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1
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,245
- * ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR
2
00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:13,214
* ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX *
3
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,448
* SHAKE IT, DUDE
4
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:22,423
*
5
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:29,763
* ONE, TWO, DO IT
6
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:32,133
*
7
00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,567
* ONE, TWO, THREE
8
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,369
- * FOUR, FOUR
9
00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:38,439
*
10
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,142
- HERE'S WHERE RAGE
AND ZEPHYR
11
00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:42,676
DISCOVER J.T. BEATEN
AND LEFT FOR DEAD
12
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,678
BY A GANG
OF GAY BASHERS.
13
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,114
- IT'S KIND OF GORY.
14
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:47,215
- IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE.
15
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:48,582
- I'M SURE
THAT I LEFT IT HERE.
16
00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:49,550
- HERE'S RAGE
17
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,320
ZAPPING THE BASHERS
WITH HIS MIND DISTORTER.
18
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:53,621
- WITH HIS WHAT?
19
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:55,689
- HE SURROUNDS THEM
WITH A MIND DISTORTION FIELD
20
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,325
SO THEY THINK
THEY'RE ALL FAGS.
21
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:59,193
- THEN THEY
BEAT EACH OTHER TO DEATH.
22
00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:01,562
- WOW.
THEN WHAT HAPPENS?
23
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:04,098
- THEN HE SWOOPS J.T.
INTO HIS ARMS
24
00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:05,799
AND TAKES HIM
UP TO HIS LAIR
25
00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,568
PERCHED HIGH ABOVE
GAYOPOLIS...
26
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:09,403
- AND HE BRINGS J.T.
BACK TO LIFE
27
00:01:09,437 --> 00:01:11,639
WITH LOTS OF HEAVY KISSING
AND DEEP ANAL PENETRATION.
28
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,141
- WHICH, IF YOU'LL NOTICE
29
00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:15,409
FROM THE GENEROUS AMOUNTS
OF ILLUSTRATIONS,
30
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:16,844
IS JUSTIN'S
FAVORITE PART.
31
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,212
- YES, I SEE.
32
00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:20,514
OKAY, WHERE THE HELL
IS MY PALM?
33
00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,250
- MM, WELL, TRY MY BEDROOM.
34
00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:23,851
YOU KNOW, IT MAY HAVE
DROPPED OUT OF YOUR POCKET
35
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:25,319
WHILE YOU WERE DROPPING OUT
OF YOUR PANTS.
36
00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:28,489
- MM, GOOD THINKING,
BOY-TOY WONDER.
37
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:36,464
- YOU STOLE IT?
38
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:37,631
- [whispering]
BORROWED IT.
39
00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:38,899
BEN'S GOT A BUDDY LIST
IN HERE.
40
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,334
SO I'M GONNA
CALL EVERYBODY ON IT
41
00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:41,869
AND INVITE THEM
TO A SURPRISE PARTY.
42
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:43,671
- WHEN'S HIS BIRTHDAY?
- SATURDAY.
43
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:44,805
- NO SHIT, THAT'S MINE.
44
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:47,741
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
45
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:50,211
ISN'T THAT THE MOST AMAZING
COINCIDENCE?
46
00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:51,912
- WHAT, THAT YOU TWO
HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY?
47
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,647
- OR THAT YOU AND BRIAN
ARE BOTH IN LOVE
48
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:56,150
WITH GUYS
WHO HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY.
49
00:01:56,184 --> 00:01:58,452
- AHH, NO LUCK
IN THE BEDROOM.
50
00:01:58,486 --> 00:02:00,454
- THAT'S A FIRST.
51
00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:01,889
[buzzer]
52
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:04,325
- YOU KNOW, I KNOW THAT MY
PALM'S STATE-OF-THE-ART, BUT...
53
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:06,227
COULDN'T HAVE JUST WALKED AWAY
ON ITS OWN.
54
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:07,228
- YOU WANT TO STAY FOR
DINNER?
55
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:08,629
BEN'S MAKING PAD THAI.
56
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:09,863
- THEN...
57
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,865
WE ARE GOING TO WATCH...
58
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:13,501
SUNSET BOULEVARD.
59
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:15,369
- I CAN'T.
60
00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:16,770
BRIAN AND I ARE GOING TO...
61
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:17,771
BABYLON.
- BABYLON.
62
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,740
- BABYLON, YEAH.
63
00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:22,743
[upbeat music]
64
00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:24,512
*
65
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:27,515
- WHOO! YEAH!
66
00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:33,221
*
67
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:36,490
- ISN'T THAT, LIKE,
THE MOST AMAZING COINCIDENCE?
68
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,659
- THAT YOU BEN AND, LIKE,
17 MILLION OTHER PEOPLE
69
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:41,262
HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY?
70
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:42,930
- SO HOW DO YOU PLAN ON
COMMEMORATING THE BIG EVENT?
71
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:45,266
A TRIP TO KEY WEST?
72
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:47,601
SOMETHING WITH FOUR WHEELS
AND A RETRACTABLE HARD-TOP?
73
00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:48,702
- THAT SOUNDS GOOD.
74
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:49,870
- I'M NOT.
75
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,672
- YOU'RE NOT?
76
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,541
- WHAT'S A FUCKING BIRTHDAY?
77
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,976
ANYBODY CAN GET BORN,
EVEN YOU.
78
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:59,547
THE ONLY THING WORTH
CELEBRATING IS ACHIEVEMENT.
79
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:00,914
- I SEEM TO REMEMBER YOU
80
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:03,851
THROWING MICHAEL A LITTLE
SURPRISE PARTY LAST YEAR.
81
00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:05,353
- I AGREE WITH BRIAN.
82
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,321
I THINK BIRTHDAYS
ARE SILLY,
83
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:09,890
SENTIMENTAL,
AND UNNECESSARY.
84
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:10,991
- OKAY, SWEETHEART,
85
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,626
THANKS FOR THE RIDE,
BUT, UH,
86
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:15,429
HERE'S WHERE I GET OFF.
87
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:19,400
- SOME CATCH. HOW COME
YOU'RE THROWING HIM BACK?
88
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:20,668
- NOT BIG ENOUGH?
89
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,903
- OH, I'M SURE
HE'S BIG ENOUGH.
90
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,372
- YOU STILL IN MOURNING?
91
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:26,006
- I'VE TRIED BOYS,
I'VE TRIED BOOZE,
92
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,641
I'VE TRIED PILLS...
93
00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:31,879
BUT I AM STILL IN THE VALLEY
OF THE DULLS.
94
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:35,849
- WELL, NEELY, MAYBE YOU NEED
SOME SPIRITUAL SUCCOR.
95
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,551
- YEAH, YOU SHOULD CALL
MY MOTHER'S MINISTER.
96
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,487
HE GIVES GREAT HEAD.
97
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,689
- THAT'S NOT THE KIND OF
HEALING I HAD IN MIND.
98
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:45,459
YOU'RE COMING WITH ME
TOMORROW...
99
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:47,495
TO CHURCH.
100
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:48,962
- CHURCH?
101
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:50,464
- THE CURTAIN
HAS ALREADY GONE UP
102
00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:52,466
ON THE BIGGEST SHOW
IN TOWN,
103
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,968
IN THE UNIVERSE,
IN CREATION.
104
00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:57,871
IT'S CALLED "YOUR LIFE"!
105
00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,340
AND IT STARS YOU.
106
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:01,375
THE ORIGINAL CAST,
WITH LYRICS AND MUSIC,
107
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:03,877
AND A BOOK THAT COULD ONLY
HAVE BEEN WRITTEN,
108
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:08,316
DIRECTED,
AND CONCEIVED BY...
109
00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:09,350
GOD!
110
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:10,618
all: AMEN.
111
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:13,321
- ISN'T REVEREND BRAD
INCREDIBLE?
112
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:16,457
- YEAH, YEAH, HE SHOULD...
WIN A TONY.
113
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,626
- THIS IS NOT
A DRESS REHEARSAL, KIDS.
114
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,961
LET US SELL IT
TO THE BALCONY AND BEYOND.
115
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,830
RISE, RISE,
116
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:24,064
AND FOLLOW IN YOUR HYMNALS.
117
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:27,601
[organ playing]
118
00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:28,869
HIT IT.
119
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,338
* PUT ON
YOUR SUNDAY CLOTHES *
120
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:33,874
* WHEN YOU FEEL
DOWN AND OUT *
121
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:36,344
* STRUT DOWN THE STREET
AND HAVE YOUR PICTURE TOOK *
122
00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:38,078
- IMAGINE
HOW GOOD YOU'LL FEEL.
123
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,747
- I THINK IT'S GOING TO TAKE
A LITTLE MORE THAN A SHOW TUNE.
124
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:43,617
- * LIKE A DREAM, YOUR SPIRIT
SEEMS TO TURN ABOUT *
125
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:46,420
- HERE, SHARE MINE.
- THANKS.
126
00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:49,590
- * A CERTAIN SIGN THAT
YOU FEEL AS FINE AS YOU LOOK *
127
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:54,662
* WHEN YOU WEAR A SONG
THE WORLD IS ALL A SMILE *
128
00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:57,398
* THAT MAKES YOU FEEL BRAND-NEW
DOWN TO YOUR TOES *
129
00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:58,999
OH!
130
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,034
* GET OUT YOUR FEATHERS,
YOUR... *
131
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,670
- YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY
DO FEEL BETTER.
132
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,071
- * YOUR BUTTONS AND BOWS
133
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:05,673
* FOR THERE'S
NO BLUE MONDAY *
134
00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:09,009
* IN YOUR SUNDAY CLOTHES
135
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,812
- COME ON, BARNABY,
LET'S GO TO PITTSBURGH.
136
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:14,415
- I WAS WITH THE PEACE CORPS
FOR A FEW YEARS,
137
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:16,049
BUT THEN, I DECIDED
WHAT I REALLY WANTED
138
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,952
WAS TO WORK WITH KIDS.
- THAT'S SWEET.
139
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,054
- HUH.
EVER TEACH SECOND-GRADERS?
140
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:23,691
SWEET'S NOT EXACTLY THE WORD.
- [chuckling]
141
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,859
I'M SURE THEY ADORE YOU.
142
00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:27,127
- I LOVE IT.
143
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,796
AND IT ALLOWS ME TIME
IN THE EVENINGS
144
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,698
TO VOLUNTEER AT THE GAY YOUTH
SUPPORT LINE
145
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:33,100
AND TO TRAIN FOR THE AIDS RIDE
ON THE WEEKEND.
146
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:36,470
AND THEN, OF COURSE, I, UH...
HELP OUT AT THE CHURCH.
147
00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:38,672
- OF COURSE. HEH.
148
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:39,907
I'M IMPRESSED.
149
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:42,943
- LISTEN TO ME GOING ON
ABOUT MYSELF.
150
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:45,679
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
151
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:47,415
TELL ME WHAT YOU DO.
152
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:49,116
- ME?
- MM-HMM.
153
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:52,119
[techno music]
154
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:55,022
*
155
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:57,090
TED?
156
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,626
- HMM?
157
00:05:58,659 --> 00:05:59,960
WHERE'D YOU JUST GO?
158
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:02,095
- OH, UH...
159
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:03,764
NOWHERE.
I WAS, UH...
160
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:06,567
JUST THINKING
ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID.
161
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,503
- SO, UH, WHAT DO YOU DO?
162
00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:12,506
- I, UH...
WORK IN COMPUTERS.
163
00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:14,875
- UM, SALES?
PROGRAMMING?
164
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:18,479
- I RUN MY OWN DOT-COM
COMPANY.
165
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,113
- REALLY?
166
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:21,849
AN ENTREPRENEUR.
167
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,585
SO, UH, WHAT KIND OF
COMPANY IS IT?
168
00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:26,787
- YOU KNOW...
169
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,889
DEALING WITH PEOPLE'S NEEDS.
170
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,427
YOU MIGHT CALL IT...
171
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:35,028
RELIEF WORK.
172
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,530
- SOMEHOW I...
173
00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:37,665
I KNEW YOU'D DO SOMETHING
174
00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:41,502
THAT INVOLVED
HELPING OTHERS.
175
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:44,037
- A SURPRISE PARTY?
176
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,172
SO WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO?
177
00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:47,040
- DO?
- YEAH, YOU KNOW,
178
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,108
AFTER EVERYONE
JUMPS OUT OF THE WOODWORK
179
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,309
AND SCREAMS "SURPRISE"?
180
00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:51,779
- I DON'T KNOW. I-I THOUGHT
WE'D SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY
181
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,881
AND CUT THE CAKE,
OPEN PRESENTS.
182
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,583
- ANY THOUGHT OF NUDITY
AND DRUGS?
183
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,785
- THIS ISN'T
ONE OF YOUR AFFAIRS.
184
00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:59,653
BESIDES,
I'M NOT ROLLING IN DOUGH.
185
00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:01,522
I CAN'T AFFORD
SOME ELABORATE PARTY.
186
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:03,023
- SWEETHEART, YOU DON'T NEED
A LOT OF MONEY,
187
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,925
YOU JUST NEED A THEME.
188
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,059
WHAT'S, UH,
WHAT'S BEN INTO?
189
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,995
- YOGA, BUDDHISM.
190
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:10,163
- OH, WE CAN MEDITATE!
191
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:11,632
THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
192
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:12,766
- OKAY, GIVE ME A MINUTE HERE.
193
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,002
LET ME THINK,
LET ME THINK.
194
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:18,672
OKAY, OKAY, IT'S COMING TO ME.
I'M GETTING AN IDEA.
195
00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:19,940
WHY DON'T WE DO
196
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:22,676
A GEISHA-SUSHI-"MISS-SAIGONY"
KIND OF THING?
197
00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:24,111
WE CAN TRANSFORM
BEN'S APARTMENT
198
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:26,980
INTO A FAR EASTERN
PHANTASMAGORIA
199
00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:28,215
WITH COLORED LANTERNS
200
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:31,218
AND, UM, LITTLE...
PAGODAS.
201
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:33,120
- YEAH.
BETTER YET,
202
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,688
WHY DON'T YOU BUY
A BOTTLE OF SAKE
203
00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:36,256
AND A COPY OF THE KAMA SUTRA
204
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,826
AND FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT?
205
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,027
IT'LL BE CHEAPER.
206
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:41,729
- HONEY, YOU JUST
LEAVE IT TO ME.
207
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:44,565
I WILL MAKE SURE IT IS A PARTY
THAT'S UNFORGETTABLE.
208
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:46,199
- WHO'S HAVING A PARTY?
209
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,235
- NOBODY.
210
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:51,505
- MUSTN'T BE MUCH
OF A GUEST LIST.
211
00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:53,106
- BEN'S BIRTHDAY.
212
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,142
AND MICHAEL'S GOING TO
THROW HIM A FAR EASTERN...
213
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:59,580
PHANTASMAGORIA .
214
00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:01,048
- THAT'S NICE.
215
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,151
[bell dings]
216
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,153
- HEY, DEB,
YOUR ORDER'S UP.
217
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:07,955
- ORDER'S UP.
218
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,056
GOTTA GET BACK TO WORK.
219
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:12,860
- WHAT THE FUCK
YOU TELL HER FOR?
220
00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:14,895
- WHY THE FUCK DO YOU WANT
TO KEEP IT A SECRET?
221
00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:17,097
- BECAUSE I DON'T WANT HER TO
GIVE ME ANY MORE SHIT ABOUT BEN.
222
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:19,700
- MAYBE IF YOU INVITED HER...
223
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:22,770
- WHAT FOR?
SHE WOULDN'T COME ANYWAY.
224
00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:24,805
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
HE'S NOT DOING ANYTHING?
225
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,907
- BRIAN DOESN'T BELIEVE IN
BIRTHDAYS, NOT EVEN HIS OWN.
226
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,776
- WHAT KIND OF
BULLSHIT IS THAT?
227
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,644
- HE ALMOST KILLED HIMSELF
WHEN HE TURNED 30.
228
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:31,979
- YEAH, WHO'S TALKING
ABOUT HIS BIRTHDAY?
229
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,146
WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT JUSTIN'S.
230
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,915
WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM
WITH TURNING 19?
231
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,850
- HE BELIEVES IN CELEBRATING
ACCOMPLISHMENT,
232
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:37,885
NOT SENTIMENTAL RITUALS.
233
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,019
- OH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
234
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,988
WHAT THE HELL DID HE DO,
BRAINWASH YOU?
235
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:44,024
EVERYBODY DESERVES A LITTLE
ATTENTION ON THEIR BIRTHDAY.
236
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:46,193
- ESPECIALLY FROM THE PERSON
THEY LOVE.
237
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,695
[giggling]
238
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:50,030
WELL, IF BRIAN'S NOT GOING
TO DO ANYTHING, WE WILL.
239
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,966
- YEAH. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE, UH,
GO TO DINNER AND A MOVIE?
240
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,202
- OH, THAT'S NOT VERY SPECIAL.
WE CAN DO THAT ANYTIME.
241
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,137
- OKAY,
LET'S THROW A PARTY.
242
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:59,840
- I HATE PARTIES.
- HE HATES PARTIES.
243
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,709
- BESIDES, MICHAEL'S
ALREADY GIVING BEN ONE.
244
00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:04,645
- I KNOW. YOU'RE COMING WITH US,
SATURDAY AFTERNOON.
245
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,046
- WHERE?
246
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:07,615
- A FRIEND OF MINE WHO TEACHES
IN THE MUSIC DEPARTMENT
247
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:11,084
AT YOUR SCHOOL INVITED US
TO A VIOLIN RECITAL.
248
00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,686
- A VIOLIN RECITAL?
249
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,955
- SHE SAID THE STUDENT
WHO'S PLAYING IS A GENIUS.
250
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,790
- I'M NOT REALLY
INTO CLASSICAL MUSIC.
251
00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:18,291
- WELL, MAYBE IT'S TIME
YOU EXPOSED YOURSELF
252
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:20,227
TO A HIGHER FORM
OF CULTURAL EXPRESSION
253
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,663
THAN THE THUMPA-THUMPA
AT BABYLON.
254
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,698
- WELL, IF HE DOESN'T WANT
TO GO, DON'T FORCE HIM.
255
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:27,334
ALTHOUGH SHE ALSO SAID
HE'S REALLY CUTE.
256
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:31,271
[giggling]
257
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:32,873
- [mouth full]
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?
258
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:36,243
[indistinct chatter]
259
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:39,079
- AHH.
THESE ARE FOR YOU.
260
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:40,714
- BUT IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY.
261
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:43,316
- WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY,
IT'S BETTER TO GIVE.
262
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,619
- WELL, RECEIVING'S
NOT TOO BAD EITHER.
263
00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:46,787
- MMM.
- YOU KNOW, WHILE WE'RE
264
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,155
ON THE SUBJECT
OF YOUR BIRTHDAY...
265
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,957
- YES, WHILE WE'RE ON IT,
PLEASE, NOTHING SPECIAL.
266
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:53,293
LET'S JUST KEEP IT SIMPLE
AND LOW-KEY, OKAY?
267
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,094
- SIMPLE AND LOW-KEY IT IS.
268
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:55,729
I THOUGHT WE COULD
GO TO DINNER.
269
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:59,366
- SOMEPLACE EASY AND CASUAL,
NOTHING FANCY.
270
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,769
- HOW ABOUT
THE LIBERTY DINER?
271
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:02,736
- NOT THAT CASUAL.
[chuckles]
272
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,772
- LOOK, HOW ABOUT I MEET YOU
AT YOUR PLACE?
273
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,039
UM, WHAT TIME
DO YOU GET HOME?
274
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:10,010
- AH, IF I HAD MY DAMN PALM, I
COULD TELL YOU FOR SURE, BUT...
275
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:11,979
LET'S SEE, I'VE GOT CLASSES
TILL 4:00,
276
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:14,381
THEN THE DOCTOR'S,
THEN YOGA, SO...
277
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:17,651
I'D SAY AROUND 7:00.
UM, NO, YOU BETTER MAKE IT 7:30.
278
00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:18,786
- PERFECT.
279
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,320
- BEN.
280
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:22,923
- HEY, PAUL.
[grunts]
281
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,124
- HOW ARE YOU DOING, BABY?
282
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,258
- MM, GOOD.
GOOD. YOU?
283
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,860
- AH, NO COMPLAINTS.
284
00:10:26,894 --> 00:10:27,928
- PAUL, THIS IS MICHAEL.
285
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,130
- OH, MICHAEL.
286
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,732
I HEARD YOU WERE SEEING
SOMEONE.
287
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,133
- WORD TRAVELS FAST.
288
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:35,135
- [laughs]
AROUND HERE?
289
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,304
UH, LISTEN, UH,
WE SHOULD GET TOGETHER.
290
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:38,706
WHY DON'T YOU CALL ME
SOMETIME?
291
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:41,008
- I WILL, I'LL DO THAT.
- GOOD.
292
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,110
SEE YOU, MICHAEL.
both: SEE YOU.
293
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,378
- NICE GUY.
- PAUL? OH, YEAH, HE'S...
294
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:46,513
HE'S A SWEETHEART.
295
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:50,017
ACTUALLY, HE AND I WERE
TOGETHER ABOUT FIVE YEARS AGO.
296
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:51,151
- OH.
297
00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:53,887
- NO, WE STAYED FRIENDS,
AL--
298
00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:56,323
ALTHOUGH AT THE TIME,
IT WAS NOT EASY.
299
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:57,825
- WAIT, ISN'T THAT
ABOUT THE TIME
300
00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:58,859
THAT YOU FOUND OUT
THAT YOU WERE...
301
00:10:58,892 --> 00:10:59,860
- POSITIVE, YEAH.
302
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:01,061
HE'S THE ONE
WHO INFECTED ME.
303
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,796
- HOLY FUCK.
304
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,732
- NO, NO, NO, IT'S...
305
00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:06,166
IT'S OKAY.
306
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:09,436
HE DIDN'T KNOW AND I-I
SHOULD'VE BEEN MORE CAREFUL.
307
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,939
ANYWAY, I'VE, UH...
308
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,907
I'VE FORGIVEN HIM.
309
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,781
- THE MAN IS PERFECT.
310
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:21,915
THERE'S NO OTHER EXPLANATION.
311
00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:24,251
HOW ELSE COULD YOU FORGIVE
THE GUY WHO INFECTED YOU?
312
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,119
- [snorts]
TRY NUTS.
313
00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:28,321
- IF IT WERE ME,
I'D WANT TO KILL HIM.
314
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,990
- BEN'S NOT LIKE THAT.
315
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,292
HE'S MANAGED TO FREE HIMSELF
FROM ALL THE EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE
316
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:33,861
THAT THE REST OF US
CARRY AROUND.
317
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:34,828
- I WONDER HOW HE DOES IT.
318
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:37,330
- MY GUESS,
HE SINGS A LOT OF SHOW TUNES.
319
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,899
- YOU WEREN'T DOING
SUCH A BAD JOB,
320
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:41,134
BELTING THEM OUT.
- WHAT ABOUT YOU?
321
00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:43,203
YOUR DUET
WITH THE BOY INGENUE?
322
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,072
- AH, YOU MEAN SAINT LUKE?
323
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,940
- SOMETHING TELLS ME
YOUR INTEREST IN HIM
324
00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:48,375
ISN'T ENTIRELY SPIRITUAL.
325
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:51,111
- HE IS THE SWEETEST,
THE KINDEST, THE...
326
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,380
SEXIEST, MOST ADORABLE GUY
I'VE EVER MET.
327
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:54,948
- SO WHAT DOES HE THINK
ABOUT YOU?
328
00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:57,050
- HE THINKS I RUN
A RELIEF ORGANIZATION.
329
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:58,318
- WHAT?
- WHAT?
330
00:11:58,351 --> 00:11:59,319
- WHAT?
- WHAT?
331
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:00,353
- WHAT?
- WHAT?
332
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,889
- YEP.
333
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:04,091
ME, THE RED CROSS,
AND THE UNICEF.
334
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:06,994
- AND HOW, PRAY, DID HE GET
THAT IMPRESSION?
335
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:10,230
- WELL, HE ASKED ME
WHAT I DID, AND I, UH--
336
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:12,199
- LIED?
337
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:14,935
- WHY THE HELL DID YOU
DO THAT?
338
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,970
- HE'S A CHURCH-GOING
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHER
339
00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:18,505
WHO DOES CHARITY WORK,
FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
340
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,373
I MEAN, WHAT WOULD HE THINK
IF I TOLD HIM I'M THE CEO
341
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,309
OF JERKATWORK.NET?
342
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:24,144
- WELL, IF HE'S AS PERFECT
AS YOU SAY,
343
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:26,346
HE PROBABLY WOULDN'T CARE.
344
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:28,548
- [groans]
WELL, BOYS...
345
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,083
YOU DATE YOUR SAINTS.
346
00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:32,152
I'LL STICK TO THE SINNERS.
347
00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:37,825
- BUT IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY,
FOR CHRIST'S SAKES.
348
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,793
- COULDN'T YOU AT LEAST
HAVE A CAKE?
349
00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:42,129
- I DON'T NEED ANY CAKE.
I GAINED THREE OUNCES LAST WEEK.
350
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:43,964
NOW, WILL YOU PLEASE
GET OFF MY BACK?
351
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:46,166
I HAVE A SHITLOAD
OF WORK TO DO.
352
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,135
- HEY, YOU LOOK SPIFFY.
353
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:49,402
- A NEW SPORT COAT?
354
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:52,072
- YEP. MY MOM GOT IT FOR ME
FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
355
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:56,276
- DIDN'T YOUR DADDY EVER
TEACH YOU HOW TO TIE A TIE?
356
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:57,878
- NO, HE WAS TOO BUSY
KICKING ME OUT
357
00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,512
AND BEATING THE SHIT
OUT OF YOU.
358
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,281
- WELL, NEITHER DID MINE.
359
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,516
HE WAS TOO BUSY
REGRETTING THE DAY I WAS BORN.
360
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:04,517
COME HERE.
361
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:06,486
- * ALL RIGHT
362
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,889
* YOU'RE GETTING
WAY TOO CLOSE *
363
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:10,924
* ALL RIGHT
364
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,093
* SMELLIN' LIKE A ROSE
365
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,895
* COME ON
366
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:17,430
- THIS ISN'T THE BIRTHDAY SUIT
I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU IN.
367
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,566
[chuckles]
368
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:21,468
- * AND FIND A BETTER WAY
369
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:22,836
- THERE, NOW.
370
00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,437
GO GET SOME CULTURE.
371
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:27,240
*
372
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:30,243
- DON'T WORK TOO HARD.
373
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:35,949
*
374
00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:38,485
- I'LL CATCH UP WITH YOU.
375
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:39,586
*
376
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:42,222
- * WHAT HAVE WE GOT,
YOU AND ME *
377
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:43,423
- DID YOU FORGET SOMETHING?
378
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:45,325
- I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU.
379
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:46,894
- FEW DO.
380
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,361
- IT'S OBVIOUS HOW MUCH
YOU LOVE HIM,
381
00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:50,197
YET YOU WON'T CELEBRATE
HIS BIRTHDAY
382
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,232
BECAUSE YOU DON'T CONSIDER
IT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT.
383
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,201
WELL, ISN'T IT AN
ACCOMPLISHMENT THAT HE'S ALIVE
384
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:55,335
AND WELL?
385
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,070
ISN'T THAT ENOUGH REASON
TO CELEBRATE?
386
00:13:57,104 --> 00:14:00,307
- * MAKE MY DAY
WHEN YOU MAKE MY NIGHT *
387
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:04,945
* MAKE MY DAY
STEPPING INTO THE LIGHT *
388
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:09,049
* MAKE MY DAY
WHEN YOU MAKE MY NIGHT *
389
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,084
* ALL RIGHT
[door slams]
390
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:13,186
* YOU'RE GETTING
WAY TOO CLOSE *
391
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:16,189
[intense violin music]
392
00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:24,164
*
393
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,643
- I FOUND IT.
394
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:47,414
I WORE IT TO THE WHAT-A-DRAG
BALL IN '89.
395
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,382
I WENT AS CHO-CHO-SAN.
- [laughs]
396
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,651
- YOUR MOTHER WENT
AS PINKERTON.
397
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,586
I PROMISED EMMETT HE COULD
BORROW IT FOR THE PARTY.
398
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,156
- IT WILL MAKE
A FABULOUS HOSTESS GOWN.
399
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:58,491
- HE'LL BE STUNNING.
400
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,493
- JUST DON'T BE LATE.
401
00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:02,229
- AND DON'T YOU BE NERVOUS.
402
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:03,730
- I JUST WANT EVERYTHING
TO COME OFF AS PLANNED,
403
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,132
YOU KNOW, FOR BEN.
404
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:07,734
- IT'LL BE THE SOCIAL EVENT
OF THE SEASON.
405
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,336
- WHAT'S THE SOCIAL EVENT
OF THE SEASON?
406
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:11,704
THE HOMO HOP AT BABYLON?
407
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,474
- BEN'S SURPRISE PARTY.
408
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,209
- OH.
409
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:17,344
- [clears throat]
410
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:19,712
I WAS JUST TELLING VIC
NOT TO BE LATE.
411
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:22,749
- UH-HUH.
412
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,617
- YOU KNOW...
413
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,686
IF YOU WANT TO COME...
414
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:29,222
- AH, THAT'S OKAY.
I GOT PLANS. I'M--
415
00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:33,226
I'M, UH, I-I'M GOING
TO THE MOVIES WITH MY--MY--
416
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:35,595
MY FRIEND ROSIE.
417
00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:37,097
B-BUT PLEASE,
418
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:39,399
WISH HIM MANY HAPPY RETURNS
FOR ME.
419
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,672
- I WILL.
420
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,307
AND I'LL BE SURE TO GIVE THIS
TO EMMETT.
421
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,409
THANKS.
- SEE YOU, MICHAEL.
422
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:02,755
YOU HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO ROSIE
IN...12 YEARS?
423
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:04,457
- WELL, YOU NEVER KNOW,
SHE MAY CALL.
424
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:06,226
HERE, HELP ME WITH THIS.
425
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,201
- I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING
TO MAKE MORE OF AN EFFORT
426
00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:15,768
WHERE MICHAEL AND BEN
ARE CONCERNED.
427
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,637
- DO YOU SEE ME GIVING HIM
ANY GRIEF?
428
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:20,240
- I DON'T SEE YOU GIVING HIM
ANY JOY.
429
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:24,811
- I AGREED TO TOLERATE IT,
NOT ENDORSE IT.
430
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,314
- WELL, MAYBE YOU COULD
UP YOUR COMMITMENT A NOTCH.
431
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:28,748
YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT,
432
00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:30,683
BEN'S BEEN
A POSITIVE INFLUENCE ON HIM.
433
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:33,386
- POSITIVE?
EXACTLY.
434
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:34,821
- AND DESPITE
ALL OF YOUR DARKEST FEARS
435
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,289
AND DIRE PREDICTIONS,
436
00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:40,160
THEY BOTH SEEM TO BE
DOING JUST FINE.
437
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:42,762
SO WHY NOT BE A SPORT...
438
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:44,731
AND MAKE THE KID HAPPY?
439
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,471
- WAS HE AMAZING OR WHAT?
440
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:54,207
- AND TO THINK
THAT HE'S SO YOUNG.
441
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,409
- HE STARTED PLAYING
WHEN HE WAS FOUR.
442
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:58,445
HE STUDIED WITH THE GREAT
ANDREI VISHNEVSKI.
443
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,380
- I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT CLASSICAL MUSIC.
444
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,182
- I READ THE PROGRAM.
445
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,717
- I THINK WE'RE WITNESSING
A CONVERSION EXPERIENCE.
446
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,554
- ANOTHER LESBIAN
SUCCESS STORY. HMM.
447
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,456
- YES.
448
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,591
OH, THERE'S SUSAN. I'D BETTER
THANK HER FOR THE TICKETS.
449
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:12,625
OH, EXCUSE ME.
450
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:16,729
[indistinct chatter]
451
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,300
- THANK YOU FOR COMING.
452
00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:29,276
- I JUST WANTED TO SAY
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GREAT.
453
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:33,246
- THE RAVEL WAS PASSABLE,
BUT THE BRAHMS WAS FOR SHIT.
454
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:34,614
- I DIDN'T NOTICE.
455
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:37,417
- YEAH, WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE.
IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT.
456
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,619
- ME?
- YES.
457
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:43,656
THE WAY YOU WERE STARING
AT ME WAS VERY DISTRACTING.
458
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:45,392
- I'M SORRY.
459
00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:48,461
- ALTHOUGH NOT NECESSARILY
IN A BAD WAY.
460
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:50,597
- HEH.
YEAH, I'M JUSTIN.
461
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:53,366
- ETHAN.
- I KNOW.
462
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,901
- WHAT'S THIS?
463
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:57,670
- OH, IT'S NOTHING.
- LET ME SEE.
464
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:07,414
IT'S ME IN FIVE VARIATIONS.
- [chuckles]
465
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,782
IT'S A HABIT.
YOU KNOW, I CAN'T...
466
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,384
STOP MYSELF.
[chuckles]
467
00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:13,186
- IT'S THE SIGN
OF A TRUE ARTIST.
468
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:15,555
I PLAY IN MY SLEEP.
469
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:16,756
YOU GO TO SCHOOL HERE,
RIGHT?
470
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,625
- VISUAL ARTS.
- YEAH.
471
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,560
YEAH, I THOUGHT
I RECOGNIZED YOU.
472
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:23,196
- SOME FRIENDS BROUGHT ME
FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
473
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:27,166
- [singsong]
HELLO.
474
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:31,604
- HERE.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
475
00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:33,673
- IT'S YOUR OWN CD.
- YEAH, I MADE IT MYSELF.
476
00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:35,442
A COUPLE OF MOZART
SONATAS, A...
477
00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:37,677
DEBUSSY,
A LITTLE BERNSTEIN.
478
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,812
- HEH.
NICE PHOTO.
479
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:43,316
- YEAH, WELL, NEXT TIME,
I'M GOING TO USE ONE OF THESE.
480
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:45,518
- DO.
- ETHAN.
481
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:47,554
GOOD JOB.
- HI, HOW'RE YOU DOING?
482
00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:48,788
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
483
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:50,490
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU GUYS
IN SO LONG.
484
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:54,527
- WELL, IT'S BEEN, UH,
WHAT, TWO OR THREE MONTHS?
485
00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:01,200
- [breathing heavily]
486
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:08,741
[sighs deeply]
487
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,447
OHH.
488
00:20:14,481 --> 00:20:16,583
- MMM.
489
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:19,986
- OHH.
490
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,663
- YOU...
491
00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:34,301
ARE A WONDERFUL LOVER, TED.
492
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:38,338
YOU'RE SO NICE,
SO SINCERE...
493
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:41,941
SO HONEST.
494
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:44,444
I FELT IMMEDIATELY
495
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:47,013
THAT YOU'RE SOMEONE
I COULD TRUST.
496
00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:48,581
- [chuckles]
497
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,417
[stammering]
498
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,719
YOU REMEMBER, UH,
WHEN YOU ASKED ME WHAT I DID,
499
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:55,021
AND THEN--
AND I SAID I...
500
00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:56,889
I WORKED IN COMPUTERS?
501
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:59,292
- MM-HMM, AND THAT YOU'RE
A SERVICE PROVIDER
502
00:20:59,326 --> 00:21:02,729
FOR A RELIEF ORGANIZATION.
503
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:05,632
- [chuckles]
YEAH, UM...
504
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:07,867
W-WELL, THAT'S--THAT'S NOT
COMPLETELY ACCURATE,
505
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:11,938
ALTHOUGH...
I CAN UNDERSTAND FROM...
506
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:14,874
HOW INTENTIONALLY AMBIGUOUS
I WAS ABOUT MY JOB DESCRIPTION
507
00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:19,512
THAT YOU...
MIGHT ASSUME THAT, UH...
508
00:21:19,546 --> 00:21:21,348
THAT I SHIP
FOOD AND CLOTHING
509
00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:25,017
TO WAR-TORN REGIONS
OF THE GLOBE, WHEN...
510
00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:27,354
IN FACT, UH...
511
00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:29,689
THE SERVICE I PROVIDE...
512
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:34,527
[clears throat]
513
00:21:34,561 --> 00:21:36,396
IT'S A PORN SITE.
514
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:41,468
AND, UH, THE RELIEF
COMES FROM...
515
00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:46,606
WELL, I'M SURE YOU
CAN FIGURE OUT THE REST.
516
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:49,809
[clock ticking]
517
00:21:49,842 --> 00:21:51,911
[both sigh]
518
00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:53,980
WELL, I GUESS
WE'D BETTER GET DRESSED.
519
00:21:54,013 --> 00:21:56,383
- NO, WAIT.
520
00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:04,891
IS THAT WHAT YOU
WANTED TO TELL ME?
521
00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:06,526
- WELL, YEAH, I-I,
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT,
522
00:22:06,559 --> 00:22:08,795
AFTER EVERYTHING YOU TOLD ME
ABOUT YOURSELF THAT...
523
00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:12,699
YOU KNOW, YOU MIGHT...
524
00:22:12,732 --> 00:22:16,135
- NO, NO.
525
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:19,639
I'VE EVEN
BEEN ON THEM MYSELF.
526
00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:22,675
COUPLE TIMES.
527
00:22:22,709 --> 00:22:26,579
- YOU HAVE?
- MM-HMM.
528
00:22:26,613 --> 00:22:30,149
- AND YOU DON'T MIND?
529
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:33,586
- NO. NO.
530
00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:37,590
LOOK.
531
00:22:37,624 --> 00:22:42,028
YOU'RE WHAT MATTERS.
532
00:22:42,061 --> 00:22:44,897
- [sighs]
533
00:22:51,971 --> 00:22:54,874
- IT WAS INCREDIBLE.
[violin playing on CD]
534
00:22:54,907 --> 00:22:57,143
- HOOKED ON CLASSICS,
ARE WE?
535
00:22:57,176 --> 00:22:58,811
- YEAH, AND THE GUY
THAT PLAYED THE VIOLIN,
536
00:22:58,845 --> 00:23:01,047
I WISH YOU COULD'VE
BEEN THERE, HE WAS...
537
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:05,618
HE WAS INCREDIBLE.
- INCREDIBLE, EH?
538
00:23:05,652 --> 00:23:07,954
- YOU KNOW,
IT WOULDN'T HURT YOU
539
00:23:07,987 --> 00:23:11,458
TO EXPOSE YOURSELF
TO SOME CULTURE.
540
00:23:11,491 --> 00:23:13,993
- I'VE EXPOSED MYSELF
TO A LITTLE CULTURE.
541
00:23:14,026 --> 00:23:16,763
THERE WAS AN OBOE PLAYER
I MET AT THE BATHS ONCE.
542
00:23:16,796 --> 00:23:17,864
- OHH.
543
00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:25,838
*
544
00:23:32,812 --> 00:23:37,784
- ARE YOU UP FOR ANOTHER
BIRTHDAY TREAT?
545
00:23:37,817 --> 00:23:40,653
- NO WAY.
546
00:23:40,687 --> 00:23:42,789
[chuckles]
547
00:23:42,822 --> 00:23:46,058
NO FUCKING WAY.
548
00:23:46,092 --> 00:23:47,794
I KNEW IT.
549
00:23:47,827 --> 00:23:49,796
ALL THAT BULLSHIT
ABOUT NOT DOING BIRTHDAYS.
550
00:23:49,829 --> 00:23:52,799
YOU WERE JUST GOING
TO SURPRISE ME.
551
00:23:52,832 --> 00:23:55,034
OHH.
552
00:23:55,067 --> 00:23:59,506
WHAT IS IT?
553
00:23:59,539 --> 00:24:01,708
- THIS WAY, YOUNG MAN.
554
00:24:03,576 --> 00:24:05,211
- I'M GOING TO TRIP.
555
00:24:05,244 --> 00:24:06,946
[yelps]
556
00:24:15,888 --> 00:24:18,190
- [imitates motor buzzing]
557
00:24:18,224 --> 00:24:21,828
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
558
00:24:21,861 --> 00:24:24,664
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
559
00:24:24,697 --> 00:24:27,800
DO YOU LIKE YOUR PRESENT?
560
00:24:27,834 --> 00:24:30,202
HE LOOKS JUST LIKE
THAT UNDERWEAR MODEL
561
00:24:30,236 --> 00:24:32,539
YOU LIKE, DOESN'T HE?
562
00:24:32,572 --> 00:24:36,743
ARE YOU GOING TO UNWRAP IT?
563
00:25:08,808 --> 00:25:10,677
- HI.
[gong crashes]
564
00:25:10,710 --> 00:25:12,612
- [bad Asian accent]
WELCOME, KIND GENTLEMEN.
565
00:25:12,645 --> 00:25:13,913
PLEASE ENTER.
566
00:25:13,946 --> 00:25:16,583
I AM YOUR HOSTESS
FOR THE EVENING.
567
00:25:16,616 --> 00:25:18,150
[shy giggle]
568
00:25:18,184 --> 00:25:20,086
- EMMETT, IS THAT YOU?
569
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:24,624
- YEAH, HONEY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
570
00:25:24,657 --> 00:25:26,292
- YOU PUT THE "GAY"
BACK IN GEISHA.
571
00:25:26,325 --> 00:25:27,093
- AWW.
572
00:25:27,126 --> 00:25:28,628
- COME ON, HURRY UP
AND GET IN.
573
00:25:28,661 --> 00:25:30,129
HE'S GOING TO BE HERE
ANY MINUTE.
574
00:25:30,162 --> 00:25:31,330
[Emmett gasping]
575
00:25:31,363 --> 00:25:33,299
[soft Japanese music]
576
00:25:33,332 --> 00:25:35,267
- UH, MICHAEL,
577
00:25:35,301 --> 00:25:37,637
M. BUTTERFLY...
578
00:25:37,670 --> 00:25:39,572
THIS IS LUKE.
- UH, LUKE, RIGHT.
579
00:25:39,606 --> 00:25:41,874
WE, UH, WE MET AT THE CHURCH
OF THE HOLY SHOW TUNE.
580
00:25:41,908 --> 00:25:43,175
- RIGHT.
581
00:25:43,209 --> 00:25:44,911
IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, LUKE.
582
00:25:44,944 --> 00:25:46,178
- JESUS.
583
00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:47,313
THIS LOOKS
LIKE A DREAM I HAD
584
00:25:47,346 --> 00:25:50,016
AFTER I ATE
SOME BAD MOO GOO GAI PAN.
585
00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:52,151
- YEAH, IT WAS JUST SUPPOSED
TO BE A FEW RED LANTERNS.
586
00:25:52,184 --> 00:25:54,754
- OKAY, SO I GOT
A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY.
587
00:25:54,787 --> 00:25:58,224
COME ON IN, HAVE SOME SAKE
AND CORN DOODLES.
588
00:25:58,257 --> 00:26:00,860
- I KIND OF BLEW MY FOOD BUDGET
ON THE ROOM.
589
00:26:00,893 --> 00:26:02,094
HMM.
- [chuckling]
590
00:26:02,128 --> 00:26:05,231
[indistinct chatter]
591
00:26:05,264 --> 00:26:08,334
- OH. MEL, LINZ...
592
00:26:08,367 --> 00:26:10,837
THIS IS LUKE.
593
00:26:10,870 --> 00:26:12,271
- OH, SO YOU'RE
THE FAMOUS LUKE
594
00:26:12,304 --> 00:26:14,206
THAT TED'S
BEEN RAVING ABOUT.
595
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:15,975
- TED THINKS
YOU'RE PRETTY TERRIFIC.
596
00:26:16,008 --> 00:26:17,777
- WE THINK TED'S
PRETTY TERRIFIC TOO.
597
00:26:17,810 --> 00:26:19,679
- TELL HIM MORE.
TELL HIM MORE.
598
00:26:19,712 --> 00:26:20,813
I'LL GO GET SOME SAKE.
599
00:26:20,847 --> 00:26:24,150
[knock on door]
600
00:26:24,183 --> 00:26:25,217
- UNCLE VIC.
601
00:26:25,251 --> 00:26:26,953
- ON TIME,
JUST LIKE YOU SAID.
602
00:26:26,986 --> 00:26:28,955
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND,
I, UH...
603
00:26:28,988 --> 00:26:30,056
BROUGHT ALONG A FRIEND.
604
00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:31,390
- THE MORE THE MERRIER.
605
00:26:35,261 --> 00:26:36,395
MA, YOU CAME.
606
00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:38,264
- YEAH, WELL, MY--
MY FRIEND ROSIE CALLED
607
00:26:38,297 --> 00:26:40,066
AND CANCELLED
AT THE LAST MINUTE.
608
00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:43,369
AND, UH, SINCE I HAD
NOTHING ELSE TO DO, I...
609
00:26:43,402 --> 00:26:45,972
- WELL, I'M REALLY GLAD
YOU'RE HERE,
610
00:26:46,005 --> 00:26:48,675
AND I'M SURE
BEN WILL BE TOO.
611
00:26:48,708 --> 00:26:49,842
- LISTEN, BABY,
612
00:26:49,876 --> 00:26:51,243
AS LONG
AS HE'S GOOD TO YOU,
613
00:26:51,277 --> 00:26:54,313
THE LEAST I COULD DO
IS WISH HIM A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
614
00:26:54,346 --> 00:26:55,848
AND MANY MORE.
615
00:26:58,017 --> 00:26:59,952
[both chuckle]
616
00:26:59,986 --> 00:27:02,321
- BUT IT'S TRUE, TED'S
JUST BEEN RAVING ABOUT YOU.
617
00:27:02,354 --> 00:27:03,823
- I DON'T THINK
I'VE HEARD ANYONE
618
00:27:03,856 --> 00:27:06,726
USE "EST" MORE TIMES
IN ONE SENTENCE.
619
00:27:06,759 --> 00:27:07,727
THE NICEST,
620
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:09,128
THE CUTEST, THE SWEETEST.
621
00:27:09,161 --> 00:27:11,698
- HE THINKS
YOU'RE VERY SPECIAL.
622
00:27:11,731 --> 00:27:14,801
YOU GOTTA BE,
CONSIDERING WHAT HE DOES.
623
00:27:14,834 --> 00:27:17,003
- THE DICK CHANNEL--
ALL DICK, ALL THE TIME.
624
00:27:17,036 --> 00:27:18,971
- WELL, THIS IS BY FAR
625
00:27:19,005 --> 00:27:20,372
THE MOST INTERESTING
DISCUSSION IN THE ROOM.
626
00:27:20,406 --> 00:27:21,941
- WE'RE JUST SAYING
HOW GREAT IT IS
627
00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:23,876
THAT LUKE'S SO OPEN-MINDED
ABOUT TED'S PORN SITE.
628
00:27:23,910 --> 00:27:25,144
NOT EVERYONE WOULD BE.
629
00:27:25,177 --> 00:27:28,414
- WELL, I ADMIRE SOMEONE WHO'S
PASSIONATE ABOUT WHAT HE DOES.
630
00:27:28,447 --> 00:27:31,217
- OH, HE'S PASSIONATE,
ALL RIGHT.
631
00:27:31,250 --> 00:27:33,052
EATS, DRINKS,
SLEEPS PORN, 24-7.
632
00:27:33,085 --> 00:27:34,286
PORN, PORN, PORN.
633
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:35,454
[all laugh]
634
00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:38,157
- OUR LITTLE ENTREPRENEUR
IS NOT GOING TO STOP THERE.
635
00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:40,026
- HE'S FAR TOO AMBITIOUS
FOR THAT.
636
00:27:40,059 --> 00:27:41,327
MM, I'M SURE HE'S GOT LIKE,
637
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:43,062
A DOZEN OTHER WEBSITES
PLANNED.
638
00:27:43,095 --> 00:27:44,330
- FILM STUDIO.
639
00:27:44,363 --> 00:27:46,298
- EVEN A THEME PARK.
640
00:27:46,332 --> 00:27:48,300
- SAKE?
- OH, UH, NO THANKS.
641
00:27:48,334 --> 00:27:50,202
I-I DON'T DRINK.
642
00:27:50,236 --> 00:27:53,439
- IS HE THE KINDEST,
THE SWEETEST, THE CUTEST?
643
00:27:53,472 --> 00:27:55,875
- WHAT'D I TELL YOU?
644
00:27:55,908 --> 00:27:57,744
- WHICH I GUESS MAKES ME
ABOUT THE LUCKIEST GUY
645
00:27:57,777 --> 00:28:01,380
IN THE WORLD.
646
00:28:01,413 --> 00:28:02,715
- THERE'S SOMEBODY COMING UP
THE STEPS.
647
00:28:02,749 --> 00:28:04,150
IT'S HIM.
EVERYBODY HIDE!
648
00:28:04,183 --> 00:28:07,186
[all gasping and squealing]
649
00:28:07,219 --> 00:28:10,122
- ALL RIGHT, THIS IS IT.
THIS IS IT.
650
00:28:18,765 --> 00:28:20,432
all: SURPRISE!
651
00:28:20,466 --> 00:28:21,901
- SURPRISE.
[all groan]
652
00:28:21,934 --> 00:28:23,035
- IT'S 7:20.
653
00:28:23,069 --> 00:28:24,336
YOU DON'T SHOW UP
FASHIONABLY LATE
654
00:28:24,370 --> 00:28:25,537
FOR A SURPRISE PARTY.
655
00:28:25,571 --> 00:28:29,008
- WELL, WE WERE BUSY HAVING
OUR OWN LITTLE CELEBRATION.
656
00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:30,309
- YOU HAD A CELEBRATION?
657
00:28:30,342 --> 00:28:32,478
- BRIAN CAME THROUGH
AFTER ALL.
658
00:28:32,511 --> 00:28:36,916
- YEAH,
HE GOT ME A HUSTLER.
659
00:28:36,949 --> 00:28:40,052
- WHAT?
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?
660
00:28:40,086 --> 00:28:41,487
[door opens]
- HE'S COMING.
661
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,155
THIS TIME, IT'S REALLY HIM.
662
00:28:43,189 --> 00:28:44,757
EVERYBODY HIDE.
663
00:28:46,358 --> 00:28:47,326
- SHH.
664
00:28:47,359 --> 00:28:48,828
[clatter and footfall]
665
00:28:48,861 --> 00:28:49,862
- SHH!
- SHH!
666
00:28:49,896 --> 00:28:51,864
- SHH...
- SHH! SHH!
667
00:28:55,134 --> 00:28:59,138
all: SURPRISE!
[party horns blowing]
668
00:28:59,171 --> 00:29:00,907
- LOOK, WE--WE REALLY
SURPRISED HIM.
669
00:29:00,940 --> 00:29:02,909
WE REALLY SURPRISED YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
670
00:29:02,942 --> 00:29:04,310
- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?
671
00:29:04,343 --> 00:29:05,878
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY,
672
00:29:05,912 --> 00:29:07,113
AND I CALLED
ALL YOUR FRIENDS.
673
00:29:07,146 --> 00:29:09,081
- HOW DO YOU KNOW
ALL MY FRIENDS?
674
00:29:09,115 --> 00:29:10,182
- WELL...
675
00:29:10,216 --> 00:29:11,851
I BORROWED THIS.
- OH, NO.
676
00:29:11,884 --> 00:29:13,419
- OH, REALLY?
[laughter]
677
00:29:13,452 --> 00:29:15,087
- OKAY, YOU'VE HAD THIS
ALL THIS TIME?
678
00:29:15,121 --> 00:29:16,989
- I'M THE CULPRIT.
[laughter]
679
00:29:17,023 --> 00:29:18,858
- YOU HAD NO RIGHT,
MICHAEL.
680
00:29:18,891 --> 00:29:21,460
- WELL, I'M SORRY,
I WAS JUST...
681
00:29:21,493 --> 00:29:22,929
WHAT THE HELL'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?
682
00:29:22,962 --> 00:29:25,064
- I TOLD YOU
I DIDN'T WANT A PARTY.
683
00:29:25,097 --> 00:29:27,466
I DON'T WANT TO CELEBRATE
MY GODDAMN BIRTHDAY.
684
00:29:27,499 --> 00:29:28,868
[indistinct chatter]
685
00:29:28,901 --> 00:29:31,537
- FINALLY, A MAN
WITH THE RIGHT ATTITUDE.
686
00:29:31,570 --> 00:29:33,139
- BUT, BEN,
ALL YOUR FRIENDS--
687
00:29:33,172 --> 00:29:34,506
- OH, YEAH, MY FRIENDS.
688
00:29:34,540 --> 00:29:36,008
[scoffs]
689
00:29:39,178 --> 00:29:42,581
YEAH, I WANT MY FRIENDS
OUT OF HERE NOW.
690
00:29:42,614 --> 00:29:44,851
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
691
00:29:46,919 --> 00:29:49,188
- OKAY, UM...
692
00:29:49,221 --> 00:29:50,322
[door slams]
693
00:29:50,356 --> 00:29:51,423
- SO...
- PARTY'S OVER THEN.
694
00:29:51,457 --> 00:29:54,193
[mixed murmurs]
695
00:29:54,226 --> 00:29:57,196
- AND THIS IS THE GUY
WHO'S GOOD FOR MY SON.
696
00:30:15,281 --> 00:30:16,482
- AFTER ALL I WENT THROUGH
697
00:30:16,515 --> 00:30:19,051
TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL,
TO SURPRISE HIM,
698
00:30:19,085 --> 00:30:21,187
TO MAKE HIM HAPPY,
HOW COULD HE HUMILIATE ME
699
00:30:21,220 --> 00:30:23,055
IN FRONT OF EVERYONE
LIKE THAT?
700
00:30:23,089 --> 00:30:24,256
- HEY, WILL YOU SLOW DOWN?
701
00:30:24,290 --> 00:30:27,459
- AND HERE I AM, THINKING
HE'S SO WISE AND SO TOGETHER.
702
00:30:27,493 --> 00:30:30,196
YOU KNOW, THAT HE LIVES ON
SOME HIGHER SPIRITUAL PLANE
703
00:30:30,229 --> 00:30:32,031
THAN THE REST OF US POOR,
DUMB MORTALS.
704
00:30:32,064 --> 00:30:34,533
BOY, DID HE HAVE ME FOOLED.
WAS I FUCKING STUPID.
705
00:30:34,566 --> 00:30:36,202
- HEY, ARE YOU FINISHED?
- WHY?
706
00:30:36,235 --> 00:30:37,503
YOU IN A HURRY
TO PICK SOMEONE UP?
707
00:30:37,536 --> 00:30:39,371
- NO, I'M JUST TIRED
OF HEARING YOU PLAY
708
00:30:39,405 --> 00:30:41,307
VARIATIONS ON THE THEME
OF POOR LITTLE MIKEY.
709
00:30:41,340 --> 00:30:43,242
- OH, I'M SO SORRY
I BORE YOU.
710
00:30:43,275 --> 00:30:44,643
- WELL, THEN,
TRY ANOTHER SONG.
711
00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:46,245
- WHAT DID I DO?
712
00:30:46,278 --> 00:30:49,048
BESIDES THROW HIM
A GODDAMN PARTY?
713
00:30:49,081 --> 00:30:51,984
- YEAH, I'M JUST
PARKED OVER HERE.
714
00:30:52,018 --> 00:30:54,120
- NEVER MIND. FORGET IT.
GO TO WOODY'S.
715
00:30:54,153 --> 00:30:56,188
GET DRUNK. THROW UP.
PASS OUT.
716
00:30:56,222 --> 00:30:57,223
YOU'LL FEEL MUCH BETTER
IN THE MORNING.
717
00:30:57,256 --> 00:30:59,391
- NO! TELL ME.
718
00:31:03,129 --> 00:31:04,931
- YOU WANT TOO MUCH.
719
00:31:06,298 --> 00:31:08,500
YOU EXPECT TOO MUCH.
720
00:31:08,534 --> 00:31:10,036
AND THEN WHEN YOUR HERO
DISAPPOINTS YOU,
721
00:31:10,069 --> 00:31:11,437
YOUR POOR LITTLE HEART
GETS CRUSHED.
722
00:31:11,470 --> 00:31:13,605
- SO WHAT'S THE ALTERNATIVE?
723
00:31:13,639 --> 00:31:18,978
TO EXPECT NOTHING?
TO WANT NOTHING, LIKE YOU?
724
00:31:19,011 --> 00:31:21,513
- OH, UH, JACK AND GILLES,
725
00:31:21,547 --> 00:31:23,315
UH, ROLF FROM DUSSELDORF
IS ONLINE.
726
00:31:23,349 --> 00:31:26,618
HE WANTS YOU TWO TO DO A LITTLE
DOUBLE-HEADED DILDO ACTION.
727
00:31:26,652 --> 00:31:27,920
DANKE.
728
00:31:27,954 --> 00:31:29,989
[heavy breathing
on computer screens]
729
00:31:30,022 --> 00:31:32,658
HEY.
730
00:31:32,691 --> 00:31:35,394
WHAT A NICE SURPRISE.
[chuckling]
731
00:31:35,427 --> 00:31:39,165
MMM. BETTER THAN NICE.
MM.
732
00:31:39,198 --> 00:31:40,933
- DID I COME AT A BAD TIME?
733
00:31:40,967 --> 00:31:42,701
- AROUND HERE,
NO SUCH THING.
734
00:31:42,734 --> 00:31:43,535
[both chuckle]
735
00:31:43,569 --> 00:31:46,205
HEY, LET ME GIVE YOU
THE V.I.P. TOUR.
736
00:31:46,238 --> 00:31:51,410
SO, THIS
IS MY LITTLE KINGDOM.
737
00:31:51,443 --> 00:31:53,479
OVER HERE,
YOU SEE THE BOYS
738
00:31:53,512 --> 00:31:55,514
DOING THEIR LITTLE THING...
739
00:31:55,547 --> 00:31:56,682
WITH THEIR BIG THINGS.
740
00:31:56,715 --> 00:31:59,018
OH, EASY, GUYS.
741
00:31:59,051 --> 00:32:01,387
YOU'VE GOT 15 MORE TO GO,
SO PACE YOURSELVES,
742
00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:04,723
PACE YOURSELVES.
743
00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:07,960
GOD, YOU ARE JUST
THE CUTEST.
744
00:32:07,994 --> 00:32:11,130
MM! BOY, IF MY MEMBERS
GOT ONE LOOK AT YOU, HMM!
745
00:32:11,163 --> 00:32:14,233
UH, DON'T WORRY.
NOBODY GETS YOU BUT ME.
746
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:17,669
[performers moaning]
747
00:32:17,703 --> 00:32:19,438
WHAT?
748
00:32:19,471 --> 00:32:21,173
[performers moaning]
749
00:32:21,207 --> 00:32:23,609
- I, UH...
750
00:32:23,642 --> 00:32:26,578
I CAME TO TELL YOU, I-I THINK
WE'RE MOVING TOO FAST.
751
00:32:26,612 --> 00:32:28,580
- TOO FAST?
752
00:32:28,614 --> 00:32:30,983
- IN FACT, I-I DON'T THINK
WE SHOULD SEE EACH OTHER
753
00:32:31,017 --> 00:32:32,318
FOR A WHILE.
754
00:32:32,351 --> 00:32:35,487
- [scoffs]
YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
755
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:42,961
WHY?
756
00:32:46,265 --> 00:32:48,667
[performers grunting
and moaning]
757
00:32:51,670 --> 00:32:53,372
IT'S BECAUSE OF THIS,
ISN'T IT?
758
00:32:53,405 --> 00:32:55,074
- LOOK...
759
00:32:55,107 --> 00:32:56,508
I THOUGHT IT WOULDN'T
MEAN ANYTHING.
760
00:32:56,542 --> 00:32:58,310
I TRIED NOT TO LET IT.
761
00:32:58,344 --> 00:33:01,347
LOOK, I-I EVEN TOLD MYSELF
IT'S JUST A JOB.
762
00:33:01,380 --> 00:33:03,649
LIKE ANY OTHER JOB,
YOU'RE PROVIDING A-A SERVICE.
763
00:33:03,682 --> 00:33:05,784
- THAT'S ALL IT IS.
764
00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:07,286
[performers groaning]
765
00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:10,289
[hand slapping flesh]
766
00:33:10,322 --> 00:33:12,324
- THAT'S NOT ALL IT IS.
767
00:33:12,358 --> 00:33:14,493
- NO. NO...
WAIT, WAIT!.
768
00:33:14,526 --> 00:33:16,462
- LOOK, PLEASE, DON'T
MAKE THIS MORE DIFFICULT...
769
00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:18,264
- LOOK, I'M WILLING TO DO
WHATEVER IT TAKES. OKAY?
770
00:33:18,297 --> 00:33:19,365
ANYTHING.
YOU NAME IT.
771
00:33:19,398 --> 00:33:21,100
I'LL GIVE IT UP.
- NO.
772
00:33:21,133 --> 00:33:24,736
NO, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE
TO GIVE UP DOING WHAT YOU LOVE.
773
00:33:24,770 --> 00:33:27,106
LOOK, BESIDES...
774
00:33:27,139 --> 00:33:29,508
IT'S NOT YOUR PROBLEM.
775
00:33:29,541 --> 00:33:30,642
IT'S MINE.
776
00:33:30,676 --> 00:33:33,312
- THEN WE'LL WORK ON IT
TOGETHER.
777
00:33:36,682 --> 00:33:39,051
- I'M SORRY, TED.
778
00:34:06,478 --> 00:34:08,614
- ALL RIGHT, EASY, GUYS.
779
00:34:08,647 --> 00:34:10,316
PACE YOURSELVES.
780
00:34:11,783 --> 00:34:13,452
PACE YOURSELVES.
781
00:34:22,161 --> 00:34:24,630
- SO HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE
LEDA'S GOFERS?
782
00:34:24,663 --> 00:34:26,298
- SHE'S DOING US
A FAVOR.
783
00:34:26,332 --> 00:34:28,267
- WE HAD TO VOLUNTEER.
784
00:34:28,300 --> 00:34:31,670
- YEAH, WELL, NEXT TIME,
DO YOURSELVES A FAVOR, AND ME.
785
00:34:31,703 --> 00:34:34,106
HIRE A PROFESSIONAL.
786
00:34:34,140 --> 00:34:36,142
- YEAH, YOU KNOW
ABOUT THAT, HUH?
787
00:34:36,175 --> 00:34:38,177
- SHIT, I LEFT
MY CREDIT CARD.
788
00:34:38,210 --> 00:34:40,712
- YOU'RE SURE?
- BE RIGHT BACK.
789
00:34:47,619 --> 00:34:49,455
- SO I HEAR YOU FINALLY
BROKE DOWN
790
00:34:49,488 --> 00:34:51,590
AND GOT JUSTIN SOMETHING
FOR HIS BIRTHDAY.
791
00:34:51,623 --> 00:34:53,425
A HUSTLER.
- YEAH.
792
00:34:53,459 --> 00:34:56,428
HE REALLY GOT OFF ON IT.
793
00:34:56,462 --> 00:34:57,829
- JUST WHAT HE NEEDS--
794
00:34:57,863 --> 00:34:59,231
TO GET LAID.
795
00:34:59,265 --> 00:35:00,532
- I DIDN'T HEAR HIM
COMPLAINING.
796
00:35:00,566 --> 00:35:02,668
- OF COURSE NOT,
HE WOULDN'T DARE.
797
00:35:02,701 --> 00:35:05,437
- THEN WHY ARE YOU?
- BECAUSE...
798
00:35:05,471 --> 00:35:07,139
I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU.
799
00:35:07,173 --> 00:35:09,875
- OH, FINALLY,
SOMEONE WHO ISN'T.
800
00:35:09,908 --> 00:35:11,210
- YOU MIGHT'VE GIVEN HIM
801
00:35:11,243 --> 00:35:12,444
SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE
THOUGHTFUL.
802
00:35:12,478 --> 00:35:14,813
- WOULD YOU SAVE THE JEWISH
MOTHER GUILT TRIP FOR MY SON?
803
00:35:14,846 --> 00:35:15,814
- AH, FUCK OFF, BRIAN.
804
00:35:15,847 --> 00:35:18,217
I'M JUST TRYING TO LET YOU KNOW
WHAT HE WANTS.
805
00:35:18,250 --> 00:35:20,619
- AND WHAT DOES HE WANT,
MAMA?
806
00:35:20,652 --> 00:35:23,622
- SOMETHING ROMANTIC.
807
00:35:23,655 --> 00:35:25,357
- JESUS CHRIST,
WHAT DO YOU THINK WE ARE?
808
00:35:25,391 --> 00:35:27,693
A COUPLE OF DYKES?
- YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY.
809
00:35:27,726 --> 00:35:29,895
- MAYBE I SHOULD SEND HIM
A DOZEN ROSES.
810
00:35:29,928 --> 00:35:31,497
- WHY NOT?
811
00:35:31,530 --> 00:35:33,332
- BECAUSE HE'S NOT MY WIFE.
812
00:35:33,365 --> 00:35:36,302
WE'RE NOT MARRIED,
AND WE'RE NOT STRAIGHT.
813
00:35:36,335 --> 00:35:38,637
- COULDN'T YOU BEND YOUR...
814
00:35:38,670 --> 00:35:40,772
HOLIER-THAN-THOU, "I'M GAY
AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT
815
00:35:40,806 --> 00:35:43,542
YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK"
PRINCIPLES JUST ONCE?
816
00:35:43,575 --> 00:35:44,876
LET HIM KNOW YOU CARE.
817
00:35:44,910 --> 00:35:47,513
- I THOUGHT HE DID.
818
00:35:48,747 --> 00:35:50,148
- GOT IT!
819
00:35:55,454 --> 00:35:58,424
[violin playing]
820
00:35:58,457 --> 00:36:06,465
*
821
00:36:42,334 --> 00:36:44,370
- I THOUGHT YOU WERE
THE MAINTENANCE GUY.
822
00:36:44,403 --> 00:36:45,671
THERE'S NO HEAT.
823
00:36:45,704 --> 00:36:48,440
- SORRY.
824
00:36:48,474 --> 00:36:50,509
- IT'S OKAY.
825
00:36:50,542 --> 00:36:52,578
MAYBE THINGS WILL WARM UP
NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE.
826
00:36:52,611 --> 00:36:55,747
- [chuckles]
827
00:36:55,781 --> 00:36:57,583
I WAS, UM--
828
00:36:57,616 --> 00:36:59,351
I WAS JUST CUTTING THROUGH
THE MUSIC BUILDING,
829
00:36:59,385 --> 00:37:00,719
AND I HEARD SOMEONE
PLAYING.
830
00:37:00,752 --> 00:37:01,820
THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE YOU.
831
00:37:01,853 --> 00:37:03,989
SO I POPPED
MY HEAD IN AND...
832
00:37:04,022 --> 00:37:05,457
- AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW,
YOU FOUND ME.
833
00:37:05,491 --> 00:37:06,492
YOU WANT SOME TEA?
834
00:37:06,525 --> 00:37:07,759
- NO.
835
00:37:10,496 --> 00:37:13,332
I WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU
FOR THE CD.
836
00:37:13,365 --> 00:37:15,901
- YOU LISTENED TO IT?
837
00:37:15,934 --> 00:37:19,471
- SIX TIMES.
YOU'RE INCREDIBLE.
838
00:37:19,505 --> 00:37:22,374
- I KNOW.
HOW WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY?
839
00:37:22,408 --> 00:37:23,875
DID YOU HAVE A BIG PARTY?
840
00:37:23,909 --> 00:37:26,345
- UM, NOT REALLY.
841
00:37:26,378 --> 00:37:27,546
MY BOYFRIEND
DOESN'T THINK BEING BORN
842
00:37:27,579 --> 00:37:29,615
IS A REASON TO CELEBRATE.
843
00:37:29,648 --> 00:37:32,784
- OH.
WELL, THAT SUCKS.
844
00:37:32,818 --> 00:37:34,786
- I DIDN'T REALLY WANT ONE
ANYWAY.
845
00:37:34,820 --> 00:37:36,588
- NO, I MEAN THAT YOU HAVE
A BOYFRIEND.
846
00:37:38,089 --> 00:37:39,858
- OH.
847
00:37:39,891 --> 00:37:41,327
- BECAUSE IF I
WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND,
848
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,362
I'D GIVE YOU A BIRTHDAY
YOU'D NEVER FORGET.
849
00:37:43,395 --> 00:37:45,897
- [chuckles]
LIKE WHAT?
850
00:37:45,931 --> 00:37:49,335
- LIKE...FIRST...
851
00:37:49,368 --> 00:37:53,372
I'D BRING YOU BREAKFAST
IN BED.
852
00:37:53,405 --> 00:37:56,608
AND THEN I'D PLAY
FOR YOU...
853
00:37:56,642 --> 00:37:59,445
ONE OF RAVEL'S
VALSE NOBLE ET SENTIMENTALES,
854
00:37:59,478 --> 00:38:01,380
BECAUSE THAT'S
HOW I PICTURE YOU,
855
00:38:01,413 --> 00:38:04,416
NOBLE AND SENTIMENTAL.
856
00:38:06,485 --> 00:38:11,890
AND THEN WE'D MAKE LOVE
A COUPLE HUNDRED TIMES.
857
00:38:11,923 --> 00:38:14,726
- [chuckles]
ALL THAT BEFORE LUNCH?
858
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:16,628
- YES.
859
00:38:18,797 --> 00:38:22,601
BUT I'M NOT
YOUR BOYFRIEND.
860
00:38:24,903 --> 00:38:27,873
- I GOTTA...
GET BACK TO CLASS.
861
00:38:30,376 --> 00:38:33,379
[ticking]
862
00:38:37,683 --> 00:38:40,652
[playing]
863
00:38:40,686 --> 00:38:45,557
*
864
00:38:45,591 --> 00:38:47,526
[knock on door]
865
00:39:09,848 --> 00:39:13,385
- I'VE MISSED YOU
THE LAST FEW NIGHTS.
866
00:39:13,419 --> 00:39:15,120
- YEAH, WELL, I THOUGHT
IT'D BE BEST IF I SLEPT ALONE.
867
00:39:15,153 --> 00:39:16,221
YOU KNOW?
868
00:39:16,254 --> 00:39:21,126
IN FACT, I THINK I OUGHT
TO SLEEP ALONE FROM NOW ON.
869
00:39:21,159 --> 00:39:22,894
- MICHAEL...
870
00:39:22,928 --> 00:39:24,396
PLEASE.
871
00:39:24,430 --> 00:39:25,664
I KNOW I GOT A LITTLE UPSET
AT THE PARTY--
872
00:39:25,697 --> 00:39:28,867
- A LITTLE UPSET?
YOU WERE A FUCKING MONSTER!
873
00:39:28,900 --> 00:39:30,636
HUMILIATING ME,
HUMILIATING YOURSELF.
874
00:39:30,669 --> 00:39:31,970
- I KNOW THAT TOO.
875
00:39:32,003 --> 00:39:33,138
- AND AFTER ALL THE TROUBLE
I WENT THROUGH FOR YOU.
876
00:39:33,171 --> 00:39:34,406
- I KNOW.
I KNOW.
877
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:35,774
- WELL, I WON'T
BE DOING THAT AGAIN.
878
00:39:35,807 --> 00:39:36,942
I MEAN, NOT THAT IT MATTERS,
'CAUSE I DON'T THINK
879
00:39:36,975 --> 00:39:38,610
WE'RE GOING TO BE SPENDING
ANY MORE BIRTHDAYS TOGETHER.
880
00:39:38,644 --> 00:39:39,911
- MY T-CELLS WENT DOWN.
881
00:39:39,945 --> 00:39:42,047
- WHAT?
882
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:45,651
- AND MY VIRAL LOAD'S
BACK UP.
883
00:39:47,786 --> 00:39:51,490
- HOW UP?
- 125,000.
884
00:39:52,724 --> 00:39:55,727
THAT'S WHERE I WAS
BEFORE I CAME HOME,
885
00:39:55,761 --> 00:39:59,531
AT THE DOCTOR'S,
GETTING THE RESULTS.
886
00:39:59,565 --> 00:40:01,467
THE COCKTAIL'S NOT WORKING.
887
00:40:01,500 --> 00:40:05,737
THE VIRUS HAS BECOME
RESISTANT.
888
00:40:05,771 --> 00:40:07,072
- WELL, CAN'T THEY
CHANGE THE DRUGS?
889
00:40:07,105 --> 00:40:09,407
- THEY ALREADY HAVE.
890
00:40:14,079 --> 00:40:15,514
- SINCE WHEN DO YOU SMOKE?
891
00:40:17,816 --> 00:40:20,018
[shuts lighter]
892
00:40:20,051 --> 00:40:22,621
- SINCE I'M NERVOUS,
MICHAEL.
893
00:40:22,654 --> 00:40:24,823
WOULD YOU STOP
LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?
894
00:40:24,856 --> 00:40:27,659
PLEASE.
I'M NOT PERFECT, YOU KNOW?
895
00:40:29,928 --> 00:40:31,096
- YEAH,
I'M FINDING THAT OUT.
896
00:40:31,129 --> 00:40:32,564
- WELL, GOD KNOWS,
I HAVE TRIED.
897
00:40:32,598 --> 00:40:33,999
EASTERN RELIGION,
MEDITATION, YOGA.
898
00:40:34,032 --> 00:40:35,567
YOU NAME IT,
I HAVE PRACTICED IT.
899
00:40:35,601 --> 00:40:38,470
HOPING TO ACHIEVE SOME...
STATE OF INNER HARMONY.
900
00:40:38,504 --> 00:40:41,707
[sighs and chuckles]
901
00:40:41,740 --> 00:40:42,974
AND THEN THIS HAPPENS,
AND I REALIZE
902
00:40:43,008 --> 00:40:45,511
THE ONLY THING
I HAVE ACHIEVED
903
00:40:45,544 --> 00:40:49,047
IS TO CONVINCE MYSELF
I BELIEVE ALL THIS BULLSHIT.
904
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:52,017
- IT'S NOT BULLSHIT.
905
00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:55,887
- I HURT YOU, MICHAEL.
906
00:40:58,524 --> 00:41:00,692
I HURT THE ONE PERSON
907
00:41:00,726 --> 00:41:03,829
WHO MEANS MORE TO ME
THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD,
908
00:41:03,862 --> 00:41:09,134
AND THERE'S NO EXCUSE
FOR IT.
909
00:41:09,167 --> 00:41:12,137
YOU KNOW, THERE'S
JUST NO EXCUSE AT ALL.
910
00:41:19,110 --> 00:41:20,879
- SURE THERE IS.
911
00:41:24,816 --> 00:41:26,952
YOU'RE HUMAN.
912
00:42:10,796 --> 00:42:13,765
[violin playing]
913
00:42:13,799 --> 00:42:21,773
*
914
00:42:58,677 --> 00:43:01,613
[indistinct chatter]
915
00:43:10,722 --> 00:43:13,925
- THOSE ARE NICE.
916
00:43:13,959 --> 00:43:14,960
- MM.
917
00:43:16,728 --> 00:43:18,129
- SHALL I WRAP THEM FOR YOU?
918
00:43:28,039 --> 00:43:30,275
- NO, THANKS.
919
00:43:48,727 --> 00:43:54,165
- * THE LANDSCAPE
OF YOUR HEART UNCHARTED *
920
00:43:54,199 --> 00:43:56,902
* TRAVEL BROCHURES
921
00:43:56,935 --> 00:43:59,137
* TUCKED IN YOUR POCKET
922
00:43:59,170 --> 00:44:02,340
* IN PERFECT DISGUISE
923
00:44:02,373 --> 00:44:07,713
* RIGHT THERE
IN FRONT OF YOU *
924
00:44:07,746 --> 00:44:10,415
* IN PLAIN SIGHT
925
00:44:10,448 --> 00:44:12,984
* YOU MIGHT AS WELL LOOK
926
00:44:13,018 --> 00:44:15,787
* SO CLOSE AT HAND
927
00:44:15,821 --> 00:44:18,857
* BUT YOU MOSTLY FLY OVER
928
00:44:18,890 --> 00:44:21,059
* YOU NEVER LAND
929
00:44:21,092 --> 00:44:24,295
* EVEN A SECOND THOUGHT
930
00:44:24,329 --> 00:44:29,835
* HIDING IN PERFECT DISGUISE
931
00:44:29,868 --> 00:44:32,738
* IN PLAIN SIGHT
932
00:44:32,771 --> 00:44:35,240
* FRIENDS AND RELATIONS
933
00:44:35,273 --> 00:44:37,442
* HAVE TRIED TO SAY
934
00:44:37,475 --> 00:44:40,145
* BUT YOU'LL HAVE NONE OF IT
935
00:44:40,178 --> 00:44:43,114
* BUT THE PROTEST
936
00:44:43,148 --> 00:44:45,350
* OH
937
00:44:45,383 --> 00:44:49,320
* 'CAUSE YOU KNOW
938
00:44:49,354 --> 00:44:54,860
* YOU KNOW BETTER
939
00:44:54,893 --> 00:44:59,731
* THE MOON SNEAKS UP
940
00:44:59,765 --> 00:45:04,302
* ON THE AFTERNOON
941
00:45:04,335 --> 00:45:07,472
* BUT YOU'VE LOOKED DOWN
942
00:45:07,505 --> 00:45:13,078
* SO LONG AT YOUR FEET
943
00:45:13,111 --> 00:45:15,380
*
944
00:45:15,413 --> 00:45:18,817
* AT YOUR FEET
945
00:45:18,850 --> 00:45:21,486
*
946
00:45:21,519 --> 00:45:26,758
* FOR SO LONG
947
00:45:26,792 --> 00:45:32,530
* AT YOUR FEET
948
00:45:32,563 --> 00:45:37,535
* SO LONG
949
00:45:37,568 --> 00:45:41,139
* IN PLAIN SIGHT
65343
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