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1
00:00:06,589 --> 00:00:08,299
- I want to fuck you so bad.
2
00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:12,095
- Me too.
You make me so hard.
3
00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:14,264
- 'Scuse me!
'Scuse me.
4
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:15,682
Can you stop?
5
00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:18,643
We're dropping our daughter
off at school.
6
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,313
I can see your erection.
- Mom!
7
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:25,567
- ♪ Sex sex sex sex
sex sex sex sex ♪
8
00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,694
♪ Sex sex sex sex
sex ♪
9
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:29,988
- Essex College?
10
00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:31,656
Did you have to pick a school
11
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,117
that was 3,000 miles away
from me?
12
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,077
- It's almost like I did
that on purpose.
13
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:38,788
- I mean, Vermont?
Why's it even a state?
14
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,374
Bunch of potheads
making maple syrup.
15
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,877
- I--I don't know, I'm just
happy that you made the time
16
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,336
to drop me off at school.
17
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,839
- Oh, okay, go on, honey.
18
00:00:47,922 --> 00:00:50,592
- It's just nice
to spend time with you.
19
00:00:50,675 --> 00:00:52,469
Goddamm it.
20
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:57,098
Look, Jackie, I am dropping my
daughter off at college today.
21
00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:59,309
That is the only thing
that matters.
22
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:04,147
Oh, CNN?
Okay, yes, put them through.
23
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,357
Sorry.
24
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:09,402
Jake Tapper.
How you doin', sweetheart?
25
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:12,405
What am I commenting on
today?
26
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:15,992
- Look, Beta,
I brought a surprise for you
27
00:01:16,075 --> 00:01:19,871
to remind you of home.
It's Mr. Busby!
28
00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:21,998
- Mom, are you serious?
- What?
29
00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:23,708
You love Mr. Busby.
30
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,127
- Mom, I'm not bringing my
teddy bear to college with me.
31
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,505
I'm 18 years old, I'm in
the middle of my reinvention.
32
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,507
- Not with the reinvention
again.
33
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,300
- Dad,
remember when Ben Affleck
34
00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:34,511
got that giant back tattoo
of a phoenix rising up
35
00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:35,845
from the ashes?
36
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,430
- Is he in
"Manchester by the Sea"?
37
00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:40,350
- Oh, very sad film.
- That's the other Affleck.
38
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,519
Look, that phoenix
made total sense to me.
39
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:43,603
Ben needed a change.
40
00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:45,396
He needed to transform his life
41
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,315
with a permanent physical
metamorphosis.
42
00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:48,858
And so did I.
43
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,569
Four months ago, I was an
Indian loser with cystic acne,
44
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:53,404
sweaty armpits, and glasses.
45
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:56,032
But with Lasik procedure,
an Accutane prescription,
46
00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:58,910
and medical-grade Botox
injected into my armpits,
47
00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:00,203
I'm normal.
48
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,372
- So should I throw
Mr. Busby away?
49
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:04,040
- No, Mom, don't be stupid.
50
00:02:04,123 --> 00:02:06,376
Just take him home and put him
on a shelf in my bedroom.
51
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:12,298
- Hey, there, kiddo.
- Hey, Dad.
52
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:15,009
- Before we go inside,
I just want to say...
53
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,511
Um, Dad.
54
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:17,804
Don't cry, please.
55
00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:19,222
- You're the first Finkle
to go to college.
56
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:20,932
- Dad, I need you not
to cry right now.
57
00:02:21,015 --> 00:02:22,517
- And I'm so proud of you.
You're such a special girl.
58
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:23,893
- Honey, honey--
- I haven't told you enough.
59
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,144
- Why don't you go inside
60
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:26,354
and just
get yourself together.
61
00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:28,731
Go sit in the car.
62
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,444
♪ ♪
63
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,908
Honey, you got to promise me
you're gonna be careful
64
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:42,662
because you're gonna meet
all kinds of, um, new people.
65
00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:44,747
- Are you saying that because
they're Middle Eastern?
66
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:45,999
That's so offensive.
67
00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:47,500
I came here
because it's diverse.
68
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,085
We're from the whitest town
in the world.
69
00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:51,588
Dad won't even eat tacos.
- Someone say tacos?
70
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,591
I can't handle that today,
my stomach is already a mess.
71
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,926
- No, honey, no ethnic food.
I promise.
72
00:02:57,010 --> 00:03:00,680
No, I meant rich people.
They can be a bad influence.
73
00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,432
Do you remember
that Caleb Vicars boy?
74
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:04,475
He was two grades above you,
he got into Penn,
75
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,936
met some rich friends,
he got addicted to cocaine,
76
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,022
and got arrested...
77
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:11,524
For selling his body.
78
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:13,318
- Mom!
- I don't want that future
79
00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:15,445
for you.
- Yeah, Mom, I don't want to
80
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,655
become a prostitute either.
81
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,369
Something about
New England, isn't there?
82
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,747
Maybe it's the trees,
or the rivers, the air--
83
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:27,165
I just feel so alive here.
84
00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:28,917
- Dad, you're obsessed
with New England.
85
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,044
I mean, it's like you want
to have sex with New England.
86
00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:33,129
- Ha. That's not possible.
87
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,965
- God, Esme and Francesca
haven't texted me back yet.
88
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:39,135
They probably have a ton
of new inside jokes by now.
89
00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:41,346
- You know, honey,
are you sure it's the best idea
90
00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:44,182
to be roommates in college with
your friends from high school?
91
00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:45,683
Shouldn't you branch out?
92
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:48,061
- Dad, Esme and Francesca
are my soulmates.
93
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:50,813
Okay, they are literally the
best people I have ever known.
94
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,440
- Okay, but what about
that time
95
00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:54,943
that Francesca totally
abandoned you in Cape Cod?
96
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,653
- She was having a really
tough time, okay?
97
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,488
Her dad just got audited.
98
00:03:58,571 --> 00:03:59,906
- Honey, I think
what I'm trying to say is
99
00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:01,324
I don't think
Esme and Francesca
100
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,743
are the best influences on you,
you know?
101
00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:05,328
They're kinda...assholes?
102
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:08,831
- Dad, can you please not call
my friends assholes?
103
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,583
All right? And it doesn't even
make a difference, okay?
104
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,794
We're already living together.
105
00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:14,420
- Well,
if that's what makes you happy.
106
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:17,173
I mean, I guess
what's really important is that
107
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,841
my baby girl
is going to my alma mater!
108
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,011
I'm telling you,
after the next four years,
109
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:25,264
you're probably gonna want to
have sex with New England too.
110
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,016
♪ ♪
111
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,477
- Dale, I hope you're using
your legs to push that.
112
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,437
- I can't tell what I'm using,
Carol.
113
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,439
- ♪ For you ♪
114
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,066
♪ Can't wait
to push your button ♪
115
00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:41,572
♪ ♪
116
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:44,367
- Earth to Kimberly.
117
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:46,286
Your father's sciatica's gonna
act up at any minute now, here.
118
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,704
Help him out.
- I got it, Carol.
119
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,539
- You know what?
I'll do it, I'll do it.
120
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,290
- Mom, could you change
your jeans
121
00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:52,959
before anyone gets here?
122
00:04:53,042 --> 00:04:55,670
- Hey!
- Hey, you must be Kimberly!
123
00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:58,256
Oh, my Gosh!
I'm so excited!
124
00:04:58,339 --> 00:04:59,549
We're your roommates.
125
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:02,385
I'm Bela, that's Whitney,
that's Leighton.
126
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,303
Just kidding,
they're my Indian parents.
127
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,264
- Oh!
- It's nice to meet you.
128
00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:09,017
- Oh it's nice to meet you too.
These are my parents.
129
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,226
Carol and Dale.
130
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,186
- Hello.
- Great to meet you.
131
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:14,897
- We're Irish.
132
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,483
- Yeah, there's an
Indian restaurant in our town.
133
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,569
Never been.
134
00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:22,363
- I love your Seth Meyers
poster.
135
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:25,616
You can really see his face.
- Thanks.
136
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,326
Yeah,
he's sort of my dream guy.
137
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,954
Double-threat
writer and performer on "SNL,"
138
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:31,330
just like I want to be.
139
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:33,750
It's like,
I want to have sex with him.
140
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:36,169
But I also want to be him.
141
00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:38,588
Hey,
did you Google the other girls?
142
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,089
I obviously did.
143
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,924
Can you believe we're
living with Whitney Chase?
144
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,926
- I know, it is so cool
that we're living
145
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,261
with a senator's daughter.
146
00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:46,929
I bought
a copy of the Constitution
147
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,473
for her mom to sign.
148
00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:49,849
- Wouldn't it be nuts if, like,
two years from now,
149
00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:51,225
we were all still
rooming together,
150
00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:52,769
but she was like
president or something?
151
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,021
- Oh, she's popular, sure,
I just don't think
152
00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:57,023
she's respected enough
to be president.
153
00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:58,566
- Interesting. Ha ha.
154
00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:01,277
I'd like to give
a quick rebuttal to that.
155
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:04,155
Senator Evette Chase from
the great state of Washington.
156
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:06,365
It is so lovely to meet
all of you.
157
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:09,494
- Hey, I'm Whitney.
- Oh, of course.
158
00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:12,455
There you are, my daughter.
159
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:15,375
- Oh, it's very exciting
to meet you, Your Honor.
160
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,918
- You don't have to bow.
161
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,753
- Can I take a photo with you
to put on the wall
162
00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:21,297
of one of my restaurants?
- Maybe later.
163
00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:22,799
Earl, can you close the door?
164
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:25,802
I have a few things
I want to say in private.
165
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:31,974
- North Con Hall--
buncha great memories here.
166
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,726
One time,
I drank so many White Russians,
167
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,812
I threw up out
of that window right there.
168
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:39,148
- Ew, Dad.
- You're gonna love it here.
169
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,109
- Yeah.
170
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,444
I already do.
171
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:46,656
- It goes without saying,
I am a very public figure.
172
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,783
- Oh, we get it,
we know all about your divorce.
173
00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:51,202
Your ex sounded
like a real deadbeat.
174
00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:53,496
- Thank you, he was.
- That's my dad.
175
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,206
- Here's what I don't need.
176
00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:57,250
I don't need to get woken up
in the middle of the night
177
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,877
by some frantic phone call
telling me Whitney
178
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,171
is getting high on opioids
with the roommates
179
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,590
and streaking across the quad
with their junk hanging out.
180
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,384
- Mom!
- Our Kimmy has never
181
00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:08,177
touched drugs or alcohol.
182
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,346
She doesn't go out much.
183
00:07:10,429 --> 00:07:12,014
- I believe it.
184
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,016
- And you don't have to worry
about me, Senator Chase.
185
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,519
I'm a committed student
eager to study the sciences.
186
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:21,190
- Okay, that felt forced.
Look, I care about you girls.
187
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:24,360
Just don't embarrass me,
because then you're dead to me.
188
00:07:24,443 --> 00:07:26,988
Oh, and if you could not tweet
for the next four years,
189
00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:28,364
that'd be great.
190
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:33,911
- Oh, my gosh,
you must be Leighton!
191
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:35,872
We're so happy to meet you.
192
00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:37,915
- I'm sorry,
who the fuck are you?
193
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,500
- Leighton!
- What?
194
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:43,254
- Where are Francesca and Esme?
- Who are they?
195
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:45,798
- Uh, my best friends
and my roommates?
196
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,426
- Dude,
I think we're your roommates.
197
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:54,724
- No.
- No, no, no, no.
198
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:59,270
- Very nice to meet you all.
199
00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:01,063
Have a great time in college.
200
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:08,404
♪ ♪
201
00:08:08,487 --> 00:08:09,780
- Hey, Leight!
- Hi!
202
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:12,700
- What the fuck is going on?
203
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:15,036
- This is our roommate,
Siddhartha.
204
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:17,997
- We just showed up,
205
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,624
and they assigned us
with that random girl.
206
00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:21,042
- Trust me, we were
just as upset as you are.
207
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:22,627
- Okay,
but how did this happen?
208
00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:24,045
- I mean, we filled out
the rooming questionnaire
209
00:08:24,128 --> 00:08:26,297
the exact same way.
- I know!
210
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:29,091
- Is it possible that maybe
you messed up your answers?
211
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:32,094
I mean, writing wasn't
your strong suit at Spence.
212
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,597
- Excuse me!
She's a great writer, okay?
213
00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:38,100
She wrote her Nana's eulogy--
not a dry eye in the house.
214
00:08:38,183 --> 00:08:39,309
Dad!
215
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:42,145
- See? Assholes.
Not you.
216
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,148
- Look, I don't know
how this got so fucked up,
217
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,609
but I am gonna fix this
somehow, all right?
218
00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,277
- Please!
219
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:54,909
- Love you, baby.
- Be good, Beta.
220
00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:57,203
- Don't follow me on social.
221
00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:59,622
- I love you.
- I love you too.
222
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:03,042
- All right, girls,
take care of each other.
223
00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:05,419
And remember,
no single-use plastics.
224
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,630
- Hey, are you good?
225
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:10,216
Your dad was shaking pretty
hard when he said goodbye.
226
00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:11,634
- Oh, he's fine.
227
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,386
I'm sure he's finished crying
by now anyway.
228
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:16,514
Love you, peanut!
229
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:21,477
♪ ♪
230
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:24,355
- Welcome.
Take a comfy seat.
231
00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:26,691
- Does this mean
you are our roommate?
232
00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:27,775
- Oh, no, no.
233
00:09:27,858 --> 00:09:29,026
But there's been
a clerical error
234
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,361
that I need to address
tomorrow,
235
00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:31,946
so I'll need to stay
for one night.
236
00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:33,197
- Well,
we already picked rooms,
237
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:34,991
so you're with Bela.
238
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,159
- Even though it's one night,
we should probably sidebar
239
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,412
about a system in case either
of us brings a dude home.
240
00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:42,498
- Okay, everyone,
my name is Frude Rasmunssen,
241
00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:46,168
and I will be your
Freshman Advisor and Friend,
242
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,505
aka, your FAF.
Welcome to Essex!
243
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:55,511
We'll start
with some icebreakers.
244
00:09:55,594 --> 00:09:58,889
Let's go around and share
a time when we felt scared.
245
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,516
I'll start.
246
00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:03,436
Avalanche
during a family reunion.
247
00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:06,522
I lost several relatives
and was, myself, entombed
248
00:10:06,605 --> 00:10:08,607
for many days.
249
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,151
Next?
250
00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:11,861
- I'm scared of my stalker.
251
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:13,863
I'm kind of a big deal
on TikTok.
252
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,865
Malia Obama follows me.
253
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:18,826
- Holy shit,
she has 200,000 followers.
254
00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:20,620
- Oh, my God,
you do song parodies?
255
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,204
- Ooh!
- Whoa!
256
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,790
- ♪ Don't go chasing
extra smalls ♪
257
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:27,918
That was for a body positivity
campaign for Kind Bars,
258
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:30,171
which are delicious.
- So cool!
259
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:31,839
- Who else?
260
00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:35,051
- Um, I am a little nervous
about my work-study interview
261
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,886
tomorrow.
- Wait, you have a job?
262
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,637
- Well, I applied for one.
263
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,348
- Yes, great, Kimberly.
264
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:44,352
And don't worry, many students
at Essex have student jobs.
265
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,687
Who else has one?
266
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,773
Anyone?
267
00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:51,776
I guess perhaps it is
just you here.
268
00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:53,194
- Cool.
269
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:55,071
- Look, Frude,
I'm sure you're good at this,
270
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,948
but sharing our fears isn't--
- I'm scared because I'm gay.
271
00:10:58,032 --> 00:10:59,617
I was in the closet
all through high school,
272
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,118
and I don't want to do
that again,
273
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,620
so I promised myself
I would tell everyone
274
00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:06,207
the minute I got here.
Guys, I'm gay.
275
00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:08,334
- Oh.
- Okay.
276
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:12,713
- Oh, I'm gay too.
I've been out since I was 12.
277
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:16,092
It wasn't easy in Oklahoma,
but I had to be me.
278
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:19,136
- Aw!
- He's so handsome.
279
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:21,931
- This is great.
280
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:24,975
We are learning so much
about our new gay friends!
281
00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:29,897
- So, why did you all
pick Essex?
282
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,440
- Oh,
I'm here for the "Catullan."
283
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,651
The college comedy magazine.
284
00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,444
It's a big deal
in the comedy world.
285
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,155
A ton of writers on "SNL" got
their start on the "Catullan."
286
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,782
- Cool! I came
'cause it's prestigious.
287
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:42,701
I'm gonna graduate summa,
and then I'm gonna go
288
00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:44,078
to a tier one law school,
289
00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:46,122
and then Max and I are gonna
move to DC
290
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,456
where we're gonna become
a power couple
291
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,041
like Kamala and Doug.
292
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,334
Are any of you
in relationships?
293
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,795
Oh, no, thank you.
294
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:55,047
I didn't come to college
to be tethered to some dude
295
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,590
I dated in high school.
296
00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:58,175
Also, I never really dated
anyone in high school,
297
00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:00,678
but I'm here,
I'm super sex-positive--
298
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:02,263
in theory more than
in experience.
299
00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:04,014
And I am ready
to smash some Ds.
300
00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:07,560
- Max and I are waiting.
Not for any weird reason.
301
00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:10,312
He's just not ready.
- He's not ready?
302
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,273
- Oh, God.
- What? What's wrong with that?
303
00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:14,650
- Oh, boys are born ready,
so something's up.
304
00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:16,819
- Yeah, is he, like, waiting
but also, like,
305
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:19,029
really up to date
on "Drag Race"?
306
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:20,489
- Oh, no,
it's nothing like that.
307
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,949
It's gonna be worth the wait.
308
00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:23,951
People tell him
he looks like Shawn Mendes.
309
00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:25,327
- Ooh!
310
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,579
- Hey, have you all seen
that video
311
00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:28,330
of Shawn Mendes
taking a shower?
312
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,166
- It is very good.
313
00:12:33,377 --> 00:12:36,505
♪ ♪
314
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,175
- Step, step, step!
- Get it, get it!
315
00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:44,180
- ♪ The love in my
got got got got got ♪
316
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:46,891
♪ The love in my got got
got got got ♪
317
00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:48,517
♪ The love in my ♪
318
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:52,104
♪ ♪
319
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:54,023
- She's good.
320
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:55,649
All right, ladies, hustle!
321
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,318
Now's when you should be
impressing me!
322
00:12:57,401 --> 00:13:04,492
♪ ♪
323
00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:11,749
- I see you smiling,
feeling all proud of yourself.
324
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,918
- Me? No, I wasn't.
325
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:15,669
- You should smile.
You're fast, rookie.
326
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,588
Just don't get too cocky.
327
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,299
- Oh, I really like
your sticker.
328
00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:21,967
- Oh, thanks.
329
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,886
I don't know what it means,
but I saw it at a gas station
330
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:26,347
and was like, "That
would be cool in my locker."
331
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:29,391
- Oh, well, I think it's meant
for people who identify as--
332
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,602
- I'm just playing.
I'm super gay.
333
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:36,106
Like, I'm the LeBron James
of being attracted to women.
334
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:38,317
I'm Willow.
- Whitney.
335
00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:41,904
- If I had a silver spoon like
that, I'd run really fast too.
336
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:43,447
She thinks she's hot shit.
337
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,699
The only reason she gets
playing time as a freshman
338
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:47,326
is because of who her mom is.
- Oh, my God, Jena,
339
00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:48,994
you're so bad.
- I know that I'm a better
340
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:50,538
forward than she is...
341
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:53,249
- You good?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm good.
342
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,084
- Cool.
343
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,087
- Coach?
- Yeah.
344
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,090
- Hey, can I talk to you
about something?
345
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,175
- Course. What's up?
346
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,761
- It's kind of serious.
347
00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:07,263
I just--
I'm finding it really difficult
348
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:08,722
to concentrate during practice
349
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:11,600
because I want to
fuck you so bad.
350
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,770
- Whit, what the hell?
- I'm so sorry, I had to.
351
00:14:14,853 --> 00:14:16,063
- There are people still here.
352
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:17,856
- Everyone's gone except
like one janitor.
353
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,358
- Hold on,
is it Joe or Alejandro?
354
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:20,943
'Cause Alejandro
notices everything.
355
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:25,614
- Chill, no one saw.
And no one will see this.
356
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:31,370
We still on for tonight?
- Yeah.
357
00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:33,831
Now get out of here.
- Okay.
358
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,458
- Oh, my God, really?
- Yep.
359
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,751
- I got the job?
- Yep.
360
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,128
- Oh, cool!
361
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:41,255
- So, all employees
of Essex Sips need
362
00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:42,840
to submit
their timesheets online
363
00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:45,050
through the, uh, financial aid
work-study portal.
364
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,761
- Okay.
- Portal, guh.
365
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,305
What are we on, "Star Trek"?
366
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,473
It's funny, right?
367
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:54,018
You like funny things?
- Um, yeah.
368
00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:56,145
I know, we both can
say what we think is funny
369
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:57,730
on the count of three.
- Oh, uh, no--
370
00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:00,316
- Yeah! We'll do it together.
One, two, three.
371
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,900
- Uh, memes.
- Avenue Q.
372
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,819
Oh, memes, that's good too.
- Yeah.
373
00:15:03,902 --> 00:15:05,946
- Wow,
I think we're gonna get along.
374
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,741
You have a good personality.
- Oh, thank you.
375
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,409
- Can I tell you something,
between us?
376
00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:12,369
I have some issues
with the other work-study kids
377
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:13,746
that I manage.
378
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:15,372
They just have got
a lot of attitude.
379
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,750
- Oh, well, I really need
this job to pay for school,
380
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:20,210
so the only kind of attitude
I have is "can do."
381
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:23,297
That's great,
very clever.
382
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:24,965
Okay, everybody, huddle up.
383
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:28,344
Before we open, I'd like
you to meet our new trainee.
384
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,846
This is Kimberly,
and she loves memes.
385
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,476
- In addition to other hobbies
and interests, you know?
386
00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:38,562
Which I can't think of
right now, but I have them.
387
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,147
- Canaan.
- Lila.
388
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:42,733
- Cool. I'm really excited
to be working
389
00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:44,068
at Sips with you guys.
390
00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:46,403
I--I'm sure we'll have
a "latte" fun.
391
00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:51,450
I just want to say, you are
a wonderful little lady.
392
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:53,327
- Okay.
- Oh, is that the menu?
393
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:54,703
- It is.
394
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,288
- You know what could be
so cute is if we did
395
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:57,915
little chalk drawings
that changed every day.
396
00:15:57,998 --> 00:16:00,334
Like, today,
we could do leaves.
397
00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:01,919
Because it's September.
398
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:04,213
I love it, yes.
399
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,048
Lila,
you're always doodling.
400
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,549
I want you to come in
a few minutes early
401
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,884
and decorate the board.
402
00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:10,552
- Why me?
She suggested it.
403
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,096
- Well, you're artsy, you know,
so just have fun with it
404
00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:13,889
and draw some goddamn leaves.
405
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:20,354
- So what did you say
your last name was again?
406
00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:24,733
- Murray, as in Murray library.
The library next door.
407
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:27,695
- I slipped and fell there
last winter.
408
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:30,489
Broke my tailbone.
- I'm very sorry to hear that.
409
00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:32,241
But can we please focus
on my problem?
410
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:34,910
It's extremely distressing
to be separated
411
00:16:34,993 --> 00:16:36,412
from one's best friends.
412
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:38,664
- Okay,
looks like you submitted
413
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:40,207
a personal habits survey
414
00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:43,419
with Esme Schaffer
and Francesca Bromley
415
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:46,422
and got a 99% match-up
with both of them.
416
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:49,425
- Exactly, but then there was
some glitch in the system,
417
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,927
or something, and they got
assigned with some random girl
418
00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:54,263
with weird clothes,
bless her heart.
419
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,974
- Well, in addition
to the survey, they also wrote
420
00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:59,768
specific directions in
who they wanted in a roommate.
421
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:03,897
Specific how, let me see.
422
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,983
- "Do not room us
with Leighton Murray"?
423
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:09,569
Why? Why the hell would
they write that?
424
00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:13,699
- I know.
You seem like such a joy.
425
00:17:13,781 --> 00:17:16,868
- Welcome to the "Catullan"
Perspective Writer's meeting.
426
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:19,454
We're the co-editors.
I'm Ryan, this is Eric.
427
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,080
We want to start
by saying thank you.
428
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:22,958
It's really great to see such
a big turnout.
429
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,627
That being said,
know this going in.
430
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,130
"The Catullan" is the most
selective extra-curricular
431
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,132
on campus.
- What about a cappella?
432
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:31,717
- Hey, fuck a cappella!
433
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,761
- Look, sure, what Eric's
saying is technically correct.
434
00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:35,345
But I think we're getting
ahead of things here.
435
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:37,556
Writing
for a comedy magazine is fun,
436
00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:39,808
and we look forward to reading
your writing samples.
437
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:43,479
- 3 pieces, 600 words,
no puns, I'm serious.
438
00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:45,647
- But rather than me telling
you why you should submit,
439
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:50,235
let's see what some of
our recent alums have to say.
440
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,238
- I'm Oliver Roni, I wrote
for "The Catullan" last year,
441
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,032
and now
I'm a writer's assistant
442
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:59,077
on a new animated show about
a suburban white family.
443
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,704
- Holy shit!
444
00:18:02,706 --> 00:18:04,333
- $20.
- $20 if I make this?
445
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:05,959
- Straight to you, cash now.
446
00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:07,544
- Okay, ready?
- Go ahead.
447
00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,171
- Did you see that?
- Oh, okay.
448
00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:11,173
I'll give it to you,
I'll give it to you.
449
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,595
- Hey, Canaan.
- Hey.
450
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:20,766
- Do you like Jay-Z?
- Yeah, I--I guess.
451
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:23,894
- Yeah, I mean,
I think his music is so dope.
452
00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:25,771
And some would say
he's more than a musician.
453
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:28,899
He's like a prophet too.
- Okay.
454
00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:30,359
- Look, I just have to say,
455
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,985
I come from a small town
in Arizona,
456
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:34,321
and it's really exciting
for me to have a Black friend.
457
00:18:34,404 --> 00:18:37,366
- Oh.
- Or, is it African American?
458
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:39,701
I don't know, 'cause there are
two schools of thought on that.
459
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,995
What--what do you think?
- Black is--is fine.
460
00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:43,038
- Okay.
- Yes.
461
00:18:43,121 --> 00:18:45,541
- So, Black. Cool.
462
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,585
And what--what's it like
being Black at Essex?
463
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:52,172
- Um, you know...
464
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:53,924
it's hard.
Yeah.
465
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:56,385
You know, not a lot
of people here get me.
466
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:57,636
And how could they?
467
00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,429
I mean, we've led such
different lives.
468
00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:02,558
You know, I've never touched
cashmere before.
469
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:06,687
I don't really tell
a lot of people this, but...
470
00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:08,188
my mom is addicted to crack.
471
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:09,857
You know, that's my story.
472
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:13,235
And now I have to work
three on-campus jobs
473
00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:17,322
just so I can send money
back to her and my baby sister.
474
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:21,034
And I just have to hope
she doesn't spend it on crack.
475
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:23,996
- Oh, my God,
that is just so much
476
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:27,249
for you to be dealing with.
- Yeah, yeah, but...
477
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,001
you know what?
478
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:32,421
It is nothing compared
to what Lila has been through.
479
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:39,177
I mean, that poor girl
has it so much worse than me.
480
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:41,763
- What's Lila's story?
481
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,266
Goddamn it.
482
00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:46,768
- What the actual fuck, okay?
483
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,770
Do you guys have any idea
how humiliating it is
484
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:51,356
to be friend-dumped
in front of a clerical worker?
485
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,192
- Believe me, Leight, we didn't
want it to be this way.
486
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:55,110
- Well, we did want it
to be this way,
487
00:19:55,193 --> 00:19:57,237
but it hurts to see you
so upset.
488
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,615
- I don't understand.
I thought we were friends.
489
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:03,619
Uh,
what's with this fucking pause?
490
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:04,995
Were we not friends?
491
00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:06,997
- I mean, we hung out,
obviously,
492
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:10,459
but the truth is, we never
really felt like we knew you.
493
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,836
- Yeah, you were always
so secretive or something.
494
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,880
It was like being friends
with a stranger.
495
00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:16,214
- What are you guys
talking about?
496
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,091
I literally
tell you everything.
497
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:19,426
- I don't think that's true.
498
00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:22,554
- It's like there's this wall
with you.
499
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:24,514
- No, there's...
500
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:29,645
God, okay, whatever!
Whatever, I don't care.
501
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:31,647
I'm--I'm sorry that I'm not
like an over-sharer
502
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:34,316
like every other girl
in our fucking generation.
503
00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:36,485
- I just think
that you could open up more.
504
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:40,489
- Okay, okay,
is this open enough for you?
505
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:42,824
Fuck you both,
you really hurt my feelings,
506
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:45,160
and I hope an air conditioner
falls on you.
507
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:51,625
♪ ♪
508
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:56,254
- Hey,
you haven't been out in a bit,
509
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,507
so I brought you some food
from work.
510
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,842
- What is it?
- A burrito.
511
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:06,056
- Ugh, no, I don't want beef.
Just throw it in the trash.
512
00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:09,601
- Look, I know you wanted
513
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,269
to room with your friends
from home.
514
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:15,065
- They're not my friends,
they're mouth breathing cunts.
515
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:16,733
- Right, okay.
516
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,069
Well, I think
if you give us a chance,
517
00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:20,570
you'll really like living
with us.
518
00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:22,489
We're playing Uno
in the other room right now--
519
00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:25,492
- Okay, Kimberly, Kimberly,
I'm from New York City, okay?
520
00:21:25,575 --> 00:21:28,036
And I know from your world,
that probably sounds
521
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,496
like a really fun evening.
522
00:21:29,579 --> 00:21:32,708
But, for me, that's worse
than getting a Pap smear.
523
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:35,335
So can you shut the door
when you leave?
524
00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:44,469
You guys can borrow
any of my clothes you like--
525
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,847
bras, underwear,
nothing's off limits.
526
00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:48,432
I'd like to borrow yours too,
if that's cool.
527
00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:50,934
- Uh, I'll think about it.
- Yeah.
528
00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:54,062
- Sure. No pressure--I'll
follow up about it tomorrow.
529
00:21:54,896 --> 00:21:56,565
- Hey,
is this Leighton Murray's room?
530
00:21:59,901 --> 00:22:02,237
♪ ♪
531
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,741
- Hello?
- Yes, uh, she lives here.
532
00:22:05,824 --> 00:22:09,077
Damn, she's a lucky lady.
You guys make a sexy couple.
533
00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:10,912
- Ha ha.
She's my sister, actually.
534
00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:13,749
- Yikes.
- Your Leighton's brother?
535
00:22:13,832 --> 00:22:15,625
Then you're practically family!
536
00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:18,003
Come to Mama.
- Oh.
537
00:22:18,086 --> 00:22:21,298
- Wow.
It's like hugging a statue.
538
00:22:21,381 --> 00:22:23,967
Hi, uh, I'm Whitney.
539
00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:26,094
Sorry about her.
- Oh, Whitney Chase.
540
00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:27,596
Your mom's a senator, right?
541
00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:29,765
That's really dope.
542
00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:33,602
- I'm Kimberly.
My parents aren't famous.
543
00:22:33,685 --> 00:22:35,645
My dad's a manager
at Walgreen's.
544
00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:39,024
- Cool.
Nice to meet you, Kimberly.
545
00:22:41,651 --> 00:22:43,445
- Nico,
what are you doing here?
546
00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:47,908
- Ha. Whoa, Leighton,
you look like shit.
547
00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:51,828
Leight, this isn't that bad.
548
00:22:51,912 --> 00:22:53,538
I mean, for what it's worth,
549
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,290
I thought all your friends
in high school really sucked.
550
00:22:55,373 --> 00:22:57,584
- Thanks, you always know
how to cheer me up.
551
00:22:57,667 --> 00:22:59,628
- Look, this could be
a blessing in disguise.
552
00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:01,088
I mean,
I don't talk to anyone
553
00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:02,297
from high school anymore.
554
00:23:02,380 --> 00:23:04,466
- Yeah,
'cause you don't need to.
555
00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:06,802
Okay, everyone wants
to be friends with you.
556
00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:09,846
I'm just some judgmental
dickhead with hormonal acne.
557
00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:13,517
- Hey, hey, stop.
I think your face looks fine.
558
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,477
- That is because
I use a great concealer.
559
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:21,233
- Look, Leight, you are
the strongest person I know.
560
00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:24,528
Okay, I'm your older brother,
and I'm even scared of you.
561
00:23:24,611 --> 00:23:28,365
But you--you're going to
crush Essex.
562
00:23:29,366 --> 00:23:32,410
- You really think so?
- I do.
563
00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:36,373
You're a good person
564
00:23:36,456 --> 00:23:39,626
underneath
all your bad qualities.
565
00:23:39,709 --> 00:23:41,962
- Hmm, thank you.
566
00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:47,300
- Hey, so,
Cory keeps asking about you.
567
00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:49,845
He's excited
you're finally on campus.
568
00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:53,849
- Oh, cool.
- So what should I tell him?
569
00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:55,392
- You should tell him
that I don't want
570
00:23:55,475 --> 00:23:57,686
to discuss my dating life
with my older brother.
571
00:23:57,769 --> 00:23:59,938
- Ah, okay, fair enough.
- Mm-hmm.
572
00:24:00,021 --> 00:24:02,232
- All right. I'm gonna go.
573
00:24:02,315 --> 00:24:04,484
But I think you can handle
being civil to those girls
574
00:24:04,568 --> 00:24:07,445
for the next eight months.
They seem perfectly nice to me.
575
00:24:07,529 --> 00:24:09,698
- That's 'cause they want
to have sex with you.
576
00:24:09,781 --> 00:24:12,492
- I know they do.
- Hey.
577
00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:14,244
You're disgusting.
578
00:24:16,788 --> 00:24:18,123
I just...
579
00:24:18,206 --> 00:24:21,168
I've been such a bitch to them,
you know? Like...
580
00:24:21,251 --> 00:24:23,587
- Well, do something nice then.
581
00:24:23,670 --> 00:24:25,922
Show them you're gonna be
a good roommate.
582
00:24:28,091 --> 00:24:30,677
I'll see you around.
583
00:24:39,186 --> 00:24:40,979
- Were you just changing
in the closet?
584
00:24:41,062 --> 00:24:42,606
- What? No.
585
00:24:42,689 --> 00:24:44,441
I mean, I went
from one outfit to another.
586
00:24:44,524 --> 00:24:46,651
So, I mean, I guess you could
call that changing.
587
00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:49,154
- Are you, like, religious,
or something?
588
00:24:49,237 --> 00:24:50,572
- No.
589
00:24:50,655 --> 00:24:51,990
I've just never lived
with anyone before,
590
00:24:52,073 --> 00:24:55,243
so I don't really know
what to do.
591
00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:58,163
- Hey, so I saw you checking
out Leighton's brother tonight.
592
00:24:58,246 --> 00:25:00,582
- Oh, definitely not.
No, I have Max.
593
00:25:00,665 --> 00:25:02,918
My boyfriend from home
who I'm, like, in love with.
594
00:25:03,001 --> 00:25:04,753
So if you're saying that
because you like Nico,
595
00:25:04,836 --> 00:25:06,922
you should definitely go
for it.
596
00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:08,340
- Nah, that's all right.
597
00:25:08,423 --> 00:25:10,717
I like men, not boys.
598
00:25:14,888 --> 00:25:19,935
♪ ♪
599
00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:23,271
- Hey, Lila.
- Hey.
600
00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:27,108
- I just want to say
I'm so inspired by you.
601
00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:29,110
This morning
when my alarm clock went off,
602
00:25:29,194 --> 00:25:30,528
I thought to myself, kill me!
603
00:25:30,612 --> 00:25:32,864
But then I was like,
shut up, Kimberly.
604
00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:35,283
If Lila can go through
what she's going through
605
00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:38,203
and come to work,
you can get out of bed.
606
00:25:38,286 --> 00:25:40,163
- What exactly
am I going through?
607
00:25:40,247 --> 00:25:43,625
- I mean, you know,
it can't be easy with a baby.
608
00:25:44,709 --> 00:25:47,379
And the baby's dad
being incarcerated.
609
00:25:47,462 --> 00:25:49,172
'Cause prison isn't
just for the prisoner.
610
00:25:49,256 --> 00:25:51,883
In a way, it's prison
for the whole family.
611
00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:55,095
- The fuck are you
talking about?
612
00:25:55,178 --> 00:25:57,013
I don't have a kid
or a baby daddy,
613
00:25:57,097 --> 00:25:58,723
and definitely not one
that's in jail.
614
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:03,395
Oh, but Canaan said--
615
00:26:03,478 --> 00:26:05,230
Yeah, well,
he was messing with you.
616
00:26:05,313 --> 00:26:06,815
And he knew
you'd believe it too
617
00:26:06,898 --> 00:26:09,651
because you're some hick
from Shit Town, Arizoni.
618
00:26:09,734 --> 00:26:12,153
- Wow, Canaan,
you're such an asshole.
619
00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:15,115
- Okay, to be fair,
it was pretty funny.
620
00:26:15,198 --> 00:26:16,658
- So it was all bullshit?
621
00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:18,952
I bet your mom's not even
addicted to crack.
622
00:26:19,035 --> 00:26:21,162
- No,
she's a paralegal in Maryland.
623
00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:23,832
Are you mad
that my mom's not a crackhead?
624
00:26:23,915 --> 00:26:26,334
- Yeah--
I mean, no, I--
625
00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:28,461
I mean, I'm just trying
to meet people
626
00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:29,671
at a school
where I don't know anyone.
627
00:26:29,754 --> 00:26:31,006
You don't have to be a jerk.
628
00:26:31,089 --> 00:26:33,717
- Okay, relax, relax.
629
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,010
He doesn't mean it.
630
00:26:35,093 --> 00:26:37,721
He's going through
a lot at home.
631
00:26:37,804 --> 00:26:40,515
His brother just ruined
a promising football career
632
00:26:40,598 --> 00:26:45,103
by joining a gang.
- Oh, well, I didn't know--
633
00:26:45,186 --> 00:26:46,521
- His name is Rashad,
634
00:26:46,604 --> 00:26:49,482
but now he makes us call him
Thug Blood.
635
00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:51,151
- Oh, my God, come on.
Shut up.
636
00:26:51,234 --> 00:26:53,903
What is wrong with you two?
637
00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:03,246
- Willow!
638
00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:05,040
- ♪ And I twist twist twist ♪
639
00:27:08,251 --> 00:27:09,669
- Right here, right here!
640
00:27:09,753 --> 00:27:11,963
♪ ♪
641
00:27:12,047 --> 00:27:13,340
What the fuck?
642
00:27:13,423 --> 00:27:15,050
- Let's go!
643
00:27:15,133 --> 00:27:16,968
- ♪ Rockin' to that beat
and breakin' on the knees ♪
644
00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:18,595
♪ Trippin' in the...♪
645
00:27:18,678 --> 00:27:20,263
- All right, this is yours,
Whitney, this is yours.
646
00:27:20,347 --> 00:27:21,681
- Ah!
- Oh.
647
00:27:21,765 --> 00:27:24,392
- Aah!
What the fuck is your problem?
648
00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:25,810
- Don't touch me,
you entitled bitch.
649
00:27:25,894 --> 00:27:27,187
- Hey, enough, enough,
enough, enough!
650
00:27:27,270 --> 00:27:28,813
All right, you're done
for the day, go.
651
00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:31,149
- Just me? Are you serious?
She shoved me first.
652
00:27:31,232 --> 00:27:32,984
Everyone saw it.
- Let's go.
653
00:27:33,068 --> 00:27:34,194
- All right,
back to practice everyone.
654
00:27:34,277 --> 00:27:35,779
Come on,
what are you looking at?
655
00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:40,867
- What was that?
- A Kit Kat?
656
00:27:40,950 --> 00:27:42,577
- Fuck your Kit Kat.
I'm talking about Jena.
657
00:27:42,660 --> 00:27:44,079
She already hates me.
658
00:27:44,162 --> 00:27:45,413
The last thing I need
is looking like
659
00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:46,915
I'm getting special treatment.
660
00:27:46,998 --> 00:27:49,084
Let me fight my own battles,
I can handle myself.
661
00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:51,586
- Yeah, if by handle yourself,
you mean get your ass kicked.
662
00:27:51,669 --> 00:27:53,755
Jena was throwing you around
the field like a ragdoll.
663
00:27:53,838 --> 00:27:56,341
What was I gonna do?
Let her rip your head off?
664
00:27:56,424 --> 00:27:57,801
- Look, this is my problem,
not yours.
665
00:27:57,884 --> 00:28:00,095
Really, you're only making
things worse.
666
00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:02,222
- Whitney.
667
00:28:06,184 --> 00:28:08,228
- Hey!
Hey!
668
00:28:09,312 --> 00:28:11,564
Eric, right?
I'm Bela Malhotra.
669
00:28:11,648 --> 00:28:13,108
I'm a freshman.
670
00:28:13,191 --> 00:28:16,361
I was at "The Catullan"
Orientation the other day.
671
00:28:16,444 --> 00:28:19,280
- Sorry, there's literally
hundreds of people there.
672
00:28:19,364 --> 00:28:21,199
I'm still reeling
from the emails.
673
00:28:21,282 --> 00:28:23,118
- So, I--I know you said
that we should drop off
674
00:28:23,201 --> 00:28:24,494
our submission packets,
675
00:28:24,577 --> 00:28:25,870
but I was wondering
if I could film mine
676
00:28:25,954 --> 00:28:27,038
so you could hear it
in my voice?
677
00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:28,248
- Uh--
678
00:28:28,331 --> 00:28:29,707
- Or I could read it
to you right now.
679
00:28:29,791 --> 00:28:31,876
- Oh, no,
I really wouldn't like that.
680
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,711
Look, it's great
that you're excited,
681
00:28:33,795 --> 00:28:36,297
but don't be too bummed if you
don't make the staff this year.
682
00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:38,258
- What?
Why would you say that?
683
00:28:38,341 --> 00:28:39,968
- It's just,
with all the freshman
684
00:28:40,051 --> 00:28:41,803
and all the upperclassmen
that are reapplying,
685
00:28:41,886 --> 00:28:44,055
uh, I don't know if there are
gonna be
686
00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:47,225
that many female spots.
- Female spot--?
687
00:28:47,308 --> 00:28:49,144
You haven't even read
all the submissions yet.
688
00:28:49,227 --> 00:28:50,979
- It's just a really
competitive year, you know.
689
00:28:51,062 --> 00:28:52,647
A bunch of siblings of
staff members are submitting,
690
00:28:52,730 --> 00:28:54,607
and we already have
two women on staff, so...
691
00:28:54,691 --> 00:28:57,485
- Of, like, 15 people.
- Look, I hate it too.
692
00:28:57,569 --> 00:28:58,695
I would give anything
693
00:28:58,778 --> 00:29:00,238
for Elizabeth Warren
to be president,
694
00:29:00,321 --> 00:29:02,240
but...keep your chin up.
695
00:29:02,323 --> 00:29:03,783
You know, if you love comedy,
696
00:29:03,867 --> 00:29:06,119
there's like five other
improv troupes on campus.
697
00:29:07,662 --> 00:29:10,832
Oh, and that one group,
the Pot Stickers, is all Asian.
698
00:29:10,915 --> 00:29:12,625
So...
699
00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:20,008
- So, these are for you all.
700
00:29:21,926 --> 00:29:23,887
Come on, open them.
701
00:29:23,970 --> 00:29:27,932
- Oh, my God, an iPad?
- An iPad?
702
00:29:28,016 --> 00:29:29,392
Holy Shit.
703
00:29:29,476 --> 00:29:31,603
- So it looks like
I will be staying,
704
00:29:31,686 --> 00:29:33,521
and this was my little way of
705
00:29:33,605 --> 00:29:35,857
apologizing
for being such a bitch.
706
00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:39,194
I should have never
called you tacky,
707
00:29:39,277 --> 00:29:41,696
Podunk, new-money jock.
708
00:29:41,779 --> 00:29:45,533
- You never said that.
- I didn't? Oh.
709
00:29:45,617 --> 00:29:47,243
Anyway, I really feel like
we could have
710
00:29:47,327 --> 00:29:49,287
a positive living experience
together.
711
00:29:49,370 --> 00:29:52,665
So what do you think?
712
00:29:52,749 --> 00:29:53,833
- Yeah.
- Okay.
713
00:29:53,917 --> 00:29:55,335
Okay.
714
00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:00,381
- Hi, I um...
715
00:30:00,465 --> 00:30:01,883
- Oh, sorry.
We don't want to sign
716
00:30:01,966 --> 00:30:03,051
your environment petition,
or whatever.
717
00:30:03,134 --> 00:30:05,720
- Oh, um--
- Max!
718
00:30:05,803 --> 00:30:07,263
- Hey!
719
00:30:07,347 --> 00:30:10,391
- Oh, my God, this is Max,
my boyfriend.
720
00:30:10,475 --> 00:30:12,435
- The one that looks
like Shawn Mendes?
721
00:30:12,519 --> 00:30:15,021
- Shawn Mendes, people tell me
I look like that all the time.
722
00:30:15,104 --> 00:30:16,648
- What--
what are you doing here?
723
00:30:16,731 --> 00:30:18,066
- Well,
I wanted to surprise you,
724
00:30:18,149 --> 00:30:19,734
so I took the train up
from Princeton,
725
00:30:19,817 --> 00:30:21,486
and thought I could stay
with you through the weekend?
726
00:30:21,569 --> 00:30:25,323
- Of course, yes!
I'm so happy to see you.
727
00:30:25,406 --> 00:30:26,866
- You got some like, food?
728
00:30:26,950 --> 00:30:30,161
I'm starving, and I left
my credit card at Princeton.
729
00:30:33,706 --> 00:30:35,708
- Hey, does anyone
have plans tonight?
730
00:30:35,792 --> 00:30:36,918
- I might.
731
00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:39,295
- Do any of you know what
732
00:30:39,379 --> 00:30:42,382
a Drop It Like F. Scott party
is?
733
00:30:42,465 --> 00:30:45,093
- F. Scott Fitzgerald.
- Huh?
734
00:30:45,176 --> 00:30:46,970
- You basically have to look
like a '20s slut.
735
00:30:47,053 --> 00:30:49,264
- Oh, sweet.
"The Catullan" is throwing one
736
00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:50,515
for all the people submitting,
737
00:30:50,598 --> 00:30:51,891
but I don't know
if I should go.
738
00:30:51,975 --> 00:30:53,518
I ran into the editor
this morning,
739
00:30:53,601 --> 00:30:55,270
and he basically told me
there's no reason to submit
740
00:30:55,353 --> 00:30:57,855
because there won't be
any female spots this year.
741
00:30:57,939 --> 00:31:00,275
- Oh, they have
a quota for gender?
742
00:31:00,358 --> 00:31:01,484
That's insane.
743
00:31:01,568 --> 00:31:03,111
And you should definitely
report him
744
00:31:03,194 --> 00:31:06,030
to University Affairs.
Or, quite frankly, the ACLU.
745
00:31:06,114 --> 00:31:08,408
What?
746
00:31:08,491 --> 00:31:11,077
- I'm sorry, but that's the
dumbest shit I've ever heard.
747
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:12,620
Well, you want them
to pick you, right?
748
00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:13,830
- Yeah.
749
00:31:13,913 --> 00:31:15,665
- Okay, well,
make them like you.
750
00:31:15,748 --> 00:31:18,084
Okay, like, don't be
some histrionic feminist,
751
00:31:18,167 --> 00:31:21,546
just show them you're chill
and you're fun to have around.
752
00:31:21,629 --> 00:31:24,716
- I think Leighton's right.
753
00:31:26,342 --> 00:31:27,885
- Girls!
754
00:31:27,969 --> 00:31:29,887
Desserts are out.
755
00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:38,980
- ♪ I can see through you
I see ♪
756
00:31:39,063 --> 00:31:44,152
♪ You can see through,
I see you ♪
757
00:31:44,235 --> 00:31:48,948
♪ Seeing through you,
I see see ♪
758
00:31:52,243 --> 00:31:56,080
- ♪ I wanna feel like
this all the time ♪
759
00:31:56,164 --> 00:31:59,876
♪ Beat you with
a little better line ♪
760
00:31:59,959 --> 00:32:02,378
♪ Yeah, oh got you
messin' with me...♪
761
00:32:02,462 --> 00:32:03,796
- Ryan!
762
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,591
Hey, Ryan, I just want to say,
I love your work.
763
00:32:06,674 --> 00:32:09,594
- You love my work?
Let me guess.
764
00:32:09,677 --> 00:32:11,179
Freshman.
- Yeah.
765
00:32:11,262 --> 00:32:13,806
- All right, take it easy.
766
00:32:13,890 --> 00:32:16,351
- Uh, uh, uh, uh?
R--Ryan?
767
00:32:16,434 --> 00:32:19,228
I--I just want to say...
768
00:32:19,312 --> 00:32:22,982
as a woman of color,
and, uh, as a woman in comedy--
769
00:32:23,066 --> 00:32:24,525
- Hey,
let me stop you right there.
770
00:32:24,609 --> 00:32:26,736
I'm super high right now,
so whatever this is,
771
00:32:26,819 --> 00:32:28,363
it's being wasted on me.
772
00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:30,448
- Hey, I--I just want
to be part of "The Catullan."
773
00:32:30,531 --> 00:32:32,825
- That's awesome.
But it's not up to me.
774
00:32:32,909 --> 00:32:34,410
We all vote.
775
00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:36,871
So if I were you, I'd try
to get those guys on your side.
776
00:32:39,999 --> 00:32:46,714
♪ ♪
777
00:32:46,798 --> 00:32:50,385
- You did what?
- I gave six hand jobs!
778
00:32:50,468 --> 00:32:51,803
Not at the same time,
or anything,
779
00:32:51,886 --> 00:32:53,554
I'm not like a porn star.
780
00:32:53,638 --> 00:32:55,932
I talked to each of them,
told them I was a writer,
781
00:32:56,015 --> 00:32:58,726
that I loved their work,
and if they voted for me,
782
00:32:58,810 --> 00:33:00,687
I could be into doing
some hand stuff.
783
00:33:00,770 --> 00:33:01,813
I told them
I'm a girl who's chill,
784
00:33:01,896 --> 00:33:03,564
just like you told me to.
785
00:33:03,648 --> 00:33:06,734
- I--I definitely didn't tell
you to jerk a bunch of dicks.
786
00:33:06,818 --> 00:33:08,903
- Okay, first off,
why the shade?
787
00:33:08,986 --> 00:33:11,406
I got two things out of this.
This is a win-win for me.
788
00:33:11,489 --> 00:33:13,491
I helped my chances
of getting on "The Catullan,"
789
00:33:13,574 --> 00:33:15,243
and I got to give
a bunch of hand jobs.
790
00:33:15,326 --> 00:33:16,869
- No one likes giving
hand jobs!
791
00:33:16,953 --> 00:33:19,580
- Maybe I do.
Maybe I love it.
792
00:33:19,664 --> 00:33:21,749
I've had, like,
zero sexual experiences
793
00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:23,584
for most of my sad-ass life,
794
00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:26,003
so if suddenly I'm hot enough
to have a bunch of dicks
795
00:33:26,087 --> 00:33:28,381
thrown my way,
sorry, but, I'ma crank them.
796
00:33:28,464 --> 00:33:30,174
- Ugh.
- What's going on?
797
00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:32,385
- Bela traded sex
for an opportunity.
798
00:33:32,468 --> 00:33:34,011
- Just like men have been doing
for centuries,
799
00:33:34,095 --> 00:33:35,930
I flipped the script.
- I'm not sure you did.
800
00:33:36,013 --> 00:33:39,642
- I'm sex positive, y'all!
Deal with it.
801
00:33:39,726 --> 00:33:43,646
- As a feminist, I think
female sex positivity is great.
802
00:33:48,234 --> 00:33:50,737
♪ ♪
803
00:33:50,820 --> 00:33:53,614
- You're so beautiful.
- Thank you.
804
00:33:53,698 --> 00:33:57,243
- I like your skin tone.
- Uh, my skin tone?
805
00:33:57,326 --> 00:33:58,953
- What? What did I say?
806
00:33:59,036 --> 00:34:00,788
- You sound like you have
a Black girl fetish.
807
00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:03,583
- No!
- You said no really fast.
808
00:34:03,666 --> 00:34:06,586
- I mean, I do tend to find
Black women more attractive
809
00:34:06,669 --> 00:34:09,505
than other kinds of women,
but that's okay, right?
810
00:34:09,589 --> 00:34:11,424
- Yeah, that's okay,
811
00:34:11,507 --> 00:34:13,967
until you're like, "Ooh,
I love your chocolatey skin."
812
00:34:14,051 --> 00:34:17,138
- I did not say chocolatey.
I know not to say that.
813
00:34:17,221 --> 00:34:21,726
I really like you.
- Okay, good.
814
00:34:21,809 --> 00:34:23,311
I like you too.
815
00:34:23,393 --> 00:34:24,896
- If anything,
I have a soccer fetish.
816
00:34:24,978 --> 00:34:27,356
Oh, shit.
817
00:34:30,067 --> 00:34:32,445
We should go.
818
00:34:32,527 --> 00:34:35,156
- Well,
Leighton is basically Melania,
819
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,159
but the rest of them
seem pretty nice.
820
00:34:38,242 --> 00:34:41,661
- Oh, I'm so glad to see you.
821
00:34:41,746 --> 00:34:44,956
The adjustment's been
way harder than I expected.
822
00:34:45,041 --> 00:34:46,833
I didn't know how rich
everyone would be.
823
00:34:46,918 --> 00:34:48,503
- Oh,
it's the same at Princeton.
824
00:34:48,585 --> 00:34:51,505
My roommate's family brought
help on moving day.
825
00:34:51,589 --> 00:34:54,382
- Oh, my--
826
00:34:54,467 --> 00:34:57,595
- But I guess
you and I can be poor together.
827
00:35:00,890 --> 00:35:03,976
- I love you.
- I love you too.
828
00:35:13,903 --> 00:35:19,575
♪ ♪
829
00:35:19,659 --> 00:35:21,369
- Everybody's asleep.
830
00:35:21,452 --> 00:35:23,412
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
831
00:35:26,666 --> 00:35:28,876
- ♪ Two hearts
and three lost words ♪
832
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,796
♪ Fall through the universe ♪
833
00:35:31,879 --> 00:35:34,590
- Should we...
834
00:35:34,674 --> 00:35:39,178
I mean, only if you're ready.
- I'm so ready.
835
00:35:41,264 --> 00:35:42,765
- ♪ You are ♪
836
00:35:42,849 --> 00:35:48,020
♪ With me from the end
to the start ♪
837
00:35:48,104 --> 00:35:50,898
♪ When gravity pulls on us ♪
838
00:35:50,982 --> 00:35:53,568
♪ You are ♪
839
00:35:53,651 --> 00:35:58,155
♪ With me from the end
to the start ♪
840
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:00,741
- Is that--oh.
841
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,705
- Wow.
842
00:36:08,165 --> 00:36:11,043
- ♪ When gravity
pulls on us ♪
843
00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:16,465
- Holy shit.
844
00:36:17,174 --> 00:36:18,676
- So, I have to work
until 10:00,
845
00:36:18,759 --> 00:36:21,262
but we can meet up for
a late breakfast after,
846
00:36:21,345 --> 00:36:22,763
if you want.
847
00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:25,224
Or we could go
to the campus store
848
00:36:25,308 --> 00:36:29,353
and get you one of those "Proud
Essex Boyfriend" T-shirts.
849
00:36:30,104 --> 00:36:32,315
What's up?
What's wrong?
850
00:36:32,398 --> 00:36:37,278
- So, I was thinking,
maybe we should both be free.
851
00:36:37,361 --> 00:36:39,906
- I totally agree.
Uh, free from what.
852
00:36:39,989 --> 00:36:42,867
- Free from each other.
853
00:36:42,950 --> 00:36:46,579
- Uh,
like free from each other...
854
00:36:46,662 --> 00:36:49,540
Like, are--are you--
are you breaking up with me?
855
00:36:49,624 --> 00:36:51,918
- I think of it more as me
856
00:36:52,001 --> 00:36:55,171
initiating a conversation
of our mutual independence.
857
00:36:55,254 --> 00:36:57,381
- Are you fucking kidding me?
858
00:36:57,465 --> 00:37:00,009
You took my virginity,
and now you're dumping me?
859
00:37:00,092 --> 00:37:01,802
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
we took each other's virginity.
860
00:37:01,886 --> 00:37:04,138
Mine was just as fragile
as yours.
861
00:37:04,221 --> 00:37:05,640
- Dude, that is fucked up.
862
00:37:05,723 --> 00:37:07,767
- Uh, can we have
some privacy, please?
863
00:37:07,850 --> 00:37:09,060
- Uh, no.
864
00:37:09,143 --> 00:37:10,478
You had the common room
all last night
865
00:37:10,561 --> 00:37:12,104
with your grunty,
novice boinking
866
00:37:12,188 --> 00:37:13,981
while we were trapped
in our rooms.
867
00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:16,817
- And we had to listen to your
crappy sex playlist on repeat.
868
00:37:16,901 --> 00:37:18,486
You made me hate Ed Sheeran.
869
00:37:18,569 --> 00:37:21,614
- Is that why you came here?
To have sex and then dump me?
870
00:37:21,697 --> 00:37:24,408
- Look, I really
care about you, Kimberly.
871
00:37:24,492 --> 00:37:25,660
- No, don't say anything.
872
00:37:25,743 --> 00:37:28,496
I never, ever want
to see you again.
873
00:37:33,501 --> 00:37:36,379
- Um...I am so sorry
about that,
874
00:37:36,462 --> 00:37:39,799
and I'm gonna go,
but I did forget my toothbrush.
875
00:37:39,882 --> 00:37:41,676
- Put a shirt on!
876
00:37:41,759 --> 00:37:43,052
- Get the fuck out of here,
dude!
877
00:37:45,972 --> 00:37:49,183
- Hi, Bela.
Hi, Bela, hi, Bela.
878
00:37:49,266 --> 00:37:50,726
Hi, Bela.
Hi, Bela.
879
00:37:50,810 --> 00:37:52,979
I wanna--
no matter what happens,
880
00:37:53,062 --> 00:37:54,397
I want you to know that--
881
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,023
No matter what,
I want you to know
882
00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:57,608
that I am so proud of you.
883
00:37:57,692 --> 00:37:59,443
This is gonna be--
Hi, Bela, it's you, Bela.
884
00:37:59,527 --> 00:38:01,278
No matter what happens.
Hi, Bela.
885
00:38:01,362 --> 00:38:03,364
Testing, testing?
886
00:38:03,447 --> 00:38:07,910
Hi, Bela, it's you, Bela.
887
00:38:07,994 --> 00:38:11,455
Today you find out if you
make "The Catullan" or not.
888
00:38:11,539 --> 00:38:14,583
But I want you to know that
no matter what happens today,
889
00:38:14,667 --> 00:38:17,795
I'm proud of you.
You're a boss bitch.
890
00:38:17,878 --> 00:38:19,380
And just remember,
891
00:38:19,463 --> 00:38:22,216
Molly Shannon didn't get
"SNL" on her first try.
892
00:38:22,299 --> 00:38:24,051
Neither did Rachel Dratch.
893
00:38:24,135 --> 00:38:27,847
But eventually they all did
and went on to become icons.
894
00:38:27,930 --> 00:38:30,057
And you know what?
You fucking will--
895
00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:32,268
Aah!
896
00:38:32,351 --> 00:38:33,978
Yes!
897
00:38:36,063 --> 00:38:38,274
Dude, can you move? Your
reflection's in my selfie.
898
00:38:41,402 --> 00:38:44,739
♪ ♪
899
00:38:44,822 --> 00:38:47,908
- Dalton!
- Hey.
900
00:38:47,992 --> 00:38:51,537
- Hey!
Dude, are you serious?
901
00:38:51,620 --> 00:38:55,916
Are Tapitio Doritos really part
of a healthy on-season diet?
902
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,335
Shouldn't you be
leading by example?
903
00:38:58,419 --> 00:39:01,088
- Yeah, no, I know, I just--
- Babe.
904
00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:03,758
Babe,
is this one of your players?
905
00:39:03,841 --> 00:39:06,010
Hi, I'm Michelle.
I'm Dalton's wife.
906
00:39:06,093 --> 00:39:08,929
It's so nice to meet you.
907
00:39:09,013 --> 00:39:12,933
- This is Whitney.
- Oh, my God, of course.
908
00:39:13,017 --> 00:39:14,643
I'm sorry, not to be a stalker,
or anything,
909
00:39:14,727 --> 00:39:16,479
but I'm a big fan of your mom.
910
00:39:16,562 --> 00:39:18,022
The way she gives it
to the NRA--
911
00:39:18,105 --> 00:39:22,026
I just love her.
- Thanks, she's great.
912
00:39:22,109 --> 00:39:25,237
Yeah, I gotta go.
913
00:39:25,321 --> 00:39:28,032
But it's really nice
to put a face
914
00:39:28,115 --> 00:39:31,035
with the name
I've heard so many times.
915
00:39:31,118 --> 00:39:32,536
- Bye.
916
00:39:35,664 --> 00:39:42,755
♪ ♪
917
00:39:57,853 --> 00:39:59,563
- Hey!
918
00:39:59,647 --> 00:40:03,067
Did you just throw your trash
on the floor in front of him?
919
00:40:03,150 --> 00:40:04,652
- He was already sweeping
there.
920
00:40:04,735 --> 00:40:06,529
- Oh, so you just
bounce your little
921
00:40:06,612 --> 00:40:08,823
breakfast wrap wrapper
on the ground
922
00:40:08,906 --> 00:40:10,574
instead of carrying it
to the trash
923
00:40:10,658 --> 00:40:12,493
like a normal fucking person?
924
00:40:12,576 --> 00:40:13,994
What the fuck is
wrong with you?
925
00:40:14,078 --> 00:40:15,454
He's not your Goddamn servant.
926
00:40:15,538 --> 00:40:17,665
- It's not a big deal.
- Look, I get it.
927
00:40:17,748 --> 00:40:19,500
You're some asshole
from that town
928
00:40:19,583 --> 00:40:21,127
where they shot
"Big Little Lies"
929
00:40:21,210 --> 00:40:23,379
or some shit, and you wear
100 fucking dollar jeans.
930
00:40:23,462 --> 00:40:25,756
- That's not a lot of money
for jeans.
931
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,049
- Shut the fuck up.
932
00:40:27,133 --> 00:40:28,509
Not everyone
on this campus has money.
933
00:40:28,592 --> 00:40:30,261
Some of us have
to work these jobs
934
00:40:30,344 --> 00:40:32,346
because, even if we didn't know
it until we got here,
935
00:40:32,429 --> 00:40:33,806
we're kind of poor.
936
00:40:33,889 --> 00:40:35,808
So, yeah, maybe I don't have
the newest iPhone,
937
00:40:35,891 --> 00:40:37,893
and maybe I don't know
what couscous is,
938
00:40:37,977 --> 00:40:40,187
but I'm still a fucking person,
and so is he,
939
00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:42,773
so treat us
like we fucking matter, okay?
940
00:40:42,857 --> 00:40:45,192
- Okay, fine.
941
00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:46,694
I'm sorry.
942
00:40:48,737 --> 00:40:51,782
- And no pants should cost
more than $40.
943
00:40:51,866 --> 00:40:53,742
- I agree with you, bitch.
944
00:40:56,996 --> 00:40:59,707
- Oh, my God.
This donut is insane.
945
00:40:59,790 --> 00:41:01,125
Do you want a bite?
946
00:41:01,208 --> 00:41:03,210
- Uh, no thanks.
I don't eat for enjoyment.
947
00:41:03,294 --> 00:41:06,213
- Leighton, sup?
- Hi.
948
00:41:06,297 --> 00:41:07,548
- You remember Cory, right?
949
00:41:07,631 --> 00:41:09,216
From the party
at Montauk last summer?
950
00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:12,052
- Uh, we were on the same team
for flag football.
951
00:41:12,136 --> 00:41:13,387
- Montauk? Flag football?
952
00:41:13,471 --> 00:41:16,056
That's the whitest shit
I've ever heard.
953
00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:18,767
I mean that as a compliment.
- Oh.
954
00:41:18,851 --> 00:41:21,061
- Hey, if you need
a tour around campus,
955
00:41:21,145 --> 00:41:23,522
or something, let me know.
956
00:41:23,606 --> 00:41:25,232
- Okay, thanks.
957
00:41:25,316 --> 00:41:27,484
- Does that offer include me?
- No, it definitely does not.
958
00:41:27,568 --> 00:41:29,278
- Hey, um, I know we just met,
959
00:41:29,361 --> 00:41:30,779
but would you be willing
to lift your shirt up
960
00:41:30,863 --> 00:41:33,240
and show me your torso?
961
00:41:33,324 --> 00:41:35,576
- I don't think anyone's
ever asked me that before.
962
00:41:36,827 --> 00:41:38,829
Excuse me.
963
00:41:38,913 --> 00:41:41,749
- Ho-ho! That's great.
You're very nice.
964
00:41:41,832 --> 00:41:44,084
- Hey, if you and your
roommates are free tonight,
965
00:41:44,168 --> 00:41:46,086
we're throwing a party
at Theta Pi Delta.
966
00:41:46,170 --> 00:41:49,798
You should stop by.
- Yeah, stop by.
967
00:41:52,384 --> 00:41:56,222
- Oh, my God, Leighton,
you're gonna fuck a ten!
968
00:41:56,305 --> 00:41:57,640
Wow!
969
00:42:02,186 --> 00:42:03,646
Out of these beds,
motherfuckers,
970
00:42:03,729 --> 00:42:05,564
because
our suite just got invited
971
00:42:05,648 --> 00:42:07,775
to an upperclassmen party.
972
00:42:07,858 --> 00:42:10,694
- I don't know about that.
Uh, today was really shitty.
973
00:42:10,778 --> 00:42:12,112
I'm just gonna stay in
974
00:42:12,196 --> 00:42:13,906
and finish this
sad Brazilian documentary
975
00:42:13,989 --> 00:42:15,449
about a snake who ate a boy.
976
00:42:15,532 --> 00:42:17,952
- Yeah, I'm staying in too.
977
00:42:18,035 --> 00:42:19,578
- No, no, no, no, no.
Turn them off.
978
00:42:19,662 --> 00:42:21,205
We're going out.
979
00:42:21,288 --> 00:42:23,999
- How, exactly, did we get
invited to this party anyway?
980
00:42:24,083 --> 00:42:26,418
- Oh, Leighton's smoke show
brother, Nico.
981
00:42:26,502 --> 00:42:29,463
And his somehow
even hotter friend Cory,
982
00:42:29,547 --> 00:42:30,881
who wants to rail Leighton.
983
00:42:30,965 --> 00:42:33,550
- Yeah, I really, really
don't want to go.
984
00:42:33,634 --> 00:42:36,262
Kimberly.
985
00:42:36,345 --> 00:42:37,513
Sweetie.
986
00:42:37,596 --> 00:42:39,390
Your boyfriend Max
fucking sucked.
987
00:42:39,473 --> 00:42:40,975
He ate
all our Nutri-Grain bars,
988
00:42:41,058 --> 00:42:42,851
and I'm pretty sure
he used my loofa.
989
00:42:42,935 --> 00:42:46,105
I know he was your first love,
and your first, you know,
990
00:42:46,188 --> 00:42:47,690
dick,
991
00:42:47,773 --> 00:42:49,024
but he was a dud.
992
00:42:49,108 --> 00:42:51,026
- Also, he shed on the sofa
like a cat.
993
00:42:51,110 --> 00:42:53,487
The dude was a yeti.
- Ugh.
994
00:42:53,570 --> 00:42:56,490
- Look,
we don't have power over
995
00:42:56,573 --> 00:42:58,200
when guys treat us like shit.
996
00:42:58,284 --> 00:43:00,828
But what we can control is
how much we let it affect us.
997
00:43:00,911 --> 00:43:02,997
I think Hillary Clinton
said that.
998
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:08,085
So, I say the four of us
go out, get tanked,
999
00:43:08,168 --> 00:43:09,795
and, who knows,
maybe we'll end up meeting
1000
00:43:09,878 --> 00:43:11,755
a guy who doesn't treat us
like garbage.
1001
00:43:11,839 --> 00:43:13,424
Or not.
It doesn't matter.
1002
00:43:13,507 --> 00:43:15,509
At least we'll be having fun.
1003
00:43:15,592 --> 00:43:17,636
- What do you think?
1004
00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:20,848
- Come on, come on,
come on, come on!
1005
00:43:20,931 --> 00:43:23,183
Yes!
Yes!
1006
00:43:23,267 --> 00:43:26,061
Yeah, she does!
1007
00:43:26,145 --> 00:43:28,439
We're gonna go out!
1008
00:43:31,525 --> 00:43:35,571
♪ ♪
1009
00:43:35,654 --> 00:43:39,533
♪ Tonight, tonight
I'm solo dancing in my room ♪
1010
00:43:39,616 --> 00:43:43,579
♪ Tonight, tonight, got time
for me, no time for you ♪
1011
00:43:43,662 --> 00:43:47,374
♪ Tonight I'm trying
to stay in on my own again ♪
1012
00:43:47,458 --> 00:43:54,381
♪ ♪
1013
00:43:56,842 --> 00:43:58,344
- It's freezing.
1014
00:43:58,427 --> 00:44:00,095
I wish you had let me wear
my anorak like I had wanted.
1015
00:44:00,179 --> 00:44:02,056
- No one in the history
of the world has gotten laid
1016
00:44:02,139 --> 00:44:03,891
wearing an anorak.
1017
00:44:05,351 --> 00:44:07,436
- Nico!
1018
00:44:07,519 --> 00:44:11,023
- Yo, let those girls through.
- Yeah, ha-ha!
1019
00:44:11,106 --> 00:44:15,069
- Oh, goddamn it, you know,
I left my phone in the room.
1020
00:44:15,152 --> 00:44:16,612
I'm gonna go back and get it.
1021
00:44:16,695 --> 00:44:18,405
- No, no, no, no, no,
it's fine, just use mine.
1022
00:44:18,489 --> 00:44:19,573
- No, it's okay,
I'll be right back.
1023
00:44:19,656 --> 00:44:20,824
- Do you want us
to wait for you?
1024
00:44:20,908 --> 00:44:22,826
- No, it is fine.
Go in, go in.
1025
00:44:22,910 --> 00:44:25,162
- Let's go,
my tits are freezing off.
1026
00:44:35,547 --> 00:44:39,468
Wow.
1027
00:44:39,551 --> 00:44:43,389
I can't believe we got in here.
- I fucking love college.
1028
00:44:43,472 --> 00:44:45,849
- ♪ There's nothing left
to hide and I ♪
1029
00:44:45,933 --> 00:44:47,476
♪ Don't wanna think
about you ♪
1030
00:44:47,559 --> 00:44:51,688
♪ I got you in my head,
on my mind ♪
1031
00:44:51,772 --> 00:44:53,273
♪ ♪
1032
00:44:53,357 --> 00:44:54,775
- Oh, shit.
1033
00:44:54,858 --> 00:44:57,569
Those two girls from
"The Catullan" are over there.
1034
00:44:57,653 --> 00:44:58,987
- Oh, go say hi.
1035
00:44:59,071 --> 00:45:00,781
- Not yet, I'm gonna play cool
for a little bit.
1036
00:45:00,864 --> 00:45:02,366
Gotta keep it chill.
1037
00:45:02,449 --> 00:45:04,535
Dude, can you stop looking?
- I'm not looking at them.
1038
00:45:04,618 --> 00:45:06,537
- Just keep your head
facing forward.
1039
00:45:06,620 --> 00:45:08,497
- Okay, fine!
1040
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:12,126
- Next.
1041
00:45:12,209 --> 00:45:14,420
- Oh, no, I'm sorry.
These are open containers.
1042
00:45:14,503 --> 00:45:16,213
- So?
1043
00:45:16,296 --> 00:45:17,381
- So someone could have put
something in it.
1044
00:45:17,464 --> 00:45:18,757
Do you have a bottle or a can?
1045
00:45:18,841 --> 00:45:20,300
- Oh, sure.
1046
00:45:20,384 --> 00:45:22,177
This frat party has a wide
variety of drink options.
1047
00:45:22,261 --> 00:45:24,096
Do you want to see a wine list?
1048
00:45:24,179 --> 00:45:27,141
- I--I think you're being
sarcastic, but I'm not sure.
1049
00:45:27,224 --> 00:45:28,684
- These are great.
Thank you so much.
1050
00:45:28,767 --> 00:45:30,436
We're gonna go.
Thanks.
1051
00:45:34,148 --> 00:45:35,983
Chug, chug,
1052
00:45:36,066 --> 00:45:43,490
Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug,
chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!
1053
00:45:43,574 --> 00:45:44,908
- Whoa!
1054
00:45:47,035 --> 00:45:48,829
- Oh, my God, are you okay?
1055
00:45:48,912 --> 00:45:50,372
- Yeah, uh...
- Let me get you some napkins.
1056
00:45:50,456 --> 00:45:51,999
- No, no, I just want to leave.
1057
00:45:52,082 --> 00:45:53,333
I shouldn't have
even come here.
1058
00:45:53,417 --> 00:45:54,668
- Do you want us
to come with you?
1059
00:45:54,751 --> 00:45:58,338
- No,
I really want to be alone.
1060
00:46:01,717 --> 00:46:03,177
- Hey.
1061
00:46:03,260 --> 00:46:04,761
I know you, right?
1062
00:46:04,845 --> 00:46:06,513
- Yeah,
I live with your sister.
1063
00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:09,641
- No, not that.
I saw you on move-in day.
1064
00:46:09,725 --> 00:46:11,101
You were checking me out.
1065
00:46:11,185 --> 00:46:13,061
- Me?
I was not checking you out.
1066
00:46:13,896 --> 00:46:16,190
I mean, I might have been
looking at you,
1067
00:46:16,273 --> 00:46:18,025
and, yes, might eyes might have
lingered on your body,
1068
00:46:18,108 --> 00:46:20,736
but that's like a totally
normal human reaction
1069
00:46:20,819 --> 00:46:22,112
to a shirtless man running.
1070
00:46:22,196 --> 00:46:23,614
I definitely was not
checking you out.
1071
00:46:23,697 --> 00:46:26,408
- Whoa, whoa, I'm just messing
with you, relax.
1072
00:46:26,492 --> 00:46:28,911
Are you leaving?
- I am.
1073
00:46:28,994 --> 00:46:30,954
- Wow, is our party that bad
1074
00:46:31,038 --> 00:46:32,539
that even freshmen are leaving
this early?
1075
00:46:32,623 --> 00:46:35,250
- No, I'm just having
a really shitty day.
1076
00:46:35,334 --> 00:46:37,377
- Well, what's going on?
1077
00:46:37,461 --> 00:46:40,339
- I wanted to wear my anorak,
and no one would let me.
1078
00:46:40,422 --> 00:46:41,882
And now I'm covered
in pumpkin ale,
1079
00:46:41,965 --> 00:46:43,675
and my stupid fucking boyfriend
dumped me,
1080
00:46:43,759 --> 00:46:47,012
And I'm pretty sure he stole
my deodorant before leaving.
1081
00:46:47,095 --> 00:46:51,141
- Jesus Christ.
- I know.
1082
00:46:51,225 --> 00:46:52,851
Have a nice night.
- Hey, wait.
1083
00:46:52,935 --> 00:46:54,520
I can help with this.
1084
00:46:54,603 --> 00:46:56,438
Why don't I grab you
something dry to wear,
1085
00:46:56,522 --> 00:47:00,025
and you can stay, and
Theta can save a little face.
1086
00:47:01,985 --> 00:47:04,780
- Yeah.
Yeah, okay, I can do that.
1087
00:47:04,863 --> 00:47:05,948
- Deal.
1088
00:47:07,241 --> 00:47:08,951
Wow, I'm really smelling
the beer on you now.
1089
00:47:09,034 --> 00:47:10,869
- I think a bunch of it
got into my bra.
1090
00:47:10,953 --> 00:47:13,205
Let me grab you that shirt.
1091
00:47:15,290 --> 00:47:19,086
- ♪ Going insane,
all the alcohol is to blame ♪
1092
00:47:19,169 --> 00:47:21,505
♪ Came down from...♪
1093
00:47:21,588 --> 00:47:23,966
- Hey, it's me, Bela.
1094
00:47:24,049 --> 00:47:25,926
Made the first cut
of "The Catullan."
1095
00:47:26,009 --> 00:47:28,428
I'm really excited to work
with you guys.
1096
00:47:28,512 --> 00:47:30,973
Us girls in comedy gotta
stick together, right?
1097
00:47:31,056 --> 00:47:33,684
- Blow me, freshman slut.
1098
00:47:35,519 --> 00:47:37,271
- Maybe you should have
checked first
1099
00:47:37,354 --> 00:47:40,983
to see if any of those guys
you jerked off had girlfriends.
1100
00:47:41,066 --> 00:47:44,361
♪ ♪
1101
00:47:44,444 --> 00:47:45,904
- You know,
my friends and I used
1102
00:47:45,988 --> 00:47:47,406
to steal shit from Walgreen's
all the time.
1103
00:47:47,489 --> 00:47:49,324
- My dad would not
be happy about that.
1104
00:47:49,408 --> 00:47:50,951
- Hey.
- Hey.
1105
00:47:51,034 --> 00:47:54,037
- Sorry, can we go?
- Oh, sure, is everything okay?
1106
00:47:54,121 --> 00:47:57,332
- Yeah, totally, party's lame,
just want to go.
1107
00:47:57,416 --> 00:48:00,043
- Sorry.
- Oh, it's all good.
1108
00:48:00,127 --> 00:48:01,587
Another time.
1109
00:48:01,670 --> 00:48:03,338
- Should we grab
Whitney and Leighton?
1110
00:48:03,422 --> 00:48:04,965
- Whitney said she wants
to stay,
1111
00:48:05,048 --> 00:48:07,676
and Leighton didn't come back.
She totally blew us off.
1112
00:48:07,759 --> 00:48:09,678
- Mm.
Let's go.
1113
00:48:09,761 --> 00:48:11,013
- Thank you.
1114
00:48:12,264 --> 00:48:14,308
- Hey, I'm Whitney.
- Canaan.
1115
00:48:14,391 --> 00:48:16,310
- Canaan?
- Yes, Canaan.
1116
00:48:16,393 --> 00:48:17,686
- Is your mom religious
1117
00:48:17,769 --> 00:48:19,646
or just super
into towns of Connecticut?
1118
00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:22,107
- Can't it be both?
1119
00:48:22,190 --> 00:48:23,317
What dorm you in?
1120
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:25,569
- No.
- Excuse me?
1121
00:48:25,652 --> 00:48:27,487
- Neither of us care
what dorm I'm in.
1122
00:48:27,571 --> 00:48:30,657
I want to see your room.
- What?
1123
00:48:30,741 --> 00:48:34,661
- Show me
what your room looks like.
1124
00:48:34,745 --> 00:48:37,748
- Oh!
Oh, you trying to fuck.
1125
00:48:37,831 --> 00:48:40,667
Oh, yeah, yeah,
let's show you the room.
1126
00:48:40,751 --> 00:48:43,754
Damn, I must look good tonight.
- You're all right.
1127
00:49:12,449 --> 00:49:15,410
- Another.
- Sure.
1128
00:49:18,622 --> 00:49:26,213
♪ ♪
1129
00:49:26,296 --> 00:49:30,676
- ♪ My, my,
hey, hey ♪
1130
00:49:30,759 --> 00:49:34,888
♪ ♪
1131
00:49:34,971 --> 00:49:39,518
♪ Rock and roll
is here to stay ♪
1132
00:49:39,601 --> 00:49:42,604
♪ ♪
1133
00:49:57,911 --> 00:50:01,915
- You're so hot.
- No talking.
1134
00:50:01,998 --> 00:50:03,917
Get on the bed.
1135
00:50:19,182 --> 00:50:23,562
- ♪ King is gone,
but he's not forgotten ♪
1136
00:50:23,645 --> 00:50:27,649
♪ ♪
1137
00:50:27,733 --> 00:50:32,320
♪ This is the story
of Johnny Rotten ♪
1138
00:50:32,404 --> 00:50:36,408
♪ ♪
1139
00:50:36,491 --> 00:50:40,370
♪ It's better to burn out ♪
1140
00:50:40,454 --> 00:50:44,958
♪ Than it is to rust ♪
1141
00:50:45,041 --> 00:50:49,921
♪ The king is gone,
but he's not forgotten ♪
1142
00:50:50,005 --> 00:50:57,095
♪ ♪
1143
00:51:02,934 --> 00:51:06,855
♪ Hey, hey,
my, my ♪
1144
00:51:06,938 --> 00:51:11,526
♪ ♪
1145
00:51:11,610 --> 00:51:15,697
♪ Rock and roll
can never die ♪
1146
00:51:15,781 --> 00:51:19,993
♪ ♪
1147
00:51:20,076 --> 00:51:24,456
♪ There's more
to the picture ♪
86290
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