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1
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? It seems today that all you see ?
2
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:08,174
? Is violence in movies and sex on TV ?
3
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:11,844
? But where are those
good old-fashioned values ?
4
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,847
? On which we used to rely? ?
5
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:18,184
? Lucky there's a family guy ?
6
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:21,604
? Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ?
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00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,064
? All the things that make us ?
8
00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:25,024
? Laugh and cry ?
9
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:30,155
? He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ?
10
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- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -
11
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,495
Where's Dad?
12
00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,789
It's office birthdays today
at the brewery.
13
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,791
Ever since your father
was put in charge,
14
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,918
he's been taking it very seriously.
15
00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:45,920
Okay, Brian, what do you got for me?
16
00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:47,797
Okay, birthday jokes.
17
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:51,425
"We may be colleagues, but
there's no one in your league."
18
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,177
Boy, that's a brick off the backboard.
19
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:54,345
Chris, what do you got?
20
00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:57,098
"I drove the family
to Disneyland for vacation,
21
00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:59,809
"and when we got off
the highway, the sign said,
22
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:03,480
'Disneyland, Left, '
so we drove back home."
23
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:06,148
Chris, that's going in the show.
24
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:07,149
See that, Brian?
25
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,776
Don't be afraid
to pull the heartstrings.
26
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:11,070
Peter, don't you think you might
be putting too much time
27
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,739
into office birthdays
and not enough into your job?
28
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,576
Come on, Lois. It's the one
thing I look forward to at work.
29
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,160
It's the one thing I'm good at.
30
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:20,496
I am to birthdays what J. K. Rowling is
31
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,957
to now-problematic wizard stories.
32
00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:24,959
Perhaps Slytherin
33
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:27,670
or maybe Hufflepuff
34
00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:30,798
or trans women aren't really women.
35
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:34,468
- Wait, what?
- I mean, uh, the first two things.
36
00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:37,597
Okay, who's the next girl or boy?
37
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,266
There's only those two.
38
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:45,438
Who's ready for June birthdays?
39
00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:53,529
? June is bustin' out all over ?
40
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:56,699
? Every birthday boy and girl
who's on the clock ?
41
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,826
? First there's Annie from accounting ?
42
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,578
? Just turned 40, but who's counting? ?
43
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:03,582
? And that old guy Frank
down on the dock ?
44
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,877
Ladies and gentlemen, Leslie Uggams.
45
00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:11,547
? June is bustin' out all over ?
46
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:14,717
? Ah, tole, da, da-doe-da, tinkin' can ?
47
00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:16,552
? All the hanna-manna wishes ?
48
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,304
? And the hanna-wenna fishes ?
49
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:21,557
? Out of all the morning glories
on the spam ?
50
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:24,185
? Because it's June ?
51
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,770
? Da-da-da ?
52
00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:29,398
? Just because it's June, June ?
53
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:32,360
? June! ?
54
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,781
Wait, isn't it November?
55
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:39,576
Who cares? They are marvelous.
56
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:47,124
So I drove my family
down to Disneyland for vacation.
57
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,001
When we got off the highway,
the sign said,
58
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,921
"Disneyland, Left,"
so we drove back home.
59
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,134
Thanks. I wrote that.
60
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,845
Oh, I'll show him.
61
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,933
I own the school paper.
62
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:06,227
Get me dirt on Principal Shepherd's car.
63
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,521
I also own the school car wash.
64
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,232
Myeah. Myeah.
65
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,612
Children, please continue
independent play
66
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:19,990
while I go see
if I just sneezed my tampon out.
67
00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:22,952
Let's see. Any good reads here?
68
00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:24,079
Hmm, what's this?
69
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,748
Hmm.
70
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:30,084
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
71
00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,045
My word, this is brilliant.
72
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,966
Now to find my mark.
73
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,801
Hey, Stewie. What you reading?
74
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:41,178
Something with different cloths to feel?
75
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,806
No, not since, uh... not since COVID.
76
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:47,518
I say, Doug, it appears you've
got something on your shirt.
77
00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:48,936
Is that so?
78
00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:11,167
Ha-ha! There's nothing on your shirt!
79
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,669
It was all a ruse.
80
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:20,259
Doug, are you okay?
81
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,802
Oh, my God, what happened?
82
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,096
- Who did this to you?
- Stewie.
83
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:27,475
- Stewart Griffin-Suarez, is that true?
- No!
84
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,476
And thank you for that.
85
00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:29,727
Rupert and I decided to hyphenate.
86
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:32,313
I hope it doesn't make me look
like too much of a pushover.
87
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,273
Now, where was I? Oh, yes.
88
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,733
Screw it.
89
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:37,026
Yes, I hit him.
90
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:38,736
And it was glorious.
91
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:41,113
This is your third strike, Stewie.
92
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,740
That means no more time-outs.
93
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,116
You get a detention.
94
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,367
Detention?
95
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,036
You can't scare me.
96
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,538
The only thing that scares me
is a sudden loud noise,
97
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,165
even if it's only spoken.
98
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,750
We now return to Val Kilmer
99
00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:54,084
and Robert Downey Jr.
100
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,252
- In Kiss Kiss...
- Ooh!
101
00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:56,755
...Bang Bang!
102
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:02,176
So, how did the birthday thing go?
103
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:03,469
Amazing, Lois.
104
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,387
I've even been asked to do a TED Talk.
105
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,516
What is a birthday?
106
00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:10,810
I think it can best
be understood by breaking down
107
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,146
the word "birth" and "day."
108
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,315
Where the hell is everyone?
109
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,818
Ah, okay. Now it makes sense.
110
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:25,157
Bye-bye, Stewie.
111
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,450
Yeah, buh-bye, whatever.
112
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:27,827
Stewie, where are you headed?
113
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,411
You've got detention this morning.
114
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:30,746
That's where I'm headed.
115
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:33,582
Stewie, no, detention
isn't in preschool.
116
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,543
It's in the elementary school building.
117
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,712
The elementary school?
118
00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,548
But that's where the big kids are.
119
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:44,969
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I ruins y'all's reveal?
120
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,304
Let me go ahead
and scooch back a little.
121
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,807
Beep, beep, beep.
122
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:55,188
Oh, no! Look at that big scary school!
123
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:10,160
My God, these kids have their teeth.
124
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,872
And where are their pacifiers?
How do they ever sleep?
125
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,582
Detention kids are scary.
126
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:17,335
Especially that fourth grader
writing on the board.
127
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:22,882
Ah, that is such a load of
128
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,759
Truth, a wonderful load of truth.
129
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:32,808
All right, birthdays.
130
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,435
Whoop, whoop!
131
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:36,061
What the hell is this?
132
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,813
It's happy birthday
133
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,189
To you.
134
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:40,524
I didn't approve this.
135
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:41,859
Oh, yeah? Well, who the hell are
136
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,110
You-you?
137
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,486
I'm Preston Lloyd,
138
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,947
the new manager of the brewery
and your boss.
139
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,574
Is that true-true?
140
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:52,912
Yes. And I've been charged with
improving brewery productivity.
141
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,831
And it has become clear to me
that the best way to start is
142
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,834
by canceling office birthdays,
effective immediately.
143
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,544
I don't know how to stop
on roller skates,
144
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,964
so hang on until I run out of momentum.
145
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,135
What?!
146
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:15,225
But, Mr. Lloyd, you can't
cancel office birthdays.
147
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,102
I'm pretty sure I can.
148
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:20,397
Mr. Griffin, I like
focused, productive employees.
149
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:23,317
But this is a brewery.
Beer is supposed to be fun.
150
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,527
I've been sober for 46 years.
151
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,404
- How old are you?
- 46.
152
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:29,448
A brewery is not about getting drunk.
153
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:30,658
It's a business.
154
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,285
I need disciplined,
productive employees.
155
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,745
Can you be that, Mr. Griffin?
156
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,080
Oh, heavens, no.
157
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,998
Then we're going to have a problem.
158
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:40,542
But, Mr. Lloyd, you can't
take away office birthdays.
159
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:41,585
People love 'em.
160
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,506
If it means that much
to the employees, fine.
161
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:46,590
Yay!
162
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,175
- I'll do them.
- Aw.
163
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:50,302
Attention, employees.
164
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,012
This is Mr. Lloyd, your manager.
165
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:53,138
I will now resume
166
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,182
the office birthday celebration
from earlier.
167
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:59,979
Helen Daily, date of birth 12/10/1968.
168
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:04,441
Martin Burke, date of birth 12/13/1969.
169
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:07,611
J.H. Christ, 12/25...
170
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:10,864
zero, zero, zero, zero.
171
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:13,575
You now have two minutes
to consume cake.
172
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,631
Hey, do you know where I can
get a pacifier in this place?
173
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,674
I'm jonesing.
174
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,718
Anyone hears you say that in here,
175
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:32,177
you'll get your ass kicked.
176
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:35,389
You're the "something
on your shirt" kid, right?
177
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:36,473
How did you know?
178
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:39,393
Well, I make it my business to know.
179
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:41,478
You got purdy lips.
180
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,230
Why, thank you. It's a new serum.
181
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,816
Move over, lip balms.
The secret is retinol.
182
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,152
Let's talk later.
183
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:52,656
I can't believe the new jerk manager
184
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,033
canceled office birthdays.
185
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,201
It was the one thing in life
I looked forward to.
186
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:59,413
Is this manager
a no-nonsense, button-down man
187
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,373
who's also been in the military?
188
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,167
- How'd you know?
- Mm-hmm.
189
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,252
- Well, what do I do?
- Take it from a lawman,
190
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,588
whenever authorities have tried
to take away something
191
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:09,048
the people find precious,
192
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,633
the people have found ways
around the law.
193
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,511
They always find a way, like nature.
194
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,055
Look at that.
195
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:19,266
Tree bent to keep growing
toward the sun.
196
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:23,188
Anyway, I'm Joe,
and I don't do a lot of these.
197
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,067
Boy, wouldn't you like to know
198
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,360
what those little guys are saying?
199
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:42,706
What's the password?
200
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,292
"Fat man."
201
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:56,053
I'd like to wish
all you birthday boys and girls
202
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,055
a special day with the help of...
203
00:09:58,056 --> 00:09:59,181
The Beatles.
204
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:01,226
One, two, three, hit it.
205
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,150
The boss is coming.
206
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:19,243
And this is our final stop on the tour.
207
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,244
What's this room?
208
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:21,995
Oh, this is an unused meeting room
209
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:23,872
that no one pays attention to.
210
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,457
Ah. Well, then,
211
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:28,169
I suppose there's no need
to pay any attention.
212
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:35,425
Okay, there was an elderly
Jewish family hiding in there,
213
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:37,553
and I don't know what to tell them.
214
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:43,308
Well, Stewie, you've completed
your detention.
215
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,977
What have you learned
from this experience?
216
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,479
That your mother's a whore.
217
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,944
Hey, Stewie. How was your detention?
218
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,280
Brian Griffin, is that really you?
219
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:57,906
Been a long time, it has.
220
00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,158
I saw you this morning.
221
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:02,578
The world's gone and got itself
in a big damn hurry.
222
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:05,122
You lose track of time
on the inside, Brian.
223
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,206
You wouldn't know.
224
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,666
You ain't seen the things I've seen.
225
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,335
Preschool detention?
No, I guess I haven't.
226
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,337
- What'd you do in there?
- Got jacked.
227
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:15,216
- You look exactly the same.
- And yet I got jacked.
228
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:21,054
Okay, time to make this office my own
229
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:24,057
and decorate it
with my prized achievements.
230
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,560
Ah, let's start with
my Big Mouth Billy Bass
231
00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:27,811
with the battery removed
232
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:31,107
so I don't have to be
interrupted by that nonsense.
233
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,318
Ah, my framed ticket stub
234
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:37,404
from opening night of Independence Day.
235
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,199
My Purple Heart.
236
00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:45,829
Today, for a special birthdays treat,
237
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:48,249
I've acquired Marty McFly's amp.
238
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,846
Who's ready to rock birthdays?
239
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,477
There.
240
00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:11,521
A lifetime of
fragilely framed achievements.
241
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:14,943
What the hell?
242
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,324
Mr. Lloyd!
243
00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:23,825
What is going on in here?
244
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,163
Ow! Ow! Aah!
245
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:29,581
Sorry.
246
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:30,916
Aah! That didn't work!
247
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,251
Ow, my bones!
248
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,586
I had a very good rotation guy
work on this.
249
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,255
Ow, though!
250
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,465
Ow! Please stop!
251
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,175
Sorry. Sorry.
I-I don't know what to say.
252
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:42,469
I'll call the guy. I-I don't
know, I don't know what to say.
253
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,054
Griffin, is this some kind of
254
00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:46,306
secret birthday celebration room?
255
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:49,476
I made a decision
to cancel office birthdays,
256
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:51,478
and it was very explicit.
257
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,813
There was nudity?
258
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:56,066
Mr. Griffin, you leave me
no other choice.
259
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,317
You're fired.
260
00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:58,318
Fired?
261
00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:00,487
Can I still get paid and just not come?
262
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:01,655
No.
263
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,615
Well, I guess it's time to say goodbye
264
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,576
to the security guards
whose names I never learned.
265
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,704
Take care, Cap'n.
266
00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:10,372
Stay golden, Chief.
267
00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:12,040
Be well, Buckaroo.
268
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:14,042
Bye, Francesca Louise Allessandro.
269
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:17,212
Say hi to Max and Samuel
and your sister Eloise for me.
270
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:19,589
And good luck with your night courses.
271
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,550
Hey, do you have, like,
a nickname on Instagram?
272
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:23,011
I'm having trouble finding you.
273
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,350
I can't believe you were fired
from the brewery.
274
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,394
I mean, how are we gonna pay our bills?
275
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:33,478
That depends.
276
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,355
When you use Venmo, do they just, like,
277
00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:36,940
believe you that you have the money?
278
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:38,442
No.
279
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:40,277
- Right?
- No.
280
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:42,154
Fine. Maybe they'll take me back
281
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,823
as the Radio City Rockette
with too-big shoes.
282
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,457
Shoes!
283
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,046
Shoes!
284
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:01,006
Should we just get him smaller shoes?
285
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,967
Wouldn't matter. He butters his feet.
286
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,388
Stewie, breakfast!
287
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,235
When did this new slab of beef
get delivered?
288
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:24,279
My name's Chris.
289
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,239
You don't have a name
until I give you one.
290
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:29,409
You're a little young and plump
to be in a place like this.
291
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:30,577
You need a friend.
292
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:33,080
Someone who can provide you
with protection.
293
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,539
I could be your friend.
294
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,167
All we'll need is
a BIC pen and a lighter.
295
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:40,295
Why? So you can burn
a swastika into my butt?
296
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:43,091
Well, you just ruined
the surprise, you goofball.
297
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,681
Oh. Stewie.
298
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,643
What brings you by?
299
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,395
You're gonna give me what I want.
300
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,855
Um, wh-what are you talking about?
301
00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:00,315
You know.
302
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,818
We're doing this, and you're
gonna find a way to enjoy it.
303
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,161
I-I don't like it.
304
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,664
I don't understand what's happening.
305
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:18,208
The three sisters have
a magic hopscotch board
306
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,626
that turns them into superheroes,
307
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:21,837
but only at night
and never if it's raining.
308
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:24,506
It's too complicated and noisy.
309
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,425
Yeah, it is both of those things.
310
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,552
And their cat speaks French.
311
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,682
Yeah. Yeah.
312
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,352
Oh, there you are, Rupert.
313
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:39,688
Funny how I never got
a visit in detention.
314
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:40,773
Not even a letter.
315
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,942
What do you mean
you couldn't find a stamp?
316
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,235
Well, no need to mail it now.
317
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:46,486
Show me the letter.
318
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,155
Show me the damn letter!
319
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:49,990
I met a new friend in detention.
320
00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:51,992
His name is Thomas the Shank Engine.
321
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:54,202
I think it's time you two met.
322
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,912
You want to meet him?
323
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:57,205
What's going on in here?
324
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,374
You don't know
what detention was like, Brian.
325
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,793
I feel like I aged four years in there.
326
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:05,422
On the first day, an older boy
put two fingers on my nose
327
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:08,175
and just took it right off my
face and held it in front of me
328
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:10,218
and said, "I got it. I got your nose."
329
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:11,720
That ever happen to you, Brian?
330
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:14,306
You ever seen your own nose
wiggling between two fingers
331
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,183
right in front of your face?
332
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:17,767
And he never gave it back.
333
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:20,562
Stewie, what's going on in here?
334
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:22,272
Okay, you are coming with me.
335
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:24,733
They've got my nose, Brian.
336
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,943
They've got my nose.
337
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:30,280
They've got my...
338
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:31,406
Ah.
339
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:32,908
This changes everything.
340
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,201
Ooh, bubbles!
341
00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:37,954
Aw, looks like somebody was
overdue for his bath time.
342
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,415
That's why you've been so cranky.
343
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:44,085
All right, after this, we'll get
you into your footsie jammies
344
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:46,379
and tucked into bed.
345
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:50,008
Ah, finally, I can put
that whole detention experience
346
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,886
behind me and just live.
347
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:55,597
Whoa.
348
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:57,474
Yep, so that's how your grandad
349
00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,726
got his back tattoo and hepatitis.
350
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:01,436
Never share a needle with Ben Affleck.
351
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,563
How did you and Other Granddaddy meet?
352
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,273
That's a story for when you're older.
353
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,526
The kids at school were asking
if you're a bottom or a top.
354
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,069
They should not be asking that.
355
00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:11,279
They said if that was your
answer, then you were a bottom.
356
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,989
Who are these (BLEEP) kids
you're talking to?
357
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,868
I would like to have a word
with their attractive fathers.
358
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,541
And that's how you say "productivity"
359
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,376
in 11 different languages,
360
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,837
which, in hindsight, was not
a productive use of time.
361
00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:29,089
Oh, sorry to interrupt.
362
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:31,258
I just came to clear the
search history off my computer
363
00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:33,635
before the I. T. guy...
Uhp, he's already got it.
364
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:36,513
Boy, you're really all in on Asa Akira.
365
00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:39,099
Way off, pal. This is
the only place I can masturbate.
366
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:41,143
Griffin, just go.
367
00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:53,071
Oh, fat man, my fat man.
368
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,573
Mr. Pabian.
369
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,367
Get down from there at once.
370
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,538
Oh, fat man, my fat man.
371
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,206
Ms. Towers, get down.
372
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,750
Do you hear me? I order you to get down.
373
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:08,003
Oh, fat man, my fat man.
374
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:10,338
Get down! Every one of you.
375
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,757
That is a direct order. Do you hear me?
376
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:15,343
Oh, fat man, my fat man.
377
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,512
Oh, fat man, my fat man.
378
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:20,098
Oh...
379
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,685
Thank you all. Thank you.
380
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:28,607
As someone who doesn't remember movies,
381
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:32,277
I've never seen such an original
display of faith in a colleague.
382
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,946
- Peter, you're rehired.
- Really?
383
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,824
Griffin, I guess I've learned
384
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:41,077
that employees are
willing to endure a crappy job,
385
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:44,581
low pay, meaningless work,
no upward mobility,
386
00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:47,876
laughable benefits packages,
countless OSHA violations,
387
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:50,837
exposure to hazardous waste
and emotional abuse
388
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:54,591
as long as there are balloons
and pieces of cake once a month.
389
00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:56,384
I guess I can allow that.
390
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:02,932
And I've learned that every
office needs a worst employee
391
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:05,477
that all the other employees
can look down on.
392
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,896
I can be that. I can be that guy.
393
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,439
Now, if you'll excuse me.
394
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,776
Hey-hey, Francesca Louise Allessandro!
395
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,778
Good news. I found your Instagram.
396
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,905
Did you see the 90 photos
I liked in a row
397
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:18,239
last night at 2:00 a. m.?
398
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:22,703
Also, who's @BeckyFitness96, and
can you tell her to unblock me?
399
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:30,377
Well, Peter, I'm glad
you got your job back.
400
00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:32,253
Me, too, Lois, but I am gonna miss
401
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,630
getting to perform every week.
402
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:37,175
You don't need to be in charge
of birthdays to perform.
403
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,802
You know, you're right, Chris.
404
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:41,888
? June is bustin' out all over ?
405
00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:44,724
? It's birthdays and na-na-na-na-na ?
406
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:46,017
? And a zabba... ?
407
00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:54,526
Oh, my! Tony Award-winning
performer Leslie Uggams?
408
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,403
What are you doing here?
409
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:58,321
I heard you were singing my song,
410
00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:00,448
but I think you got the words wrong.
411
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:02,909
It isn't "hana-wanna-dada-baba."
412
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:06,621
- It's "da-zalway-da-da-zee-za."
- Oh, oh, okay.
413
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,998
And then is it, uh,
something about Nash Bridges?
414
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:12,502
No, it's "all the little bit
of dridges."
415
00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:14,504
Ah, "little bit of dridges," of course.
416
00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:16,756
Now you got it!
417
00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:17,841
Come on!
418
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:22,762
? June is bustin' out all over ?
419
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:26,182
? All over the meadow and the hill ?
420
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:27,809
? And da-zalway-da-da-zee-za ?
421
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:29,686
? All the little bit of dridges ?
422
00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:33,273
? And the morning glories and the fez ?
423
00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:35,400
? Because it's June ?
424
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,193
? June, June, June ?
425
00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:40,780
? Bustin' out, it's June, June ?
426
00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:43,199
? June! ?
427
00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:45,702
Bravo!
428
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,580
That's from the 1945 Rodgers
and Hammerstein musical
429
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:51,082
Carousel, about
carousel barker Billy Bigelow,
430
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,460
whose romance with
mill worker Julie Jordan
431
00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:55,628
comes at the price of both their jobs.
432
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:58,298
If you want to know more
about it, ask your grandfather,
433
00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,883
who was dragged to see it on a date
434
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:01,969
and then had to get married
to touch boob.
31462
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