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1
00:00:06,582 --> 00:00:08,398
(woman yodeling)
2
00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:10,384
♪ ♪
3
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:16,757
(yodeling stops)
4
00:00:16,925 --> 00:00:19,101
♪ ♪
5
00:00:23,599 --> 00:00:25,507
(crickets chirping)
6
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:27,568
♪ ♪
7
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,600
(puppies yipping)
8
00:00:43,693 --> 00:00:46,436
Congratulations, sir--
it's eight puppies.
9
00:00:46,455 --> 00:00:48,380
Four boys, three girls, and, uh,
10
00:00:48,532 --> 00:00:50,957
one who would prefer
not to be labeled yet.
11
00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:53,052
Excellent,
eight purebred puppies
12
00:00:53,203 --> 00:00:54,461
descended from the
first litter
13
00:00:54,613 --> 00:00:57,222
of Karl Friedrich Dobermann
himself.
14
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,299
Smithers, you're in charge
of their training.
15
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,635
Teach them all
the classic commands.
16
00:01:01,787 --> 00:01:03,303
Sit, stay...
17
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,565
and bite striking workers
with your "wittle teefers."
18
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:07,958
Yes, Mr. Burns.
19
00:01:07,976 --> 00:01:10,143
And you've allowed
the training dummies
20
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:12,053
to fall into terrible disrepair.
21
00:01:12,147 --> 00:01:13,772
So I've ordered a new one.
22
00:01:13,999 --> 00:01:15,390
Here he is now.
23
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,409
Um, I was told
there'd be a taco truck?
24
00:01:17,636 --> 00:01:20,137
Don't worry, their adult teeth
haven't come in yet.
25
00:01:20,155 --> 00:01:22,581
Just look out for
their much sharper baby teeth.
26
00:01:22,808 --> 00:01:24,708
-(puppies snarling)
-(Homer shouting)
27
00:01:25,811 --> 00:01:28,629
-(whimpers)
-Hmm. Hmm.
28
00:01:29,665 --> 00:01:31,315
(snarls)
29
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:34,075
Ah, I guess
"Executive Kennel Supervisor"
30
00:01:34,169 --> 00:01:36,169
is all I'll ever be
to Mr. Burns.
31
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,171
Nothing-- ow-- worse-- ow--
32
00:01:38,324 --> 00:01:40,324
than not being respected--
ow--
33
00:01:40,417 --> 00:01:41,749
at work! Ow!
34
00:01:41,918 --> 00:01:44,010
♪ ♪
35
00:01:44,163 --> 00:01:46,605
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Ow. (moans)
36
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,608
Ow. Ow. Ow.
37
00:01:49,835 --> 00:01:52,277
-Ow.
-Aw!
38
00:01:53,172 --> 00:01:55,672
-(snarling)
-(grunting)
39
00:01:55,765 --> 00:01:57,691
(snarling)
40
00:01:57,843 --> 00:02:00,010
Ah, the puppies are finally
41
00:02:00,028 --> 00:02:01,436
murderous enough
to be doled out
42
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:04,364
to my rich and powerful allies
who need watchdogs.
43
00:02:04,516 --> 00:02:06,533
Now to look through the pile
of bribes
44
00:02:06,685 --> 00:02:09,628
and see who's begging
hard enough to earn a puppy.
45
00:02:09,855 --> 00:02:13,857
Warren Buffett sent this box
of broken wooden pieces.
46
00:02:13,876 --> 00:02:15,175
Sir, that's a puzzle.
47
00:02:15,361 --> 00:02:16,526
(chuckles)
It certainly is a puzzle.
48
00:02:16,545 --> 00:02:19,304
What's his game,
sending me these misshapen bits?
49
00:02:19,456 --> 00:02:22,641
Uh, well, it's an activity
people do for fun.
50
00:02:22,792 --> 00:02:24,977
With their friends.
Perhaps you and I could--
51
00:02:25,128 --> 00:02:26,979
Perhaps you could
stop assuming familiarity
52
00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:28,221
with your betters.
53
00:02:28,374 --> 00:02:29,982
Now de-gunk the puppies' eyes!
54
00:02:30,133 --> 00:02:31,733
(Smithers groans sadly)
55
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,989
(whimpering nearby)
56
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:42,235
Oh, if only I'd been born
in a litter of puppies,
57
00:02:42,388 --> 00:02:44,479
then maybe someone
would love me.
58
00:02:44,573 --> 00:02:46,540
(clears his throat)
Simpson!
59
00:02:47,059 --> 00:02:48,725
(sniffles)
60
00:02:48,818 --> 00:02:51,244
Come on, Mr. Smithers,
you don't have to be lonely.
61
00:02:51,397 --> 00:02:53,246
You've totally got it going on.
62
00:02:53,399 --> 00:02:55,841
You've got that bow tie
and those glasses
63
00:02:56,068 --> 00:02:58,902
and that hunky nasal voice.
64
00:02:58,921 --> 00:03:01,346
Oh, sadly, the Springfield
dating pool is
65
00:03:01,498 --> 00:03:03,089
pretty bleak.
66
00:03:03,166 --> 00:03:05,333
It's always guys
who don't want to commit,
67
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,928
or straight guys
who are going through a phase.
68
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:09,837
Disco Stu is
69
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:12,173
hetero-flexible. Ooh!
70
00:03:12,267 --> 00:03:15,009
(sighs) I just want someone
to be there when I get home.
71
00:03:15,103 --> 00:03:17,845
Someone who loves me
unconditionally.
72
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,847
Oh, yeah, that's the good stuff.
73
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,942
It's the conditions
that'll kill ya.
74
00:03:22,094 --> 00:03:24,519
Mr. Smithers, I'm gonna
find you a man-Marge.
75
00:03:24,613 --> 00:03:26,780
Look at this guy--
he seems perfect!
76
00:03:26,932 --> 00:03:28,523
That's me.
77
00:03:28,617 --> 00:03:30,100
Oh, yeah.
78
00:03:30,193 --> 00:03:32,336
Well, it is
a much younger picture.
79
00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:35,530
Goodbye. Thank you for the oil.
80
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:36,773
I love it.
81
00:03:36,942 --> 00:03:38,032
Excellent.
82
00:03:38,126 --> 00:03:40,034
Well, that's the last
of the litter.
83
00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:42,946
Oh, except for you.
84
00:03:43,039 --> 00:03:45,115
You're no killer,
with those soft eyes
85
00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:46,708
and kind disposition.
86
00:03:46,802 --> 00:03:49,427
You've brought shame to
the very notion of inbreeding.
87
00:03:49,580 --> 00:03:50,878
Go on, bite him.
88
00:03:50,973 --> 00:03:53,148
Bite his doughy face.
89
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,901
(groans)
90
00:03:56,128 --> 00:03:58,295
Who's gonna take you home?
91
00:03:58,464 --> 00:04:00,130
I hope they find you a dictator
92
00:04:00,299 --> 00:04:01,740
who's as sweet as you are.
93
00:04:01,891 --> 00:04:03,075
Or...
94
00:04:03,302 --> 00:04:04,910
how about a Fortune 500
fashion designer
95
00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:08,396
who's already made a matching
suit for the puppy?
96
00:04:08,474 --> 00:04:11,250
Good muscle tone, needy,
with a slight drooling problem.
97
00:04:11,401 --> 00:04:13,961
Reminds me of my last boyfriend.
98
00:04:14,070 --> 00:04:18,090
HOMER:
His last girlfriend was a boy?
99
00:04:18,241 --> 00:04:21,551
Your last girlfriend was a boy?
100
00:04:22,671 --> 00:04:25,747
(speaking in Mandarin)
101
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:26,765
(knocking)
102
00:04:26,916 --> 00:04:28,341
Oh, I'm sorry. I was just...
103
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,510
Negotiating the sale
of excess Kilowatt hours
104
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:31,937
to a Chinese server farm.
105
00:04:32,164 --> 00:04:33,847
And you got a very good deal.
106
00:04:33,999 --> 00:04:34,848
Mm.
107
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:35,665
I also speak Mandarin.
108
00:04:35,684 --> 00:04:37,109
I'm Michael de Graaf,
109
00:04:37,336 --> 00:04:40,170
and I flew here from my villa
in Milan to claim this puppy.
110
00:04:40,263 --> 00:04:43,340
I can offer Burns a priceless
Impressionist painting.
111
00:04:43,358 --> 00:04:46,343
Mr. Burns' collection
could use a Manet...
112
00:04:46,436 --> 00:04:49,955
Well, I've got a Monet and a guy
who can change O's to A's.
113
00:04:50,106 --> 00:04:52,365
Mm, Mr. Burns would never know
the difference.
114
00:04:52,518 --> 00:04:55,443
He hates art-- he just wants
to keep it out of museums.
115
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,354
But first I told him
you have some questions
116
00:04:57,372 --> 00:05:00,615
about what the puppy's
looking for in a companion.
117
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,543
Well, uh, this is
an unusual Dobermann.
118
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,471
Uh, are you prepared
for a dog that's sweet,
119
00:05:06,623 --> 00:05:08,974
maybe a little shy,
but just wants to give his heart
120
00:05:09,201 --> 00:05:10,867
to someone who loves him?
121
00:05:10,886 --> 00:05:13,036
He sounds
like a dream come true.
122
00:05:13,055 --> 00:05:15,147
Okay, the puppy's yours,
Mr. de Graaf.
123
00:05:15,298 --> 00:05:16,982
Please, it's Michael.
124
00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:18,817
This calls for a celebration.
125
00:05:19,044 --> 00:05:20,635
Are you free for dinner tonight?
126
00:05:20,729 --> 00:05:21,728
I'm sorry?
127
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,396
You're talented,
smart as a whip,
128
00:05:23,549 --> 00:05:26,658
and hot in a 1960s
Cape Canaveral kind of way.
129
00:05:26,885 --> 00:05:28,885
I'd love to take you on a date.
130
00:05:28,978 --> 00:05:30,887
Well, I'd love...
131
00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:33,457
to say yes!
132
00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:36,242
♪ ♪
133
00:05:36,395 --> 00:05:39,079
I love this place!
It's so old school.
134
00:05:39,231 --> 00:05:41,840
It reminds me of my childhood--
laminated menus,
135
00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:45,235
fossilized Parmesan,
problematic murals.
136
00:05:45,253 --> 00:05:47,679
-(Michael chuckles)
-Welcome-a to Luigi's.
137
00:05:47,906 --> 00:05:49,848
Italiana food for everybody.
138
00:05:49,999 --> 00:05:53,185
I put a-salt and a-pepper
on the table,
139
00:05:53,412 --> 00:05:55,428
but for you,
such a handsome couple,
140
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,339
if you want-a pepper
and-a pepper,
141
00:05:58,433 --> 00:06:00,917
hey, that's a-wonderful, too!
142
00:06:00,936 --> 00:06:04,011
(both laugh)
143
00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:05,864
Vintage vinyl.
144
00:06:06,015 --> 00:06:07,866
Add some spikes to it,
and you've got half
145
00:06:08,017 --> 00:06:09,759
of Vivienne Westwood's career.
146
00:06:09,853 --> 00:06:10,777
(laughs)
147
00:06:10,929 --> 00:06:12,262
Okay, that was a fake laugh.
148
00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:15,115
I was afraid to admit I don't
know anything about fashion.
149
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:17,709
Oh, that's so refreshing.
150
00:06:17,936 --> 00:06:20,437
People usually want
to date me to get into GQ,
151
00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:23,382
meet Anna Wintour, or co-parent
Anderson Cooper's baby.
152
00:06:23,609 --> 00:06:26,051
I guess that was
just Anderson Cooper.
153
00:06:26,202 --> 00:06:30,138
Waylon, you are like
no one I've ever met.
154
00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:33,266
(muttering in Italian)
155
00:06:34,953 --> 00:06:37,062
Mamma, no!
God-a loves everybody!
156
00:06:37,289 --> 00:06:39,356
(shouting in Italian)
157
00:06:40,626 --> 00:06:43,460
But what about Uncle Benito
and the roommate
158
00:06:43,553 --> 00:06:45,812
he always-a brings
to Easter supper?
159
00:06:45,964 --> 00:06:47,406
(spits)
160
00:06:47,557 --> 00:06:50,634
Mamma, no! Do not put
a hex on their ziti!
161
00:06:50,727 --> 00:06:52,994
(both laughing)
162
00:06:53,805 --> 00:06:55,747
♪ ♪
163
00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,310
People like me should spend
more time in flyover country,
164
00:07:00,403 --> 00:07:02,495
see what America's really like.
165
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,090
More like fly-around country.
Planes won't go near us
166
00:07:05,317 --> 00:07:08,093
because of all the teens
with laser pointers.
167
00:07:10,989 --> 00:07:13,247
(sighs) It's a shame
you have to leave tomorrow.
168
00:07:13,341 --> 00:07:14,841
Oh, I'm canceling my flight.
169
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,159
Why?
170
00:07:16,178 --> 00:07:17,327
Because it would be much harder
171
00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:20,439
to fall in love with you
from Milan.
172
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,668
(shivering)
173
00:07:24,761 --> 00:07:26,336
Homer, what happened?
174
00:07:26,354 --> 00:07:28,188
I can feel it--
my fix-up is working.
175
00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:30,857
I changed the destiny
of two human beings.
176
00:07:31,009 --> 00:07:33,526
I am a gay matchmaking God!
177
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,346
What about some straight
matchmaking for us?
178
00:07:36,364 --> 00:07:39,332
(scoffs)
I'm a God, not a miracle worker.
179
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,040
And he posted you
on his Instagram?
180
00:07:47,192 --> 00:07:49,876
Cute caption? Gay couple emoji?
(gasps)
181
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,119
(singsongy):
I'm excited!
182
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,472
What was that?
183
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,031
Oh, just guy stuff.
184
00:07:55,124 --> 00:07:57,124
Smithers was updating me
on his boyfriend.
185
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,126
-Boyfriend?
-Yeah, no big deal.
186
00:07:59,295 --> 00:08:01,963
I kind of fixed Smithers up
with a dude I know.
187
00:08:02,057 --> 00:08:03,482
Now they're going steady.
No big deal.
188
00:08:03,709 --> 00:08:05,800
Wait, wait,
I just have one question.
189
00:08:05,894 --> 00:08:07,727
Can I ask you
a thousand questions?
190
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,197
Sorry, Marge, late for work.
191
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,991
(birds chirping)
192
00:08:13,218 --> 00:08:15,218
-Tell me everything!
-(shrieks)
193
00:08:15,311 --> 00:08:17,662
Um, they've been dating
for six weeks or so.
194
00:08:17,814 --> 00:08:18,830
You probably
don't even know him.
195
00:08:19,057 --> 00:08:20,223
He's some fashion designer guy.
196
00:08:20,242 --> 00:08:21,574
Michael de Graaf.
197
00:08:21,727 --> 00:08:22,834
What?
198
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,319
Smithers is dating
Michael de Graaf,
199
00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:29,156
the judge on seasons ten through
15 of America's Got Fabric?
200
00:08:29,251 --> 00:08:32,068
He has my favorite catchphrase!
201
00:08:32,161 --> 00:08:34,495
Now, that is avant-gorgeous.
202
00:08:34,589 --> 00:08:36,681
Oh, my God, honey, you got catchphrased.
203
00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:40,093
And he's even more famous
for his savage zings.
204
00:08:40,262 --> 00:08:42,412
I don't know.It's a little Sex and the City.
205
00:08:42,430 --> 00:08:45,857
If there were no sex and the city was Milwaukee.
206
00:08:46,009 --> 00:08:47,192
(chuckles)
207
00:08:47,343 --> 00:08:50,195
They dress so bad in Milwaukee.
208
00:08:50,422 --> 00:08:51,345
I assume.
209
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:52,364
Hmm?
210
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:54,449
(groans)
211
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:57,594
I have to meet Michael de Graaf!
212
00:08:57,763 --> 00:09:00,354
Okay, okay. When they come back
from their trip.
213
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:03,099
Ooh, whisked off
by a billionaire.
214
00:09:03,192 --> 00:09:05,544
How romantic. Where did they go?
215
00:09:05,695 --> 00:09:08,195
Well, Smithers says they're
too young for Provincetown,
216
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,123
too monogamous for Fire Island
217
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,942
and you know
how Waylon gets in Palm Springs.
218
00:09:12,961 --> 00:09:14,052
No, I don't!
219
00:09:14,203 --> 00:09:16,596
I don't know anything!
220
00:09:21,469 --> 00:09:22,727
Yeah, it's pretty sweet
221
00:09:22,879 --> 00:09:25,713
to completely alter
the course of people's lives.
222
00:09:25,791 --> 00:09:27,715
If it goes great, I'm a genius.
223
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:28,808
If it goes south,
224
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,144
I just turn off my phone.
225
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,480
Ah, a beautiful resort,
226
00:09:34,633 --> 00:09:35,907
a turquoise ocean.
227
00:09:36,134 --> 00:09:37,801
The only thing missing
is Christine Baranski
228
00:09:37,894 --> 00:09:39,302
singing "Dancing Queen."
229
00:09:39,395 --> 00:09:41,654
I thought you might say that.
230
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,898
("Dancing Queen" playing)
231
00:09:44,025 --> 00:09:47,160
♪ Friday night and the lights are low ♪
232
00:09:47,312 --> 00:09:51,072
♪ Looking out for a place to go ♪
233
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,240
Oh, my God!
How much did that cost?
234
00:09:53,409 --> 00:09:54,593
Less than you might think.
235
00:09:54,669 --> 00:09:56,836
-Oh, and I got you
something else.
-Oh.
236
00:09:56,913 --> 00:09:58,338
I call it the Waylon.
237
00:09:58,490 --> 00:10:00,915
Like you,
it's sophisticated yet playful,
238
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,992
as blue and sparkling
as your eyes.
239
00:10:03,011 --> 00:10:04,510
Okay, I've got to go.
240
00:10:04,587 --> 00:10:07,997
I'm helping a 13-year-old boy
come out to his parents.
241
00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:10,350
To Jacksonville!
242
00:10:10,502 --> 00:10:15,672
♪ Digging the dancing queen...! ♪
243
00:10:15,765 --> 00:10:17,523
(song ends)
244
00:10:17,676 --> 00:10:19,008
(bird caws)
245
00:10:19,027 --> 00:10:21,361
(panting)
Sorry I'm late, sir.
246
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,680
A-And sorry I wasn't available
this weekend.
247
00:10:23,773 --> 00:10:25,439
Or last weekend. I was...
248
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:26,774
You were gone?
(chuckles)
249
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,534
Who cares? I figured it out.
250
00:10:28,687 --> 00:10:30,462
These pieces are designed
to interlock.
251
00:10:30,689 --> 00:10:32,446
But to what purpose?
252
00:10:32,615 --> 00:10:33,857
Sir, it is a puzzle.
253
00:10:33,875 --> 00:10:35,191
Not for long, man.
254
00:10:35,284 --> 00:10:37,135
Monty Burns is on the case.
255
00:10:37,395 --> 00:10:41,723
The obvious first step is
to sort every piece by weight.
256
00:10:45,871 --> 00:10:46,978
-Waylon!
-(gasps)
257
00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:49,873
Marge? Why are you
in the executive parking lot?
258
00:10:49,891 --> 00:10:50,965
Who cares?
259
00:10:51,059 --> 00:10:53,376
Tell me
all about Michael de Graaf!
260
00:10:53,395 --> 00:10:56,546
(chuckles)
Well, Michael's kind of perfect.
261
00:10:56,564 --> 00:10:58,381
Attentive,
treats me like an equal,
262
00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,066
has never trap-doored
an entire Girl Scout troop
263
00:11:00,218 --> 00:11:01,551
because they were out
of Thin Mints.
264
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,404
I mean, it's nice to finally be
in love with someone...
265
00:11:04,556 --> 00:11:05,163
good.
266
00:11:05,314 --> 00:11:06,998
I'm dying to meet him.
267
00:11:07,150 --> 00:11:10,059
What if we threw you two
a party?
268
00:11:10,078 --> 00:11:11,744
A party. That's what people do
269
00:11:11,897 --> 00:11:13,838
when they finally have
something worth celebrating.
270
00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:16,065
-Let's do it!
-Yes!
271
00:11:16,159 --> 00:11:18,902
This makes me part
of your couple origin story.
272
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:19,903
I'm in!
273
00:11:19,921 --> 00:11:21,638
(low, upbeat music plays)
274
00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:25,742
Just what I always wanted
for him,
275
00:11:25,835 --> 00:11:27,835
a handsome
billionaire boyfriend.
276
00:11:27,929 --> 00:11:29,187
So happy.
277
00:11:29,414 --> 00:11:30,246
(grunts)
278
00:11:30,265 --> 00:11:31,839
Excuse me, Mr. de Graaf,
279
00:11:32,008 --> 00:11:34,417
we love your wicked zingers
on the show.
280
00:11:34,436 --> 00:11:35,360
Could you?
281
00:11:35,511 --> 00:11:36,361
My pleasure.
282
00:11:36,588 --> 00:11:38,438
Wow, it was so kind
of Estelle Getty
283
00:11:38,590 --> 00:11:41,348
to donate her wardrobe for
your production of The Crucible.
284
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,275
(laughs)
285
00:11:42,427 --> 00:11:44,928
Hello and welcome
to Grey Gardens.
286
00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:46,854
At least
those ladies had a look.
287
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,707
You have a "don't look."
288
00:11:48,934 --> 00:11:50,600
(laughing)
289
00:11:50,693 --> 00:11:51,543
Do you like my top?
290
00:11:51,770 --> 00:11:53,194
Yes, I love the shoulder pads.
291
00:11:53,362 --> 00:11:56,122
Is something I would have said
in the '90s but not about that.
292
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,716
Do you like my top?
293
00:11:57,867 --> 00:11:59,968
Yes. He seems very nice.
294
00:12:01,037 --> 00:12:03,221
Is it wrong
to enjoy being envied?
295
00:12:03,372 --> 00:12:05,465
Because I am savoring it.
296
00:12:05,617 --> 00:12:07,967
When did you first realize
that Homer was the one,
297
00:12:08,136 --> 00:12:09,969
the great love of your life?
298
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,546
Well, after he got me pregnant,
299
00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:15,567
I just knew he was someone
I was gonna have kids with.
300
00:12:15,794 --> 00:12:17,293
Aw. Mwah.
301
00:12:17,386 --> 00:12:19,887
Young lady, I like
your quirky fashion sense.
302
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,148
That zigzag dress hem
is everything.
303
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:25,134
Thanks, but I don't
really pay attention to fashion.
304
00:12:25,228 --> 00:12:28,137
It doesn't seem...
super important.
305
00:12:28,139 --> 00:12:30,564
I'd like to suggest
some alterations. May I?
306
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:33,659
I mean, it's a waste
of your time, but fine.
307
00:12:33,812 --> 00:12:35,736
Wearing the same thing
every day is a choice,
308
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:38,831
so I can free up my mind
to think about important things,
309
00:12:38,984 --> 00:12:40,908
rather than "Am I on trend?"
310
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,927
Ha, whatever that means.
311
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,837
You know who didn't care
about fashion?
312
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,264
Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
313
00:12:46,491 --> 00:12:48,508
She slapped on a doily
and that was enough.
314
00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:51,677
This obsession with appearance
in our culture...
315
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:52,845
Did you make me taller?
316
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,347
I feel so confident.
317
00:12:54,516 --> 00:12:58,334
I don't even have a job, but
I'm going to ask for a raise.
318
00:12:58,353 --> 00:12:59,319
(grunts)
319
00:13:00,672 --> 00:13:02,447
A toast to our hosts.
320
00:13:02,598 --> 00:13:04,023
And to Marge's hair,
321
00:13:04,175 --> 00:13:06,433
which is avant-gorgeous.
322
00:13:06,528 --> 00:13:07,860
(chuckles):
Oh!
323
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,621
And I want you to be
the first to hear--
324
00:13:09,772 --> 00:13:12,015
I've decided to manufacture
my new retail line
325
00:13:12,033 --> 00:13:13,533
right here in Springfield,
326
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:16,853
in the factory that used
to make fidget spinners.
327
00:13:16,855 --> 00:13:18,371
Spin-ners!
328
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:21,024
And if anyone needs a job,
there are applications
329
00:13:21,042 --> 00:13:24,710
right next to the best coleslaw
I've ever had.
330
00:13:24,863 --> 00:13:26,304
MARGE:
Ooh-hoo!
331
00:13:26,455 --> 00:13:27,806
(cheering)
332
00:13:27,957 --> 00:13:28,807
(grumbles)
333
00:13:29,034 --> 00:13:31,050
Mamma, everyone is-a happy.
334
00:13:31,202 --> 00:13:34,312
Why are you so against
this-a love? Why?
335
00:13:34,463 --> 00:13:35,872
I hate...
336
00:13:35,965 --> 00:13:38,465
because I hate-a myself!
337
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,210
I... I love-a the women.
338
00:13:41,212 --> 00:13:43,488
No, Mamma, you are beautiful.
339
00:13:43,715 --> 00:13:46,324
You love-a the women,
and I love-a the you.
340
00:13:46,475 --> 00:13:48,384
(both crying)
341
00:13:48,477 --> 00:13:52,738
I had a pillow
of-a Gina Lollobrigida
342
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,223
that I used to, oh...
343
00:13:54,317 --> 00:13:56,317
(speaking Italian)
344
00:13:56,411 --> 00:13:59,128
Oh, oh, okay, okay, okay, Mamma!
345
00:14:00,398 --> 00:14:02,841
(gasps) Look,
it's Michael's new factory!
346
00:14:03,068 --> 00:14:04,325
So modern.
347
00:14:04,419 --> 00:14:05,585
Can we look inside?
348
00:14:05,737 --> 00:14:07,737
Yeah, do you know anybody
that works there?
349
00:14:07,830 --> 00:14:10,423
Ha, well, they hired
most of the desperate saps
350
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:11,832
who've been unemployed forever.
351
00:14:12,001 --> 00:14:13,334
So, yeah,
I'm friends with all of 'em.
352
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:16,521
This week's trend
is glitter on sunglasses.
353
00:14:16,672 --> 00:14:18,398
So we got right on it.
354
00:14:25,773 --> 00:14:26,939
(coughs)
355
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,275
What happens
to all the toxic stuff?
356
00:14:29,427 --> 00:14:31,661
It gets off-glittered
through the chimney.
357
00:14:32,764 --> 00:14:34,097
(geese honking)
358
00:14:34,115 --> 00:14:37,458
(distressed honking)
359
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,270
Hey, look at me,
I'm a working stiff!
360
00:14:41,289 --> 00:14:43,940
Very stiff. These chemicals
are giving me a condition
361
00:14:44,033 --> 00:14:47,135
my doctor calls
"living rigor mortis."
362
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,095
(yells)
363
00:14:50,632 --> 00:14:53,374
No wonder fast fashion
is so inexpensive.
364
00:14:53,468 --> 00:14:55,727
This place is terrible
for the environment.
365
00:14:55,878 --> 00:14:57,470
And it's a sweatshop!
366
00:14:57,622 --> 00:15:00,565
No, sweetie,
it's a sweatpants shop.
367
00:15:00,716 --> 00:15:03,902
Which are made with Lycra,
which leaches into the sea.
368
00:15:04,053 --> 00:15:06,905
Our oceans
are now ten percent spandex.
369
00:15:07,056 --> 00:15:09,073
Well, then they'll fit the Earth
more snugly.
370
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:10,742
Dad, how can Michael allow this?
371
00:15:10,818 --> 00:15:13,653
I thought gay people were
supposed to be better than us.
372
00:15:13,805 --> 00:15:14,895
You mean our boss?
373
00:15:14,973 --> 00:15:15,914
He knows.
374
00:15:16,065 --> 00:15:18,166
♪ ♪
375
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,587
No. Michael's the perfect guy
for Smithers.
376
00:15:22,814 --> 00:15:24,571
I picked him out!
377
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,240
I fixed them up!
378
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:30,094
My gay matchmaking reputation
is ruined!
379
00:15:30,321 --> 00:15:32,722
The human suffering is bad, too.
380
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:40,680
(sighs) How do I tell Smithers
that the love of his life
381
00:15:40,848 --> 00:15:42,256
is running a sweatshop?
382
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,757
Hey, look,
you tried to play God,
383
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,334
and now, like God,
384
00:15:45,503 --> 00:15:49,338
you get to stand back and laugh
at all the losers' suffering.
385
00:15:49,432 --> 00:15:51,007
Ha-ha.
386
00:15:51,009 --> 00:15:52,617
Ah, losers.
387
00:15:52,844 --> 00:15:56,454
Oh, who knew gay relationships
could be complicated?
388
00:15:56,681 --> 00:15:59,273
(men moaning)
389
00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:01,608
Man, tough day on the line.
390
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:05,946
Another guy lost an arm
to the spaghetti strap slicer.
391
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,207
Oh, I don't feel so good.
392
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:11,694
I think I spent too much time
in the tie-dye chamber.
393
00:16:11,713 --> 00:16:13,012
(coughs)
394
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:14,955
You think that's bad?
395
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,725
I got to go break a guy's heart.
396
00:16:19,628 --> 00:16:21,128
There he is!
397
00:16:21,222 --> 00:16:22,629
The man who showed me
that love is real
398
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:25,541
and there is a man
at the end of the rainbow.
399
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:29,153
Oof. Speaking of showing you
things you didn't know,
400
00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:31,698
look what his factory's done
to Lake Springfield.
401
00:16:33,401 --> 00:16:34,717
Wha...? (gasps)
402
00:16:34,736 --> 00:16:37,053
HOMER:
It's gone plaid.
403
00:16:37,146 --> 00:16:39,146
(groans) M-Michael
must have an explanation.
404
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,147
He-He's a good man.
405
00:16:40,316 --> 00:16:41,891
Uh, I just need advice
406
00:16:41,909 --> 00:16:43,668
from someone who understands
the ethical challenges
407
00:16:43,895 --> 00:16:45,728
faced by business leaders.
408
00:16:45,747 --> 00:16:49,065
Smithers,
I've made amazing progress.
409
00:16:49,158 --> 00:16:51,067
By giving this enigma
my undivided attention,
410
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,919
I've proven conclusively
these pieces form...
411
00:16:54,072 --> 00:16:55,829
a secret image.
412
00:16:55,998 --> 00:16:57,406
I can't believe
I'm asking you this,
413
00:16:57,500 --> 00:17:00,409
but I-I have a question about,
uh...
414
00:17:00,428 --> 00:17:01,519
my love life.
415
00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:03,688
Indeed.
Tell me about the lucky lady.
416
00:17:03,915 --> 00:17:05,097
-Man.
-Oh. What's her...
417
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:06,265
-His.
-...name?
418
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,842
-Michael.
-Michelle. Such a lovely name.
419
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:10,010
And, uh, what does she...
420
00:17:10,104 --> 00:17:11,178
-He.
-...do?
421
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,421
Well, that's just it, sir.
422
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,348
He's the CEO of a major company.
423
00:17:14,442 --> 00:17:16,108
He's wonderful to me,
but I-I'm worried
424
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:19,095
he might ruthlessly care
about nothing but profit.
425
00:17:19,113 --> 00:17:20,538
Ooh, don't tell me,
426
00:17:20,765 --> 00:17:22,022
is it Sheryl Sandberg?
427
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,541
No, it's Michael de Graaf.
428
00:17:23,692 --> 00:17:25,935
Michael de Graaf?
Smithers, you fool.
429
00:17:26,028 --> 00:17:27,436
Marry that man right now.
430
00:17:27,455 --> 00:17:30,773
-What?
-So you have to pretend
to be gay-- who cares?
431
00:17:30,792 --> 00:17:32,124
He's a billionaire.
432
00:17:32,277 --> 00:17:34,135
Come, you must see.
433
00:17:34,962 --> 00:17:36,429
SMITHERS:
A denim fire?
434
00:17:37,465 --> 00:17:39,390
De Graaf's discovered
the secret.
435
00:17:39,542 --> 00:17:42,952
Fast fashion is far more toxic
than nuclear power.
436
00:17:43,045 --> 00:17:46,046
-It's worse?
-Nuclear energy gives people
warmth and light.
437
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:48,958
This guy is profiting
off a product nobody needs:
438
00:17:49,051 --> 00:17:51,644
a constant stream
of brand-new skinnied jeans
439
00:17:51,796 --> 00:17:54,072
and be-cropped tops.
440
00:17:55,316 --> 00:17:57,700
Look what they've done
to Blinky.
441
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,747
Our toxins may have created
the three-eyed fish,
442
00:18:02,898 --> 00:18:04,473
but we never managed to kill it.
443
00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:06,617
You've got yourself
one hell of a guy.
444
00:18:06,769 --> 00:18:09,295
Don't let him slip away.
445
00:18:12,408 --> 00:18:14,425
(explosion)
446
00:18:15,911 --> 00:18:18,170
(gasps) I always thought
a Chernobyl in Springfield
447
00:18:18,323 --> 00:18:20,172
would be caused
by my horrible boss,
448
00:18:20,325 --> 00:18:22,391
not my perfect boyfriend.
449
00:18:24,495 --> 00:18:27,730
♪ ♪
450
00:18:39,435 --> 00:18:41,344
Something's clogging the engine!
451
00:18:41,362 --> 00:18:43,696
My God, it's loungewear.
452
00:18:43,848 --> 00:18:46,165
Loungewear!
453
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:51,462
Michael, your factory
is literally a toxic workplace.
454
00:18:51,614 --> 00:18:52,872
Don't worry, sweetie.
455
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:55,282
I've got an amazing
crisis management company.
456
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,193
They're the ones
who squelched the story
457
00:18:57,286 --> 00:19:00,221
that Peloton seats
are made from dolphin faces.
458
00:19:02,049 --> 00:19:04,533
-(explosion)
-(yells)
-If I'm making clothes
459
00:19:04,627 --> 00:19:06,460
for Tommy Target
and Wendy Walmart,
460
00:19:06,554 --> 00:19:07,645
they have to be cheap.
461
00:19:07,796 --> 00:19:08,888
Because in fast fashion,
462
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:11,131
whoever cuts
the most corners wins.
463
00:19:11,225 --> 00:19:14,652
(cries) I can't believe
I fell in love with a monster.
464
00:19:14,803 --> 00:19:18,381
Really? It seems to me that you
have a pretty consistent type.
465
00:19:18,399 --> 00:19:19,306
Ah.
466
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,808
-(explosion)
-Exquisite.
467
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:22,976
Is that acid?
468
00:19:23,070 --> 00:19:24,829
No, molten sports bra.
469
00:19:24,980 --> 00:19:27,239
Waylon, you deserve
Milan, Paris,
470
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,834
at the very least,
a town with a Chipotle.
471
00:19:30,061 --> 00:19:31,894
I love that you care
about what's right,
472
00:19:32,063 --> 00:19:34,172
but, for once,
do what's right for you.
473
00:19:34,323 --> 00:19:37,066
Come away with me and be adored.
474
00:19:37,084 --> 00:19:40,219
(sighs)
Adored would be a nice change.
475
00:19:44,258 --> 00:19:46,759
To seeing the best in each other
476
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,835
and ignoring everything else.
477
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:51,096
I'll drink to that.
478
00:19:51,249 --> 00:19:52,748
-(yaps)
-Ooh! Idiot!
479
00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:56,510
These pants are made of cashmere
and shredded Picassos.
480
00:19:56,604 --> 00:19:58,196
(whimpers)
481
00:19:59,090 --> 00:20:00,698
(whimpers)
482
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,578
♪ ♪
483
00:20:07,448 --> 00:20:08,447
Buck up, pal.
484
00:20:08,599 --> 00:20:10,616
Beautiful jet-setting
gay billionaires
485
00:20:10,768 --> 00:20:12,543
are a dime a dozen in this town.
486
00:20:12,695 --> 00:20:15,028
(sighs) It's gonna take
some time to get over Michael.
487
00:20:15,122 --> 00:20:17,739
But I did get one thing out
of the relationship.
488
00:20:18,776 --> 00:20:20,793
Someone to be there
when I come home,
489
00:20:20,945 --> 00:20:23,462
who will love me
unconditionally.
490
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:24,705
(chuckles softly)
491
00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:29,060
You're the one hound
I'll never release.
492
00:20:37,628 --> 00:20:39,886
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
493
00:20:39,981 --> 00:20:42,131
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
494
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:44,659
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
495
00:20:49,398 --> 00:20:53,400
The last piece. You will reveal
your secrets to me.
496
00:20:53,494 --> 00:20:56,328
Good Lord! All this time,
it was a hot-air balloon!
497
00:20:56,481 --> 00:20:58,405
Yes, sir, just like the picture
on the box.
498
00:20:58,499 --> 00:21:01,166
There was a picture? Well, that
could have saved me months!
499
00:21:01,243 --> 00:21:03,168
Oh, well. Now I can get back
to crushing unions,
500
00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:05,337
fouling the air
and garbaging the Pacific.
501
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,098
(stammers)
Sir, before you do that,
502
00:21:07,249 --> 00:21:08,933
maybe you'd like to try
another puzzle?
503
00:21:09,084 --> 00:21:10,159
This one's a little harder.
504
00:21:10,252 --> 00:21:12,252
It's a hundred pieces, and, uh,
505
00:21:12,346 --> 00:21:14,013
two of the unicorns
look pretty similar.
506
00:21:14,165 --> 00:21:16,256
Clear my calendar!
Lock the door!
507
00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:17,775
Turn up the Wagner.
508
00:21:18,002 --> 00:21:20,927
("Ride of the Valkyries"
playing)
509
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:24,156
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
510
00:21:29,347 --> 00:21:31,122
Shh!
37820
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