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1
00:00:04,330 --> 00:00:05,799
As dusk approaches,
2
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:07,939
the ethereal winds bring forth the minions
3
00:00:07,940 --> 00:00:09,649
of bedlam and chaos.
4
00:00:09,650 --> 00:00:11,879
And it is I who plays the siren song
5
00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:14,949
which calls these beasts
to the mortal realms.
6
00:00:14,950 --> 00:00:17,659
For I am The Summoner!
7
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,259
Hey, that was great, Summoner.
8
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:01,689
I think we got it.
9
00:01:01,690 --> 00:01:02,793
You can clock off now.
10
00:01:29,102 --> 00:01:31,602
Thanks guys, see you Monday.
11
00:01:46,609 --> 00:01:47,609
Nope.
12
00:01:48,396 --> 00:01:49,454
Nope.
13
00:01:58,246 --> 00:01:59,246
Damn it!
14
00:02:12,380 --> 00:02:13,473
Hello, Donald.
15
00:02:18,390 --> 00:02:20,289
It was a presence.
16
00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:21,953
This thing was fucking horny!
17
00:02:23,660 --> 00:02:24,660
What can I say.
18
00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,433
You can clock off now.
19
00:02:28,434 --> 00:02:30,257
Fuck!
20
00:02:31,701 --> 00:02:32,701
Damn it!
21
00:02:33,517 --> 00:02:36,430
This thing was fucking horny!
22
00:02:36,431 --> 00:02:38,542
You can clock off now.
23
00:02:38,543 --> 00:02:39,543
Damn it!
24
00:02:40,591 --> 00:02:42,246
This thing was fucking horny!
25
00:02:42,247 --> 00:02:43,503
- You can clock off now.
- Damn it!
26
00:02:43,504 --> 00:02:45,123
This thing was fucking horny!
27
00:02:45,124 --> 00:02:46,624
- Fuck!
- Damn it!
28
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:57,339
I said possess her?
29
00:02:57,340 --> 00:02:59,101
I hardly knew her!
30
00:03:05,030 --> 00:03:07,963
Hey, what's wrong man?
31
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,033
Nothin'.
32
00:03:10,034 --> 00:03:11,199
No, I'm serious.
33
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,989
You can talk to me.
34
00:03:12,990 --> 00:03:14,909
It's just, Balthazar,
35
00:03:14,910 --> 00:03:17,069
have you ever wanted more in your life?
36
00:03:17,070 --> 00:03:18,989
Like a promotion?
37
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,219
No, well, not exactly.
38
00:03:21,220 --> 00:03:22,053
It's just that I feel like
39
00:03:22,054 --> 00:03:24,849
I'm doing the same thing
over and over again.
40
00:03:24,850 --> 00:03:26,919
There's no change, there's no diversity,
41
00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,749
there's no freedom.
42
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:32,179
It's just repetition
and I feel empty inside.
43
00:03:32,180 --> 00:03:35,289
That's because you don't have a soul.
44
00:03:35,290 --> 00:03:37,240
Would you just listen for one second?
45
00:03:38,797 --> 00:03:39,630
I've been playing metal
46
00:03:39,631 --> 00:03:42,529
and promoting depravity for
as long as I can remember
47
00:03:42,530 --> 00:03:44,969
and now it seems like that's
all that I'm good for.
48
00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:46,479
I can't be destined to bring songs
49
00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:49,033
of suffering to all of
humanity for eternity.
50
00:03:50,290 --> 00:03:52,729
I think it's time I started
working on my passion.
51
00:03:52,730 --> 00:03:55,009
Oh no, this isn't another
52
00:03:55,010 --> 00:03:59,029
Fred from accounting tries
selling mix tapes, is it?
53
00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:01,123
No, it's even better.
54
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:06,363
Selling affordable
single-family real estate.
55
00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:19,979
Well, well, well.
56
00:04:19,980 --> 00:04:22,209
What do we have here?
57
00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:23,429
Good morning sir!
58
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,639
Would you be interested
in buyin' a house today?
59
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,099
That's not how you
start a pitch, rookie.
60
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:31,469
I'm here to inform you
you're on my territory.
61
00:04:31,470 --> 00:04:33,869
The name's Chadly Derekson,
62
00:04:33,870 --> 00:04:36,119
and you'd best not forget it.
63
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:38,929
I'm the Real Estate King of LA.
64
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:42,569
No one even looks at a house
here without my say so.
65
00:04:42,570 --> 00:04:44,857
With all due respect, Mr. Derekson,
66
00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:48,220
you're blocking my view
of a potential customer.
67
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:51,301
Hey, you wanna buy a house?
68
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:53,789
You know what?
69
00:04:53,790 --> 00:04:56,559
I was planning on running you out of town,
70
00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,239
but it seems like you're
doin' a good enough job
71
00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,599
puttin' yourself out of business.
72
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:05,163
I'll be going for now,
but know just one thing:
73
00:05:06,010 --> 00:05:08,573
you won't last one day in this business.
74
00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:30,179
And this is the kitchen.
75
00:05:30,180 --> 00:05:33,399
It's really nice because
you can make food here.
76
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,919
But I think my favorite
room is the basement.
77
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,359
Really, why's that?
78
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:42,393
Well, it's soundproof.
79
00:05:43,420 --> 00:05:45,803
You know, for all the screaming.
80
00:05:48,926 --> 00:05:50,606
Oh, you know what,
81
00:05:50,607 --> 00:05:53,632
I just realized I have a
chiropractors appointment.
82
00:05:53,633 --> 00:05:55,239
I gotta go.
83
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:56,466
It's right now.
84
00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:10,530
Here's the bedroom.
85
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,419
You'll notice it has a bed.
86
00:06:13,420 --> 00:06:14,763
It's very soft.
87
00:06:15,740 --> 00:06:18,690
I can actually guarantee that
you'll go right to.
88
00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:24,439
Um, excuse me?
89
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,837
Are you...
90
00:06:37,124 --> 00:06:37,957
And as you will see,
91
00:06:37,958 --> 00:06:40,513
the closet is already
stocked with necessities.
92
00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,349
And you'll feel safe inside
93
00:06:49,350 --> 00:06:52,789
because this door can
really take a beating.
94
00:06:52,790 --> 00:06:54,543
Trust me, I know.
95
00:06:58,744 --> 00:07:00,029
And that concludes the tour.
96
00:07:00,030 --> 00:07:02,179
Can I answer any questions you might have?
97
00:07:02,180 --> 00:07:03,180
- Nope.
- No.
98
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:08,729
Thank you, we really appreciate
the tour, Mr. Summoner.
99
00:07:08,730 --> 00:07:12,179
Please, call me Summoner.
100
00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:14,819
Right, um, you know, I just
don't think we're really ready
101
00:07:14,820 --> 00:07:16,049
to buy a house right now.
102
00:07:16,050 --> 00:07:18,879
No, don't worry, it's
a worthy investment.
103
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:21,579
The property value can
only go up from here.
104
00:07:21,580 --> 00:07:22,413
See that's just the thing.
105
00:07:22,414 --> 00:07:26,109
I'm not sure I really could
trust financial advice from,
106
00:07:26,110 --> 00:07:28,629
what would you call yourself, a monster?
107
00:07:28,630 --> 00:07:30,243
What's wrong with that?
108
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:35,149
I'm not sure you have my
family's best interests at heart.
109
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:37,129
The answer is no.
110
00:07:37,130 --> 00:07:39,779
Hey, do you wanna see a magic trick?
111
00:07:39,780 --> 00:07:42,139
You know the game got your nose?
112
00:07:42,140 --> 00:07:43,140
Well...
113
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:45,640
Ta da!
114
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:47,829
Summoner, I don't think
115
00:07:47,830 --> 00:07:49,189
that's appropriate to show a child.
116
00:07:49,190 --> 00:07:51,438
You know, Chadly was right about you.
117
00:07:51,439 --> 00:07:52,985
Chadly?
118
00:07:52,986 --> 00:07:54,159
Chadly Derekson?
119
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,609
Yes and when we got here
he was outside telling us
120
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:59,239
that there was some demon trying
to sell dangerous property.
121
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,457
Let's go!
122
00:08:07,190 --> 00:08:08,489
I swear to God,
123
00:08:08,490 --> 00:08:11,249
they were able to give
Jim the house for free.
124
00:08:12,190 --> 00:08:13,908
It was so good!
125
00:08:13,909 --> 00:08:14,880
Chadly!
126
00:08:14,881 --> 00:08:16,829
You've been sabotaging my business.
127
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:17,830
Aw that's rich.
128
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:20,489
I wasn't sabotaging it,
129
00:08:20,490 --> 00:08:22,999
I'm merely helping move you to retirement.
130
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,463
What's your problem?
131
00:08:25,490 --> 00:08:27,189
What's my problem?
132
00:08:27,190 --> 00:08:30,699
I already told you, I'm
the Real Estate King,
133
00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:32,019
and I can't have some ghoul
134
00:08:32,020 --> 00:08:33,839
mucking up the playing field.
135
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,339
It's bad for business.
136
00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:37,359
Could you imagine what
customers would think
137
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,999
of real estate if they
saw some undead freak
138
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,609
trying to hawk property next to us?
139
00:08:42,610 --> 00:08:46,939
There's nothing wrong
with being a ghoul.
140
00:08:46,940 --> 00:08:48,219
Are you kidding?
141
00:08:48,220 --> 00:08:53,119
The only thing your kind is
good for is spooking kids.
142
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,320
No one would listen to
what you have to say.
143
00:09:02,004 --> 00:09:03,849
You know what?
144
00:09:03,850 --> 00:09:05,680
I think you're wrong about that.
145
00:09:09,304 --> 00:09:12,419
It seems like you'll need
some physical persuasion.
146
00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:14,219
Meet the Sunset Drive gang:
147
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:17,929
Tiffany Balderdash and The Mongoose.
148
00:09:17,930 --> 00:09:21,199
The best real estate agents
this side of Beverly Hills.
149
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,976
We'll kick your ass and
still have time for coffee.
150
00:10:32,057 --> 00:10:35,773
I may be the physical
manifestation of evil
151
00:10:35,774 --> 00:10:37,607
and that ain't so bad.
152
00:10:59,410 --> 00:11:03,029
My guest tonight is someone
you all know and fear.
153
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:05,209
He's the undead prince of real estate.
154
00:11:05,210 --> 00:11:08,091
Ladies and gentleman, it's The Summoner.
155
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:18,723
Welcome to the show.
156
00:11:18,724 --> 00:11:20,224
Thanks for having me, Jimmy.
157
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,719
Alright, be honest,
158
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,529
what took you so long to get over here?
159
00:11:27,530 --> 00:11:30,330
If I told you, Jimmy,
I'd have to kill ya.
160
00:11:32,580 --> 00:11:34,238
And he means it, folks.
161
00:11:37,070 --> 00:11:39,939
Now, you were in a bit
of controversy recently.
162
00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:43,889
Oh, uh huh.
163
00:11:43,890 --> 00:11:46,049
So, what are your plans now
164
00:11:46,050 --> 00:11:49,037
that you've been fired
from the White House?
165
00:11:50,757 --> 00:11:51,590
Oh, well the president
166
00:11:51,591 --> 00:11:53,639
and I disagreed on a few key issues.
167
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:57,783
But in all seriousness, Jimmy,
I really was fired from Hell!
168
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:07,073
And this is right after
you killed Chadly Derekson
169
00:12:08,010 --> 00:12:09,503
and the Sunset Drive Gang?
170
00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:12,023
Yep.
171
00:12:12,024 --> 00:12:13,299
And if I'm not mistaken,
172
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:16,089
this left a power vacuum
173
00:12:16,090 --> 00:12:18,869
in the regional real estate community.
174
00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:20,369
Indeed it did.
175
00:12:20,370 --> 00:12:22,759
So how does it feel to replace them
176
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:25,781
as the most powerful
entity in house flipping?
177
00:12:28,810 --> 00:12:31,560
To be perfectly honest,
it's actually quite humbling.
178
00:12:33,260 --> 00:12:36,339
The whole situation has
given me an opportunity
179
00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:38,913
to reflect on the work that led me here.
180
00:12:41,420 --> 00:12:44,849
I started out with very
little self-confidence,
181
00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:46,689
and it took a while,
182
00:12:46,690 --> 00:12:50,513
but eventually I was able
to embrace who I really was.
183
00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:55,381
And the real me is really
good at sellin' houses.
184
00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:01,599
Now I'm sure we've got a lot
185
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,639
of young people watching tonight
186
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,139
wanting to make a name for themselves.
187
00:13:05,140 --> 00:13:06,829
Do you have any words of advice
188
00:13:06,830 --> 00:13:09,503
you could offer these
enterprising individuals?
189
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,750
Never forget where you came from
190
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:15,963
and it might sound corny, but it's true.
191
00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:20,283
You really can do anything
you put your mind to.
13509
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