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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,212 - * ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR 2 00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:13,147 * ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX * 3 00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:14,382 * SHAKE IT, DUDE 4 00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:22,390 * 5 00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:29,697 * ONE, TWO, DO IT 6 00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:32,100 * 7 00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,534 * ONE, TWO, THREE 8 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,303 - * FOUR, FOUR 9 00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:38,406 * 10 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,810 [dance music] 11 00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:44,478 * 12 00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:49,417 - WOULD YOU MOVE YOUR DICK? I CAN'T CONCENTRATE. 13 00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:53,321 - YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE SINKING INTO THAT HOLE. 14 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,756 - OH, YEAH! GOOD SHOT. 15 00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:57,391 - WELL, HOW ABOUT GIVING ME SOMETHING TO AIM AT? 16 00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:58,659 - EXCUSE ME. SUPPORT A GOOD CAUSE? 17 00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:01,562 OH, HEY, COME TO THE ANGEL BALL. 18 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,864 SUPPORT A GOOD CAUSE. 19 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,166 FUCK YOU TOO. 20 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:06,767 - THAT WASN'T VERY ANGELIC. 21 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,437 - I CAN'T EVEN GET THEM TO TAKE A GODDAMN FLYER. 22 00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:12,873 - OH, ONLY 100 BUCKS FOR YET ANOTHER BORING FUNDRAISER. 23 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,676 - "ANGELS OVER PITTSBURGH" ISN'T JUST ANOTHER CHARITY. 24 00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:17,511 WHEN VIC WAS SICK, THEY BROUGHT HIM MEALS 25 00:01:17,545 --> 00:01:19,313 PRACTICALLY EVERY DAY. 26 00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:21,515 MY MOM AND I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT THEM. 27 00:01:21,549 --> 00:01:22,450 - YEAH, WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, 28 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,185 THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TO GET THESE GUYS TO GO. 29 00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:25,686 - IF YOU WANT TO GET THE SUCKERS INTO THE BIG TOP, 30 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,121 YOU GOTTA GET A BIG ATTRACTION. 31 00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:29,490 - LIKE MADONNA OR THE BACKSTREET BOYS. 32 00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,725 - HEY, THIS IS PITTSBURGH, SUNSHINE, 33 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,361 NOT YOUR WILDEST DREAMS. 34 00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:37,198 - WELL, HOW ABOUT PITTSBURGH'S OWN DIVINA DEVORE? 35 00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:38,632 SAYS HERE SHE'S IN TOWN. 36 00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,901 - OH, YEAH, THAT'S GOOD. A WORN-OUT OLD DRAG QUEEN. 37 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,237 - WHAT KIND OF HOMOSEXUAL ARE YOU? 38 00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:44,338 - THE KIND THAT FUCKS MEN. 39 00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:46,607 - DIVINA DEVORE IS A LEGEND. 40 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,409 SHE'S PERFORMED BEFORE PRESIDENTS. 41 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,611 - ULYSSES S. GRANT OR CHESTER A. ARTHUR? 42 00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:53,481 - IF YOU GOT HER, I BET YOU'D HAVE NO TROUBLE SELLING TICKETS. 43 00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:56,417 - WELL, IT'S WORTH A SHOT. 44 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,886 - [laughs] - OOH. 45 00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:01,622 - HERE AT THE CENTER FOR EARLY DEVELOPMENT, 46 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:05,493 WE OFFER A UNIQUE EDUCATIONAL PARADIGM, 47 00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:09,397 WHICH CREATES A SAFE AND SUPPORTIVE ENVIRONMENT 48 00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:11,665 IN WHICH OUR DEGREE CANDIDATES 49 00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:15,869 CAN ACQUIRE INVALUABLE LEARNING AND SOCIAL SKILLS. 50 00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:18,306 - "DEGREE CANDIDATES"? THEY'RE PRESCHOOLERS. 51 00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:19,340 - SHH, SHH. 52 00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:20,508 - THEREFORE, AS MUCH AS WE WOULD 53 00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:22,710 LIKE TO ACCEPT ALL OUR APPLICANTS, 54 00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:27,715 IN ORDER TO ENSURE MAXIMUM FOCUS AND INDIVIDUAL ATTENTION, 55 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:30,584 WE CAN ONLY ADMIT A SELECT FEW. 56 00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:31,685 YES? 57 00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:33,921 - MAY I ASK WHAT WILL DETERMINE YOUR FINAL DECISION? 58 00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:37,358 - THE CHILD'S OWN UNIQUE ABILITIES AND TALENTS 59 00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:38,726 WILL PLAY A BIG PART. 60 00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:42,263 BUT WE'RE ALSO TRYING TO CREATE 61 00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:45,733 THE FULL SPECTRUM OF HUMAN DIVERSITY-- 62 00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:48,936 UH, RACE, RELIGION, SOCIOECONOMIC BACKGROUND. 63 00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:50,771 - WHAT ABOUT SEXUAL ORIENTATION? 64 00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:51,905 - OH, YES, BY ALL MEANS. 65 00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:53,774 - ARE THERE ANY CHILDREN OF SAME-SEX COUPLES ENROLLED? 66 00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:54,875 - NOT YET. 67 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:59,313 BUT WE INTEND TO MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO CHANGE THAT. 68 00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:08,556 [electronic dance music] 69 00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:10,724 - IT'S A MASTERPIECE, THAT'S WHAT IT IS. 70 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:15,529 FOR 50 BUCKS, YOU'LL BE BUYING THE NEXT MICHELANGELO. 71 00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,331 IGNORAMUS. - [chuckles] 72 00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:18,432 - HE DOESN'T KNOW DICK ABOUT ART. 73 00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:19,433 - AH, IT DOESN'T MATTER. 74 00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:22,002 YOU DO. 75 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,704 - JUSTIN, 76 00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:26,607 YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU HAD YOUR VERY OWN SHOW. 77 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:29,377 - IT'S NOT EXACTLY THE MUSEUM OF MODERN ART. 78 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,711 - OH. 79 00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:33,514 - THAT'S NEXT. 80 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,449 - YOU WANT SOMETHING TO EAT? 81 00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:38,319 - AH, THANKS, HONEY. I JUST HAD LUNCH... 82 00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:41,455 WITH YOUR FATHER. 83 00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:43,724 - OH. HEY, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM. 84 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,694 - WELL, I WISH WE DIDN'T HAVE TO EITHER, BUT... 85 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,997 WE DO. 86 00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,600 HE SAYS HE'S NOT GOING TO PAY FOR YOUR SCHOOL ANYMORE. 87 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:55,569 - OH. THAT LAME-ASS SHIT. 88 00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:56,637 WHAT'S HIS FEEBLE EXCUSE? 89 00:03:56,670 --> 00:04:00,574 - THE STOCK MARKET AND SUPPORTING TWO HOUSEHOLDS 90 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:01,775 AND... 91 00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:04,378 BASICALLY 'CAUSE HE'S A LAME-ASS SHIT. 92 00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:06,314 I... 93 00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:07,915 I DON'T WANT YOU TO WORRY. 94 00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,350 I SPOKE TO THE ACCOUNTANT. 95 00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:10,584 I'VE GOT A LITTLE IN MY SAVINGS. 96 00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:12,052 I CAN CASH IN MY IRA. 97 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,422 - I'M NOT TAKING YOUR MONEY. 98 00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:15,923 YOU AND MOLLY NEED THAT TO LIVE. 99 00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:18,526 - YOUR SISTER AND I WILL BE JUST FINE. 100 00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:21,662 - NO, FORGET IT. I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT MYSELF. 101 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,367 [One of the Boys plays] 102 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:30,904 - * I'M ONE OF THE DAMES 103 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:33,507 * WHO'S ONE OF THE KNIGHTS 104 00:04:33,541 --> 00:04:38,011 * MY FRIDAY NIGHT TREAT IS A SEAT FOR THE FIGHTS * 105 00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:41,449 * I LOVE TO GO STROKE WITH A VARSITY CREW * 106 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,317 * YOU WANNA PLAY SNOOKER? 107 00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:45,519 * WELL, CHALK UP YOUR CUE 108 00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:46,820 * OH, I'M ONE OF THE JANES 109 00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,556 * WHO'S ONE OF THE JOES 110 00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:51,892 * HERE, HOLD MY CIGAR WHILE I POWDER MY NOSE * 111 00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:55,429 * I'VE LAYERS OF LACQUER A LADY ENJOYS * 112 00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:58,566 * I'VE EARRINGS AND BRACELETS AND VARIOUS TOYS * 113 00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:02,536 * BUT I LOVE WHEN I'VE SLIPPED INTO RIPPED CORDUROYS * 114 00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:05,072 * BECAUSE I'M ONE OF THE GIRLS * 115 00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:08,376 * OH, I'M ONE OF THE GIRLS 116 00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:09,677 * ONE OF THE GIRLS 117 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:14,848 * WHO'S ONE OF THE... 118 00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:20,921 * BOYS 119 00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,122 [applause] 120 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,692 - OOH! 121 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,360 IF YOU ASK ME, 122 00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:28,762 NOBODY MAKES A BETTER WOMAN THAN A GAY MAN. 123 00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:30,864 - WHAT WOMAN LOOKS LIKE THAT? 124 00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:34,768 BIG, RED WIG AND TONS OF JEWELRY AND GAUDY CLOTHES. 125 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,573 MY MOTHER DOES NOT LOOK LIKE THAT. 126 00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:41,809 [cheers and applause] 127 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,043 - OH, HERE SHE COMES. 128 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:44,912 - THANK YOU, PITTSBURGH... 129 00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:47,815 FOR REMINDING ME WHY I LEFT. 130 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,550 [laughter] - OKAY. 131 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:50,518 LET'S JUST HOPE SHE'S NOT ONE OF THOSE MANIAC DIVAS 132 00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:51,652 WHO THINKS SHE'S THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE, 133 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,954 YOU KNOW, SNAPPING HER FINGERS, BOSSING PEOPLE AROUND. 134 00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:56,624 - HEY, YOU. TELL THE IDIOT WHO RUNS THE LIGHTS 135 00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:59,927 THE PIN SPOT IS SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY FACCIA, NOT MY LEFT TIT. 136 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,395 - YES, MA'AM. 137 00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,464 I-I MEAN, SIR. I-I MEAN... 138 00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:04,465 - EXCUSE ME, MISS DEVORE. 139 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:05,866 - YES? 140 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,768 - I, UH... 141 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:10,638 I JUST WANT TO SAY YOUR PERFORMANCE TONIGHT WAS... 142 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:11,872 SPARKLING. 143 00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:12,840 - YEAH, BUBBLING. - EFFERVESCENT. 144 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:16,877 - STOP, YOU'LL MAKE ME BURP. - MISS DEVORE... 145 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:21,114 UM, I-I THOUGHT YOUR PERFORMANCE WAS REALLY GREAT. 146 00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:24,151 - WELL, HOW FLATTERING TO RECEIVE SUCH PRAISE FROM YOU... 147 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,686 HANDSOME YOUNG MEN. 148 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:29,022 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME. - WAIT! UH... 149 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,491 WE WANTED TO ASK YOU... 150 00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:33,060 - FOR MY AUTOGRAPH, HUH? - OOH. OOH. 151 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,595 - YEAH. - WELL, YEAH. 152 00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:35,563 AND, UH, FOR YOUR HELP. 153 00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:38,999 YOU SEE, I'M ORGANIZING THIS CHARITY EVENT, 154 00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:41,068 AND... - IT'S FOR A VERY GOOD CAUSE. 155 00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,970 - MM, IS THERE EVER A BAD ONE? 156 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,772 - UH, IT'S FOR "ANGELS OVER PITTSBURGH." 157 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:46,907 - THEY PREPARE HOME-COOKED MEALS FOR PEOPLE WITH AIDS. 158 00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:47,908 - AND I W-WAS HOPING YOU MIGHT... 159 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,911 - PERFORM? OH, I'D LOVE TO. 160 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,112 both: YOU WOULD? 161 00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:56,049 - IF I DIDN'T ALREADY SPEND HALF MY LIFE DOING BENEFITS. 162 00:06:56,083 --> 00:07:00,754 IF I DO ANY MORE, THEY'LL HAVE TO THROW ONE FOR ME. 163 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:02,222 - ONE LEFT AND TWO STAGE RIGHT! 164 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,156 - GOT IT. 165 00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:06,627 - I TOLD YOU THAT I CAN PAY FOR IT MYSELF. 166 00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:08,929 - WITH YOUR SECRET SWISS BANK ACCOUNT? 167 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,598 - I'LL GET ANOTHER JOB. 168 00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:12,966 A REAL JOB, ONE THAT ACTUALLY PAYS. 169 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,002 - YEAH, WHAT, MAKING 300 TO 400 A WEEK? 170 00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,104 - SO I WILL APPLY FOR A SCHOLARSHIP OR A LOAN. 171 00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:20,808 - WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO USE FOR COLLATERAL, YOUR ASS? 172 00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,744 LOOK, STOP BEING SUCH A TWAT. 173 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:24,878 I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU. 174 00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:27,114 - YOU'VE HELPED ENOUGH. 175 00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:29,249 I PRACTICALLY OWE YOU MY FUCKING LIFE. 176 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:32,853 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "PRACTICALLY"? 177 00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:36,023 - LOOK, I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL 178 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,725 LIKE YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ME. 179 00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:40,227 AND I DON'T WANT TO FEEL THAT WAY EITHER. 180 00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:42,195 - FINE, THEN, GO AHEAD. 181 00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:44,097 BUT DON'T COME CRYING TO ME WHEN YOU SUCCEED. 182 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:47,134 [dance music on radio] 183 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:53,807 * 184 00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:56,877 - I LOVE THAT YOU'D DO ANYTHING FOR ME. 185 00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,712 - WHO SAID IT WAS FOR YOU? 186 00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:01,982 I MADE AN INVESTMENT. I WANT IT TO PAY OFF. 187 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,854 - HERE'S A DIVIDEND. 188 00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:14,828 * 189 00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,572 - * THIS IS OUR SOUND 190 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:27,040 - * OUR SOUND 191 00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:30,978 * 192 00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:35,983 - WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO SEE SOME WORN-OUT OLD DRAG QUEEN ANYWAY? 193 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,918 - OH, HONEY, YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE ELSE. 194 00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:39,186 - IT'S LIKE BEN ALWAYS SAYS, 195 00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,021 YOU HAVE TO KEEP A POSITIVE ENERGY FLOW. 196 00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,023 - YEAH, WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT BEN 197 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,025 AND HIS NEW AGE GOBBLEDYGOOK? 198 00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:46,727 - IS THERE ENOUGH CELERY? 199 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,028 - YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T WANT DIVINA DEVORE AT THAT BENEFIT 200 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,296 EVEN IF I COULD GET HER. 201 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:52,633 - DIVINA DEVORE? IS SHE IN TOWN? 202 00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,101 - YEAH, WE BEGGED HER TO PERFORM AT THE BENEFIT, 203 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,769 BUT SHE TURNED US DOWN. 204 00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:59,006 - SHE ALWAYS WAS A SELFISH PRICK. 205 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,174 - Y-YOU KNOW HER? 206 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,844 - HONEY, I KNEW HER WHEN SHE WAS A "HIM." 207 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,680 HE WAS DANNY DEVORE THEN. WE WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER. 208 00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:09,149 - NO! 209 00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,918 - YOU KNOW, MAYBE IF YOU USED THE PERSONAL CONNECTION, 210 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,252 YOU COULD CONVINCE HER TO CHANGE HER MIND. 211 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,254 - ME? - YOU'RE OUR ONLY HOPE. 212 00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,023 - I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T EVEN WANT HER. 213 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,158 - AH, WELL... THAT WAS BEFORE I FOUND OUT 214 00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:21,228 THAT SHE'S A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY. 215 00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:24,297 - I-I'M SURE SHE WOULDN'T REMEMBER ME. 216 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:31,071 - MEL! MEL! - WHAT? 217 00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:33,674 WHAT'S THE MATTER? - LOOK, A LETTER. 218 00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:35,075 - WELL, YOU'VE SEEN ONE OF THOSE BEFORE. 219 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,244 - IT'S FROM GUS'S NEW SCHOOL. - HEY! 220 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:40,247 TODAY BABY UNIVERSITY, TOMORROW HARVARD. 221 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,882 - WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT HARVARD? 222 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,817 - I THOUGHT EVERYONE WANTED THEIR KID TO GO TO HARVARD. 223 00:09:43,851 --> 00:09:46,687 - I FEEL WE SHOULD AT LEAST CONSIDER YALE OR MAYBE BROWN. 224 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,188 - WE'LL CONTINUE THIS IN 16 YEARS. 225 00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:51,158 JUST READ THE LETTER. 226 00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,830 WELL, WHAT DOES IT SAY? 227 00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:57,831 - HE DIDN'T GET IN. 228 00:09:57,865 --> 00:10:01,001 - WHAT? 229 00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,236 AH! 230 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,072 IT'S BULLSHIT. 231 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,874 THAT WOMAN MADE SUCH A BIG DEAL ABOUT DIVERSITY 232 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,375 AND WANTING ALL DIFFERENT KINDS OF PEOPLE. 233 00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:09,376 - APPARENTLY NOT OUR KIND OF PEOPLE. 234 00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:10,377 - AND WHAT WAS ALL THAT CRAP 235 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,012 ABOUT LOOKING FOR A KID WITH SAME-SEX PARENTS? 236 00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:13,246 - WELL, IF SHE'D MEANT IT, 237 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,782 WE'D BE OFF BUYING GUS SCHOOL CLOTHES, HUH? 238 00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:18,085 - WELL, IT'S DISCRIMINATION, IS WHAT IT IS. 239 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,220 - AGAINST OUR SON. 240 00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:23,791 AND FOR SOMETHING THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM. 241 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:26,126 [crumples paper] 242 00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,094 [camera shutter clicking] 243 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,129 - OH, YEAH. YEAH, ONE MORE LIKE THAT, OH! 244 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,964 - I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY, MISS DEVORE. 245 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:33,266 - THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE? - YES, YES, YES! 246 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,268 - WELL, I WAS HOPING YOU MIGHT CHANGE YOUR MIND. 247 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,770 - I DON'T CHANGE MY MIND... 248 00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:38,906 - BRILLIANT. - ONLY MY UNDERWEAR. 249 00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,674 - SASSY. 250 00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:44,644 - NOW, IF YOU'LL KINDLY SHOW YOURSELF OUT... 251 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,148 - GUESS MY UNCLE WAS RIGHT. 252 00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:48,949 - EXCUSE ME? 253 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,351 - NOTHING. JUST SOMETHING HE SAID. 254 00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:52,953 HE KNEW YOU BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL. 255 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,288 - OH, REALLY? AND WHO WAS THAT? 256 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,224 - YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T REMEMBER. 257 00:10:57,257 --> 00:11:00,227 VIC GRASSI. 258 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:04,832 - VIC GRASSI? OH, MY GOD, I REMEMBER VIC. 259 00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:06,466 IS HE THE ONE YOU TOLD ME WAS SICK? 260 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,301 - YEAH, HE'S DOING A LOT BETTER NOW... 261 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,302 NOW THAT HE'S ON THE COCKTAILS. 262 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:12,439 - I'M GLAD TO HEAR IT. TELL HIM I SAID HELLO. 263 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:15,843 SO IF VIC IS YOUR UNCLE, 264 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,945 THEN DEBBIE MUST BE YOUR MOTHER. 265 00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:19,179 - YOU KNEW MY MOM? 266 00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:23,050 - KNEW HER? I DATED HER. 267 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,418 - [chuckles] YOU? I MEAN... 268 00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:27,721 - WELL, BACK THEN I WAS A MALE IMPERSONATOR. 269 00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:30,157 I DID A PRETTY CONVINCING ACT TOO. 270 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,424 SO HOW'S SHE DOING? 271 00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:33,326 - PRACTICALLY INDESTRUCTIBLE. 272 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,229 - DID SHE BECOME A NURSE LIKE SHE ALWAYS WANTED? 273 00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:40,100 - I NEVER KNEW THAT. - MM. 274 00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,002 - JUST A WAITRESS. 275 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:44,972 - JESUS, I CAN STILL HEAR THAT LAUGH OF HERS. 276 00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:46,807 SHE'D BRING DOWN A HOUSE. [chuckles] 277 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,475 I WISH SHE'D BEEN OUT FRONT LAST NIGHT. 278 00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:50,310 OH, AND THAT COMPLEXION. I TELL YOU, KID. 279 00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:52,479 YOUR MOM WAS A REAL LOOKER. 280 00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:54,481 - [chuckles] STILL IS. 281 00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:55,615 JUST, NOW, THERE'S MORE TO LOOK AT. 282 00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:59,953 - [chuckles] THIS BENEFIT OF YOURS, UM, WHEN IS IT? 283 00:11:59,987 --> 00:12:01,955 - FRIDAY NIGHT. 284 00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:06,994 - TELL YOU WHAT. I'LL BE THERE, AFTER MY SHOW. 285 00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:09,963 - THAT'S SO COOL. 286 00:12:09,997 --> 00:12:12,132 YOU'RE DOING A REALLY GOOD DEED. THANK YOU. 287 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,835 - DON'T THANK ME. PAY ME. [both chuckle] 288 00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:19,239 - SO HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOU SAW MY MOM? 289 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:23,110 - UM...WELL, NOT SINCE THAT SUMMER AFTER GRADUATION. 290 00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:26,179 I... I LEFT TOWN AFTER THAT. 291 00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,248 - I BET YOU HAVE SOME PRETTY INTERESTING STORIES 292 00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,783 ABOUT THE TWO OF YOU. 293 00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:33,086 - GENTLEMEN DON'T REVEAL SUCH THINGS. 294 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:37,958 ESPECIALLY GENTLEMEN WHO ARE LADIES. 295 00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:40,427 [soft rock music] 296 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:44,331 * 297 00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:45,833 - WHERE IS HE? MICHAEL! 298 00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:49,369 [sighs, growls] 299 00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,171 I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU GOT HER TO CHANGE HER MIND. 300 00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:52,105 [chuckles] 301 00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:54,074 - I CAN'T BELIEVE DEB DATED A DRAG QUEEN. 302 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,275 HOW'D THEY TELL EACH OTHER APART? 303 00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:57,344 - AT LEAST NOW WE KNOW WHO TAUGHT HER HOW TO DO HER HAIR. 304 00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,412 - YOU REALIZE THIS OFFICIALLY MAKES YOUR MOTHER 305 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,281 THE BIGGEST FAG HAG OF ALL THE TIME. 306 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:04,351 FIRST VIC AND THEN YOU AND NOW... 307 00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,286 HER HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART. OH, HI, DEBBIE. 308 00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:07,955 - HEY, GUYS. HI, BABY. 309 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,489 - I HEAR YOUR OLD BOYFRIEND'S IN TOWN. 310 00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:10,590 - WHOO! 311 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,025 - WHAT THE FUCK'S HE TALKING ABOUT? 312 00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:13,894 - I MET SOMEONE THAT YOU USED TO KNOW. 313 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,028 - YEAH? WHO? 314 00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:18,932 - DANNY DEVORE. 315 00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,067 - DANNY DEVORE? 316 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,836 - BETTER KNOWN AS... DIVINA DEVORE. 317 00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:25,072 - MICHAEL GOT HER TO AGREE TO PERFORM AT THE ANGEL BALL. 318 00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,606 - YEAH, THANKS TO YOU. 319 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,441 - WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH IT? 320 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:29,910 - OH, SHE SAID SHE COULDN'T POSSIBLY TURN DOWN 321 00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:31,044 THE SON OF HER FORMER FLAME. 322 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:32,245 - YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH. 323 00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:36,049 HE HAD NO RIGHT TO TALK TO MY KID ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE. 324 00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:37,450 - WELL, HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. 325 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,152 HE JUST SAID THAT YOU TWO USED TO GO OUT. 326 00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:41,088 - YEAH, IT WAS, LIKE, A MILLION YEARS AGO. 327 00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:46,093 I-I WOULDN'T KNOW HIM IF I F-FELL OVER HIM. 328 00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:49,096 IT'S CRAZY. 329 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:52,099 [All Fall In plays] 330 00:13:52,132 --> 00:14:00,573 * 331 00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:04,144 - * TIME TO COME ON UP 332 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,947 * TIME TO ALL FALL IN 333 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:08,081 - HEY, TURN AROUND. 334 00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:11,218 - * TIME TO COME TOGETHER 335 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:12,352 * NO MATTER WHERE YOU BEEN * 336 00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:13,586 - SHOULDN'T YOU BE HOLDING ON TO THAT? 337 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:16,456 - IT DOESN'T MUCH MATTER SINCE IT'S MY LAST ONE. 338 00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:19,226 - LE BEAU GESTE. 339 00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:20,560 SORELY LACKING IN FICTION 340 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,362 SINCE THE 19TH-CENTURY FRENCH NOVEL. 341 00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:23,897 HOW NOBLE OF YOU TO REVIVE IT. 342 00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:26,399 - [chuckles] FUCK OFF. 343 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:27,935 - DID YOU FIND A JOB? 344 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,903 - I MUST HAVE TRIED 20 RESTAURANTS. 345 00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:31,071 NO ONE'S HIRING. 346 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,605 - WHAT'D THE FINANCIAL AID OFFICE SAY? 347 00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:37,610 - MY FUCKING FATHER MAKES TOO MUCH MONEY. 348 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,947 - WELL, MY OFFER STILL STANDS. 349 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:43,216 - SO DOES MY ANSWER. 350 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:45,185 I'M GONNA DO THIS ON MY OWN. 351 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:48,088 - CAN YOU GIVE ME A HAND? 352 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:55,963 - SEE? SOME PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO ACCEPT HELP. 353 00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:00,000 - IT LOOKS LIKE A GOOD NIGHT. 354 00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,969 - THIS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE WEEKEND. 355 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,236 - REALLY? 356 00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:05,505 'CAUSE I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR SOMETHING, BUT... 357 00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:07,040 I MEAN, IT REALLY SUCKS OUT THERE. 358 00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:10,710 - WHY DO YOU THINK I'M DOING THIS? 359 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:14,414 - YOU KNOW IF THEY'RE LOOKING FOR MORE DANCERS? 360 00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:17,217 - GARY'S ALWAYS LOOKING. 361 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:25,192 * 362 00:15:27,995 --> 00:15:29,362 - SEEING WHAT A DORK I WAS? 363 00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:32,165 - OH, YOU WEREN'T A DORK. NO, I WAS A DORK. 364 00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:34,301 - FAT CHANCE. - [chuckles] 365 00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:38,371 YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FAT. 366 00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:39,572 YOU WERE MORE A DWEEB. 367 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,408 - THANKS. 368 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:44,144 - BRIAN, ON THE OTHER HAND... - I KNOW, WAS A TOTAL TURN-ON. 369 00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,046 - I WAS GOING TO SAY "SPAZ." 370 00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:49,582 - IS A SPAZ BETTER OR WORSE THAN A DWEEB? 371 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:52,452 - OH. OH, FAR WORSE. 372 00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:56,423 DID I MENTION I HAVE A THING FOR DWEEBS? 373 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,390 - LATER. - OH. 374 00:15:57,424 --> 00:16:00,493 - I WANTED TO CHECK OUT MY MOM'S OLD STUFF. 375 00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:04,231 - AH, WAIT, THAT'S KIND OF PERSONAL, ISN'T IT? 376 00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:06,666 - WELL, SHE NEVER REALLY TOLD ME MUCH, YOU KNOW. 377 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:09,236 EVERY TIME I'D ASK ABOUT BACK THEN, 378 00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:12,139 SHE'D SAY, "I DID MY HOMEWORK AND LISTENED TO MY FOLKS. 379 00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,573 AND YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME." 380 00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,375 - [chuckles] 381 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:18,311 SHE MUST HAVE BEEN A CHEERLEADER. 382 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:19,479 - HMM? 383 00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:21,081 MAYBE THOSE WERE VIC'S. 384 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:24,517 - AH. 385 00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:27,187 - OH. 386 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:30,223 HER YEARBOOK. - [chuckles] 387 00:16:30,257 --> 00:16:34,194 - CHECK OUT THE GIRLS' HAIRDOS. 388 00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:35,695 - [chuckles] YEAH. 389 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,630 - REALLY... 390 00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:38,631 BORING. 391 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:41,268 - REALLY STRAIGHT. 392 00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:42,535 WHERE'S YOUR MOM? 393 00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:44,471 - UM... 394 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,539 GRASSI, GRASSI, GRASSI. GRA... 395 00:16:46,573 --> 00:16:48,208 DEBORAH JEAN GRASSI. - AH. 396 00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:50,643 - LIKE DIVINA SAID, MOM WAS A REAL LOOKER. 397 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:51,644 - YEAH. 398 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:55,382 WONDER WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE. 399 00:16:55,415 --> 00:17:00,120 - WHAT COMES AFTER "SPAZ"? - OH, "SCARY." 400 00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:01,554 - SO... 401 00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,656 DECARLO, DIETRICH... 402 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:07,227 DANNY DEVORE. 403 00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:11,064 - WHAT? 404 00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:14,367 HMM. KIND OF CUTE. 405 00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:17,504 - IF YOU HAVE A THING FOR DWEEBS. 406 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:26,279 [indistinct chatter] 407 00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:31,351 - [clears throat] 408 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,086 THEY SAID I SHOULD TALK TO YOU ABOUT A JOB. 409 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,754 - DOING WHAT? 410 00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:36,223 - DANCING. 411 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,858 - EVER DANCE PROFESSIONALLY? 412 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,428 - NO, BUT I... I DANCE HERE ALL THE TIME. 413 00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,396 - YEAH, YOU AND A THOUSAND OTHER QUEERS. 414 00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:46,466 WHAT MAKES YOU SPECIAL? 415 00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:47,700 - I-I WAS KING OF BABYLON. 416 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:51,638 - WHO WASN'T? SORRY, YOUR MAJESTY. 417 00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:53,140 I DON'T HAVE ANY POSITIONS OPEN. 418 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,574 - I-I'M SURE THAT IF YOU SAW ME... 419 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:57,544 - HEY, I'M BUSY. 420 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:18,465 - ONE DANCE, THAT'S ALL. 421 00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:21,134 IF I SUCK, YOU CAN KICK MY ASS OUT. 422 00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:24,537 - [sighs] YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH OF A BODY. 423 00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:29,476 NO PECS, NO ABS, NO BICEPS. 424 00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:32,345 - I HAVE A GREAT ASS, AND I'M BLOND. 425 00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:35,515 YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FAR THAT GETS ME. 426 00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:38,551 - [scoffs] 427 00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:42,422 [sighs] ONE DANCE. MAKE IT GOOD. 428 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:45,425 [dance music] 429 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:53,400 * 430 00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:03,543 [music stops] 431 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:06,213 - TRY NOT TO STEP ON MY WON TONS. 432 00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:07,013 - HE SAID I'D BE PULLING 433 00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:10,183 ANYWHERE FROM 200 TO 300 A NIGHT. 434 00:19:10,217 --> 00:19:12,252 - AH. WELL, THAT BETTER BE ALL YOU'RE PULLING, YOUNG MAN. 435 00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,687 AND REMEMBER, YOU STILL HAVE YOUR SCHOOLWORK TO DO. 436 00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:16,889 - AND WHAT IF I DON'T? 437 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,925 - UM, YOU'LL HAVE TO BE SPANKED. 438 00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:22,362 - [chuckles] YEAH, JUST TRY IT. 439 00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:28,401 - [grunting] 440 00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:30,237 DOWN. - STOP! 441 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:31,604 - YOU LIKE IT? - OW! 442 00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:34,674 I WAS KIDDING! STOP, STOP. 443 00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:37,410 OH, YEAH! DADDY, DON'T HURT ME TOO BAD. 444 00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:38,978 - OH. - OH. 445 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:42,582 - JESUS. - OH, NOTE TO SELF: 446 00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,817 MAKE SURE TO LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR. 447 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,554 - I DON'T CARE. I'M GOING TO ASK HIM ANYWAY. 448 00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:49,322 - KUNG PAO CHICKEN? 449 00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:52,559 - WASTING YOUR TIME. - SPICY BEAN CURD? 450 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:53,693 - WHENEVER WE ASK HIM TO DO SOMETHING, 451 00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:54,994 HE SYSTEMATICALLY TURNS US DOWN. 452 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,429 - ASK ME WHAT? 453 00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,698 - I WANT YOU TO BE MY HUSBAND. 454 00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:00,900 - YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE. - IT'S FOR GUS. 455 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:03,836 HE GOT REJECTED BY THE CENTER FOR EARLY DEVELOPMENT. 456 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,938 - AND WE THINK IT'S BECAUSE HE'S GOT TWO MOMS. 457 00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:07,974 - SO NOW YOU WANT TO PASS HIM OFF 458 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,643 AS THE PRODUCT OF A HAPPY HETERO HOME LIFE? 459 00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:12,712 FUCK THAT SHIT. 460 00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:14,647 - I TOLD YOU, HE'S A TOTAL HETEROPHOBE. 461 00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:16,983 - THAT'S TRUE, HE IS. - IT'S TRUE, I AM. 462 00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:18,818 - BRIAN, YOU KNOW I WOULD NEVER 463 00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:20,287 ASK YOU TO COMPROMISE YOUR VALUES. 464 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,288 - SUCH AS THEY ARE. 465 00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:22,154 - BUT YOU'VE ALWAYS SAID, 466 00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:25,692 "IT'S NOT LYING IF THEY MAKE YOU LIE." 467 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:26,693 YOU WANT GUS TO HAVE 468 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:27,660 THE SAME ADVANTAGES AS KIDS 469 00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:30,630 WHO HAVE GOT A MOMMY AND A DADDY, DON'T YOU? 470 00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:31,864 YOU WANT HIM TO GO TO THE BEST SCHOOLS, 471 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,701 RECEIVE THE BEST EDUCATION, THEN YOU'VE TO HELP US MAKE SURE 472 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:38,271 THAT DESPITE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE MIGHT THINK OF US, 473 00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:40,640 HE'S NOT THE ONE WHO SUFFERS. 474 00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:42,809 SO WE FOUND ANOTHER SCHOOL, 475 00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:47,046 AND WE HAVE AN APPOINTMENT TOMORROW. 476 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:51,384 - HOW LONG DID THEY GO OUT FOR? - I-I CAN'T REMEMBER. 477 00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:53,753 - WAS IT SERIOUS? - HOW DO I KNOW? 478 00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:56,656 - DID SHE LOVE HIM? - SHE DIDN'T SAY. 479 00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,891 - DIDN'T SAY? THERE'S NOTHING MOM DOESN'T SAY. 480 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,628 - LOOK, MICHAEL, IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. 481 00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:03,730 WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER? 482 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,498 - ASK ME WHAT? 483 00:21:05,532 --> 00:21:07,033 - ABOUT DANNY DEVORE. 484 00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:09,869 - CHRIST. 485 00:21:09,902 --> 00:21:12,905 I HAVEN'T HEARD HIS NAME MENTIONED IN 30 YEARS, 486 00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:15,542 AND NOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN, IT'S ALL I HEAR. 487 00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:17,644 - I SAW HIS PICTURE IN YOUR YEARBOOK. 488 00:21:17,677 --> 00:21:19,979 - WHO THE HELL TOLD YOU YOU COULD BE LOOKING IN MY YEARBOOK? 489 00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:21,814 - YOU NEVER SAID I COULDN'T. 490 00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:23,516 IT'S JUST THAT THIS PICTURE OF HIM-- 491 00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:24,951 IT LOOKS A LOT LIKE ME. 492 00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:26,319 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 493 00:21:26,353 --> 00:21:28,020 IT DOESN'T LOOK THE LEAST BIT LIKE YOU. 494 00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:31,791 - YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE YOUR READING GLASSES ON. 495 00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:32,659 - FINE. 496 00:21:32,692 --> 00:21:36,663 MAKE ME FEEL OLDER THAN I ALREADY DO. 497 00:21:36,696 --> 00:21:40,066 THERE. 498 00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:43,736 I STILL DON'T SEE IT. VIC, DO YOU SEE IT? 499 00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:47,039 - CAN'T SAY I DO. - AW, COME ON. 500 00:21:47,073 --> 00:21:49,609 WE HAVE THE SAME EYES, THE SAME NOSE, THE SAME MOUTH. 501 00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,411 TELL ME THAT'S NOT MY CHIN. 502 00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:52,512 - NOT EVEN CLOSE. 503 00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:55,748 AND TRUST ME, I KNOW CHINS. I HAVE SEVERAL OF THEM. 504 00:21:55,782 --> 00:21:59,686 - MA, I JUST WANT YOU TO TELL ME. 505 00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:01,020 - TELL YOU WHAT? 506 00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:03,723 - WHY DANNY DEVORE AND I LOOK SO MUCH ALIKE. 507 00:22:03,756 --> 00:22:05,625 - I'VE GOT TO PUT THE CLOTHES IN THE DRYER. 508 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:06,859 - STAY RIGHT THERE. 509 00:22:06,893 --> 00:22:09,095 WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT? 510 00:22:09,128 --> 00:22:11,431 - HE SAID THAT YOU WENT OUT SUMMER AFTER GRADUATION. 511 00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:12,665 THAT WAS 1969. 512 00:22:12,699 --> 00:22:14,867 I WAS BORN MARCH 1970. 513 00:22:14,901 --> 00:22:17,670 - [laughs] 514 00:22:17,704 --> 00:22:20,440 I DON'T BELIEVE WHAT I'M HEARING. 515 00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:23,843 ARE YOU ASKING ME I-IF SOME OLD DRAG QUEEN 516 00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:28,448 THAT I ONCE KNEW IN HIGH SCHOOL IS YOUR FATHER? 517 00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:30,383 YOU KNOW WHO YOUR FATHER IS. 518 00:22:30,417 --> 00:22:32,652 THIS IS YOUR FATHER. 519 00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:36,022 JOHN MICHAEL NOVOTNY. 520 00:22:36,055 --> 00:22:37,624 LIEUTENANT IN THE U.S. ARMY. 521 00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:41,994 both: DIED IN VIETNAM, APRIL 10, 1970, TWO WEEKS AFTER-- 522 00:22:42,028 --> 00:22:44,130 - YOU WERE BORN. - I WAS BORN. I KNOW. 523 00:22:44,163 --> 00:22:46,132 YOU TOLD ME A MILLION TIMES 524 00:22:46,165 --> 00:22:47,667 THAT THIS GUY IN THIS PICTURE, 525 00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:49,969 WHO DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE ME, IS MY DAD. 526 00:22:50,002 --> 00:22:51,738 BUT THAT'S ALL YOU'VE TOLD ME. 527 00:22:51,771 --> 00:22:53,840 - WELL, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO KNOW? 528 00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,475 - WELL, WHO ARE MY GRANDPARENTS? 529 00:22:55,508 --> 00:22:57,877 - THEY'RE DEAD. - AUNTS AND UNCLES? 530 00:22:57,910 --> 00:22:59,011 - THERE WEREN'T ANY. 531 00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:00,747 - SO HE WAS JUST A WAR HERO? 532 00:23:00,780 --> 00:23:02,715 - "JUST"? 533 00:23:02,749 --> 00:23:06,018 THEY AWARDED HIM THE PURPLE HEART. 534 00:23:06,052 --> 00:23:07,620 HE WAS ON A RESCUE MISSION, 535 00:23:07,654 --> 00:23:09,155 CARVING HIS WAY THROUGH THE JUNGLE 536 00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:10,923 WHEN A LAND MINE EXPLODED. 537 00:23:10,957 --> 00:23:12,825 - YOU SAID IT WAS A JEEP ACCIDENT. 538 00:23:12,859 --> 00:23:16,062 - HE WAS CARVING HIS WAY IN A JEEP... 539 00:23:16,095 --> 00:23:18,030 WHEN IT RAN OVER A LAND MINE. 540 00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:20,032 - YOU CAN'T EVEN KEEP THE GODDAMN STORY STRAIGHT. 541 00:23:20,066 --> 00:23:21,634 - STOP CONFUSING ME! 542 00:23:21,668 --> 00:23:24,203 - LOOK, IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW. 543 00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:26,773 - I JUST WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH. 544 00:23:26,806 --> 00:23:29,141 - ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR? 545 00:23:29,175 --> 00:23:31,578 YOUR OWN MOTHER? 546 00:23:31,611 --> 00:23:35,582 I TOLD YOU WHO YOUR FATHER WAS, AND I EXPECT YOU TO BELIEVE ME. 547 00:23:50,597 --> 00:23:53,199 - GONNA GO SEE GRANDMA. 548 00:23:53,232 --> 00:23:54,734 - JUST PROMISE ME YOU'LL BEHAVE. 549 00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:57,937 - I WON'T MENTION DICK IF YOU DON'T MENTION PUSSY. 550 00:23:57,970 --> 00:23:59,071 - YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 551 00:23:59,105 --> 00:24:00,072 I DON'T WANT YOU GETTING INTO ONE OF YOUR MOODS AND... 552 00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:02,208 - HEY, I WANT THE HOMO HATERS TO LIKE OUR KID 553 00:24:02,241 --> 00:24:04,611 JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO. 554 00:24:04,644 --> 00:24:06,012 - YOU LOOK VERY HANDSOME IN THAT SUIT. 555 00:24:06,045 --> 00:24:08,548 - WELL, I TOOK A BATH AND EVERYTHING. 556 00:24:08,581 --> 00:24:11,718 - THIS IS IT. DON'T BE NERVOUS. 557 00:24:11,751 --> 00:24:14,887 - IF MY HEART RATE WAS ANY LOWER, I'D BE DEAD. 558 00:24:17,990 --> 00:24:22,662 - OOH. 559 00:24:22,695 --> 00:24:24,697 HI. 560 00:24:24,731 --> 00:24:26,933 - OH, HELLO. - HELLO, WE'RE THE, UH... 561 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:29,502 - THE KINNEYS? - WHO? 562 00:24:29,536 --> 00:24:33,239 - UH, UH, MR. AND MRS. KINNEY? - RIGHT! 563 00:24:33,272 --> 00:24:35,508 - SOMETIMES SHE FORGETS. DON'T YOU, HONEY? 564 00:24:35,542 --> 00:24:37,810 - I DIDN'T FORGET. HE'S SUCH A KIDDER. 565 00:24:37,844 --> 00:24:39,278 - OH, OH, PLEASE. 566 00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:42,481 I'LL TELL MS. HARPER YOU'RE HERE. 567 00:24:46,953 --> 00:24:48,287 - [clears throat] 568 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,489 - MAIN OFFICE. 569 00:24:55,227 --> 00:24:57,930 - I TOLD YOU TO BEHAVE. GEE. 570 00:24:57,964 --> 00:25:01,000 - WELL, YOU COULD SEND ME TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE, 571 00:25:01,033 --> 00:25:02,969 BUT I'M ALREADY HERE. 572 00:25:03,002 --> 00:25:04,270 - THIS IS ALL SO STRANGE. 573 00:25:04,303 --> 00:25:06,806 I MEAN, I ALWAYS KNEW ONE DAY I'D HAVE A CHILD 574 00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:09,742 LIKE GUS AND HE'D GO TO A SCHOOL LIKE THIS ONE. 575 00:25:09,776 --> 00:25:12,545 BUT I NEVER IMAGINED IT TO BE LIKE THIS. 576 00:25:12,579 --> 00:25:15,247 - WELL, THERE'S NO PREDICTING. 577 00:25:15,281 --> 00:25:18,951 OOPS, I SAID "DICK," DIDN'T I? 578 00:25:18,985 --> 00:25:22,622 - CAN'T YOU BE SERIOUS, FOR EVEN A MINUTE? 579 00:25:22,655 --> 00:25:24,824 - [sighs] 580 00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:29,762 YOU'RE ON. - [scoffs] 581 00:25:29,796 --> 00:25:32,164 IN FACT, THERE WAS EVEN A TIME... 582 00:25:32,198 --> 00:25:35,134 WHEN WE FIRST MET... 583 00:25:35,167 --> 00:25:40,172 THAT I THOUGHT THIS COULD'VE BEEN THE REALITY. 584 00:25:40,206 --> 00:25:43,843 DID YOU EVER FEEL THAT WAY? 585 00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:47,079 - NO. 586 00:25:47,113 --> 00:25:51,017 WELL, YOU WANTED ME TO BE SERIOUS, I... 587 00:25:52,985 --> 00:25:56,856 THAT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T LOVE YOU. 588 00:25:57,924 --> 00:25:59,025 - MR. AND MRS. KINNEY? 589 00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:02,629 - OH. MINUTE'S UP. - OH. YEAH. 590 00:26:02,662 --> 00:26:04,330 - OH, PLEASE, DON'T BE EMBARRASSED. 591 00:26:04,363 --> 00:26:08,067 IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO SEE YOUNG PARENTS EXPRESSING AFFECTION. 592 00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:09,235 AND I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT FOR CHILDREN 593 00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:12,238 TO SEE THAT TOO, DON'T YOU AGREE? 594 00:26:12,271 --> 00:26:13,673 COME INTO MY OFFICE, PLEASE, 595 00:26:13,706 --> 00:26:18,645 AND WE'LL DISCUSS GUS'S FUTURE. 596 00:26:21,047 --> 00:26:24,651 - I'D NEVER, IN A MILLION YEARS, KNOW IT WAS YOU. 597 00:26:24,684 --> 00:26:27,887 - 30 YEARS IS A LONG TIME. 598 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:29,956 - TRY 31. [chuckles] 599 00:26:29,989 --> 00:26:30,957 BUT WHO'S COUNTING? 600 00:26:30,990 --> 00:26:35,361 - SO COME ON IN. 601 00:26:35,394 --> 00:26:36,696 CAN I FIX YOU A DRINK? 602 00:26:36,729 --> 00:26:40,667 - [giggles] NO. NO, THANKS. 603 00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:46,639 GOD, YOU GOT MORE SHIT THAN I DO. 604 00:26:46,673 --> 00:26:49,942 - THESE DAYS, IT TAKES A LITTLE LONGER TO LOOK FABULOUS. 605 00:26:49,976 --> 00:26:53,780 - [chuckles] TELL ME ABOUT IT. 606 00:26:53,813 --> 00:26:55,347 IS THIS REAL? 607 00:26:55,381 --> 00:26:59,285 - HONEY, I WISH. 608 00:26:59,318 --> 00:27:03,790 SO HOW ARE YOU DOING, MY DIVINA? 609 00:27:03,823 --> 00:27:07,093 [both laugh] 610 00:27:07,126 --> 00:27:09,996 - THAT'S WHAT YOU CALLED ME IN HIGH SCHOOL. 611 00:27:10,029 --> 00:27:11,798 - NOW, YOUR SON TELLS ME YOU WORK AT THE DINER, 612 00:27:11,831 --> 00:27:13,232 AND VIC WAS SICK AND NOW HE'S BETTER. 613 00:27:13,265 --> 00:27:15,935 - 30 YEARS IN A NUTSHELL. 614 00:27:15,968 --> 00:27:18,705 - 31. - YEAH. 615 00:27:18,738 --> 00:27:21,440 - MICHAEL... 616 00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:25,211 IS A VERY NICE YOUNG MAN. 617 00:27:25,244 --> 00:27:26,345 - I'M VERY PROUD OF HIM. 618 00:27:26,378 --> 00:27:28,414 - AND I WOULD BE TOO. 619 00:27:28,447 --> 00:27:33,152 HE'S POLITE, CARING, GOOD-LOOKING. 620 00:27:33,185 --> 00:27:38,224 IN FACT, HE REMINDED ME A LOT OF SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW. 621 00:27:38,257 --> 00:27:40,026 ONLY AT FIRST, I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHO IT WAS. 622 00:27:40,059 --> 00:27:42,428 THEN WHEN I DISCOVERED THAT YOU WERE HIS MOTHER, 623 00:27:42,461 --> 00:27:43,429 I REALIZED 624 00:27:43,462 --> 00:27:46,465 I WAS LOOKING AT MYSELF. 625 00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:48,768 IN A MIRROR, THROUGH TIME. 626 00:27:48,801 --> 00:27:52,772 WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER TELL ME? 627 00:27:52,805 --> 00:27:57,043 - YOU'D ALREADY LEFT TOWN. 628 00:27:57,076 --> 00:28:01,313 RUN OFF TO THE BIG CITY TO BE A STAR. 629 00:28:01,347 --> 00:28:03,282 W-WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? 630 00:28:03,315 --> 00:28:04,817 CALL YOU UP AND SAY, "HEY! 631 00:28:04,851 --> 00:28:07,754 "GUESS WHAT, YOU'RE A DAD. 632 00:28:07,787 --> 00:28:11,357 COME BACK AND MARRY ME." 633 00:28:13,826 --> 00:28:16,328 - SO YOU DECIDED TO HAVE HIM ON YOUR OWN, 634 00:28:16,362 --> 00:28:19,766 RAISE HIM ON YOUR OWN. 635 00:28:19,799 --> 00:28:24,036 MUST HAVE TAKEN A LOT OF COURAGE. 636 00:28:24,070 --> 00:28:27,473 - IT WAS THE EASIEST DECISION I EVER MADE. 637 00:28:27,506 --> 00:28:32,478 - WHO'D YOU TELL HIM HIS FATHER WAS? 638 00:28:32,511 --> 00:28:36,482 - A SOLDIER WHO'D DIED IN VIETNAM. 639 00:28:36,515 --> 00:28:39,185 I PICKED HIS NAME OUT OF THE NEWSPAPER. 640 00:28:39,218 --> 00:28:43,455 FROM THE LIST OF THE DEAD. 641 00:28:43,489 --> 00:28:45,958 I EVEN CHANGED MY OWN NAME. 642 00:28:45,992 --> 00:28:47,459 - HMM. 643 00:28:47,493 --> 00:28:50,296 YOU WENT TO A LOT OF TROUBLE TO MAKE SURE HE'D NEVER FIND OUT. 644 00:28:50,329 --> 00:28:52,965 - I WANTED HIM TO HAVE A HERO. 645 00:28:52,999 --> 00:28:55,935 - AND I COULD NEVER BE THAT. 646 00:28:58,905 --> 00:29:03,375 - IT WASN'T SO MUCH THAT YOU WERE GAY, DANNY. 647 00:29:03,409 --> 00:29:05,344 I ALWAYS KIND OF SUSPECTED. 648 00:29:05,377 --> 00:29:10,382 IN FACT, THAT'S PROBABLY WHY I LIKED YOU. 649 00:29:10,416 --> 00:29:12,284 IT'S THAT YOU LIED TO ME. 650 00:29:12,318 --> 00:29:15,554 - YOU WEREN'T THE ONLY ONE. 651 00:29:15,587 --> 00:29:18,925 I LIED TO MYSELF AS WELL. 652 00:29:18,958 --> 00:29:21,127 I WANTED TO BE SOMETHING I WASN'T. 653 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:25,331 - WELL, YOU SURE AS HELL SUCCEEDED. 654 00:29:25,364 --> 00:29:27,099 AND HE SURE AS HELL DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW 655 00:29:27,133 --> 00:29:31,303 THAT HIS DAD WAS A DRAG QUEEN. 656 00:29:31,337 --> 00:29:33,472 AND NOW HE'S FOUND YOUR GODDAMN PICTURE IN THE YEARBOOK. 657 00:29:33,505 --> 00:29:37,343 AND HE'S PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER. 658 00:29:39,111 --> 00:29:40,246 AND KNOWING HIM, 659 00:29:40,279 --> 00:29:41,247 HE'S COMING HERE TO TALK TO YOU ANY MINUTE. 660 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,950 - CHRIST, WHAT DO I TELL HIM? 661 00:29:43,983 --> 00:29:45,952 - HELL IF I KNOW. 662 00:29:45,985 --> 00:29:48,087 - WELL, I'M SURE IF YOU EXPLAINED IT, HE'D UNDERSTAND. 663 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,923 - WHAT, THAT I'VE LIED TO HIM HIS ENTIRE LIFE? 664 00:29:55,061 --> 00:29:57,363 HE'LL NEVER TRUST ME AGAIN. 665 00:29:57,396 --> 00:29:59,398 AND I WOULDN'T BLAME HIM. 666 00:30:06,005 --> 00:30:09,041 - WE WERE WITH HER ALMOST 2 1/2 HOURS. 667 00:30:09,075 --> 00:30:11,177 SHE SEEMED REALLY IMPRESSED. 668 00:30:11,210 --> 00:30:12,979 - WELL, THAT'S A GOOD SIGN, ISN'T IT? 669 00:30:13,012 --> 00:30:15,481 - I HOPE SO. 670 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:22,454 AH. 671 00:30:22,488 --> 00:30:24,924 CHRIST, I HATE THESE HEELS. 672 00:30:24,957 --> 00:30:28,560 [groans] - BABY, COME HERE. 673 00:30:28,594 --> 00:30:30,963 - [sighs] 674 00:30:30,997 --> 00:30:33,165 THAT'S NICE. 675 00:30:33,199 --> 00:30:35,567 - AND BRIAN BEHAVED HIMSELF? 676 00:30:35,601 --> 00:30:39,238 - MORE THAN BEHAVED. HE WAS CHARMING AND ATTENTIVE. 677 00:30:39,271 --> 00:30:41,207 - I HOPE NOT TOO ATTENTIVE. 678 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:45,644 - HE COMPLIMENTED THE SCHOOL UP THE WAZOO. 679 00:30:45,677 --> 00:30:48,614 EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT. 680 00:30:48,647 --> 00:30:50,549 - SO WHY SUDDENLY THE LONG FACE? 681 00:30:50,582 --> 00:30:52,651 - IT SHOULD'VE BEEN YOU AND ME IN THERE. 682 00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:54,620 - YEAH. 683 00:30:54,653 --> 00:30:57,556 WHATEVER IT TAKES. 684 00:30:57,589 --> 00:31:00,459 BESIDES, IT WAS YOUR IDEA. - I KNOW. 685 00:31:00,492 --> 00:31:04,263 [chuckles] IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD ONE AT THE TIME, BUT... 686 00:31:04,296 --> 00:31:06,065 NOW, I DON'T KNOW. 687 00:31:06,098 --> 00:31:09,368 - HEY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 688 00:31:09,401 --> 00:31:12,238 SOMETIMES THE ENDS ACTUALLY DO JUSTIFY THE MEANS. 689 00:31:12,271 --> 00:31:13,605 [phone rings] 690 00:31:13,639 --> 00:31:15,307 BESIDES, THE IMPORTANT THING IS 691 00:31:15,341 --> 00:31:17,543 IS THAT GUS HAS THE SAME CHANCE AS EVERY OTHER KID. 692 00:31:17,576 --> 00:31:21,647 [phone rings] 693 00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:23,115 Y'ELLO? 694 00:31:23,149 --> 00:31:24,250 - MAY I SPEAK WITH MRS. KINNEY? 695 00:31:24,283 --> 00:31:26,118 - WHO? - MRS. KINNEY. 696 00:31:26,152 --> 00:31:29,688 - AH--OH. YES, HANG ON. 697 00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:33,392 MRS. KINNEY. 698 00:31:33,425 --> 00:31:36,362 - HELLO? MS. HARPER. 699 00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:39,531 - I JUDGE YOU'RE WELL? - YES, THANK YOU. 700 00:31:39,565 --> 00:31:41,167 OH, MEL AND I-- I MEAN... 701 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,435 BRIAN AND I FELT THE SAME WAY. 702 00:31:43,469 --> 00:31:46,038 WE WOULD BE SO PLEASED IF GUS WAS ENROLLED IN... 703 00:31:46,072 --> 00:31:48,707 WHAT? 704 00:31:48,740 --> 00:31:50,909 UH-HUH. 705 00:31:54,613 --> 00:31:55,581 UH-HUH. 706 00:31:55,614 --> 00:31:58,350 - "UH-HUH," WHAT? 707 00:31:58,384 --> 00:32:01,020 - I UNDERSTAND. 708 00:32:01,053 --> 00:32:02,488 WELL, UH... 709 00:32:02,521 --> 00:32:06,358 THANK YOU FOR CALLING. 710 00:32:06,392 --> 00:32:07,493 [beep] 711 00:32:07,526 --> 00:32:09,028 - WHAT? WHAT'D SHE SAY? 712 00:32:09,061 --> 00:32:11,163 - HE DIDN'T GET IN. 713 00:32:11,197 --> 00:32:14,133 - WHAT? 714 00:32:14,166 --> 00:32:15,301 - HE DIDN'T GET IN. 715 00:32:15,334 --> 00:32:17,203 OH, GOD. 716 00:32:17,236 --> 00:32:18,704 MS. HARPER CALLED WITH HER APOLOGIES. 717 00:32:18,737 --> 00:32:20,706 SHE THOUGHT MY HUSBAND AND I WERE ABSOLUTELY CHARMING, 718 00:32:20,739 --> 00:32:22,441 AND THEY WOULD LOVE TO HAVE GUS, BUT... 719 00:32:22,474 --> 00:32:23,542 - SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 720 00:32:23,575 --> 00:32:26,212 - THEY ONLY HAD ONE SPOT OPEN, 721 00:32:26,245 --> 00:32:29,448 AND THEY GAVE IT TO ANOTHER CHILD... 722 00:32:29,481 --> 00:32:33,052 WITH SAME-SEX PARENTS. 723 00:32:33,085 --> 00:32:37,489 - ARE YOU SHITTING ME? 724 00:32:37,523 --> 00:32:38,690 - THE BOARD DECIDED 725 00:32:38,724 --> 00:32:41,727 THAT THE STUDENT POPULATION HAD TO BE MORE DIVERSIFIED. 726 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,296 - WELL, WE'RE GOING TO SUE. TH-THIS IS DISCRIMINATION. 727 00:32:44,330 --> 00:32:48,200 - [laughs] AGAINST WHO? HETEROSEXUALS? 728 00:32:48,234 --> 00:32:51,003 [laughing] 729 00:32:54,173 --> 00:32:55,674 - YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? 730 00:32:55,707 --> 00:32:59,145 - I THINK IT'S HILARIOUS! 731 00:32:59,178 --> 00:33:02,181 OH, WAIT TILL BRIAN HEARS. 732 00:33:02,214 --> 00:33:04,216 - WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW? 733 00:33:04,250 --> 00:33:07,753 - I'M GOING TO TAKE A BATH. 734 00:33:07,786 --> 00:33:09,421 AND FIRST THING TOMORROW, 735 00:33:09,455 --> 00:33:13,159 WE'RE GOING TO LOOK FOR ANOTHER SCHOOL. 736 00:33:13,192 --> 00:33:16,028 AND THIS TIME, GUS'S PARENTS, 737 00:33:16,062 --> 00:33:19,431 LINDSAY AND MELANIE, WILL GO TO THE INTERVIEW. 738 00:33:24,336 --> 00:33:26,738 COME ON, RUB MY OTHER FOOT. 739 00:33:26,772 --> 00:33:29,108 - I'LL RUB YOUR OTHER FOOT. 740 00:33:29,141 --> 00:33:31,310 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M GOING TO RUB. 741 00:33:31,343 --> 00:33:33,779 OH! [shrieks] 742 00:33:33,812 --> 00:33:37,749 - * I WON'T DRESS LIKE THE MAGAZINES * 743 00:33:37,783 --> 00:33:41,387 * OR COPY PAINT-BY-NUMBER DREAMS * 744 00:33:41,420 --> 00:33:44,823 * SAFE IN THE MIDDLE, BETWEEN EXTREMES * 745 00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:49,061 * YOU GO AHEAD BUT IT'S NOT FOR ME * 746 00:33:49,095 --> 00:33:53,199 * WHEN I WAS BORN THEY BROKE THE MOLD * 747 00:33:53,232 --> 00:33:56,335 * I WON'T LISTEN, I DON'T WANNA BE TOLD * 748 00:33:56,368 --> 00:34:00,339 * TO FOLLOW EVERY TREND I SEE * 749 00:34:00,372 --> 00:34:01,340 * YOU GO AHEAD 750 00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:02,641 - WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL, 751 00:34:02,674 --> 00:34:05,811 I HAD A PART-TIME JOB WALKING PEOPLE'S DOGS. 752 00:34:05,844 --> 00:34:08,114 WHO KNEW YOU COULD MAKE MONEY WAGGING YOUR TAIL? 753 00:34:08,147 --> 00:34:11,350 - * I HAD TO LEARN TO STAND MY GROUND * 754 00:34:11,383 --> 00:34:13,852 * COULDN'T RELY ON NO ONE ELSE * 755 00:34:13,885 --> 00:34:16,088 * TO DO A JOB DONE RIGHT * 756 00:34:16,122 --> 00:34:19,425 * YOU GOTTA DO IT YOURSELF 757 00:34:19,458 --> 00:34:20,826 * I GREW UP AND I MADE MY WAY * 758 00:34:20,859 --> 00:34:22,294 - SOME TURNOUT, HUH? 759 00:34:22,328 --> 00:34:24,796 - CONGRATULATIONS, BABY. - THANK YOU. 760 00:34:24,830 --> 00:34:28,300 BUT I OWE IT ALL TO MICHAEL FOR DELIVERING DIVINA. 761 00:34:28,334 --> 00:34:29,635 - HERE YOU GO. - THANKS. 762 00:34:29,668 --> 00:34:33,172 OH, SHOW'S ABOUT TO START. - OOH. 763 00:34:33,205 --> 00:34:34,440 - SEE YA. 764 00:34:34,473 --> 00:34:36,208 - * I WON'T DRESS LIKE THE MAGAZINES * 765 00:34:36,242 --> 00:34:37,309 - AREN'T YOU GOING TO STAY? 766 00:34:37,343 --> 00:34:39,478 - * OR COPY PAINT-BY-NUMBER DREAMS * 767 00:34:39,511 --> 00:34:40,379 - HEY, AREN'T YOU STICKING AROUND? 768 00:34:40,412 --> 00:34:41,580 I THOUGHT YOU WERE HIS NUMBER ONE FAN. 769 00:34:41,613 --> 00:34:44,150 - JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. 770 00:34:44,183 --> 00:34:46,552 HOW CAN SOMEBODY PUT ON AN ACT LIKE THAT ALL THESE YEARS? 771 00:34:46,585 --> 00:34:48,287 - YEAH, I'D RATHER HAVE A HIGH COLONIC 772 00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,422 THAN HEAR SOME OLD QUEEN DO ROSE'S TURN. 773 00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:52,258 - I MEAN MY MOTHER. 774 00:34:52,291 --> 00:34:54,226 - * I WON'T LISTEN, I DON'T WANNA BE TOLD * 775 00:34:54,260 --> 00:34:55,261 - YOU DON'T KNOW FOR SURE. 776 00:34:55,294 --> 00:34:57,463 - THAT MY MOM LIED TO ME? 777 00:34:57,496 --> 00:34:59,631 THAT MY FATHER'S NOT A WAR HERO, HE'S... 778 00:34:59,665 --> 00:35:02,668 JUDY GARLAND? 779 00:35:02,701 --> 00:35:06,672 - WOULD YOU PREFER BETTE DAVIS? 780 00:35:06,705 --> 00:35:09,675 - * NOW I KNOW THAT I'M... 781 00:35:09,708 --> 00:35:11,210 - MAYBE I SHOULD JUST FORGET IT. 782 00:35:11,243 --> 00:35:13,179 - AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 783 00:35:13,212 --> 00:35:15,347 LADIES WHO ARE GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN WHO ARE LADIES, 784 00:35:15,381 --> 00:35:16,582 AND ANYONE ELSE THAT MANAGEMENT 785 00:35:16,615 --> 00:35:19,185 SINCERELY REGRETS HAVING OMITTED, 786 00:35:19,218 --> 00:35:21,220 THE ANGEL BALL WELCOMES ITS FAVORITE ANGEL, 787 00:35:21,253 --> 00:35:24,756 PITTSBURGH'S OWN MISS DIVINA DEVORE. 788 00:35:24,790 --> 00:35:29,595 - * HEAVEN, I'M IN HEAVEN * 789 00:35:29,628 --> 00:35:31,230 * AND MY HEART BEATS 790 00:35:31,263 --> 00:35:35,201 * SO THAT I CAN HARDLY SPEAK * 791 00:35:35,234 --> 00:35:37,203 * AND I SEEM TO FIND 792 00:35:37,236 --> 00:35:40,172 * THE HAPPINESS I SEEK - LOOK UP THERE! 793 00:35:40,206 --> 00:35:45,644 * WHEN WE'RE OUT TOGETHER DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK * 794 00:35:45,677 --> 00:35:48,947 * 795 00:35:48,980 --> 00:35:51,783 * OH, HEAVEN 796 00:35:51,817 --> 00:35:54,586 * I'M IN HEAVEN 797 00:35:54,620 --> 00:35:56,788 * AND THE CARES THAT HUNG 798 00:35:56,822 --> 00:35:59,825 * AROUND ME THROUGH A WEEK 799 00:35:59,858 --> 00:36:04,796 * SEEM TO VANISH LIKE A GAMBLER'S LUCKY STREAK * 800 00:36:04,830 --> 00:36:07,666 * WHEN WE'RE OUT TOGETHER 801 00:36:07,699 --> 00:36:11,403 * SWINGING CHEEK TO CHEEK 802 00:36:11,437 --> 00:36:13,572 OOH, PITTSBURGH. 803 00:36:13,605 --> 00:36:15,507 [cheers and applause] 804 00:36:15,541 --> 00:36:19,945 * DANCE WITH ME I WANT MY ARM ABOUT YOU * 805 00:36:19,978 --> 00:36:22,814 * THE CHARM ABOUT YOU 806 00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:24,950 * WILL CARRY ME THROUGH 807 00:36:24,983 --> 00:36:29,555 * TO HEAVEN, I'M IN HEAVEN... * 808 00:36:32,324 --> 00:36:33,859 MICHAEL. 809 00:36:33,892 --> 00:36:35,927 - MAY I COME IN? - WELL, I... 810 00:36:35,961 --> 00:36:37,963 USUALLY DON'T UNDRESS IN FRONT OF MEN I BARELY KNOW, 811 00:36:37,996 --> 00:36:41,433 BUT IN YOUR CASE, I'LL MAKE AN EXCEPTION. 812 00:36:41,467 --> 00:36:42,534 HOW'D IT GO? 813 00:36:42,568 --> 00:36:47,306 DID "ANGELS OVER PITTSBURGH" MAKE BUCKETS OF BUCKS? 814 00:36:47,339 --> 00:36:48,307 - ENOUGH TO BAIL THEM OUT FOR A WHILE. 815 00:36:48,340 --> 00:36:49,575 IT WAS GREAT OF YOU TO HELP. 816 00:36:49,608 --> 00:36:51,410 - WELL, IT'S THE LAST BENEFIT I'LL EVER DO. 817 00:36:51,443 --> 00:36:52,711 - SOMEHOW I DOUBT THAT. 818 00:36:52,744 --> 00:36:55,981 - [chuckles] WELL... 819 00:36:56,014 --> 00:36:57,983 YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, MICHAEL. 820 00:36:58,016 --> 00:36:59,718 IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU. 821 00:36:59,751 --> 00:37:01,320 - ACTUALLY, I HAVE ANOTHER FAVOR. 822 00:37:01,353 --> 00:37:03,989 - OH, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, 823 00:37:04,022 --> 00:37:06,558 HAVEN'T WE DONE ENOUGH FOR HUMANITY? 824 00:37:06,592 --> 00:37:07,859 ANY MORE AND... 825 00:37:07,893 --> 00:37:09,728 AND I'LL BE IRRITABLE ALL WEEK. 826 00:37:09,761 --> 00:37:11,897 - IT'S NOT CHARITY. 827 00:37:11,930 --> 00:37:14,300 ALTHOUGH YOU'D BE HELPING ME OUT A LOT IF YOU'D LOOK AT THIS. 828 00:37:14,333 --> 00:37:18,337 IT'S YOUR OLD HIGH SCHOOL YEARBOOK. 829 00:37:18,370 --> 00:37:21,540 AND THIS IS YOU. 830 00:37:24,009 --> 00:37:26,011 - OH, MY GOD. 831 00:37:26,044 --> 00:37:28,580 I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT IN 30... 832 00:37:28,614 --> 00:37:30,482 MAKE THAT 18 YEARS. 833 00:37:30,516 --> 00:37:32,618 - NOTICE ANY RESEMBLANCE? 834 00:37:32,651 --> 00:37:35,354 - YEAH. IT'S UNMISTAKABLE. 835 00:37:35,387 --> 00:37:37,889 I LOOK EXACTLY LIKE TOM CRUISE. 836 00:37:37,923 --> 00:37:41,460 - I MEANT TO ME. 837 00:37:41,493 --> 00:37:44,730 - YOU? [laughs] 838 00:37:44,763 --> 00:37:46,698 WELL, I APPRECIATE THE FLATTERY, 839 00:37:46,732 --> 00:37:49,435 BUT FRANKLY, NO. I DON'T SEE IT. 840 00:37:49,468 --> 00:37:50,636 - HOW CAN YOU MISS IT? 841 00:37:50,669 --> 00:37:53,004 I MEAN, THE WAY YOU LOOKED BACK THEN, THE WAY I LOOK NOW. 842 00:37:53,038 --> 00:37:55,341 I MEAN, WE'RE PRACTICALLY IDENTICAL TWINS. 843 00:37:55,374 --> 00:37:58,910 - WELL, I SUPPOSE IF YOU SQUINT, THERE'S A SLIGHT RESEMBLANCE. 844 00:37:58,944 --> 00:38:00,379 BUT SO WHAT? 845 00:38:00,412 --> 00:38:03,415 HERE, HELP ME WITH THIS ZIPPER. 846 00:38:03,449 --> 00:38:05,351 I ASKED FOR A DRESSER, 847 00:38:05,384 --> 00:38:06,518 AND THEY'RE TOO GODDAMN CHEAP... 848 00:38:06,552 --> 00:38:10,389 - ARE YOU MY FATHER? 849 00:38:10,422 --> 00:38:12,358 - THIS IS A FINE TIME TO ASK. 850 00:38:12,391 --> 00:38:15,394 AS YOU'RE HELPING ME OUT OF MY GOWN. 851 00:38:15,427 --> 00:38:16,662 - YOU WERE SEEING MY MOTHER THEN. 852 00:38:16,695 --> 00:38:18,063 THE TIMING IS EXACTLY RIGHT FOR YOU TO HAVE... 853 00:38:18,096 --> 00:38:19,064 - KNOCKED HER UP? 854 00:38:19,097 --> 00:38:23,802 FIRST, I WOULD'VE HAD TO HAVE GOTTEN IT UP. 855 00:38:23,835 --> 00:38:26,004 - WHAT, YOU MEAN, YOU AND SHE NEVER... 856 00:38:26,037 --> 00:38:28,607 - LOOK AT ME. 857 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:33,645 DO I LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF GUY WHO GOES AROUND BANGING BABES? 858 00:38:33,679 --> 00:38:36,081 YOUR MOTHER WAS HARDLY MY TYPE. 859 00:38:36,114 --> 00:38:37,248 - BUT YOU SAID SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL 860 00:38:37,282 --> 00:38:40,552 AND THAT BACK THEN YOU USED TO BAT FOR THE OTHER TEAM. 861 00:38:40,586 --> 00:38:41,987 - DRAG QUEENS ARE NOTORIOUS LIARS. 862 00:38:42,020 --> 00:38:45,357 EVERYONE KNOWS THAT. 863 00:38:45,391 --> 00:38:47,526 SO WHAT DOES YOUR MOTHER SAY? 864 00:38:47,559 --> 00:38:50,629 - SHE SAYS MY FATHER IS THIS BIG WAR HERO. 865 00:38:50,662 --> 00:38:52,564 - SO WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE THAT? 866 00:38:52,598 --> 00:38:55,867 - BECAUSE THE STORY KEEPS CHANGING, AND THE-- 867 00:38:55,901 --> 00:38:57,002 THERE'S ONLY ONE PICTURE, 868 00:38:57,035 --> 00:38:59,738 AND THE GUY DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE ME. 869 00:38:59,771 --> 00:39:01,840 LOOK, I'M NOT MAKING ANY DEMANDS. 870 00:39:01,873 --> 00:39:04,075 I'M NOT EVEN ASKING THAT WE STAY IN TOUCH. 871 00:39:04,109 --> 00:39:07,679 I JUST WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH. 872 00:39:10,015 --> 00:39:13,385 - MICHAEL, MAY I... 873 00:39:13,419 --> 00:39:17,823 TELL YOU THE ONE TRUTH I'VE LEARNED IN ALL MY YEARS? 874 00:39:17,856 --> 00:39:21,760 THE TRUTH... 875 00:39:21,793 --> 00:39:25,564 IS WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO BELIEVE. 876 00:39:25,597 --> 00:39:27,999 WHEN I'M ONSTAGE, 877 00:39:28,033 --> 00:39:32,838 PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M DIVINA DEVORE. 878 00:39:32,871 --> 00:39:35,941 NOT BECAUSE I'M A GREAT FEMALE IMPERSONATOR, 879 00:39:35,974 --> 00:39:38,710 BUT BECAUSE THEY WANT TO. 880 00:39:38,744 --> 00:39:40,746 - WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH WHETHER YOU'RE MY FATHER, 881 00:39:40,779 --> 00:39:42,948 OR IF MY MOTHER LIED TO ME? 882 00:39:42,981 --> 00:39:46,485 - YOUR MOTHER... 883 00:39:46,518 --> 00:39:49,455 GAVE YOU SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN. 884 00:39:49,488 --> 00:39:50,989 A HERO. 885 00:39:51,022 --> 00:39:53,625 A FATHER YOU COULD BE PROUD OF. 886 00:39:53,659 --> 00:39:57,463 BECAUSE SHE LOVES YOU. 887 00:39:57,496 --> 00:40:00,198 THAT'S THE TRUTH. 888 00:40:00,231 --> 00:40:04,836 WHETHER YOU CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IT OR NOT... 889 00:40:04,870 --> 00:40:07,806 IS UP TO YOU. 890 00:40:12,210 --> 00:40:14,680 - [sighs] 891 00:40:19,918 --> 00:40:25,657 [indistinct chatter] 892 00:40:32,831 --> 00:40:33,865 - STILL HERE? 893 00:40:33,899 --> 00:40:36,067 - SO HOW DID I DO? 894 00:40:36,101 --> 00:40:38,537 - NOT BAD... 895 00:40:38,570 --> 00:40:41,206 FOR YOUR FIRST TIME. 896 00:40:43,141 --> 00:40:45,677 - BUT THE TIPS SUCK. 897 00:40:45,711 --> 00:40:48,480 - WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING? 898 00:40:48,514 --> 00:40:51,783 - MORE THAN I MAKE WORKING AT THE DINER. 899 00:40:51,817 --> 00:40:54,620 - WELL, YOU NEED TO DANCE ON THE BAR. 900 00:40:54,653 --> 00:40:55,487 - HOW DO I DO THAT? 901 00:40:55,521 --> 00:40:57,956 - LOOK, YOU GOTTA WORK YOUR WAY UP. 902 00:40:57,989 --> 00:40:59,124 MAYBE IN SIX MONTHS. 903 00:40:59,157 --> 00:41:02,728 - SIX MONTHS? 904 00:41:02,761 --> 00:41:04,563 I NEED MONEY NOW TO PAY FOR SCHOOL. 905 00:41:04,596 --> 00:41:07,165 - THAT IS A PROBLEM. 906 00:41:14,205 --> 00:41:17,509 TELL YOU WHAT. 907 00:41:17,543 --> 00:41:21,780 YOU GIVE ME SOME TIME, I'LL GIVE YOU SOME TIME. 908 00:41:27,619 --> 00:41:28,854 - NO, THANKS. 909 00:41:28,887 --> 00:41:31,189 - UP TO YOU. 910 00:41:31,222 --> 00:41:32,624 OH, BUT IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND 911 00:41:32,658 --> 00:41:34,593 AND DECIDE YOU WANT TO MAKE, SAY... 912 00:41:34,626 --> 00:41:39,130 A COUPLE OF THOU' A MONTH, LET ME KNOW. 913 00:42:24,209 --> 00:42:26,211 [unzips fly] 914 00:42:44,162 --> 00:42:47,165 [Change Your Mind plays] 915 00:42:47,198 --> 00:42:49,167 * 916 00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:54,372 - * JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU KNOW * 917 00:42:54,405 --> 00:42:55,741 * THE PLACE YOUR THOUGHTS WILL GO * 918 00:42:55,774 --> 00:42:59,177 - STILL UP? 919 00:42:59,210 --> 00:43:02,180 - YEAH, I'M DOING MY HOMEWORK. 920 00:43:02,213 --> 00:43:04,215 - * THAT I CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND * 921 00:43:04,249 --> 00:43:06,652 - IT'S LATE. 922 00:43:06,685 --> 00:43:08,820 - I HAD TO TALK TO THE BOSS. 923 00:43:08,854 --> 00:43:10,355 - MM-HMM. 924 00:43:10,388 --> 00:43:14,192 - HE SAID STARTING TOMORROW I COULD DANCE ON THE BAR. 925 00:43:14,225 --> 00:43:15,927 - * YOU'RE MEANT TO BE 926 00:43:15,961 --> 00:43:18,697 - AFTER ONLY ONE NIGHT? 927 00:43:18,730 --> 00:43:19,831 - I TOLD YOU I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. 928 00:43:19,865 --> 00:43:22,367 - * CONTENT TO BE BLIND 929 00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:27,138 * BUT I CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND * 930 00:43:27,172 --> 00:43:30,776 * 931 00:43:30,809 --> 00:43:33,111 * VOWS WE MAKE 932 00:43:33,144 --> 00:43:35,881 * OATHS WE TAKE 933 00:43:35,914 --> 00:43:37,883 * SOMETIMES THERE'S REGRET 934 00:43:37,916 --> 00:43:39,384 - YEAH, I GUESS YOU CAN. 935 00:43:39,417 --> 00:43:43,088 - * LIKE ALL THESE THINGS 936 00:43:51,362 --> 00:43:55,667 [door opens, closes] 937 00:43:59,204 --> 00:44:00,906 - MA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP SO LATE? 938 00:44:00,939 --> 00:44:03,408 - UM... 939 00:44:03,441 --> 00:44:05,210 COULDN'T SLEEP. 940 00:44:05,243 --> 00:44:06,211 WHAT ABOUT YOU? 941 00:44:06,244 --> 00:44:09,981 - SAME. 942 00:44:10,015 --> 00:44:12,818 I CAME TO RETURN THIS. 943 00:44:12,851 --> 00:44:15,153 - YOU CAN HAVE IT. 944 00:44:15,186 --> 00:44:18,156 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 945 00:44:18,189 --> 00:44:21,860 - JUST PUTTING THINGS AWAY, MAKING ROOM. 946 00:44:21,893 --> 00:44:24,162 SOMETHING I SHOULD'VE DONE A LONG TIME AGO. 947 00:44:24,195 --> 00:44:26,297 - IT'S DAD'S SHRINE. 948 00:44:26,331 --> 00:44:27,966 - YEAH, SO? 949 00:44:27,999 --> 00:44:30,836 - SO YOU CAN'T JUST GET RID OF IT. 950 00:44:30,869 --> 00:44:34,405 - NO NEED FOR IT NOW. 951 00:44:34,439 --> 00:44:37,909 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 952 00:44:37,943 --> 00:44:43,181 - THERE'S NO NEED TO PRETEND, MICHAEL. 953 00:44:43,214 --> 00:44:44,282 THE TRUTH IS... 954 00:44:44,315 --> 00:44:47,919 - JUST LIKE YOU SAID. 955 00:44:47,953 --> 00:44:50,722 MY FATHER... 956 00:44:50,756 --> 00:44:54,793 IS LIEUTENANT JOHN MICHAEL NOVOTNY. 957 00:44:54,826 --> 00:44:58,229 DIED IN VIETNAM APRIL 10, 1970. 958 00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:04,235 HE WAS KILLED JUST TWO WEEKS AFTER I WAS BORN 959 00:45:04,269 --> 00:45:06,471 WHEN THE JEEP HE WAS DRIVING RAN OVER A LAND MINE, 960 00:45:06,504 --> 00:45:08,807 WHILE HE WAS CARVING A PATH THROUGH THE JUNGLE 961 00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:11,376 ON A MISSION TO SAVE HIS TROOPS. 962 00:45:14,913 --> 00:45:18,483 RIGHT, MA? 963 00:45:18,516 --> 00:45:20,218 - RIGHT. 964 00:45:20,251 --> 00:45:25,223 - FOR WHICH HE WAS POSTHUMOUSLY AWARDED... 965 00:45:25,256 --> 00:45:28,226 THE PURPLE HEART. 966 00:45:34,933 --> 00:45:39,104 - AND HIS LAST WORDS WERE... 967 00:45:39,137 --> 00:45:41,840 "TELL MY SON 968 00:45:41,873 --> 00:45:44,442 "I LOVE HIM MORE 969 00:45:44,475 --> 00:45:48,413 THAN LIFE ITSELF..." 970 00:45:48,446 --> 00:45:52,217 - "AND I'LL ALWAYS BE PROUD OF HIM." 971 00:45:55,921 --> 00:45:58,890 [Ron Sexsmith's Gold in Them Hills] 972 00:45:58,924 --> 00:46:05,130 * 973 00:46:05,163 --> 00:46:09,935 - * I KNOW IT DOESN'T SEEM THAT WAY * 974 00:46:09,968 --> 00:46:14,906 * BUT MAYBE IT'S THE PERFECT DAY * 975 00:46:14,940 --> 00:46:19,510 * EVEN THOUGH THE BILLS ARE PILING * 976 00:46:19,544 --> 00:46:24,515 * MAYBE LADY LUCK AIN'T SMILING * 977 00:46:24,549 --> 00:46:29,120 * 978 00:46:29,154 --> 00:46:33,925 * BUT IF WE'D ONLY OPEN OUR EYES * 979 00:46:33,959 --> 00:46:38,830 * WE'D SEE THE BLESSINGS IN DISGUISE * 980 00:46:38,864 --> 00:46:43,869 * THAT ALL THE RAIN CLOUDS ARE FOUNTAINS * 981 00:46:43,902 --> 00:46:49,474 * THOUGH OUR TROUBLES SEEM LIKE MOUNTAINS * 982 00:46:49,507 --> 00:46:53,845 * THERE'S GOLD IN THEM HILLS 983 00:46:53,879 --> 00:46:58,850 * THERE'S GOLD IN THEM HILLS * 984 00:46:58,884 --> 00:47:03,922 * SO DON'T LOSE HEART 985 00:47:03,955 --> 00:47:08,927 * GIVE THE DAY A CHANCE TO START * 986 00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:16,935 * 987 00:47:16,968 --> 00:47:21,940 * EVERY NOW AND THEN LIFE SAYS * 988 00:47:21,973 --> 00:47:26,644 * "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING SO FAST?" * 989 00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:31,649 * WE'RE APT TO THINK IT CRUEL BUT SOMETIMES * 990 00:47:31,682 --> 00:47:36,621 * IT'S A CASE OF CRUEL TO BE KIND * 991 00:47:36,654 --> 00:47:41,392 * 992 00:47:41,426 --> 00:47:46,097 * AND IF WE'D GET UP OFF OUR KNEES * 993 00:47:46,131 --> 00:47:50,936 * THEN WE'D SEE THE FOREST FOR THE TREES * 994 00:47:50,969 --> 00:47:55,941 * AND WE'LL SEE THE NEW SUN RISING * 995 00:47:55,974 --> 00:48:01,646 * OVER THE HILLS AND HORIZON * 996 00:48:01,679 --> 00:48:06,584 * THERE'S GOLD IN THEM HILLS 70172

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