Original subtitles

[soft music] [thunder rumbling]

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

[animal roaring]

[thunder rumbling]

[Allen] Father, are you ever afraid?

I've done too many exorcisms over the years

to be truly afraid anymore.

But I've seen too much outside of the norm not to be wary.

[Allen] Tell us about Amy.

Amy Kinderman is a young woman

who has struggling with possession since she was 14.

Her mother came to me about six months ago

to see if I could help.

I've had a few interviews with Amy

and I've seen all the signs.

The destructive behavior,

the abuse of her mother and others.

[Allen] So now you try an exorcism?

I have to do more than try.

[Allen] Father Benna, is God enough?

He or she has to be.

[doorbell rings]

That's Amy and her mother.

[door creaks]

Please come in.

[door creaks]

Father, do you want me to stay?

I think it's best if you come back later.

But what about the cameras?

I've done five exorcisms since we've started the show.

And the cameras haven't made a difference.

And they will be an important document once the show airs.

[sighs]

Amy, please have a seat and we can begin our work.

[Mother] Okay, Father.

She's in good hands.

The hands are the easy part.

It's when he makes me touch the other things.

He says they're holy.

He says it's different than the other boys

because he's a man of God.

That's the devil talking.

That's right, spank the devil out of me!

The demon deceives.

I've been very bad, Daddy.

Show me again what bad girls get.

These are a demon's oldest tricks.

You're just as bad as any other priest.

We're leaving.

And you're not even on basic cable.

[thumping]

I think your show just got canceled.

Better luck next time, priest.

[groans]

Did you get that?

Get what?

[ominous music]

I'm finished.

What could be worse?

[thunder rumbling]

[groaning]

[thunder rumbling]

It has been that written that Noah,

son of Lamech, was the 10th patriarch,

and at the age of 500 years,

fathered Shem, Japheth, and Ham.

And Shem fathered Arpachshad,

and Arpachshad down through his descendants begat Abraham.

Japheth begat Magog and Gomer

and many children who became kin to man.

It was Ham who begat Canaan

and called upon him a curse.

It was not the first curse of Noah,

but the only to be known today.

The other curse of Noah landed upon his son Zadkiel,

and thus, is his name lost today.

His name exists only in the Book of the Witch of Endor,

which was struck from the Bible.

The witch herself was nearly struck from the book of Samuel

for necromancy and wizardry,

and thus was her writing lost for centuries.

But we find in the Book of the Witch

that Zadkiel believed in the covenant of Noah

and worked alongside his fathers and brothers

in the building of the ark,

which the animals would go in two by two.

But Zadkiel rested when the others did not

and found himself by a lake.

And that is where he found the devil.

In those days, a demon could come in the form of a snake,

as one did to Adam and Eve,

or in the form of other creatures of an evil nature.

So it was on that day that Zadkiel,

son of Noah, first met the shark.

The shark spoke to Zadkiel of the coming flood

and asked to be taken upon the ark,

but Zadkiel said unto the shark

that his father Noah had already picked the two

that would go together.

It was then that the demon shark made a bargain with Zadkiel

and that bargain was that the shark would protect Zadkiel

from all the creatures of God

and would be the master of the coyote,

the hawk, the lion, the grizzly,

and all creatures who walk or fly

and might want to have mastery over man.

And so it was that Zadkiel snuck the shark

upon his father's vessel.

And when Noah found out what Zadkiel had done,

he struck his son in his drunkenness.

Zadkiel came too close to the shark,

and the demon betrayed him as all devils do.

[groaning]

And thus did Noah gather his other sons

and push the shark overboard,

and then did Noah pledge Shem, Japheth, and Ham to silence,

as the ark was to have been a place of harmony

and the discord of the brother and his shark

which made three instead of two

and then three instead of four

must not be spoken of again.

And thus by this did another curse fall

on the family of Noah,

that the flood lasted for 40 days instead of four

and the stories that were

hidden about those days were woeful.

[thunder rumbling]

I can't believe I'm reading this.

What, you got a tennis shoe endorsement waiting?

What exactly is this?

It's a documentary I'm working on.

I'm gonna use it to raise money to go look for the ark.

Who's going to watch this?

I don't know, old people who want to give me money?

It's kind of my thing.

[scoffs]

It's legit, Benna.

I know this Witch of Endor thing sounds like

some sort of Star Wars thing.

Look, I know the Witch of Endor was real.

Saul asked her to summon the spirit of Samuel,

which she did.

Behold, there is a woman who hath

a familiar spirit at Endor.

Okay, okay, so this old lady.

She had a grandpa or something.

He went searching for her, found this ancient tome,

contained all the writings, the prophecies of this witch.

They kept it out of the Bible back in the day.

I've never heard of this.

Well, if you weren't so busy doing zipper exorcisms,

maybe you'd heard of it.

- I didn't... - Yeah, yeah.

And I didn't skim off the top of a mega church either.

I mean, how 1980s can you be?

It's not like I had a bunch of wives

with a bunch of machine guns or

started some UFO sex cult or

asked them all to drink some cyanide kombucha.

I mean, I'm not even sure it's illegal

to skim off the top of the church anymore.

Look, about this Book of the Witch.

Yeah, so this book.

The old lady died and left it to me.

And in it, in the prophecies,

it contained where the ark landed.

And the fourth son of Noah who got eaten by a shark?

[Buster] That guy too.

So there's enough there, you think you can find the ark.

Yeah, baby.

Why is that?

Well, another dude, an explorer guy back in the day,

he read the Book of the Witch too,

followed all the clues and brought back a piece of wood.

I got it out back.

A board from what?

[Buster] From the ark.

Boards from the ark were just lying around?

I don't know, maybe he had a crowbar or something.

I wasn't there.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, ye of little faith.

And see, I do know how to use ye in a sentence.

They say I'm not a man of religion.

[ominous music]

So that's the board.

The old lady willed me all the papers and everything,

plus a couple grand

which the government took in the settlement,

which was a real screw 'cause I didn't

ask for that money, man.

She loved my TV show.

She was hoping I'd finish what her grandpa started.

She gave me all the official papers and everything,

plus a transcript of the Book of the Witch of Endor.

We've got everything we need to rock this thing, man.

Looks like someone peeled that off an Amish barn.

Don't do me like that, Father.

This lady was a true believer.

How come the old lady's family member

didn't bring back the rest?

Ah, I guess he came back with one arm or something.

Makes it kinda hard to lug things.

Only one arm?

Well, Mount Ararat ain't exactly a trip to Disneyland.

No.

I'm sure that's true.

Okay, so what do you think?

What do I think?

[ominous music] [heart thumping]

It sounds funny.

I don't know what this is.

But there's something.

[growling]

There's something there.

Yeah, it's a little splintery.

Had it in the garage with a bunch of other junk but

I think that's the right one.

Oh, it's the right one.

And the road to Endor is the oldest road

and the craziest road of all.

Straight it runs to the witch's abode

as it did in the days of Saul.

And nothing has changed of the sorrow in store,

for such as go down the road to Endor.

Huh, yeah, what you just said.

The prophecy of the witch is real.

I know because this wood is possessed.

[ominous music]

Tell me again.

What happened to the old woman who left you this?

I don't know, I think her house burned down or something.

Then how did the Book of the Witch of Endor survive?

How did that board make it?

I don't know.

The grandfather was gravely ill.

The granddaughter died in the fire.

And the father?

That one I know.

The old lady had me praying for his soul.

I would do that for four easy installments of 29.95.

Well, he went crazy.

Killed himself when she was young or something.

She thought he was burning in hell this whole time.

Prepare for the sons a place of slaughter

because of the iniquity of their fathers.

You got one for every occasion, don't you?

Right off the top of your head too.

That's good, that's real good.

So possessed wood, huh?

You had any luck with possessed wood,

you wouldn't have gotten in all that trouble.

What? Come on.

It was just right there.

Don't you ever shut up?

Now you know the difference between you and me.

You were paid to be religious.

I was paid to talk.

Nevermind that.

I saw the evil is soaked into that board.

The blood.

If you really want to know the secret of the ark,

the lost fourth son of Noah and of the demon,

I have to go to work.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Exactly what demon are we talking about here?

Be sober and be vigilant

because your adversary, the devil,

as a roaring lion walketh about,

seeking whom he may devour.

Or maybe swimmeth about?

Pretorius, please!

[Buster] Okay, okay.

Almighty God, source of irresistible might

and King of an invincible realm that I cannot perceive,

the ever glorious conqueror of evil,

he who restrains the force of the adversary,

silencing the uproar of his rage

and valiantly subduing his wickedness.

[growling] [hissing]

It is in awe and humility that I beg you, Lord,

to regard with favor this thing.

Take hold of the dragon.

Behold serpent, no matter which storm,

which is the devil and Satan

and all the demons of the underworld, large and small,

and bind them.

Hey, what's going on, man?

Hey man, is this even safe?

I didn't know this was real, is this real?

Benna!

Bind them.

Cast him into the bottomless pit

so he may no longer seduce the nations.

As smoke is driven away, so are they driven.

As wax melts before the flame,

so the wicked perish at the presence of God.

[ominous music]

Benna?

[squeaking]

Oh, dude!

What about all creatures great and small?

Then Jesus asked him, what is your name?

And the man answered, my name is Legion, for we are many.

In the book of Mark,

Jesus drove an impure spirit from a possessed man

and into a herd of pigs

which ran into a lake and drowned.

It wasn't going to leave that wood

until it found a willing receptacle.

Where is the Book of the Witch of Endor?

It's back at my place with the grandpa's journal.

You shouldn't leave that just lying around.

Yeah, I kinda see that now.

I need to read that journal before we go.

Go?

Go find the ark.

We didn't even raise any money yet.

We can't wait just for money.

What, wait, wait, you have money?

Why didn't you tell me you had money?

[heart thumping] [ominous music]

[growling]

[ominous music]

My search for Noah's ark enters a new phase

since I found the Book of the Witch of Endor.

To scale Mount Nebo was a trial,

but something kept pushing me on.

Something.

And now it is that I feel I know the Witch of Endor.

Now that I have read all of her prophecies,

which would get me banished from the church

were it known I had read them.

And since I read them, she seems...

A part of me.

Somewhere.

Always near.

And thus as my adventure's taken me from

one hellish peak to the next and

I set foot on Mount Ararat now

to seek the most sacred of things.

[ominous music]

Oh, my siren.

My muse.

[ominous music]

The witch was, in her way, an angel.

Carrying me to my destination.

For what purpose, a mere mortal cannot fathom,

except perhaps that I would carry

the good word of truth forward to my fellow man.

But I have learned that a good word is not enough.

That evidence must be shown to a doubting man's eyes.

[ominous music]

[shrieking]

[ominous music]

I knew that the road ahead would be fraught with peril

and that I would have to be on guard.

But I did not know danger would be so close.

[ominous music]

That death would be so close.

[ominous music]

[water trickling]

[wind howling]

[growling] [groaning]

That death would be so close.

[groaning] [ominous music]

That God would ask so much.

It is as it has been said.

God giveth, God taketh away.

I have found the ark

but also a powerful evil waiting for me.

I must survive so that the world knows about the ark.

But I am in a weakened state from which I may never recover.

So it shall be upon those after me

to bring the ark finally into the light

and banish the darkness.

For we must know light from darkness.

[knocking]

Come in.

[door creaking]

Allen? Really?

[Allen] Hey, people gotta work, Father.

Al, baby, over here.

Show's about me, not this guy.

Now you have a show?

Oh, it's more like a three episode arc

on this whole reality show thing.

It's called Road to Redemption.

No, River of Redemption.

Rock It to Redemption.

I don't know, something with redemption in the title.

Me, I get three episodes on this reality show.

That guy from the '80s hair metal band had one hit.

He gets five.

For doing drugs? Like that's anything.

Try skimming money, that takes brains.

Nevermind that.

Why is he here?

Oh, he's going with us to Israel.

[Father Benna] Why are we going to Israel?

[Buster] Mount Ararat, the whole Noah's ark thing?

Mount Ararat is not in Israel.

It's between Turkey, Iran, Armenia, and Azerbaijan.

[Buster] Wait, Turkey?

Yes, it's under Turkish military control.

So they shoot onsite.

We need to find a less guarded route.

Our best bet might be Iran.

It's the closest side to where the notes take us.

Wait, wait, Iran?

There's no easy way.

And it is as it has been said.

We have to know the darkness from the light.

But Iran, dude.

Remind me, they don't like us there, right?

[Father Benna] You better think about packing.

[Buster] Wait, they don't like us anywhere, do they?

Go home and pack.

[static hissing]

[thunder rumbling]

[static hissing]

[ominous music]

[growling] [screaming]

[Narrator] Located at 3830 McMahon Road

on a desolate hilltop near the village

of Hinsdale, New York,

the Dandy house is over 100 years old

and inhabited by age old spirits.

Built near an Indian burial ground

just 200 feet from the home,

blood has been seen gushing from the earth there.

This cemetery reputedly incurs 1,100 Senecas

who were killed by their own tribe for committing evil.

Often, the Dandys heard a course

of disembodied voices echoing from the nearby woods

as if performing a cleansing ritual.

Equally disturbing, the family watched smoky air

in the kitchen transform into a huge gray wolf.

The beast leaped straight through a wooden door.

The Iroquois word for bleed was plainly heard.

Then, shadow people were seen leering in the window.

After the Dandys went outside to investigate,

the same faces were looking out at them from the living room

as lights flashed on and off.

Other ghosts were present as well.

A young dark-haired lady was seen walking by the pond.

Could she have been the woman hung from a tree out front?

Then, apparitions in long gowns began appearing

with startling frequency,

both in and out of the house.

They well could have been the victims

of a deranged innkeeper who murdered travelers

while the dwelling served as a way station for stagecoaches.

From the time Phil Dandy, his wife, Clara,

and their three children moved into the house

in July of 1973,

they were beset by dark forces.

Lights turned on and off by themselves.

The kitchen stove went haywire while cooking dinner.

Rooms got icy cold in August,

and pounding and dragging noises echoed from the attic.

One day, they heard the slamming of a window

and smashing glass.

When they scrambled to look in the bedroom

from which the noise issued,

all the windows were in place.

Then, the haunting grew violent.

After a lamp flew across the room at one of the daughters,

the death card, the ace of spaces,

was found on the floor in her room.

A few days later, two of the children awoke

with burn marks covering their bodies.

This prompted the family to enlist

Father Alphonsus Trabold of St. Bonaventure

to perform an exorcism on April 13th, 1975.

As he conducted his ceremony,

moans and wails echoed through the house

until all grew deathly still.

Three months later though...

- I'm finished. - The evil forces

renewed their attacks.

- What could be worse? - The Dandys were eventually

forced to move.

[rumbling]

[phone ringing]

Dude, I'll get you the money.

[Man] You said you were raising the money.

Same difference.

[Man] Not to me it ain't.

Raising money is money that you don't have.

Listen man, I gotta go outta town for a few days.

I'll have the money when I get back.

[Man] I don't like the sounds of that, Buster.

Listen, I know people say this,

but this time, I got it.

I'm gonna come back.

I'm gonna be making bank, dude.

[Man] You better be.

[ominous music]

[Woman] When I saw your name on the dating app,

I thought it sounded familiar.

Yeah, yeah, I was in the entertainment industry.

Right now, I'm a producer, so.

[Woman] Wow.

Yeah, so doing a whole history thing right now.

[Woman] That's crazy 'cause I'm an actress.

I know, I saw it on your profile.

So how would you like to play Noah's wife?

[Woman] Noah's wife?

Yeah, I mean, he had 100 wives or whatever,

but after the first few,

you know he's only picking hotties.

[Woman] I guess.

Yeah, so. [sirens blaring]

Hold on, sounds like a bunch of fire trucks

are going by or something.

[Woman] What?

Never mind, how would you like to do

a cold reading at my studio?

[Woman] A what?

A cold reading. [sirens blaring]

In my studio.

[Woman] Are you there?

My studio!

[sirens blaring]

[Woman] Buster, are you there?

[ominous music]

[Demon] Better luck next time, priest.

- Better luck next time. - For we must know

- light from darkness. - Better luck next time.

[ominous music]

[Blake] For we must know light from darkness.

[Demon] Better luck next time, priest.

[Blake] For we must know light from darkness.

[ominous music]

[growling]

[ominous music]

[Ominous Being] I am a visitation.

What do you want?

[Ominous Being] Stay away from Buster Pretorius.

We know of him and his foolish quest.

You might be too late for that.

Who is we?

[Ominous Being] You may call us Z.

And we protect the cursed ark from ever being found.

The cursed ark?

But most believe the ark to be sacred.

Why do you call the ark cursed?

[Ominous Being] Noah begat a cursed son

whose name is lost to history,

but we know as Zadkiel.

I know of him.

[Ominous Being] He was the fourth son

after Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

Zadkiel was also a drunk like his father, Noah,

and was led into sin many times.

Before the flood, Zadkiel laid with a harlot

and she became with child,

but Zadkiel was ashamed and left her on land

when the flood came.

But the fallen angel Abraxis came on black wings

and lifted the harlot to a mountaintop

where she labored for 40 days and 40 nights.

And on the day the waters receded, a child was born,

and thus was born the only child of Zadkiel,

as he died on the ark and was thrown over

by his three brothers and his father.

And thus as well was born the first

of the lost tribe of Zadkiel.

And we call ourselves Z.

Pledged through the many ages

to keep our father's grave hidden from sight.

But if the world were to see the evidence of God's plan,

we might change everything.

[Ominous Being] But the true story of the ark

shows the plan of the devil,

and that knowledge would be far worse.

Knowledge of the devil is well known in this world.

And so I cannot accept that interpretation.

[Ominous Being] Then you will die.

[groans]

Who's this dude, Ghost of Christmas Past?

What are you doing here?

That dude torched the studio.

What?

Yeah, I saw him sneaking away, followed him here.

Dude, did you cook bacon in this?

Oh, I could smash some bacon right now.

What about the Book of the Witch of Endor and the journal?

No worries, I don't leave that stuff lying around anymore.

I carry it with me.

Plus the studio, I got insurance and an alibi this time.

Let's see who this guy is.

Oh, that's not good.

Ew, is this his face?

The more important question is,

is he dead?

Just grab his feet.

[ominous music]

Let's ghost.

[ominous music]

Still don't know what you're doing.

That guy burned down my studio and tried to kill you.

You don't know that.

Yeah.

This fell out of his robe while we were dragging him.

Well, yes.

That doesn't look good.

[ominous music]

[shrieking]

Thou shalt not kill.

Happy now?

Let's get outta here.

[engine revs]

Look out!

[Ominous Being] We warned you about the cursed place.

Oh, I just had this car detailed.

[Ominous Being] Now you are cursed.

No, screw this.

[groans]

He said he was part of the lost tribe of Zadkiel.

Noah's son who died after bringing

the third shark on the ark.

Wonder why there's so many lost books of the Bible.

Imagine if those were lost Harry Potter books.

People would be freaking out.

Because church elders...

Okay, I really don't care.

I don't need a history lesson.

If I did, I'd still be going to Kirk Cameron Bible College.

[slurps]

Oh my God, it tastes like there's coffee in this.

There's only coffee in this.

That's what I get for hanging out

with you Old Testament dudes.

He kept saying we.

Maybe he meant the royal we.

Those culty types love to talk like that.

But what if there's more of them?

You saying we might need protection?

We might need something.

In that case, I know a guy who knows a guy.

All our answers are right here at this shooting range.

Shooting range?

We're on a mission from God.

[guns blasting]

Yo, Jed, how's it hanging?

Back from that big sandbox, I see.

What do you want, Pretorius?

Hey listen, I know that security gig didn't go

the way you wanted.

War crimes are a bitch.

Even Terry Taliban has a cell phone these days, am I right?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Didn't your daddy teach you

not to point those things at people?

No, my mama did.

Father Benna, this is an old friend of mine,

Gina Jedlicher, but everyone calls her Jed.

Old friends? Is that what we are?

I mean, we're not gonna dwell on all that, are we?

Again, what do you want?

Me and my friends here, we might have a little,

a little gig for you.

Keep talking.

Security gig.

For you? Easy peasy.

I don't do video.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, understandable.

But also nonnegotiable.

It'll be easy, like a trip to the ice cream store.

[ominous music] [guns blasting]

Go, go, go!

Don't stop running!

[guns blasting]

Jed, we don't need to be killing any soldiers.

They already chased us pretty far towards the mountain.

I'm shooting at a snake.

Snakes?

Snakes.

[wind howling]

Oh hey, you're not gonna eat that, are you?

What'd you think we were gonna eat tonight?

The beef jerky I brought, for one thing.

Yeah, you dropped that with a whole bunch of other crap

when you were running like your ass was on fire.

I did that on purpose.

I was trying to distract them, I saved your life.

No, no, no, no, hey, you're not gonna touch that, are you?

Hey.

[soft music] [fire crackling]

Nah, I'm good.

[soft music] [fire crackling]

Do you see something moving?

No, not moving.

[soft music] [fire crackling]

I'll just watch the fire.

Don't want it to go out.

Guys?

Guys?

[soft music]

Thought I saw it gleaming.

I've seen plenty of them, so I know what they look like.

We aren't the first to go looking for the ark.

We'll be some of the only to ever come back.

Is that so?

If God wills.

If God wills.

I saw myself dying in plenty of hell holes

over the last years for many reasons,

but I never saw myself dying in service of God.

Then don't.

Make it sound so easy.

I wish I saw things the way you do.

[growling] [ominous music]

[groaning] [growling]

I doubt it.

[ominous music]

[Buster] Yo, let's take a break.

Good idea.

In fact, it might be a good idea if we take a nap.

A nap?

Yeah, if we power down now,

we can walk more through the night.

We don't have to worry about coming across any patrols.

If they patrolled up here,

they would've found the ark already.

They didn't have the journal.

Does that journal have coordinates?

More like directions.

So it's a pre-GPS kinda thing.

Yes, that's correct.

I'll take first watch.

[ominous music]

- What the? - Come with me.

Where are we going?

[ominous music]

Wait, where are we going?

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What, don't you want to do this?

Of course I want to do this but it's just,

last time you wanted to do this,

you thought you were gonna die in Afghanistan.

I almost did.

Is it true?

Think you're gonna die out here now?

[groans]

I mean, you know what they say.

I'll try anything once but...

You idiot!

I didn't make that, I found it.

Okay, okay, cool.

We're gonna need a safe word though.

[groans]

What? So this is a no go now?

Jed.

[bird squawking]

I thought we were going to try to walk through the night.

Change in plans.

Told you we'd show you the sharp end of the stick.

You know, back in Nam,

the Cong used to pee on the ends of those sticks

to cause infection to the soldiers who got stuck with them.

Who told you that, your grandma in the Green Berets?

Will you go make yourself useful

and get us some more sticks?

Not the pointy ones.

Should you have given him a gun?

Do you want to carry him down the mountain

when he shoots himself in the foot?

[ominous music]

Picking up sticks.

You brought these people into this project.

We're all gonna make money.

I'm picking up sticks.

[ominous music]

What the?

[ominous music]

Dude, the last one I couldn't pry from a guy's face.

This one I find hanging just on a peg.

What is this?

A mask for a cult based on a son of Noah.

One of the cultists came to visit

before we left on the trip.

This would've been good intel to have

before we had left.

Ah, I hit him on the head with a frying pan.

They ain't nothing.

I'll be the judge of that.

A warning?

To us?

Or to them?

[fire crackling]

[static hissing]

[ominous music]

[laughing maniacally]

[ominous music]

[fire crackling]

You know, the mask could've been put there 50 years ago.

Yep.

Relax, nobody knew which way we were walking,

least of all Benna.

Shut up and eat your pika.

What is this pika anyway?

It tastes like chicken.

Pika's an animal, it's not an entree.

It's kinda like a rabbit.

It's kinda like a rat.

What?

Did you see us pass a drive-thru?

We should try and get some sleep.

It looks like we might reach the ark tomorrow.

Move over, Allen, let me share this with you.

[fire crackling] [ominous music]

Hey, I'm gonna go get some B-roll footage.

[wind howling]

[Buster] Dude, really?

[Allen] We're really going to find the ark today?

That's what the big priest man says.

[Allen] Well, it's gotta be better than what we got.

What do you mean?

[Allen] I'm filming this so we both have a record

of what I'm telling you.

We've been out here for days.

You gotta do better than a pointy stick in the ground

and a mask you hung on a tree.

Dude, I did not do that.

[Allen] Uh-huh.

I thought you wanted more than a three episode story arc.

Dude, this is real, I swear to God.

[Allen] Well, there's real

and then there's reality television.

Do you get me?

Yep.

[Allen] We paid you, Buster.

Yeah.

[Allen] Okay then.

[static hissing]

[ominous music] [heart thumping]

[groans]

Getting kinda late, Benna.

Yeah, I don't even know

if we're going uphill anymore, dude.

My feet hurt all the time.

Laban said to Jacob,

behold this heap and behold the pillars,

which I have set betwixt you and me.

This heap is a witness and the pillar is a witness

that I will not pass by this heap to you for harm.

And you will not pass by this heap or this pillar

to me for harm.

The man said what he said, baby.

[sighs]

Benna, your explorer guy, Blake,

he was starving, man.

He was tired, he lost his arm.

He could've bled out on the way back.

That stuff he wrote, he was out of it, man.

[ominous music]

Dude, that could just be an old board.

They don't fall off the tree planed.

The energy.

There's a presence here.

[ominous music]

Yeah, that's a nice board.

Get a couple of cinder blocks,

you could set your stereo up on it.

[ominous music]

Don't you feel it?

[ominous music]

[static hissing]

Did you see that?

[ominous music]

I see you losing it, bro.

There's a long walk outta here.

[ominous music]

The end of all flesh has come before me.

Are you getting this?

[static hissing]

Benna, what...

[ominous music]

[soft music]

Hello, old girl.

[ominous music]

[groaning]

[ominous music]

[growling]

[ominous music]

[Ominous Being] We warned you.

We are not your enemy, we are the protectors.

[groaning]

He is trapped here.

His soul pinned to the floor of the ark.

Now your soul is trapped here too.

[ominous music]

Let me get him some water.

Take it easy there, buddy.

Listen, I ain't gonna stroke your forehead,

but I am here for you.

No, not water.

What are you saying?

What?

[ominous music]

[Allen] Hang in there, Father Benna.

They went to get you some water by the lake.

It's gonna be okay.

[ominous music]

Hey, hey, it's me.

I didn't know it was you.

If I had, I would've shot.

Don't say I didn't try to make the world a better place.

I just wanted you to know,

Benna looks a little better now.

He's calmed down a bit.

So this lake, this pond, this little pond.

Looks like it could only hold Noah's pontoon

and that's about it.

Normally I'd find blasphemy extremely hot but

right now, this all seems kinda sacred.

I mean, back in the day,

this must've all been covered in water

and that's how the ark floated up here.

Is that what you think happened?

I mean, Blake's journal was right.

The Book of the Witch was right.

For the first time in a long time,

I see the spirit all around us.

I see what Benna sees.

I see the beauty in the unseen and the unknown.

I feel it inside of me.

Jed, I want you to know...

Don't say it.

I want you to know I...

[screaming]

Oh my God!

[gun blasting]

[growling]

There's blood in the water.

It might not all be, it might not all be...

Thanks.

[growling]

It's the first time I can say a priest saved me.

That's what we're here for.

[growling] [gun blasts]

[screaming]

Father!

Dead, all dead.

There's no way that shark

could've taken all those bullets.

Maybe they're...

No, no.

Well, we can get a piece of the wood from the ark.

Take it down the mountain.

Prove to people that we were here, we found it.

No.

You've got the footage.

Find the highway, the E-99.

Turn yourself over to the first

military squad you come across.

- It's the only way. - I'm not leaving you!

Go!

Go.

Go.

[ominous music] [shrieking]

Be sober and be vigilant

because your adversary, the devil,

as a roaring lion, walketh about.

Seeking whom he may devour.

Almighty God, source of irresistible might

and King of an invincible realm that I cannot perceive,

the ever glorious conqueror of evil,

he who restrains the force of the adversary,

silencing the uproar of his rage

and valiantly subduing his wickedness.

[shrieking]

It is in awe and humility that I beg you, Lord,

to regard with favor this thing.

Take hold of the dragon.

Behold serpent, no matter which storm,

which is the devil and Satan

and all the demons of the underworld, large and small,

and bind them.

Hey, what's going on, man?

Hey man, is this even safe?

I didn't know this was real, is this real?

Benna!

Bind them.

Cast him into the bottomless pit

so he may no longer seduce the nations.

As smoke is driven away, so are they driven.

As wax melts before the flame,

so the wicked perish at the presence of God.

Benna?

[ominous music]

You're not really the Witch of Endor, are you?

[Woman] We are Legion.

[Man] I am Legion.

We are Legion.

That's what I thought.

[Woman] The mirror is cracked.

There are many facets.

Without a sun, there could be no shadow.

You cannot know the cold of the night

without first feeling the heat of the day.

I would've thrown myself into the void

to have defeated you.

[Woman] The willingness to sacrifice

therein lies the difference between you and me.

And yet, you must live.

[ominous music]

I don't want to be in a found footage movie.

I don't want to be in a found footage movie.

[squawking] What's that?

Oh man.

What did you do that for?

The coin has two sides.

It needs us.

For more people to come here.

For it to survive.

Maybe in a way, we need it too.

But that's going to be someone else's decision.

No one should know how we found the ark.

There's too much at stake to know.

We're leaving the camera here.

And I'm going to destroy all that remains

when we get back.

If we get back.

We will.

But we have to start now.

[wind howling]

[shrieking]

[growling]

[ominous music] [thunder rumbling]

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

[wind howling]