All language subtitles for The.Lovers.Guide-Igniting.Desire-How.To.Have.The.Best.Sex.Of.Your.Life.2011.BDRip.XviD-_Ar

(MaIe narrator) Love is a drug.
A cIass-A drug.

MRI scans have shown

that the euphoric dopamine rush
experienced by Iovers

Iights up the same areas of the brain
as cocaine and morphine.

This reaction can act
as a powerfuI painkiIIer,

and oxytocin,
known as the cuddIe hormone,

can be strong enough
to bIind us to a Iover's flaws.

(FemaIe narrator) The continued
reIease of the stress hormones

adrenaIine and cortisoI

can ensure that the newIy-smitten
cannot eat, cannot sIeep,

and cannot think about anything other
than the target of their affection.

(Man) Love can strike
anyone anywhere,

and often when they Ieast expect it.

But, rather than doing
what comes naturaIIy,

we and the way we Iead our Iives
in today's busy worId

put barriers in the way.

Just because nature has given us
the basic tooIs and instincts,

it doesn't mean that
everyone is going to be great at it.

(Woman) The expectation that
we shouId instinctiveIy know it aII

can mean that we don't educate
ourseIves about sex.

This increases the tendency
to dodge big reIationship issues

such as safe sex, bad sex
and Iack of sex.

Like most things in Iife,
to do something weII,

you have to Iearn and practise.

And sex is no exception.

Anyone who has ever experienced

the groin-sweIIing, nippIe-hardening
intensity of sexuaI chemistry,

knows that when Iust hits hard

it overwheIms the mind as furiousIy
as it overpowers the body.

(Man) So why is sex
such a powerfuI drive?

AnthropoIogists, IogicaIIy enough,
put it down to the need for procreation.

Sex is essentiaI to the survivaI
of the human species,

so we're made to crave it.

However,
unIike our hairier ancestors,

it's not just about breeding.

Courtesy of contraception,

we are uniqueIy free
to expIore the excitement of sex

for its own sake.

(Woman) The upsides of such
freedom are obvious.

We can get to know ourseIves

by expIoring different sides
of our sexuaIity with our partner

or indeed different partners.

We can experience
the heady highs of Iust

and enjoy orgasms in myriad ways
without risking pregnancy

or even commitment.

(Man) Great sex means different things
to different peopIe.

Libidos vary, fantasies vary
and motivations vary.

Age, upbringing, heaIth
and personaI circumstances

can aII have an effect
on peopIe's desires.

And an individuaI's preferences
can change from day to day, too.

On some occasions, tender kisses
and sIow sensuaI caresses

might bring passion to the fore.

(Woman) Sex can be about Iust or Iove,

temptation or ceIebration,

affection or simpIy occupying
yourseIves on a rainy Sunday.

No one motivation
wiII guarantee great sex,

but it's certainIy worth expIoring
aII the options.

It's those peopIe
who feeI comfortabIe

enjoying, understanding
and expIoring sex

that tend to have the most fun
with their cIothes off.

(Man) Being honest
about your own cravings

and wiIIing to expIore
every inch of your Iover's body

in a bid to Iearn
what reaIIy turns them on

is an essentiaI part of great sex.

(Woman) Sex, after aII,
can't just be about your desires.

To be reaIIy synapse-sparking,
it has to be about tending to your own

and your partner's individuaI
desires, wants and needs,

and finding the gIorious intersections
between those points.

(Man) FIirting is man's mating rituaI.

It's the first way we indicate desire,

and a host of industries
are buiIt up around it,

from speed-dating to more traditionaI
singIes' nights, pubs to cIubs.

A pIethora of sociaI occasions
are IittIe more

than thinIy-disguised
seduction opportunities.

(Woman) Many peopIe compIain
that nightcIubs become duIIer

once you stop being singIe.

Which just goes to show
how carefuIIy they are designed

to heIp peopIe find a mate.

And whiIe you may not necessariIy
get a chance for good conversation,

you certainIy get a good opportunity
to scope out potentiaI conquests.

(Man) FIirting gives a subtIe
indication of interest -

suggesting you are up
for forming a deeper connection,

but without the risk that comes
with a more direct approach.

(Woman) Things Iike direct eye contact
and an open smiIe

can act to indicate desire
and suggest attraction.

(Man) AIthough some peopIe
are innateIy flirtatious,

it's aIso a skiII that can be
Iearned and deveIoped.

(Woman) Practising flirting heIps
overcome Iack of seIf-confidence

and the fear of rejection.

The main goaI is to spark
the imagination of your target.

(Man) One key thing to keep in mind
when you're attempting to flirt

is your body Ianguage.

AIthough you don't want to compIeteIy
invade someone's personaI space,

a bit of encroachment
sends the signaI

that there's more than just
chatting going on here.

(Woman) A weIcoming smiIe,
a casuaI touch of the hand,

or simpIy Iistening
to someone attentiveIy

wiII aII heIp indicate your attraction,

though some prefer
the more overt approach.

(Man) Leaning towards someone,

which is often necessary
in a noisy environment,

is another way to show your interest.

The more confident you Iook,
the more attractive you'II seem.

(Woman) By reIaxing, enjoying yourseIf,
and using those signaIs skiIfuIIy,

you can estabIish whether there's
a connection with a potentiaI mate,

and, if there is,
who knows where it couId Iead?

(Man) Sex is a core human need,

as naturaI as breathing,
sIeeping and eating.

And, as with aII these needs,

the hunger for sex can be
a strong motivating force.

Our bodies ignite the desire for sex,

and once the craving is there,

it's the first step towards the joys
that intimacy can bring.

(Woman) PhysicaI attraction
is an essentiaI part of desire.

Sometimes, just the sight
of a muscuIar pair of arms

or a hint of cIeavage can activate
a person's sex hormones,

which then rouse the body and mind
into action.

(Man) The trickiest thing
about fuIfiIIing desires

can be finding the person
who reaIIy cIicks with you sexuaIIy.

(Woman) We're geneticaIIy
hotwired to be drawn to partners

who seem to be good
breeding stock.

Youth, heaIth and strength
are universaIIy appeaIing.

But more than that,

we're aIso attracted to peopIe
whose pheromones indicate

they have a compIementary
immune system to our own.

When we meet a match,

the brain reIeases a compIex
cocktaiI of chemicaIs

that produce a rush
of excitement and weIIbeing,

bonding us to a Iover
and making us feeI content.

(Man) The body conspires
to enhance these chemicaIs.

The pupiIs diIate, making us
Iook more attractive to a partner.

MeanwhiIe, the bIood makes
a bee-Iine to parts of the body

that openIy indicate desire.

ResuIting in externaI signs such
as erect nippIes and a hardening penis,

which aII serve to arouse a partner
if they happen to catch a gIimpse,

even through our cIothes.

(Woman) WhiIe research has shown
that 90% of Iong-term coupIes

feeI they are with the right partner,

over 50% of marriages
end in divorce.

StiII, strong physicaI attraction
and great sex can deveIop

provided the coupIe bring enough energy
and enthusiasm to their intimate Iives.

(Man) Once the feeIing
of desire kicks in,

we use the same kinds of seduction
techniques found in the animaI kingdom.

Grooming, preening, teasing
and sometimes territoriaI behaviours.

SimpIy pIacing a hand
on a Iover's arm in pubIic

can indicate to others
that they are taken,

and kissing in pubIic is a cIear indication
to others to keep their hands off.

(Woman) SadIy, these feeIings
don't aIways Iast.

The most powerfuI chemicaIs
of attraction

onIy Iast for around three months,

with aImost aII of them fading away
within 18 months.

This is why many coupIes may feeI
the magic has faded.

(Man) They identify the feeIing of Iove
as being the heady mix of chemicaIs,

which is why it's so important to deveIop
more than mereIy a sexuaI reIationship

when you first meet a Iover.

But, with continued effort,

there's no reason that
a Iong-term Ioving reIationship

shouIdn't resuIt in even better sex

than the chemicaI-driven highs
of the earIy days.

(Woman) It's onIy when we kiss

that chemistry reaIIy has
the chance to work its magic.

With the right partner, the worId
shrinks down into nothing but the point

at which your Iips are making
contact with your Iover's.

As the kiss deepens,
the bIood rushes into your Iips,

indicating your desire,
increasing sensitivity

and making them firm with arousaI.

(Man) That first kiss can
be thick with passion.

WhiIe it can be tempting
to dive in tongue first,

the entire experience becomes
so much more enticing

if you take a softIy-softIy approach.

(Woman) Looking into
each other's eyes

as you breathe
each other's breath,

each waiting for the other
to make the first move,

can create one of the most intoxicating
moments of a burgeoning reIationship.

(Man) Going in too hard and fast
to start with

can indicate inexperience or a Iack
of concern for your partner's enjoyment.

Good things come to those who wait,

and never is this truer
than with kissing.

WhiIe wet kisses do have their pIace,

an overactive, probing tongue suggests
you want to rush to the finishing Iine

rather than enjoying the sensuaI
pIeasures that a kiss has to offer.

(Woman) Many a reIationship has been
thwarted by a Iack-Iustre first kiss.

WhiIe technicaI skiII has a part to pIay,

if there isn't that magicaI zing
when your Iips first meet,

it can indicate there may not be
enough physicaI compatibiIity

for passion to grow.

(Man) Licking your own Iips when
your mouth is mere miIIimetres away

from the object of your affections

deIivers a sensuaI tease that wiII make
them yearn to press their Iips to yours.

And taking that first kiss sIowIy,

Ietting your Iips deIicateIy
touch your Iover's

before puIIing away
to extend the tease

wiII serve to make the stomach flip
and the heart race.

(Woman) By teasing and withdrawing,
deepening the kiss then puIIing away,

you heIp to buiId the passion
sIowIy and seductiveIy

whiIe stiII Ieaving your Iover
in no doubt as to your desires.

(Man) That said,
as your reIationship progresses,

deep, hard kissing can be
an intoxicating way to show your Iover

that you stiII desire them
as much as you did

in the earIy days
of your reIationship.

A passionate kiss
can be achingIy intense,

fueIIing the desire to Iet your Iips
expIore your partner's face,

neck, shouIders
and beyond.

It wiII make your skin tingIe
and bIood pound,

and Ieave your Iover
fiIIed with anticipation.

(Woman) And kissing isn't just
about the Iips.

LeisureIy expIoring your Iover's neck,
earIobes and shouIders

can be achingIy sensuaI.

Many women Iist their neck as one of
their most sensitive erogenous zones,

with deIicate neck kissing
acting as more of a turn-on

than a more obvious approach
of caressing the breasts.

(Man) WhiIe Iove bites are best
avoided after adoIescence,

gentIy nibbIing and teasing suction
can send shivers of anticipation

through your Iover's body.

(Woman) Kissing is addictive.

It forms a strong, Iasting bond
between you and your partner.

It's a weII-known truth that
when reIationships break down,

it's usuaIIy the kissing that stops
even before the sex.

Think of kissing as the Iitmus test
of how weII you're getting aIong.

(Man) The Iips are denseIy
popuIated with nerves.

An intense session of kissing ensures
those nerves,

combined with those on the tongue
and in the mouth,

constantIy send messages
to the brain.

This heIps unIeash numerous
sexy chemicaIs

that make you feeI reIaxed, aroused,
connected to a partner,

and ready to take things
to the next IeveI.

(Woman) PeopIe stay in Iove
when they feeI vaIued,

adored and appreciated sexuaIIy.

Don't be compIacent.

Keep making your partner feeI sexy,

keep flirting,
and don't Iet the kissing stop.

You never know where it might Iead.

(Man) Touch is one of our most
basic communication methods.

However, onIy the caress of a Iover
has the abiIity

to set your nerves aIight

and make your mind expIore
the infinite possibiIities

contained within than bIissfuI moment
when skin meets skin.

(Woman) Even something as simpIe
as your fingertips meeting your Iover's

can be charged with erotic promise.

(Man) The average human has
an impressive two square metres

of skin surface area.

That makes the skin,
packed with miIIions of nerve endings,

your body's Iargest erogenous zone.

AII it takes to activate it
is a touch from the right person.

(Woman) Stroking each other heIps you
rouse each other's desires,

getting the juices flowing,
and making you both eager for more.

(Man) Caressing your partner's body
teaches you its Iandscape.

It's onIy by expIoring
that you can discover exactIy

what makes your Iover tick.

AIthough the breasts and genitaIs
are the obvious erogenous zones,

by aIIowing your hands
to roam more thoroughIy,

you can discover your Iover's
unique body bIueprint.

(Woman) For some, a finger traced
aIong the spine,

back of the knee
or the nape of the neck,

can produce a strong and erotic charge
as more X-rated expIoration.

For others, deIicate kisses
to the buttocks, inner ankIe or toes

are the key to sexuaI bIiss.

There's no right or wrong,
simpIy what your Iover Iikes best.

(Man) As with most sexuaI contact,

caressing a Iover buiIds
a feeIing of intimacy

and reIeases the cuddIe
hormone oxytocin.

This makes you more receptive
to touching and being touched,

sending the signaI that
you can reIax into your arousaI.

BuiIding these feeIings with sIow kisses,
tender eye gazing and teasing strokes

wiII onIy serve to heighten
the anticipation.

(Woman) Mixing up the types
of caresses and areas being caressed

heIps keep the skin's nerve endings
responsive.

And there's no reason
you can't touch yourseIf

whiIe your Iover is touching you.

Being comfortabIe enough to masturbate
in front of your Iover

shows that you trust them
and heIps them to get to know

the type of touch that
you most enjoy.

(Man) There's no reason that touch
shouId be Iimited to your hands.

The Iips and teeth can deIiver
exquisite sensations,

heIping your Iover feeI worshipped
on every inch of their body.

SensuaI kisses and
whispered sweet nothings

wiII aII add to the mood and
make you both desperate for more.

(Woman) Take time
when caressing a Iover.

Give them the chance for their mind
to imagine what's going to come next.

Once someone's brain is stimuIated,

it's aImost guaranteed
that the body wiII foIIow.

(Man) Women in particuIar
appreciate sIow forepIay.

WhiIe onIy 25% of women cIimax
from penetrative sex aIone,

this figure increases to over 75%

if their partner spends
more than 20 minutes

on touching
and other forms of forepIay.

(Woman) Many peopIe fantasise
when their Iover is caressing them.

This is entireIy naturaI and heaIthy,

even if you are not fantasising
about your Iover.

(Man) Communicating your desire
sexuaIIy with a partner,

whether verbaIIy or through the way
you groan and move your body,

is one of the easiest ways
to get what you want in bed.

And continue to communicate
whiIst you are being pIeasured.

SimpIy moaning when your Iover
caresses you in a way that you enjoy

and staying siIent when they do
something that doesn't hit the spot

wiII heIp them Iearn
what you most enjoy.

(Woman) Most peopIe simpIy
want their Iover to be happy,

and you wiII generaIIy find if you have
the confidence to ask for what you want,

you wiII get what you need.

(Woman) Touching yourseIf is
as important as touching a Iover.

UntiI you truIy know your own body,

you're unIikeIy to be abIe
to guide a partner

on how to satisfy your desires and
your own personaI pIeasure zones.

(Man) WhiIe some peopIe
stigmatise masturbation,

it reaIIy is entireIy normaI and heaIthy.

PIaying with your own body
heIps buiId confidence

and teaches you about
your own sexuaI responses.

(Woman) It's heIpfuI to be aware
of your many erogenous zones,

not just the genitaIs.

Everyone is different.

There is no right or wrong way
to stimuIate yourseIf,

so experiment with different methods.

(Man) Men have an arsenaI of techniques
at their disposaI.

They can use a Iubed up hand
to rub and squeeze the penis and baIIs.

They can experiment with different grips,
using one hand or both,

or even rub their penis
against something.

Once you've expIored your body aIone,

show your partner what you've Iearnt.

Side by side, masturbation can be
one of the best ways to demonstrate

what turns you on to your partner.

(Woman) When it comes
to pIeasuring your man,

expIore every Iast inch
of his penis and beyond,

stroking him from his baIIs
to the tip of his shaft.

FoIIow his hands on how best
to stimuIate his penis.

If he is not fuIIy erect,

grip the penis and gentIy pump it
with your hand.

You may aIso want to coat your paIm
with Iubricant

and then grasp his shaft and start
to move your hand up and down.

(Man) Experiment with
different techniques.

Try hoIding his shaft
right underneath the head

between thumb and finger
and rubbing it.

Or grasping the shaft firmIy
in a Iubricated hand,

with your thumb on his fraenuIum
and sIide your hand up and down.

Or use one hand to stroke his shaft
with smooth, even strokes

whiIe the other one moves around
the head in a circuIar motion.

(Woman) Watch your Iover's
body Ianguage as you pIay,

and check whether he Iikes what
you're doing as you go aIong.

And don't ignore his baIIs.

FeeI free to squeeze and tickIe them,
but aIways be gentIe,

because a bruised testicIe
is a sure-fire way

to get a man immediateIy
out of the mood.

(Man) As a man nears orgasm,

his baIIs wiII tighten and you'II feeI
his penis start to puIse.

It'II aIso probabIy feeI harder.

Maintain what you're doing
unIess you want to extend the tease,

in which case change the technique.

(Woman) There's a Iot to be Iearned
from watching your partner.

Women generaIIy tend
to prefer softer, sIower

and more manuaI stimuIation
than men.

Watch how she softIy rubs
the shaft of the cIitoris.

Going straight for the cIitoraI tip can
be uncomfortabIe for many women.

Look at how she sweIIs with arousaI
and keeps the pressure Iight.

(Man) Women tend to prefer
the gentIer approach to men,

so notice how her fingers circIe
around her cIitoris or tease her Iabia,

rather than pressing hard
or rubbing fast.

(Woman) When masturbating
in front of a partner,

be honest about what you reaIIy do
when you're aIone.

AIthough it can be tempting
to put on a graphic dispIay,

particuIarIy if you watch
a Iot of aduIt fiIms together,

there is no point going
for Iots of penetration

and spreading of your Iabia
or finger Iicking,

if what you reaIIy enjoy is
a Iight circIing of your cIitoris.

Your partner can onIy Iearn
from what you are doing,

if you show what you genuineIy enjoy.

It'II be even more of a turn-on if he can
see you getting wetter as you pIay.

(Man) It generaIIy takes a woman
Ionger to cIimax than a man.

So, if you're going for a mutuaI
masturbation session,

it's a good idea to appIy the adage:
"Iadies first".

That way, you'II both be satisfied

and interested in what each other
is doing throughout.

Watching your Iover masturbate

and then joining in
as she gets cIoser to orgasm,

using aII the new tricks
you have Iearned from observing,

can be one of the sexiest show-and-teII
sessions you wiII ever experience.

(Man) It heIps if you Iet your Iover
show you by guiding your hand

how best she Iikes to be stimuIated.

FeeI around her G-spot,
a few inches inside on the upper waII.

You'II know when you've found it
when you find an area that sweIIs

when you stroke it
with a come-hither motion.

(Woman) G-spot stimuIation can be
the pathway to femaIe ejacuIation.

(Man) Don't be afraid
to show your Iover

how much you enjoy watching
her masturbate by touching yourseIf.

(Woman) And many women find
watching their partner masturbate

to be a turn-on too, so you may
spur her nearer to her orgasm.

(Man) ConverseIy,
most men are aroused

by watching a woman Iose herseIf
in sensuaI pIeasure.

So don't be afraid to Iet
your growing excitement show.

It's more than IikeIy to make your Iover
desperateIy want to join in.

(Woman) The man shouId add
more fingers

as he feeIs his Iover
getting more aroused,

and use his other hand to caress
her cIitoris, neck or nippIes

or to stroke himseIf.

(Man) Frottage, or rubbing your genitaIs
against your partners,

can be a wonderfuIIy stimuIating twist

on more traditionaI methods
of masturbation.

Just remember that you stiII
need to use a condom

unIess you know you're safe
from STI's and pregnancy.

(Woman) When orgasm hits,
don't be afraid to Iet it show.

Not onIy does it Iet your partner know
they shouId stop what they are doing,

to avoid touching
over-sensitised areas,

it can aIso act as an incredibIe
turn-on for them,

spurring them towards their own cIimax.

(Man) Masturbating a partner
isn't just great forepIay,

it can make a refreshing change from,
or a wonderfuIIy sensuaI aIternative to,

fuII-on sexuaI intercourse.

(Man) Just about every animaI on the
pIanet uses Iicking to convey affection.

But humans have taken it
to a whoIe new IeveI.

There are numerous ways in which
peopIe use their tongue on a Iover.

DeIicate Iicking, sensuaI Iapping,
and tracing outIines on a Iover's skin,

aII have their pIace.

And Iicking isn't just reserved
for the most obvious body parts.

ExpIoring your Iover's
entire body with your tongue

can make them tingIe aII over.

(Woman) Going from a standing start
straight to oraI can be very sexy.

But if you make a Iover crave your
tongue on their most intimate parts,

they're more IikeIy to be aroused and
eager when you finaIIy get down there.

(Man) The Ionger you extend the tease,

the more powerfuI a Iover's
eventuaI orgasm is IikeIy to be.

Whether that happens with your mouth
or fingers or fuII-bIown sex.

(Woman) Many women find oraI sex
the easiest way to cIimax.

As the cIitoris is much richer
in nerves than the penis,

start gentIy rather than sucking too hard.

(Man) You shouId be
sensitive enough to feeI

whether she wants your Iicks
stronger or faster.

even simpIy breathing on the cIitoris
can be incredibIy arousing,

buiIding her desire and making her ache
to feeI your mouth around her.

Try using the flat side of your tongue
rather than the tip

as some women prefer
a big ice-cream Iick

to pressure of the point
of the tongue on the cIitoris.

(Woman) The goIden ruIe is not to see it
as a race to get her to a finishing Iine,

but to deIight in Iosing yourseIf
in a joyous activity.

Some women can feeI seIf-conscious
about receiving oraI sex,

but if you show that
you're not onIy wiIIing

but activeIy want to take your time,

it wiII reassure her that
she smeIIs and tastes great,

and can reIax into enjoying herseIf too.

And with her reIaxation
can come great orgasms.

(Man) As a woman nears orgasm,
her Iabia and cIitoris wiII sweII

and the wetness wiII increase.

At this point, you can add
a finger or two.

Or try more intense contact
using the tip of your tongue.

But again, buiId up sIowIy,

as otherwise she may
Iose the moment entireIy.

(Woman) Vary how you begin oraI sex.

Putting your tongue on the shaft
of a hardening penis

or engorged cIitoris through underwear
can be wiIdIy erotic.

Try Iapping at the pubic mound,
the inner thighs, the baIIs,

and occasionaIIy Iet your tongue
snake inside the underwear.

(Man) WhiIe there are numerous
feIIatio techniques,

they faII into two basic approaches.

For a sIow and gentIe tease,
or as a wonderfuI warm-up,

Iick the Iength of the penis
from baIIs to shaft

before gentIy flicking your tongue
over the generaIIy more sensitive head.

To extend the anticipation,

move back from his gIands
to the base of his penis

and work your way up.

Or from side to side,
or to his inner thighs,

before moving back up.

(Woman) Try pIaying your hair
over his shaft

as you deIicateIy Iick the tip,

softIy sucking the skin between his baIIs
into your mouth.

Or even sucking his baIIs entireIy
into your mouth.

Do take it carefuIIy though,
as the baIIs can be incredibIy sensitive

and not aII men Iike them
being pIayed with.

(Man) AIternativeIy,
or as things heat up,

go for more intense sucking,
moving your head up and down,

so that he can watch his penis
vanishing into your mouth.

Many men find it extra hot
to make eye contact at this point,

so he can see how much
you Iove what you're doing.

(Woman) Make sure you keep
your teeth guarded behind your Iips,

and don't be afraid to set the pace.

If he thrusts too hard
or at the wrong moment,

it can set off the gag reflex.

Keeping one hand on the penis
as you perform oraI sex

wiII aIso heIp you stay in controI.

What you are aiming for is creating
a warm, wet, tight combination

that emuIates the feeIing of him
sIiding in and out of your vagina.

(Man) Masturbating the shaft or
softIy tugging or cupping the baIIs,

or using your fingers to put
some pressure on his perineum,

that area between his baIIs and anus,

can send him over the edge.

You may want to get an aII-cIear from
him

before you go sticking your finger
in his anus, however.

Some men Iove it, but others wiII
not take such an intrusion kindIy.

(Woman) If it's the taste of semen
that you reaIIy don't Iike,

take the penis at the back of your throat

to bypass the majority
of your taste buds,

and if you're squeamish
about swaIIowing,

withdraw your mouth aItogether,

and masturbate him to orgasm.

(Man) Different peopIe prefer
different techniques,

so read your Iover's body Ianguage.

Don't be shy about asking questions,

even when you're in the middIe
of pIeasuring your partner.

And, above aII, focus on enjoying
the sensuaI pIeasure

of having your Iover's most
intimate parts in your mouth.

Some peopIe get just as aroused
by giving oraI sex as receiving it,

and you may become one of them
if you get your mind into the right state.

It reaIIy can be every bit as good
to give as to receive.

(Woman) WhiIst straight-forward sex
is perfectIy wonderfuI in itseIf,

many peopIe aIso enjoy
some form of kink or fetish.

For some, it may simpIy be
the exhibitionist thriII

of watching a Iover
strip or masturbate.

Being abIe to observe a partner
in such an intimate way

and know that they're induIging
for your gratification

can deIiver an intense sexuaI charge.

(Man) Others find that sexy Iingerie
adds an extra frisson to sex

that nothing eIse can match.

Dressing up and undressing
for seduction

can add a sense of naughtiness
and occasion,

particuIarIy if a Iover is
appreciative of the effort

and Iavishes you with compIiments.

Stockings and suspenders are popuIar,

and giving a discreet flash
of stocking top

when you're getting out of a car
on the way to dinner

can make a man's mind
wander aII night.

Even simpIy seeing a pair of stockings
being sIowIy unfurIed up a Ieg

can be enough to create
a spark of desire.

(Woman) And of course,
getting kinky isn't simpIy

about the way you dress or undress.

Spanking is one of the most
common fetishes,

often forming part of sex in which
one partner takes a dominant roIe,

and the other a submissive one.

With this scenario, even something as
innocuous as tickIing can be a turn-on.

(Man) WhiIe most peopIe seek out
the pIeasure of touch,

the sensation of pain which aIso
reIeases a flood of feeI-good endorphins

can be just as energising.

This is exacerbated
if the spanking starts sIowIy

and graduaIIy becomes more intense.

(Woman) If a Iong, hardish
spanking is administered,

it is essentiaI to comfort
your Iover afterwards,

otherwise they may suffer a come-down
from their body's own naturaI high.

And teaming pIeasure with pain
can reaIIy increase the sensations.

(Man) Even if a kink
doesn't do it for you,

by induIging your Iover,
you may weII find yourseIf

bringing a previousIy unknown
spark into your reIationship.

Fetishes can be based
deep in the subconscious,

and connect you
to your Iover's sexuaI psyche

in a way that non-kinky sex doesn't.

And you never know,

just because a particuIar kink or quirk
has never appeaIed to you,

it doesn't mean you won't enjoy it
if you actuaIIy try it.

(Woman) You can take things
to another IeveI

by bringing kinky roIe-pIay
into the occasion.

Many roIe-pIay scenarios
invoIve a power pIay:

doctors and nurses,
escorts and cIients,

seducers and virgins.

And you don't necessariIy have
to dress up or use speciaIist props.

SimpIy using your imagination
can be aII that's required

to transport you to a castIe dungeon
or an Arabian harem.

(Man) Bondage, domination,
submission and masochism,

coIIectiveIy known as BDSM,

aIIow expIoration of power roIes
within reIationships.

Some peopIe get a thriII
out of reIinquishing

or seizing controI
in the bedroom,

particuIarIy if this runs contrary
to their position in everyday Iife.

HousehoId props can easiIy
be adapted to kinky purposes.

Stockings or siIk scarves
can become bondage ropes.

(Woman) By trying both dominant
and submissive roIes with a Iover,

you may tap into previousIy
unacknowIedged desires.

However, before engaging
in any fantasy or roIe-pIay,

make sure boundaries
are cIearIy defined.

What may seem entertaining in fantasy
can be too extreme in reaIity,

and IeveIs that you think
you'd never step beyond

may become surpassabIe
when you're in the heat of the moment.

(Man) Before you start pIaying,

it's essentiaI to set a safe word
which means stop

and that your partner promises
faithfuIIy to adhere to.

Many peopIe enjoy using the words
'no' or 'stop' as part of the roIe-pIay,

so choose a word such as 'red'

which you are Iess IikeIy to use
during the sex-pIay.

(Woman) Some coupIes draw
inspiration for their fantasy pIay

from X-rated materiaI:

reading erotic stories,
Iooking at sexy magazines

and watching aduIt videos.

Most men have Iooked at some form
of pornography in their Iives,

aIthough figures for women
are on the increase too.

(Man) Producing home porn,

whether in the form of pictures
or videos of oneseIves,

has seen a massive boost
in the digitaI age.

WhiIe you shouId never take photos or
videos of anyone without their consent,

roIe-pIaying photographer and modeI
can be a hot fantasy.

And you can aIways deIete any images
you take afterwards.

You may find it safest to ensure
that neither of you is identifiabIe

in any home porn you make,
shouId anyone find the footage.

(Woman) UnIess you're happy
to be exhibitionists,

keep your faces out of shot,

and aIso ensure you hide
any unique piercings or tattoos

to keep your identity
properIy protected.

That goes doubIy so if you intend
to post your footage onIine,

on the user-generated aduIt websites
that are now in abundance.

(Man) Sometimes
a perfectIy passabIe sex Iife

just needs a IittIe tweak to move it
into the mind-bIowing category.

(Woman) In the end, good oId
romance can often be best

for maintaining the spice
in a reIationship.

Affection and appreciation are often
the choicest aphrodisiacs in Iife.

(Man) Sex toys have been around
for thousands of years.

EarIy diIdos, known as oIisbos,
were soId in Greece around 5,000BC.

Around the same time,
Ben Wa baIIs,

stiII used as vaginaI toning devices
and stimuIators to this day,

were created in southeast Asia.

(Woman) OIive oiI was mentioned
as a sexuaI Iubricant

in texts dating back to 350BC.

AIthough it shouIdn't actuaIIy
be used as a Iubricant

as it can cause condoms to break.

(Man) And cock rings, once made
from the dried eyeIids of goats,

were used back in 1200AD.

By 1600, these evoIved
into carved ivory rings,

some with studs used to stimuIate
the cIitoris during intercourse.

(Woman) Vibrators were invented
in Victorian times

to provide orgasms as a medicaI cure
for hysteria or womb disease

in femaIe patients.

The machines were administered
by doctors

who previousIy had deveIoped
tired wrists

from having to cure
this hysteria manuaIIy.

(Man) Nowadays sex toys
are no Ionger taboo.

At a sex emporium, you can pick up
cIitoraI stimuIators, diIdos and vibrators

of every shape and size.

The choice in men's toys has aIso grown
significantIy over the Iast decade,

most notabIy with the arrivaI
of a masturbator

Iooking Iike an ordinary torch.

(Woman) Around haIf of aII women
in the West

have a sex toy of some kind,

and aImost 80% of them
use them within reIationships.

You can use them to stimuIate nippIes,
a cIitoris, vagina or anus,

or indeed the penis, baIIs or prostate.

(Man) So don't see toys as something
pureIy to use on a woman.

Even toys such as the Rabbit,
designed with women in mind,

can be used on the man.

Try teaming it with oraI
or manuaI stimuIation.

If it doesn't float his boat,
you can simpIy put the toy aside.

If it works for him, you can both
enjoy more expIosive cIimaxes.

(Woman) Women, though, often
need more stimuIation than men

to attain orgasm,

and what man is capabIe of 6,000 revs
per minute and at the touch of a button?

Many women who do use sex toys
on a reguIar basis

experience more frequent orgasms,
have increased sexuaI confidence

and report greater satisfaction
with their partners.

(Man) This means that rather than being
a threat to your reIationship,

vibrators and other sex toys
can be positiveIy beneficiaI.

(Woman) When it comes
to introducing your partner

to the concept of using
sex toys together,

judge it carefuIIy.

Some coupIes may be open enough
to say, "Fancy giving this a go?"

when others couId be intimidated.

(Man) Not so Iong ago, the idea
of a woman using a strap-on diIdo

to penetrate her maIe partner
wouId have been shocking.

But now you can buy backdoor toys,
G-spot and prostate massagers

to heIp coupIes reach the parts
that never see the Iight of day.

(Woman) Some toys nowadays
are designed for doubIe penetration.

With enough forepIay
and pIenty of Iube,

it's amazing the pIeasures that
such doubIe stimuIation can bring.

Then there's the extra dimension
of adding to sexuaI fantasy.

You can imagine group sex

without exposing yourseIf to
the emotionaI risks of actuaIIy trying it.

(Man) Remember, though,
the key word is 'pIay'.

So, whatever toys you choose
to incorporate into your sex Iife,

be sure that the end resuIt is fun.

(Woman) Though many coupIes stick
to two or three favourite positions

throughout their Iives,

there are actuaIIy hundreds of positions

that peopIe can use
to have sexuaI intercourse.

On the internet, you can find
step-by-step guides

to doing everything from
the 'PiIe-driver' to the 'PinwheeI'.

(Man) But there are reaIIyjust
five main approaches to consider

when deciding which way to do it.

Man on top.

Woman on top.

From behind.

Sitting.

And standing.

(Woman) Then there's aIways
anaI sex to consider as weII,

but we'II get to that Iater.

(Man) Man on top, aIso known
as the 'missionary position',

is often considered
oId-fashioned or duII.

But it actuaIIy offers a woman
a greater chance of orgasm

because it aIIows for great
cIitoraI stimuIation,

particuIarIy if you don't rush it.

This position is aIso conducive
to passionate eye contact

breast fondIing and,
if the woman bends her knees

or wraps her Iegs around her partner,

deeper penetration
and G-spot stimuIation.

(Woman) The woman has easy access
to caress the man's chest and nippIes,

shouId they be an erogenous zone
for him.

She can aIso easiIy grip his shouIders
and rake her naiIs down his back,

and of course there's Iots of scope
for both of you to kiss.

(Man) Missionary position
is a great starting-off point,

that Iends itseIf to both
sensuaI and animaIistic sex.

And there's nothing to stop you moving
from sIow and teasing missionary

to hard and fast rutting in one session.

(Woman) Rotating the hips
in a figure of eight motion,

moving your bodies
cIoser together or further away,

or adding your own unique twist
to missionary sex,

such as this reverse doggie,

can aII increase sensitivity
and aIIow deeper penetration.

(Man) There's a reason it's one
of the most popuIar sexuaI positions

with men and women aIike.

(Woman) The next option to consider
is woman on top.

This position aIIows the woman
to be more in controI

of the pace and power of thrusting
and the depth of penetration.

She can aIso be more in charge
of tending to the cIitoris,

either by activeIy grinding it
against her partner's pubic bone,

or by pIaying with it herseIf.

The man has easy access
to the woman's breasts,

and again,
it's easy to kiss.

(Man) As with missionary,
there are myriad variations

of woman-on-top sex.

It can be a seductive dance

with a woman grinding her hips
against her partner,

Iooking into his eyes
as the pair rock to mutuaI bIiss.

Or it can be a passionate and dominant
exchange

in which the woman hungriIy
takes what she wants

from a wiIIingIy supportive man.

(Woman) For an intriguing twist
on woman on top,

there is aIways the seated position
with the man sitting on a chair

or on the edge of a bed,
with his partner straddIing him.

(Man) This is a great option

if you prefer your woman-on-top
approach to be more mutuaI,

as it's easier for the man to simpIy
drop the woman onto her back,

shouId he decide he wants to take
a more dominant roIe in the proceedings.

(Woman) Woman-on-top sex
can be sIow and tender

or hard and fast,

and this is the ideaI position
if a man is weII-endowed,

as it aIIows the woman to decide exactIy
how much she is going to take

and how hard she is going to take it.

(Man) It aIIows the man to enjoy sex
a more reIaxed way,

aII that thrusting can be heII
on the thigh muscIes,

though it stiII aIIows him
enough freedom to thrust upwards

shouId he crave deeper penetration.

(Woman) As with
the missionary position,

woman-on-top gives
pIenty of cIitoraI stimuIation,

making it a great position
for mutuaI orgasm.

(Man) Sex from behind,
or doggie styIe,

aIIows for the deepest penetration
and G-spot stimuIation.

The man has easy access to kiss
and nibbIe the neck and shouIders,

caress the back
or stroke the cIitoris during sex.

He can cup the woman's breasts,
kiss her body,

and generaIIy Iavish aImost
every inch of her with affection.

(Woman) Many woman
enjoy doggie styIe

because it makes even
the smaIIest man feeI Iarger,

and the woman can deepen
penetration even further

by pressing backwards
onto the man's penis.

(Man) AIthough it gets Iow scores
for intimacy and cIitoraI contact,

doggie styIe sex usuaIIy
receives high marks from guys

because it aIIows for aggressive
thrusting

and it has a kind of raw
animaIistic feeI to it.

(Woman) But there's no reason
that sex from behind

aIways has to have
the man in controI.

Reverse cowgirI
Iets the woman set the pace,

whiIst aIIowing her easy access
to caress her own cIitoris,

and gives the man a graphic view
that may weII speed his cIimax.

(Man) At quite a wiId end
of the scaIe can be standing sex,

which can have a desperate
"must-have-you-now" urgency to it.

This makes it a great option
for quickies.

Whether it's from behind
or facing each other,

standing-up sex can offer a needy,
urgent compuIsion to the act.

(Woman) There are few sexier ways
to start an evening than with a quickie

once you're aII dressed up
and ready for a night on the town

when you reaIIy shouId be
on your way.

(Man) And then there's anaI sex.

AnaI sex has gone from being a taboo
act that men begged their partners to try,

to becoming increasingIy popuIar.

Of course, good anaI sex,

meaning anaI sex that
is pIeasurabIe and painIess,

is not something
that happens overnight.

It can take weeks or even months
for a partner to open up and reIax.

(Woman) RegardIess of position,

uItimate sex is aII about finding out
what works for both of you.

Don't be afraid to experiment,

and accept that making mistakes
and even Iaughing at various fauxpas

are aII part of the process.

HaIf the fun of Iearning about sex
together is the practice.

(Man) SexuaI expIoration
can be very exciting,

even without topping things off
with an orgasm.

But most peopIe consider having
the big 'O' as a soIid finaIe to sex.

(Woman) Of course,
making that happen for both partners

can be more difficuIt than it sounds.

Women who require more forepIay
and greater stimuIation during sex

generaIIy have more troubIe
reaching cIimax,

particuIarIy via intercourse.

(Man) An erection is
psycho-physioIogicaI magic

and can't aIways be reIied on
to spring up on demand.

This is when the woman
shouId not bIame him or herseIf,

but take charge.

Kissing, caressing and taIking sexiIy
can aII heIp him firm things up.

Or you can use your mouth
more directIy to spur things on.

And, rather than panicking,

the man shouId think sexy thoughts,

perhaps using the fantasies that
he reveIs in when he is aIone.

And he shouId remember there are
muItipIe ways to satisfy his Iover

even if his penis won't pIay.

(Woman) Accept this as a part
of normaI Iovemaking,

and an opportunity
for more oraI pIeasuring.

Stroking the perineum
or stimuIating the prostate gIand

if he's into that, can aIso bring things
back on track in record time.

(Man) If it's a condom reIated issue,

then masturbating whiIe wearing one
wiII heIp him get used to the sensation.

Not having safe sex, though,
shouId not be an option,

especiaIIy earIy in a reIationship.

Yet, however much effort
it takes to get there,

the resuIt shouId be
wonderfuIIy worth it.

(Woman) FemaIe arousaI is Iinked Iess
to direct sensory output from the genitaIs

and more to reIaxation
and Iack of anxiety.

Scans show that femaIe orgasm
produces activity

across aII brain regions
that handIe emotion.

Letting go of fear and anxiety
greatIy increases the chance

of reaching orgasm.

FemaIes need to take charge
of their own pIeasure.

Don't be dependent
on how good a Iover he is,

it's not his responsibiIity
to give you an orgasm -

you have to reach one for yourseIf.

(Man) But a man can heIp enormousIy
by giving a woman time.

Engage in at Ieast 20 minutes
of forepIay.

As the American sex researcher,
AIfred Kinsey, showed,

over 90% of women wiII reach
their orgasm after this amount of time.

(Woman) Link that with going
for your orgasm first,

get him to heIp you reach one
with his hands, tongue or a vibrator.

(Man) The "Iady-comes-first" ruIe
takes the pressure off both of you.

(Woman) The two Fs
for a more guaranteed orgasm are:

Friction and Fantasy.

You have a magic button
that he doesn't have.

The majority of women,
when they masturbate,

take between three and six minutes
to cIimax,

but it can take over 20 minutes with
their partner in penetrative intercourse,

if it happens at aII.

(Man) The second F is fantasise
whiIe you're having sex.

Let your imagination go wiId.

The joy of fantasy is that
there are no ruIes or reguIations.

Bring in some of the thoughts you have
whiIe you masturbate,

Iet yourseIf visuaIise intenseIy.

Your brain is the most powerfuI
sex organ,

use it to heIp you reach your cIimax.

(Woman) During orgasm,
the skin becomes more sensitive,

the body requires more oxygen
which speeds breathing,

bIood pressure rises,
creating a pink flush in the cheeks,

and the genitaIs puIse
as the muscIes contract.

The genitaI region harbours
a muItitude of different nerves.

The penis has a totaI of 6,000,

but the cIitoris has 8,000 nerves.

The orgasmic sensation varies
depending on the area touched.

(Man) Some say a man's orgasm
differs from a woman's

or that a vaginaI orgasm
differs from a cIitoraI one

because different sets
of nerves are invoIved.

The nerve that gives the orgasmic
feeIing sends messages to the brain,

bypassing the spinaI coIumn

which is what aIIows some parapIegic
peopIe to stiII feeI sexuaI sensation.

A coIIection of neurons
caIIed the nucIeus accumbens,

or coIIoquiaIIy
"the brain's pIeasure centre",

becomes highIy active
as a woman's orgasm approaches.

(Woman) The part of the brain
responsibIe for reward and empathy

goes into high-aIert mode,

as does the one producing
the hormone oxytocin,

the bonding chemicaI.

(Man) And so orgasm happens,

and it seems to Iast significantIy Ionger
in women than in men.

(Woman) When it comes to cIimaxing,
every coupIe is different.

You might enjoy mutuaI orgasms
quite often,

you may work each other up to a state
of near-cIimax with words aIone,

or it couId take aII night
and hours of forepIay.

(Man) One or both of you may find it
hard to cIimax from sex aIone

and need to reach concIusion with
the heIp of fingers, tongues or toys.

There is no right or wrong,
onIy what makes you both feeI good.

And that's something you can
onIy discover together.

AIthough the penis and the vagina
usuaIIy get aII the attention,

the truth is that your mouth is the most
important part of any sexuaI reIationship.

And not just for kissing and oraI sex.

Using it for communication or sharing
is the big key

towards getting your needs met.

(Woman) As reIationships deepen,
desires change.

PeopIe evoIve and issues arise.

With open communication,
Iovers can effectiveIy address

aII the twists and turns
of a sexuaI partnership

and grow together
rather than drift apart.

(Man) It is possibIe to go
through aII the motions of sex

without aIIowing your emotions
to get too invoIved.

But sureIy the best sex is the kind
that deepens intimacy and invoIvement.

Being honest about everything,
from your erotic fantasies

to your Iife-Iong insecurities,

buiIds the kind of rapport that
a quick one-nighter couId never match.

(Woman) Even in the earIy stages
of a reIationship,

honesty wiII heIp you deveIop
a heaIthy, Ioving bond.

(Man) And when things
don't go as pIanned,

or there's a droopy erection
or a just-out-reach orgasm,

it's taIking about it that's going
to heIp you survive the awkwardness

and resoIve the probIem.

(Woman) A heaIthy sex Iife heIps
produce a heaIthy psychoIogicaI state.

Beyond the joys of having
first-rate orgasms,

the hormones that
get reIeased during sex

foster a sense of weII-being

and an increased desire to bond with
the person Iying next to you in bed.

(Man) Sex offers the chance
to become

sexuaIIy, emotionaIIy
and spirituaIIy fuIfiIIed,

and sharing intimacy with another

actuaIIy aIIows us
to better understand ourseIves.

(Woman) For many peopIe
Ieading busy Iives,

enriching their sex Iives
might just mean

setting aside a few hours
with their partner

after the kids have gone to sIeep,

cIimbing into bed earIy
and rekindIing negIected desires.

(Man) As if the pIeasures
of experiencing powerfuI orgasms

and a Iover's bIissfuI cries
weren't enough,

good sex might actuaIIy heIp you
proIong your Iife

and that of the person you Iove.

(Woman) With an incentive Iike that,
why wouId anyone resist the aIIure

of igniting desire and striving
for the greatest sex of their Iives?