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1
00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:09,068
The ship is totally repaired!
2
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,820
We can finally leave this shithole planet
3
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,614
and find a good one
that Pupa can terraform.
4
00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,157
Then we can grow more Shlorpians
5
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,659
from the seeds we have stored
in the cryopods.
6
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:19,162
So long, Earth suckers.
Enjoy the melting ice caps.
7
00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:20,872
I hope the combustion engine was worth it.
8
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:24,042
‐ Goodbye, oxygen‐rich atmosphere.
Goodbye, puppies.
9
00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:26,836
Goodbye, Maroon 5!
10
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:30,381
‐ I'm glad we're finally going to a planet
that doesn't have stupid rules,
11
00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:32,634
like saying "excuse me" after you fart.
12
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,177
You're supposed to say it before you fart.
13
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,386
‐ This fucking sucks!
14
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:38,431
If I was team leader, we'd be getting
butter‐drunk at Harry P‐Land
15
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:39,724
and loading up on wands.
16
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,810
‐ Well, tough titties, you're not.
Everyone, strap in.
17
00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:43,228
I'm going to activate the launch.
18
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:44,604
Jesse! What‐‐ what the hell is that?
19
00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:46,439
‐ M&Ms with the olives inside.
20
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,024
They're oily and sour.
‐ Give me that!
21
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,484
Every ounce of weight matters!
22
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:51,069
Something this small
could set us off course
23
00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:52,654
and straight into the sun.
24
00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,113
We're back to equilibrium.
25
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:55,347
Launching now.
26
00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:59,101
It's working! Wait.
27
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:01,704
Geek Squad, Michael speaking.
28
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:04,249
‐ This is Korvo the alien.
I'm calling to say fuck you, Michael.
29
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:06,251
You've been working on my Lenovo
for too many weeks now,
30
00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:07,961
and you can just shove it
up your ass, Michael.
31
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:09,546
The Judge said you're weren't
supposed to call here anymore.
32
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,297
‐ Fuck you and fuck your whole squad,
33
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:12,423
and I fucked your mom.
34
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:13,447
Hey‐‐
35
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,961
‐ No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
36
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:32,110
No, the balance was off.
37
00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:33,903
Did someone accidentally have
a penny in their pocket
38
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,405
or a contact lens or a feather?
39
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,699
‐ I might have hidden
some stuff on the ship.
40
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:39,391
‐ Did it weigh more than a gram?
41
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:43,204
What the hell?
Bags of sand, bowling balls,
42
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:46,749
Congo pinball machine, a lifetime supply
of Silly Putty eggs?
43
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:50,795
You needed to bring the entire series run
of Cops on DVD and VHS!
44
00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,922
‐ I didn't know what kind of player
the hotel would have.
45
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:56,050
‐ There is no hotel! Terry, you idiot!
It's‐‐ it's a empty planet.
46
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:57,760
This puts us right back
to where we were a year ago.
47
00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,680
‐ Oh my God, make a bigger deal
about it, ya poopy!
48
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,432
‐ Yay! We're still trapped on Earth!
49
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,875
‐ Excuse me.
50
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:08,229
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
51
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,297
Until the asteroid hit.
52
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,485
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa
53
00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:15,278
and escaped into, the space,
54
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,971
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
55
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,576
We crashed on Earth, stranding us
on an already overpopulated planet.
56
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,286
That's right,
I've been talking this whole time.
57
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,038
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
My name's Korvo.
58
00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:27,499
This is‐‐ this is my show.
I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
59
00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:28,917
This is ridiculous.
60
00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:30,877
I hate Earth.
It's a horrible home.
61
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,629
People are stupid.
They're always thirsty.
62
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,297
But they don't drink their own piss,
I don't get it.
63
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,072
Just drink your own piss.
64
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:47,268
‐ Oh yeah, they're making
Succession cereal with all the shapes:
65
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:50,063
Romans, Logans, and Purple Shivs!
66
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,481
‐ The autopilot's completely destroyed.
67
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,858
We're going to have
to re‐pilot the whole thing.
68
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,027
What is the distress detector doing
in the freezer?
69
00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,695
‐ Oh, it wouldn't stop beeping.
It was driving me nuts.
70
00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,948
‐ It only beeps when it receives
a Shlorpian distress call!
71
00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:01,491
That means there's aliens
from the home world
72
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,659
somewhere in this quadrant!
73
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:03,785
How long has this been beeping?
74
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,995
‐ A year? Or a year and a half, maybe?
75
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,339
‐ Damn it, Terry! All right,
come on, we have to help them!
76
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,876
They're probably on an M‐class planet
somewhere in the Gamma sector.
77
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,127
What the hell, they're on Earth!
78
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:16,363
‐ Looks like the Solar Opposites
are going to London!
79
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,634
‐ I can't believe we get to use
the hover platform.
80
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,052
I thought that was a one‐time thing.
81
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:23,888
‐ The Solar Opposites
are hovering to London!
82
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:25,348
‐ Would you stop saying that.
W‐what does that even mean?
83
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,183
‐ Well, I just think we should be called
"The Solar Opposites."
84
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,434
‐ No, that's stupid.
85
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:29,960
Wait, where's Yumyulack and the Pupa?
86
00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,522
Damn it! How are we still so bad at this?
87
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,107
Watching the Pupa is
your whole job, Terry.
88
00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:36,860
‐ Don't worry, I'm sure
Yumyulack's keeping him real safe.
89
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:37,902
What could go wrong?
90
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,738
‐ I guess as long as he doesn't let
the Pupa watch Robocop again,
91
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:41,948
it'll... be fine.
92
00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:43,491
‐ Dead or alive, you're coming with me!
93
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,267
Suck my shitty tits, Robocop!
94
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:56,171
‐ Jaeden, Aaden, Braden.
Still as cool as last year, I see.
95
00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:58,214
‐ We are, but our internal politics
have shifted.
96
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,133
This year, Jaeden is our leader.
I was demoted.
97
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,467
‐ You know, my adults are out of town.
98
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,887
If you guys want to hang at my place,
we could drink too much
99
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,139
and maybe hurt our chances
of living past 65.
100
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,975
‐ A witch said I'm gonna die at 25 anyway,
so I guess I'm down.
101
00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:11,060
‐ Silence. Your alpha speaks.
102
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,563
Yumyulack, it'd be cool to throw
a sleepover party.
103
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,690
I decree that all cool kids will attend.
104
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,066
‐ But I thought you hated me?
105
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,277
‐ Dunking on you was a policy
of the Aaden era.
106
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:20,987
Since then, we all went
to Christian summer camp
107
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,739
and realized it's cool to be inclusive.
108
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,782
It was Christian Slater's volleyball camp.
109
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,934
This'll be the coolest party of the year!
110
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,377
‐ The Solar Opposites
have made it to London!
111
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,545
All right, shut up, follow me.
112
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:40,173
‐ Oh, so now he's calling us
"the Solar Opposites"?
113
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:42,091
‐ Oh, I cannot wait to meet
these new aliens.
114
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,760
Do you think they've been
studying hydron levels
115
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,136
or stratospheric particulates?
116
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,764
‐ Wow, both sound so cool, it's hard
to pick. Hopefully both?
117
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,414
‐ Oh my god, that would be amazing.
118
00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:55,629
That's odd.
119
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:59,466
Apparently, they live in the sewer
for some reason.
120
00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:08,851
Damn, look at that ship. It's... nice.
121
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:12,229
Hello? Is anyone here in distress?
122
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:15,107
‐ What are you doing? Get in here!
123
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:17,961
We were following a distress call?
124
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,879
Doesn't seem like
you're in that much distress.
125
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:23,258
‐ I am Kabronius,
team leader of this ship.
126
00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:25,510
‐ This is Zelvod, my co‐team leader,
127
00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:28,137
and our replicants Tivo and Damasculon.
128
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,722
‐ Are you crazy? Where are your masks?
129
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,475
‐ I didn't know we needed masks.
I've been breathing air for over a year!
130
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,561
No,
131
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:37,272
the face masks are so
you can hide from the Terrans!
132
00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:39,232
‐ We use these to walk amongst the Terrans
133
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:41,317
so they don't capture and dissect us.
134
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,319
‐ Where we live in America,
we don't wear masks.
135
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,988
We're noticeable almost all of the time.
136
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,906
‐ Yeah, our ship sticks out
of the top of our house,
137
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:50,034
and one time we covered
the whole town in ice lava.
138
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,286
So, they know us.
139
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:54,497
‐ B‐b‐but, you know, we also spend
a lot of time hiding from Terrans
140
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:55,498
as well.
‐ No, we don't.
141
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,584
‐ Aren't you scared that
the government will kidnap you?
142
00:05:57,608 --> 00:06:00,420
‐ Yes, all the time, we have
to be very careful around Terrans.
143
00:06:00,444 --> 00:06:02,547
They're the aliens, a‐a‐am I right?
144
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:05,175
‐ I never thought of it like that.
They really are.
145
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,093
‐ Oh, oh, can we show them
the neutron array?
146
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,761
Please?
‐ Okay, okay.
147
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,222
It is very nice. We have
a very nice neutron array.
148
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,473
‐ Who calls it "terra"?
149
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,708
‐ Yeah, these dorks are real Korvos.
150
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,980
‐ And of course, the end
of any good ship tour,
151
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,065
the havacord meniscus.
152
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:22,275
‐ Is this dual sided?
153
00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:25,820
‐ It is! This guy knows his stuff.
154
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,363
I wish I had a dual meniscus,
155
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,656
ours only emits from the left.
156
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,366
So great. Hey, guys.
157
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,203
Do you wanna go eat tikka masala
and see some castles?
158
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,746
Maybe, Ramsay some Gordons?
159
00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:37,165
‐ Ooh yes! Let's go meet Pippa.
Nobody gets her.
160
00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:39,918
‐ Oh, no, no, no. We survive
by creeping out at night
161
00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:41,252
to find food in dumpsters.
162
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:43,755
If we get spotted, we erase people's minds
with a memory zapper.
163
00:06:43,779 --> 00:06:45,507
‐ Eventually, we might infiltrate
the government
164
00:06:45,531 --> 00:06:46,966
and try brainwashing some people.
165
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,952
‐ Wow, then you could go work
in the government.
166
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,222
‐ This ship is so much nicer than ours,
167
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:54,807
not to mention our house is cluttered
with toys and magazines.
168
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:57,936
We only allow Shlorpian items
to stay on the ship,
169
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,270
it reminds us of home.
170
00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:01,689
‐ You hear that, Terry?
‐ "You hear that Terry?" Shut up, bitch.
171
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:04,275
‐ We were about to start
our hourly prayers. Care to join?
172
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:06,110
We only pray on Easter
173
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,737
or when we think we're about to die.
174
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,322
And even then, we don't really mean it.
175
00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:11,407
‐ I call dibs on the first
three hundred psalms!
176
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,431
‐ No fair!
177
00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:16,579
‐ It is so good to know that
we aren't alone in this dangerous world.
178
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:19,123
Look, if you ever need
a Shlorpian place to stay,
179
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,208
our hatch is open.
180
00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:23,253
We have tons of room
and all the eel trash you can eat.
181
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:25,171
‐ Thank you. And may I just say‐‐
182
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:27,549
Can we please go already?
183
00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:29,634
‐ Sorry. I just wanted
to thank you for being‐‐
184
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,052
‐ Korvo, I'm bored!
185
00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,595
‐ Bye! Have fun!
186
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:36,790
‐ Looks like the Solar Opposites
are going to America!
187
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,417
Next time we're flying!
‐ No! I like the platform!
188
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,774
‐ Can you believe those weirdo
British aliens pray every hour?
189
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:47,110
Next time, let's just ignore
the distress signal.
190
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:50,321
Bunch of Jar Jar dinks.
Meesa gonna hide from Terrans!
191
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:52,657
‐ Those Shlorpians were exactly
the way we are supposed to be.
192
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:55,118
‐ Sneaking out at night
to dumpster dive for trash food?
193
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,452
Meesa gonna eat trash!
194
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,788
‐ They're basic.
We're extra, they're basic.
195
00:07:58,812 --> 00:07:59,415
‐ They were not!
196
00:07:59,439 --> 00:08:02,167
‐ I'm honestly surprised
they didn't have a flying saucer.
197
00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:04,961
Alone Loser Fucks.
198
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,713
‐ They honor the proud traditions
of the home world
199
00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:08,173
and from now on, so do we.
200
00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,341
We're all meditating around
the obsidian candle tonight
201
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:11,384
as a family.
202
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:13,136
‐ Yeah, right, pass.
‐ Hard pass.
203
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,305
‐ This is important! It's who we are!
It's our heritage.
204
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:16,639
‐ You've gone just as native as we have.
205
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:19,309
‐ Yeah, you like Pizza Hut stuffed crust
as much as we do.
206
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,186
You even bought a gym membership
and you never went.
207
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:23,062
‐ You're sort of like
a fake alien, you know.
208
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,630
‐ You two are fake aliens!
209
00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:28,651
What are you doing?
210
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,278
‐ I'm moving to ye olde London town
211
00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:32,387
to live with the aliens
that appreciate me!
212
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,241
‐ That guy really turns
on a dime, doesn't he?
213
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:36,493
‐ He's tough to manage.
214
00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:40,163
‐ We're so happy you've decided
to be a part of our mission, Korvo.
215
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:44,584
‐ You seem like a Shlorpian lasered
from the same zarb as us.
216
00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:47,462
‐ Oh, it's nice to be around a team
that's preserved our culture
217
00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:49,506
and keeps our culture preserved,
you know.
218
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:52,842
‐ Just think of this ship as
a comforting piece of the home world.
219
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:56,262
Now let's circle around the grangnar
and hit ourselves with ropes.
220
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,413
‐ That sounds wonderful.
221
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,728
Oh, it hurts so good.
222
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:04,813
‐ Are you sure‐‐
223
00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:06,940
‐ your old teammates are okay with you‐‐
224
00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:08,358
- ‐ joining us?
225
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,276
‐ Something tells me‐‐
226
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,403
‐ they're already regretting
being dicks to me.
227
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:15,240
‐ I'm never taking off
my Poe Dameron jammies ever again!
228
00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:17,826
Hey, what are you going to do
now that Korvo's dead, I mean gone?
229
00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:20,745
‐ I adopted a high‐maintenance
elderly dog!
230
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:23,331
We're going to have to spend a lot of time
cleaning out her ears,
231
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,458
putting lotion in her butt,
squeezing the anals,
232
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,943
all the responsibility
I've been begging for!
233
00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:31,339
‐ You wanna play with the gold machine?
234
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:33,323
‐ Korvo would hate that, let's do it!
235
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,228
Korvo would be so mad
that I'm rolling in all this gold!
236
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:48,815
‐ I just canceled the family cell plan
and switched us over to Boost Mobile!
237
00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:50,441
It comes with Crackle Plus!
238
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:53,444
They got all of Adam Sandler's
friends' movies but none of his.
239
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,446
‐ What the hell? I thought
you guys were in London.
240
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,949
‐ Korvo left the family,
and I got a basset hound.
241
00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:58,868
‐ I don't give a shit!
242
00:09:58,892 --> 00:10:01,661
A bunch of cool kids are coming over
for a sleepover this weekend,
243
00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:02,996
so can you please just be chill?
244
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,939
‐ Hey, maybe they'll want
to have a gold fight!
245
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,442
‐ Guys, don't embarrass me!
No giving out gold!
246
00:10:14,907 --> 00:10:17,927
This is amazing!
We're gonna be eating trash for a week!
247
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,971
‐ I didn't see any Terran soldiers,
248
00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:21,472
I think we avoided detection.
249
00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:25,042
Just a thought,
but maybe they aren't hunting you?
250
00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:28,438
‐ Yeah, right, that sounds like
human lover talk.
251
00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:31,816
Hey, Korvo, why don't you recite
the holy number before we dig in?
252
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,218
‐ Oh, it's an honor!
253
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,363
Eight, seven, five.
254
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:41,743
Z‐zero... it's zero
and then... f‐four?
255
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:44,412
No, three. I'm sorry, I‐I haven't said
the holy number for a while.
256
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:45,914
‐ What, you don't say it at home?
257
00:10:45,938 --> 00:10:47,832
‐ Of course I do, it's just‐‐
L‐let me think.
258
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:48,958
Eight, seven, four‐‐
259
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,919
No, five, seven‐‐
260
00:10:50,943 --> 00:10:53,171
‐ You sound like a sproutling!
‐ "Fuh‐fuh‐fuh four?"
261
00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:54,506
‐ It's a non‐repeating number.
262
00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:56,090
‐ Oh, you really have gone native.
263
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:59,761
‐ Oh no. Am I the "Terry" of this team?
No, that's impossible.
264
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:03,223
‐ Are you narrating to yourself
like you're the star of a TV show?
265
00:11:03,247 --> 00:11:05,165
‐ Oh god, I am the Terry!
266
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,853
‐ Jesse! Where do we keep money?
267
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:11,272
We have a huge Postmates bill
from ordering all those ketchup packets.
268
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:12,774
‐ Can't we just use the gold machine?
269
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:14,442
‐ What's with you,
are you poisoned?
270
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:17,885
The dog is so high maintenance,
I didn't sleep at all.
271
00:11:18,513 --> 00:11:20,532
Noooo!
272
00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:22,367
It thinks I'm a toy.
273
00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:23,535
But I'm not.
274
00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:25,495
I just look like one!
275
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,539
‐ Aw, man, the whole thing
just turned to gold!
276
00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:29,123
How am I supposed to make gold now?
277
00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:30,208
Stupid piece of crap.
278
00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:32,126
‐ Hey! This is Andrew from Postmates!
279
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,461
You owe me fifty thousand dollars!
280
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:35,505
‐ When did they get
so intense about billing?
281
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:38,089
‐ Turns out it's actually pretty hard
to get your side hustle on.
282
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:41,553
Without Korvo here to fix
our gold machine or fight our creditors,
283
00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:43,328
I guess I gotta find a job.
284
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,851
‐ The customer comes in,
they pick their cookie,
285
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,978
they pick their ookie,
you weigh it, then you charge 'em.
286
00:11:50,002 --> 00:11:51,062
‐ Yeah, when do I get paid?
287
00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:54,858
‐ End of the month, but, but you get
free ookie after closing
288
00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:56,522
'cause it gets crusty if we don't use it.
289
00:11:57,593 --> 00:11:59,928
‐ Hey, stop limping the biscuits!
You have to pay for that!
290
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:04,033
‐ K‐Kabronius, c‐can I talk
to you for a second?
291
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,785
‐ Well, of course, Korvo, what's up?
292
00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:08,621
‐ I‐I‐I want this team to accept me
as a dedicated Shlorpian.
293
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:11,332
Is there any role I can fill?
D‐d‐do you need a ship repair guy?
294
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:14,586
‐ What we need is a Pupa specialist.
295
00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:17,881
‐ Where's your Pupa?
I‐I‐I could try that. I‐I could do that.
296
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,632
‐ We don't have one.
297
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:20,717
‐ W‐what happened to it?
298
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:22,510
‐ We never had one to begin with.
299
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:24,304
We left before they were fully designed.
300
00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:25,388
Rich people don't wait for anything.
301
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,849
‐ You weren't assigned a Pupa
when you escaped the home world?
302
00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:30,143
‐ No, it went a little differently for us.
303
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:32,353
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
304
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,106
Some Shlorpians were workers,
bred for duty and servitude.
305
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:36,066
What? We were?
306
00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:38,151
Others were an unseen ruling class
307
00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:40,153
of wealthy leisure addicts.
308
00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:42,780
Us rich aliens were given a heads‐up
about the asteroid
309
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,574
about a month before it hit.
310
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:48,411
We bought expensive ships
and left way, way, way in advance.
311
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,705
We landed on an already populated planet
312
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:54,167
and have been waiting for one
of the Pupa crews to terraform it
313
00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:56,920
so we can get back to being rich.
314
00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:59,380
‐ I've never heard of rich,
non‐working Shlorpians.
315
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:00,590
‐ That's why it worked so great.
316
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:03,301
‐ If you don't have a Pupa,
then why do you need a specialist?
317
00:13:03,325 --> 00:13:04,636
‐ We need a Pupa.
318
00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:07,972
Terry's clearly gone native,
he can't be a good guardian.
319
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:10,850
I mean, wouldn't the Pupa be happier
with true Shlorpians,
320
00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:13,061
terraforming a fresh planet?
321
00:13:13,085 --> 00:13:14,062
‐ It does sound better.
322
00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:16,397
‐ We want you to rescue your Pupa,
323
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:19,108
bring it to us,
so we can have a new life.
324
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,736
‐ A new Shlorpian life.
325
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,405
‐ I‐I'll do it.
First, we must Pupa‐proof the ship.
326
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:25,949
He likes to stick his nub in sockets.
327
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:27,516
He will eat anything that's blue.
328
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,161
‐ Man, I hate working at Ookie Cookie.
329
00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:32,914
It is way more demeaning
than the name implies.
330
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:35,041
And these Poe Dameron jammies
are starting to stink.
331
00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:36,584
‐ I think the basset hound hates me.
332
00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:39,838
It makes me wear this collar
and keeps burying me in the backyard.
333
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:40,904
‐ That's it!
334
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,216
Okay, look. If we dress
and act like Korvo,
335
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,093
maybe we'll be better
at taking care of ourselves.
336
00:13:45,117 --> 00:13:47,470
‐ So we have to repair the ship
and complain a lot?
337
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:48,930
Why did you say "that's it"?
338
00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:50,640
‐ Oh, it's just always what I say
when I think of something.
339
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:52,207
Let's get to work.
340
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:56,187
Okay, what would Korvo say?
341
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:58,231
"Terry! Stop sucking on cereal
and having fun!"
342
00:13:58,255 --> 00:14:00,358
'No way, you're not my dad."
"Do what I fuckin' say!"
343
00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:02,152
"I'll be in my room!"
‐ I hate this.
344
00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:03,903
‐ There you go,
now you're sounding like Korvo.
345
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,905
‐ All my cool friends
are three hours late.
346
00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:07,782
I think I gave them the wrong address!
347
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:10,642
I'm taking the Yeet Detector
and going out to find them.
348
00:14:11,435 --> 00:14:13,663
Yeet. Yeet. Yeet.
349
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,415
‐ Terry hates dealing
with the Pupa anyway.
350
00:14:15,439 --> 00:14:16,773
He's going to be so happy.
351
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,753
Terry? W‐why did I have to BoostTime you?
352
00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,255
Did you sign up with Boost Mobile?
353
00:14:22,279 --> 00:14:24,257
‐ Yes, it's just one of many mistakes
we've made since you left!
354
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:26,759
‐ Korvo, we messed up.
We really need you and miss you,
355
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:28,636
and I'm afraid I'm going
to get eaten by a dog.
356
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,680
‐ What dog? I‐I told you
no dogs in the house
357
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,807
until I figure out how to make them
see me as the alpha!
358
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:34,392
Are you guys wearing ceremonial garb?
359
00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:36,311
‐ Please come home. You were right.
You were right!
360
00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:38,271
‐ We'll be better, Korvo! We miss you!
361
00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:39,564
‐ You really miss me?
362
00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:41,232
And if I came home, you wouldn't shame me
363
00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:43,109
for not knowing
the sacred non‐repeating number?
364
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:45,153
‐ No. What the fuck are you talking about?
365
00:14:45,177 --> 00:14:46,237
No, we need your help.
366
00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:48,323
We're pieces of shit without you!
367
00:14:48,347 --> 00:14:50,366
‐ Wow. Admitting you're wrong,
begging me to help,
368
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,869
calling yourselves pieces of shit,
this is what I've always wanted!
369
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,811
I'll be home soon, stay miserable!
370
00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:57,105
Yeet, yeet, yeet, yeet, yeet‐‐
371
00:14:58,065 --> 00:15:01,586
‐ Jaeden! You guys are
accidentally partying at the wrong house!
372
00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:03,463
‐ Aw, man. He found us.
373
00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:06,090
‐ Nobody wants to go to a sleepover
with an ugly blue alien
374
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,383
that smells like a penis.
375
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:10,553
I told you to have that sleepover
so you wouldn't find out about our party.
376
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,639
‐ But... you said I was cool.
377
00:15:12,663 --> 00:15:14,349
‐ Oh, you're not, you suck.
378
00:15:14,373 --> 00:15:15,850
And to add some injury to insult,
379
00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,709
fuck you, you little blue bitch!
380
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:23,441
‐ Korvo! Ready to scoop up the Pupa?
381
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:25,318
‐ I've changed my mind,
you can't have the Pupa.
382
00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:26,569
But, isn't Terry an idiot?
383
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:29,614
‐ Yes, but he's a part of my team.
And it's my job to lead them.
384
00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:30,949
‐ What about the plan?
385
00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:34,327
When will you terraform so we can
get back to living our secret rich lives?
386
00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:35,745
‐ You'll just have to keep doing
what you're doing
387
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,688
and wait for the Pupa
to evolve just like us.
388
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,315
K‐Kabronius! What the hell!
389
00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:42,127
Let me out of here!
390
00:15:42,151 --> 00:15:44,278
‐ No! That Pupa belongs to us!
391
00:15:44,862 --> 00:15:46,756
‐ You're heavy.
‐ Fuck you.
392
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,324
Don't you touch my Pupa,
you rich fucks!
393
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,179
Let me out of here!
394
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:56,975
‐ The Pupa will be happier
in a team of real Shlorpians.
395
00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:59,144
‐ Fuck you, Zelvod!
You're a piece of shit! You hear me?
396
00:15:59,168 --> 00:16:01,252
Fuck all of you!
You're a bunch of hacky ALFs!
397
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:11,489
Damn it! Wait, the sacred number.
398
00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:14,016
Eight, five, nine, four, two‐‐
399
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:17,227
‐ Pupa detected, coordinates locked.
400
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,415
‐ Five, two, damn it, six!
401
00:16:20,439 --> 00:16:22,750
Ha! I knew that stupid number
the whole time!
402
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:24,294
Who's an idiot now?
403
00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:26,445
Fuck! Eight, five,
seven, nine, four, two‐‐
404
00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:31,009
‐ Alien climbing up out of the sewer, huh?
405
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:33,761
What a time to be alive!
406
00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:35,680
Welcome to the UK.
‐ Which way to the Ferris wheel?
407
00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:38,332
‐ Take you forever on foot, love.
Come on, I'll give you a ride.
408
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,330
I thought he was going to roll it
like a big wheel,
409
00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:04,608
but I guess that lack of creativity
is why I'm just a cop.
410
00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:14,719
‐ Give us your Pupa!
411
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:15,720
‐ Okay, why?
412
00:17:15,744 --> 00:17:18,330
‐ Talking is getting us nowhere.
Lethal force!
413
00:17:24,253 --> 00:17:26,356
‐ Fuck you, you're never
gonna get our Pupa.
414
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:28,382
Activate auto defenses!
415
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:47,609
‐ On my count, unleash sci‐fi hell!
416
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:50,946
Three, two, one‐‐
417
00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:02,767
‐ Jesus, shit. That was
the craziest battle I've ever been in.
418
00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:04,269
And all in one unbroken take?
419
00:18:04,293 --> 00:18:06,271
That must have cost a million dollars!
420
00:18:06,295 --> 00:18:08,773
‐ Give us the Pupa
and we'll stop shooting at you.
421
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:11,091
‐ Let's just blast him and take the Pupa.
422
00:18:16,555 --> 00:18:18,116
‐ Stop, stop! You can have the Pupa,
423
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:19,868
but we need to tell you
how to take care of it.
424
00:18:19,892 --> 00:18:21,661
If it dies, you won't get
to be rich and lazy.
425
00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:23,437
‐ All right, fine! You have 30 seconds!
426
00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:26,416
‐ Korvo! The Pupa's like our baby.
427
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:27,584
You can't give him away.
428
00:18:27,608 --> 00:18:28,901
‐ Shut up. I'm team leader.
429
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:31,796
And these guys have never seen
a Pupa before.
430
00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:32,339
‐ So?
431
00:18:32,363 --> 00:18:35,114
‐ In case this doesn't work, go hide
under the covers with this gun.
432
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:44,225
Here's the Pupa. Tha‐tha‐that's
the whole Pupa, right there.
433
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:45,643
‐ Wait.
434
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:48,062
It's even cuter than I imagined!
435
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:50,899
It's an honor to meet you, oh noble Pupa.
436
00:18:50,923 --> 00:18:52,901
‐ The Pupa needs to be walked
four times a day.
437
00:18:52,925 --> 00:18:55,278
Don't forget, or she'll pee
where you don't want her to.
438
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,280
Make sure to wipe its tushy
with a wet wipe.
439
00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:59,365
You have to boil fresh chicken
and rice for her.
440
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,451
‐ Slow down.
‐ Fresh, or she gets hives.
441
00:19:01,475 --> 00:19:04,245
Also, I'm so sorry,
but her ears are a mess!
442
00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:05,246
‐ Slow down. Slow down.
443
00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:07,957
‐ Wow, way to not know
the basics of Pupa care.
444
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:09,626
‐ So how do we make it evolve
and terraform?
445
00:19:09,650 --> 00:19:12,170
‐ If it's not terraforming, that just
means you aren't making it happy enough.
446
00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:16,174
‐ We will dedicate our entire lives
to pleasing this creature.
447
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:17,967
‐ Okay, good luck!
Oh, and every time it barks,
448
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:19,385
you have to punch yourself in the face.
449
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:20,576
‐ He's right, that's true.
450
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:31,773
‐ Oh. Something just fell out
of its stinking hole.
451
00:19:31,797 --> 00:19:34,716
‐ That must mean it's ready
to start terraforming!
452
00:19:39,847 --> 00:19:42,408
‐ What happened to you?
‐ The cool kids threw me in a tree,
453
00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:44,935
so I'm going to kill them
with my satellite.
454
00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:50,834
‐ I thought you used that thing to look
for ladies sun‐tanning on their roofs.
455
00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:52,585
‐ Yeah, well, now I'm going
to use it to melt bullies.
456
00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:54,504
Who are you?
457
00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:56,130
‐ I'm Daryl. Here for the sleepover.
458
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:58,049
‐ Wha‐‐ You are?
‐ Yeah, y'all still doing that?
459
00:19:58,073 --> 00:20:00,844
‐ Nobody else showed up.
‐ Oh good, I hate people anyway.
460
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:02,178
‐ So do I!
461
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,931
Hey, you wanna see
the wall full of adults I've shrunk?
462
00:20:04,955 --> 00:20:06,975
‐ Sure.
463
00:20:06,999 --> 00:20:08,977
Oh, so it's like an ant farm, huh?
464
00:20:09,001 --> 00:20:10,687
‐ Yeah, I know, it's dumb.
465
00:20:10,711 --> 00:20:11,896
‐ No, no, no, I like it.
466
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:15,275
Hey, you wanna play games on our phones
and talk shit about people?
467
00:20:15,299 --> 00:20:17,801
‐ Yes, a billion times, yes.
468
00:20:18,844 --> 00:20:20,405
‐ That was a crazy day.
469
00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:22,949
‐ Hey, you know what. I‐I'm just glad
everything is back to normal.
470
00:20:22,973 --> 00:20:24,534
We all learned a lesson.
471
00:20:24,558 --> 00:20:26,244
Feels good. Feels good in here
472
00:20:26,268 --> 00:20:27,579
and feels good down here.
473
00:20:27,603 --> 00:20:31,457
‐ The lesson I learned today
is to start doubling down on being strict
474
00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:33,501
and being even more dedicated
to the mission than ever before.
475
00:20:33,525 --> 00:20:34,420
‐ Korvo, no!
476
00:20:34,444 --> 00:20:36,296
‐ Yes! That way I'll never feel like
some other alien
477
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:37,755
is more orthodox than me ever again!
478
00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:40,008
‐ Well, then I'm going to double down
on being shallow and trashy
479
00:20:40,032 --> 00:20:40,967
just to cancel you out.
480
00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:41,719
‐ No, don't do that!
481
00:20:41,743 --> 00:20:43,428
‐ I do what I want, son! I'm li'l Terry.
482
00:20:43,452 --> 00:20:44,429
‐ I'm team leader, that's an order!
483
00:20:44,453 --> 00:20:45,513
‐ I don't care.
I don't care. I don't care.
484
00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:47,017
‐ Fuck you, Terry!
‐ I can't hear you.
485
00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:49,893
‐ Oh Jesus, was that the Pupa's gun?
486
00:20:49,917 --> 00:20:51,960
‐ No... no, no, no, no, no, no!
487
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,564
‐ Holy shit.
488
00:20:54,588 --> 00:20:55,648
The Pupa killed a Robocop!
489
00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:58,300
‐ Oh, I am so proud of you!
40429
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