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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,212 - * ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR 2 00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:13,147 * ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX * 3 00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:14,382 * SHAKE IT, DUDE 4 00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:22,390 * 5 00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:29,697 * ONE, TWO, DO IT 6 00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:32,100 * 7 00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,534 * ONE, TWO, THREE 8 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,303 - * FOUR, FOUR 9 00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:38,339 * 10 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:42,743 [dance music] 11 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:50,718 * 12 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,347 [both giggling] 13 00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:25,553 * 14 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,788 - WHOA-OH! HE'S TOO HOT TO BE A COASTER. 15 00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:30,324 - THAT'S THE MAGIC OF ECSTASY. EVERYBODY LOOKS GOOD. 16 00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:31,659 - GOOD? HE'S PRACTICALLY A SUPERHERO. 17 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:33,127 ALL HE NEEDS IS A SPANDEX BODYSUIT 18 00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:34,762 AND HE'S READY TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE. 19 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:36,530 - THERE. HOW'S THAT? 20 00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:38,632 - NOW HE JUST NEEDS AN INSIGNIA ON HIS CHEST. 21 00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:41,169 - A LIGHTNING BOLT? 22 00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:42,470 UH, AN ATOM? 23 00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:45,773 - AN "E." - [laughs] 24 00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:46,874 - "E"! 25 00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:48,209 - AND A MASK, OF COURSE. 26 00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:50,178 - OF COURSE! - [giggles] 27 00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,512 - OH! AND A CAPE? 28 00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:53,414 - CAPES ARE SO LAST CENTURY. 29 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,815 BUT HE DOES NEED A SUPERPOWER. 30 00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,217 HE WOULDN'T BE A SUPERHERO WITHOUT ONE. 31 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:57,618 - HOW ABOUT PARALYZING BEAMS 32 00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:00,688 THAT RADIATE FROM HIS DARK, SMOLDERING BEDROOM EYES? 33 00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:03,457 - OH, BETTER YET, THE DE-MATERIALIZER RAYS 34 00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,626 THAT SHOOT FROM THE MEGA-BLASTER 35 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,395 HE KEEPS CONCEALED IN HIS SUPER-SHORTS. 36 00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,663 - [laughs] 37 00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:13,634 - WHAT ARE YOU GIRLS ALL GIGGLY ABOUT? 38 00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,736 - OKAY. NO MORE DRUGS FOR YOU. - AH! 39 00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:17,738 - THEN HOW ABOUT ANOTHER ROUND OF DRINKS, ON ME? 40 00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:20,674 - WHAT'S THE OCCASION, YOUR ONE BILLIONTH REJECTION? 41 00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,243 - BETTER. 42 00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:23,377 THE NOMINATIONS FOR THE GAY PORN AWARDS 43 00:02:23,411 --> 00:02:25,713 WERE JUST ANNOUNCED, AND GUESS WHO'S BEING RECOGNIZED 44 00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:28,316 FOR HIS OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT? 45 00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:32,553 NONE OTHER THAN JERK@WORK'S VERY OWN FETCH DIXON. 46 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:33,554 - AH. - THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 47 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:34,688 - OH-HO, HEY! - AWESOME. 48 00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:36,190 - THAT'S SO GREAT. 49 00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:38,226 - WAIT TILL YOU TELL EMMETT, HE'LL BE SO EXCITED. 50 00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:40,861 - IT'S ALWAYS GRATIFYING TO BE RECOGNIZED FOR YOUR HARD WORK. 51 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,530 - AH. - AH, HE COULD REALLY USE IT. 52 00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:43,931 ESPECIALLY AFTER ALL HE'S BEEN THROUGH. 53 00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:45,699 - I CAN'T WAIT TO READ HIM THE OFFICIAL LETTER. 54 00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,368 "DEAR MR. SCHMIDT, 55 00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,837 "THE ACADEMY OF PORNOGRAPHIC ARTS AND SCIENCES 56 00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:51,839 "IS PLEASED TO INFORM YOU 57 00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:53,874 "THAT THE STAR OF YOUR PORN SITE, 58 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:57,478 "FETCH DIXON, HAS BEEN NOMINATED FOR THE COVETED 59 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:58,879 "CRYSTAL DICK AWARD 60 00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:04,685 AS INTERNET NEW-CUMMER OF THE YEAR." 61 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:06,620 WELL? 62 00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:09,423 ISN'T THIS FANTASTIC? 63 00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:12,260 - YEAH. IT'S VERY NICE. 64 00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:13,961 - NICE? YOU KNOW... 65 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,929 IT'S NOT EVERY DAY THAT SOMEONE GETS NOMINATED 66 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:16,930 FOR A CRYSTAL DICK. 67 00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,467 THAT'S HUGE. 68 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:20,768 - I SUPPOSE. 69 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,836 - ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. 70 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:26,307 I'LL HIRE A LIMO TO DRIVE US, OKAY? 71 00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:28,709 REALLY MAKE A EVENT OUT OF IT. 72 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,244 GO IN STYLE. 73 00:03:30,278 --> 00:03:32,580 - HMM. THANKS, TEDDY, I DON'T... 74 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:37,017 REALLY FEEL MUCH LIKE CELEBRATING. 75 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:40,754 - I KNOW, EM, BUT... 76 00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:43,023 IT'S THE GAY PORNO AWARDS! 77 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,525 [chuckles] YOU KNOW? 78 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:48,429 YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO GET OUT, HAVE SOME FUN. 79 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:49,530 - I DON'T KNOW. 80 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,733 MAYBE IF GEORGE WERE STILL HERE TO ENJOY IT WITH ME, 81 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:56,304 I MIGHT CONSIDER IT. 82 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:59,006 BESIDES, I STILL HAVE A LOT OF THINGS TO DO, YOU KNOW, 83 00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,541 AND... 84 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:03,577 LIKE, FIGURE OUT WHAT TO SAY AT HIS FUNERAL. 85 00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:05,313 - YOU PLAN ON SPEAKING? 86 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:08,015 - YEAH. 87 00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:10,518 I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW HOW WONDERFUL HE WAS, 88 00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:13,321 WHAT WE SHARED. 89 00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:18,992 BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, I STILL NEED TO SAY GOODBYE. 90 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:21,962 NEVER REALLY HAD THE CHANCE. 91 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:28,302 - WELL... 92 00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:32,306 THEN YOU SHOULD. 93 00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:36,610 [indistinct chatter] 94 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:41,415 - YOU TWO LOOK LIKE SHIT. 95 00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:42,950 - WHY DON'T YOU? 96 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:44,485 - E-MAN SAVED ME. 97 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,053 - [laughs] 98 00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,755 JESUS, YOU DIDN'T KEEP THAT? 99 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:50,758 - ARE YOU KIDDING? IT'S FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC. 100 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,826 - MUST BE THE DRUGS TALKING. 101 00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:55,696 - NO, IT'S ME, AND IT GOT ME THINKING. 102 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,631 - [scoffs] THAT'S ALWAYS A DANGEROUS SIGN. 103 00:04:57,665 --> 00:04:58,466 - DO YOU MIND? I'M TRYING TO HAVE 104 00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,934 A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND. 105 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,803 AFTER THEY KILLED OFF CAPTAIN ASTRO, 106 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,705 PEOPLE HAVE BEEN COMING INTO MY COMIC BOOK STORE 107 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:06,940 LOOKING FOR A GAY SUPERHERO, YOU KNOW, TO TAKE HIS PLACE, 108 00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,742 BUT HE DOESN'T EXIST. 109 00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:10,611 THAT'S WHEN IT CAME TO ME. 110 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,346 WHY WAIT FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO CREATE HIM? 111 00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:14,948 WHY DON'T WE JUST CREATE HIM OURSELVES? 112 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,417 - YOU MEAN, DO OUR OWN COMIC? 113 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,618 - WHY NOT? 114 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:20,388 - OKAY, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR MEDICATION. 115 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,823 - WHAT-- PEOPLE MAKE THEIR OWN FILMS, 116 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:25,092 THEY WRITE BOOKS AND SCREENPLAYS. 117 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,827 WHY IS IT SO CRAZY? 118 00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,796 - WELL FOR ONE THING, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT COMICS. 119 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:29,897 - I DO. IT'S MY BUSINESS. 120 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,365 I'VE BEEN READING THEM ALL MY LIFE. 121 00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:32,433 I COULD COME UP WITH A MILLION STORIES, 122 00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:33,801 EXCEPT I CAN'T DRAW FOR SHIT. 123 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,837 YOU CAN. 124 00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:42,610 - WOULD BE KIND OF COOL. 125 00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:46,780 - WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GET TOGETHER AND JUST BRAINSTORM? 126 00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:48,115 - YEAH. 127 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,551 I GUESS WE COULD GIVE IT A TRY. 128 00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,420 - FINALLY, YOU TWO BOYS WILL HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON 129 00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:53,454 BESIDES ME. 130 00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:54,722 AND WHAT A RELIEF 131 00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:58,659 NOT TO BE THE CENTER OF EVERYONE'S UNIVERSE. 132 00:05:58,692 --> 00:05:59,727 - [laughs] 133 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,829 [imitates flying whoosh, laser blast] 134 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,765 - [moans in agony] 135 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:07,435 - I GOT YOU. DON'T WORRY. 136 00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:09,002 OKAY, ONE MORE STEP. 137 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:12,172 OH, THAT'S IT. - [whines] 138 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,141 - ALL RIGHT. 139 00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:17,878 OKAY. 140 00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:20,180 OPEN YOUR EYES. 141 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,782 - WOW. 142 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,917 UH... WHAT AM I LOOKING AT? 143 00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:25,653 - [laughs] 144 00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:26,920 MY NEW STUDIO. 145 00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:29,122 OR AT LEAST THE WAY I'VE IMAGINED IT, SEE? 146 00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:30,624 I'VE MARKED WHERE EVERYTHING SHOULD BE-- 147 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:34,962 THE SINK, THE SHELVES... 148 00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:37,097 - OH. IS THAT-- IS THAT A SKYLIGHT? 149 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:38,732 - IT'LL GIVE THE PLACE A NICE, LIGHT, AIRY FEEL, 150 00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:39,600 DON'T YOU THINK? 151 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,602 - I THINK IT'LL GIVE OUR BANK ACCOUNT 152 00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,437 A NICE, LIGHT, AIRY FEEL TOO. 153 00:06:43,471 --> 00:06:44,572 - HEY, ANYBODY HERE? 154 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:47,908 - IN THE ATTIC! - THE STUDIO. 155 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,043 I KNOW MONEY'S AN ISSUE, 156 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,779 WHICH IS WHY I'VE DONE MY RESEARCH. 157 00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,447 I'VE PRICED ALL THE MATERIALS. 158 00:06:53,481 --> 00:06:54,548 - WHAT ABOUT THE PLUMBERS, 159 00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:56,183 ELECTRICIANS, CARPENTERS-- 160 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,685 UH, SKYLIGHT GUYS? 161 00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:59,052 - NEW FAN BELT'S HERE. 162 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,654 IF YOU CAN SPARE YOUR WHEELS, 163 00:07:00,688 --> 00:07:02,656 I'LL POP IT IN RIGHT NOW. 164 00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:03,791 [chuckles] 165 00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:06,527 WHOA. KILLER SPACE. 166 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,895 - IT'S GOING TO BE MY NEW STUDIO. 167 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:08,929 - COOL. 168 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:09,930 - LEEDS, YOU KNOW RENO. 169 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,465 CAN YOU PRICE THIS? 170 00:07:11,499 --> 00:07:14,468 - HMM. WELL... 171 00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:17,471 IF YOU USE A CONTRACTOR... 172 00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:19,139 MY GUESSTIMATE'S TEN. 173 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,141 BUT THEN, THEY ALWAYS SAY TO DOUBLE IT. 174 00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:22,209 - [whistle] 175 00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:23,811 THAT'S A SIZEABLE CHUNK OF CHANGE. 176 00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:24,945 TOO SIZEABLE. 177 00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:29,950 - UNLESS, OF COURSE, I DO IT FOR YOU. 178 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,218 - OH, WE COULDN'T POSSIBLY ASK THAT. 179 00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:32,986 - WHO'S ASKING? I'M OFFERING. 180 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:35,222 - YEAH, IT STILL SOUNDS LIKE IT'LL COST A BUNDLE. 181 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,224 - IT JUST SO HAPPENS THE DYKES I'M HOUSE-SITTING FOR 182 00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:38,892 ARE BACK FROM THEIR CLEANSING IN INDIA, 183 00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:40,861 AND THAT I'M GOING TO NEED A PLACE TO CRASH. 184 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:42,663 - AND WE HAVE A COUCH. 185 00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:45,165 - I GET A ROOF OVER MY HEAD, COMPLETE WITH SKYLIGHT, 186 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:48,769 AND IN EXCHANGE, YOU GET YOUR STUDIO. 187 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:54,508 - WELL, I THINK IT SOUNDS LIKE THE PERFECT SOLUTION. 188 00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:57,244 - EXCEPT, AS YOU KNOW, 189 00:07:57,277 --> 00:08:01,582 AN ARTIST'S STUDIO IS A PRIVATE, PERSONAL SPACE. 190 00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:04,117 I'D LIKE TO BE ABLE TO CREATE IT FOR MYSELF. 191 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:07,120 SO, THANK YOU FOR THE OFFER, LEDA, BUT... 192 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,590 NO, THANKS. 193 00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:14,928 - WELL, WHEN DO WE START ACCIDENTALLY LOSING FINGERS? 194 00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:16,564 - HOW ABOUT THIS? 195 00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:19,199 A YOUNG SCIENTIST IS DOING AN EXPERIMENT IN RADIATION 196 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:21,168 WHEN HE GETS-- - BITTEN BY A RADIOACTIVE BUG? 197 00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:23,270 - YEAH! - THAT'S SPIDER-MAN. 198 00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:26,239 - OH. 199 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,110 KING OF THE SEAS. HE BREATHES-- 200 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:32,012 - UNDERWATER. 201 00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:34,181 THAT'S AQUAMAN. 202 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:37,885 - ARGH! 203 00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,953 OKAY, I KNOW, I GOT IT. 204 00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:41,789 - HE'S SENT TO EARTH BY HIS PARENTS 205 00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:44,257 WHEN HE'S JUST A BABY RIGHT BEFORE HIS PLANET EXPLODES. 206 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,126 WHEN HE GETS HERE, HE DISCOVERS HE HAS ALL THESE SUPERPOWERS. 207 00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,896 - YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME. 208 00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:49,863 - WELL, THEN, YOU THINK OF SOMETHING. 209 00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,299 YOU'RE THE ONE WITH A MILLION GREAT IDEAS. 210 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:53,300 - WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, THEY'VE ALL 211 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,868 BEEN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT OF. 212 00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:55,969 - WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST FORGET IT. 213 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:59,072 - NO, IT-- IT'LL COME TO US, I KNOW. 214 00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:00,741 - WE'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR HOURS. 215 00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,710 - YOU CAN'T RUSH A BRILLIANT IDEA. 216 00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,044 - [scoffs] 217 00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,178 [sighs] 218 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:09,149 [treadmill beeping] 219 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:15,589 [footfalls] 220 00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,057 - YOU KNOW, WHOEVER OUR GUY IS, 221 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,225 HE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE 222 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,794 YOUR STANDARD SUPERHERO STEROID CASE. 223 00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:22,763 - IT'S HIS MIND THAT MAKES HIM SEXY. 224 00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:23,831 - IT'S HIS FIERCE INDIVIDUALISM... 225 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:24,932 - THAT GIVES HIM COURAGE. 226 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,000 - HIS UNCOMPROMISING MORAL CODE... 227 00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:28,802 - THAT MAKES HIM STRONG! 228 00:09:28,836 --> 00:09:30,203 - WHAT IF HIS DISGUISE 229 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:33,073 IS THAT HE'S A COLD-HEARTED AD EXEC BY DAY... 230 00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:35,976 - DEFENDER OF QUEERS BY NIGHT. - [laughs] 231 00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,078 - NOW, ALL WE NEED IS A NAME. 232 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:40,781 - OKAY. 233 00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:41,782 [smack] 234 00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:42,916 - FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! 235 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:43,917 [clatter] 236 00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:46,386 [both laugh] 237 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:49,589 - THE FURY? - PISSED-OFF MAN. 238 00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:54,828 - RAGE. 239 00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:56,163 - * MY LOVE IS DEEP 240 00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:58,966 - IT'S GENIUS! 241 00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:01,969 [funky music] 242 00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,671 * 243 00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:04,972 - ONCE YOU'VE CLEARED THIS, 244 00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:06,373 YOU CAN WORK ON THOSE PIECES OVER THERE. 245 00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:10,110 - YES, SIR. 246 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,845 - MR. HONEYCUTT, 247 00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:16,684 PLEASE ACCEPT MY MOST SINCERE CONDOLENCES. 248 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,986 - THANK YOU, JONATHAN. AND MINE TO YOU. 249 00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:20,721 I, UH-- I CAN'T IMAGINE 250 00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,656 HOW GEORGE WILL MANAGE UP THERE WITHOUT YOU. 251 00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:25,258 - HE'S IN FAR MORE CAPABLE HANDS NOW. 252 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,394 I EXPECT YOU'VE COME FOR YOUR THINGS. 253 00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:28,862 ALLOW ME TO GET THEM FOR YOU. 254 00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:31,431 - ACTUALLY, I'D PREFER TO DO IT MYSELF. 255 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:35,135 I'D, UH--I'D LIKE TO BE IN HIS ROOM ONE LAST TIME. 256 00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,738 AND, UH--AND I WAS KIND OF HOPING TO, UH, 257 00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:40,040 TAKE A LITTLE SOMETHING TO REMEMBER HIM BY: 258 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:43,010 HIS, UH, HIS SNUGGLY OLD RED CARDIGAN. 259 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:47,848 - JONATHAN, GO GET MR. SCHICKEL'S SWEATER. 260 00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:56,123 - I'M SO SORRY, MRS. SCHICKEL. 261 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,992 I KNOW GEORGE'S PASSING MUST BE A TREMENDOUS LOSS. 262 00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:03,864 - I DON'T KNOW HOW I'LL MANAGE TO FILL THE VOID. 263 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:07,034 CAREFUL WITH THAT. IT'S VERY VALUABLE. 264 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:11,872 - I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND A WAY. 265 00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:14,775 - NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, THERE'S SO MUCH I HAVE TO DO. 266 00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:16,143 - I CAN IMAGINE. 267 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,711 BACK HOME, WHEN SOMEONE PASSED AWAY, 268 00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:20,113 MY MOTHER AND AUNT LULAH WERE COOKING FOR DAYS. 269 00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,716 - COOKING? 270 00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:24,417 - W-WELL, INSTEAD OF MAKING THE FUNERAL 271 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:26,053 INTO A MOURNFUL OCCASION, 272 00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:28,221 WE TRIED TO TURN IT INTO A CELEBRATION 273 00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:30,323 OF OUR LOVED ONE'S LIFE. 274 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,927 THAT'S, UH, THAT'S WHAT I PLAN TO DO AT GEORGE'S SERVICE. 275 00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:38,932 - WELL, THAT'S VERY SWEET, BUT REALLY, IT'S NOT NECESSARY. 276 00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:40,801 - IT'S NECESSARY FOR ME. 277 00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,836 - WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, THERE WON'T BE TIME. 278 00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:47,040 YOU SEE, GEORGE WAS A VERY IMPORTANT MAN. 279 00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:50,343 THERE'LL BE MANY... PROMINENT SPEAKERS TOMORROW, 280 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:56,116 CEOs, POLITICAL AND SPIRITUAL LEADERS. 281 00:11:56,149 --> 00:12:00,120 OH, HERE'S THE SWEATER YOU REQUESTED. 282 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:06,960 TAKE IT, ALONG WITH YOUR MEMORIES. 283 00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:10,964 I'M SURE THEY'LL GIVE YOU GREAT COMFORT. 284 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,549 - I WANT HIM TO HAVE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LOOK, 285 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,351 LIKE NO ONE'S EVER SEEN BEFORE. 286 00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:32,986 - AND DIFFERENT STORIES, YOU KNOW? 287 00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:34,888 NOT JUST THE SAME OLD STUFF YOU SEE IN STRAIGHT COMICS. 288 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:37,124 YOU KNOW, OUR GUY'S GAY. HE LIVES IN A GAY WORLD. 289 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,859 - HE HAS GAY SEX. 290 00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:41,261 - AND WITH HIS SUPERPOWERS, PLENTY OF IT. 291 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,964 - SO, WHAT KIND OF STORIES? 292 00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:46,399 - WELL, THERE WAS THIS ONE STORY I WAS THINKING ABOUT, BUT... 293 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,301 - WHAT? - NEVER MIND. 294 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,370 - WELL, COME ON, TELL ME. 295 00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:52,572 WE'RE PARTNERS NOW. 296 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:53,573 WE GOTTA SHARE WHAT'S ON OUR MINDS, 297 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,810 IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW DUMB. 298 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,414 - [clears throat] 299 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:04,417 I WAS THINKING RAGE COULD SAVE THIS KID'S LIFE... 300 00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:07,420 AFTER HE'S BASHED. 301 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,159 SEE, I TOLD YOU IT WAS A DUMB IDEA. 302 00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:14,027 I NEVER SHOULD'VE BROUGHT IT UP. I'M SORRY. 303 00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:16,463 - I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA. 304 00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:19,867 - YOU DO? 305 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,534 I MEAN, IT'S AWFULLY PERSONAL. 306 00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:24,004 - WELL, THE BEST ART USUALLY IS. 307 00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:26,073 BESIDES, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. 308 00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:27,540 TROUBLE IS, NO ONE SEEMS TO WANT TO LISTEN. 309 00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:31,278 I MEAN, THEY WANT TO PRETEND IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. 310 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,213 - WELL, NOW'S YOUR CHANCE. 311 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:36,950 - AND IT COULD BE HOW RAGE MEETS THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE. 312 00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:38,451 - I THOUGHT RAGE DIDN'T BELIEVE IN LOVE. 313 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,020 - HA! 314 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,321 WE'LL LET HIM THINK THAT. 315 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,323 - [laughs] 316 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:46,626 [sultry music] 317 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:49,462 - * HEY, EVERYTHING YOU DO 318 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:53,066 * MAKES ME FEEL SOMETHING NEW * 319 00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:56,469 * HEY, EVERYTHING YOU DO 320 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:59,439 [door sliding shut] 321 00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:02,175 - YOU'RE UP. 322 00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:04,211 - LOOK AGAIN. 323 00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:06,947 AND YOU'RE LATE. IT'S AFTER 3:00. 324 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:08,348 - IT DOESN'T COUNT. I WAS WITH MICHAEL. 325 00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,150 - ALL FUCKING NIGHT? 326 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,384 - IT FELT LIKE FIVE MINUTES. 327 00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:13,120 AND THE STUFF WE CAME UP WITH IS AMAZING. 328 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,621 IT'S LIKE WE SHARE THE SAME BRAIN. 329 00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:17,024 - YOU GET IT MONDAY, WEDNESDAY, AND FRIDAY, 330 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:18,358 AND HE GETS IT TUESDAY AND THURSDAY? 331 00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:19,492 - HA. 332 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:20,961 - WHAT'S THAT? 333 00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,362 - OH, IT'S RESEARCH. 334 00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,231 MICHAEL WANTS ME TO STUDY THE ILLUSTRATIONS, 335 00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:28,101 TO SOAK IT ALL IN. 336 00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:30,370 CHECK OUT THIS ONE. 337 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:33,073 - COME OVER HERE. 338 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:55,662 [phone rings] 339 00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:57,965 [scoffs] 340 00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:00,400 [beep] 341 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:01,568 WHAT? 342 00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:02,936 - PUT JUSTIN ON, QUICK. 343 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,704 - IT'S FUCKING 4:00 IN THE MORNING. 344 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,174 - CREATIVITY DOESN'T PUNCH A TIME-CLOCK. 345 00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:10,277 - OH, MY GOD, THAT IS SO PROFOUND. 346 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:14,447 CAN YOU HOLD ON A MINUTE WHILE I WRITE IT DOWN? 347 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:15,682 - YOU FREAK. 348 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:17,317 - I JUST GOT THIS IDEA AND I COULDN'T WAIT. 349 00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:18,551 - WHAT? QUICK, TELL ME. 350 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,353 - MAYBE WE COULD HAVE, LIKE, A CHIROPRACTOR AS A VILLAIN-- 351 00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:22,555 - WHAT-- - NIGHTY-NIGHT, MIKEY. 352 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:25,192 [beep] 353 00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:27,594 - THAT WAS IMPORTANT. 354 00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:30,597 - SO IS THIS. 355 00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:06,633 - [grunts] 356 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:10,437 MMM. [groans] 357 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,173 THAT FEELS... 358 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:17,044 GOOD. 359 00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:35,728 [light snoring] 360 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,778 - [sighs] 361 00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:55,348 - I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING MORE REWARDING AND RELAXING 362 00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:57,050 THAN RENOVATING AN OLD ATTIC. 363 00:16:57,084 --> 00:16:58,685 AND IT'S SO SIMPLE. 364 00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:02,355 YOU JUST NEED A FEW TOOLS AND SOME WELL-CHOSEN MATERIALS, 365 00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:05,325 AND IN NO TIME, THAT EMPTY SPACE WILL BE TRANSFORMED 366 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,127 INTO A COZY LIVING AREA 367 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,728 THAT IS SURE TO BE ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE PLACES 368 00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,063 IN THE HOUSE. 369 00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:11,464 I KNOW MINE IS. 370 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,533 AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY, IT'LL BE... 371 00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:15,268 [snaps fingers] A SNAP. 372 00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:16,536 - WHO'S THIS CRAZY BITCH? 373 00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,071 - IT'S A REMODELING VIDEO. 374 00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:19,406 - THE SALESPERSON AT THE HARDWARE STORE 375 00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:22,575 SAID TO FOLLOW ALONG AND DO EXACTLY AS SHE DOES. 376 00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:24,677 - WELL, THEN, YOU'VE ALREADY FUCKED UP. 377 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:25,778 - HOW'S THAT? 378 00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:31,084 - YOU'RE NOT WEARING PEARLS. 379 00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:34,687 - LET'S MEASURE OUR PLYWOOD LENGTHWISE. 380 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,289 HERE'S A TIP THAT I JUST LOVE-- 381 00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:39,159 I ALWAYS KEEP A TAPE MEASURE ON MY KEY CHAIN. 382 00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,460 THAT WAY, IF ANYTHING REQUIRES... 383 00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:41,828 - UH, 'SCUSE ME, GIRLS? 384 00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:43,163 - HUH? 385 00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:44,264 - THAT'S THE WRONG WAY. 386 00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:45,698 - WHAT DO YOU KNOW? 387 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:49,836 - WHEN IT COMES TO MEASURING WOOD, I'M AN EXPERT. 388 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:53,072 - YEAH, OKAY. 389 00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:58,745 AH. SEE HOW EASY THIS IS? 390 00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:03,150 I TOLD YOU WE DON'T NEED LEDA. 391 00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,717 - DO I DETECT A NOTE OF JEALOUSY? 392 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,819 - OF LEDA? [laughs] 393 00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:09,122 NO, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. 394 00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:11,491 - WELL, THEN WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU LET HER HELP YOU OUT? 395 00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:13,860 - THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW. - I ALREADY TOLD YOU. 396 00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:16,196 WE CAN DO IT OURSELVES. - "WE CAN DO IT OURSELVES." 397 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:17,730 - [scoffs] 398 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,667 - THERE, SEE HOW EASILY THE PLYWOOD CUTS? 399 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,202 THAT NICE, CLEAN EDGE. 400 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,204 AND NEVER LET SAWDUST GO TO WASTE. 401 00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:27,340 I COLLECT UP EVERY PARTICLE AND STORE IT IN THE FREEZER. 402 00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,409 IN THE SPRING, I'LL MIX IT WITH FRESH SOIL 403 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,611 AND HAVE AN INTERESTING AND INEXPENSIVE MULCH 404 00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:32,612 FOR MY GARDEN. 405 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:33,680 [saw whirs] - [screams] 406 00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:35,182 HEY, HEY, WHOA! 407 00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:36,149 HEY, WATCH WHERE YOU POINT THAT THING. 408 00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,918 - YES, YES! - WHAT KIND OF A DYKE ARE YOU? 409 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,487 YOU CAN'T EVEN HANDLE A POWER TOOL? 410 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,689 - OH, GO AWAY AND PLAY WITH YOUR SON. 411 00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:44,324 - WHILE YOU'VE STILL GOT YOUR LEGS. 412 00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:45,725 - YEAH, YEAH. 413 00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:47,527 DON'T WE PUT IT OVER THERE? 414 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,662 - GO WITH THE LINES. WE MARKED IT ALREADY. 415 00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:52,232 - [snaps fingers] IT'S A SNAP. 416 00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:54,934 - GEORGE LOVED HIS CITY. 417 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,636 HE LOVED HIS COMPANY. 418 00:18:56,669 --> 00:19:00,307 BUT MOST OF ALL, HE LOVED HIS FAMILY. 419 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,908 I'M REMINDED OF A STORY THAT HE 420 00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:05,778 AND HIS DEVOTED WIFE, VIRGINIA, ONCE RELAYED TO ME. 421 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,915 ONE DAY, THEIR DAUGHTER FRANKIE CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL, 422 00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:11,518 UPSET TO HAVE LEARNED OF HUNGRY CHILDREN, 423 00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:12,952 VICTIMS OF AN EARTHQUAKE IN SOUTH AMERICA... 424 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,422 - THIS IS SOME EVENT. 425 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,390 EVERYBODY WHO'S ANYBODY'S HERE. 426 00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:19,392 - YEAH, EVERYBODY WHO DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH GEORGE 427 00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:21,294 WHEN HE WAS ALIVE. 428 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:23,530 ALL THE MORE REASON I'M GLAD I CAME. 429 00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:24,797 LET'S FIND A SEAT. 430 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,866 - A FAMILY MAN CARING FOR FAMILIES. 431 00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:30,770 THAT'S WHAT GEORGE SCHICKEL WAS ALL ABOUT. 432 00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:34,741 AND I, FOR ONE, WILL MISS HIM DEEPLY. 433 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:41,414 - WE'VE HEARD MANY TRIBUTES TO GEORGE SCHICKEL 434 00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:43,383 THIS AFTERNOON. 435 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:46,553 IT'S OBVIOUS THAT THIS MUCH BELOVED MAN 436 00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:49,256 NOT ONLY BROUGHT NOURISHMENT TO THE WORLD... 437 00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:50,189 - GO ON. 438 00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:51,624 - THROUGH THE PICKLE THE PEOPLE PREFER... 439 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:52,425 - NOW'S YOUR CHANCE. 440 00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:54,294 - BUT ALSO EMOTIONAL NOURISHMENT... 441 00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,094 - JUST DO IT. 442 00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:58,298 - TO HIS FAMILY, TO HIS COMMUNITY, 443 00:19:58,331 --> 00:19:59,732 INDEED TO ALL OF PITTSBURGH. 444 00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:02,302 - UM, I'D LIKE TO SAY SOMETHING. 445 00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:06,439 [crowd murmuring] 446 00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,778 - SORRY, SIR, IT'S FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY ONLY. 447 00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:15,415 - I AM A FRIEND. I'M MORE THAN A FRIEND. 448 00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:17,284 T-TAKE YOUR-- LET GO OF ME! 449 00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:18,084 - OKAY, ALL RIGHT, LOOK, ALL RIGHT, 450 00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:19,952 JUST TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF OF HIM! 451 00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:21,454 LEAVE HIM ALONE. - TEDDY! 452 00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:24,291 - JUST TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF OF HIM! 453 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:27,727 - WILL EVERYONE PLEASE RISE FOR THE 23rd PSALM? 454 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,363 - * EVERY DAY'S A PARTY 455 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,732 * EVERY DAY'S A PARTY 456 00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,967 * EVERY DAY'S A PARTY 457 00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:37,770 * GOTTA PARTY EVERY DAY 458 00:20:37,804 --> 00:20:40,440 * EVERY DAY'S A PARTY 459 00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:42,809 * EVERY DAY'S A PARTY 460 00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:45,044 * EVERY DAY'S A PARTY 461 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,279 * GOTTA PARTY EVERY DAY 462 00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:47,847 - ALL RIGHT. 463 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,349 GOOD--WAIT. THAT'S REALLY GOOD. 464 00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:51,951 COULD YOU MAKE HIS JAW A LITTLE WIDER? 465 00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:53,453 [laughs] 466 00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:54,854 THAT'S PERFECT. IT LOOKS JUST LIKE-- 467 00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:58,325 - EXCUSE ME, HAS ANYONE SEEN MY FUCKING FLOOR? 468 00:20:58,358 --> 00:20:59,892 - UH-OH! DON'T GET HIM MAD. 469 00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,828 - YEAH, OR HE'LL EMIT HIS TELEKINETIC DEATH STARE 470 00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:03,029 AND MAKE YOUR HEAD EXPLODE. 471 00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:05,064 - [chuckles] 472 00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,499 THAT'S ONE OF HIS POWERS. 473 00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:07,900 HE CAN CONTROL YOUR MIND WHENEVER HE WANTS. 474 00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:13,640 - YEAH, WELL, WHAT I WANT IS MY LOFT. 475 00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:15,542 - WAIT, DON'T TOUCH THOSE. - HEY, THOSE ARE IN SEQUENCE! 476 00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:16,743 DON'T WALK THAT WAY. 477 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,745 - WELL, HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GET TO MY BEDROOM? 478 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,313 - GO AROUND. - YEAH. 479 00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:21,781 - UH-HUH. 480 00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:24,951 HEY! 481 00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:26,919 - [sighs] 482 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:29,055 SO HERE IS WHERE ZEPHYR TRIES TO STOP RAGE 483 00:21:29,088 --> 00:21:30,657 FROM USING HIS HETERO-BLASTER. 484 00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:32,725 DO YOU THINK ZEPHYR COULD BE A LITTLE TALLER 485 00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:34,427 AND HAVE BIGGER PECS? 486 00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:35,862 - WHAT FOR? 487 00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:37,530 - WELL, HE IS RAGE'S BEST FRIEND. 488 00:21:37,564 --> 00:21:40,032 HE'S--HE SHOULD LOOK ALMOST AS GOOD. 489 00:21:40,066 --> 00:21:42,469 - YOU GOT IT, ZEPH. 490 00:21:42,502 --> 00:21:43,770 - YOU KNOW, SPEAKING OF PECS, 491 00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:46,406 IT'S "CHEST OF DEATH" NIGHT AT BABYLON. 492 00:21:46,439 --> 00:21:48,741 - MM-HMM. - OKAY. 493 00:21:48,775 --> 00:21:50,109 - SO GET READY. 494 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:51,844 - WE GOTTA FINISH THIS FIRST. 495 00:21:51,878 --> 00:21:54,013 - WE'LL MEET YOU THERE. 496 00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:55,815 - WELL, JUST REMEMBER, ALL WORK AND NO DICK 497 00:21:55,848 --> 00:21:59,018 MAKE MIKEY AND SUNSHINE DULL BOYS. 498 00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:00,587 [cheers and applause] 499 00:22:00,620 --> 00:22:02,088 - BRING IT DOWN, BRING IT DOWN, BRING IT DOWN. 500 00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:06,493 OKAY, WE'RE DOWN TO OUR SIX FINALISTS. 501 00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:10,430 WHO'S THE MAN WITH THE HOTTEST PECS IN PITTSBURGH? 502 00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:12,599 OOH. HONEY, 503 00:22:12,632 --> 00:22:15,568 ARE THOSE NIPPLES OR BATHTUB STOPPERS? 504 00:22:15,602 --> 00:22:17,804 [laughter] 505 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,105 ALL RIGHT, BOYS. 506 00:22:19,138 --> 00:22:21,107 COME ON, NOW, LET'S MAKE SOME NOISE! 507 00:22:21,140 --> 00:22:23,376 LET'S HEAR IT, BABYLON. LET'S HEAR IT. 508 00:22:23,410 --> 00:22:24,544 THAT'S IT, YOU KNOW HOW. 509 00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:26,713 [cheers and applause] 510 00:22:26,746 --> 00:22:29,449 - TO BE THROWN OUT, LIKE SO MUCH GARBAGE. 511 00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:30,550 - I KNOW, IT WAS AWFUL. 512 00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:33,586 - BY THOSE TWO HUGE, BRUTAL MONSTERS. 513 00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:37,924 - UNDER OTHER CIRCUMSTANCES, IT MIGHT'VE BEEN HOT. 514 00:22:37,957 --> 00:22:41,594 - GUESS I'LL NEVER GET TO SAY MY SPEECH NOW. 515 00:22:41,628 --> 00:22:44,130 - YOU CAN SAY IT TO ME. 516 00:22:44,163 --> 00:22:46,766 I'LL LISTEN. 517 00:22:46,799 --> 00:22:50,470 - THANKS, TEDDY, I-- 518 00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:54,040 WOULDN'T BE THE SAME. 519 00:22:54,073 --> 00:22:56,108 - EM... 520 00:22:56,142 --> 00:22:58,778 - SOMETHING TELLS ME WE'VE BEEN STOOD UP. 521 00:22:58,811 --> 00:23:01,948 - OVER A COMIC BOOK. 522 00:23:01,981 --> 00:23:05,485 - MORE THAN JUST A COMIC BOOK. 523 00:23:05,518 --> 00:23:08,588 THERE'S NOTHING AS SEXUAL AS THE ACT OF CREATION. 524 00:23:08,621 --> 00:23:10,957 WHEN I--WHEN I'M WRITING, AND IT'S-- 525 00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:13,059 IT'S POURING OUT OF ME, 526 00:23:13,092 --> 00:23:15,828 I SWEAR TO GOD, I'M LIKE, COMPLETELY TURNED ON. 527 00:23:15,862 --> 00:23:18,164 SOMETIMES, I EVEN GET A HARD-ON. 528 00:23:18,197 --> 00:23:20,633 - IS THAT WHAT THEY MEAN BY "STROKE OF GENIUS"? 529 00:23:20,667 --> 00:23:23,803 - IT'S THE FUCKING GREATEST ORGASM THERE IS. 530 00:23:23,836 --> 00:23:25,738 - YOU HAVE YOUR ORGASMS BETWEEN THE PAGES, 531 00:23:25,772 --> 00:23:27,073 I'LL HAVE MINE BETWEEN THE SHEETS. 532 00:23:27,106 --> 00:23:28,675 - NUMBER FIVE, 533 00:23:28,708 --> 00:23:31,210 DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING YOU'D LIKE TO GET OFF YOUR CHEST? 534 00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:32,645 HOW ABOUT ME? 535 00:23:32,679 --> 00:23:35,615 [laughter] 536 00:23:35,648 --> 00:23:37,650 - I BET IT'S THE SAME WITH MICHAEL AND JUSTIN. 537 00:23:37,684 --> 00:23:39,085 - CAN I HEAR A LITTLE NOISE FROM OVER HERE? 538 00:23:39,118 --> 00:23:40,086 - WHAT THEY'RE SHARING 539 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:44,524 IS THE MOST INTENSE FORM OF INTIMACY THERE IS. 540 00:23:44,557 --> 00:23:45,925 NOTHING, NOT EVEN THE HOTTEST FUCK IN THE WORLD, 541 00:23:45,958 --> 00:23:47,594 CAN COME CLOSE. 542 00:23:47,627 --> 00:23:50,630 - OKAY, NOW... SWEETIE... 543 00:23:50,663 --> 00:23:53,065 - SO HOW ABOUT ANOTHER DRINK, 544 00:23:53,099 --> 00:23:54,901 WHILE OUR BOYFRIENDS ARE CHEATING ON US. 545 00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:56,803 - WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE HIM TALK, DON'T WORRY. 546 00:23:56,836 --> 00:23:58,938 NOW, COME ON, BOYS. NOW LET'S MAKE SOME NOISE. 547 00:23:58,971 --> 00:24:01,741 COME ON, BABYLON. TAKE IT UP, COME ON. 548 00:24:01,774 --> 00:24:03,510 THAT'S IT, BRING IT UP. 549 00:24:03,543 --> 00:24:04,977 - SEE? 550 00:24:05,011 --> 00:24:07,614 I TOLD YOU WE COULD DO IT. 551 00:24:07,647 --> 00:24:09,616 - YEAH, WE DID IT ALL RIGHT. 552 00:24:09,649 --> 00:24:10,783 IT'S A MESS. 553 00:24:10,817 --> 00:24:12,251 - IT'S NOT SO BAD. 554 00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:13,953 AFTER WE PLASTER IT OVER, 555 00:24:13,986 --> 00:24:17,857 THE FEW LITTLE IMPERFECTIONS WON'T EVEN SHOW. 556 00:24:20,727 --> 00:24:23,663 [clears throat] 557 00:24:24,864 --> 00:24:26,599 - INSTALLING YOUR NEW SINK WILL BE... 558 00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:27,734 [snaps fingers] A SNAP. 559 00:24:27,767 --> 00:24:29,836 - EVERYTHING WITH THIS BITCH IS A SNAP. 560 00:24:29,869 --> 00:24:31,270 - WE'VE ALREADY ATTACHED IT TO THE WALL, 561 00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:33,005 AND IT ONLY TOOK 20 MINUTES. 562 00:24:33,039 --> 00:24:35,107 - TRY 7 HOURS AND 20 MINUTES. 563 00:24:35,141 --> 00:24:38,878 - NOW, LET'S CONNECT THE SINK TO OUR PIPES. 564 00:24:38,911 --> 00:24:40,246 - TAKE YOUR WRENCH... GOT IT. 565 00:24:40,279 --> 00:24:42,682 - AND IN A STRONG, CIRCULAR MOTION, 566 00:24:42,715 --> 00:24:45,752 TWIST THE END OF THE PIPE, LIKE SO. 567 00:24:45,785 --> 00:24:48,154 THAT'S IT. GIVE IT A NICE STRONG GRIP. 568 00:24:48,187 --> 00:24:52,525 YOU'LL FIND THIS-- - MEL, CAN YOU HELP ME OUT HERE? 569 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,563 - NOW WE CAN ATTACH OUR PIPES. 570 00:24:56,596 --> 00:24:58,931 IT'S A SNAP. - [ grunts] 571 00:24:58,965 --> 00:25:00,700 [both screaming] 572 00:25:00,733 --> 00:25:03,670 - LUCKILY, WE TURNED OFF THE WATER MAIN FIRST, 573 00:25:03,703 --> 00:25:06,005 OR WE'D HAVE A DISASTER ON OUR HANDS. 574 00:25:06,038 --> 00:25:07,273 - DIDN'T YOU TURN OFF THE WATER? 575 00:25:07,306 --> 00:25:09,108 - I WAS GOING TO, 576 00:25:09,141 --> 00:25:11,143 BUT THEN YOU SAID, "NO, I'LL TURN IT OFF." 577 00:25:11,177 --> 00:25:12,912 - NO, THAT WAS THE POWER. 578 00:25:12,945 --> 00:25:15,014 I TURNED OFF THE POWER WHEN I DID THE WIRING. 579 00:25:15,047 --> 00:25:19,986 - YOU MEAN, WHEN YOU BLEW OUT THE FUSES! 580 00:25:20,019 --> 00:25:23,189 - THERE, NOW YOU HAVE RUNNING WATER IN YOUR ATTIC. 581 00:25:30,963 --> 00:25:34,634 - COME ON IN. 582 00:25:34,667 --> 00:25:36,703 WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A LITTLE CONTEST OF OUR OWN. 583 00:25:36,736 --> 00:25:38,304 - SOME POWER PECS? 584 00:25:38,337 --> 00:25:39,606 - POWER PECKERS. 585 00:25:39,639 --> 00:25:41,140 - [laughs] 586 00:25:41,173 --> 00:25:42,809 - CAREFUL, DON'T-- DON'T STEP ON ANYTHING. 587 00:25:42,842 --> 00:25:46,813 IT--IT'S ALL IN SEQUENCE. 588 00:25:49,215 --> 00:25:53,185 RISE AND SHINE, SUNSHINE. 589 00:26:03,329 --> 00:26:06,332 SHIT. 590 00:26:06,365 --> 00:26:08,935 - GO DOWN, GO DOWN. YEAH. 591 00:26:08,968 --> 00:26:10,236 MM-HMM, THAT'S RIGHT. 592 00:26:10,269 --> 00:26:11,671 - PARTY'S OVER. 593 00:26:11,704 --> 00:26:13,372 - COME ON, JOIN US. - THE PARTY'S OVER. 594 00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:15,207 GET YOUR CLOTHES ON. PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON! 595 00:26:15,241 --> 00:26:16,308 - WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK? 596 00:26:16,342 --> 00:26:18,978 - JUST GET OUT, OKAY? 597 00:26:19,011 --> 00:26:20,613 GET OUT! 598 00:26:20,647 --> 00:26:23,616 GO! - FUCK YOU. 599 00:26:23,650 --> 00:26:26,619 [intense music] 600 00:26:26,653 --> 00:26:28,688 * 601 00:26:28,721 --> 00:26:30,189 FUCK, FUCK! 602 00:26:30,222 --> 00:26:38,164 * 603 00:27:03,155 --> 00:27:04,957 [relieved sigh] 604 00:27:04,991 --> 00:27:09,729 * 605 00:27:09,762 --> 00:27:11,430 [laughs] FUCK. 606 00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:15,301 * 607 00:27:15,334 --> 00:27:17,303 [relieved sigh] 608 00:27:17,336 --> 00:27:21,007 * 609 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,009 - [sighs] 610 00:27:36,355 --> 00:27:39,726 [sighs] 611 00:27:39,759 --> 00:27:42,261 - WHAT THE FUCK? 612 00:27:42,294 --> 00:27:43,963 - I THOUGHT YOU WERE BEN. 613 00:27:43,996 --> 00:27:46,766 - I THOUGHT YOU WERE BRIAN. 614 00:27:46,799 --> 00:27:50,903 - I GUESS WE FELL ASLEEP. - YEAH. 615 00:27:50,937 --> 00:27:52,939 BRIAN? 616 00:27:52,972 --> 00:27:56,776 - HE MUST'VE SLEPT ON THE COUCH. 617 00:28:00,279 --> 00:28:03,382 - MICHAEL. 618 00:28:09,088 --> 00:28:12,058 - HOLY SHIT! 619 00:28:29,375 --> 00:28:30,442 DID YOU DO THIS? 620 00:28:30,476 --> 00:28:32,779 - DID YOU? 621 00:28:32,812 --> 00:28:35,948 - ANSWER US. 622 00:28:35,982 --> 00:28:38,050 - YOU ARE TOTALLY FUCKED. 623 00:28:38,084 --> 00:28:40,319 - HOW DARE YOU PISS ON OUR WORK? 624 00:28:40,352 --> 00:28:41,520 - DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA 625 00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:43,222 THE HOURS THAT WE PUT INTO THAT? 626 00:28:43,255 --> 00:28:44,857 - WE WANT AN EXPLANATION. 627 00:28:44,891 --> 00:28:48,227 - BESIDES THE FACT THAT YOU'RE THE WORLD'S BIGGEST PRICK. 628 00:28:48,260 --> 00:28:49,528 - WELL, DON'T JUST SIT THERE! 629 00:28:49,561 --> 00:28:52,731 - SAY SOMETHING. 630 00:28:59,939 --> 00:29:02,809 - COME ON, LET'S GO. 631 00:29:02,842 --> 00:29:04,977 ONE LAST THING. 632 00:29:05,011 --> 00:29:08,147 YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S PATHETIC. 633 00:29:14,553 --> 00:29:16,055 - GIVE ME A MINUTE BETWEEN ROUNDS, 634 00:29:16,088 --> 00:29:18,124 THEN YOU CAN HAVE A GO AT ME. 635 00:29:18,157 --> 00:29:20,960 - ARTICLE 14 OF THE SUPER-MOM HANDBOOK 636 00:29:20,993 --> 00:29:23,129 SAYS NO KICKING ASSHOLES WHEN THEY'RE DOWN. 637 00:29:23,162 --> 00:29:25,965 THEY'D TAKE AWAY MY HALO. 638 00:29:25,998 --> 00:29:28,467 - I'M NOT AN ASSHOLE, I'M JUST DRAWN THAT WAY. 639 00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:30,169 - WELL, I'M SORRY TO DISAGREE WITH YOU, KIDDO, 640 00:29:30,202 --> 00:29:32,238 BUT THIS TIME, THE LIKENESS IS ACCURATE. 641 00:29:32,271 --> 00:29:33,840 - I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T GOING TO BEAT ME UP. 642 00:29:33,873 --> 00:29:36,042 - LET ME FINISH. 643 00:29:36,075 --> 00:29:39,345 BUT I UNDERSTAND. 644 00:29:39,378 --> 00:29:41,113 'CAUSE YOU'RE JEALOUS. 645 00:29:41,147 --> 00:29:44,116 - I DON'T DO JEALOUS. JEALOUS IS FOR LESBIANS. 646 00:29:44,150 --> 00:29:46,886 - WELL, THEN, YOU'D BETTER START LIKING PUSSY, 647 00:29:46,919 --> 00:29:49,021 'CAUSE YOU GOT A LITTLE GREEN-EYED MONSTER INSIDE YOU 648 00:29:49,055 --> 00:29:50,356 THAT IS EATING YOUR GUT. 649 00:29:50,389 --> 00:29:52,024 - YOU MEAN THAT'S NOT THE COFFEE? 650 00:29:52,058 --> 00:29:53,559 - [chuckles] 651 00:29:53,592 --> 00:29:55,427 I FIGURED YOU'D HAVE SOME SMART-ASS REMARK 652 00:29:55,461 --> 00:29:57,997 AND DENY YOUR FEELINGS AS ALWAYS. 653 00:29:58,030 --> 00:30:01,300 BUT YOU DON'T FOOL ME. 654 00:30:01,333 --> 00:30:03,202 'CAUSE IF YOU DIDN'T LOVE THEM AS MUCH AS YOU DO, 655 00:30:03,235 --> 00:30:05,137 YOU WOULDN'T GIVE A SHIT 656 00:30:05,171 --> 00:30:06,538 THAT THEY'RE SPENDING TIME TOGETHER 657 00:30:06,572 --> 00:30:11,177 AND SHARING SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT A PART OF. 658 00:30:11,210 --> 00:30:12,478 WHAT YOU DON'T GET IS, 659 00:30:12,511 --> 00:30:14,513 THAT THEY FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU, 660 00:30:14,546 --> 00:30:18,050 EVEN MORE SO. 661 00:30:22,621 --> 00:30:24,523 THEY WORSHIP THE GROUND YOU WALK ON, 662 00:30:24,556 --> 00:30:27,426 OR CAN'T YOU SEE IT? 663 00:30:27,459 --> 00:30:32,398 YOU'RE THEIR FUCKING HERO. 664 00:30:32,431 --> 00:30:35,501 AT LEAST YOU WERE. 665 00:30:38,170 --> 00:30:41,640 [bell chimes] 666 00:30:41,673 --> 00:30:45,044 [indistinct chatter] 667 00:30:45,077 --> 00:30:47,113 - IT'S THE NIGHT OF NIGHTS, 668 00:30:47,146 --> 00:30:50,449 WHAT EVERYONE IN THE INDUSTRY HAS WAITED FOR ALL YEAR. 669 00:30:50,482 --> 00:30:52,618 WHEN THE GRANADA INN IS TRANSFORMED 670 00:30:52,651 --> 00:30:55,287 INTO AN X-RATED XANADU. 671 00:30:55,321 --> 00:30:57,890 THEN, AFTER THE CEREMONIES, 672 00:30:57,924 --> 00:30:59,291 THERE'S THE GOVERNOR'S BALL. 673 00:30:59,325 --> 00:31:02,962 EVERY PORN STAR WILL BE THERE, IN PERSON. 674 00:31:02,995 --> 00:31:07,399 ZACK O'TOOL, ROGER MOREHEAD, WILL HARDIN. 675 00:31:07,433 --> 00:31:09,969 ONLY, THIS TIME... 676 00:31:10,002 --> 00:31:12,638 YOU'RE ONE OF THEM, EMMETT, 677 00:31:12,671 --> 00:31:17,543 THE POSSIBLE NEW-CUMMER OF THE YEAR. 678 00:31:17,576 --> 00:31:19,979 - PICKLE? 679 00:31:20,012 --> 00:31:22,581 - DID YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID? 680 00:31:22,614 --> 00:31:27,219 - YOU KNOW, WHEN I PUT GEORGE'S SWEATER ON... 681 00:31:27,253 --> 00:31:30,256 I FEEL LIKE HIS ARMS ARE STILL AROUND ME. 682 00:31:30,289 --> 00:31:32,258 [chuckles] 683 00:31:32,291 --> 00:31:34,393 HIS, UH--HIS SMELL'S STILL ON IT. 684 00:31:34,426 --> 00:31:37,196 THAT, UH-- THAT DELICATE COMBINATION 685 00:31:37,229 --> 00:31:40,566 OF VANILLA AND... DILL. 686 00:31:40,599 --> 00:31:44,036 - EMMETT, GEORGE WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO BE A HERMIT. 687 00:31:44,070 --> 00:31:47,506 - HE WAS ONE, FOR YEARS. 688 00:31:47,539 --> 00:31:50,076 AND NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY. 689 00:31:50,109 --> 00:31:52,278 - LISTEN TO ME. 690 00:31:52,311 --> 00:31:54,213 IF YOU LET THOSE PEOPLE TAKE YOUR PRIDE, 691 00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:55,948 THEN THEY'VE WON. 692 00:31:55,982 --> 00:31:58,384 IT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVER THAT YOU GET OUT AND CELEBRATE. 693 00:31:58,417 --> 00:32:01,220 - CELEBRATE WHAT, THAT I WHACKED OFF ON YOUR WEB SITE? 694 00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:04,456 - THAT YOU MADE A LOT OF PEOPLE HAPPY-- 695 00:32:04,490 --> 00:32:07,459 ESPECIALLY GEORGE. 696 00:32:10,329 --> 00:32:15,201 - SORRY, TEDDY. 697 00:32:15,234 --> 00:32:16,602 - WELL, ALL RIGHT. WELL, THAT WAS MY LAST 698 00:32:16,635 --> 00:32:19,171 AND MY BEST PLEA. 699 00:32:19,205 --> 00:32:20,572 [sighs] 700 00:32:20,606 --> 00:32:25,978 IF YOU WIN, I'LL ACCEPT YOUR CRYSTAL DICK 701 00:32:26,012 --> 00:32:29,982 AND TELL THE WORLD HOW PROUD I AM OF YOU. 702 00:32:33,585 --> 00:32:36,188 [door closes] 703 00:32:36,222 --> 00:32:38,590 - FUCKING ASSHOLE, HE RUINED EVERYTHING. 704 00:32:38,624 --> 00:32:40,426 - AT LEAST WE BACKED UP EVERYTHING ON YOUR COMPUTER, 705 00:32:40,459 --> 00:32:42,161 OTHERWISE, WE'D REALLY BE FUCKED. 706 00:32:42,194 --> 00:32:43,362 - YEAH, NOW WE JUST HAVE TO REPRINT EVERYTHING 707 00:32:43,395 --> 00:32:44,530 ON ANOTHER COUPLE HUNDRED DOLLARS' WORTH 708 00:32:44,563 --> 00:32:45,697 OF INKJET PAPER. 709 00:32:45,731 --> 00:32:49,235 - WE'LL SEND BRIAN THE BILL. - [scoffs] 710 00:32:49,268 --> 00:32:51,603 - LOOK, WE BOTH KNOW HOW HE CAN GET WHEN HE'S PISSED. 711 00:32:51,637 --> 00:32:53,205 - WHAT, THAT WE'RE DOING A COMIC BOOK? 712 00:32:53,239 --> 00:32:55,341 - WELL, WE DID KIND OF EXCLUDE HIM. 713 00:32:55,374 --> 00:32:57,243 - WE WERE WORKING. 714 00:32:57,276 --> 00:33:01,713 - IN HIS PLACE. IN HIS FACE. 715 00:33:01,747 --> 00:33:04,316 LAST NIGHT, WE EVEN WOUND UP IN HIS BED. 716 00:33:04,350 --> 00:33:06,318 - IT'S NOT LIKE WE WERE FUCKING. 717 00:33:06,352 --> 00:33:11,490 - WELL, I GUESS EVEN A SUPERHERO CAN MORPH INTO A JERK. 718 00:33:11,523 --> 00:33:13,225 - DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE GONNA FORGIVE HIM. 719 00:33:13,259 --> 00:33:14,593 - WHO SAID THAT? 720 00:33:14,626 --> 00:33:16,762 - [scoffs] KNOWING YOUR GUYS' DYSFUNCTIONAL HISTORY, 721 00:33:16,795 --> 00:33:18,064 YOU'D PUT UP WITH ANYTHING. 722 00:33:18,097 --> 00:33:19,198 - WELL, YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW 723 00:33:19,231 --> 00:33:20,232 THAT EVEN A GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT 724 00:33:20,266 --> 00:33:23,169 EVENTUALLY GETS HIS FILL. 725 00:33:23,202 --> 00:33:25,804 - ALL THIS TIME, I'VE BEEN FOOLING MYSELF, 726 00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:28,307 THINKING HE LOVES ME. 727 00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:31,310 - HE DOES LOVE YOU. 728 00:33:31,343 --> 00:33:33,445 YOU SAW HIS FACE THIS MORNING. 729 00:33:33,479 --> 00:33:34,813 WE COULD'VE REMOVED HIS TEETH WITH PLIERS 730 00:33:34,846 --> 00:33:36,315 AND HE WOULD'VE LET US. 731 00:33:36,348 --> 00:33:39,718 - MAYBE WE SHOULD'VE. HE DESERVES IT. 732 00:33:39,751 --> 00:33:42,254 - WELL, AT LEAST NOW WE KNOW WHAT RAGE'S FATAL WEAKNESS IS, 733 00:33:42,288 --> 00:33:46,258 AND IT ISN'T KRYPTONITE. 734 00:33:46,292 --> 00:33:49,061 [cheers and applause] 735 00:33:49,095 --> 00:33:51,530 - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME 736 00:33:51,563 --> 00:33:54,466 LAST YEAR'S WINNER FOR BEST BOTTOM IN A GANGBANG 737 00:33:54,500 --> 00:33:58,337 AND THREE-TIME NOMINEE FOR BEST JERK-OFF, SOLO, 738 00:33:58,370 --> 00:34:01,273 BUFF THOMPSON AND JASON COX. 739 00:34:01,307 --> 00:34:07,213 [cheers and applause] 740 00:34:07,246 --> 00:34:08,547 - WOW, JACE. 741 00:34:08,580 --> 00:34:11,583 THREE-TIME NOMINEE FOR BEST JERK-OFF. 742 00:34:11,617 --> 00:34:13,152 ARE YOU UP THIS YEAR? 743 00:34:13,185 --> 00:34:15,221 - I'M UP EVERY YEAR, BUFF. 744 00:34:15,254 --> 00:34:16,355 [laughter] 745 00:34:16,388 --> 00:34:18,624 MAYBE THIS TIME, I'LL PULL IT OFF. 746 00:34:18,657 --> 00:34:20,726 - DON'T PULL IT OFF, OR YOU'LL NEVER WIN. 747 00:34:20,759 --> 00:34:23,229 [laughter] 748 00:34:23,262 --> 00:34:25,797 NOW, LET'S GET TO THE NOMINEES. 749 00:34:25,831 --> 00:34:28,600 - IN THE PORN SITE CATEGORY, THE NOMINEES 750 00:34:28,634 --> 00:34:32,604 FOR BEST NEW-CUMMER OF THE YEAR ARE... 751 00:34:33,672 --> 00:34:35,774 - MAX PULLMAN. 752 00:34:35,807 --> 00:34:38,310 - HARRY LYNCH. 753 00:34:38,344 --> 00:34:40,846 - FETCH DIXON. 754 00:34:40,879 --> 00:34:43,715 - JOEY HORN. 755 00:34:43,749 --> 00:34:46,852 - AND THE WINNER IS... 756 00:34:46,885 --> 00:34:48,354 both: FETCH DIXON. 757 00:34:48,387 --> 00:34:49,455 [cheers and applause] 758 00:34:49,488 --> 00:34:50,856 - YES! YES! 759 00:34:50,889 --> 00:34:53,825 OH, YES! YES! WHOO! 760 00:34:57,629 --> 00:35:00,599 OH, YEAH, BABY. WHOO! 761 00:35:00,632 --> 00:35:06,272 [cheers and applause] 762 00:35:06,305 --> 00:35:09,241 OH, WOW. OHH. OH. OH. 763 00:35:12,344 --> 00:35:14,180 ALL THOSE YEARS WATCHING JASON COX, 764 00:35:14,213 --> 00:35:16,215 I CAN'T BELIEVE I FINALLY GOT TO SHAKE HIS HAND. 765 00:35:16,248 --> 00:35:17,483 [sniffs] 766 00:35:17,516 --> 00:35:21,220 AHH, THE HAND. 767 00:35:21,253 --> 00:35:24,423 OH, MY GOD. [sighs] 768 00:35:24,456 --> 00:35:26,325 TO BE HOLDING A CRYSTAL DICK... 769 00:35:26,358 --> 00:35:28,227 [laughter] 770 00:35:28,260 --> 00:35:30,929 SUCH A THRILL. 771 00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:32,464 [sighs] 772 00:35:32,498 --> 00:35:34,733 [stammering] 773 00:35:34,766 --> 00:35:37,336 OH, I'M NOT, UH, FETCH, UH, DIXON. 774 00:35:37,369 --> 00:35:39,638 UM, I'M-- I'M HERE, UH, 775 00:35:39,671 --> 00:35:42,241 ACCEPTING FOR HIM TONIGHT, UH, BECAUSE HE WAS-- 776 00:35:42,274 --> 00:35:43,242 - BECAUSE... 777 00:35:43,275 --> 00:35:47,513 [cheers and applause] 778 00:35:47,546 --> 00:35:48,780 BOYS... 779 00:35:48,814 --> 00:35:50,516 WITHOUT YOU, TED SCHMIDT, 780 00:35:50,549 --> 00:35:52,951 I-I WOULD NEVER BE HERE TONIGHT. 781 00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:58,156 [cheers and applause] 782 00:36:05,331 --> 00:36:06,498 [clears throat] 783 00:36:06,532 --> 00:36:08,667 - LOVE YOU! - THANK YOU. 784 00:36:08,700 --> 00:36:12,838 UM, THIS AWARD, UH, MEANS A LOT TO ME, 785 00:36:12,871 --> 00:36:15,774 MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW. 786 00:36:15,807 --> 00:36:17,676 IF I HADN'T BEEN ON, UM-- [clears throat] 787 00:36:17,709 --> 00:36:19,545 JERK@WORK.NET, 788 00:36:19,578 --> 00:36:22,281 I NEVER WOULD'VE MET THE MOST WONDERFUL MAN 789 00:36:22,314 --> 00:36:25,651 I'VE EVER KNOWN, GEORGE SCHICKEL. 790 00:36:25,684 --> 00:36:29,455 - SHICKEL'S PICKLES? - THE PICKLE PEOPLE PREFER? 791 00:36:29,488 --> 00:36:33,225 - UM, I, UH, I HAVE THIS SPEECH PREPARED. 792 00:36:33,259 --> 00:36:37,629 DIDN'T THINK I'D GET A CHANCE TO READ IT. 793 00:36:43,735 --> 00:36:46,838 TO THE WORLD, GEORGE SCHICKEL WAS A MAN 794 00:36:46,872 --> 00:36:50,709 OF PROMINENCE AND WEALTH. 795 00:36:50,742 --> 00:36:55,547 BUT TO ME, HE WAS JUST GEORGE. 796 00:36:55,581 --> 00:37:00,852 LOVING, AFFECTIONATE, A BOY AT HEART 797 00:37:00,886 --> 00:37:05,991 WHO JUST WANTED TO LOVE ANOTHER BOY. 798 00:37:06,024 --> 00:37:11,363 I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE THAT BOY. 799 00:37:11,397 --> 00:37:16,702 I LIKE TO THINK I BROUGHT A LITTLE FUN INTO HIS LIFE, 800 00:37:16,735 --> 00:37:21,307 BUT WHAT HE GAVE ME WAS SO MUCH MORE, 801 00:37:21,340 --> 00:37:25,277 SOMETHING ALL HIS MONEY COULDN'T BUY. 802 00:37:26,912 --> 00:37:32,250 HE MADE ME F-FEEL LIKE I WAS SOMEBODY. 803 00:37:37,756 --> 00:37:40,492 I LOVE YOU, GEORGIE. 804 00:37:40,526 --> 00:37:43,895 WHAT WE HAD FOR A-- FOR A FEW SHORT MONTHS 805 00:37:43,929 --> 00:37:48,634 WAS MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE HAVE IN A LIFETIME. 806 00:37:48,667 --> 00:37:50,302 THANK YOU. 807 00:37:50,336 --> 00:37:54,340 [cheers and applause] 808 00:37:54,373 --> 00:37:56,375 - [inaudible murmur] 809 00:37:56,408 --> 00:38:02,514 [cheers and applause] 810 00:38:02,548 --> 00:38:05,417 [big band music] 811 00:38:05,451 --> 00:38:09,721 * 812 00:38:13,959 --> 00:38:17,028 - I'M GLAD YOU TWO DAMES FINALLY CAME TO YOUR SENSES. 813 00:38:17,062 --> 00:38:19,097 IF YOU'D MADE ANY MORE OF A MESS, 814 00:38:19,130 --> 00:38:20,932 I'D HAVE TO DETONATE, NOT RENOVATE. 815 00:38:20,966 --> 00:38:23,902 [sarcastic laughter] 816 00:38:23,935 --> 00:38:26,071 - OKAY, WE KNOW, WE KNOW. WE REALLY SCREWED UP. 817 00:38:26,104 --> 00:38:27,406 - BIG TIME, BABE. 818 00:38:27,439 --> 00:38:29,408 BUT, IT'S NOT TOO LATE. 819 00:38:29,441 --> 00:38:32,077 - SO HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT'LL TAKE TO UNDO THE DAMAGE? 820 00:38:32,110 --> 00:38:35,414 - ALL DEPENDS ON THE TRIANGLE OF EXPECTATION. 821 00:38:35,447 --> 00:38:38,984 - HUH? - ALL RIGHT. 822 00:38:39,017 --> 00:38:40,352 - UH-HUH. 823 00:38:40,386 --> 00:38:45,023 - YOU CAN HAVE IT FAST AND CHEAP, 824 00:38:45,056 --> 00:38:47,793 BUT IT WON'T BE GOOD. 825 00:38:47,826 --> 00:38:49,895 YOU CAN HAVE IT GOOD AND FAST, BUT THAT WON'T BE CHEAP. 826 00:38:49,928 --> 00:38:53,131 OR YOU CAN HAVE IT CHEAP AND GOOD, 827 00:38:53,164 --> 00:38:55,701 BUT IT WON'T BE FAST. 828 00:38:55,734 --> 00:38:58,103 - SO IN OTHER WORDS, IT'LL BE READY NEXT TU B'SHEVAT. 829 00:38:58,136 --> 00:39:01,440 - OR CHRISTMAS, WHICHEVER COMES FIRST. 830 00:39:01,473 --> 00:39:04,042 - BUT NOT TO WORRY, LADIES... 831 00:39:04,075 --> 00:39:06,044 [rock music blares] YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW I'M HERE. 832 00:39:06,077 --> 00:39:08,113 - OH... 833 00:39:08,146 --> 00:39:10,749 - OH. 834 00:39:10,782 --> 00:39:13,785 HMM. 835 00:39:13,819 --> 00:39:16,054 - WELL, GOOD NIGHT, LEEDS. 836 00:39:16,087 --> 00:39:19,157 - GOOD NIGHT, SUGAR-LIPS. 837 00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:22,360 - I'LL BE RIGHT UP. 838 00:39:30,636 --> 00:39:33,872 I JUST WANT TO SAY HOW GRATEFUL I AM YOU'RE DOING THIS, 839 00:39:33,905 --> 00:39:37,008 AND HOW HAPPY I AM YOU'RE HERE. 840 00:39:37,042 --> 00:39:40,979 - YOU AND ME BOTH, OTHERWISE, I'D BE SLEEPING IN THE PARK. 841 00:39:41,012 --> 00:39:45,584 - ALTHOUGH I MUST ADMIT, I HAD MY RESERVATIONS. 842 00:39:45,617 --> 00:39:47,886 - I KNOW. 843 00:39:47,919 --> 00:39:50,021 BUT YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 844 00:39:50,055 --> 00:39:54,025 MEL LOVES YOU VERY MUCH. 845 00:39:54,059 --> 00:39:56,995 - THANKS. 846 00:40:21,687 --> 00:40:24,122 - WHAT THE FUCK? - EVERYTHING'S BACK. 847 00:40:24,155 --> 00:40:27,926 - CAREFUL, BOYS. 848 00:40:27,959 --> 00:40:29,528 DON'T STEP ON ANYTHING. 849 00:40:29,561 --> 00:40:33,499 - ALL RIGHT, KINNEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? 850 00:40:33,532 --> 00:40:36,001 - I READ YOUR SHIT. IT'S FUCKING GOOD. 851 00:40:36,034 --> 00:40:38,069 AND THE ARTWORK IS... 852 00:40:38,103 --> 00:40:39,738 ART. 853 00:40:39,771 --> 00:40:42,541 BUT THAT'S TO BE EXPECTED. 854 00:40:42,574 --> 00:40:43,542 - DON'T TRY TALKING YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS 855 00:40:43,575 --> 00:40:44,510 WITH COMPLIMENTS, DICKHEAD. 856 00:40:44,543 --> 00:40:45,744 - YEAH, AND DON'T THINK THAT JUST BY PUTTING 857 00:40:45,777 --> 00:40:46,745 EVERYTHING BACK THE WAY IT WAS 858 00:40:46,778 --> 00:40:47,713 WE'RE JUST GOING TO FORGET. 859 00:40:47,746 --> 00:40:51,049 - YOU OWE US AN APOLOGY. - SO START BEGGING. 860 00:40:51,082 --> 00:40:53,519 - I'M SORRY. - [scoffs] 861 00:40:53,552 --> 00:40:54,753 - THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. 862 00:40:54,786 --> 00:40:56,922 - WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, GROVEL? 863 00:40:56,955 --> 00:40:59,891 - MEAN IT! 864 00:41:02,894 --> 00:41:07,566 - WHAT I DID WAS IMMATURE, CHILDISH, VINDICTIVE. 865 00:41:07,599 --> 00:41:10,035 IT WAS AN ACT OF CRUELTY BASED ON IRRATIONAL FEARS 866 00:41:10,068 --> 00:41:12,904 AND UNFOUNDED JEALOUSY. 867 00:41:16,575 --> 00:41:21,046 IF I WERE THE TWO OF YOU, I'D NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN. 868 00:41:21,079 --> 00:41:24,583 - THAT'S BETTER. - THAT'S REALLY GOOD. 869 00:41:24,616 --> 00:41:26,585 - SO WHY IS IT THAT I PREFER YOU 870 00:41:26,618 --> 00:41:29,588 WHEN YOU'RE SHAMELESS AND UNAPOLOGETIC? 871 00:41:29,621 --> 00:41:31,156 - NOW, HERE'S THE DEAL. 872 00:41:31,189 --> 00:41:33,859 FINISH YOUR WORK, AND BUILD UP MY CHIN. 873 00:41:33,892 --> 00:41:35,927 I'M A SUPERHERO, FOR CHRIST SAKES. 874 00:41:35,961 --> 00:41:37,262 AND WHEN YOU'RE DONE, I'LL PUT TOGETHER 875 00:41:37,295 --> 00:41:39,297 A MARKETING CAMPAIGN THAT'LL MAKE EVERY FAG 876 00:41:39,330 --> 00:41:43,101 ON THE INTERNET WANT TO BUY IT. 877 00:41:43,134 --> 00:41:45,704 THAT IS, IF... 878 00:41:45,737 --> 00:41:48,674 YOU WANT ME TO. 879 00:41:52,944 --> 00:41:56,081 - DEAL. - DEAL. 880 00:42:00,886 --> 00:42:03,755 [dance music] 881 00:42:03,789 --> 00:42:07,292 OKAY, SO WHERE'D WE LEAVE OFF? 882 00:42:07,325 --> 00:42:11,162 - OH, YEAH, WHERE, UM... ZEPHYR GETS JEALOUS. 883 00:42:11,196 --> 00:42:13,298 - [laughs] GREAT. 884 00:42:13,331 --> 00:42:16,868 RAGE TOOK J.T. BACK TO HIS LAIR AT THE TOP OF GAY-OPOLIS. 885 00:42:16,902 --> 00:42:19,304 - RIGHT. - THEN THEY HAD AMAZING SEX. 886 00:42:19,337 --> 00:42:21,306 - WAIT, WHERE'S ZEPHYR? 887 00:42:21,339 --> 00:42:24,042 - I DON'T KNOW. GETTING HIS TIGHTS DRY CLEANED? 888 00:42:24,075 --> 00:42:27,145 - YOU KNOW, ZEPHYR CAN HAVE SEX ONCE IN A WHILE TOO. 889 00:42:27,178 --> 00:42:35,120 * 890 00:42:41,359 --> 00:42:45,163 - * HAVE MERCY 891 00:42:45,196 --> 00:42:47,933 * 892 00:42:47,966 --> 00:42:51,937 * HAVE MERCY 893 00:42:51,970 --> 00:42:54,039 * 894 00:42:54,072 --> 00:42:58,043 * HAVE MERCY 895 00:42:58,076 --> 00:43:00,979 * 896 00:43:01,012 --> 00:43:05,050 * THE OCEAN DEEP 897 00:43:05,083 --> 00:43:08,820 * 898 00:43:08,854 --> 00:43:12,991 * MY LOVE IS DEEPER 899 00:43:13,024 --> 00:43:16,695 * THE OCEAN DEEP 900 00:43:16,728 --> 00:43:20,231 * MY LOVE IS DEEPER 901 00:43:20,265 --> 00:43:23,735 * THE OCEAN DEEP 902 00:43:23,769 --> 00:43:27,739 * MY LOVE IS DEEPER 903 00:43:27,773 --> 00:43:35,747 * 904 00:43:45,290 --> 00:43:48,727 * THE OCEAN DEEP 905 00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:52,731 * MY LOVE IS DEEPER 906 00:43:52,764 --> 00:44:00,739 * 907 00:44:12,718 --> 00:44:16,087 * THE OCEAN DEEP 908 00:44:16,121 --> 00:44:19,424 * MY LOVE IS DEEPER 909 00:44:19,457 --> 00:44:23,394 * 62901

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