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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,723 --> 00:00:11,323 I don't think so, do you? 2 00:00:12,363 --> 00:00:14,843 It's only 29.99. 3 00:00:14,843 --> 00:00:16,363 Yeah, but where will you wear it? 4 00:00:16,363 --> 00:00:19,403 You never do anything except go to school or study. 5 00:00:19,403 --> 00:00:22,923 Yeah. I've got library books that have been out more than me. 6 00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:23,963 Exactly. 7 00:00:23,963 --> 00:00:25,243 I mean, why waste your money 8 00:00:25,243 --> 00:00:27,443 on something that will never get worn, darling? 9 00:00:28,923 --> 00:00:30,683 OK, let's go. 10 00:00:30,683 --> 00:00:33,563 I have to pick up your dad's athlete's foot powder. 11 00:00:33,563 --> 00:00:36,523 I'd hate to miss that, but can I meet you at the car? 12 00:00:36,523 --> 00:00:37,763 All right, but don't be long. 13 00:00:37,763 --> 00:00:40,003 I've only got ten minutes left on the parking. 14 00:00:53,683 --> 00:00:55,923 Excuse me, miss. 15 00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:57,363 I need to look in your bag. 16 00:00:57,363 --> 00:00:59,243 Why? 17 00:00:59,243 --> 00:01:01,323 Can I look in your bag, please? 18 00:01:08,363 --> 00:01:10,443 We've got a runner, boys. 19 00:01:12,963 --> 00:01:14,563 Sorry. Sorry! 20 00:01:17,523 --> 00:01:20,683 ♪ Love is a burning thing 21 00:01:20,683 --> 00:01:24,683 ♪ And it makes a fiery ring 22 00:01:25,643 --> 00:01:29,163 ♪ Bound by wild desire 23 00:01:29,163 --> 00:01:32,763 ♪ I fell into a ring of fire... ♪ 24 00:01:32,763 --> 00:01:34,043 Stop! 25 00:01:34,043 --> 00:01:38,003 ♪ I fell into a burning ring of fire 26 00:01:38,003 --> 00:01:39,523 ♪ I went down, down, down... ♪ 27 00:01:39,523 --> 00:01:41,883 Sorry! # And the flames went higher 28 00:01:41,883 --> 00:01:46,283 ♪ And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire 29 00:01:46,283 --> 00:01:52,323 ♪ The ring of fire The ring of fire... ♪ 30 00:02:01,923 --> 00:02:03,243 Rani? 31 00:02:06,243 --> 00:02:07,843 What's going on? 32 00:02:51,523 --> 00:02:53,843 Do you remember what's special about today, sweetie? 33 00:02:53,843 --> 00:02:55,643 Um, Grampa's coming to stay? 34 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:56,883 That's right. 35 00:02:56,883 --> 00:03:00,723 Grandpa is funny and charming and you're gonna like him very much. 36 00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:03,003 But I do need you to remember one thing while he's here. 37 00:03:03,003 --> 00:03:06,723 I need you to remember that Grandpa is a lying, thieving, 38 00:03:06,723 --> 00:03:08,403 selfish old bastard. 39 00:03:10,483 --> 00:03:12,923 Good luck. Cheers, mate. Good luck, bro. 40 00:03:12,923 --> 00:03:14,563 And what is Grandpa? 41 00:03:15,483 --> 00:03:18,203 A lying, thieving, selfish old bastard. 42 00:03:18,203 --> 00:03:20,483 Who can...? Who can never be trusted. 43 00:03:20,483 --> 00:03:22,003 Good girl. 44 00:03:27,203 --> 00:03:28,843 Safe travels, Frank. 45 00:03:40,363 --> 00:03:45,203 Greetings and felicitations. Margie, did you change your hair? 46 00:03:45,203 --> 00:03:46,283 Quite possibly, Frank, 47 00:03:46,283 --> 00:03:48,043 in the eight years since I last saw you. 48 00:03:48,043 --> 00:03:49,923 This young buck must be Tom. 49 00:03:49,923 --> 00:03:51,723 Hey, dude, what's happening? 50 00:03:51,723 --> 00:03:55,683 Lord, oh, Lord, who's this beautiful princess? 51 00:03:55,683 --> 00:03:57,083 Holly. 52 00:03:57,083 --> 00:03:58,963 Oh, what a pleasure. 53 00:03:58,963 --> 00:04:01,003 Where are we setting up, please? 54 00:04:01,003 --> 00:04:05,323 Between the hours of 7pm and 6am, you will remain in this residence 55 00:04:05,323 --> 00:04:07,043 and the light will remain green. 56 00:04:07,043 --> 00:04:08,923 If you travel more than two metres from this residence, 57 00:04:08,923 --> 00:04:10,403 the light turns red. 58 00:04:10,403 --> 00:04:11,483 Is that clear? 59 00:04:11,483 --> 00:04:13,563 Crystal. What happens if it turns red? 60 00:04:13,563 --> 00:04:15,043 You get a little visit from the police. 61 00:04:15,043 --> 00:04:16,283 Ooh. 62 00:04:17,403 --> 00:04:18,843 I'll show myself out. 63 00:04:18,843 --> 00:04:20,483 Thank you for your service. 64 00:04:21,643 --> 00:04:22,963 Why were you in prison? 65 00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:24,723 It was a misunderstanding. 66 00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:27,603 Grandpa misunderstood that you can't forge signatures on cheques. 67 00:04:27,603 --> 00:04:29,963 Oooh... Ah! 68 00:04:31,043 --> 00:04:32,243 What's a cheque? 69 00:04:38,003 --> 00:04:41,723 All right, yep, yep. I do. 70 00:04:41,723 --> 00:04:44,483 Can I speak? Thank you. I'm asking for two poxy weeks. 71 00:04:44,483 --> 00:04:45,523 No phones allowed. What? 72 00:04:45,523 --> 00:04:47,403 Back through the machine. Empty your pockets. 73 00:04:47,403 --> 00:04:50,083 All right, Captain, slow down. Just a middle-aged white man. 74 00:04:50,083 --> 00:04:53,083 All I'm carrying are keys and unwanted back fat. 75 00:04:53,083 --> 00:04:54,323 No, listen, no. 76 00:04:54,323 --> 00:04:56,323 The Chinese deal is going through. No phones allowed. 77 00:04:56,323 --> 00:04:57,963 What? No phones allowed. 78 00:04:57,963 --> 00:05:00,083 No phones allowed. I have to call you back. 79 00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,723 And the bag. And the bag! 80 00:05:02,723 --> 00:05:07,363 Listen, I'm a businessman from Bristol, not a jihadi bride. 81 00:05:09,403 --> 00:05:10,603 Are you wearing a belt? 82 00:05:10,603 --> 00:05:11,643 I am wearing a belt. 83 00:05:11,643 --> 00:05:14,083 Yes, I like it when my trousers stay up. That OK? 84 00:05:15,323 --> 00:05:18,003 Thank you. Where am I going please? 85 00:05:28,843 --> 00:05:32,083 Be careful, darling. Just do whatever they tell you. 86 00:06:05,083 --> 00:06:06,523 This way. 87 00:06:24,803 --> 00:06:27,883 Hi there. I'm Greg. 88 00:06:27,883 --> 00:06:31,963 I'm 6'7" tall and, no, it's not in proportion. 89 00:06:31,963 --> 00:06:34,443 If it was in proportion, I'd be 8'3". 90 00:06:42,203 --> 00:06:45,323 Greetings and felicitations. High pockets! 91 00:06:45,323 --> 00:06:47,083 What's tickin', chicken? 92 00:06:47,083 --> 00:06:50,203 Uh, it's finger-lickin', chicken. 93 00:06:50,203 --> 00:06:54,283 Good morning, ladies. Can I just say? You're both looking beautiful. 94 00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:55,763 No, you can't. 95 00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,243 He can't tell you that you're beautiful? 96 00:06:57,243 --> 00:06:59,483 We didn't ask him for a verdict on our appearance. 97 00:06:59,483 --> 00:07:01,563 Sorry, but I say it like I find it. 98 00:07:01,563 --> 00:07:05,283 And, ladies, you're both a right couple of swooners. 99 00:07:07,403 --> 00:07:10,763 Attention! Sit. 100 00:07:11,883 --> 00:07:13,563 Some people... 101 00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:17,283 ..think that Community Payback is an easy option. 102 00:07:17,283 --> 00:07:19,363 A soft touch. 103 00:07:19,363 --> 00:07:21,563 Newsflash - 104 00:07:21,563 --> 00:07:23,083 it ain't. 105 00:07:23,083 --> 00:07:27,083 You will repay your debt to society by working the number of hours 106 00:07:27,083 --> 00:07:29,323 mandated by the court. 107 00:07:29,323 --> 00:07:32,523 My name is Diane Pemberley. I'm your supervisor. 108 00:07:32,523 --> 00:07:37,203 And I can be a good guy...or a mean bastard. 109 00:07:37,203 --> 00:07:38,723 Your choice. 110 00:07:38,723 --> 00:07:40,963 Good guy, please. You don't choose. 111 00:07:40,963 --> 00:07:42,883 You said it was our choice. It was a figure of speech. 112 00:07:42,883 --> 00:07:45,243 It wasn't entirely clear. Are you a trouble-maker? 113 00:07:45,243 --> 00:07:47,203 No, ma'am. Definitely not. 114 00:07:47,203 --> 00:07:50,483 When I call your name, say here. 115 00:07:50,483 --> 00:07:51,563 John Halloran. 116 00:07:51,563 --> 00:07:53,203 Here. Shouldn't be. 117 00:07:53,203 --> 00:07:54,323 Frank Sheldon? 118 00:07:54,323 --> 00:07:55,723 What's the agenda, Brenda? 119 00:07:55,723 --> 00:07:56,923 Christian Taylor. 120 00:07:56,923 --> 00:08:00,243 Yo. OK, what are you people not getting? Just say here. 121 00:08:00,243 --> 00:08:01,603 Myrna Okeke. 122 00:08:01,603 --> 00:08:03,763 Here in body, not in spirit. 123 00:08:03,763 --> 00:08:06,723 I don't know what that means. Gregory Dillard? 124 00:08:06,723 --> 00:08:07,923 Yeah, that's me. 125 00:08:07,923 --> 00:08:09,763 Can I just apologise for the inappropriate joke 126 00:08:09,763 --> 00:08:12,043 earlier about things being in proportion? 127 00:08:12,043 --> 00:08:16,203 To be honest, it's not even that long. Although it is quite flat. 128 00:08:16,203 --> 00:08:17,443 Like a kipper. 129 00:08:17,443 --> 00:08:19,123 Just say here. 130 00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,443 Yeah, here. Yeah. Here. 131 00:08:20,443 --> 00:08:22,283 Rani Rekowski? 132 00:08:22,283 --> 00:08:24,203 Here. Thank you. 133 00:08:53,603 --> 00:08:59,323 You each have over 100 hours to serve. 134 00:09:00,483 --> 00:09:01,843 You have been tasked 135 00:09:01,843 --> 00:09:05,443 with restoring this into a community centre 136 00:09:05,443 --> 00:09:08,203 for the local...community. 137 00:09:09,203 --> 00:09:12,243 You will work four hours each visit. 138 00:09:12,243 --> 00:09:16,203 Only when I am happy with the work you have done 139 00:09:16,203 --> 00:09:18,803 will I log those four hours. 140 00:09:18,803 --> 00:09:20,123 Take another one. 141 00:09:20,123 --> 00:09:21,563 During clean-up duty, 142 00:09:21,563 --> 00:09:26,803 if you find a deceased animal over 10k, 143 00:09:26,803 --> 00:09:29,003 do not touch it. 144 00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:31,643 That is the council's business. 145 00:09:31,643 --> 00:09:37,403 Anything under 10k - vermin, cats, a small dog - 146 00:09:37,403 --> 00:09:39,003 that is yours. 147 00:09:39,003 --> 00:09:40,883 Can we keep it? No, you may not. 148 00:09:40,883 --> 00:09:43,563 Now, you may be wondering about faeces. 149 00:09:43,563 --> 00:09:45,283 You read my mind. 150 00:09:45,283 --> 00:09:49,523 If you find human faeces, do not touch it. 151 00:09:49,523 --> 00:09:53,443 You may handle other species' faeces. 152 00:09:53,443 --> 00:09:54,803 Can we keep it? 153 00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:56,443 No, you may not. 154 00:09:56,443 --> 00:10:02,123 You are here for the next four hours, people. You may begin! 155 00:10:14,643 --> 00:10:15,963 So, why're you here? 156 00:10:17,163 --> 00:10:20,043 Uh, oh, well, I'm here because, uh, 157 00:10:20,043 --> 00:10:22,003 even though I run a successful company 158 00:10:22,003 --> 00:10:24,283 making brake pads, pay my taxes, 159 00:10:24,283 --> 00:10:26,203 employ 52 people, 160 00:10:26,203 --> 00:10:29,603 we have a criminal justice system that kowtows to the, uh, 161 00:10:29,603 --> 00:10:31,403 right-on leftie liberal brigade. 162 00:10:31,403 --> 00:10:34,003 I'm a right-on leftie liberal. Are you sure? 163 00:10:34,003 --> 00:10:36,563 Seems like you can't really call yourself a leftie these days 164 00:10:36,563 --> 00:10:39,243 unless you're a disabled transgender vegan 165 00:10:39,243 --> 00:10:42,163 with a nut allergy who makes their own soap. 166 00:10:42,163 --> 00:10:44,563 Are you reading that straight off the Daily Mail website? 167 00:10:44,563 --> 00:10:46,163 Well, they're not wrong about everything. 168 00:10:46,163 --> 00:10:48,123 I'm just saying, you watch yourself. 169 00:10:48,123 --> 00:10:50,883 Nothing the lefties like more than eating their own. 170 00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:52,563 Unless they contain nuts. 171 00:10:58,323 --> 00:10:59,643 You're working too hard. 172 00:10:59,643 --> 00:11:02,163 You think it matters if we clear this crap up or not? 173 00:11:02,163 --> 00:11:03,883 They just want to give us something to do. 174 00:11:03,883 --> 00:11:07,163 I'd slow down if I were you. You might burn yourself out. 175 00:11:08,683 --> 00:11:10,243 Also, you're making me look bad. 176 00:11:13,963 --> 00:11:16,483 What are you in for? 177 00:11:16,483 --> 00:11:18,163 I stole some stuff. 178 00:11:18,163 --> 00:11:20,683 Why would someone proper-smart be stealing stuff? 179 00:11:20,683 --> 00:11:22,243 Who says I'm proper-smart? 180 00:11:22,243 --> 00:11:25,043 Well, I saw your bag and it said Oxford University. 181 00:11:25,043 --> 00:11:29,003 My mum bought that when I went to interview at Oxford University. 182 00:11:29,003 --> 00:11:30,643 Did you get in? 183 00:11:30,643 --> 00:11:33,643 Well, yeah, but I'm not proper-smart. 184 00:11:33,643 --> 00:11:37,003 I just have parents who never bought me a toy that wasn't educational. 185 00:11:37,003 --> 00:11:41,403 Oy, Miss Rekowski. Less flirting, more exerting. 186 00:11:41,403 --> 00:11:44,003 No, I'm not flirting. I'm not. 187 00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:47,043 I wasn't flirting. She weren't flirting. I was. 188 00:11:48,563 --> 00:11:49,603 Sorry. 189 00:11:55,163 --> 00:11:56,363 What's wrong? 190 00:12:12,443 --> 00:12:14,683 Hi, Gabby. Look this way. 191 00:12:14,683 --> 00:12:16,883 All right, Gabby? 192 00:12:16,883 --> 00:12:18,043 Hi, Gabby. 193 00:12:18,043 --> 00:12:19,403 Look at me, Gabby. 194 00:12:19,403 --> 00:12:20,683 Nice to see you again. 195 00:12:25,243 --> 00:12:28,243 Whoa! If I was 30 years younger... 196 00:12:28,243 --> 00:12:30,563 You'd still be twice her age. 197 00:12:30,563 --> 00:12:31,883 Thank you. 198 00:12:33,123 --> 00:12:35,283 Did you know? On Twitter, everyone's been debating 199 00:12:35,283 --> 00:12:36,443 who you were gonna wear today. 200 00:12:36,443 --> 00:12:38,643 Today is about me learning from my mistakes, 201 00:12:38,643 --> 00:12:40,523 and people are worrying about what I'm wearing? 202 00:12:40,523 --> 00:12:41,643 That is sick. 203 00:12:41,643 --> 00:12:42,883 Who are you wearing? 204 00:12:42,883 --> 00:12:44,843 It's a Stella McCartney. The Vampire's Wife. 205 00:12:44,843 --> 00:12:46,483 And shoes are Isabel Marant. 206 00:12:46,483 --> 00:12:47,563 Lovely. 207 00:12:47,563 --> 00:12:49,003 Am I supposed to know who she is? 208 00:12:49,003 --> 00:12:50,963 That's Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe. 209 00:12:50,963 --> 00:12:53,123 She was on that reality show where posh people have to give up 210 00:12:53,123 --> 00:12:54,723 their mobile phones and their assistants. 211 00:12:54,723 --> 00:12:56,123 It was called No Service. 212 00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:57,403 I don't own a TV. 213 00:12:57,403 --> 00:12:59,163 Too busy making vegan soap? 214 00:12:59,163 --> 00:13:02,003 No. Too busy reading books. You should try it. 215 00:13:02,003 --> 00:13:05,163 I read books. Yeah? Any that aren't about the SAS? 216 00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:08,443 Hi. Hi, friends. I'm Gabby. Hi. 217 00:13:08,443 --> 00:13:10,563 Hi! Hi, I'm Lady Gabby. 218 00:13:10,563 --> 00:13:13,003 My preferred pronouns are she, her and herself. 219 00:13:13,003 --> 00:13:15,643 I'm John. Bloke. 220 00:13:15,643 --> 00:13:16,963 I'm so sorry I'm late. 221 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,523 I'm in charge here! 222 00:13:19,523 --> 00:13:22,363 Seriously? Sorry, that came out wrong. 223 00:13:22,363 --> 00:13:23,843 Yeah, it did come out wrong. Gabby! 224 00:13:23,843 --> 00:13:25,243 They can't be here. Look this way. 225 00:13:25,243 --> 00:13:30,163 You can't be here! Go! Go! Private property! Back! Scram! 226 00:13:31,803 --> 00:13:33,243 What are you wearing? 227 00:13:33,243 --> 00:13:34,923 Oh, it's Stella McCartney. 228 00:13:34,923 --> 00:13:36,963 This is a Vampire's Wife and shoes are Isabel Marant. 229 00:13:36,963 --> 00:13:39,763 Thanks for asking. No, I don't mean, "Ooh, what are you wearing?" 230 00:13:39,763 --> 00:13:41,683 cos I'm interested, I mean, "What are you wearing?!" 231 00:13:41,683 --> 00:13:42,883 That is not appropriate. 232 00:13:42,883 --> 00:13:44,523 Put this on. 233 00:13:46,763 --> 00:13:49,243 Do I have to? Yeah, it's not a fashion show. 234 00:13:49,243 --> 00:13:50,843 You're here because you committed a crime. 235 00:13:50,843 --> 00:13:52,563 The person who designed this committed the crime. 236 00:13:52,563 --> 00:13:55,603 I mean, someone call the fashion police. Am I right? 237 00:13:55,603 --> 00:13:57,923 No, you're not right, Michael McIntyre. 238 00:13:57,923 --> 00:13:59,963 I'm docking you two hours for being late. 239 00:13:59,963 --> 00:14:01,763 Do you want another two for being a smart-aleck? 240 00:14:01,763 --> 00:14:04,083 No. Right answer. 241 00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:05,723 Toilet breaks at my discretion. 242 00:14:05,723 --> 00:14:06,963 Any questions? 243 00:14:06,963 --> 00:14:08,403 Yeah, what is this? 244 00:14:08,403 --> 00:14:09,763 Hoe. 245 00:14:09,763 --> 00:14:10,963 Excuse me? 246 00:14:14,203 --> 00:14:17,243 Yo. Respect. 247 00:14:17,243 --> 00:14:18,883 What is that? 248 00:14:18,883 --> 00:14:21,843 It's a...it's a gang sign. You're not...? 249 00:14:21,843 --> 00:14:25,523 No, it's Mr Spock's Vulcan salute from Star Trek. 250 00:14:25,523 --> 00:14:27,843 I don't think so. 251 00:14:27,843 --> 00:14:28,963 Yeah, it is. 252 00:14:31,923 --> 00:14:34,243 Oh, yeah, that... What am I thinking of, then? 253 00:14:34,243 --> 00:14:35,643 What gang was you trying to rep? 254 00:14:35,643 --> 00:14:38,563 West Side, please. Dre, Tupac, Snoop, that whole crew. 255 00:14:38,563 --> 00:14:40,923 Oh, here. I got you. 256 00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:43,323 Here you go. Like that. 257 00:14:43,323 --> 00:14:46,843 Oh, yeah, yeah. Good. Maximum respect. 258 00:14:46,843 --> 00:14:49,723 Rekowski! Walk with me. 259 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:52,843 Well, live long and prosper. 260 00:14:55,203 --> 00:14:56,643 What a nerd. 261 00:15:06,963 --> 00:15:09,843 So, your mum spoke to me. 262 00:15:11,683 --> 00:15:13,923 Said you have a scholarship... 263 00:15:13,923 --> 00:15:15,723 ..to Oxford University. 264 00:15:15,723 --> 00:15:19,443 Yeah, sorry about that. She does tell everyone. 265 00:15:19,443 --> 00:15:21,403 Must be a pretty smart doughnut. 266 00:15:21,403 --> 00:15:23,163 Don't you mean "smart cookie"? 267 00:15:23,163 --> 00:15:24,643 They both work. 268 00:15:24,643 --> 00:15:26,843 Yeah, I know all about higher education. 269 00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,843 I'm gonna apply to become a police officer, 270 00:15:28,843 --> 00:15:30,683 and education helps with that. 271 00:15:30,683 --> 00:15:32,963 So I'm actually studying for a degree myself. 272 00:15:32,963 --> 00:15:34,803 Oh, really, where are you studying? 273 00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:36,843 Have you heard of QuickieDegree.com? 274 00:15:36,843 --> 00:15:39,323 Yeah, I get the ads in my spam folder. 275 00:15:39,323 --> 00:15:40,763 Oh. 276 00:15:40,763 --> 00:15:44,243 Your mum said Oxford's threatening to revoke your scholarship. 277 00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:46,603 They haven't made a final decision. 278 00:15:46,603 --> 00:15:49,083 Apparently, they want you to get three As in your A-Levels 279 00:15:49,083 --> 00:15:52,163 and a letter of commendation from your supervisor. 280 00:15:53,643 --> 00:15:55,043 Guess who that is? 281 00:15:55,043 --> 00:15:56,403 Is it you? 282 00:15:56,403 --> 00:15:58,843 As I said, you're a smart doughnut. 283 00:15:58,843 --> 00:16:00,523 Cookie. They both work. 284 00:16:00,523 --> 00:16:03,203 I'll expect you to work hard. Show remorse. 285 00:16:03,203 --> 00:16:05,963 Prove that you can learn from your mistakes. I will. 286 00:16:07,683 --> 00:16:09,283 And I need you. 287 00:16:09,283 --> 00:16:10,843 You need me? 288 00:16:10,843 --> 00:16:12,963 To be my eyes and ears. 289 00:16:12,963 --> 00:16:15,643 Keep me posted on what's being said and done behind my back. 290 00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:17,523 I don't feel comfortable snitching. 291 00:16:17,523 --> 00:16:19,443 Oh, no, don't think of it as snitching. 292 00:16:19,443 --> 00:16:21,043 Think of it as collaborating. 293 00:16:21,043 --> 00:16:22,283 That sounds worse. 294 00:16:22,283 --> 00:16:23,963 Only cps it has connotations with the Nazis. 295 00:16:23,963 --> 00:16:25,283 Yeah, that might be it. 296 00:16:25,283 --> 00:16:29,883 Your future depends on whether or not I write that commendation. 297 00:16:30,803 --> 00:16:34,643 You need my help, I need yours. Quid pro quo. 298 00:16:36,043 --> 00:16:37,243 Do we have a deal? 299 00:16:38,323 --> 00:16:43,563 As I said, I can be a good guy or I can be a mean bastard. 300 00:16:43,563 --> 00:16:45,003 Your choice. 301 00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:52,763 Good girl. 302 00:16:58,683 --> 00:17:02,163 This must be a mistake, sir. Rani's not a thief. 303 00:17:02,163 --> 00:17:03,523 Tell him your news. Go on. 304 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,563 Mum, he doesn't care. Tell him. 305 00:17:05,563 --> 00:17:08,443 I got accepted into Oxford University. 306 00:17:08,443 --> 00:17:11,283 With a full scholarship. Why do you always leave that out? 307 00:17:11,283 --> 00:17:14,723 So, you see, sir, my daughter is a genius, not a thief. 308 00:17:20,523 --> 00:17:21,883 What is going on? 309 00:17:23,963 --> 00:17:27,563 Is this the first time you've taken something without paying, Rani? 310 00:17:27,563 --> 00:17:29,123 Yes. 311 00:17:44,723 --> 00:17:46,523 How many of these do you want to watch? 312 00:17:47,523 --> 00:17:48,963 How many are there? 313 00:18:05,843 --> 00:18:09,323 All the hard work you've done just thrown away. For what? 314 00:18:09,323 --> 00:18:12,683 Some sequined purses and miniskirts? 315 00:18:16,403 --> 00:18:18,043 It's so humiliating. 316 00:18:19,043 --> 00:18:21,203 Jerzy, are you going to say anything? 317 00:18:22,483 --> 00:18:26,963 If you lie, cheat or steal again... 318 00:18:29,003 --> 00:18:31,123 ..there is no place for you in this family. 319 00:18:33,323 --> 00:18:34,563 Jerzy, I didn't mean... 320 00:18:34,563 --> 00:18:35,803 You wanted me to talk, I'm talking. 321 00:18:37,603 --> 00:18:41,683 If you get so much as a parking ticket from this moment on, 322 00:18:41,683 --> 00:18:43,203 you are dead to us. 323 00:18:44,683 --> 00:18:45,963 Rekowski! 324 00:18:45,963 --> 00:18:47,243 We have to go in now. 325 00:18:48,283 --> 00:18:49,363 Come on. 326 00:19:08,403 --> 00:19:11,483 Hey, can you take my picture for Instagram? 327 00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:13,363 What did your last servant die of? 328 00:19:14,563 --> 00:19:16,003 I think it was just old age. 329 00:19:16,003 --> 00:19:17,923 You have actual servants? 330 00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:20,723 Daddy does, yeah, but you can't call them servants any more. 331 00:19:20,723 --> 00:19:24,243 They prefer "staff". Will you take my picture, please? 332 00:19:24,243 --> 00:19:26,763 Why do you want a picture of this dump? For my followers. 333 00:19:26,763 --> 00:19:29,043 You have followers? What, like Jesus? 334 00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:31,563 Oh, no, I'm not like Jesus. He only had 12. 335 00:19:31,563 --> 00:19:33,363 I've got 1.2 million. 336 00:19:33,363 --> 00:19:36,003 No, look, I do understand what you're saying. 337 00:19:36,003 --> 00:19:38,923 And we've been banking with you since 1980. 338 00:19:38,923 --> 00:19:40,563 It's like a couple of little hiccups, 339 00:19:40,563 --> 00:19:43,163 and "Thank you for 40 years of business, now piss off." 340 00:19:43,163 --> 00:19:44,563 Oy! No phones. 341 00:19:44,563 --> 00:19:45,843 Yes, one second, please. 342 00:19:45,843 --> 00:19:48,083 I'm just trying to keep a roof over my kid's heads. 343 00:19:48,083 --> 00:19:50,883 I'm meeting with the Chinese today and I will make them sign. 344 00:19:50,883 --> 00:19:52,963 Give me your phone. Just go away. How about that? 345 00:19:52,963 --> 00:19:55,763 OK? I need two weeks for the money to come through. 346 00:19:55,763 --> 00:19:57,923 The Chinese will sign. The Chinese will sign. 347 00:19:57,923 --> 00:20:00,003 Thank you very much indeed. Three, two, one. There you go. 348 00:20:00,003 --> 00:20:02,283 Thank you so much. No more calls. You're here to work. 349 00:20:02,283 --> 00:20:04,563 That was work! OK? 350 00:20:04,563 --> 00:20:06,443 This is detention. 351 00:20:09,403 --> 00:20:11,923 Have you ever have Chinese wine? What? 352 00:20:11,923 --> 00:20:15,963 If you do business with the Chinese, they'll want to drink with you. 353 00:20:15,963 --> 00:20:20,163 Makes them feel they can trust you. Chinese call it guanxi. 354 00:20:20,163 --> 00:20:22,403 Well, thank you for that advice, Confucius. 355 00:20:22,403 --> 00:20:24,403 Do you want to get back to shovelling shit? 356 00:20:24,403 --> 00:20:27,483 Be warned, though, if they bring out the ol' Chinese wine 357 00:20:27,483 --> 00:20:29,763 cos that neck oil is lethal. 358 00:20:29,763 --> 00:20:33,843 When I was in Beijing, I knew a tiny Chinaman who'd drink me 359 00:20:33,843 --> 00:20:35,083 under the table. 360 00:20:35,083 --> 00:20:37,683 We don't say "Chinaman" nowadays. 361 00:20:37,683 --> 00:20:39,843 The political correctness brigade have ruled 362 00:20:39,843 --> 00:20:41,403 you can't say Chinaman any more. 363 00:20:41,403 --> 00:20:43,723 You can still say Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman, though, 364 00:20:43,723 --> 00:20:45,083 so at least our jokes are safe. 365 00:20:45,083 --> 00:20:46,563 Oh, bless. 366 00:20:46,563 --> 00:20:49,643 I know you white blokes have had it good since the Bronze Age 367 00:20:49,643 --> 00:20:51,883 and the last couple of years might have been a bit confusing, 368 00:20:51,883 --> 00:20:55,203 but if you find yourself thinking, "Is this offensive?" 369 00:20:55,203 --> 00:20:58,323 just assume that it is and go about your business. 370 00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:01,243 Oy! Are you lot working over there or gassing? 371 00:21:01,243 --> 00:21:06,003 We're working, boss! Harder than a prostitute with two mattresses. 372 00:21:18,203 --> 00:21:19,643 I think it's too risky. 373 00:21:19,643 --> 00:21:20,963 Me too. 374 00:21:22,043 --> 00:21:24,563 No-one asked your opinion, bruv. 375 00:21:24,563 --> 00:21:27,483 Yeah, it's risky, but do we got another play? 376 00:21:27,483 --> 00:21:30,043 Say the word and I'll do it right now. 377 00:21:30,043 --> 00:21:33,123 No, no, not yet. We need more leverage first. 378 00:21:39,843 --> 00:21:41,843 I went to this epic music festival in Goa 379 00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:44,563 called the Festival of Peace and Light. Have you been? 380 00:21:44,563 --> 00:21:46,083 No. 381 00:21:46,083 --> 00:21:47,803 Just...fantastic. 382 00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:53,963 Mm, want some? 383 00:21:53,963 --> 00:21:55,283 No, no, no. 384 00:21:56,683 --> 00:21:59,323 Hey, bruv. You want some piff? It's high grade. 385 00:21:59,323 --> 00:22:02,003 Thanks, but I'm good for piff. 386 00:22:02,003 --> 00:22:04,563 The Festival of Peace and Light actually inspired me 387 00:22:04,563 --> 00:22:06,963 to organise a music festival of my own. 388 00:22:06,963 --> 00:22:08,683 Like Glastonbury? 389 00:22:08,683 --> 00:22:10,243 Less muddy, more magical. 390 00:22:10,243 --> 00:22:13,083 So, there's gonna be luxury yurts, regular yurts, slam poetry, 391 00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:16,723 yoga, Ed Sheeran. I mean, everything you've ever wanted, right? 392 00:22:16,723 --> 00:22:19,683 You know me so well. 393 00:22:19,683 --> 00:22:21,363 You sure you don't want some piff? 394 00:22:21,363 --> 00:22:22,843 All right, why not? 395 00:22:24,843 --> 00:22:27,003 Somewhere around here. Exactly. Hey! 396 00:22:27,003 --> 00:22:29,083 Put that out, will ya? 397 00:22:29,083 --> 00:22:31,923 Not getting extra hours cos of your sort. Your sort? 398 00:22:31,923 --> 00:22:35,203 Yeah, the sort that would rather stand there smoking a joint or 399 00:22:35,203 --> 00:22:38,923 stealing, dealing drugs or whatever than just doing a decent days' work. 400 00:22:38,923 --> 00:22:41,803 Oh, stealing, dealing drugs. Why you saying that? Cos he's black? 401 00:22:41,803 --> 00:22:43,003 Because he's here. 402 00:22:43,003 --> 00:22:44,363 So are you, mate. 403 00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:47,243 Yeah, because of his sort. Come here, give me the joint. 404 00:22:47,243 --> 00:22:48,403 What? What are you doing? 405 00:22:48,403 --> 00:22:50,763 Just give me the joint. Stop it. Stop! 406 00:22:50,763 --> 00:22:54,203 That's enough! What are you doing?! 407 00:22:54,203 --> 00:22:57,963 All right, stop... Stop it! 408 00:22:59,563 --> 00:23:01,963 An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. 409 00:23:03,323 --> 00:23:06,803 Cut it out! Right now! 410 00:23:18,683 --> 00:23:20,203 Who's this belong to? 411 00:23:20,203 --> 00:23:21,763 It's his. No, it ain't. 412 00:23:21,763 --> 00:23:25,923 Somebody owns up or everyone gets five more hours. 413 00:23:25,923 --> 00:23:29,083 You can't do that. He can do that. Mr Wilder's a senior officer. 414 00:23:29,083 --> 00:23:30,163 Whose is it? 415 00:23:30,163 --> 00:23:32,563 I've just told you whose it is. It's his. 416 00:23:32,563 --> 00:23:34,283 Ask her, she knows. 417 00:23:34,283 --> 00:23:36,683 If you know something, speak up. 418 00:23:47,163 --> 00:23:49,243 We... It's mine. 419 00:23:54,683 --> 00:23:56,603 No, it isn't. It's mine. 420 00:23:57,883 --> 00:23:59,883 Five more hours for both of you. 421 00:23:59,883 --> 00:24:01,523 Why is he getting five more hours? 422 00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:02,803 For lying. 423 00:24:02,803 --> 00:24:04,563 Do you want five more hours for sticking your nose in? 424 00:24:04,563 --> 00:24:07,603 Yeah. You should give me five more for this as well. 425 00:24:09,003 --> 00:24:13,243 You all seem to have forgotten that you're all here instead of jail. 426 00:24:14,283 --> 00:24:16,243 So, try not to forget this. 427 00:24:16,243 --> 00:24:20,563 Any of you lot walk, talk or think out of line, 428 00:24:20,563 --> 00:24:22,683 I will make sure that all of you 429 00:24:22,683 --> 00:24:25,643 spend the rest of your hours behind bars. 430 00:24:27,203 --> 00:24:28,563 Understood? 431 00:24:28,563 --> 00:24:30,563 Yes. 432 00:24:34,043 --> 00:24:36,803 All right, pack it up people. We'll do it all again tomorrow. 433 00:24:36,803 --> 00:24:40,043 Apart from the fighting. And the ganja. 434 00:24:42,723 --> 00:24:44,163 Sir? 435 00:24:44,163 --> 00:24:45,963 I did actually have things under control. 436 00:24:45,963 --> 00:24:49,043 In what universe is pot-smoking junkies wrestling 437 00:24:49,043 --> 00:24:51,163 "having things under control"? 438 00:25:01,163 --> 00:25:02,683 Thank you. 439 00:26:12,683 --> 00:26:14,003 Good luck, Daddy. 440 00:26:14,003 --> 00:26:16,883 Mum says if the meeting goes well, we can have pizza! 441 00:26:16,883 --> 00:26:19,403 I did say that, yes. OK, good luck, sweetheart. 442 00:26:19,403 --> 00:26:20,723 We love you so much. 443 00:26:31,203 --> 00:26:33,843 Oh, this is sick! 444 00:26:33,843 --> 00:26:36,523 Es. Es, take that off. Come on, let's go. 445 00:26:36,523 --> 00:26:40,643 Yo, check it out. Virtual reality. 446 00:26:40,643 --> 00:26:43,363 She's walking around a club in Miami right now. 447 00:26:43,363 --> 00:26:44,643 Come on, Es. Let's go. 448 00:26:47,363 --> 00:26:48,923 Shit, man. 449 00:26:48,923 --> 00:26:50,403 Home, now. 450 00:26:50,403 --> 00:26:51,643 You seem tense, blud. 451 00:26:51,643 --> 00:26:55,523 They do virtual porn - you should have a tug, let off some steam. 452 00:26:59,283 --> 00:27:00,523 Come on, let's go home. 453 00:27:00,523 --> 00:27:02,763 Here, Es. 454 00:27:02,763 --> 00:27:05,043 Take this 50. Buy yourself something nice. 455 00:27:05,043 --> 00:27:06,563 She don't want it. 456 00:27:06,563 --> 00:27:07,763 Yeah, I do. It's free money. 457 00:27:07,763 --> 00:27:09,723 No, it's not. Let's go. 458 00:27:12,403 --> 00:27:14,563 Es, I'll hold if for you, yeah? Yeah! 459 00:27:15,563 --> 00:27:17,203 Why do I have to keep telling you all the time? 460 00:27:17,203 --> 00:27:18,963 Stop hanging with these people. 461 00:27:18,963 --> 00:27:21,043 Come on. Why do I have to keep... 462 00:27:22,403 --> 00:27:23,883 And, uh, we're very proud 463 00:27:23,883 --> 00:27:26,563 of the fact that, from those humble beginnings, 464 00:27:26,563 --> 00:27:31,923 we now find ourselves standing here in this 50,000 square foot space. 465 00:27:33,523 --> 00:27:36,363 But let's, uh, let's, let's talk more about, uh, 466 00:27:36,363 --> 00:27:39,483 the family side of the business and, uh... 467 00:27:42,763 --> 00:27:46,443 ..where we've come from and really where we intend to go. 468 00:27:47,643 --> 00:27:50,403 You can really see the...the year-on-year growth, 469 00:27:50,403 --> 00:27:53,363 and it's this growth that will mark a significant return 470 00:27:53,363 --> 00:27:55,043 on your investment. 471 00:27:57,843 --> 00:28:01,243 And make a partnership with Halloran and Son 472 00:28:01,243 --> 00:28:03,523 the only sensible choice. 473 00:28:05,603 --> 00:28:06,963 Xie xie. 474 00:28:06,963 --> 00:28:08,683 ♪ Then we danced all night... ♪ 475 00:28:08,683 --> 00:28:10,243 Zhao! 476 00:28:13,883 --> 00:28:16,203 I'm very sorry. Please excuse my daughter. 477 00:28:18,323 --> 00:28:22,483 She loves all things British - One Direction, Little Mix, 478 00:28:22,483 --> 00:28:23,763 Brooklyn Beckham... 479 00:28:23,763 --> 00:28:27,443 Well, um, on behalf of Britain, I can only apologise. 480 00:28:29,603 --> 00:28:31,483 Yes. 481 00:28:37,923 --> 00:28:40,963 Our company has built an impeccable reputation 482 00:28:40,963 --> 00:28:42,243 for integrity and honesty. 483 00:28:42,243 --> 00:28:44,283 So, I hope this doesn't offend you, 484 00:28:44,283 --> 00:28:47,963 but is there anything that we should know about you or your father 485 00:28:47,963 --> 00:28:50,363 that could bring our company into disrepute? 486 00:28:54,283 --> 00:28:55,523 There is not. 487 00:28:56,803 --> 00:28:58,083 Meiyou. 488 00:29:00,323 --> 00:29:03,563 I'm sure you'd agree that business is based on trust. 489 00:29:05,923 --> 00:29:08,083 Why should we entrust our money to you? 490 00:29:11,003 --> 00:29:12,243 Um... 491 00:29:15,123 --> 00:29:17,843 Why should, why... Yes, um... 492 00:29:19,163 --> 00:29:20,563 Why? 493 00:29:25,163 --> 00:29:27,083 You, uh, 494 00:29:27,083 --> 00:29:29,043 you keep your family close. 495 00:29:29,043 --> 00:29:31,763 Maybe one day when you retire, your daughter there 496 00:29:31,763 --> 00:29:33,523 will take the company reins, 497 00:29:33,523 --> 00:29:35,803 if she can stay off her phone long enough. 498 00:29:41,523 --> 00:29:46,003 My, uh, my father built this company from nothing. 499 00:29:46,003 --> 00:29:47,803 Worked every hour God gave. 500 00:29:47,803 --> 00:29:50,963 Never, never bellyached, never asked for a...a hand-out... 501 00:29:52,163 --> 00:29:56,323 On the day he retired, he had four bidders begging to buy. 502 00:29:56,323 --> 00:29:57,763 But he didn't sell. 503 00:29:59,243 --> 00:30:01,843 He handed the business to me. 504 00:30:01,843 --> 00:30:05,203 And, uh, I asked him, I said, uh, you know, why? 505 00:30:05,203 --> 00:30:06,523 Why me? 506 00:30:06,523 --> 00:30:09,003 And, um, he told me, he said, 507 00:30:09,003 --> 00:30:12,123 "Trust, son, is the key to any relationship, 508 00:30:12,123 --> 00:30:14,003 "business or otherwise. 509 00:30:14,003 --> 00:30:18,363 "And who can you trust if you can't trust family?" 510 00:30:18,363 --> 00:30:21,723 This is a family business, Chairman Yang. 511 00:30:21,723 --> 00:30:25,683 You place your trust in me, and you become part of that family. 512 00:30:25,683 --> 00:30:29,243 And, sir, I never let my family down. 513 00:30:40,763 --> 00:30:42,163 Mr Halloran, 514 00:30:42,163 --> 00:30:44,243 if you prepare the contracts for review, 515 00:30:44,243 --> 00:30:45,763 we'd like to sign tomorrow. 516 00:30:47,683 --> 00:30:50,843 That's, uh, that's great. That's great. 517 00:30:52,643 --> 00:30:55,683 Right, well, I don't know about you, but, uh, 518 00:30:55,683 --> 00:30:59,763 I always find closing deals very, very thirsty work. 519 00:30:59,763 --> 00:31:02,123 So, uh, please, grab...grab a glass and, uh... 520 00:31:05,803 --> 00:31:06,843 Yeah. 521 00:31:14,923 --> 00:31:16,243 I met a girl today. 522 00:31:16,243 --> 00:31:17,723 Player. 523 00:31:17,723 --> 00:31:19,483 I want you to talk to her about school. 524 00:31:25,603 --> 00:31:27,123 I know you're mad at me. 525 00:31:28,323 --> 00:31:30,883 But why have you got to hang out with them when I told you not to? 526 00:31:33,563 --> 00:31:37,123 This is our family. Yeah? You and me. 527 00:31:37,123 --> 00:31:38,723 Not them. 528 00:31:38,723 --> 00:31:41,083 You're not my family. You're a joke. 529 00:31:41,083 --> 00:31:43,803 I'm your brother. Show some respect. 530 00:31:43,803 --> 00:31:45,043 Respect what? 531 00:31:45,043 --> 00:31:47,243 They're down there getting in a Range Rover. 532 00:31:47,243 --> 00:31:50,203 You're up here, unpeggin' your little sister's underwear. 533 00:31:55,363 --> 00:31:57,243 What were the other people like? 534 00:31:58,363 --> 00:31:59,603 Fine. 535 00:32:01,283 --> 00:32:03,483 Did you do everything you were told? 536 00:32:05,163 --> 00:32:06,323 Yeah. 537 00:32:10,083 --> 00:32:12,443 Is this our fault? 538 00:32:12,443 --> 00:32:14,043 Did we do something? 539 00:32:14,043 --> 00:32:15,243 No. 540 00:32:19,003 --> 00:32:22,883 We were too soft on you. We should've set more boundaries. 541 00:32:22,883 --> 00:32:26,083 We should never have taken the parental control off Netflix. 542 00:32:26,083 --> 00:32:27,603 Mum... 543 00:32:27,603 --> 00:32:30,723 Mum, it's not your fault. 544 00:32:33,483 --> 00:32:36,403 You promise me, whatever this was about, 545 00:32:36,403 --> 00:32:38,203 this is the end of it. 546 00:32:40,483 --> 00:32:42,003 Promise. 547 00:32:52,243 --> 00:32:53,483 Margie. 548 00:32:53,483 --> 00:32:55,443 Put it down. I'd like to help. 549 00:32:56,483 --> 00:32:58,203 I don't need your help. Put that down. 550 00:32:58,203 --> 00:33:00,163 Put it down. 551 00:33:03,003 --> 00:33:06,803 While I was inside, I had time to think about all the people 552 00:33:06,803 --> 00:33:08,723 I effed around in my day. 553 00:33:08,723 --> 00:33:10,763 You're top of the list, Margie. 554 00:33:12,283 --> 00:33:13,523 I want to make that right. 555 00:33:13,523 --> 00:33:15,163 Oh, yeah? 556 00:33:15,163 --> 00:33:16,203 On my life. 557 00:33:16,203 --> 00:33:18,523 Don't promise on your life. Don't you dare. 558 00:33:18,523 --> 00:33:20,923 You have fooled me 10,000 times, not again. 559 00:33:20,923 --> 00:33:23,323 I said that you could stay until the tag comes off. 560 00:33:23,323 --> 00:33:26,283 After that I don't want you in my or my kids' lives a second longer. 561 00:33:26,283 --> 00:33:27,923 Is that clear? 562 00:33:29,923 --> 00:33:31,003 Crystal. 563 00:33:50,083 --> 00:33:54,003 Keep it down. Fucking human pipe cleaner. 564 00:33:54,003 --> 00:33:55,923 Sorry. 565 00:33:55,923 --> 00:33:57,363 You OK? 566 00:33:57,363 --> 00:33:59,123 Chinese wine. 567 00:33:59,123 --> 00:34:02,443 Hoo! I told you. Lethal. Yeah. 568 00:34:02,443 --> 00:34:06,323 Oh, Diane, I raised my voice to you the other day. 569 00:34:06,323 --> 00:34:09,723 That was completely unacceptable. And I-I would like to apologise. 570 00:34:09,723 --> 00:34:10,843 Accepted. 571 00:34:10,843 --> 00:34:13,683 Yeah, in other news, I've got to be somewhere by four today 572 00:34:13,683 --> 00:34:15,443 to close a very important business deal. 573 00:34:15,443 --> 00:34:18,483 I was just wondering if you could let me go just a little bit early. 574 00:34:18,483 --> 00:34:20,203 We finish at 3.30. 575 00:34:20,203 --> 00:34:22,643 I'm hoping you could make an exception for me today, OK? 576 00:34:22,643 --> 00:34:24,803 Because I...I cannot be late for this. 577 00:34:24,803 --> 00:34:28,323 Being late is a serious offence in Chinese business. 578 00:34:29,483 --> 00:34:30,883 So... 579 00:34:30,883 --> 00:34:33,043 Everyone finishes at 3.30! 580 00:34:33,043 --> 00:34:35,283 Ah, you... For Christ's sake, woman! 581 00:34:35,283 --> 00:34:37,523 I'm just trying to keep my business from going under, 582 00:34:37,523 --> 00:34:40,003 but no, let's...let's sweep some old CDs. 583 00:34:43,843 --> 00:34:48,403 So...what's your first impressions of our little gang? 584 00:34:51,643 --> 00:34:53,243 Everyone's a type. 585 00:34:53,243 --> 00:34:54,763 A type? 586 00:34:54,763 --> 00:34:58,803 Um, you've got your right-wing blowhard, 587 00:34:58,803 --> 00:35:00,683 left-wing militant, 588 00:35:00,683 --> 00:35:02,723 celebutante, 589 00:35:02,723 --> 00:35:05,083 shifty old-timer, 590 00:35:05,083 --> 00:35:06,883 and whatever the hell he is. 591 00:35:07,923 --> 00:35:10,923 OK. What type am I? 592 00:35:10,923 --> 00:35:13,163 The bad boy. 593 00:35:13,163 --> 00:35:14,483 Why? 594 00:35:14,483 --> 00:35:16,843 What, is it cos I've got all these tats? 595 00:35:16,843 --> 00:35:18,883 Yeah, tattoos aren't that rebellious any more. 596 00:35:18,883 --> 00:35:20,403 You know who has tattoos? 597 00:35:20,403 --> 00:35:21,683 Dame Judi Dench. 598 00:35:21,683 --> 00:35:24,523 Well, then, Dame Judi Dench is a straight up OG like me. 599 00:35:26,723 --> 00:35:27,923 What type are you? 600 00:35:29,403 --> 00:35:30,963 Studious Asian good girl. 601 00:35:30,963 --> 00:35:34,683 Mm. So, why does the studious Asian good girl 602 00:35:34,683 --> 00:35:36,883 shoplift? 603 00:35:36,883 --> 00:35:39,283 Probably because my dad never gave me 604 00:35:39,283 --> 00:35:42,243 the freedom to go to parties or hang out in a bus shelter with friends. 605 00:35:42,243 --> 00:35:44,803 Yeah, I've done that. It's not as incredible as it sounds. 606 00:35:44,803 --> 00:35:48,923 To be fair to my dad, he grew up in Poland under communism. 607 00:35:48,923 --> 00:35:52,323 So, his idea of freedom is drinking a can of Pepsi. 608 00:35:55,723 --> 00:35:57,123 Would you do me a favour? 609 00:35:57,123 --> 00:35:58,643 What kind of favour? 610 00:35:58,643 --> 00:36:00,563 My sister's clever, like you. 611 00:36:00,563 --> 00:36:04,403 Well, she's got her GCSEs soon, and I just can't make her study. 612 00:36:05,963 --> 00:36:08,283 Would you chat to her? 613 00:36:09,443 --> 00:36:11,483 I mean, I'm not sure what I'd say. 614 00:36:12,963 --> 00:36:14,483 But if you think it would help... 615 00:36:14,483 --> 00:36:16,003 Yeah. OK. 616 00:36:16,003 --> 00:36:18,363 Thank you. I really appreciate it. 617 00:36:37,323 --> 00:36:38,483 You OK? 618 00:36:40,283 --> 00:36:42,723 Yeah, um, uh, just gimme a second. 619 00:36:48,203 --> 00:36:51,243 I just found a deceased animal, and I can't tell if it's over 10k. 620 00:36:51,243 --> 00:36:53,083 What we talking? We're talking a dead badger. 621 00:36:53,083 --> 00:36:55,043 You'd better show me. Roger that. 622 00:36:55,043 --> 00:36:56,483 Or should it be "bodger that"? 623 00:36:56,483 --> 00:36:58,043 What? Bodger and badger? 624 00:37:15,803 --> 00:37:17,683 What's my sister doing here? 625 00:37:17,683 --> 00:37:20,403 Some men from London are running their lines into ends. 626 00:37:20,403 --> 00:37:22,523 She asked to help roll up on them. 627 00:37:22,523 --> 00:37:24,043 Well, that ain't happening. 628 00:37:24,043 --> 00:37:26,403 She says she wants to put in work, innit? 629 00:37:26,403 --> 00:37:31,003 Think about it, yeah? If I say no, that ain't woke. 630 00:37:31,003 --> 00:37:33,123 In this post-MeToo era, 631 00:37:33,123 --> 00:37:36,163 that kind of blatant sexism can get you cancelled. 632 00:37:36,163 --> 00:37:39,163 My sister ain't puttin' in work for you. 633 00:37:39,163 --> 00:37:40,843 Then who is? 634 00:37:42,363 --> 00:37:45,163 Oh, shit, man. I've paid my debts. 635 00:37:45,163 --> 00:37:47,283 I ain't asking permission, I'm telling you - 636 00:37:47,283 --> 00:37:48,803 someone's doin' dirt tonight, 637 00:37:48,803 --> 00:37:50,923 And if it ain't you, it's your little sister. 638 00:37:55,163 --> 00:37:56,963 What do you want me to do? 639 00:37:56,963 --> 00:37:59,083 They're sat in a trap house in Lawrence Hill. 640 00:37:59,083 --> 00:38:02,123 They've got a line with fiends callin' from Bristol to Penzance. 641 00:38:02,123 --> 00:38:03,523 I need that phone. 642 00:38:03,523 --> 00:38:05,883 Oh, cos they're just gonna hand over the line because I ask nicely? 643 00:38:05,883 --> 00:38:08,883 Nah. That's why you need this. 644 00:38:10,403 --> 00:38:11,763 Put that away. 645 00:38:11,763 --> 00:38:14,643 Shut up, man. Don't act like you ain't never seen a strap before. 646 00:38:16,203 --> 00:38:18,603 Where's the spot? 647 00:38:18,603 --> 00:38:20,523 32 Rossmore Avenue. 648 00:38:21,563 --> 00:38:25,683 Look, if I do this for you, Esme don't hang with you no more. 649 00:38:25,683 --> 00:38:28,083 And I ain't asking you, I'm telling you. 650 00:38:54,243 --> 00:38:55,883 Yeah, we'll call in the council. 651 00:39:09,723 --> 00:39:14,003 Hi, Clive, it's Diane. Yeah, another code blue. Fire up the incinerator. 652 00:39:14,003 --> 00:39:15,723 We're talking dead badger. 653 00:39:21,043 --> 00:39:24,523 All right, roger that. Or should that be "bodger that"? 654 00:39:25,723 --> 00:39:27,523 I know, yeah. I just thought of it now. 655 00:39:28,563 --> 00:39:30,283 All right, thanks, Clive, bye-bye. 656 00:39:30,283 --> 00:39:31,523 You stole my joke. 657 00:39:31,523 --> 00:39:33,923 Do you want five more hours?! No. 658 00:39:35,803 --> 00:39:38,563 Home time. Tools away. 659 00:39:42,403 --> 00:39:44,003 Great. Yeah. 660 00:39:47,123 --> 00:39:49,963 All right, come on, let's pick up the pace, people. 661 00:39:49,963 --> 00:39:52,563 Oy! You don't give the orders. 662 00:39:52,563 --> 00:39:55,003 OK, come on, let's pick up the pace, people! 663 00:39:57,483 --> 00:39:59,083 Everyone, freeze! 664 00:40:01,643 --> 00:40:03,643 Someone better explain... 665 00:40:04,683 --> 00:40:06,283 ..about the gun. 666 00:40:10,243 --> 00:40:12,643 A heat gun is missing. 667 00:40:12,643 --> 00:40:14,563 Empty your pockets. 668 00:40:14,563 --> 00:40:15,963 Open your bags. 669 00:40:15,963 --> 00:40:17,243 I'm conducting a search. 670 00:40:18,203 --> 00:40:19,483 Open your bag. 671 00:40:22,203 --> 00:40:25,843 Files, headphones... 672 00:40:25,843 --> 00:40:29,163 She Gone - Coping With Divorce. 673 00:40:29,163 --> 00:40:32,123 Oh, I'm so sorry. I just broke up with someone, too. 674 00:40:32,123 --> 00:40:33,163 How long has it been? 675 00:40:33,163 --> 00:40:34,883 Since Pancake Day last year. 676 00:40:34,883 --> 00:40:38,443 She sent me out to get a Jif lemon, and when I came back, she was gone. 677 00:40:39,603 --> 00:40:42,603 People, let's not get side-tracked by Greg's failed marriage. 678 00:40:42,603 --> 00:40:45,363 A heat gun is missing. This is serious. 679 00:40:45,363 --> 00:40:47,723 I'll buy you a new one. OK? Can we please just go? 680 00:41:05,603 --> 00:41:07,683 Is that yours too? 681 00:41:07,683 --> 00:41:09,323 - That one's his. - No, it ain't. 682 00:41:09,323 --> 00:41:10,803 What, you're a liar and a thief? 683 00:41:10,803 --> 00:41:13,763 Oh, his sort, must be the thief. 684 00:41:13,763 --> 00:41:16,483 You do know not every coloured person is a living saint? 685 00:41:16,483 --> 00:41:19,763 We don't say coloured person. We say person of colour. 686 00:41:19,763 --> 00:41:22,123 I'll give you £1,000 if you can tell me the difference. 687 00:41:22,123 --> 00:41:24,603 Why don't you just ask people how they'd like to be described? 688 00:41:24,603 --> 00:41:28,323 For instance, would you like to be known as caveman or dinosaur? 689 00:41:28,323 --> 00:41:29,843 Enough! 690 00:41:29,843 --> 00:41:31,323 Pass it here. 691 00:41:40,963 --> 00:41:42,283 Is this your bag? 692 00:41:42,283 --> 00:41:43,883 Never seen it before. 693 00:41:43,883 --> 00:41:45,843 That's bullocks! I've seen him with it. 694 00:41:45,843 --> 00:41:47,323 So has she. 695 00:41:47,323 --> 00:41:48,723 Is that true? 696 00:41:50,323 --> 00:41:51,483 Three words. 697 00:41:51,483 --> 00:41:55,003 Quid pro quo. Is this his bag? 698 00:42:00,403 --> 00:42:01,643 Yeah. 699 00:42:03,083 --> 00:42:04,323 Thank you. 700 00:42:33,043 --> 00:42:34,683 Everyone on the bus. 701 00:42:34,683 --> 00:42:36,683 Hallelujah. Thank you so much, Diane, 702 00:42:36,683 --> 00:42:38,563 for those five minutes we're never getting back. 703 00:42:44,443 --> 00:42:46,723 Snitches get stitches. 704 00:42:46,723 --> 00:42:48,043 All right, leave her alone. 705 00:42:48,043 --> 00:42:49,963 There's a code. What's the code? 706 00:42:49,963 --> 00:42:51,323 No snitching! 707 00:42:51,323 --> 00:42:55,203 Ha! Yeah, the noble criminal code, huh? 708 00:42:55,203 --> 00:42:59,043 We can rob, steal and murder, but, uh, telling on one another, 709 00:42:59,043 --> 00:43:00,523 that's...that's where we draw the line. 710 00:43:00,523 --> 00:43:02,923 We're supposed to stick together. 711 00:43:02,923 --> 00:43:04,403 There's no "we" here. 712 00:43:23,163 --> 00:43:24,843 Uh-bup-bup... 713 00:43:36,923 --> 00:43:39,803 Empty out your pockets. Bags go through the machine. 714 00:43:39,803 --> 00:43:41,363 You've got to be kidding me! 715 00:43:43,403 --> 00:43:45,003 I need to speak to you. 716 00:43:45,003 --> 00:43:46,363 I've got somewhere to be. 717 00:43:46,363 --> 00:43:47,923 But I really need to speak to you. 718 00:43:52,963 --> 00:43:54,163 Rani! 719 00:43:57,363 --> 00:43:59,443 Oh, come on! 720 00:43:59,443 --> 00:44:00,843 Belt off, please. 721 00:44:04,083 --> 00:44:05,603 Rekowski. 722 00:44:06,803 --> 00:44:08,483 Go home. This is not a Youth Club. 723 00:44:08,483 --> 00:44:10,483 Uh, we were...we were just talking about... 724 00:44:10,483 --> 00:44:13,763 I'm sure you'll see her again soon. Go on, Valentino. Off you go. 725 00:44:16,923 --> 00:44:18,563 This'll surprise you, 726 00:44:18,563 --> 00:44:20,203 but when I was your age... 727 00:44:21,803 --> 00:44:23,723 ..I was unpopular too. 728 00:44:23,723 --> 00:44:25,923 Yeah, that is a shock. 729 00:44:25,923 --> 00:44:27,323 I heard the talk. 730 00:44:27,323 --> 00:44:30,763 You'll always get grief for doing the right thing. So, ignore 'em. 731 00:44:30,763 --> 00:44:32,603 They're not your friends. 732 00:44:32,603 --> 00:44:35,123 The only friend you have around here is me. 733 00:44:35,123 --> 00:44:39,763 And you did good today, OK? It's going in your report. 734 00:44:39,763 --> 00:44:41,443 Feel better? 735 00:44:44,203 --> 00:44:45,523 What's going on here? 736 00:44:45,523 --> 00:44:49,163 Oh, a heat gun has gone missing, sir. I'm investigating. 737 00:44:49,163 --> 00:44:50,643 Investigating? 738 00:44:50,643 --> 00:44:53,163 Well, good luck with that, Columbo. 739 00:44:57,683 --> 00:44:59,683 Rekowski, through the machine. 740 00:45:02,003 --> 00:45:03,443 Excuse me. 741 00:45:05,243 --> 00:45:07,243 Less gawking, more walking. 742 00:45:11,083 --> 00:45:12,243 Anything? 743 00:45:13,723 --> 00:45:16,003 What are you doing? You don't have to take your shoes off. 744 00:45:16,003 --> 00:45:17,483 It's not the bloody airport. 745 00:45:17,483 --> 00:45:19,563 Looks like an airport, doesn't it? 746 00:45:19,563 --> 00:45:22,043 With the metal detector and the... 747 00:45:22,043 --> 00:45:23,123 Well, it isn't. 748 00:45:29,563 --> 00:45:31,923 All right, let's go. It looks like an airport. 749 00:45:33,923 --> 00:45:35,123 Whoa, whoa! 750 00:45:35,123 --> 00:45:37,403 Step back! Step back! Come back through, please, sir. 751 00:45:37,403 --> 00:45:39,363 I need to conduct a thorough search. 752 00:45:47,403 --> 00:45:48,803 Is that allowed? 753 00:45:50,203 --> 00:45:51,843 Well, that's not mine. 754 00:45:51,843 --> 00:45:54,443 No, it isn't. Property of Probation Service. 755 00:45:54,443 --> 00:45:55,723 Nothing gets past me. 756 00:45:55,723 --> 00:45:57,563 I've caught the thief, sir. I'm not a thief. 757 00:45:57,563 --> 00:46:00,043 If you'll pass me Her Majesty's bracelets, I'll cuff him. 758 00:46:00,043 --> 00:46:03,163 Cuff me? Right, where's the heat gun? Is it still on your person? 759 00:46:03,163 --> 00:46:05,483 I'm gonna need some rubber gloves as well! 760 00:46:05,483 --> 00:46:06,803 No, you're not. Walk very slowly. 761 00:46:06,803 --> 00:46:09,363 You're not going to need any gloves. We're not in Guantanamo Bay. 762 00:46:09,363 --> 00:46:11,523 Anything could slip out en route. Come on. 763 00:46:15,403 --> 00:46:16,843 Um... 764 00:46:18,323 --> 00:46:21,163 That, uh, boy asked if I'd read his sister's course work. 765 00:46:21,163 --> 00:46:22,323 Can I tell him that's OK? 766 00:46:24,323 --> 00:46:25,443 OK, quickly. 767 00:46:29,403 --> 00:46:33,243 You tell your sister that I am more than happy to help. 768 00:46:37,003 --> 00:46:38,843 Whatever they're making you do... 769 00:46:40,363 --> 00:46:42,723 ..please don't. 770 00:46:42,723 --> 00:46:44,083 Rani! 771 00:46:59,003 --> 00:47:00,843 Come on! 772 00:47:02,403 --> 00:47:03,723 Come on! 773 00:47:08,483 --> 00:47:09,723 Hello, Dad. 774 00:47:09,723 --> 00:47:10,763 Did they sign? 775 00:47:10,763 --> 00:47:12,523 I'm just on my way. You're late?! 776 00:47:12,523 --> 00:47:14,123 Jesus, I knew I should've done this myself. 777 00:47:14,123 --> 00:47:16,243 Do I have to hold your hand to sign your own bloody name?! 778 00:47:16,243 --> 00:47:18,483 No, Dad, everything's fine. 779 00:47:18,483 --> 00:47:20,203 To be late is offensive in Chinese business. 780 00:47:20,203 --> 00:47:21,803 Yeah, I'm... I'm aware of that. 781 00:47:21,803 --> 00:47:23,723 By God, if you screw this up, I... 782 00:47:23,723 --> 00:47:25,203 Just call me when it's done! 783 00:47:25,203 --> 00:47:26,483 I'm... 784 00:47:35,723 --> 00:47:37,883 Define metallic bonding. 785 00:47:37,883 --> 00:47:41,043 The electrostatic attraction between delocalised electrons 786 00:47:41,043 --> 00:47:42,963 and positive metal ions. 787 00:47:42,963 --> 00:47:47,643 Hmm, correct. What is the octet rule? 788 00:47:49,523 --> 00:47:52,763 Elements combine in a covalent compound 789 00:47:52,763 --> 00:47:56,043 with eight electrons in their outer shell. 790 00:47:56,043 --> 00:47:57,283 Are they bothering you? 791 00:47:57,283 --> 00:47:58,323 No. 792 00:47:59,443 --> 00:48:03,363 Hey. Hey! Can you keep the noise down, please? 793 00:48:03,363 --> 00:48:04,843 My daughter is studying up here. 794 00:48:04,843 --> 00:48:06,523 Fuck off! Get out of here, man. 795 00:48:09,363 --> 00:48:11,203 They have all the privileges in the world, 796 00:48:11,203 --> 00:48:12,843 and they choose to waste their lives. 797 00:48:12,843 --> 00:48:16,643 Hmm! Good. More opportunities for you. 798 00:48:16,643 --> 00:48:19,803 Which of these is the best conductor of electricity? 799 00:48:19,803 --> 00:48:21,443 Sodium, magnesium or alu....? 800 00:48:21,443 --> 00:48:23,083 Aluminium. 801 00:48:23,083 --> 00:48:24,763 Correct. Very good. 802 00:48:45,443 --> 00:48:47,403 I'm so sorry I'm late. 803 00:48:47,403 --> 00:48:52,803 Oh, I just, uh, had a meeting with some, uh, new suppliers. 804 00:48:52,803 --> 00:48:55,563 Anyway, the exciting part, huh? 805 00:48:55,563 --> 00:48:57,643 I think we've got all the paperwork sorted, 806 00:48:57,643 --> 00:49:02,283 so now all we need is your signatures. 807 00:49:06,763 --> 00:49:09,403 Is...everything OK? 808 00:49:16,683 --> 00:49:20,603 An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. 809 00:49:22,363 --> 00:49:23,843 Stop! 810 00:50:02,443 --> 00:50:04,043 I can help with that. 811 00:50:04,043 --> 00:50:07,523 Well, I managed without your help during puberty, 812 00:50:07,523 --> 00:50:09,963 two divorces and my mother's dementia, 813 00:50:09,963 --> 00:50:11,963 so I'm pretty sure I can scrape the paint 814 00:50:11,963 --> 00:50:13,683 off an old door without you. 815 00:50:16,723 --> 00:50:18,203 What's that? 816 00:50:18,203 --> 00:50:21,403 Heat gun. For stripping paint. 817 00:50:21,403 --> 00:50:23,723 Did you steal it? No. 818 00:50:23,723 --> 00:50:25,083 Frank? 819 00:50:25,083 --> 00:50:26,443 I borrowed it. 820 00:50:32,363 --> 00:50:33,763 Plug it in. 821 00:51:22,163 --> 00:51:23,803 Bro. 822 00:51:25,443 --> 00:51:29,523 Come on, bro. It's me, man. 823 00:51:29,523 --> 00:51:31,163 Who's there? 824 00:51:31,163 --> 00:51:32,723 Hey, bro, I just need two Bs, bro. 825 00:51:32,723 --> 00:51:35,163 Eh, no man, you've got the wrong place. No, bro. Come on, man. 826 00:51:35,163 --> 00:51:36,843 Please, I've got the money on me now. 827 00:51:36,843 --> 00:51:38,523 I'll just get it out. Please, man... 828 00:51:38,523 --> 00:51:39,843 Hey, man, I said fuck off. 829 00:51:44,283 --> 00:51:45,803 What are you thinking, man? 830 00:51:46,963 --> 00:51:48,203 Sit down. 831 00:51:48,203 --> 00:51:51,243 You, move. Now! 832 00:51:57,843 --> 00:52:00,083 Where's the line? What line? 833 00:52:00,083 --> 00:52:01,843 Don't mess with me, man. Where's the phone? 834 00:52:01,843 --> 00:52:04,323 What the fuck are you talking about? I'm not gonna ask you again. 835 00:52:04,323 --> 00:52:05,723 Where the fuck is the phone?! 836 00:52:08,763 --> 00:52:10,123 Under the rug, man. 837 00:52:33,363 --> 00:52:34,523 I dare you. 838 00:52:40,163 --> 00:52:41,803 You don't want to do this, man. 839 00:52:41,803 --> 00:52:45,203 I'm telling you, bro. You're making a mistake, man. 840 00:53:04,003 --> 00:53:05,923 Do you know who you're robbing, blud? 841 00:53:12,283 --> 00:53:14,443 You don't want to walk out that door with that bag, bro. 842 00:53:14,443 --> 00:53:16,483 I'm telling you that right now. 843 00:53:43,843 --> 00:53:44,923 Hey! 844 00:53:46,443 --> 00:53:48,483 Go, go, go! Go! Go! 845 00:54:13,243 --> 00:54:15,603 Hey! This way. 846 00:55:03,083 --> 00:55:04,643 Sweetheart. 847 00:55:06,163 --> 00:55:07,763 Did they sign? 848 00:55:08,803 --> 00:55:10,323 Of course. 849 00:55:10,323 --> 00:55:12,763 We're out of the woods? 850 00:55:12,763 --> 00:55:14,123 Absolutely. 851 00:55:14,123 --> 00:55:15,563 Oh, thank God! 852 00:55:15,563 --> 00:55:16,763 Thank God. 853 00:55:21,443 --> 00:55:23,443 Did you tell your dad the good news? 854 00:55:24,363 --> 00:55:26,203 Yeah. I told him. 855 00:55:26,203 --> 00:55:29,963 Well done, sweetheart. I am so proud of you. 856 00:55:29,963 --> 00:55:31,483 Thank you. 857 00:55:43,643 --> 00:55:47,603 ♪ What will you do What will you do? 858 00:55:47,603 --> 00:55:50,363 ♪ Mm 859 00:55:50,363 --> 00:55:54,923 ♪ Every fool gets a lucky chance or two 860 00:55:57,763 --> 00:56:00,883 ♪ I've been waitin' for the cards to fall 861 00:56:00,883 --> 00:56:04,643 ♪ To catch all your mistakes 862 00:56:05,643 --> 00:56:07,883 ♪ I've been watchin' you 863 00:56:07,883 --> 00:56:10,243 ♪ To see you break 864 00:56:11,803 --> 00:56:15,403 ♪ Oh, oh, oh 865 00:56:20,163 --> 00:56:23,843 ♪ Oh, oh, oh 866 00:56:27,283 --> 00:56:29,563 ♪ I watched you grow 867 00:56:29,563 --> 00:56:33,963 ♪ I saw you fall again and again 868 00:56:35,163 --> 00:56:38,683 ♪ You cut your knee You start to bleed 869 00:56:38,683 --> 00:56:42,163 ♪ But wouldn't let the pain in 870 00:56:42,163 --> 00:56:45,243 ♪ You let the dogs bite at your ankles 871 00:56:45,243 --> 00:56:49,563 ♪ Let the sunshine burn your eyes 872 00:56:49,563 --> 00:56:54,363 ♪ But will you just walk away this time? 873 00:56:55,963 --> 00:57:01,563 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh... ♪ 874 00:57:02,803 --> 00:57:04,283 Evening, Sarge. 875 00:57:08,003 --> 00:57:10,123 Lucy. Hmm? 876 00:57:17,803 --> 00:57:19,323 This just came in? Hmm. 877 00:57:19,323 --> 00:57:22,323 CCTV from Lawrence Hill. 878 00:57:24,923 --> 00:57:30,163 ♪ I'll watch you crumble into sand 879 00:57:32,643 --> 00:57:36,883 ♪ If the right shows mercy 880 00:57:36,883 --> 00:57:42,003 ♪ I'll use the left hand. ♪ 64162

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