Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,754 --> 00:00:07,224
(bells jingling)
2
00:00:07,298 --> 00:00:11,088
(children laughing)
3
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:14,217
(joyful music playing)
4
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:22,234
♪ ♪
5
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:31,740
(car horn)
6
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:35,244
♪ ♪
7
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,038
All right, good job, guys.
8
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:45,416
Make sure those are stacked
in order of continents.
9
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,093
And keep the puppies
away from the kittens,
10
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:48,762
and the kittens away
from the goldfish.
11
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,090
And make sure the reptiles--
Sweet American Jesus!
12
00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:53,717
This lizard is dead!
13
00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:56,563
Come on, guys!
It's Christmas fuckin' Eve!
14
00:00:56,639 --> 00:00:58,849
There's no time
for amateur hour here.
15
00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:03,023
Now, get another one before
Tiffany Chang from Tallahassee
16
00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:05,194
loses her shit.
17
00:01:05,273 --> 00:01:06,863
Halloween? Bullshit.
18
00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:08,991
Easter? Fuck that stupid bunny.
19
00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:12,028
May Day?
What the fuck is May Day?
20
00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:15,663
This is The Big One.
The X-Games, X-Caliber,
21
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,792
it's X-Mas, baby,
and that X
22
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:20,959
is for X-tra
X-traordinary!
23
00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,579
Santa chose me as his successor
24
00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:24,075
because I know how
to run this place,
25
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:25,587
and get the best outta you guys.
26
00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:27,458
And I think
you guys are the best.
27
00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:30,085
You come from a long line
of distinguished reindeer
28
00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:34,553
who have performed
valiantly on Christmas Eve for hundreds of years.
29
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:38,806
Dasher... Comet... Blitzen...
30
00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:42,640
And Junior, the son
of the greatest of them all. Fashionably late.
31
00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:46,397
Let me just get
right up front here in the driver's seat.
32
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:49,111
Who's ready to smell
Junior's ass tonight?
33
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:52,032
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
34
00:01:52,111 --> 00:01:54,161
Now let's get those
fucking kids their presents
35
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:55,819
in record time
this year.
36
00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,027
(cheering)
37
00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:01,286
The Lady Candy,
my second-in-command.
38
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:02,621
I'd be nothing
without you.
39
00:02:02,705 --> 00:02:04,615
You are a fucking
rock star!
40
00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:08,127
After tonight,
I insist that you go to a hotel room and trash it.
41
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:11,341
I will do it!
I will drug groupies!
42
00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:12,972
I will shit on the bed!
43
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:14,339
I will fuck a baby shark,
44
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:15,715
and bite its head off.
45
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,472
Ha, ha! Woo!
46
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:18,764
Okay, take it down a notch.
47
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:19,807
(sirens wailing)
48
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:22,728
(all gasp)
49
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:29,024
May I present
the Sultan of the Sleigh Ride,
50
00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:31,277
The Thunda
from the Tundra,
51
00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:34,529
the hardest-working man
in "snow" biz.
52
00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:37,032
-(chanting "Santa")
-Good golly, he's jolly!
53
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:43,195
Our own
Santa Claus...!
54
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,498
Hey!
Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad.
55
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,252
Hey, good to see you.
How are you?
56
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,093
Whoa, you're on
my naughty list.
57
00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:52,508
Good news, sir,
only 8% of kids under 10 don't believe in you.
58
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,669
That's down
from 12% last year.
59
00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:55,587
Wow!
60
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,005
More American kids
believe in you
61
00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:59,803
than they do in vaccines
or the Holocaust.
62
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:00,888
That's great!
63
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,562
I mean,
disheartening for America,
64
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,890
but great for us.
65
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:07,936
Announcer:
Sleigh launch commencing in T-minus 10...
66
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,521
-Merry Christmas!
-(countdown continues)
67
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:14,987
And to all a kick-ass night!
68
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,909
Peace!
69
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,738
Announcer:
...one, zero.
70
00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:23,704
We are a go.
Repeat, Christmas is a go.
71
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:27,753
Weather's rough all
over tonight, kids.
72
00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,252
Veer left towards Manhattan.
73
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,754
Winds are coming in at
a gentle 15 miles per hour
74
00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:33,756
above the Empire
State Building so--
75
00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:34,838
It's happening!
76
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,513
The anti-Christmas
pigeons are out.
77
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,931
They've already shit
on the Rockefeller Center tree.
78
00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:41,301
Candy:
Those fucking assholes.
79
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,467
It's like they save up
a year's worth of shit
80
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,216
for this one day.
81
00:03:46,225 --> 00:03:48,015
Send in the fighter jets!
82
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,942
Bread drop over
Central Park Sheep's Meadow.
83
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:55,114
Let's make it rain carbs, kids.
84
00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:58,988
(pigeons cooing)
85
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,782
How many sleeping pills
we got in the bread?
86
00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,945
-Upwards of a thousand, ma'am.
-Great.
87
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:06,834
These turtle doves will be down
for all 12 days of Christmas.
88
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,293
(cheers and applause)
89
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,709
-Stop, stop.
It was nothing. -(cheering stops)
90
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:15,464
No, hey, I'm lying.
It was very much my idea.
91
00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:17,086
I killed it. Keep clapping.
92
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:19,223
(cheers and applause)
93
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,215
(joyful music playing)
94
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,977
Good morning,
emotional vampires.
95
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:33,272
My day's
gonna be insane.
96
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,566
(muffled)
Brent and I have to go through all the thank you notes,
97
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,990
-the hate mail--
-My day's gonna be pretty intense, too, actually.
98
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,490
Probably somethin' we
should pay attention to.
99
00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:42,821
Oh, really?
Oh, what's going on with you today, Tony?
100
00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:46,407
You have to cut your toenails?
Is it that time of year again?
101
00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:48,334
(laughing)
102
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,003
I'm laying down tracks
on a new Christmas song.
103
00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:53,292
Did you ever play
my last one for Santa?
104
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:54,996
That crap? No chance.
105
00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,586
Candy, don't be mean
to your brother.
106
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,971
His father died when he
was a very young child.
107
00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:02,258
Yeah, I know.
He was actually my father, too.
108
00:05:02,343 --> 00:05:06,013
Oh, wow.
Someone's dead-dad-greedy.
109
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:09,557
Speakin' of, I dedicate this
sick shit to my dead pops.
110
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:11,982
May the stale gumdrop
that fell on him
111
00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,521
and crushed his head
burn in hell.
112
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:17,645
♪ Santa Claus he likes it raw ♪
113
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,614
♪ But his wife ain't no ho ♪
114
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,824
♪ She don't suck
on dat north pole ♪
115
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:22,664
Hey!
116
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,369
I was catfishin' an eight!
117
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:28,409
I'm gonna finish
that abortion Mom tried to have 35 years ago!
118
00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:31,164
-Ahh!
-(grunting)
119
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:34,247
Help!
My son's being attacked!
120
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,294
Somebody help us!
121
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:36,666
-(punching)
-(grunting)
122
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,843
Candy:
Crash somewhere else, grifters.
123
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,375
Thank you notes
are coming in.
124
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,967
Kids love
their presents.
125
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,552
Another Christmas
gone perfectly.
126
00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:48,426
Woo! Woo!
This is why I brag to everyone
127
00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:50,184
that we're BFFs.
128
00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:52,806
-(dings)
-Back off! No high-fives from anyone but me!
129
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,774
-Grr.
-Candy, I don't know how you deal with
130
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,114
all these clingy,
needy types.
131
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,519
I really don't.
132
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,073
Hey, hey.
What's goin' on?
133
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,241
I'm so frustrated.
134
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,399
None of us
B-Team Women
135
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:03,737
got called up
to the sleigh.
136
00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:04,701
Again.
137
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,491
We train hard
every day of the year
138
00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:09,584
just to sit on
the fucking bench every Christmas Eve.
139
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:11,750
It doesn't mean you're
not as vital to the system
140
00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,749
as any one of those dudes.
141
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:14,921
(sighs)
I guess.
142
00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:16,039
And if you want, honestly,
143
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:17,705
I will slit Junior's
throat next year
144
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:18,804
so you can lead the team.
145
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,838
I swear to God,
just give me the word,
146
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:22,382
-and I will cut him.
-(Goldie laughs)
147
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:23,925
On the positive side,
148
00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:25,638
your body is sick!
149
00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:26,508
You right.
150
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:27,684
All this training
does make me
151
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,222
a monster
in the sack.
152
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:31,805
I had a three-way with Prancer
and his girlfriend last night,
153
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:34,981
(sing-song):
and no one was complaining.
154
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,441
Oh my god.
Your life is amazing.
155
00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:37,811
-Hot deets!
-Well, we did it
156
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,187
reindeer style,
doggy style,
157
00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:41,983
koala style--
the girlfriend is Australian.
158
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,238
And it's a good thing
Prancer's not Santa
159
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,860
because his dick was
as thick as a chimney.
160
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:50,198
Ooh, yeah, gimme
some more of that vicarious shit.
161
00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:51,624
Eh, I'm late
for weight training,
162
00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:54,122
-but thanks
for cheerin' me up, guys. -See ya.
163
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,915
So, I had this
insane dream last night
164
00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:58,288
that I was actually
wearing Santa's suit--
165
00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,956
Oh, a dream?
Must be nice.
166
00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:02,625
I don't have
dreams anymore
167
00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,173
because I don't ever sleep
168
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,417
because for some reason,
169
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,548
I wanted to be
a wife and mother.
170
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:08,715
Oh, I'm sorry, Fun Size.
171
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,973
You know I love you,
baby, right?
172
00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:12,425
Right?
Answer me!
173
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,265
Why isn't he answering?!
Is he dead?!
174
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:18,020
Uh, I don't know.
He's blue and not breathing, so maybe.
175
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,314
Call 911!
Help my baby!
176
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:21,648
I'm just
fucking with you.
177
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,192
He's asleep,
you psycho.
178
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,436
Oh, okay, good.
179
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,647
Being a mom is so hard.
180
00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:29,567
Take my advice, Candy.
Never have kids.
181
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:30,737
Wasn't planning on it.
182
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,405
Oh, really?
That makes me sad.
183
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:34,043
You'd be such
a good mom.
184
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,410
Promise me you'll
think about it.
185
00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:37,786
Okay, gotta drop
this fucker off at daycare.
186
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:39,424
Byeee!
187
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,840
(phone ringing)
188
00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:45,419
♪ ♪
189
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:49,682
-Morning, Jeremy. Brent in yet?
-Shush!
190
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,890
Retweeting a retweet
from an influencer
191
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:55,021
regarding
helping our world.
192
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:56,349
All done. Brent's not in.
193
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:57,854
Grab me a coffee?
Thank you.
194
00:07:57,935 --> 00:08:00,345
Come on, man.
You're the assistant.
195
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,938
Grab me a coffee.
Get me a scone, too.
196
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:05,784
Unless they're all maple
because gross. Fuck maple.
197
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,360
-This is harassment.
-(alarm sounds)
198
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:08,855
Jingle Jim:
All employees, this is your
199
00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:11,066
Chief of Staff,
Jingle Jim.
200
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,327
Gather at the Campus Square
201
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:14,238
for an announcement by Santa.
202
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,867
This is not a drill.
203
00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:17,043
I'm sure it's just a drill.
204
00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:19,501
Shut up and gather
at the Square!
205
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,587
What up? What up?
206
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,549
Love you. Love you.
207
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,010
Mad at you. Love you.
208
00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:29,509
Pumping her boobs
in public? God.
209
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:30,722
It's called a tit!
210
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,051
Your Mom has two of 'em.
211
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:33,426
Deal with it, bro.
212
00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:35,512
Could there be
one nursing room in this place?
213
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:36,718
I have to get
up there.
214
00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:37,557
How do I look?
215
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:38,522
Goldie, come here.
216
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,391
Go 'head, boo.
I'm not gon' blink.
217
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:43,058
God, I look old.
I'm getting elf neck.
218
00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:45,897
No, you're not.
You have perfect skin.
219
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:48,193
My body was wrecked
by childbirth.
220
00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:51,407
A gingerbread episiotomy
is no joke, kids.
221
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,948
Hey, why only two chairs?
What about Brent?
222
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,535
Make sure
you tell Santa
223
00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:00,580
those other morons
barely lifted a hoof this year.
224
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:01,955
I'm the star quarterback
taking a team
225
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:03,421
of knuckleheads
to the Super Bowl.
226
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,381
And you know I'm the one
who's actually drivin'
227
00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:06,551
that sleigh, right?
228
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,549
I just let Santa
think he's steerin'.
229
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:11,836
Don't tell him that part.
230
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:14,598
I know you hate me.
231
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,429
What the fuck?
You hate me.
232
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:19,524
I guess I just don't
understand what purpose you serve at Santa Inc.
233
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,850
Are you a secretary who
sits in on big meetings?
234
00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,436
A waitress who
never has food?
235
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:25,981
Junior, I am the number two
Executive Vice President
236
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:30,145
at Santa Inc. who
only answers to Santa, Brent, and the Board.
237
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,896
I can end that
nose of yours.
238
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,448
I'd like to see
you try.
239
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:35,531
A lotta powerful people
need this nose to glow,
240
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:36,986
so they can pay
their mortgages
241
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,656
and send their kids
to private school.
242
00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:41,214
So, by all means,
go ahead and try
243
00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:43,039
to stop this nose
from glowin'.
244
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,424
Goddammit,
you're right.
245
00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:47,211
Beings of Santa Inc.,
246
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:50,335
It is I,
your Chief of Staff, Jingle Jim.
247
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:51,513
(chattering)
248
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,591
Shut up,
you worthless assholes!
249
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:56,136
-(all gasping)
-(coughs)
250
00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:59,350
I present Saint Nicholas XIX!
251
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,732
(cheering)
252
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,266
Thank you all
for the very warm welcome.
253
00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:06,483
I just wanna tell you all
that this year, we reached
254
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:09,154
more kids than ever before.
255
00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:14,703
One billion six thousand--
No, wait, six, four, 16 billion?
256
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:15,990
Holy-- That-- You know what?
257
00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:17,873
I'm not good
with these big numbers.
258
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,540
We got a lot of these
little motherfuckers.
259
00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:23,248
(chanting "Santa")
260
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:28,171
But, this Christmas Eve,
something happened in Seattle, Washington,
261
00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:31,762
that left a lump
of coal in my heart.
262
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:33,719
(rock music plays)
263
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:37,466
Brent? I'm Jeff Bezos.
264
00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:40,143
Oh my god, Jeff Bezos.
I can't believe it's you.
265
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:42,852
I would like for you
to come work for me at Amazon.
266
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,853
Do I have to use
an Amazon Fire Phone?
267
00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:45,975
-No.
-I'm in.
268
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,862
What?!
This is insane!
269
00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:49,018
Brent's a traitor!
270
00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:50,936
Amazon Prime is
slow and useless!
271
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:52,525
Crowd Member:
Suck a bag of dicks!
272
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:54,570
(Board members muttering)
273
00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:58,453
I know this is shocking news,
but please, please,
274
00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:00,202
let's just be happy for Brent.
275
00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:03,254
Let's wish him luck,
even though he screwed us.
276
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:06,249
Without so much as a warning.
277
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,542
He fucked us dry, folks.
I'm just gonna say it.
278
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:11,746
The warning would've been lube,
but he withheld that.
279
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:15,087
So, we are all
chafed this morning.
280
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:17,224
Super chafed, but...
281
00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:20,551
this rash will go away,
just like Brent did.
282
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:24,228
It won't spread from our nethers
to cover our entire body.
283
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:26,558
We will recover
284
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:30,774
from this un-lub-ri-cated
285
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,976
fucking Brent gave us.
286
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,237
Santa, I'm here
from The North Pole Times.
287
00:11:35,319 --> 00:11:37,489
Since Brent was supposed
to succeed you as Santa Claus,
288
00:11:37,571 --> 00:11:40,411
have you decided
who will replace him and become your Successor?
289
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,741
Subtext, Santa's old
and knocking on death's door.
290
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:45,197
Fuck you, Harold.
Uh, I mean, uh, that--
291
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:47,247
Good, good question.
I'll give it some serious thought.
292
00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:49,501
Ha ha. Ho ho ho. Bye.
293
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,963
(cheering)
294
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,589
Big Candy:
I know who the next Santa is!
295
00:11:55,673 --> 00:12:00,303
Candy, tell him!
It's my son, your brother!
296
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:03,466
♪ Santa Claus he likes it raw ♪
297
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,136
-(taser shoots)
-(grunts in pain)
298
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:08,095
♪ Snowflake, snowflake ♪
299
00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:10,395
♪ No two are alike ♪
300
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:16,441
How could Brent
just leave?
301
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:17,857
He was my mentor.
302
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:20,775
He taught me everything,
everything I know.
303
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:22,945
He made me love my job.
304
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,793
He made me love him.
305
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,909
And then he didn't
even say goodbye.
306
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,576
Aw, poor Candy.
307
00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:30,214
Poor sweet Candy.
308
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:33,001
I'm here for you
if you need a shoulder to cry on.
309
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,745
Or a dick to cry on.
310
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,877
Obviously,
that's offensive and you suck,
311
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:40,014
but I'm just curious
how you envision that working.
312
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:42,852
Is it like, I cry
and you use my tears
313
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:45,678
as lubricant
to masturbate to my sadness?
314
00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:47,684
Or is it like,
I cry and my tears
315
00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:51,146
fall off my face
onto your penis with a kind of like,
316
00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:53,308
"thwap" sound that
gives you a boner?
317
00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:54,357
Ehhh.
318
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,690
Candy Smalls.
Down, but not out.
319
00:12:57,776 --> 00:12:59,986
So, who do you
think is gonna be the new Santa?
320
00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:01,990
50 bucks it's someone
in the toy factory.
321
00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:04,992
Or one of those fuckin'
jacked reindeers, am I right?
322
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:07,285
Like Junior.
He's so fuckin' hot.
323
00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:08,619
I mean, he's so jacked.
324
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:10,544
You fellas know
I meant jacked, right?
325
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,833
Yeah, ha, ha,
like what if the next Santa is a woman.
326
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:16,168
That would be so weird,
but like super cool!
327
00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:19,173
-(both laughing)
-A woman Santa?
328
00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:21,336
What if she thinks she's
handin' out candy canes,
329
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:23,675
and they turn out to be
some fuckin' tampons?
330
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,721
What if her boobies
get caught in the chimney?
331
00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:29,354
Or even worse:
What if she falls in love with the sleigh?
332
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:32,233
(all laughing)
333
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:39,239
(rustling)
334
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:49,117
(ominous music plays)
335
00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:52,503
Oh, Grandpa.
What're you doing out so late?
336
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:55,081
Candy Cane Lane
is the best place for anonymous
337
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,127
sexual encounters.
338
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,631
Can your heart even handle
a gang bang at your age?
339
00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:01,383
You know what?
Don't answer that. I don't wanna know.
340
00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:05,335
I won't apologize
for being a vibrant sexual being.
341
00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:08,557
Nobody should ever
have to apologize for their secret desires.
342
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:11,889
It's funny you should
say that because...
343
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:15,806
well, well because
I wanna be the next Santa.
344
00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:19,686
-Really?
-Yeah, I've been dreaming about it my whole life,
345
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:21,935
but, you know, Brent's
always been Successor,
346
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:25,567
so I never
thought about it seriously until now.
347
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:26,736
Is that nuts?
348
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:29,084
There have been
many Santa Clauses
349
00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:30,579
throughout history.
350
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,291
Some were loved.
351
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,121
Others loathed.
352
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,206
Great and mediocre.
353
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:40,882
Attractive and gross.
10's and 2's.
354
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,883
Santa Claus XVII
gave lavish presents
355
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,506
to children in
the Third Reich
356
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:48,353
and escaped
the North Pole for Argentina.
357
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:52,559
The point is, Candy,
Santa Inc. is a diverse place.
358
00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:55,191
Humans and magical
creatures of all
359
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:57,439
races and religions
living together.
360
00:14:57,521 --> 00:15:01,281
But the position
of Santa has mostly been a white man's game.
361
00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:03,278
There have been
women prime ministers,
362
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,360
women presidents,
even a woman mechanic,
363
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:10,777
but there has never, ever
been a woman Santa Claus,
364
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,238
or a Jewish Santa Claus.
365
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,408
Exactly! It's fucking crazy!
366
00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:15,956
Things have gotta change!
367
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,330
Grandpa Smalls:
My advice to you is,
368
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:20,786
and this is important,
so listen carefully--
369
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,708
-(gust of wind)
-Whoa!
370
00:15:22,796 --> 00:15:26,086
(shouts):
If I die, get rid of my porn!
371
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:31,675
It's on a computer icon
called, "Tax Stuff"!
372
00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:35,975
(TV playing)
373
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:39,230
If you become Santa,
would you put me on the Reindeer A-team?
374
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,983
Hell yeah, I'd bump
you straight up to varsity.
375
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,686
Junior can take a year off.
376
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,736
You could lead the sleigh,
and let the other jerks
377
00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:48,279
get stuck smelling
your asshole for once.
378
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,574
-(baby cries)
-Get the fucking baby, Craig!
379
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,788
Don't yell at me
in front of your friends.
380
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:53,948
Then don't be a dumbass
381
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:56,206
in front
of my friends, dumbass.
382
00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:59,325
I thought
things were better between you guys
383
00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:00,376
since the baby.
384
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:01,749
What do you mean?
They are.
385
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:02,955
Now listen to me, bitch.
386
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:04,875
If this is your dream,
you have to at least try
387
00:16:04,963 --> 00:16:07,423
and talk to Santa,
and make your case, bitch.
388
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:10,638
Someone like me
doesn't just walk up to Santa's house and be all,
389
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,179
"Dude, we need to talk."
390
00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:14,182
Well, go there, bitch.
Right now.
391
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:17,024
You gotta get intimate
with that jolly bitch, bitch.
392
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,231
Okay, I know you're right,
393
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:19,850
but do you really
have to call me "bitch"
394
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,477
every time you say something?
395
00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:25,073
Yes, bitch.
Because it's empowering to call you bitch, bitch.
396
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,900
A man wouldn't mind
being called a bitch.
397
00:16:26,985 --> 00:16:29,355
-Craig: She's right.
-Who asked you, bitch?
398
00:16:29,446 --> 00:16:31,526
Craig: She's wrong.
That-- That does sting a bit.
399
00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:32,905
Look, you need to let Santa know
400
00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:35,371
you're not on his "Nice" list
or his "Naughty" list.
401
00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:37,832
You're on his
"Bitch" list, bitch.
402
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:39,623
Okay, fuck it.
I'm doing this.
403
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:42,247
I'm doing this.
I'm going over there right now.
404
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:43,384
This is so exciting!
405
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:45,840
It's stressing me out
how exciting this is.
406
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,631
-(crunches)
-Dammit, I ate my arm.
407
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:48,875
Wish me luck, bitches.
408
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:50,926
-Woo! You go, Candy!
-Yes, you got this, bitch!
409
00:16:51,009 --> 00:16:52,299
You're gonna do it!
410
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,466
-(door opens, closes)
-What if Candy gets to be Santa,
411
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:55,595
then falls in love
with the sleigh?
412
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:58,061
Bitch, I was thinkin'
the same thing.
413
00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:03,902
-(magical music playing)
-(gates creaking open)
414
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,454
-Ahh!
-Oh god! I'm so sorry.
415
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,044
Clumsy, stupid asshole!
416
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:21,870
Okay, Jesus, I cannot take
on this energy right now.
417
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:26,304
♪ Someone is at the door
Someone is at the door ♪
418
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:29,548
♪ Someone is at the door
Someone is at the door ♪
419
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:34,428
♪ Someone is at the door
The door is ringing ♪
420
00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:37,641
♪ Answer the fucking door ♪
421
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,773
Candy! How nice to see you!
422
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:43,191
Hi, Mrs. Claus, uh,
I, I know it's late.
423
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:44,770
Oh, I'm always up.
424
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,395
(laughs)
I have insomnia.
425
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:50,192
I stay up all night making
lists of what I need to do.
426
00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:52,647
It rules my life,
but who cares?
427
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:55,158
You don't care!
I barely care!
428
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,620
Come on in.
429
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:59,290
-(gobbling)
-(Mrs. Claus gasps)
430
00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:00,789
Nick, stop it!
431
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:04,001
The doctor says
you're one cupcake away from diabetes.
432
00:18:04,082 --> 00:18:05,462
Fine!
Then get me some donuts!
433
00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:07,462
We're all out.
I don't care, I'm not picky.
434
00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:09,964
And can we not fight
in front of my colleague?
435
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:12,127
Candy, come in. Sit down.
436
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,756
Invitation accepted... sir.
437
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:24,353
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'll leave you two to talk business.
438
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:28,686
I have emails to read,
and packages to wrap, and so on and so forth,
439
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,984
and, and goodbye.
440
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:32,318
What brings
you here, Candy?
441
00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:34,112
First, may I say,
your home is lovely.
442
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,526
It's, it's majestic,
yet it's not ostentatious,
443
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,825
which, I think, is a subtle
balance to achieve, sir, and I--
444
00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:42,039
Jesus fuckin' Christ, Candy,
enough with the "sir."
445
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,080
Loosen up. This isn't
the principal's office.
446
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:45,424
I've known you
since you were a kid.
447
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:47,499
Yeah, but it's not like
we ever really talked.
448
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:49,884
What're you talkin' about?
We shoot the shit all the time.
449
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:53,342
No. No, we've never shot
even one tiny shit, sir.
450
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:56,133
I mean-- I met your husband.
He's a huge sports nut, right?
451
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,758
Why am I even askin'?
I remember the guy.
452
00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:01,215
Blue skin, horse body,
pink wings. He was hilarious.
453
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:02,516
Not married, actually.
454
00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:03,929
Don't even have
a crush on anyone,
455
00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:06,017
but, uh, don't be embarrassed.
It's fine. I--
456
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,903
You're a very busy man.
You probably don't even know my last name.
457
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,771
Ah, come on.
Who gives a fuck?
458
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:12,398
It's not like you
know my real name.
459
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:13,824
It's Llewelyn Fartini.
460
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:16,072
Dammit, you do!
Now that you mention it,
461
00:19:16,154 --> 00:19:19,204
Brent kinda was like
the buffer between us.
462
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:20,993
But, you know,
now that I look back,
463
00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:24,536
Brent always acted like
he was meant for bigger things than Santa Inc.
464
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:26,541
One Halloween
he came as Super Jesus.
465
00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:28,133
Like regular Jesus
wasn't enough.
466
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:30,538
No, Brent needed
a cape and a pair of tights
467
00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:33,297
to show off his biceps
and his huge fuckin' dick.
468
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,880
No one with a dick
that big is happy in middle management.
469
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:39,296
-That segues into what
I'm here for, actually. -It does?
470
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:41,636
Do you mind if I,
uh, kinda give you the big picture?
471
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:42,722
Please, tell me.
472
00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:45,306
When I was a kid,
I had big dreams.
473
00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:47,642
You know, I, I didn't
know that, as a girl,
474
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:49,688
they didn't always come true.
475
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:51,441
I figured if
I worked hard enough,
476
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:53,573
no one could deny
me anything, so I did.
477
00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:56,780
I, I worked my ass off,
and I proved myself.
478
00:19:56,862 --> 00:20:00,322
All right, not really a segue,
more of a pivot, but I hear ya.
479
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:03,077
I want my dreams to come true.
480
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,580
I wanna be the next Successor,
481
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:10,292
and the first female
Santa Claus in history!
482
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:14,955
♪ The first elf bitch Santa ♪
483
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,337
-Me! Candy--
-Smalls!
484
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:18,634
Yes! Progress!
485
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:25,967
♪ Candy wants it
real, real baaaaad ♪
486
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,773
I'm the most progressive
Santa in history.
487
00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:31,103
I'm a real change agent.
488
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,608
I'm an ally,
which I can't label myself as,
489
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:35,400
but I've been labeled
that by others.
490
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,284
And Brent,
the first Black Successor,
491
00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:39,151
was a huge part of my legacy.
492
00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:42,407
But maybe...
it's time to make history
493
00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:43,991
...again.
494
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,906
I need to think about it,
but,
495
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:47,374
this could be really
fucking awesome.
496
00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:49,044
Okay, very cool.
497
00:20:49,122 --> 00:20:50,832
(cheers and laughter)
498
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:54,536
Oh, man.
Let's see what those bozos are up to now. Ha!
499
00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:59,471
(indistinct chatter)
500
00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:00,509
What is this?
501
00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:02,142
It's my annual
Boxing Day party.
502
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,929
Oh, I, I never
knew about it.
503
00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:06,222
We bros shave
our beards every year.
504
00:21:06,306 --> 00:21:07,926
It's a major tradition.
505
00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:09,846
I'm gonna win
again this year.
506
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:12,145
The hair that weighs
the most gets a prize.
507
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:14,059
Let's get shaving! Yeaaah!
508
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:16,228
(buzzing)
509
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,573
Jingle Jim,
why are you here?
510
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,153
You don't even
have facial hair.
511
00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:22,568
I have to shave
every week.
512
00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:25,236
I'm talking about
my genitals, dumb-dumb.
513
00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:28,285
It's a gay thing.
Yes, I am gay.
514
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,370
And it's a valid
and wonderful lifestyle.
515
00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:32,325
If I wasn't straight,
I'd be gay.
516
00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:33,626
It's number two
on my list.
517
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:35,789
I shave, too.
I shave my legs.
518
00:21:35,877 --> 00:21:38,257
And under my arms,
and, uh, you know,
519
00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:40,668
all the parts of my vulva
that face the floor.
520
00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:44,587
Why have I never
been invited to this, and Jingle Jim has?
521
00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:46,718
And Jeremy?
Jeremy's all ice!
522
00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:48,425
They make mine
into a snowcone.
523
00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:50,845
Candy, you're more
than welcome to stay,
524
00:21:50,934 --> 00:21:52,194
and, and join in.
525
00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:53,439
But, sir,
when you hired me,
526
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:55,310
you knew I wasn't
trained for vaginas.
527
00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:58,357
I don't wanna be
sued if I slip up and make her infertile.
528
00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:00,692
(softly):
The baby needs the hair to stay warm.
529
00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:04,067
Ugh! Thanks for the info
on how my body works.
530
00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:06,158
I can't stay anyway.
531
00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:09,161
I've got a ton of parties
and raves and shit to go to.
532
00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:11,964
I mean, if I knew earlier
I could've switched stuff around but--
533
00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:14,079
Oh, thank god. I mean,
I'll, I'll walk you out.
534
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:16,876
And I'm gonna think hard
about what we spoke about.
535
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:18,000
(chuckles)
536
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,375
Fuck those douches.
537
00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:27,718
Someday, I will be
the first woman Santa.
538
00:22:27,804 --> 00:22:29,014
Period!
539
00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:30,557
♪ ♪
540
00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:35,516
♪ No two are alike ♪
541
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:43,531
♪ They are their own
special beings ♪
542
00:22:46,782 --> 00:22:50,242
♪ The one thing that
they have in common ♪
543
00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:54,867
♪ Is I love them all the same ♪
544
00:22:54,956 --> 00:22:58,836
♪ Snowflake, snowflake ♪
545
00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:02,589
♪ Snowflake, snowflake ♪
546
00:23:02,672 --> 00:23:06,762
♪ If you commit a crime
I'll give you a dime ♪
547
00:23:06,843 --> 00:23:09,513
♪ To call me anytime ♪
548
00:23:09,596 --> 00:23:10,926
♪ Night or day ♪
549
00:23:11,014 --> 00:23:12,224
♪ Snowflake ♪
550
00:23:12,307 --> 00:23:14,807
♪ I love you all the same ♪
551
00:23:14,893 --> 00:23:16,353
♪ Snowflake ♪
552
00:23:16,436 --> 00:23:18,896
And you, and you...
553
00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:20,360
♪ Snowflake ♪
554
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,650
Just kidding, I love
all of you the same.
555
00:23:23,700 --> 00:23:28,250
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
41601
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof