> 00:08:20,454
Math wins again.
218
00:08:20,539 --> 00:08:22,239
Or, perhaps, for the first time.
219
00:08:22,412 --> 00:08:23,852
Uh, not so fast.
220
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:27,030
According to my calculations,
and this equation,
221
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:29,002
"X" equals "you lose."
222
00:08:29,086 --> 00:08:30,438
What?
223
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:31,787
Four queens.
224
00:08:31,871 --> 00:08:33,964
Oh...
225
00:08:34,048 --> 00:08:36,009
How is this possible,
226
00:08:36,093 --> 00:08:38,098
that I'm losing to somebody
related to Trey?
227
00:08:38,182 --> 00:08:40,622
But, honestly,
I'm surprised too. That's...
228
00:08:40,706 --> 00:08:41,928
Here you go, cuz.
229
00:08:42,012 --> 00:08:43,364
Thank you.
230
00:08:43,448 --> 00:08:44,563
Oh, look. Marty,
231
00:08:44,648 --> 00:08:46,728
my new Apple Watch says
it's time for you to breathe.
232
00:08:47,670 --> 00:08:49,485
My mama gave me that watch.
233
00:08:53,079 --> 00:08:56,464
All right. I know they always
called you The Bus,
234
00:08:56,548 --> 00:08:57,857
but back in the day,
235
00:08:57,941 --> 00:08:59,946
they called me The Truck.
236
00:09:00,030 --> 00:09:02,253
'cause I used to haul ass
into the end zone.
237
00:09:02,337 --> 00:09:04,446
Ha! My man!
My man.
238
00:09:04,556 --> 00:09:05,560
Ha-ha. My man!
239
00:09:05,644 --> 00:09:07,704
My m... Dave, no.
240
00:09:11,824 --> 00:09:15,135
Hey, we're outta beer
and I'm outta money.
241
00:09:15,219 --> 00:09:17,964
And Mom wasn't lying
about knowing Jerome Bettis.
242
00:09:18,048 --> 00:09:19,052
What?
243
00:09:19,136 --> 00:09:21,329
Yeah, well, Jerome
and I go way back
244
00:09:21,414 --> 00:09:23,503
to a time when Amazon
was just a jungle.
245
00:09:25,415 --> 00:09:27,420
Jerome, what was my mama
like as a kid?
246
00:09:27,536 --> 00:09:28,496
Lil' Tee Tee?
247
00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:29,620
She was a lot of fun.
248
00:09:29,705 --> 00:09:31,542
She was the best skater
in our crew.
249
00:09:31,627 --> 00:09:32,580
Except for me, of course.
250
00:09:32,665 --> 00:09:35,167
Man, please. You
know, it's funny
251
00:09:35,252 --> 00:09:36,713
how you were selling Geico,
252
00:09:36,893 --> 00:09:38,506
but whenever you got on wheels,
253
00:09:38,590 --> 00:09:39,870
your ass would crash.
254
00:09:41,095 --> 00:09:43,206
You always did talk
a lot of trash.
255
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,469
Yeah, sure.
256
00:09:44,553 --> 00:09:47,472
And I remember
you loved the movies,
257
00:09:47,556 --> 00:09:50,515
That's why we spent a lot
of time at the local drive-in.
258
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:52,956
Drive-in?
259
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:54,305
That requires a car.
260
00:09:54,389 --> 00:09:56,046
With you two alone in it.
261
00:09:56,130 --> 00:09:58,032
Yeah. And-and my car
was so small,
262
00:09:58,117 --> 00:10:00,344
she was practically
sitting on my lap.
263
00:10:01,910 --> 00:10:03,175
E-Excuse me?
264
00:10:03,260 --> 00:10:06,048
Aw, it was like a,
like a summer romance.
265
00:10:06,193 --> 00:10:07,589
Like... like Danny and Sandy.
266
00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:08,983
- Romance?
- Well...
267
00:10:09,068 --> 00:10:10,680
Grease!
We saw that together.
268
00:10:10,789 --> 00:10:12,859
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, and
Saturday Night Fever.
269
00:10:12,944 --> 00:10:15,368
It was a-a Travolta
double feature.
270
00:10:15,453 --> 00:10:16,539
Double feature?
271
00:10:16,624 --> 00:10:18,852
That's a awful lot
of lap sitting.
272
00:10:19,919 --> 00:10:21,184
Wait a minute.
273
00:10:21,409 --> 00:10:22,805
Y... You guys weren't
a couple, were you?
274
00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:24,243
No, no, no, no, no.
It was nothing like that.
275
00:10:24,327 --> 00:10:26,723
Uh, no, it was
just a teenage fling.
276
00:10:26,808 --> 00:10:27,992
Fling?
277
00:10:29,483 --> 00:10:30,875
My woman...
278
00:10:31,776 --> 00:10:33,299
...and my man?
279
00:10:35,038 --> 00:10:36,038
Oh.
280
00:10:36,176 --> 00:10:37,352
Oh, man.
281
00:10:41,523 --> 00:10:43,422
- This was fun.
- Good seeing you, Romy.
282
00:10:43,534 --> 00:10:44,899
Next time
I'm in town,
283
00:10:44,984 --> 00:10:46,493
I'm taking you guys to dinner.
284
00:10:46,578 --> 00:10:48,019
- See you, Tee Tee.
- All right, now.
285
00:10:48,176 --> 00:10:49,308
Okay.
286
00:10:50,140 --> 00:10:51,710
I'm sure you've got
to get going, man.
287
00:10:51,803 --> 00:10:54,446
Got one of those
Hall of Fame meetings to get to.
288
00:10:54,531 --> 00:10:56,811
And get that yellow jacket out
of the dry cleaners, okay?
289
00:10:56,895 --> 00:10:58,437
So drive safe, my man.
290
00:10:58,522 --> 00:10:59,697
All right?
291
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,063
Well, that was embarrassing.
292
00:11:07,148 --> 00:11:08,243
Well, yes, it was.
293
00:11:08,328 --> 00:11:10,109
You embarrassed
the hell out of me, Tina.
294
00:11:10,281 --> 00:11:11,870
I embarrassed you?
295
00:11:12,289 --> 00:11:14,618
You were the one
acting crazy tonight.
296
00:11:14,703 --> 00:11:15,923
Well, you would have, too,
297
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,439
if you would've learned
what I just learned.
298
00:11:17,523 --> 00:11:19,173
I mean, who else did you date
299
00:11:19,258 --> 00:11:20,444
that you forgot
to mention?
300
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:21,791
Barack Obama?
301
00:11:22,039 --> 00:11:23,259
Nelson Mandela?
302
00:11:23,344 --> 00:11:24,344
Ja Rule?
303
00:11:25,219 --> 00:11:27,063
I didn't forget
to mention anything.
304
00:11:27,148 --> 00:11:28,517
I was just following your
305
00:11:28,602 --> 00:11:31,492
"Don't Ask, Leave the Past
in the Past" rule.
306
00:11:31,577 --> 00:11:34,001
Well, if your past is
all up in your house
307
00:11:34,086 --> 00:11:35,767
eating your food,
then it's in the present.
308
00:11:36,773 --> 00:11:37,806
You think it's easy
309
00:11:37,891 --> 00:11:40,328
for me to hear about you
dating a famous athlete?
310
00:11:40,687 --> 00:11:44,157
You were the one who came up
with the "Don't Ask" rule.
311
00:11:44,242 --> 00:11:46,170
Look, and don't think
I didn't know
312
00:11:46,255 --> 00:11:48,866
you used to be
Mr. Player Player.
313
00:11:51,212 --> 00:11:53,384
But did I make
a big deal out of it?
314
00:11:53,469 --> 00:11:54,478
No, I did not.
315
00:11:54,562 --> 00:11:57,267
Well, I didn't make a big deal
out of your past, either, Tina,
316
00:11:57,352 --> 00:12:00,109
mainly because
I didn't think you had one.
317
00:12:02,198 --> 00:12:03,765
Look at all this,
Calvin.
318
00:12:06,766 --> 00:12:08,728
Of course I had a past!
319
00:12:08,813 --> 00:12:10,830
What, you want me
to start naming names?
320
00:12:10,915 --> 00:12:11,930
- Okay, let me just...
- Uh-uh.
321
00:12:12,014 --> 00:12:13,612
No, no, no.
See, now you're going too far.
322
00:12:13,696 --> 00:12:14,933
No, you're the one tripping
323
00:12:15,017 --> 00:12:17,642
over somebody that I went to
a movie with over 30 years ago,
324
00:12:17,727 --> 00:12:19,923
who you invited to dinner
325
00:12:20,008 --> 00:12:21,830
and then acted like a child.
326
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:22,955
- A child?
- Yes.
327
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,033
You know, nah, nah.
328
00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:25,611
Don't try to put this
on me, Tina.
329
00:12:25,696 --> 00:12:26,799
You know what, Calvin?
330
00:12:26,884 --> 00:12:28,019
I don't have time for this.
331
00:12:28,103 --> 00:12:29,803
Well, I didn't have time
for it first.
332
00:12:29,887 --> 00:12:31,065
- Well, good!
- Good!
333
00:12:31,149 --> 00:12:32,542
- Good!
- Good!
334
00:12:33,497 --> 00:12:35,661
And we cancelling Geico!
335
00:12:43,872 --> 00:12:46,819
I brought you the traditional
husband peace offering.
336
00:12:47,223 --> 00:12:49,472
Traditionally, that's jewelry.
337
00:12:51,340 --> 00:12:53,434
But I'll take the pie anyway.
338
00:12:56,348 --> 00:12:57,879
Look...
339
00:12:58,481 --> 00:13:00,786
I know it was stupid
to lie about my number.
340
00:13:01,005 --> 00:13:02,662
We had just
started dating,
341
00:13:02,833 --> 00:13:04,099
and you were
a little weirded out
342
00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:05,796
about my
"open book" policy.
343
00:13:05,881 --> 00:13:07,669
You know, whenever we
would open my book,
344
00:13:07,782 --> 00:13:09,887
you wanted to
burn all the pages.
345
00:13:10,841 --> 00:13:14,805
No, I just really liked
the chapters about us.
346
00:13:15,012 --> 00:13:16,807
Exactly. And I didn't
want to hurt you
347
00:13:16,891 --> 00:13:19,636
with my typical
Dave "oversharing."
348
00:13:19,918 --> 00:13:21,700
Especially when it was
about all the women
349
00:13:21,785 --> 00:13:25,872
who turned me into, well,
the sexual animal I am today.
350
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:31,832
An example of oversharing.
351
00:13:34,161 --> 00:13:37,957
I admit, I used to get
uncomfortable about your past.
352
00:13:38,230 --> 00:13:40,372
But I'm much more
secure now
353
00:13:40,457 --> 00:13:42,340
because of our
open-book policy.
354
00:13:42,723 --> 00:13:44,571
I'm just mad
that you lied.
355
00:13:45,790 --> 00:13:47,055
I get that.
356
00:13:47,473 --> 00:13:48,918
And... and I'm sorry.
357
00:13:49,332 --> 00:13:50,493
Thank you.
358
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,843
And while we're here,
you know, I did...
359
00:13:52,927 --> 00:13:55,075
To be totally
transparent... remember
360
00:13:55,665 --> 00:13:57,145
a seventh girl.
361
00:13:57,230 --> 00:13:59,105
She's the one who
taught me to...
362
00:13:59,980 --> 00:14:01,372
Stop talking.
363
00:14:04,591 --> 00:14:07,864
Well, I should also be
totally transparent.
364
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,770
I might've spent
some time in the Ozarks
365
00:14:10,855 --> 00:14:13,622
with
Justin Timberlake.
366
00:14:15,210 --> 00:14:16,953
Let's just say
we were, uh,
367
00:14:17,296 --> 00:14:19,037
NSYNC.
368
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,457
Okay.
369
00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:28,004
That's funny!
370
00:14:31,394 --> 00:14:33,231
Wait, for real? Justin?
371
00:14:34,576 --> 00:14:36,997
Gemma, I gotta know.
He's all over my playlist.
372
00:14:45,381 --> 00:14:46,661
Ah... Uh...
373
00:14:46,746 --> 00:14:47,934
Hey, Dad.
374
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:49,661
Did I catch you
at a bad time?
375
00:14:49,766 --> 00:14:51,661
No, son.
Never better.
376
00:14:52,144 --> 00:14:53,022
Good.
377
00:14:53,107 --> 00:14:54,107
Uh...
378
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:55,567
I was a little embarrassed
379
00:14:55,652 --> 00:14:56,897
to bring this up in front of
Jerome Bettis, but...
380
00:14:56,981 --> 00:14:58,734
Don't say that name
in that house.
381
00:14:58,819 --> 00:15:01,043
Don't say that name
on this porch.
382
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:03,043
Right.
383
00:15:03,128 --> 00:15:06,221
Well, see, I-I created
this poker system
384
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:07,702
based on math, that, uh...
385
00:15:07,787 --> 00:15:09,705
All right.
How much did you lose?
386
00:15:09,894 --> 00:15:12,465
Let's just say I'd have to cash
out some Bitcoin to make rent.
387
00:15:12,659 --> 00:15:14,881
Oh, no, not your Bitcoin.
388
00:15:15,043 --> 00:15:17,220
I don't care.
Pay me.
389
00:15:19,693 --> 00:15:21,075
Okay, all right.
390
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,536
Quit playing.
I got your back, man.
391
00:15:22,621 --> 00:15:23,929
Oh. Thanks, Dad.
392
00:15:24,073 --> 00:15:25,935
But you're gonna have
to clean up this yard,
393
00:15:26,020 --> 00:15:28,504
wax the cars
and scrape off the grill.
394
00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:29,940
Okay, all right.
395
00:15:30,024 --> 00:15:31,457
Fair enough. I respect that.
396
00:15:31,662 --> 00:15:33,715
You know,
I'm glad you're my dad, man.
397
00:15:33,936 --> 00:15:36,159
Even though I probably could
have been a famous athlete
398
00:15:36,291 --> 00:15:37,879
if Jerome Bettis
had been my father.
399
00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:41,012
Me, too, son.
400
00:15:41,338 --> 00:15:43,184
Even though
I could have been retired
401
00:15:43,269 --> 00:15:45,872
if... Patrick Mahomes was my son.
402
00:15:49,565 --> 00:15:51,723
Hey, Calvin, I'm
returning your pie tin.
403
00:15:52,130 --> 00:15:53,526
How are you
and Tina doing?
404
00:15:53,743 --> 00:15:54,864
I don't know.
405
00:15:54,966 --> 00:15:57,278
Ask Romy Rome.
406
00:15:58,122 --> 00:15:59,622
So, you're still mad at her?
407
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:02,101
Look, you just don't get over
something like that.
408
00:16:02,186 --> 00:16:03,872
The man is in
the Hall of Fame.
409
00:16:03,971 --> 00:16:06,103
Plus, I've napped
in his jersey.
410
00:16:09,073 --> 00:16:11,031
Okay, so you're
really mad.
411
00:16:12,955 --> 00:16:14,525
But you know what,
you're right.
412
00:16:14,789 --> 00:16:17,186
In fact,
I'm still mad at Dave.
413
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,293
Gemma, come on.
414
00:16:19,629 --> 00:16:21,614
Is the number
really that important?
415
00:16:21,699 --> 00:16:24,832
Yes! I'm not sure
I can ever forgive him.
416
00:16:25,682 --> 00:16:26,991
Okay. You know what?
417
00:16:27,076 --> 00:16:29,342
This sounds
a little extreme, so...
418
00:16:29,558 --> 00:16:31,043
tell me what's really going on.
419
00:16:31,128 --> 00:16:33,512
I can't stop thinking
about those other women.
420
00:16:33,783 --> 00:16:35,658
Well, that's why I created
421
00:16:35,742 --> 00:16:38,008
"Don't Ask,
Leave Your Past in the Past."
422
00:16:38,092 --> 00:16:41,751
Also known as "Don't Ask
or That's Yo Ass."
423
00:16:43,445 --> 00:16:45,676
I mean, I was
his eighth choice.
424
00:16:45,761 --> 00:16:48,278
I bet he'd love to leave
me for number seven.
425
00:16:48,363 --> 00:16:50,575
She's probably
some doctor type
426
00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:54,325
who's really good
at full-body exams...
427
00:16:54,499 --> 00:16:56,450
if you know
what I mean.
428
00:16:57,332 --> 00:16:58,634
I do.
429
00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:01,317
But that's not Dave.
430
00:17:01,659 --> 00:17:05,887
Dave is the guy that crocheted
us all mittens for Christmas.
431
00:17:07,879 --> 00:17:10,067
Look, Dave married you.
432
00:17:10,534 --> 00:17:12,234
He loves you.
433
00:17:12,514 --> 00:17:13,848
Those other women
don't matter.
434
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:16,223
You have nothing
to be insecure about.
435
00:17:16,645 --> 00:17:18,247
Do you really
believe that?
436
00:17:18,332 --> 00:17:19,668
You're damn right
I do.
437
00:17:20,816 --> 00:17:22,497
Then act like it.
438
00:17:25,646 --> 00:17:27,528
Ooh, mic drop.
439
00:17:29,998 --> 00:17:31,849
Oh, my God,
I cracked my screen.
440
00:17:34,685 --> 00:17:35,732
Hey, babe.
441
00:17:35,824 --> 00:17:37,115
I don't want to talk.
442
00:17:38,239 --> 00:17:41,764
Look, I was thinking that
I might owe you an apology.
443
00:17:42,793 --> 00:17:44,099
Keep talking.
444
00:17:45,637 --> 00:17:48,169
I'm sorry that I got jealous.
445
00:17:50,642 --> 00:17:51,826
What were you thinking?
446
00:17:51,911 --> 00:17:53,037
I don't know.
447
00:17:53,576 --> 00:17:54,568
I guess I wasn't.
448
00:17:54,653 --> 00:17:56,005
I just...
449
00:17:56,090 --> 00:17:57,701
I got a little insecure that...
450
00:17:57,942 --> 00:17:59,818
I thought maybe you thought
451
00:18:00,174 --> 00:18:01,831
you made the wrong choice.
452
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:03,263
Wrong choice?
453
00:18:03,348 --> 00:18:04,787
I chose The Truck.
454
00:18:05,222 --> 00:18:06,792
The Truck is built
for anything.
455
00:18:06,876 --> 00:18:09,012
Yeah, but he's The Bus.
456
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:11,283
You could have been Mrs. Bus.
457
00:18:12,330 --> 00:18:13,756
You know?
458
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:15,453
Living the good life.
459
00:18:15,537 --> 00:18:16,976
Front-row seats to the game,
460
00:18:17,060 --> 00:18:19,497
private jets,
flashy jewelry.
461
00:18:22,207 --> 00:18:24,070
Calvin, what are you
talking about?
462
00:18:24,154 --> 00:18:25,840
I am living my best life.
463
00:18:25,925 --> 00:18:28,739
Yeah, but being married to
a guy that owns a body shop
464
00:18:28,855 --> 00:18:32,348
doesn't get you on The Real
Housewives of Pittsburgh.
465
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,879
Calvin, I have had
lots of chances
466
00:18:34,964 --> 00:18:36,360
at living that life,
467
00:18:36,445 --> 00:18:38,665
but I chose you
and the life you offered.
468
00:18:40,284 --> 00:18:43,114
What do you mean you had
"lots of chances"?
469
00:18:44,843 --> 00:18:47,370
Oh, you thought
you were playing about Ja Rule.
470
00:18:47,455 --> 00:18:48,653
What? Tina...
471
00:18:48,738 --> 00:18:50,785
I-I'm just playing,
I'm just playing.
472
00:18:52,748 --> 00:18:53,989
Calvin...
473
00:18:54,278 --> 00:18:57,676
You know, nothing can replace
the chemistry we have.
474
00:18:57,846 --> 00:18:58,926
Do you know
how I feel
475
00:18:59,011 --> 00:19:00,622
every time you walk
into a room?
476
00:19:02,580 --> 00:19:04,965
I'm guessing...
pretty good?
477
00:19:05,464 --> 00:19:07,338
After 32 years of marriage,
478
00:19:07,423 --> 00:19:10,215
I still light up.
Every time.
479
00:19:12,136 --> 00:19:12,856
I feel bad.
480
00:19:12,941 --> 00:19:14,918
I guess I should've told you
about Jerome.
481
00:19:15,856 --> 00:19:17,129
Nah.
482
00:19:17,255 --> 00:19:18,956
No, the rule is the rule.
483
00:19:19,166 --> 00:19:21,040
And I still think
it's the right way to go.
484
00:19:21,125 --> 00:19:22,999
I mean, who cares
about our past
485
00:19:23,083 --> 00:19:24,762
when we're
each other's forever?
486
00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:26,082
Mmm.
487
00:19:26,167 --> 00:19:27,082
I love you.
488
00:19:28,545 --> 00:19:29,881
I think it was
kind of sexy, though,
489
00:19:29,965 --> 00:19:31,682
with you being so jealous.
490
00:19:31,767 --> 00:19:33,206
Made me feel like
I still got it.
491
00:19:33,304 --> 00:19:35,153
Oh, trust me,
492
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:36,816
you still got it.
493
00:19:38,534 --> 00:19:40,405
And I still want it.
494
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:44,548
Now come on,
let's go get unholy.
495
00:19:44,633 --> 00:19:46,156
Come on.
Okay.
496
00:19:51,487 --> 00:19:53,526
Thanks for taking me
to the movies, Calvin.
497
00:19:53,611 --> 00:19:55,518
Anytime, Lil' Tee Tee.
498
00:19:58,443 --> 00:20:00,784
Ooh! This is
my favorite part.
499
00:20:00,869 --> 00:20:02,796
He is so cute!
500
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,068
No!
501
00:20:20,213 --> 00:20:22,373
Captioned by Media Access Group
at WGBH access.wgbh.org
502
00:20:22,465 --> 00:20:24,639
Synchronized by srjanapala
34572
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