All language subtitles for Üres

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian Download
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,944 --> 00:00:05,944 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:00:33,477 --> 00:00:35,345 Shoppers already? 3 00:00:35,412 --> 00:00:36,881 Hey, Monty, I'm getting outta here, man. 4 00:00:36,948 --> 00:00:38,248 It's Thanksgiving. 5 00:00:40,151 --> 00:00:42,486 What time did they start showing up last year? 6 00:00:43,688 --> 00:00:45,890 - About noon. - Noon? 7 00:00:49,127 --> 00:00:50,661 Freaking vultures! 8 00:01:12,183 --> 00:01:13,484 Oh, shit. 9 00:01:46,283 --> 00:01:47,819 What the fuck is that? 10 00:02:18,850 --> 00:02:20,417 Monty. 11 00:02:20,484 --> 00:02:23,520 Yo, Monty! 12 00:02:30,695 --> 00:02:33,064 Oh, what the fuck, Monty? 13 00:02:33,131 --> 00:02:35,365 You had one job. 14 00:02:35,432 --> 00:02:36,935 Jesus Christ. 15 00:02:39,771 --> 00:02:42,874 Monty? 16 00:04:43,660 --> 00:04:46,563 All right, influencers, time to go. 17 00:04:46,630 --> 00:04:49,300 Come on. Mom's is boring. 18 00:04:49,367 --> 00:04:51,703 Mom's house isn't boring. 19 00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:54,604 Her and Grant are... 20 00:04:54,671 --> 00:04:56,307 well, they're kinda lame. 21 00:04:56,374 --> 00:04:58,876 - He uses Axe body spray. - I know. 22 00:04:58,943 --> 00:05:01,312 And he farts, like, all the time. 23 00:05:01,379 --> 00:05:03,681 Come on, Dad. We had Thanksgiving breakfast. 24 00:05:03,748 --> 00:05:05,850 Talk about sad. 25 00:05:05,917 --> 00:05:07,018 Mom's waiting. Let's go. 26 00:05:07,085 --> 00:05:09,253 Come on, let's go. Come on, kiddo. 27 00:05:11,621 --> 00:05:13,257 Why do you have to work on Thanksgiving, Dad? 28 00:05:13,324 --> 00:05:14,959 It's not fair. 29 00:05:17,362 --> 00:05:19,663 Listen, kiddo. 30 00:05:19,731 --> 00:05:22,467 Heroes work on the holidays, okay? 31 00:05:22,532 --> 00:05:25,703 Cops, firefighters, your dad. 32 00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:29,639 Come on. Come on, let's go. 33 00:05:29,707 --> 00:05:31,075 - Come on. - I love you, Daddy. 34 00:05:31,142 --> 00:05:33,144 I love you too, baby. Give me a big hug. 35 00:05:33,211 --> 00:05:34,979 Oh, big squishes. 36 00:05:36,114 --> 00:05:37,749 Hey, hey. 37 00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:41,419 Grant does not work today. 38 00:05:41,486 --> 00:05:43,921 Take that for what you will, okay? 39 00:05:43,988 --> 00:05:46,290 Okay, get out here. Love you. I love you. 40 00:05:50,161 --> 00:05:52,196 That's a sweater, huh? 41 00:06:13,484 --> 00:06:15,953 Has anyone seen my hand sanitizer? 42 00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:18,056 Uh, check the drawer in the foyer. 43 00:06:18,122 --> 00:06:20,024 Yeah, maybe check that shithole you call a room. 44 00:06:21,159 --> 00:06:22,592 - Hey, pass the pie, will ya? - Yeah. 45 00:06:22,659 --> 00:06:24,062 Hey, has anyone seen a new one? 46 00:06:24,128 --> 00:06:25,096 Uh, check the... 47 00:06:25,163 --> 00:06:26,531 Oh! My pocket's got it. 48 00:06:26,596 --> 00:06:27,698 Honey, I think your ride's here. 49 00:06:27,765 --> 00:06:28,699 Christopher, we're trying to enjoy 50 00:06:28,766 --> 00:06:30,368 Thanksgiving dinner, okay? 51 00:06:31,235 --> 00:06:33,438 - You have to work all weekend? - I don't know. 52 00:06:33,504 --> 00:06:35,206 Is Dad still charging me rent? 53 00:06:36,741 --> 00:06:38,443 All weekend. I love you guys. 54 00:06:38,509 --> 00:06:40,044 Happy Thanksgiving, honey. 55 00:06:41,779 --> 00:06:43,081 Happy Black Friday. 56 00:06:55,293 --> 00:06:58,662 Coming to the ring, weighing 35 pounds, 57 00:06:58,729 --> 00:07:00,765 looking like an absolute vegetarian... 58 00:07:00,832 --> 00:07:02,033 Whoo-whoo-whoo! 59 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:04,068 Chris Godecki! 60 00:07:06,636 --> 00:07:08,638 What's up, buddy? 61 00:07:08,706 --> 00:07:10,408 Come on. Turn that frown upside down. 62 00:07:10,475 --> 00:07:13,244 You look like you don't want to be working on Thanksgiving. 63 00:07:13,311 --> 00:07:14,946 Oh, nice booster seat. 64 00:07:15,012 --> 00:07:16,881 Got any juice boxes for after the game? 65 00:07:18,116 --> 00:07:20,518 The booster seat's for you, little man. 66 00:07:28,059 --> 00:07:29,393 I hate that this shift is something 67 00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:30,828 I've done more than once. 68 00:07:32,130 --> 00:07:34,065 So you're feeling good, then? 69 00:07:34,132 --> 00:07:35,766 It's like, everyone's at home watching football, 70 00:07:35,833 --> 00:07:37,468 eating pumpkin pie. 71 00:07:37,535 --> 00:07:38,736 This is so depressing. 72 00:07:38,803 --> 00:07:41,005 Buddy, I had to hand my kids off 73 00:07:41,072 --> 00:07:43,508 to their mother at sundown. 74 00:07:43,574 --> 00:07:47,111 Gracie remarked how sad it was we had Thanksgiving breakfast. 75 00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:51,883 That almost makes me feel better. 76 00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:54,452 We Luv Toys loves Black Friday deals, 77 00:07:54,519 --> 00:07:56,387 so come on down! 78 00:08:02,260 --> 00:08:03,261 That's weird. 79 00:08:03,327 --> 00:08:04,695 Why would they be closed tonight? 80 00:08:04,762 --> 00:08:07,598 Whoa! Whoa! 81 00:08:07,664 --> 00:08:09,267 I guarantee that was some soccer mom 82 00:08:09,333 --> 00:08:11,636 high on the thrill of being a douche. 83 00:08:11,702 --> 00:08:14,405 - Black Friday massacre. - Yeah. 84 00:08:21,345 --> 00:08:23,514 Oh, I don't... I don't feel good. 85 00:08:23,581 --> 00:08:25,449 You're fine. 86 00:08:38,329 --> 00:08:41,065 Go clock in. You don't want to talk to me for free. 87 00:08:41,132 --> 00:08:42,767 Ready for the shit show? 88 00:08:42,833 --> 00:08:44,635 What's up, man? 89 00:08:54,779 --> 00:08:56,147 I'd say be careful, 90 00:08:56,214 --> 00:08:58,416 but I bet you're tougher than any guy here. 91 00:08:58,482 --> 00:09:00,451 You're too sweet. 92 00:09:00,518 --> 00:09:01,687 All set in the back? 93 00:09:01,752 --> 00:09:03,187 Should be. Keys are in the truck 94 00:09:03,254 --> 00:09:05,356 and I've got a shit ton of toys to unload. 95 00:09:05,423 --> 00:09:07,358 Thanks, Lou. Your work's appreciated. 96 00:09:11,229 --> 00:09:12,563 Thought we said we weren't gonna wear 97 00:09:12,630 --> 00:09:14,131 the same outfits tonight. 98 00:09:14,198 --> 00:09:16,702 Man, I guess you should just go home, then. 99 00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:19,203 Huh. Don't tempt me. 100 00:09:19,270 --> 00:09:20,838 You brought the shopping carts back in, right? 101 00:09:20,905 --> 00:09:22,773 Yeah, you bet. 102 00:09:25,309 --> 00:09:26,377 Knock, knock. 103 00:09:27,845 --> 00:09:29,447 Who's there? 104 00:09:29,513 --> 00:09:30,581 A doughnut. 105 00:09:30,648 --> 00:09:32,316 A doughnut who? 106 00:09:34,151 --> 00:09:36,220 I doughnut fucking believe you. 107 00:09:38,089 --> 00:09:40,258 We still on for pancakes tonight? 108 00:09:40,324 --> 00:09:41,892 Are you buying? 109 00:09:41,959 --> 00:09:43,361 I don't think we've ever been introduced. 110 00:09:43,427 --> 00:09:45,763 I'm the artist formerly known as half to my ex. 111 00:09:49,735 --> 00:09:51,535 Hey, let me get my holiday bonus. 112 00:09:51,602 --> 00:09:52,837 Nice try, Bates, 113 00:09:52,903 --> 00:09:54,905 but you get it when you clock out at 6:00. 114 00:09:56,207 --> 00:09:57,875 6:00? 115 00:09:57,942 --> 00:10:01,912 That's a ten-hour descent into hell! 116 00:10:01,979 --> 00:10:03,314 Oh, my back. 117 00:10:04,448 --> 00:10:05,516 We've got "I-View Sky" 118 00:10:05,583 --> 00:10:07,351 reporting on tonight's meteor showers. 119 00:10:07,418 --> 00:10:09,453 We've got tips on how to snap 120 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,322 the perfect meteor... 121 00:10:11,389 --> 00:10:13,124 It's okay to be sad, depressed, and even suicidal. 122 00:10:13,190 --> 00:10:14,458 Toy does not come with any chokeable parts 123 00:10:14,525 --> 00:10:16,060 - or pieces that can be... - Thanks, Sandy. 124 00:10:16,127 --> 00:10:17,528 And reports are telling us now 125 00:10:17,595 --> 00:10:19,630 people should go nowhere near these things. 126 00:10:19,698 --> 00:10:22,233 And Chucky says we're all going to die. 127 00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:24,468 Alice, who really told you that? 128 00:10:26,003 --> 00:10:27,471 Corporate sent cake? 129 00:10:27,538 --> 00:10:28,839 You don't have to eat it. 130 00:10:28,906 --> 00:10:30,641 It's just nice to know they... care. 131 00:10:30,709 --> 00:10:32,744 They don't care about shit. 132 00:10:32,810 --> 00:10:33,944 I'll take it to the storage area. 133 00:10:34,011 --> 00:10:35,846 Archie's guys will eat it. 134 00:10:44,021 --> 00:10:45,856 Yo, Godecki, you see the line out there? 135 00:10:47,491 --> 00:10:50,061 Yeah, it's like something out of my nightmares. 136 00:10:50,828 --> 00:10:52,229 Are you kidding me? Old man Peruso 137 00:10:52,296 --> 00:10:54,165 offered to give me a handy in the back alley 138 00:10:54,231 --> 00:10:56,267 if I promised to save him a Dour Dennis. 139 00:10:57,902 --> 00:10:59,203 Congrats. 140 00:11:00,604 --> 00:11:02,106 Christopher. 141 00:11:02,173 --> 00:11:03,641 Happy Black Friday, Anita. 142 00:11:03,709 --> 00:11:06,243 Green Friday. 143 00:11:06,310 --> 00:11:07,244 What? 144 00:11:07,311 --> 00:11:09,213 Corporate said Black Friday was racist, 145 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,750 so they changed it to Green Friday. 146 00:11:11,817 --> 00:11:14,686 Green like Christmas and money. 147 00:11:14,753 --> 00:11:16,253 Good to know. 148 00:11:17,789 --> 00:11:20,124 Your undershirt is untucked. 149 00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:23,094 That's grounds for a write-up. 150 00:11:29,835 --> 00:11:31,268 Hey, guys. 151 00:11:31,335 --> 00:11:33,637 Hey, Daddy's at work. Look. 152 00:11:33,705 --> 00:11:36,073 Ho, ho, ho, ho! 153 00:11:42,613 --> 00:11:45,216 - Jesus fucking Christ, man. - Come on, please. 154 00:11:45,282 --> 00:11:47,051 - Fuck. - Bathroom. 155 00:11:47,118 --> 00:11:49,520 - Okay, okay. - I'm parking a Buick, man. 156 00:11:49,587 --> 00:11:51,322 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 157 00:11:51,389 --> 00:11:53,692 It's in the back room, okay? 158 00:12:07,873 --> 00:12:09,708 Black Friday. 159 00:12:09,775 --> 00:12:11,642 What a bunch of suckers. 160 00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:24,823 Shit! 161 00:12:27,859 --> 00:12:29,427 Yo, Chris! 162 00:12:31,362 --> 00:12:34,298 Yo, Chris, open up! I'm locked out here again, bro. 163 00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:38,436 Chris, come on! 164 00:12:38,502 --> 00:12:40,237 Don't make me take the main entrance with those... 165 00:12:40,304 --> 00:12:42,440 Shoppers. 166 00:12:48,345 --> 00:12:49,313 My man. 167 00:12:49,380 --> 00:12:51,115 You know I hold things down. 168 00:12:51,182 --> 00:12:54,218 That's "hold you down." 169 00:12:54,285 --> 00:12:56,454 I'll... I'll get it, I swear. 170 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,122 Thank you. 171 00:12:58,189 --> 00:13:00,291 How about a nonsexual back rub? 172 00:13:01,091 --> 00:13:02,026 Please don't. 173 00:13:02,092 --> 00:13:03,795 All right. 174 00:13:03,862 --> 00:13:06,197 More for me then, right? 175 00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:08,399 You see they gave Anita employee of the month again? 176 00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:11,202 Yeah, I saw that. 177 00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:13,237 Fucking Jonathan, right? 178 00:13:13,304 --> 00:13:15,539 I came in early five times this pay period. 179 00:13:15,606 --> 00:13:17,742 He made me learn how to work a fucking forklift 180 00:13:17,809 --> 00:13:19,243 all for nothing. 181 00:13:19,310 --> 00:13:20,411 It might come in handy 182 00:13:20,478 --> 00:13:23,314 if you ever need to do some forklifting. 183 00:13:24,148 --> 00:13:25,817 Everybody listen up. 184 00:13:37,161 --> 00:13:41,232 Happy Black Friday, We Luv Toys. 185 00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,534 Some quick notes before we open our doors. 186 00:13:43,601 --> 00:13:46,570 First off... 187 00:13:46,637 --> 00:13:48,439 From OSHA. 188 00:13:48,506 --> 00:13:50,809 Uh, statistically when it comes to retail, 189 00:13:50,876 --> 00:13:54,545 there's no day more harmful to retail workers than this day. 190 00:13:54,612 --> 00:13:56,948 Remember, OSHA changed their rules 191 00:13:57,014 --> 00:13:59,550 after somebody was trampled to death. 192 00:13:59,617 --> 00:14:03,454 So look out for each other, okay? 193 00:14:03,521 --> 00:14:06,223 Also, Dour Dennis has been recalled, 194 00:14:06,290 --> 00:14:08,559 so if anybody asks for it, we don't have it. 195 00:14:08,626 --> 00:14:09,694 We never had it. 196 00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:11,662 Some safety issue with the battery. 197 00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:13,564 I'm not... I'm not... I'm not doing well. 198 00:14:13,631 --> 00:14:15,332 Doing well... doing... doing... doing well... doing well. 199 00:14:15,399 --> 00:14:18,970 I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm exhausted, exhausted. 200 00:14:19,036 --> 00:14:20,739 Uh, finally, 201 00:14:20,805 --> 00:14:24,943 um, corporate has contacted me to inform you 202 00:14:25,010 --> 00:14:28,445 that they will not be able to offer paid breaks tonight. 203 00:14:28,512 --> 00:14:30,414 Thank you for your understanding. 204 00:14:30,481 --> 00:14:32,650 Fuck this. 205 00:14:34,118 --> 00:14:36,453 Let's quell this sitch, please. 206 00:14:41,392 --> 00:14:44,194 I know that this is not ideal, 207 00:14:44,261 --> 00:14:47,364 but this is a really big night. 208 00:14:47,431 --> 00:14:50,568 I would hate for a sour mood to ruin our sales. 209 00:14:50,634 --> 00:14:52,469 What about our holiday bonus? 210 00:14:52,536 --> 00:14:54,305 Corporate promised us time and a half 211 00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:55,740 for the holiday weekend. 212 00:14:56,908 --> 00:14:58,542 Yes. 213 00:14:58,609 --> 00:15:01,412 That is still... 214 00:15:01,478 --> 00:15:02,681 yes. 215 00:15:03,581 --> 00:15:05,115 All right, game faces, team. 216 00:15:05,182 --> 00:15:07,217 I want smiles. 217 00:15:07,284 --> 00:15:09,587 What do we love? 218 00:15:09,653 --> 00:15:11,088 Toys! 219 00:15:15,626 --> 00:15:17,494 Ugh. 220 00:15:17,561 --> 00:15:21,465 I got a migra... migraine. 221 00:15:21,532 --> 00:15:23,400 My back hurts, hurts, hurts. 222 00:15:25,102 --> 00:15:27,338 Chris, back here. 223 00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:29,473 I'm not myself. 224 00:15:29,540 --> 00:15:31,843 You're on reg for the night. 225 00:15:31,910 --> 00:15:33,344 All night? 226 00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:36,480 We're short-staffed. We need the coverage up front. 227 00:15:36,547 --> 00:15:39,249 I'm not doing well, well, well. 228 00:15:39,316 --> 00:15:41,753 Looks like your massage will have to wait. 229 00:15:41,820 --> 00:15:43,120 Bye, Chris. 230 00:15:43,187 --> 00:15:44,388 Yet others are going through much worse, 231 00:15:44,455 --> 00:15:46,223 through much worse. 232 00:15:46,290 --> 00:15:48,793 Wait, Mister? Wait up. 233 00:15:51,295 --> 00:15:53,397 Marnie said I should shadow you. 234 00:15:53,464 --> 00:15:55,633 I'm Emmett, but you can call me Em. 235 00:15:57,736 --> 00:15:58,937 No, I can't. 236 00:16:00,739 --> 00:16:02,807 You, uh... 237 00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,809 you ever work retail before? 238 00:16:04,876 --> 00:16:06,343 - Never. - No? 239 00:16:07,277 --> 00:16:10,547 Well, uh... 240 00:16:10,614 --> 00:16:12,483 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret 241 00:16:12,549 --> 00:16:14,953 only a pro like me knows. 242 00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:17,221 Yeah. 243 00:16:17,287 --> 00:16:20,491 When I find myself in a pickle... 244 00:16:20,557 --> 00:16:25,864 I take a deep breath and I think to myself... 245 00:16:25,930 --> 00:16:27,699 "What would an idiot do?" 246 00:16:27,766 --> 00:16:30,334 For example, okay? 247 00:16:30,401 --> 00:16:32,169 If some crazy lady comes up to me and asks me, 248 00:16:32,236 --> 00:16:33,705 "Where's the Duncan yo-yos?" 249 00:16:33,772 --> 00:16:35,272 I'd... 250 00:16:35,339 --> 00:16:37,207 Escort them to the yo-yo section and then... 251 00:16:37,274 --> 00:16:38,777 No. 252 00:16:38,843 --> 00:16:41,112 No. No. You're already trying too hard. 253 00:16:41,178 --> 00:16:42,814 You point them in the direction of fucking wherever 254 00:16:42,881 --> 00:16:45,382 - and they'll find it, yeah? - Yeah. 255 00:16:45,449 --> 00:16:46,450 - Okay? - Yeah. 256 00:16:46,517 --> 00:16:47,752 - All right? - Okay. 257 00:16:47,819 --> 00:16:49,087 All right, get on out of here, youngster. 258 00:16:49,154 --> 00:16:51,188 Hey, team, remember: 259 00:16:51,255 --> 00:16:53,091 no matter how bad these suburban savages 260 00:16:53,158 --> 00:16:55,559 get under your skin, the customer is always right. 261 00:16:55,626 --> 00:16:57,962 Whoo! Yes! It's go time. 262 00:16:58,029 --> 00:16:59,329 Places, everyone. 263 00:16:59,396 --> 00:17:01,933 Smiles, please. Holiday cheer. 264 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:08,106 I want faces that love toys. 265 00:17:08,173 --> 00:17:11,710 Brian, unleash the beast in... 266 00:17:11,776 --> 00:17:12,777 five... 267 00:17:14,179 --> 00:17:16,014 Four, 268 00:17:16,081 --> 00:17:18,615 three, 269 00:17:18,683 --> 00:17:20,284 two. 270 00:17:20,350 --> 00:17:21,786 Go, baby! 271 00:17:21,853 --> 00:17:24,321 Go, Black Friday! 272 00:17:45,777 --> 00:17:47,011 Stop it! 273 00:18:02,459 --> 00:18:03,895 Aw, man! 274 00:18:24,916 --> 00:18:26,650 Good job. 275 00:18:29,553 --> 00:18:31,790 Thank you very much. Happy holidays. 276 00:18:34,491 --> 00:18:35,592 Will you hurry up? 277 00:18:35,659 --> 00:18:36,861 Ma'am, I'm trying. 278 00:18:36,928 --> 00:18:39,296 Oh, get it together, dickless! 279 00:18:47,138 --> 00:18:48,305 Ugh. 280 00:18:52,309 --> 00:18:54,344 Hey, my turn. 281 00:19:00,852 --> 00:19:02,653 Oh, oh! 282 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:06,257 Oh, I must have been good this year! 283 00:19:06,323 --> 00:19:07,959 Oh, Santa! 284 00:19:11,062 --> 00:19:12,063 What's the sitch here? 285 00:19:12,130 --> 00:19:15,266 Oh, pussy boy here is taking forever. 286 00:19:15,332 --> 00:19:16,968 There's, like, jam in the keyboard. 287 00:19:17,035 --> 00:19:18,435 Ah. 288 00:19:20,738 --> 00:19:21,739 Sorry, folks, looks like I'm gonna 289 00:19:21,806 --> 00:19:23,241 have to shut this lane down. 290 00:19:26,311 --> 00:19:28,880 Ma'am, if you would head back to the Santa's rear village, 291 00:19:28,947 --> 00:19:31,115 - someone will meet you there. - Ugh! 292 00:19:31,182 --> 00:19:32,884 Dude, what the hell? 293 00:19:34,052 --> 00:19:35,186 Full discloszh, 294 00:19:35,253 --> 00:19:38,522 some guy just blew chunks all over the ride-ons. 295 00:19:38,589 --> 00:19:40,024 You're cleaning it up. 296 00:19:43,194 --> 00:19:45,096 Th-throw up? Um... 297 00:19:45,163 --> 00:19:47,131 it's... it's a little germy, no? 298 00:19:47,198 --> 00:19:49,499 What about the floor workers? 299 00:19:49,566 --> 00:19:52,469 But I thought you preferred the floor. 300 00:19:53,738 --> 00:19:55,707 Sawdust's in the maint's closet. 301 00:20:00,044 --> 00:20:02,446 Ah, these fucking idiot customers. 302 00:20:04,716 --> 00:20:06,217 Idiots! 303 00:20:06,284 --> 00:20:08,019 Is that what you think we are? 304 00:20:08,086 --> 00:20:09,386 Jesus Christ, lady. 305 00:20:09,453 --> 00:20:10,688 You watch your mouth, asshole, 306 00:20:10,755 --> 00:20:13,423 or I'll rip this place apart, including you! 307 00:20:15,559 --> 00:20:17,494 I believe you. 308 00:20:31,242 --> 00:20:33,745 Deep breaths. It's just barf. 309 00:20:33,811 --> 00:20:36,446 You don't have to touch it. Don't breathe around it. 310 00:20:38,016 --> 00:20:39,416 Aah! 311 00:20:39,483 --> 00:20:41,485 That's way more than I expected! 312 00:20:46,190 --> 00:20:49,526 Okay, um, sir? 313 00:20:49,593 --> 00:20:51,195 Sir, let's get you some help. 314 00:20:55,967 --> 00:20:58,002 Oh! Holy shit! 315 00:21:09,981 --> 00:21:11,249 Oh, fuck! 316 00:21:20,425 --> 00:21:22,894 Chris, what the fuck? 317 00:21:22,961 --> 00:21:26,731 All customers must vacate the premises of We Luv Toys. 318 00:21:26,798 --> 00:21:29,000 We apologize for the inconvenience. 319 00:21:29,901 --> 00:21:32,170 All customers must vacate the premises... 320 00:21:32,236 --> 00:21:34,138 Yo, took me two years, 321 00:21:34,205 --> 00:21:35,639 but I finally got the hang of this thing. 322 00:21:35,707 --> 00:21:36,874 Look at that. 323 00:21:36,941 --> 00:21:38,343 Whoa, whoa, watch this, watch this. 324 00:21:38,409 --> 00:21:40,244 Oh! 325 00:21:40,311 --> 00:21:42,714 So what exactly happened with that Chris guy? 326 00:21:44,481 --> 00:21:46,084 I don't know. 327 00:21:46,150 --> 00:21:48,853 I think he smashed some woman with a mini pink SUV. 328 00:21:53,157 --> 00:21:54,993 Right. 329 00:21:58,763 --> 00:21:59,964 Um, ma'am, I'm sorry, 330 00:22:00,031 --> 00:22:01,933 but we're actually closing early tonight. 331 00:22:05,970 --> 00:22:08,006 What happened? 332 00:22:08,072 --> 00:22:09,539 I don't know. 333 00:22:09,606 --> 00:22:11,976 Came out, and it was a fucking disaster. 334 00:22:14,511 --> 00:22:16,881 Okay. Go check it out. 335 00:22:16,948 --> 00:22:18,316 I'll keep an eye on Chris. 336 00:22:19,784 --> 00:22:21,152 I'll be back. 337 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,596 I told you guys. 338 00:22:32,662 --> 00:22:35,466 I am sorry that I crushed that woman. 339 00:22:35,532 --> 00:22:37,634 But... 340 00:22:37,702 --> 00:22:39,303 Check the security footage! 341 00:22:39,370 --> 00:22:41,272 We don't have to check shit. 342 00:22:41,339 --> 00:22:43,174 This is a citizen's arrest. 343 00:22:45,276 --> 00:22:48,545 There is something really wrong out there. 344 00:22:48,612 --> 00:22:51,416 Yes, something is really wrong. 345 00:22:51,482 --> 00:22:53,051 We're one hour into Black Friday 346 00:22:53,117 --> 00:22:55,753 and we're escorting customers away from the store? 347 00:22:55,820 --> 00:22:57,621 Yeah, of course that's his concern. 348 00:22:57,688 --> 00:23:01,225 No, no, no, Marnie, wait. Please, you have to believe me. 349 00:23:01,292 --> 00:23:03,227 She attacked me. 350 00:23:03,294 --> 00:23:04,661 Ask Archie. 351 00:23:04,729 --> 00:23:06,563 Archie went to go check on that nasty puke bitch 352 00:23:06,630 --> 00:23:09,300 you attempted to murder. 353 00:23:09,367 --> 00:23:12,203 You're going to jail, Chris. 354 00:23:14,172 --> 00:23:16,107 Uh, miss? 355 00:23:17,574 --> 00:23:19,343 Oh, oh, my God. 356 00:23:21,179 --> 00:23:22,612 No, no, no! 357 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:24,248 Aah! No! 358 00:23:28,052 --> 00:23:29,619 Shit! 359 00:23:35,993 --> 00:23:37,661 Come on, kid. Let's go! 360 00:23:44,335 --> 00:23:47,038 What the hell is going on out there? 361 00:23:47,105 --> 00:23:48,906 This is some next-level bath salt shit. 362 00:23:48,973 --> 00:23:51,209 No, it's just Black Friday. 363 00:23:51,275 --> 00:23:52,810 Excitement is in the air. 364 00:23:52,877 --> 00:23:54,378 - Green Friday. - That's right. 365 00:23:54,445 --> 00:23:56,747 Green Friday, baby. It's all part of the fun. 366 00:23:56,814 --> 00:23:58,716 It's known as competitive shopping. 367 00:23:58,783 --> 00:24:01,651 Anita got a black eye last year and she took it like a champ. 368 00:24:01,719 --> 00:24:02,987 No, no. Fuck that. 369 00:24:03,054 --> 00:24:05,089 Some woman just attacked Emmett. 370 00:24:05,156 --> 00:24:07,525 It's like she wasn't a person anymore. 371 00:24:07,592 --> 00:24:09,494 I hit her with a fucking skateboard. 372 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:10,862 She didn't even feel it. 373 00:24:12,029 --> 00:24:14,232 - Try calling the cops. - Oh, no. No. 374 00:24:14,298 --> 00:24:16,467 Do not call the cops. 375 00:24:16,534 --> 00:24:17,802 Are you kidding? 376 00:24:17,869 --> 00:24:19,971 You call the cops, and this place shuts down. 377 00:24:20,037 --> 00:24:21,239 Now, if we work efficiently, 378 00:24:21,305 --> 00:24:23,207 we can reopen by maybe 2:00 a.m. 379 00:24:23,274 --> 00:24:25,810 Reopen? Are you insane? 380 00:24:25,877 --> 00:24:28,813 Line's busy. I got their voice mail. 381 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,381 Did you know the police had a voice mail? 382 00:24:30,448 --> 00:24:32,350 This is the biggest night of the year, okay? 383 00:24:32,416 --> 00:24:35,920 Corporate expects us to do six figures this weekend. 384 00:24:35,987 --> 00:24:37,822 I'm sure corporate will understand. 385 00:24:37,889 --> 00:24:39,490 Relax. Okay? 386 00:24:39,557 --> 00:24:42,293 I know we all want to go home. It's a holiday. 387 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:44,529 Blardy blardy blar. Let me tell you something... 388 00:24:44,595 --> 00:24:46,330 What was wrong with that lady? 389 00:24:46,397 --> 00:24:48,065 Am I gonna be okay? 390 00:24:53,704 --> 00:24:55,907 Hey, bud. 391 00:24:55,973 --> 00:24:57,475 Can I get you anything? 392 00:24:57,542 --> 00:24:58,843 Oh, man. 393 00:24:58,910 --> 00:25:01,345 There is something wrong with the shoppers. 394 00:25:01,412 --> 00:25:02,480 Christopher, 395 00:25:02,547 --> 00:25:05,683 you are not supposed to provoke the customers. 396 00:25:05,750 --> 00:25:07,785 The training video says... 397 00:25:07,852 --> 00:25:10,288 ♪ Leave them be and then you'll see ♪ 398 00:25:10,354 --> 00:25:13,558 ♪ The love of toys is all we need ♪ 399 00:25:13,624 --> 00:25:17,828 Anita, please shut the fuck up! 400 00:25:19,730 --> 00:25:22,200 You wonder why you never get Employee of the Month. 401 00:25:22,266 --> 00:25:24,068 You know what? 402 00:25:24,135 --> 00:25:25,603 No one gives a flying fuck 403 00:25:25,670 --> 00:25:28,206 about your training videos or your plaques, Anita. 404 00:25:28,272 --> 00:25:32,076 Oh, I know you don't, but there are those who do. 405 00:25:32,143 --> 00:25:35,413 The ones who don't care are the ones like you two, 406 00:25:35,479 --> 00:25:39,450 'cause you have squandered every single opportunity 407 00:25:39,517 --> 00:25:42,987 that life has handed to you to do a subpar job 408 00:25:43,054 --> 00:25:45,691 ringing people up at We Luv Toys 409 00:25:45,756 --> 00:25:47,858 for the rest of your life! 410 00:25:50,027 --> 00:25:51,062 Stand back. Stand back. Stand back. 411 00:25:51,128 --> 00:25:52,698 I got this. I got this. 412 00:25:52,763 --> 00:25:54,732 Hey, buddy. You all right? 413 00:25:54,799 --> 00:25:55,967 Here, come here. Come here. 414 00:25:56,033 --> 00:25:57,768 Hey, buddy. Hey. Okay. 415 00:25:57,835 --> 00:25:59,503 Okay. Spit it out. 416 00:25:59,570 --> 00:26:01,272 Holy fuck! 417 00:26:01,339 --> 00:26:03,207 Uh, okay. All right. 418 00:26:03,274 --> 00:26:05,876 You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay. Hey. 419 00:26:05,943 --> 00:26:08,045 Somebody get me a fucking pillow! 420 00:26:10,248 --> 00:26:12,850 - Okay. Okay. Fuck! - Move! 421 00:26:12,917 --> 00:26:15,319 Okay. Okay. 422 00:26:15,386 --> 00:26:17,622 The handbook says we're not really supposed 423 00:26:17,689 --> 00:26:19,357 to make physical contact. 424 00:26:36,107 --> 00:26:38,309 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 425 00:26:38,376 --> 00:26:40,244 Okay, okay! Enough! Enough! Enough! 426 00:26:40,311 --> 00:26:42,513 Protect me. 427 00:26:42,580 --> 00:26:44,750 Oh, God! 428 00:26:44,815 --> 00:26:47,618 Hey, corporate sent that! 429 00:26:47,686 --> 00:26:48,986 Back the fuck up, homey! 430 00:26:49,053 --> 00:26:50,588 Hey! 431 00:26:50,655 --> 00:26:52,423 You're fucked now, Junior! 432 00:26:52,490 --> 00:26:54,792 Sit your ass down. 433 00:27:00,732 --> 00:27:02,033 Was that the new guy? 434 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:10,608 Hello? 435 00:27:10,675 --> 00:27:12,877 Anyone? 436 00:27:12,943 --> 00:27:14,680 Bartlett won't pick up. 437 00:27:14,746 --> 00:27:15,813 We've got to separate that kid 438 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:17,281 from the rest of the shoppers. 439 00:27:17,348 --> 00:27:19,083 You know, the first time I worked Black Friday, 440 00:27:19,150 --> 00:27:21,886 they separated shoppers by race. 441 00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:26,490 Oh, great time for that story, Ruth! 442 00:27:26,557 --> 00:27:28,259 Great time for that. 443 00:27:28,326 --> 00:27:30,594 That's it. It's not safe in here. 444 00:27:30,661 --> 00:27:32,798 - Can someone please untie me? - Schaumburg answered. 445 00:27:32,863 --> 00:27:34,298 I got Schaumburg. 446 00:27:35,900 --> 00:27:37,501 Hello, Schaumburg. 447 00:27:37,568 --> 00:27:39,403 This is Jonathan Wexler, manager of store... 448 00:27:39,470 --> 00:27:41,038 Hello? Hello? 449 00:27:41,105 --> 00:27:43,574 Oh, thank God. Our shoppers are going crazy. 450 00:27:43,641 --> 00:27:46,944 They're attacking us. We can't get out! 451 00:27:47,011 --> 00:27:48,646 Wait. What? 452 00:27:48,714 --> 00:27:49,980 Listen to me. 453 00:27:50,047 --> 00:27:51,750 Whatever you do, don't let them in. 454 00:27:51,817 --> 00:27:54,753 And for the love of God, don't let them gather. 455 00:27:54,820 --> 00:27:56,220 They're building something. 456 00:27:56,287 --> 00:27:57,455 What? 457 00:27:57,521 --> 00:27:59,725 Get... I need... just don't let them gather! 458 00:27:59,791 --> 00:28:01,092 - Don't let them... - Hello? 459 00:28:02,460 --> 00:28:03,894 Hello! 460 00:28:03,961 --> 00:28:06,197 Okay, hang up. 461 00:28:07,198 --> 00:28:09,567 Oh, we gotta do something. 462 00:28:10,167 --> 00:28:12,970 I mean, dying in a toy store isn't how it ends for me. 463 00:28:14,638 --> 00:28:16,640 Does anyone have a car big enough to fit us all? 464 00:28:18,142 --> 00:28:19,778 Dad-mobile. 465 00:28:19,845 --> 00:28:22,246 Fits seven, but, you know, we could all squeeze. 466 00:28:22,313 --> 00:28:24,148 - Ew. - Brian, don't start. 467 00:28:24,215 --> 00:28:25,883 Ken's truck won't be enough. 468 00:28:25,950 --> 00:28:27,184 There's people on the sales floor. 469 00:28:27,251 --> 00:28:28,652 So we gotta make a run for it, right? 470 00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:30,287 Do we? 471 00:28:30,354 --> 00:28:31,690 We don't even know what these things are or what they want. 472 00:28:31,757 --> 00:28:33,090 They want to hurt us. 473 00:28:33,157 --> 00:28:36,227 Oh, yeah, speaking of, can someone please untie me? 474 00:28:37,395 --> 00:28:39,230 Ruth can't run. 475 00:28:39,296 --> 00:28:43,367 Survival of the fittest... and non-geriatric. 476 00:28:43,434 --> 00:28:45,603 Those things are the fittest. 477 00:28:45,669 --> 00:28:47,438 You saw Emmett. 478 00:28:47,505 --> 00:28:50,107 We have to stay here and protect ourselves. 479 00:28:50,174 --> 00:28:52,376 Who knows where else this is happening? 480 00:28:52,443 --> 00:28:55,546 I say we get everyone together on the sales floor, 481 00:28:55,613 --> 00:28:58,482 lock the doors, hang tight till this shit cools off. 482 00:29:00,451 --> 00:29:02,920 You guys are gonna feel dumb when this all blows over. 483 00:29:07,558 --> 00:29:10,461 Jonathan, this isn't blowing over. 484 00:29:12,596 --> 00:29:15,266 You know, the company sends me this cheap champagne 485 00:29:15,332 --> 00:29:17,168 for making our sales goals. 486 00:29:17,234 --> 00:29:21,572 Now, they expect me to generate revenue tonight. 487 00:29:21,639 --> 00:29:23,441 That's my job. 488 00:29:25,009 --> 00:29:27,545 Your job is to be our manager. 489 00:29:27,611 --> 00:29:31,215 Protect us. Manage us. 490 00:29:32,650 --> 00:29:34,151 I can't. 491 00:29:41,192 --> 00:29:42,159 Let's move. Come on. 492 00:29:42,226 --> 00:29:43,994 Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. 493 00:29:47,398 --> 00:29:49,701 Find anyone you can and reconvene at the service desk. 494 00:29:49,768 --> 00:29:50,836 Oh, and look out for Emmett. 495 00:29:50,902 --> 00:29:53,839 The less we have to interact with the shoppers... 496 00:29:53,905 --> 00:29:55,072 the better. 497 00:29:55,139 --> 00:29:56,474 Where is everyb... oh. 498 00:29:56,540 --> 00:29:58,008 Shh. 499 00:30:10,654 --> 00:30:12,724 How did all these shoppers get in here? 500 00:30:14,225 --> 00:30:15,259 The team must've tried to leave 501 00:30:15,326 --> 00:30:17,394 through the employee exit. 502 00:30:17,461 --> 00:30:19,663 Who knows how many of those things got in? 503 00:30:19,731 --> 00:30:21,365 I say we split up. 504 00:30:21,432 --> 00:30:23,768 Close that door. Secure the store. 505 00:30:23,835 --> 00:30:26,570 Ken, you take Ruth and Marnie through the back hall. 506 00:30:26,637 --> 00:30:28,672 Hole up in the office until we get back. 507 00:30:28,740 --> 00:30:29,975 Yeah. 508 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,076 Chris, Brian, Jonathan, 509 00:30:32,142 --> 00:30:34,278 we're gonna run recon to that exit. 510 00:30:34,345 --> 00:30:36,347 No, no, I should be with the other group 511 00:30:36,413 --> 00:30:39,049 'cause Brian represents me on the sales floor. 512 00:30:40,451 --> 00:30:43,955 I will carry your grace to the sales floor as always. 513 00:30:44,021 --> 00:30:44,990 Let's just go. 514 00:30:55,099 --> 00:30:56,066 Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. 515 00:31:15,286 --> 00:31:16,721 Where you going? 516 00:31:17,956 --> 00:31:18,924 To the bathroom. 517 00:31:18,990 --> 00:31:20,090 Why? 518 00:31:20,157 --> 00:31:21,693 'Cause I have to go. 519 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,127 Ooh, I gotta go too. 520 00:31:23,193 --> 00:31:24,763 I've been holding it. 521 00:31:33,404 --> 00:31:36,507 Your man, so hunky. 522 00:31:36,574 --> 00:31:38,609 They don't make 'em like that anymore. 523 00:31:38,676 --> 00:31:41,012 You know, fierce. Stern. 524 00:31:41,078 --> 00:31:43,180 A real smolder. 525 00:31:43,247 --> 00:31:45,449 Ruth, he's not my man. We're not dating, okay? 526 00:31:45,516 --> 00:31:47,451 - Oh! - Or... it doesn't matter. 527 00:31:47,518 --> 00:31:51,555 Oh, so... so more like consensual fuck partners. 528 00:31:53,557 --> 00:31:54,926 Wow. 529 00:32:03,133 --> 00:32:05,269 Follow me. Stay low. 530 00:32:39,104 --> 00:32:40,705 Oh, no, no, no, no! 531 00:32:45,442 --> 00:32:48,612 What part of "follow me" did you not understand? 532 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:50,214 Follow me. 533 00:32:54,052 --> 00:32:55,586 Hey, so let me know if you leave the bathroom, 534 00:32:55,653 --> 00:32:57,889 'cause I can always pinch and run, okay? 535 00:33:06,131 --> 00:33:07,966 - Gotcha! - What are you doing? 536 00:33:08,033 --> 00:33:10,200 Getting my stash, man. 537 00:33:11,069 --> 00:33:12,704 You can't do that! 538 00:33:12,771 --> 00:33:14,271 Circumstances have changed, Jonathan. 539 00:33:14,338 --> 00:33:15,807 That's against the code! 540 00:33:27,351 --> 00:33:29,453 - Oh, no. - What? What's going on? 541 00:33:34,425 --> 00:33:36,094 We gotta get to that door. 542 00:33:36,161 --> 00:33:38,029 Let's go. 543 00:33:38,096 --> 00:33:39,396 Brian, step back. 544 00:33:57,581 --> 00:33:59,450 We're clear. 545 00:34:14,565 --> 00:34:16,735 All set. Come on. 546 00:34:19,070 --> 00:34:21,906 So what do we do now? They... they got the door shut. 547 00:34:28,645 --> 00:34:30,314 What are the shoppers doing? 548 00:34:34,485 --> 00:34:37,188 Ruth, wait here. 549 00:34:37,254 --> 00:34:38,857 Okay. 550 00:35:54,598 --> 00:35:56,901 You park that Buick? 551 00:36:00,138 --> 00:36:01,172 - Johnathan! - Shit! 552 00:36:14,919 --> 00:36:15,987 Jonathan! 553 00:36:23,460 --> 00:36:25,730 Oh! 554 00:36:53,390 --> 00:36:55,226 Are we safe up here? 555 00:36:55,293 --> 00:36:56,660 Define safe. 556 00:37:01,498 --> 00:37:03,667 Ken, come on. 557 00:37:03,735 --> 00:37:05,402 I think we were safer in my office. 558 00:37:06,237 --> 00:37:08,206 The doors are closed. Now we wait, yeah? 559 00:37:08,273 --> 00:37:10,208 No, no, no. We can't wait. 560 00:37:10,275 --> 00:37:12,143 I'm with her. 561 00:37:12,210 --> 00:37:14,245 Lou was in there and he was trying to eat me 562 00:37:14,312 --> 00:37:15,780 or pull me into him. 563 00:37:15,847 --> 00:37:18,049 - He was trying to... - Gather? 564 00:37:18,116 --> 00:37:19,416 Exactly. 565 00:37:19,483 --> 00:37:20,752 Just like Schaumburg said. 566 00:37:20,818 --> 00:37:22,320 Yeah, they're doing it at Santa's village. 567 00:37:22,387 --> 00:37:23,654 I saw something. 568 00:37:23,721 --> 00:37:25,023 I don't know what it was, but I think the shoppers 569 00:37:25,089 --> 00:37:26,456 are trying to reach each other and... 570 00:37:26,523 --> 00:37:28,625 At this point, we're just in their way. 571 00:37:28,693 --> 00:37:30,128 We're gonna have to fight whatever's left. 572 00:37:30,194 --> 00:37:31,561 Whoa, whoa. 573 00:37:31,628 --> 00:37:33,097 God damn it. 574 00:37:33,164 --> 00:37:34,564 What's wrong? 575 00:37:34,631 --> 00:37:36,533 I can't get dinner with my kids. 576 00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,635 I can't get a drink at work. 577 00:37:38,703 --> 00:37:41,739 I can't even get a goddamn text to send. 578 00:37:43,374 --> 00:37:45,209 Uh... I'll go get that. 579 00:37:46,411 --> 00:37:48,913 You know what? I'm getting my bonus 580 00:37:48,980 --> 00:37:50,547 and I'm getting the fuck outta here. 581 00:37:50,614 --> 00:37:52,516 Are you fucking kidding me? 582 00:37:52,582 --> 00:37:54,018 Jonathan, give me the keys. 583 00:37:54,085 --> 00:37:55,652 Oh, uh... 584 00:37:55,720 --> 00:37:57,989 I left the keys in my office. 585 00:37:59,023 --> 00:38:00,457 Archie. 586 00:38:11,869 --> 00:38:13,603 Where's the holiday bonuses? 587 00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:18,710 Are they, like, in your office or something? 588 00:38:18,776 --> 00:38:20,845 I thought that I told you 589 00:38:20,912 --> 00:38:24,949 that there were gonna be no holiday bonuses this year. 590 00:38:26,184 --> 00:38:27,685 What the fuck? 591 00:38:27,752 --> 00:38:30,487 Jonathan, this is bullshit even for you. 592 00:38:33,791 --> 00:38:35,994 That's not what you told me. 593 00:38:36,060 --> 00:38:39,464 All you said was that there'd be layoffs after the holidays. 594 00:38:39,563 --> 00:38:43,234 Whoa! What the hell? Like who? 595 00:38:43,301 --> 00:38:45,569 I mean, fo' sho' you with them bathroom breaks. 596 00:38:45,635 --> 00:38:47,105 I wash my fucking hands! 597 00:38:47,171 --> 00:38:48,638 This place is a cesspool! 598 00:38:48,706 --> 00:38:50,775 Hey, guys, shut up. 599 00:38:50,842 --> 00:38:53,711 Jonathan, is this true? 600 00:38:53,778 --> 00:38:56,014 ♪ Little girl ♪ 601 00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:57,715 Well... 602 00:38:57,782 --> 00:39:00,685 it isn't not untrue. 603 00:39:00,752 --> 00:39:03,021 - Oh, my God. - I mean, yeah, yes, it's true. 604 00:39:06,257 --> 00:39:09,060 I quit, you fucking joke. 605 00:39:09,127 --> 00:39:10,161 For your nose. 606 00:39:12,063 --> 00:39:14,631 Ruth, get away from the window. 607 00:39:14,699 --> 00:39:16,666 No, the police are here. 608 00:39:16,734 --> 00:39:18,870 Oh, thank God! 609 00:39:30,281 --> 00:39:33,017 Hey, Brian, wait up! 610 00:39:33,084 --> 00:39:34,318 No! 611 00:39:36,586 --> 00:39:38,588 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go! 612 00:39:42,260 --> 00:39:43,294 Go! 613 00:39:57,607 --> 00:39:59,744 Oh, God! 614 00:40:06,784 --> 00:40:08,019 They're all headed for that. 615 00:40:09,586 --> 00:40:11,322 What is that thing? 616 00:40:11,389 --> 00:40:12,356 Let's go. 617 00:40:16,727 --> 00:40:18,096 Chris, go. 618 00:40:18,162 --> 00:40:19,831 No, man. 619 00:40:19,897 --> 00:40:23,201 Chris, I'ma hold you down. 620 00:40:23,267 --> 00:40:24,634 Now go. Go! 621 00:40:48,392 --> 00:40:51,362 Got your doorbusters right here, motherfucker. 622 00:42:14,645 --> 00:42:15,713 Oh! 623 00:42:24,222 --> 00:42:25,756 Ken, block the door! 624 00:42:40,805 --> 00:42:42,073 Oh! 625 00:42:52,183 --> 00:42:54,051 They're never really dead. 626 00:42:57,455 --> 00:42:58,856 Archie? 627 00:43:02,728 --> 00:43:05,529 If they got to him, what the hell are we gonna do? 628 00:43:05,596 --> 00:43:08,099 I don't think this night can get any worse. 629 00:43:14,405 --> 00:43:16,907 Okay. 630 00:43:16,974 --> 00:43:18,744 Does anybody else just think that's funny? 631 00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:24,282 How long do you think that door will hold? 632 00:43:26,450 --> 00:43:29,487 It's the only idea we've got and it's gotten us this far. 633 00:43:29,553 --> 00:43:31,856 It's safe for now. 634 00:43:33,124 --> 00:43:35,092 My name is Emmett, and I have loved toys 635 00:43:35,159 --> 00:43:36,927 since the first of the month. 636 00:43:46,037 --> 00:43:48,472 I think that that is the shortest 637 00:43:48,539 --> 00:43:49,708 anyone has ever worked here. 638 00:43:59,751 --> 00:44:03,054 I have loved toys for eight years. 639 00:44:04,855 --> 00:44:06,824 I wanted to be a dentist, you know. 640 00:44:09,593 --> 00:44:11,797 Ten years. 641 00:44:11,862 --> 00:44:13,331 Got laid off. 642 00:44:14,733 --> 00:44:16,600 Told my wife it'd be temporary. 643 00:44:22,073 --> 00:44:23,607 Four years. 644 00:44:25,176 --> 00:44:28,079 I'd throw my name tag in the middle, but I lost mine. 645 00:44:31,817 --> 00:44:33,117 Two years. 646 00:44:34,118 --> 00:44:35,419 Imagine making your living 647 00:44:35,486 --> 00:44:37,121 at the place you begged your mom and dad 648 00:44:37,188 --> 00:44:38,889 to take you to when you were younger. 649 00:44:45,629 --> 00:44:49,367 I ran home to tell my dad after I got hired, 650 00:44:49,433 --> 00:44:50,935 and he goes... 651 00:44:52,970 --> 00:44:55,039 "Welcome to corporate hell, kid." 652 00:44:56,207 --> 00:44:58,844 This place isn't impressive. 653 00:44:58,909 --> 00:45:02,580 It isn't fun or magical. 654 00:45:02,646 --> 00:45:04,348 It's a prison. 655 00:45:04,415 --> 00:45:05,950 It's a ruse. 656 00:45:08,720 --> 00:45:09,987 It's a lie. 657 00:45:11,322 --> 00:45:12,656 Well, that just sucks, you know, 658 00:45:12,724 --> 00:45:16,026 'cause I always saw you as manager material. 659 00:45:19,530 --> 00:45:21,132 Shut up, Jonathan. 660 00:45:22,633 --> 00:45:27,138 You guys want to know why I applied here 27 years ago? 661 00:45:28,139 --> 00:45:29,974 I was lonely. 662 00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:31,710 I believe that there's a place for everyone, 663 00:45:31,777 --> 00:45:34,345 and this is my place. 664 00:45:34,412 --> 00:45:35,747 It's a place where you have worth, 665 00:45:35,814 --> 00:45:38,182 where regional managers call you and ask for numbers, 666 00:45:38,249 --> 00:45:40,651 where you can reprimand somebody 667 00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:43,855 and they have to listen to you. 668 00:45:43,921 --> 00:45:46,957 Where the women have to laugh at all your corny jokes 669 00:45:47,024 --> 00:45:49,960 and even the coolest guys have to obey. 670 00:45:51,462 --> 00:45:54,131 That's what We Luv Toys means to me. 671 00:45:59,203 --> 00:46:01,372 That's some dark shit right there. 672 00:46:01,439 --> 00:46:04,475 I legitimately always thought you were a serial killer. 673 00:46:11,215 --> 00:46:12,751 I can't believe I missed Thanksgiving 674 00:46:12,818 --> 00:46:15,519 with my family for this. 675 00:46:15,586 --> 00:46:18,690 Well, at least you were invited to a Thanksgiving. 676 00:46:20,324 --> 00:46:23,594 I'm sorry. Truly. 677 00:46:28,232 --> 00:46:29,600 What are you doing? 678 00:46:52,623 --> 00:46:54,693 No one should be without Thanksgiving. 679 00:46:57,963 --> 00:46:59,263 Turkey. 680 00:47:00,531 --> 00:47:02,132 Thank you. 681 00:47:02,199 --> 00:47:04,235 Cranberry. 682 00:47:05,837 --> 00:47:07,271 Football. 683 00:47:08,974 --> 00:47:10,040 Black Friday. 684 00:47:11,609 --> 00:47:13,377 Here's some Black Friday trivia. 685 00:47:14,445 --> 00:47:16,614 The phrase was first used by Philly cops 686 00:47:16,681 --> 00:47:17,716 to describe the crowds 687 00:47:17,782 --> 00:47:20,117 and the traffic the day after the holiday. 688 00:47:20,184 --> 00:47:22,286 Mm! And here's some retail trivia. 689 00:47:22,353 --> 00:47:25,757 The promise of savings is an illusion 690 00:47:25,824 --> 00:47:28,425 'cause everything they put out there is sold at a loss 691 00:47:28,492 --> 00:47:30,494 to get you through the door. 692 00:47:30,561 --> 00:47:32,663 Things are still selling for a high margin too. 693 00:47:32,731 --> 00:47:34,498 So yeah, sure. 694 00:47:34,565 --> 00:47:36,600 Go ahead and get that cheap flat-screen TV, 695 00:47:36,667 --> 00:47:39,136 but now you need the wall mount and the cables. 696 00:47:40,070 --> 00:47:41,639 Customers aren't always right. 697 00:47:41,706 --> 00:47:43,708 They just want to think that they are. 698 00:47:44,776 --> 00:47:45,710 Jesus Christ. 699 00:47:45,777 --> 00:47:47,244 Mm. 700 00:47:47,311 --> 00:47:49,446 Well, for our last Thanksgiving meal, 701 00:47:49,513 --> 00:47:51,816 - it sure was informative. - No. 702 00:47:51,883 --> 00:47:54,019 Don't say that. 703 00:47:54,084 --> 00:47:55,486 Don't say this is our last. 704 00:47:55,553 --> 00:47:57,054 I think she was just making a joke. 705 00:47:57,121 --> 00:47:58,790 No. I got two kids out there 706 00:47:58,857 --> 00:48:00,257 that I plan to see again. 707 00:48:00,324 --> 00:48:02,961 Calm down. We get it. 708 00:48:03,028 --> 00:48:04,528 You don't know shit, Chris. 709 00:48:05,997 --> 00:48:08,566 - You don't have a... - I don't have a what, Ken? 710 00:48:08,632 --> 00:48:10,702 A family that gives a shit about me? 711 00:48:12,704 --> 00:48:13,571 Maybe you're right. 712 00:48:13,637 --> 00:48:15,272 But at least I don't love it here. 713 00:48:16,206 --> 00:48:17,508 I don't love it here. 714 00:48:18,977 --> 00:48:20,444 Look at how hard you try 715 00:48:20,511 --> 00:48:23,080 to be the coolest person working at We Luv Toys. 716 00:48:23,147 --> 00:48:24,716 Guys, can we not do this right now? 717 00:48:24,783 --> 00:48:26,216 Me? 718 00:48:26,283 --> 00:48:27,384 You're the one that's always 719 00:48:27,451 --> 00:48:29,353 trying to get employee of the month. 720 00:48:29,420 --> 00:48:31,088 It's a fake award, Christopher. 721 00:48:31,155 --> 00:48:33,123 Don't blame me for trying my best. 722 00:48:33,190 --> 00:48:35,026 Your best. 723 00:48:35,092 --> 00:48:36,995 You call this your best? 724 00:48:37,062 --> 00:48:40,164 I've never seen a bigger waste of potential in my life. 725 00:48:40,230 --> 00:48:42,666 Oh, fuck off! 726 00:48:42,734 --> 00:48:44,268 You try to give me all these tips 727 00:48:44,335 --> 00:48:47,304 about how to live and when you were my age. 728 00:48:47,371 --> 00:48:49,473 You're not my age. 729 00:48:49,540 --> 00:48:52,944 I still have time to realize that this job was a mistake. 730 00:48:53,011 --> 00:48:54,846 You got a lot to learn, kid. 731 00:48:54,913 --> 00:48:56,881 "Kid." 732 00:48:56,948 --> 00:48:58,850 I'm not your kid. 733 00:48:58,917 --> 00:49:01,518 You see me way too often to be your actual child. 734 00:49:10,795 --> 00:49:12,296 Don't. 735 00:49:12,363 --> 00:49:14,933 At least I acknowledge that this job bums me out. 736 00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:18,569 But, my God, you treat it like it's high school, 737 00:49:18,636 --> 00:49:20,604 like you're the cool guy in shop, 738 00:49:20,671 --> 00:49:22,774 dating someone 20 years younger than you. 739 00:49:22,841 --> 00:49:24,675 Okay, we're not dating. 740 00:49:31,348 --> 00:49:32,717 I thought we were a thing. 741 00:49:32,784 --> 00:49:33,885 A thing, yeah. 742 00:49:35,285 --> 00:49:38,123 But, Ken, you're almost my dad's age. 743 00:49:40,524 --> 00:49:42,459 I will fucking kill you, nerd! 744 00:49:43,661 --> 00:49:44,996 What about all the late-night shifts? 745 00:49:45,063 --> 00:49:46,597 What about the time we made out on the train table? 746 00:49:46,664 --> 00:49:49,500 - You did what? - We made out. 747 00:49:51,002 --> 00:49:52,937 It passes the time. 748 00:49:53,004 --> 00:49:54,706 But, Ken, I don't really know you. 749 00:49:55,874 --> 00:49:57,641 I've never seen you outside of the store. 750 00:49:57,709 --> 00:49:59,778 I mean, I've... I've never even met your kids. 751 00:50:01,178 --> 00:50:03,148 Would we ever go out on a date? 752 00:50:03,213 --> 00:50:04,783 I don't think so, right? 753 00:50:05,950 --> 00:50:07,351 Pancakes. 754 00:50:11,856 --> 00:50:13,091 No? 755 00:50:25,070 --> 00:50:26,603 So that's it? 756 00:50:28,006 --> 00:50:31,341 You guys all think I'm some sort of fucking loser, huh? 757 00:50:39,751 --> 00:50:40,819 I'm out of here. 758 00:50:43,287 --> 00:50:44,621 Let's go. 759 00:51:08,479 --> 00:51:10,380 What exactly are we looking for? 760 00:51:10,447 --> 00:51:11,883 I'm fresh out of ideas. 761 00:51:17,254 --> 00:51:20,457 There's got to be a circuit breaker or something in here. 762 00:51:38,209 --> 00:51:39,878 I can do you one better. 763 00:52:10,374 --> 00:52:12,110 Hey, what's the plan? 764 00:52:12,177 --> 00:52:13,510 Lou attacked you guys, right? 765 00:52:13,577 --> 00:52:15,379 Damn straight. He showed Ken what's what. 766 00:52:15,445 --> 00:52:16,580 Right, which means the truck 767 00:52:16,647 --> 00:52:17,949 is still parked in the loading dock. 768 00:52:18,016 --> 00:52:19,784 And the keys are still in the truck. He told me. 769 00:52:19,851 --> 00:52:20,985 If we bust open those locks, 770 00:52:21,052 --> 00:52:22,386 we can get into the bed of the truck. 771 00:52:22,452 --> 00:52:23,755 That's our way out of here. 772 00:52:23,822 --> 00:52:25,355 What happens when you get into the truck bed? 773 00:52:25,422 --> 00:52:26,523 I figured there's got to be a hatch 774 00:52:26,590 --> 00:52:28,092 to the front seat, right? 775 00:52:28,159 --> 00:52:30,295 Got it! Let's go. 776 00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:32,429 All right, team. 777 00:52:32,496 --> 00:52:34,232 Listen up. 778 00:52:34,299 --> 00:52:36,234 I've made a decision. 779 00:52:36,301 --> 00:52:39,336 As captain... 780 00:52:39,403 --> 00:52:40,705 I'm going down with the ship. 781 00:52:40,772 --> 00:52:42,339 - No! - I'm staying behind. 782 00:52:42,406 --> 00:52:43,507 That's it. 783 00:52:43,574 --> 00:52:46,510 We had turkey together. 784 00:52:46,577 --> 00:52:47,879 And pretzels. 785 00:52:47,946 --> 00:52:51,182 Jonathan, now is not the time, okay? 786 00:52:51,249 --> 00:52:53,350 Then when is my time, huh? 787 00:52:55,552 --> 00:52:58,622 Call me a fool, but I love it here. 788 00:52:59,824 --> 00:53:01,658 This is my favorite place in the whole world, 789 00:53:01,726 --> 00:53:05,029 and it would be an honor to stay with the store 790 00:53:05,096 --> 00:53:06,965 in its final hours, 791 00:53:07,031 --> 00:53:09,834 as any good and strong manager would. 792 00:53:13,403 --> 00:53:16,241 I told you they never die. 793 00:53:20,444 --> 00:53:23,047 Oh, this just got really bad. 794 00:53:47,805 --> 00:53:49,640 Go, get outta here! 795 00:53:58,683 --> 00:54:00,051 - Ken! - Don't! 796 00:54:19,170 --> 00:54:22,907 Motherfucker! Ow! Ow! 797 00:54:34,185 --> 00:54:35,219 Ow! 798 00:54:36,453 --> 00:54:38,455 I think we're clear. 799 00:54:38,522 --> 00:54:39,891 Maybe they do die. 800 00:54:39,958 --> 00:54:41,125 - Ken. - Are you okay? 801 00:54:41,192 --> 00:54:42,827 Wait, wait, wait. 802 00:54:42,894 --> 00:54:44,729 Stay back. Do not come over here. 803 00:54:46,463 --> 00:54:47,899 Oh, my God. 804 00:54:47,966 --> 00:54:49,133 What happened? 805 00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:52,669 What does it look like? Fucking new guy bit me. 806 00:54:54,638 --> 00:54:56,341 I can fix this. We can fix this. 807 00:54:56,407 --> 00:54:57,709 No. No. 808 00:54:57,775 --> 00:54:59,543 You saw what happened to Anita and Emmett. 809 00:54:59,609 --> 00:55:00,878 If they bite you, you turn into one of them. 810 00:55:00,945 --> 00:55:02,512 No, no, no, no. Don't say that. 811 00:55:02,579 --> 00:55:03,881 Well, that is the mythos, right? 812 00:55:03,948 --> 00:55:06,150 Shut the fuck up, Jonathan! 813 00:55:06,217 --> 00:55:09,153 What happened to going down with the ship, huh, Captain? 814 00:55:09,220 --> 00:55:10,788 I guess I changed my mind. 815 00:55:10,855 --> 00:55:12,656 We can cut the arm off. 816 00:55:12,724 --> 00:55:14,726 Let's lop it off. 817 00:55:14,792 --> 00:55:17,996 Guys, you already took my dignity. 818 00:55:19,197 --> 00:55:20,530 Leave my arm. 819 00:55:22,300 --> 00:55:23,567 Get out of here. 820 00:55:23,633 --> 00:55:26,037 Put something in the door. Don't let me out. 821 00:55:28,638 --> 00:55:30,008 Here. 822 00:55:31,409 --> 00:55:33,277 Ken, I'm... I'm sorry. 823 00:55:35,747 --> 00:55:37,547 Yeah, me too, kid. 824 00:56:05,476 --> 00:56:06,844 Fuck. 825 00:56:08,112 --> 00:56:11,149 Come on, man! When are you gonna take me? 826 00:56:11,215 --> 00:56:13,518 Fuck! 827 00:56:13,583 --> 00:56:15,920 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 828 00:56:15,987 --> 00:56:19,223 Want to go someplace new, new. 829 00:56:19,290 --> 00:56:21,993 Not my... not myself. 830 00:56:22,060 --> 00:56:25,063 Been a long... been a long day, day, day. 831 00:56:25,129 --> 00:56:27,799 Been a long... been a long day. 832 00:56:27,865 --> 00:56:29,367 Fuck off, Dour Dennis. 833 00:56:29,434 --> 00:56:31,635 Yet others are going through much worse. 834 00:56:31,702 --> 00:56:33,171 Fuck off, man. 835 00:56:39,110 --> 00:56:40,945 You know what you're doing? 836 00:56:41,012 --> 00:56:43,748 No, but I figure if I climb out of the hatch 837 00:56:43,815 --> 00:56:45,349 and get to the front seat, it's our way out of here. 838 00:56:45,416 --> 00:56:47,085 Okay. Good plan. 839 00:56:47,151 --> 00:56:49,754 'Cause my Elks Lodge is only about six miles away. 840 00:56:49,821 --> 00:56:51,355 Or the police station. 841 00:56:51,422 --> 00:56:53,491 The police are here and they're monsters now. 842 00:56:53,558 --> 00:56:54,725 Now? 843 00:56:54,792 --> 00:56:57,829 Look, I'll get us somewhere, okay? 844 00:56:57,895 --> 00:57:00,031 Brian, about a year ago, 845 00:57:00,098 --> 00:57:01,766 corporate sent transportation... 846 00:57:01,833 --> 00:57:03,633 Hey, I hope you don't believe what Ken said. 847 00:57:03,701 --> 00:57:05,103 It's not true. 848 00:57:06,270 --> 00:57:07,671 It's true. 849 00:57:07,738 --> 00:57:09,673 I don't know if he meant it, but it's true. 850 00:57:11,342 --> 00:57:14,345 I made things uncomfortable by bringing you into that fight. 851 00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:17,181 You're too good of a person. 852 00:57:17,248 --> 00:57:18,483 You remember Christmas last year, 853 00:57:18,549 --> 00:57:19,851 we caught that woman stealing? 854 00:57:19,917 --> 00:57:21,252 I wanted to stop her. Y-y... 855 00:57:21,319 --> 00:57:24,288 She had kids. She was stealing for them. 856 00:57:24,355 --> 00:57:25,456 What? 857 00:57:27,058 --> 00:57:29,060 What was I supposed to do, call the cops 858 00:57:29,127 --> 00:57:31,429 so that she'd get arrested and her kids would find out 859 00:57:31,496 --> 00:57:34,365 in the worst possible way that Santa's not real? 860 00:57:34,432 --> 00:57:35,867 You let her do it? 861 00:57:35,933 --> 00:57:38,903 Marnie... you did the right thing. 862 00:57:41,706 --> 00:57:43,040 Let's help Chris out. 863 00:58:03,728 --> 00:58:06,063 Hey, how do you feel today, feel today? 864 00:58:06,130 --> 00:58:09,000 You know, I'm not doing too good, Dour Dennis, 865 00:58:09,066 --> 00:58:10,434 but I appreciate the sentiment. 866 00:58:10,501 --> 00:58:13,371 Just always feel bad, bad, bad. 867 00:58:13,437 --> 00:58:14,872 That's great. 868 00:58:14,939 --> 00:58:16,841 That's just fucking awesome. 869 00:58:21,779 --> 00:58:23,080 I'm good. 870 00:58:35,526 --> 00:58:37,128 Ah, fuck. 871 00:58:38,729 --> 00:58:40,431 God damn it, Brian! 872 00:58:46,170 --> 00:58:48,839 What are the odds Chris fucks this up? 873 00:58:48,906 --> 00:58:50,875 You know, you are a real boner killer, 874 00:58:50,942 --> 00:58:51,943 you know that? 875 00:58:59,483 --> 00:59:00,518 Bircher. 876 00:59:26,811 --> 00:59:29,681 An emergency at-home order has been put in place... 877 00:59:31,649 --> 00:59:33,484 What do I do here? 878 00:59:33,551 --> 00:59:35,553 Civilians are advised... 879 00:59:35,620 --> 00:59:36,754 What is this? 880 00:59:36,821 --> 00:59:38,289 What are all these buttons? 881 00:59:38,356 --> 00:59:41,058 I repeat: stay in your home. 882 00:59:41,125 --> 00:59:44,195 An emergency at-home order has been put in place... 883 00:59:44,262 --> 00:59:47,531 "You should have taken shop." Shut the fuck up, Dad! 884 00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:50,702 Civilians are advised to avoid 885 00:59:50,768 --> 00:59:52,603 any and all retail areas. 886 00:59:55,573 --> 00:59:57,208 I can't do this at my house. 887 00:59:57,275 --> 00:59:59,711 My house is a mess, mess, mess, mess. 888 00:59:59,777 --> 01:00:01,445 Quiet, Dennis. They'll hear us. 889 01:00:04,582 --> 01:00:06,150 Oh, fuck. 890 01:00:11,222 --> 01:00:12,423 Get it together, together. 891 01:00:12,490 --> 01:00:14,058 It's not like my life was my choice. 892 01:00:14,125 --> 01:00:16,961 Hey! This is for employees only! 893 01:00:19,030 --> 01:00:20,498 Come on, Dennis. 894 01:00:25,202 --> 01:00:26,937 My wife left me, so I guess 895 01:00:27,004 --> 01:00:29,407 I can do whatever the fuck I want. 896 01:00:51,028 --> 01:00:52,897 What happened to the plan, Chris? 897 01:00:52,963 --> 01:00:54,565 I can't drive this truck. 898 01:00:54,632 --> 01:00:56,735 That's what you get for not taking shop class. 899 01:00:56,802 --> 01:00:58,602 Shh, shh! The... they'll hear us. 900 01:00:58,669 --> 01:01:00,304 I saw Bircher outside. 901 01:01:00,371 --> 01:01:03,641 He was like Emmett. He turned but maybe worse. 902 01:01:03,709 --> 01:01:05,543 I-I don't know. 903 01:01:05,609 --> 01:01:08,212 I don't think he saw me. 904 01:01:55,893 --> 01:01:57,294 Are you okay? 905 01:01:58,662 --> 01:02:00,131 Chris! 906 01:02:03,901 --> 01:02:05,603 No, no, no, no, no, no! 907 01:02:07,138 --> 01:02:08,840 Help! 908 01:02:12,943 --> 01:02:15,312 Aah! 909 01:02:15,379 --> 01:02:16,914 Shit! 910 01:02:16,981 --> 01:02:19,617 Jonathan, open the back door! 911 01:02:19,684 --> 01:02:21,152 We're safe in here, no? 912 01:02:21,218 --> 01:02:22,353 No! Obviously not. 913 01:02:22,420 --> 01:02:23,822 These things are fast and strong. 914 01:02:23,889 --> 01:02:24,922 They'll rip this truck apart. 915 01:02:28,058 --> 01:02:29,660 Go! Go! Get the back! 916 01:02:29,728 --> 01:02:31,095 - Okay. Okay. - GO! Go! 917 01:03:16,842 --> 01:03:18,442 What are we gonna do? 918 01:03:18,509 --> 01:03:22,246 Okay. Marnie, grab the back of my sweater. 919 01:03:22,313 --> 01:03:24,448 Then Chris, Brian, you last. 920 01:03:24,515 --> 01:03:25,649 Me last? 921 01:03:25,717 --> 01:03:27,418 Well, unfortunately, these things are hungry, 922 01:03:27,485 --> 01:03:30,020 and well, you're the slowest and the juiciest. 923 01:03:46,337 --> 01:03:48,005 Are you crazy? We can't see in there. 924 01:03:48,072 --> 01:03:49,507 You can't, maybe. 925 01:03:49,573 --> 01:03:52,042 I can walk through this whole store with my eyes closed. 926 01:03:52,109 --> 01:03:54,178 Come on. Grab on. Let's move! 927 01:03:58,182 --> 01:03:59,684 I can't see anything. 928 01:03:59,751 --> 01:04:01,552 Shut the fuck up, juicy. 929 01:04:27,177 --> 01:04:28,479 This was a good call. 930 01:04:28,546 --> 01:04:30,314 Go high, you know. That's what they say. 931 01:04:30,381 --> 01:04:32,918 - Who? - I don't know, sports people? 932 01:04:32,984 --> 01:04:35,787 Marnie, where did the rest of the shoppers go? 933 01:04:46,831 --> 01:04:48,365 Hello, hello, hello. 934 01:04:48,432 --> 01:04:51,435 Maybe you could love me. Maybe you could love me. 935 01:05:04,248 --> 01:05:06,785 Guys, over here. 936 01:05:07,953 --> 01:05:09,553 Hey, uh, 937 01:05:09,620 --> 01:05:12,222 I'm totes sorry that I left you on the sales floor. 938 01:05:12,289 --> 01:05:13,390 It's all right. Forget about it. 939 01:05:13,457 --> 01:05:15,225 No, I've been a bitch. 940 01:05:15,292 --> 01:05:17,661 But I've totally taken control since then. 941 01:05:17,729 --> 01:05:19,563 I totally helped with Ken. 942 01:05:19,630 --> 01:05:20,732 What? 943 01:05:22,132 --> 01:05:23,300 Oh, no! 944 01:05:23,367 --> 01:05:24,869 It's spreading too fast. 945 01:05:26,136 --> 01:05:29,273 No, no, no! We got to put it out. 946 01:05:30,942 --> 01:05:32,811 No, no! 947 01:05:32,877 --> 01:05:35,279 I don't care how much smoke. Back down the hatch! 948 01:05:42,119 --> 01:05:43,989 Oh, there they are. 949 01:05:44,055 --> 01:05:46,024 We don't have a way out. 950 01:05:46,091 --> 01:05:49,627 You know the worst thing about holiday shoppers? 951 01:05:50,494 --> 01:05:53,263 They can never accept the fact that the night is over. 952 01:05:54,099 --> 01:05:57,869 They have no idea what it takes to work in retail. 953 01:05:57,936 --> 01:06:02,673 Year after year dealing with hordes of unruly customers. 954 01:06:02,741 --> 01:06:04,709 You know what? 955 01:06:04,776 --> 01:06:08,780 My face hurts because of all the fake smiles! 956 01:06:11,582 --> 01:06:14,719 My ears hurt from listening to Air Supply 957 01:06:14,786 --> 01:06:17,922 50,000 times! 958 01:06:19,256 --> 01:06:24,161 Worst of all, my fucking feet hurt! 959 01:06:24,228 --> 01:06:26,163 What is he doing? 960 01:06:26,230 --> 01:06:27,766 I think he's finally had enough. 961 01:06:27,832 --> 01:06:31,903 It's right there in the manager's handbook. 962 01:06:31,970 --> 01:06:36,206 The people that work for you should be treated... 963 01:06:36,273 --> 01:06:37,709 like family. 964 01:06:37,776 --> 01:06:40,712 Well, these kids, they're special to me. 965 01:06:41,913 --> 01:06:44,149 They're my family. 966 01:06:44,214 --> 01:06:45,850 Jonathan, what are you doing? 967 01:06:49,353 --> 01:06:51,923 So attention, shoppers, 968 01:06:51,990 --> 01:06:56,226 Black Friday is over! 969 01:06:56,293 --> 01:06:57,962 Whoo! 970 01:07:44,608 --> 01:07:46,477 Somebody say something. 971 01:07:49,313 --> 01:07:51,281 I bit Ken. 972 01:07:51,348 --> 01:07:52,382 You what? 973 01:07:56,888 --> 01:08:00,591 Ma'am, I have the right to refuse service to anybody! 974 01:08:00,657 --> 01:08:03,061 And it doesn't matter appear you're wearing a shirt 975 01:08:03,128 --> 01:08:05,964 or shoes, ma'am! 976 01:08:08,532 --> 01:08:10,667 I'll rip this place apart, including you! 977 01:08:10,735 --> 01:08:12,771 Oh, get it together, dickless! 978 01:08:28,585 --> 01:08:31,421 I made a choice, and I bit him. 979 01:08:33,057 --> 01:08:35,994 Ken Bates was no hero. 980 01:08:36,060 --> 01:08:38,328 He was a drunk and a creep. 981 01:08:39,898 --> 01:08:42,000 So I did us all a favor. 982 01:08:42,066 --> 01:08:45,136 You are a horrible person. 983 01:08:45,203 --> 01:08:47,272 You piece of shit. 984 01:08:47,337 --> 01:08:48,840 What the fuck? 985 01:08:48,907 --> 01:08:50,241 You didn't even think about his daughters! 986 01:08:50,307 --> 01:08:51,475 Marnie! Marnie, please! 987 01:08:51,542 --> 01:08:52,911 These are more than microaggressions! 988 01:08:52,977 --> 01:08:54,279 I fucking hate you! 989 01:08:54,344 --> 01:08:56,547 Guys, stop fighting, okay? Not now. 990 01:08:56,613 --> 01:08:58,016 Grab some garland and some lights. 991 01:08:58,082 --> 01:08:59,483 We can rappel off this thing. 992 01:09:43,328 --> 01:09:44,762 I'm okay! 993 01:09:46,130 --> 01:09:47,431 Yeah, me too! 994 01:09:47,497 --> 01:09:49,868 Oh, why are those things so filthy? 995 01:09:51,401 --> 01:09:52,971 Guys, why is the garbage so wet? 996 01:09:53,037 --> 01:09:55,039 Chris, you can do it. 997 01:09:56,207 --> 01:09:57,742 Three, two. 998 01:09:57,809 --> 01:09:58,675 Come on. 999 01:09:58,743 --> 01:10:00,345 Mm-mm. Mm-mm. 1000 01:10:00,410 --> 01:10:03,047 Oh! Five, four... 1001 01:10:03,114 --> 01:10:05,216 Whoa! 1002 01:10:05,283 --> 01:10:06,918 Oh, God. 1003 01:10:06,985 --> 01:10:09,254 Are you okay? 1004 01:10:09,320 --> 01:10:11,089 That thing just shook me off the side of the roof, 1005 01:10:11,155 --> 01:10:13,457 which is perfectly fine because I was gonna jump anyway. 1006 01:10:13,523 --> 01:10:14,424 It's, like, not even that bad in here. 1007 01:10:14,491 --> 01:10:16,493 Okay, Chris. Let's go. 1008 01:10:16,560 --> 01:10:18,997 Chris? What about me? 1009 01:10:20,798 --> 01:10:24,335 You can stay here with the rest of the trash. 1010 01:10:24,401 --> 01:10:26,237 Ow! 1011 01:10:26,304 --> 01:10:27,972 I'm sorry! 1012 01:10:28,039 --> 01:10:31,075 He was kind of on all of our shit, though, right? 1013 01:10:31,142 --> 01:10:32,576 I mean, he said you were 1014 01:10:32,643 --> 01:10:35,847 a waste of potential, Chris, right? 1015 01:10:35,914 --> 01:10:38,448 He said that you were his girlfriend. 1016 01:10:38,515 --> 01:10:40,450 Girl, bye! 1017 01:10:40,517 --> 01:10:42,419 Dude was gonna lead us to certain death 1018 01:10:42,486 --> 01:10:44,621 'cause he was afraid for his daughters. 1019 01:10:45,690 --> 01:10:47,591 I did us all a favor! 1020 01:10:49,827 --> 01:10:50,962 Hey! 1021 01:11:00,004 --> 01:11:01,672 We have to make a run for it. 1022 01:11:01,739 --> 01:11:03,908 Check every car, and try to stay quiet. 1023 01:11:09,914 --> 01:11:11,716 Any of those things out here? 1024 01:11:11,783 --> 01:11:14,686 I think they're inside of that... thing. 1025 01:11:14,752 --> 01:11:16,020 Looks like the coast is clear. 1026 01:11:18,588 --> 01:11:20,224 This place is gonna blow. 1027 01:11:20,291 --> 01:11:22,459 Try to find a car that's unlocked. 1028 01:11:22,526 --> 01:11:23,493 Jonathan would have had a plan! 1029 01:11:23,560 --> 01:11:26,230 We need a plan! 1030 01:11:26,297 --> 01:11:28,166 Oh, shit! 1031 01:11:36,606 --> 01:11:38,343 Oh, Brian, God damn it! 1032 01:11:42,512 --> 01:11:44,015 Let's go. 1033 01:11:54,092 --> 01:11:56,660 What the fuck is he doing now? 1034 01:12:03,533 --> 01:12:06,004 Oh, my God. 1035 01:12:08,306 --> 01:12:10,108 What is that thing? 1036 01:12:18,349 --> 01:12:21,052 It's mom-fucking-Kong. 1037 01:12:28,625 --> 01:12:29,894 What do we do now? 1038 01:12:32,397 --> 01:12:34,032 It's all the shoppers. 1039 01:12:40,104 --> 01:12:42,006 What if I can get through to it? 1040 01:12:46,310 --> 01:12:47,611 Are you crazy? 1041 01:12:48,612 --> 01:12:50,748 It's a management thing. 1042 01:12:50,815 --> 01:12:52,483 You'd never understand, Marnie. 1043 01:12:58,256 --> 01:13:00,491 Hi there! 1044 01:13:00,557 --> 01:13:02,960 My name is Brian. 1045 01:13:03,027 --> 01:13:04,495 And I love toys! 1046 01:13:13,504 --> 01:13:14,806 Okay. 1047 01:13:14,872 --> 01:13:16,908 I know you're scared. 1048 01:13:16,974 --> 01:13:20,378 I'm scared too. That's right. 1049 01:13:20,445 --> 01:13:22,612 I'm not gonna hurt you. 1050 01:13:22,680 --> 01:13:24,648 Come closer. 1051 01:13:24,715 --> 01:13:26,851 You and I have been through a lot, you know? 1052 01:13:28,152 --> 01:13:31,055 You remember Black Friday 2016? 1053 01:13:34,225 --> 01:13:37,728 Uh, I know the shopper experience. 1054 01:13:37,795 --> 01:13:40,465 I mean, as I always say, 1055 01:13:40,531 --> 01:13:42,967 when in doubt, go shopping! 1056 01:13:49,073 --> 01:13:52,210 You and me, we have so many mems. 1057 01:13:54,644 --> 01:13:56,646 If anyone knows, 1058 01:13:56,714 --> 01:13:58,249 the customer's always r... 1059 01:13:59,750 --> 01:14:01,352 Oh, my God. 1060 01:14:03,855 --> 01:14:05,389 Shit. Shit. 1061 01:14:05,456 --> 01:14:06,858 Ken's SUV is over there. 1062 01:14:07,825 --> 01:14:09,659 He didn't give us the keys. 1063 01:14:12,396 --> 01:14:15,166 And he didn't put the fucking carts away! 1064 01:14:15,233 --> 01:14:16,666 Knock, knock! 1065 01:14:20,738 --> 01:14:23,774 You're supposed to say, "Who's there?" 1066 01:14:23,841 --> 01:14:25,977 - Now a bad time for a dad joke? - Ken! 1067 01:14:28,212 --> 01:14:29,847 We didn't think you'd make it. 1068 01:14:29,914 --> 01:14:31,349 Did you see Brian get just fucking... 1069 01:14:31,415 --> 01:14:32,517 Like a paper football. 1070 01:14:36,687 --> 01:14:39,423 Ken, I'm sorry. 1071 01:14:39,490 --> 01:14:42,527 I'm sorry too. I was an asshole. 1072 01:14:42,593 --> 01:14:43,828 You're too good for a toy store. 1073 01:14:43,895 --> 01:14:45,229 You both are. 1074 01:14:45,296 --> 01:14:46,864 That's why we need to get out of here. 1075 01:14:46,931 --> 01:14:48,699 Come on, let's go. Go, go, go, go! 1076 01:15:08,019 --> 01:15:09,320 What the hell are we gonna do? 1077 01:15:09,387 --> 01:15:11,822 If we run, that thing's gonna pick us off. 1078 01:15:12,924 --> 01:15:14,091 I have an idea. 1079 01:15:19,897 --> 01:15:21,966 Chris, please don't play hero. 1080 01:15:22,033 --> 01:15:24,402 Can you distract that thing? 1081 01:15:24,468 --> 01:15:25,703 I'ma hold you down. 1082 01:15:25,770 --> 01:15:28,372 - Don't. - No, Jonathan was right. 1083 01:15:28,439 --> 01:15:30,007 It's fucking Thanksgiving. 1084 01:15:30,074 --> 01:15:31,409 I'm deciding right here right now, 1085 01:15:31,475 --> 01:15:32,843 you guys are my family. 1086 01:15:32,910 --> 01:15:34,111 - So can you do it? - Yeah. 1087 01:15:35,646 --> 01:15:37,582 No, I'll do it. He's got kids. 1088 01:15:37,648 --> 01:15:39,784 No, no, you won't. Hey! Hey! 1089 01:15:39,850 --> 01:15:41,619 Whoa! Hey, right here! 1090 01:15:41,687 --> 01:15:44,255 Hey, right here! Hey! 1091 01:15:48,926 --> 01:15:51,028 I don't like you. 1092 01:15:51,095 --> 01:15:53,164 I don't have to help you. 1093 01:15:53,231 --> 01:15:55,566 I got your discount right here. 1094 01:15:55,633 --> 01:15:57,802 Look at this. Whoa, whoa, hey! 1095 01:15:57,868 --> 01:15:59,971 Hey, check this out. Check it out, huh? 1096 01:16:00,037 --> 01:16:03,140 You see that? Hey! Hey! 1097 01:16:03,207 --> 01:16:05,776 Right here, you big bitch! Right here! 1098 01:16:07,778 --> 01:16:10,181 I don't need to help you. 1099 01:16:10,248 --> 01:16:13,584 I got your discount right here! Look at this. 1100 01:16:13,651 --> 01:16:16,220 Look here! 1101 01:16:16,287 --> 01:16:18,122 Hey! Hey! 1102 01:16:18,189 --> 01:16:20,057 Yo! 1103 01:16:32,169 --> 01:16:33,739 Oh, no! 1104 01:16:33,804 --> 01:16:36,574 Oh, no, Chris. No. 1105 01:17:07,538 --> 01:17:09,307 Come on! 1106 01:17:26,424 --> 01:17:28,092 Yes! Bang! 1107 01:17:56,087 --> 01:17:57,855 I think I just pissed it off. 1108 01:18:12,970 --> 01:18:14,572 Come on! I think we can make it to my car. 1109 01:18:14,638 --> 01:18:15,741 Let's go! Come on! 1110 01:18:15,807 --> 01:18:16,974 Come on! 1111 01:18:39,865 --> 01:18:41,665 Just a thing? 1112 01:18:41,733 --> 01:18:43,300 Just a thing. 1113 01:18:43,367 --> 01:18:44,435 Let's go. 1114 01:18:48,439 --> 01:18:49,907 Leah texted. 1115 01:18:49,974 --> 01:18:52,042 My daughters are okay. 1116 01:18:52,109 --> 01:18:54,478 They set up safe havens for people. 1117 01:18:55,212 --> 01:18:57,214 Sounds good to me. Let's do it. 1118 01:18:58,349 --> 01:19:00,651 We gotta make a detour first. 1119 01:19:00,719 --> 01:19:02,019 For what? 1120 01:19:03,487 --> 01:19:04,689 For pancakes. 1121 01:19:07,726 --> 01:19:08,959 Let's go! 1122 01:19:11,362 --> 01:19:12,798 Well... 1123 01:19:12,864 --> 01:19:14,932 well... well... well, 1124 01:19:14,999 --> 01:19:17,201 it's been a long day, day, day. 1125 01:19:17,268 --> 01:19:20,438 And this is surely the end. 1126 01:19:37,971 --> 01:19:41,440 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull76898

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.