Original subtitles

Thank you!

Hello, welcome to "Top Gear."

It's a very exciting show tonight as we're doing something

we haven't done in a while.

It's time to dust off the old suitcase

and work out what colour passport we need.

Because we're off abroad!

So, a while back, we got talking about

the novel tradition of the great British expedition.

Scott of the Antarctic,

Ranulph Fiennes,

cruising with Jim McDonald.

Proper pioneering British stuff.

And it got us wondering.

On a budget of a few thousand quid,

which would be the best British cars to take

on an expedition.

So, we each went out and bought one.

However, the world being how it was back in July,

there wasn't many options on offer.

But we did find one place,

a land not far from home,

with all the terrain you need to test an expedition vehicle.

So, we packed our bags and shipped our cars...

to Iceland.

Hoo-hoo.

Wild,

rugged, and breathtaking to behold.

This isolated mound of volcanic rock,

in the middle of the North Atlantic Ocean,

packs more landscape onto its shores

than countries ten times its size.

To test the mettle of a budget British expedition vehicle,

Iceland is the ultimate proving ground.

Look at the colours, greens.

Have you ever seen a glacier that big?

I've not, no.

I've eaten a few.

To be honest, I can't believe Flintoff's not here.

He would love this.

Unfortunately, the day before we travelled,

Flintoff had been forced to self-isolate,

so couldn't join the trip.

Oh, I spy shipping containers.

But while Fred hadn't made it, his wheels had.

Do you know, this is the thing.

How've they got there?

Who's brought them in?

Now, obviously these are sealed up.

Yeah.

It's a bit like looking in someone's mail, this.

But I think it's what he would've wanted.

Shall we open this up?

I'll open, you say what lies within.

Yes. Ah, of course.

He's gone classic.

Oh.

It's a manual!

I've never driven a manual Range Rover before.

A diesel manual.

Classic. Classic.

Wow. Get over here.

He was always gonna go with that, wasn't he?

It's a diesel, to start with.

That's very rare.

These are very desirable.

And it's a manual.

Look at the wand on that.

This is a lovely car.

I mean, it's the choice where most people go well,

it's an expedition,

it's off-road,

I'm gonna go with one of these.

But it's a bit obvious, innit?

I know, it is a bit obvious.

But it's good. It's a great solution.

Tell you what, Pad, it's got the velour upholstery as well.

I'm jealous.

If he's not here to drive that,

and I prefer that to mine, can I have that?

Well, I'm already bored with this.

Because it's just the obvious choice.

And you're learning prepositions.

Bored with.

Before you met me, you'd have said bored of.

Prepositions, that's- You see? You're learning.

I've learned another word there.

You're not mangling our language anymore.

Ha-ha-ha!

There it is. Oh!

I'm so pleased about this.

Ha-ha-ha!

The Vauxhall Chevette.

Yes.

Look at it, Paddy.

I used to have one.

Did you?

Not the rally version.

Wide arches,

white mini-lights,

massive, look at those fog lights!

Doesn't say expedition.

Why not? Well, it's a rally car.

It's got knobbly tyres, it'll get me anywhere.

It will get you anywhere, but I suspect in this,

give it an hour, you won't be happy.

Why not?

Look at the terrain we're gonna be going over.

You're gonna be so uncomfortable in that.

But look at the lights.

It's got nice lights. It's got spotlights.

Yes, fantastic. And it says,

Lombard RAC Rally.

Let's have a look inside. Come on.

I used to love mine back in the day.

Look at it. But mine was comfortable.

Oh, Paddy, this is,

this might be the best car I've had on this show

and I normally have the best cars.

What?

Look at the wheel arches.

Look at the wheel arches.

Hang on, I've gotta get out for this.

Did you just say, 'cause I need to just clarify this,

the Vauxhall Chevette is the best car

you've had on this show?

You know you've said something wrong there, don't ya?

Look at it!

Do you wanna, do you wanna retract that remark?

It's brilliant.

What I'm gonna do now is introduce ya

to a little bit of class.

Oh, have we got a guest presenter?

Ho-ho, dear. Hey.

Oh, he has. Come on. Ay?

Here we go.

It starts.

Ooh!

He-he-he-hey!

Eh? Have I nailed it or have I nailed it?

One of my least favourite things

is admitting when you've done something right.

I enjoy these moments.

And how good does it look on off-road tyres.

Fantastic.

It's just, this, the Silver Shadow, for me,

is just, it's class, it's opulence.

It's just special, innit?

How can you, saying the word opulent,

make opulent sound not opulent?

Opulent.

It doesn't, it doesn't sound opulent when you say it.

Why not?

It sounds like an ointment you put on a toe.

This car was built on adventure.

First World War, British Army used these in Egypt,

in Jordan, all over the place.

Not Shadows, they didn't.

Lawrence of Arabia owned eight of 'em.

Not Shadows.

Look, you're living off a heritage

that this doesn't live up to.

This is a 1970s machine.

These weren't adventure cars.

These were for weddings and pop stars.

Oh, 'scuse me, 'scuse me.

Just hold on one moment there.

Now I knew you'd come at me with the wedding thing.

Yeah.

And I'm gonna give you a little factoid now,

'cause this is something the great Chris Harris

will not know.

Now come down the front here.

The spirit of ecstasy.

Take two fingers.

Where are you going with this?

Take two fingers.

Now take those fingers and just stroke 'em on her frontage.

What am I- I'm, go on.

Is this a wind-up?

No, just give it a little, a little caress.

Now, if they are smooth,

it's been used as a wedding car.

Because the ribbon wears 'em down.

If they're pert, not a wedding car.

What're you feeling?

Wrong!

Um, ah, they're pert.

They are. Not a wedding car.

They're in great shape.

And do you know what else as well, Christopher?

Have a look in the back.

No back seats.

I've had them take it out.

Expedition, a little bit lighter.

Basically, what you're looking at here-

Yeah?

Is the Rolls Royce of expedition vehicles.

Oh, god.

Well, that's what you're looking at.

Only you and I could've come on an expedition

and leave behind the one that's gonna be any good.

Exactly.

Shall we get in? Yes.

Come on. Here we go.

So, our Flintoff-less, two-car adventure

was underway.

Aww, lovely.

Expedition time.

First up, we'd been told to explore

the island's wild coastline.

And if the whole point of our mission

was to discover strange new worlds,

then it's fair to say Iceland

was getting straight down to business.

Look at that landscape.

This is just flat, black, volcanic rock and sand

all the way out to the sea.

This place is unlike anywhere else on the planet.

Look at the greens on the right, Chris.

We're following in the footsteps

of great British adventurers here, aren't we?

Unfortunately for Harris though,

the whole point of our mission

was actually to see how our cars coped

with Iceland's rugged landscape.

And the early news from the Chevette-

Oof.

Was as predicted.

Ooh. Oh-ho-ho.

Ugh. What have I done here?

Are you feeling every single divot in that car?

Ugh, come on then.

Tell me just how comfortable it is in there.

It is heavenly in here.

Ugh.

Just because you're going on an adventure,

doesn't have to mean you're gonna be uncomfortable.

Ooh.

I'm too hot in here and I'm feeling quite sick already.

I mean, looking at Chris's car,

he's not very comfortable.

He's got the door open for a kick-off

because he's getting gassed out by the petrol.

Why be like that?

Why be like Chris Harris?

You wanna travel in a bit of style, a bit of class.

This car is fantastic

and it's got all the mod-cons on it as well.

I mean, granted, these days, they're not mod-cons.

They're more old-cons.

But back in the day were cutting edge.

It's even got a Phillips tape deck on it. Ooh.

Everything okay, Christopher?

It's very fumey.

This could be a psychedelic experience

once I've had a few more of these fumes.

All right, here we go.

Always a good sign, letting the fumes out.

Just altering a bit of wardrobe, Pad,

nothing to worry about.

You just sit tight.

Now then, the Vauxhall Chevette.

Not just the UK's bestselling hatchback, 1975 to '78.

No, this Chevette is even more special.

Because apart from being noisy and fumey and hot,

in becoming a rally car,

it's been given a two-litre, twin-carb engine

and the gearbox is from racing specialists, Quaife.

This car's gearshift, och,

it reminds me of every single supercar

that's got paddles as being completely wrong.

This is joyous.

Slick, slick, slick.

Straight-cut gears one to three.

Fourth, if we go to fourth?

That's second.

That's fourth.

Fourth is quiet.

I need to get into fourth gear for a bit of peace and quiet.

And when it comes to peace and quiet,

that is something Iceland does very well.

Oh, this a lovely little road, innit. Look at this.

Ooh.

Oh, smelled gorgeous then.

Now with the fumes in your car, Chris,

you won't be able to appreciate this.

But these flowers...

smell beautiful.

Okay. Okay.

Ah-ha, that's unpleasant.

So, let's talk about power, Christopher.

What's the Vauxhall Croquette packing?

One hundred horsepower courtesy of a Ford Pinto.

The Silver Shadow's got a six and three-quarter litre V8

and it's packing a massive two hundred horsepower, Chris.

There's no way that's got two hundred horses.

I reckon at least a third of them

have been packed off to the glue factory.

Well, we'd soon see.

Because a few more miles down the old dusty trail,

we were soon to discover

that when Iceland isn't doing peace and quiet,

it's doing this.

Yes, this favourite local pastime

is sand drag racing.

And since this is how Iceland's petrol heads

decide whose wheels are fastest over the black stuff.

Look at some of this.

To see whether our intrepid explorers

were anything like fit for purpose,

we'd been told to go and get stuck in ourselves.

Ah, that's right,

they're having a look round here, royalty's here.

The Silver Shadow. And a little blue thing.

Getting out of this with any dignity isn't easy.

Ugh. Why do we always turn up to these things underequipped?

Look at that.

That's interesting.

A t-shirt over the jumper.

Right, let's have a look round.

So, it's a, what, ninety metres?

Yeah. The drag strip.

Oh, it's all happening. What's that all about?

Why would you wanna do that?

Well, I wouldn't, so let's forget about that.

Drag racing.

Oh!

Oh!

They've named this after you.

Well, nearly.

What's the brake horsepower?

A thousand.

A thousand. On sand!

Would you sit in that?

No.

Essentially what you're sitting in there is a rocket.

How much power does this have?

Er, one thousand and two hundred.

One thousand, two hundred.

Twelve hundred.

How much power is that?

Ah, can easily be two thousand.

Two thousand. Two thousand?

This is one of the fastest cars on the island?

Yeah.

It is? Yeah.

Did you just ask if the two thousand

brake horsepower drag,

drag racer is one of the fastest cars on the island?

What did you expect the answer to be?

Well, there's probably some other-

No, there's a faster Corolla over there.

Well, there must be a nut job who's got four thousand.

You know what they're like round here.

Right. Well.

I wanna watch one of these go.

Can you get in it and show us how fast it goes?

Yeah, yeah. Yes.

Oh, come on then.

Here we go.

Now that is absolutely ridiculous.

And with the second biggest result of the day

going to our new friend, Icelandic Batman,

it was time for the main event.

Chris, I've gotta say,

after watching those drag races, these people here,

I think they're gonna be a little bit underwhelmed.

What, after a two thousand horsepower nitrous dragster?

Why would they be disappointed watching a Silver Shadow

bury itself?

But just to add to the spectacle,

the producers had decided to make this drag a three-way.

What's that doing here?

And what's he doing driving it?

He must've been double jabbed.

And that meant with a special treat lined up

for the winner,

the first ever budget British expedition vehicle foot race

was on.

We're away.

Oh, my god.

Can I get a bit more traction?

Stig's doing well.

Now, we've got some power.

Now the Chevette comes into its own.

Thirty four, thirty six, I've got him.

Ha-ha-ha! Oh.

I'm nowhere near 'em!

It's a victory for the little Chevette!

Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

That was ridiculous.

That was the slowest race ever.

Well, uh, congratulations.

We all knew what the outcome were gonna be,

but it was nice to see you go over the finishing line.

As ever, when someone wins,

they've gotta get on the podium.

And reap the rewards.

What rewards?

Why do they always dress me?

I always end up looking like a complete idiot.

You'll be alright.

Ignore that, that frayed bit.

There's a massive knot in that one, look.

Okay, guys, here we go.

Is this it? Are we doing it?

Are we doing it?

Alright!

Paddy, get over that way.

We're doing it.

Go on, Chris.

Oh, this for a game of soldiers.

Okay, are you ready?

Yes.

Go on, Chr-, oh, Jesus!

Whoa! Ugh!

Motor, motor, motor, motor.

I can't motor, my legs are off-

Whoa! Paddy!

Go on, Chris!

There she goes!

Oh, blimey.

McGuinness!

How high up are we now?

Now, I think it's around three hundred metres.

Whoa. Okay.

Now what's happening?

Is the rope, okay?

Pad, he's taken the rope away.

What do I do?

Enjoy it.

We're really high up.

We're really, really high up.

It wasn't all bad news for Harris though.

The view up here is absolutely outrageous.

Because once he'd finally touched down

and we were on our way again,

at least he could get back to enjoying

the luxurious comfort of his Vauxhall.

How is the Briquette?

This car makes so many noises.

Every single stone that goes up inside the wheel arch

makes a massive bang.

The engine makes a huge amount of noise.

The tyres make a noise.

But above all of it

is the whine from the straight-cut gears.

It takes over everything.

Just, can I ask, why have you got the straight-cut gears?

'Cause they give me much faster,

more satisfying gear shifts.

We're driving, we're pottering around Iceland,

for God's sake!

And when it comes to pottering around Iceland,

one of our cars really was in a class of its own.

I know I've said it before, I'm gonna keep saying it,

this car was proper cutting edge.

Back in the day, the Silver Shadow

was one of the most advanced cars in the world.

It had magic hydraulic suspension

and everything was electric.

It showed the world what we were capable of.

Little things like this.

Now this is an absolute treat.

Look at this, when you put the radio on, watch the aerial.

Look at that.

Isn't that amazing!

Oh, I miss things like that.

The old aerial pops up,

and you turn the radio off...

down it goes.

Look at that.

Oh, God.

Just, er, just pulling in a second.

Slight technical. Won't be a moment.

Aerial issues.

Here we go.

I've got a hole where my radio was

and I've got two wires

and you're worried about your electric aerial?

That's the one.

Just to be clear, if a slightly sticky aerial

is the only thing you can complain about

on your expedition, that, my friends, is called winning.

And over in the Courgette,

it had been the straw that finally broke Harris.

♪ Oh, the straight-cut gears are lovely ♪

♪ Oh, the straight-cut gears are lovely ♪

♪ No, they're not ♪

♪ They're really horrible ♪

I'll come straight out with it, Pad,

this car is ridiculous.

Could we stop so I can phone Fred

and maybe rent his Range Rover off him?

Sadly, though, we couldn't,

because it was time for the next stage

of our expedition testing to begin.

And since successful expeditions aren't only

about the fitness of the vehicles,

before heading back into the wild

we'd been told we'd be trying out

another of Iceland's favourite pastimes,

this one designed to see if we were also match fit.

Yes, the Strong Man Contest.

Us two up against some very large locals,

led by the world's tenth-strongest man,

Eythor Ingélfsson Melsted.

Here we go.

How do you do a hard walk?

Just do that with your arms.

How are ya?

Hey, guys. How are you?

Can I ask a couple of questions?

How much do you weigh?

Er, I'm around 145 kilos.

How much can you lift, er, weight?

I deadlift 370 kilograms.

Three hu- Ooh. That's a lot.

Now we're gonna do some warm-up.

What? Here? Yeah.

Now, somewhere in the middle of this

frankly hateful exercise.

Come on! Let's go!

We are going!

It was revealed that McGuinness and I

would be competing together

over three rounds with a vehicular theme.

Oh, God.

Twenty push-ups. Come on!

God.

All the way down. Come on!

I'm going all-

And that meant we'd be kicking off with...

the Tyre Flip where our strongman opponent

would be the fresh-faced Christian John Haroldson.

All right, guys. In three, two, one.

Come on, McGuinness.

McGuinness, come on.

One more, Chris. Ready?

Ooh.

I think Flintoff would have been proud of that.

A surprise early win for Britain.

And next up was the Car Walk.

But, with Christian back for revenge,

this one did need a bit more practise.

Three, two, one, go.

So we're going on the go?

Yeah. Right. You ready?

Go!

Christian, I don't know if you've ever seen "Top Gear,"

but it's probably better just putting an engine in it

and driving it, son.

Lost on him. Let's just do it.

All right, guys. Are you ready?

No!

Three, two, one.

We'll try again.

You ready?

Paddy, stop it! Paddy!

Come on, Pad.

What, we're still going.

Yes!

I can't quite get up there. Thank you.

One-all then.

And for the decider, Eythor himself will be stepping up

for the fearsome Truck Pull.

Or, to make it even vaguely a contest,

the Truck vs Two Much Lighter Cars Pull.

Hey, we're up against the big lad now!

This is for Team GB!

Tenth-strongest man in the world

versus the tenth-funniest man in the world!

And the smallest man in the world.

Shut up!

Right.

Okay, guys. Are you ready?

Three, two, one.

Get down.

Go. Go, go, go, go.

We've got it, we've got it, we've got it, we've got it.

Move, move.

Come on. Keep going, Chris.

Suddenly, Harris' stripped-out, lightweight Chevette

wasn't looking like such a bad choice after all.

Keep it going. Where's Flintoff?

Little steps.

Look at me feet. Come on, son.

Keep going.

I can't do much more. Keep going!

And, with the big, heavy lorry digging its heels in,

it turned out the soft Icelandic turf

was also on our side.

Have we done it?

Eythor, oh! Every respect, sir.

Oh! That, how you guys do that I will never know.

Oh! Thank you so much.

But I think the main thing is-

The real winners were us.

He's right, it is us.

Well done! Yes!

Great. Protein shake.

See you on the other side.

Ooh. I'm seeing colours.

Now, having proven we could also handle

anything Iceland could throw at us ish -

the time had come to point our two-car convoy

towards the island's wilder, more remote interior.

From hereon out, tarmac roads

would be a distant memory.

Whoa!

The expedition testing was back in full swing,

with our next obstacle being...

water.

Got wet, the little Chevette.

All right, this is a bit more serious.

This is not good.

Fear not, my little friend.

This is where the Rolls-Royce comes into its own.

Here we go.

Stay close, Croquette.

It might get moist.

Here we go.

Straight in.

Come on.

Come on, Silver Lady!

Oh! Not a problem!

A lot of smoke

coming out the bonnet, though!

How's he getting on?

Go on, son.

She's stuck.

Oh dear, dear, dear.

Ah! Come on, little Chevette!

Yes!

He's out, the little croquette!

No turning back now!

Whoa!

Never in doubt, Patrick.

Whoa!

Oh! Now we're expeditioning.

Look at that up in front of us there, Chris.

Ooh! Now, that over there, would you say...

is that a volcano, Christopher?

That is the most active volcano on the island.

That is Hekla.

Just one of the many active volcanoes

that have shaped Iceland's volatile, unstable landscape.

Hekla itself forms part of a 25-mile-long volcanic ridge

that last erupted 21 years ago.

The fact that its next eruption

is now considered by many to be overdue,

only made it all the more predictable

that this was where we'd been told to head

to spend the night.

Everywhere you look in this place,

there's evidence of some massive force of nature

having smashed the landscape to bits

or flattened it or blown it up.

It's just so wild.

I was never sure if wilderness were my thing,

but I've gotta say, I am absolutely loving this.

Look at the change of scenery now on the right-hand side.

Did you see that sign we just passed, son?

Only 4x4s allowed on this road.

I feel like one of them great British explorers

headed off into uncharted territories:

Captain Cook, Scott of the Antarctic, Shackleton.

You know they all died on their voyages don't you Paddy?

And Captain Cook had a boat, not a Rolls Royce.

Maybe, but, to be fair, if he'd had the Chevette,

he'd almost certainly have died sooner.

Oh! Why did I choose this bloody car?

Why did I choose this bloody car?

How are you feeling

about your choice now, honestly?

Terrible.

Not to worry though,

because just a few more easy miles up the road.

Whoa!

We finally reached our overnight refuge

at the foot of a volcano.

That's a lava field behind it,

so this is right in the firing line.

Oh look, there's a picnic table there,

little basket.

Have you got a spare coccyx? I'm broken.

I don't think I'll ever tire of seeing you

getting out of that car.

Look at this though, uh?

What a spot, Patrick.

Little picnic. Job's a good one.

Fortnum and Mason's hamper.

Oh, let me see.

Let me just check. Other hampers are available.

Oh don't, don't.

Of course.

Don't.

Every hardworking expedition needs its rations...

me.

And ours was a selection

of traditional Icelandic delicacies.

No. How are you even touching that?

They've taken the brain out.

Look, you can see his tongue and his teeth here.

Oh!

Come on, let's get a fork out

and have a go at it, come on. How do you get in it?

That looks good in there.

What's that?

Well, that looks good there.

Buried goose.

No, no, Chris.

That's pretty good.

You're on your own.

I've got some er Crunchy Nutters in the car.

Ram's testicles.

Where? There.

They're an odd shape.

I'm gonna try a bit of testicle on bread.

You're not. Why not?

Oh. No. No. No!

It's got a really salty hit to it.

Ugh!

To be honest,

I think I've had me fill for the day.

Do you know what the trouble is?

It's about half ten at night.

It's broad daylight.

Can I tempt you,

can I tempt you with some mutton?

No, no.

Er just noticed, no curtains. Great.

I don't know whether to say goodnight or good morning.

But anyhow, see you in a bit.

Oh, that's good gear, Pad.

Get out!

Fred, the one time we really needed you,

lifting stuff and eating horrendous things.

Where were you?

Genuinely I'm gutted I wasn't there.

You know what I'm most gutted about?

I didn't get a chance to drive that Range Rover.

Yeah.

And it was a lovely choice, Fred,

but if I'm nit-picking,

you could have gone for the three door,

because the late, great Charles Spencer King-

On the plus side you did swerve three days of that.

I suppose self-isolating isn't too bad after all!

Correct.

Anyhow, it's time to move on and talk about this,

the Chevrolet Camaro,

actually my Chevrolet Camaro.

Which used to be my Chevrolet Camaro.

You did me, I know, Chris, I know.

Kerching.

No shame whatsoever.

Point is, I've always been a sucker

for fast American cars,

but I had to admit,

they're not built for British roads.

They're not refined,

and the steering wheel's on the wrong side.

But now there's an American sports car

that promises to solve all that.

Here it is, the all-new Chevrolet Corvette.

For the first time ever,

it's got its engine behind the driver.

And it's got its steering wheel on the right.

This all-American hero

is starting to look a lot like

one of your fancy European sports cars.

Question is, does it go like one?

Well, there's only one way to find out.

Knock it down a couple of gears...

and oh, ho ho!

And she goes! She flies!

Oh my word, hundred mile an hour already!

Nought to sixty, just over 3 seconds.

184 mile an hour top speed.

That isn't sports car fast.

That's supercar fast.

This is one quick car.

And that's thanks to Chevy's 6.2 litre,

small block V8 making over 480 horsepower.

I love it.

Only the Americans could put the word small

anywhere near a 6-litre engine.

Bonkers.

The thing is though,

American sports cars have never struggled with going fast

in a straight line.

The problem's always been corners.

And when you do reach a corner in your Corvette,

you discover...

it is brilliant!

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

Old Corvettes were a bit

of a wrestling match on track.

But this one, it's with you.

It's a lover, not a fighter.

The gearbox is a fancy dual-clutch paddle shift.

You can even have clever, magnetic shock absorbers.

And having the engine behind the driver

means you're right in the thick of it.

You know exactly what's going on.

And what's going on is all good!

And it's the same story inside.

Sitting in an American car

has traditionally been a cheap

and cheerful experience,

but the Corvette's interior is anything but.

There's leather everywhere,

there's screens and cameras everywhere.

There's even one in the rear-view mirror.

And look at this,

press this, it records your driving.

Overlaid with data and how fast you're going,

and the G force.

Does the whole lot.

And it's got a pop out roof,

so it's a convertible too.

Seriously, you've got everything you need in here,

and it doesn't feel cheap and cheerful.

It feels expensive and cheerful.

So how expensive is the new Corvette?

Well, that depends.

See, in America, these cars start at $60,000 dollars.

That's 45,000 pounds.

45,000 pounds for a nearly 500-horsepower,

mid-engined sports car.

I know Corvettes have always been about

bang for your buck, but that's an absolute steal.

If you can't pay in bucks though,

it's not quite such good news.

The Corvette we get over here starts at 75 grand.

This one as tested,

85 grand.

Come on, America.

We gave you the English language.

We gave you the internet.

We gave you...

James Corden!

And this is how you repay us?

But here's the thing.

Even at that price, this car is still a total bargain.

Nothing else,

nothing else you can buy in the UK right now

gives you this much performance for your pound.

This much car for your cash.

Pound for pound for fun! This is right up there.

I'm struggling to find something I don't like.

Come on.

I'm a northerner, I love a bargain!

Stick some gravy on it, I'm sold. .

Look at his face.

Look at him. What's wrong?

Not a happy chappie. What's wrong with you?

Okay, this could go on a while,

but I'll keep it short.

It looks like two cars sewn together in the middle.

Doesn't look right.

It's not coherent, there's too much volume back here,

but most importantly,

I don't want a mid-engined Corvette.

It should be an American muscle car,

front-engined, rear wheel drive.

And I'm gonna put it in terms that you understand.

Biscuits.

Oh, right.

Jaffa cakes. Yes.

Jaffa cakes should have marmalade orangy stuff in it,

not one of these new ones with cherry or lime.

I want to know what I'm getting.

American muscle car.

This is trying to be a Ferrari, trying to be European.

He has got a point, but listen,

there's plenty of muscle car fans out there,

so Fred, would you keep the Camaro

or trade up to the Corvette?

You know what?

I like this car. But I love that one.

Yes, Fred.

No, when we've put them nose to nose,

I've not even looked at this.

Yeah.

It's just all about that for me. I love that car.

Paid over the odds, but love it.

Yeah.

Right, now it's time to do something else

we've not done for a while.

We're gonna put this car around our track

in the hands of...

the Stig.

Engine in the middle

means more weight over the rear wheels,

which means better traction off the line.

Sounding great. Normally aspirated V8.

It's greasy out there.

Stig reckons these sorts of conditions can cost

at least three or four seconds a lap!

And you can see the suspension

almost fighting the roll there.

Through Chicago.

Looks flat and fast.

Stig working his way thought the eight-speed box.

No manual option on this Corvette.

Breaking hard into Hammerhead.

Not so much stability under brakes,

really fighting to keep the car in a straight line.

Using all of the tarmac,

and a little bit of grass too.

Down into the Follow Through.

And he had alittle bit of a brake there.

Unusual for the Stig.

Second to last, the most difficult corner.

Pick your entry point.

He's fighting it all the way,

and little steering inputs.

Through Gambon now.

What's he gonna do? Bit of grass?

Over the line.

So, it's a damp lap.

Yes. What do you think?

Me, I'm thinking it's gotta be faster than the M3.

Okay. Well, it was a damp lap.

Pressure's on.

The time was 1. Yeah.

21.7.

There it is. Oh.

Okay. It's Under the F Type.

No, damp, damp time. Damp time.

And this is the top of the board, isn't it?

Yeah, well, we've tested a lot more cars,

haven't we, Pad?

I have thought of this, gentlemen.

What do you mean, you've thought of it?

I've knocked this up today.

Oh, now Patrick,

you've excelled yourself here.

It needs a bit more WD4O, I've gotta be honest.

I'm liking that, Pad.

Won't be a minute. Still going.

So it could be about 4 seconds quicker.

Here we go. Boom.

So it's sort of,

it's sort of Honda NSX speed, isn't it?

You've just pointed somewhere you can reach.

So there you go, mid table, not relegation.

And now it's time to get back

to our big Iceland adventure,

where Fred was still stuck in the UK,

and our British expedition vehicles

were about to be put to the ultimate test.

With the Icelandic summer

and its never-ending daylight waking us bright and early.

Look at that.

It was time to find out what the last leg

of our mini expedition had in store.

Good night's sleep that, Pad.

Surprisingly nice, that.

Oh, challenge.

Iceland is the home of proper expedition vehicles.

To see how adventurous your cars really are,

you will now race against the king of the locals.

Oh, god.

This absolute monster is a Ford F150 pick-up,

modified by Icelandic off-road legends, Arctic Trucks.

Their vehicles have been used to conquer

some of the most hostile terrains on the planet.

But as if that wasn't enough of an unfair advantage,

their latest creation would, of course, be driven...

by the Stig.

This is a problem.

The ultimate expedition machine

driven by the ultimate driving machine.

And we're racing them in...

Chevette and old Silver Shadow.

Yeah. Right.

And then there was the race route.

Continuing to follow the rough tracks

that course through the Icelandic interior,

we'd have to find our way to the edge

of the Raudhaskal crater.

The finish line was just 20-odd miles away,

but as part of the Hekla volcanic ridge,

it lay at the heart

of one of the world's most active volcanic regions.

So, to give us at least a fighting chance,

we'd get a 30-minute head start.

Just long enough, the producers reckoned,

for us to reach the finish line first,

if our budget Brits didn't,

as they put it, die trying.

Right, rally boy. We're a team on this.

Don't be shooting off in the old croquette

and leaving me for dead.

Here we go.

Three, two, one, go!

What's he doing? What's he doing?

What you doing?

Right Pad, strategy is the faster I go,

I reckon the faster you'll go.

Oh ho, now we're moving.

All kinds of stones thrown at the silver lady!

So, with just half an hour

to get as far ahead of the Stig as possible,

apparently teamwork had gone straight out the window.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, can't see a thing!

But, having spent the whole trip

waiting for Harris's Chevette to make any kind of sense,

it was at least nice to be there for the big moment.

Whoa! What a fantastic bit of road.

Finally, my choice is paying dividends.

This is driving.

There he is. Go on, Harris!

Short wheelbase in the Chevette feels so agile.

Straight cut gears.

Prince Smug! Ah!

Now she's singing. Now she is singing.

While Stig bided his time before the hunt began,

with Chrissie Makkinen pulling away fast,

it was all me and my Shadow could to do

to hang onto the back of him.

Oh, flat chat down here. Come on!

Whoa.

Oh, .

Oh, ho oh. Oh, that one crept up on me.

I can still see that little croquette's dust

in front of me.

Come on.

This is rallying old school.

They used to do hundreds of miles like this.

No notes, just driving on sight.

Crest.

Wowowowowowo!

Whoa! Big jump.

Oh, sugar.

Feels like my left suspension's a bit different to my right.

This looks a bit jumpy.

Oh! Oh!

Man, she's moving about, is the girl.

Oh! Oh, ho-ho.

How often are you gonna get the chance

to take a Silver Shadow rallying in Iceland?

Up ahead though, it was quickly becoming clear

that my approach to rallying in Iceland

had been a little over enthusiastic.

We're down to third.

I think the Chevette's not very happy.

Engine's bogged down.

Either that or I'm losing power. Could be.

I wanna be going out quick

but I'm trying to get the car round in one piece as well.

It's literally like rallying on the moon.

Oh, my engine's not sounding very good now.

We've got engine issues, I think.

Can't see Pad, I don't know where he is.

And then...

things got worse.

Caution there. It's all whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Not very clearly signposted.

It turns out,

on those rough tracks

that cut across the Icelandic back country,

missing a turn is easy.

Almost as easy, in fact,

as grinding to a halt altogether.

Oh, I'm stuck.

Still, it's not like we were being chased.

Yes, our 30 minutes were up,

and Stig was on the hunt.

Oh, ho-ho.

Oh, I can see him, there he is.

Has he stopped? Oh, my god, he's stopped.

What's he...

Have you stopped? What's going on?

The directions weren't very clear.

I went straight on and now I can't get moving.

I'm gonna nudge up to you, ready?

Oh!

We're off.

Lovely bit of rescue service

from the Roller there.

Teamwork makes the dream work.

The plucky Brits might have been back on the move,

but as Stig smashed across the plains somewhere behind us,

soon it was the Shadow's turn to start feeling the pressure.

Jesus, it's bumpy here, Chris.

I think I've lost power steering, or I've got a puncture.

Lost power as well.

Bloody hell, Philips is hanging out tape deck! Get in!

Come on, Pad. Get that Roller going.

Slowing down a bit on me, come on, girl.

This is where the Stig will gain valuable time on us,

'cause he'll go over those rocks like they're nothing,

like they're popping candy.

Some of these crests are a bit blind.

Watch out for the ridges coming up.

It's got...

it's a big lump down the middle.

Be careful, alright.

Oh, that looks a bit ominous.

Oh! Oh, ho-ho!

Go on, there, Silver Lady!

Cheers, pal.

The landscape had been taking its toll.

Getting hot in here now. Come on, old girl.

But our cars were still just about hanging on.

Raudhaskal was now just six miles away.

And as we began the final push round to the crater's edge,

the real question was,

where was our pursuer?

Can't see the Stig. Still can't see him.

Can't see the Stig, pal.

Oh, we're down to three now.

I've only got three cylinders,

so you'll have to bear with me. My engine's dying.

Come on. Come on.

Can't see the Stig.

Oh, Jesus, he's here!

Oh, no.

Oh, that's a big rock. Oh, god!

Go Pad. Come on, Pad.

Come on, Silver Shadow! Come on!

It's gonna be tight.

Come on! Come on, the Shadow!

Come on, Pad, keep up mate.

Come on Pad, I'm gonna drag you along.

He's on me.

Come on, Paddy McGuinness.

I'm here, son! He's right on me!

Ah, get round.

Oh!

Go on, get up there. Go on, the Roller.

We have got him!

Oh, made it. Yeah, what!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Ho-ho-ho!

Oh. Wow! We've done it, son!

Wow! Woo!

We just raced to the top of a volcano!

I'll tell you what, there it is. Great effort.

Good work. Never in doubt.

There he is.

Oh.

Look at that.

That is immense.

That, over there, all lava.

Do you know that?

It's unbelievable.

I love the way this is a voyage of learning for you.

Ah, drink it in.

Found a volcano.

Wow, a volcano.

What a trip.

Great cars, unbelievable scenery,

and we beat the Stig to the top of the volcano.

It was fantas-

the only thing missing was you, big man.

I'm still gutted. I would love to have been there.

I've got serious FOMO,

serious.

What about the cars?

Little soldiers both of them.

Wide-bodied Chevette, Fred, look at that.

Yeah.

Well, time to decide who bought the best car.

Obviously, Chris, you're gonna go with the croquette.

Yes, yes.

And I'll go for the Silver Lady,

which means casting vote's yours, Fred,

and I bet you're gonna go with Chris

'cause it's a Chevette, oh it's Chris's Chevette.

Really?

Alright then, on the one hand,

I'm looking at a blue car

with a big white dot on the bonnet.

This one, I'm looking at a national treasure,

an institution.

Something with a bit of class, well built,

obviously unlike the driver.

Yeah, ha-ha.

So, for that reason, I'm going Rolls Royce,

sorry, Chris, Rolls Royce, every day of the week.

Look at it. Can't believe it.

I love a Rolls, Pad. I love one.

Double teapot, Fred.

That's it for tonight,

but more good stuff next week.

The big lad becomes a qualified racing driver,

the little lad drives a DeLorean,

and I drive a car worth 4 million pounds.

Thanks so much for watching.

See you then. Good night.