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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,723 --> 00:00:17,323 I don't think so, do you? 2 00:00:18,363 --> 00:00:20,843 It's only 29.99. 3 00:00:20,843 --> 00:00:22,363 Yeah, but where will you wear it? 4 00:00:22,363 --> 00:00:25,403 You never do anything except go to school or study. 5 00:00:25,403 --> 00:00:28,923 Yeah. I've got library books that have been out more than me. 6 00:00:28,923 --> 00:00:29,963 Exactly. 7 00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:31,243 I mean, why waste your money 8 00:00:31,243 --> 00:00:33,443 on something that will never get worn, darling? 9 00:00:34,923 --> 00:00:36,683 OK, let's go. 10 00:00:36,683 --> 00:00:39,563 I have to pick up your dad's athlete's foot powder. 11 00:00:39,563 --> 00:00:42,523 I'd hate to miss that, but can I meet you at the car? 12 00:00:42,523 --> 00:00:43,763 All right, but don't be long. 13 00:00:43,763 --> 00:00:46,003 I've only got ten minutes left on the parking. 14 00:00:59,683 --> 00:01:01,923 Excuse me, miss. 15 00:01:01,923 --> 00:01:03,363 I need to look in your bag. 16 00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:05,243 Why? 17 00:01:05,243 --> 00:01:07,323 Can I look in your bag, please? 18 00:01:14,363 --> 00:01:16,443 We've got a runner, boys. 19 00:01:18,963 --> 00:01:20,563 Sorry. Sorry! 20 00:01:38,763 --> 00:01:40,043 Stop! 21 00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:47,883 Sorry! 22 00:02:07,923 --> 00:02:09,243 Rani? 23 00:02:12,243 --> 00:02:13,843 What's going on? 24 00:02:57,523 --> 00:02:59,843 Do you remember what's special about today, sweetie? 25 00:02:59,843 --> 00:03:01,643 Um, Grampa's coming to stay? 26 00:03:01,643 --> 00:03:02,883 That's right. 27 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:06,723 Grandpa is funny and charming and you're gonna like him very much. 28 00:03:06,723 --> 00:03:09,003 But I do need you to remember one thing while he's here. 29 00:03:09,003 --> 00:03:12,723 I need you to remember that Grandpa is a lying, thieving, 30 00:03:12,723 --> 00:03:14,403 selfish old bastard. 31 00:03:16,483 --> 00:03:18,923 Good luck. Cheers, mate. Good luck, bro. 32 00:03:18,923 --> 00:03:20,563 And what is Grandpa? 33 00:03:21,483 --> 00:03:24,203 A lying, thieving, selfish old bastard. 34 00:03:24,203 --> 00:03:26,483 Who can...? Who can never be trusted. 35 00:03:26,483 --> 00:03:28,003 Good girl. 36 00:03:33,203 --> 00:03:34,843 Safe travels, Frank. 37 00:03:46,363 --> 00:03:51,203 Greetings and felicitations. Margie, did you change your hair? 38 00:03:51,203 --> 00:03:52,283 Quite possibly, Frank, 39 00:03:52,283 --> 00:03:54,043 in the eight years since I last saw you. 40 00:03:54,043 --> 00:03:55,923 This young buck must be Tom. 41 00:03:55,923 --> 00:03:57,723 Hey, dude, what's happening? 42 00:03:57,723 --> 00:04:01,683 Lord, oh, Lord, who's this beautiful princess? 43 00:04:01,683 --> 00:04:03,083 Holly. 44 00:04:03,083 --> 00:04:04,963 Oh, what a pleasure. 45 00:04:04,963 --> 00:04:07,003 Where are we setting up, please? 46 00:04:07,003 --> 00:04:11,323 Between the hours of 7pm and 6am, you will remain in this residence 47 00:04:11,323 --> 00:04:13,043 and the light will remain green. 48 00:04:13,043 --> 00:04:14,923 If you travel more than two metres from this residence, 49 00:04:14,923 --> 00:04:16,403 the light turns red. 50 00:04:16,403 --> 00:04:17,483 Is that clear? 51 00:04:17,483 --> 00:04:19,563 Crystal. What happens if it turns red? 52 00:04:19,563 --> 00:04:21,043 You get a little visit from the police. 53 00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:22,283 Ooh. 54 00:04:23,403 --> 00:04:24,843 I'll show myself out. 55 00:04:24,843 --> 00:04:26,483 Thank you for your service. 56 00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:28,963 Why were you in prison? 57 00:04:28,963 --> 00:04:30,723 It was a misunderstanding. 58 00:04:30,723 --> 00:04:33,603 Grandpa misunderstood that you can't forge signatures on cheques. 59 00:04:33,603 --> 00:04:35,963 Oooh... Ah! 60 00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:38,243 What's a cheque? 61 00:04:44,003 --> 00:04:47,723 All right, yep, yep. I do. 62 00:04:47,723 --> 00:04:50,483 Can I speak? Thank you. I'm asking for two poxy weeks. 63 00:04:50,483 --> 00:04:51,523 No phones allowed. What? 64 00:04:51,523 --> 00:04:53,403 Back through the machine. Empty your pockets. 65 00:04:53,403 --> 00:04:56,083 All right, Captain, slow down. Just a middle-aged white man. 66 00:04:56,083 --> 00:04:59,083 All I'm carrying are keys and unwanted back fat. 67 00:04:59,083 --> 00:05:00,323 No, listen, no. 68 00:05:00,323 --> 00:05:02,323 The Chinese deal is going through. No phones allowed. 69 00:05:02,323 --> 00:05:03,963 What? No phones allowed. 70 00:05:03,963 --> 00:05:06,083 No phones allowed. I have to call you back. 71 00:05:07,083 --> 00:05:08,723 And the bag. And the bag! 72 00:05:08,723 --> 00:05:13,363 Listen, I'm a businessman from Bristol, not a jihadi bride. 73 00:05:15,403 --> 00:05:16,603 Are you wearing a belt? 74 00:05:16,603 --> 00:05:17,643 I am wearing a belt. 75 00:05:17,643 --> 00:05:20,083 Yes, I like it when my trousers stay up. That OK? 76 00:05:21,323 --> 00:05:24,003 Thank you. Where am I going please? 77 00:05:34,843 --> 00:05:38,083 Be careful, darling. Just do whatever they tell you. 78 00:06:11,083 --> 00:06:12,523 This way. 79 00:06:30,803 --> 00:06:33,883 Hi there. I'm Greg. 80 00:06:33,883 --> 00:06:37,963 I'm 6'7" tall and, no, it's not in proportion. 81 00:06:37,963 --> 00:06:40,443 If it was in proportion, I'd be 8'3". 82 00:06:48,203 --> 00:06:51,323 Greetings and felicitations. High pockets! 83 00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:53,083 What's tickin', chicken? 84 00:06:53,083 --> 00:06:56,203 Uh, it's finger-lickin', chicken. 85 00:06:56,203 --> 00:07:00,283 Good morning, ladies. Can I just say? You're both looking beautiful. 86 00:07:00,283 --> 00:07:01,763 No, you can't. 87 00:07:01,763 --> 00:07:03,243 He can't tell you that you're beautiful? 88 00:07:03,243 --> 00:07:05,483 We didn't ask him for a verdict on our appearance. 89 00:07:05,483 --> 00:07:07,563 Sorry, but I say it like I find it. 90 00:07:07,563 --> 00:07:11,283 And, ladies, you're both a right couple of swooners. 91 00:07:13,403 --> 00:07:16,763 Attention! Sit. 92 00:07:17,883 --> 00:07:19,563 Some people... 93 00:07:19,563 --> 00:07:23,283 ..think that Community Payback is an easy option. 94 00:07:23,283 --> 00:07:25,363 A soft touch. 95 00:07:25,363 --> 00:07:27,563 Newsflash - 96 00:07:27,563 --> 00:07:29,083 it ain't. 97 00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:33,083 You will repay your debt to society by working the number of hours 98 00:07:33,083 --> 00:07:35,323 mandated by the court. 99 00:07:35,323 --> 00:07:38,523 My name is Diane Pemberley. I'm your supervisor. 100 00:07:38,523 --> 00:07:43,203 And I can be a good guy...or a mean bastard. 101 00:07:43,203 --> 00:07:44,723 Your choice. 102 00:07:44,723 --> 00:07:46,963 - Good guy, please. - You don't choose. 103 00:07:46,963 --> 00:07:48,883 You said it was our choice. It was a figure of speech. 104 00:07:48,883 --> 00:07:51,243 It wasn't entirely clear. Are you a trouble-maker? 105 00:07:51,243 --> 00:07:53,203 No, ma'am. Definitely not. 106 00:07:53,203 --> 00:07:56,483 When I call your name, say here. 107 00:07:56,483 --> 00:07:57,563 John Halloran. 108 00:07:57,563 --> 00:07:59,203 Here. Shouldn't be. 109 00:07:59,203 --> 00:08:00,323 Frank Sheldon? 110 00:08:00,323 --> 00:08:01,723 What's the agenda, Brenda? 111 00:08:01,723 --> 00:08:02,923 Christian Taylor. 112 00:08:02,923 --> 00:08:06,243 Yo. OK, what are you people not getting? Just say here. 113 00:08:06,243 --> 00:08:07,603 Myrna Okeke. 114 00:08:07,603 --> 00:08:09,763 Here in body, not in spirit. 115 00:08:09,763 --> 00:08:12,723 I don't know what that means. Gregory Dillard? 116 00:08:12,723 --> 00:08:13,923 Yeah, that's me. 117 00:08:13,923 --> 00:08:15,763 Can I just apologise for the inappropriate joke 118 00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:18,043 earlier about things being in proportion? 119 00:08:18,043 --> 00:08:22,203 To be honest, it's not even that long. Although it is quite flat. 120 00:08:22,203 --> 00:08:23,443 Like a kipper. 121 00:08:23,443 --> 00:08:25,123 Just say here. 122 00:08:25,123 --> 00:08:26,443 Yeah, here. Yeah. Here. 123 00:08:26,443 --> 00:08:28,283 Rani Rekowski? 124 00:08:28,283 --> 00:08:30,203 Here. Thank you. 125 00:08:59,603 --> 00:09:05,323 You each have over 100 hours to serve. 126 00:09:06,483 --> 00:09:07,843 You have been tasked 127 00:09:07,843 --> 00:09:11,443 with restoring this into a community centre 128 00:09:11,443 --> 00:09:14,203 for the local...community. 129 00:09:15,203 --> 00:09:18,243 You will work four hours each visit. 130 00:09:18,243 --> 00:09:22,203 Only when I am happy with the work you have done 131 00:09:22,203 --> 00:09:24,803 will I log those four hours. 132 00:09:24,803 --> 00:09:26,123 Take another one. 133 00:09:26,123 --> 00:09:27,563 During clean-up duty, 134 00:09:27,563 --> 00:09:32,803 if you find a deceased animal over 10k, 135 00:09:32,803 --> 00:09:35,003 do not touch it. 136 00:09:35,003 --> 00:09:37,643 That is the council's business. 137 00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:43,403 Anything under 10k - vermin, cats, a small dog - 138 00:09:43,403 --> 00:09:45,003 that is yours. 139 00:09:45,003 --> 00:09:46,883 Can we keep it? No, you may not. 140 00:09:46,883 --> 00:09:49,563 Now, you may be wondering about faeces. 141 00:09:49,563 --> 00:09:51,283 You read my mind. 142 00:09:51,283 --> 00:09:55,523 If you find human faeces, do not touch it. 143 00:09:55,523 --> 00:09:59,443 You may handle other species' faeces. 144 00:09:59,443 --> 00:10:00,803 Can we keep it? 145 00:10:00,803 --> 00:10:02,443 No, you may not. 146 00:10:02,443 --> 00:10:08,123 You are here for the next four hours, people. You may begin! 147 00:10:20,643 --> 00:10:21,963 So, why're you here? 148 00:10:23,163 --> 00:10:26,043 Uh, oh, well, I'm here because, uh, 149 00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:28,003 even though I run a successful company 150 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:30,283 making brake pads, pay my taxes, 151 00:10:30,283 --> 00:10:32,203 employ 52 people, 152 00:10:32,203 --> 00:10:35,603 we have a criminal justice system that kowtows to the, uh, 153 00:10:35,603 --> 00:10:37,403 right-on leftie liberal brigade. 154 00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:40,003 I'm a right-on leftie liberal. Are you sure? 155 00:10:40,003 --> 00:10:42,563 Seems like you can't really call yourself a leftie these days 156 00:10:42,563 --> 00:10:45,243 unless you're a disabled transgender vegan 157 00:10:45,243 --> 00:10:48,163 with a nut allergy who makes their own soap. 158 00:10:48,163 --> 00:10:50,563 Are you reading that straight off the Daily Mail website? 159 00:10:50,563 --> 00:10:52,163 Well, they're not wrong about everything. 160 00:10:52,163 --> 00:10:54,123 I'm just saying, you watch yourself. 161 00:10:54,123 --> 00:10:56,883 Nothing the lefties like more than eating their own. 162 00:10:56,883 --> 00:10:58,563 Unless they contain nuts. 163 00:11:04,323 --> 00:11:05,643 You're working too hard. 164 00:11:05,643 --> 00:11:08,163 You think it matters if we clear this crap up or not? 165 00:11:08,163 --> 00:11:09,883 They just want to give us something to do. 166 00:11:09,883 --> 00:11:13,163 I'd slow down if I were you. You might burn yourself out. 167 00:11:14,683 --> 00:11:16,243 Also, you're making me look bad. 168 00:11:19,963 --> 00:11:22,483 What are you in for? 169 00:11:22,483 --> 00:11:24,163 I stole some stuff. 170 00:11:24,163 --> 00:11:26,683 Why would someone proper-smart be stealing stuff? 171 00:11:26,683 --> 00:11:28,243 Who says I'm proper-smart? 172 00:11:28,243 --> 00:11:31,043 Well, I saw your bag and it said Oxford University. 173 00:11:31,043 --> 00:11:35,003 My mum bought that when I went to interview at Oxford University. 174 00:11:35,003 --> 00:11:36,643 Did you get in? 175 00:11:36,643 --> 00:11:39,643 Well, yeah, but I'm not proper-smart. 176 00:11:39,643 --> 00:11:43,003 I just have parents who never bought me a toy that wasn't educational. 177 00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:47,403 Oy, Miss Rekowski. Less flirting, more exerting. 178 00:11:47,403 --> 00:11:50,003 No, I'm not flirting. I'm not. 179 00:11:50,003 --> 00:11:53,043 I wasn't flirting. She weren't flirting. I was. 180 00:11:54,563 --> 00:11:55,603 Sorry. 181 00:12:01,163 --> 00:12:02,363 What's wrong? 182 00:12:18,443 --> 00:12:20,683 Hi, Gabby. Look this way. 183 00:12:20,683 --> 00:12:22,883 All right, Gabby? 184 00:12:22,883 --> 00:12:24,043 Hi, Gabby. 185 00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:25,403 Look at me, Gabby. 186 00:12:25,403 --> 00:12:26,683 Nice to see you again. 187 00:12:31,243 --> 00:12:34,243 Whoa! If I was 30 years younger... 188 00:12:34,243 --> 00:12:36,563 You'd still be twice her age. 189 00:12:36,563 --> 00:12:37,883 Thank you. 190 00:12:39,123 --> 00:12:41,283 Did you know? On Twitter, everyone's been debating 191 00:12:41,283 --> 00:12:42,443 who you were gonna wear today. 192 00:12:42,443 --> 00:12:44,643 Today is about me learning from my mistakes, 193 00:12:44,643 --> 00:12:46,523 and people are worrying about what I'm wearing? 194 00:12:46,523 --> 00:12:47,643 That is sick. 195 00:12:47,643 --> 00:12:48,883 Who are you wearing? 196 00:12:48,883 --> 00:12:50,843 It's a Stella McCartney. The Vampire's Wife. 197 00:12:50,843 --> 00:12:52,483 And shoes are Isabel Marant. 198 00:12:52,483 --> 00:12:53,563 Lovely. 199 00:12:53,563 --> 00:12:55,003 Am I supposed to know who she is? 200 00:12:55,003 --> 00:12:56,963 That's Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe. 201 00:12:56,963 --> 00:12:59,123 She was on that reality show where posh people have to give up 202 00:12:59,123 --> 00:13:00,723 their mobile phones and their assistants. 203 00:13:00,723 --> 00:13:02,123 It was called No Service. 204 00:13:02,123 --> 00:13:03,403 I don't own a TV. 205 00:13:03,403 --> 00:13:05,163 Too busy making vegan soap? 206 00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:08,003 No. Too busy reading books. You should try it. 207 00:13:08,003 --> 00:13:11,163 I read books. Yeah? Any that aren't about the SAS? 208 00:13:11,163 --> 00:13:14,443 Hi. Hi, friends. I'm Gabby. Hi. 209 00:13:14,443 --> 00:13:16,563 Hi! Hi, I'm Lady Gabby. 210 00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:19,003 My preferred pronouns are she, her and herself. 211 00:13:19,003 --> 00:13:21,643 I'm John. Bloke. 212 00:13:21,643 --> 00:13:22,963 I'm so sorry I'm late. 213 00:13:22,963 --> 00:13:24,523 I'm in charge here! 214 00:13:25,523 --> 00:13:28,363 Seriously? Sorry, that came out wrong. 215 00:13:28,363 --> 00:13:29,843 Yeah, it did come out wrong. Gabby! 216 00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,243 They can't be here. Look this way. 217 00:13:31,243 --> 00:13:36,163 You can't be here! Go! Go! Private property! Back! Scram! 218 00:13:37,803 --> 00:13:39,243 What are you wearing? 219 00:13:39,243 --> 00:13:40,923 Oh, it's Stella McCartney. 220 00:13:40,923 --> 00:13:42,963 This is a Vampire's Wife and shoes are Isabel Marant. 221 00:13:42,963 --> 00:13:43,751 Thanks for asking. 222 00:13:43,752 --> 00:13:45,763 No, I don't mean, "Ooh, what are you wearing?" 223 00:13:45,763 --> 00:13:47,683 cos I'm interested, I mean, "What are you wearing?!" 224 00:13:47,683 --> 00:13:48,883 That is not appropriate. 225 00:13:48,883 --> 00:13:50,523 Put this on. 226 00:13:52,763 --> 00:13:55,243 Do I have to? Yeah, it's not a fashion show. 227 00:13:55,243 --> 00:13:56,843 You're here because you committed a crime. 228 00:13:56,843 --> 00:13:58,563 The person who designed this committed the crime. 229 00:13:58,563 --> 00:14:01,603 I mean, someone call the fashion police. Am I right? 230 00:14:01,603 --> 00:14:03,923 No, you're not right, Michael McIntyre. 231 00:14:03,923 --> 00:14:05,963 I'm docking you two hours for being late. 232 00:14:05,963 --> 00:14:07,763 Do you want another two for being a smart-aleck? 233 00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:10,083 No. Right answer. 234 00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,723 Toilet breaks at my discretion. 235 00:14:11,723 --> 00:14:12,963 Any questions? 236 00:14:12,963 --> 00:14:14,403 Yeah, what is this? 237 00:14:14,403 --> 00:14:15,763 Hoe. 238 00:14:15,763 --> 00:14:16,963 Excuse me? 239 00:14:20,203 --> 00:14:23,243 Yo. Respect. 240 00:14:23,243 --> 00:14:24,883 What is that? 241 00:14:24,883 --> 00:14:27,843 It's a...it's a gang sign. You're not...? 242 00:14:27,843 --> 00:14:31,523 No, it's Mr Spock's Vulcan salute from Star Trek. 243 00:14:31,523 --> 00:14:33,843 I don't think so. 244 00:14:33,843 --> 00:14:34,963 Yeah, it is. 245 00:14:37,923 --> 00:14:40,243 Oh, yeah, that... What am I thinking of, then? 246 00:14:40,243 --> 00:14:41,643 What gang was you trying to rep? 247 00:14:41,643 --> 00:14:44,563 West Side, please. Dre, Tupac, Snoop, that whole crew. 248 00:14:44,563 --> 00:14:46,923 Oh, here. I got you. 249 00:14:46,923 --> 00:14:49,323 Here you go. Like that. 250 00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:52,843 Oh, yeah, yeah. Good. Maximum respect. 251 00:14:52,843 --> 00:14:55,723 Rekowski! Walk with me. 252 00:14:55,723 --> 00:14:58,843 Well, live long and prosper. 253 00:15:01,203 --> 00:15:02,643 What a nerd. 254 00:15:12,963 --> 00:15:15,843 So, your mum spoke to me. 255 00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:19,923 Said you have a scholarship... 256 00:15:19,923 --> 00:15:21,723 ..to Oxford University. 257 00:15:21,723 --> 00:15:25,443 Yeah, sorry about that. She does tell everyone. 258 00:15:25,443 --> 00:15:27,403 Must be a pretty smart doughnut. 259 00:15:27,403 --> 00:15:29,163 Don't you mean "smart cookie"? 260 00:15:29,163 --> 00:15:30,643 They both work. 261 00:15:30,643 --> 00:15:32,843 Yeah, I know all about higher education. 262 00:15:32,843 --> 00:15:34,843 I'm gonna apply to become a police officer, 263 00:15:34,843 --> 00:15:36,683 and education helps with that. 264 00:15:36,683 --> 00:15:38,963 So I'm actually studying for a degree myself. 265 00:15:38,963 --> 00:15:40,803 Oh, really, where are you studying? 266 00:15:40,803 --> 00:15:42,843 Have you heard of QuickieDegree.com? 267 00:15:42,843 --> 00:15:45,323 Yeah, I get the ads in my spam folder. 268 00:15:45,323 --> 00:15:46,763 Oh. 269 00:15:46,763 --> 00:15:50,243 Your mum said Oxford's threatening to revoke your scholarship. 270 00:15:50,243 --> 00:15:52,603 They haven't made a final decision. 271 00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:55,083 Apparently, they want you to get three As in your A-Levels 272 00:15:55,083 --> 00:15:58,163 and a letter of commendation from your supervisor. 273 00:15:59,643 --> 00:16:01,043 Guess who that is? 274 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,403 Is it you? 275 00:16:02,403 --> 00:16:04,843 As I said, you're a smart doughnut. 276 00:16:04,843 --> 00:16:06,523 Cookie. They both work. 277 00:16:06,523 --> 00:16:09,203 I'll expect you to work hard. Show remorse. 278 00:16:09,203 --> 00:16:11,963 Prove that you can learn from your mistakes. I will. 279 00:16:13,683 --> 00:16:15,283 And I need you. 280 00:16:15,283 --> 00:16:16,843 You need me? 281 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,963 To be my eyes and ears. 282 00:16:18,963 --> 00:16:21,643 Keep me posted on what's being said and done behind my back. 283 00:16:21,643 --> 00:16:23,523 I don't feel comfortable snitching. 284 00:16:23,523 --> 00:16:25,443 Oh, no, don't think of it as snitching. 285 00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,043 Think of it as collaborating. 286 00:16:27,043 --> 00:16:28,283 That sounds worse. 287 00:16:28,283 --> 00:16:29,963 Only cps it has connotations with the Nazis. 288 00:16:29,963 --> 00:16:31,283 Yeah, that might be it. 289 00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:35,883 Your future depends on whether or not I write that commendation. 290 00:16:36,803 --> 00:16:40,643 You need my help, I need yours. Quid pro quo. 291 00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:43,243 Do we have a deal? 292 00:16:44,323 --> 00:16:49,563 As I said, I can be a good guy or I can be a mean bastard. 293 00:16:49,563 --> 00:16:51,003 Your choice. 294 00:16:57,043 --> 00:16:58,763 Good girl. 295 00:17:04,683 --> 00:17:08,163 This must be a mistake, sir. Rani's not a thief. 296 00:17:08,163 --> 00:17:09,523 Tell him your news. Go on. 297 00:17:09,523 --> 00:17:11,563 Mum, he doesn't care. Tell him. 298 00:17:11,563 --> 00:17:14,443 I got accepted into Oxford University. 299 00:17:14,443 --> 00:17:17,283 With a full scholarship. Why do you always leave that out? 300 00:17:17,283 --> 00:17:20,723 So, you see, sir, my daughter is a genius, not a thief. 301 00:17:26,523 --> 00:17:27,883 What is going on? 302 00:17:29,963 --> 00:17:33,563 Is this the first time you've taken something without paying, Rani? 303 00:17:33,563 --> 00:17:35,123 Yes. 304 00:17:50,723 --> 00:17:52,523 How many of these do you want to watch? 305 00:17:53,523 --> 00:17:54,963 How many are there? 306 00:18:11,843 --> 00:18:15,323 All the hard work you've done just thrown away. For what? 307 00:18:15,323 --> 00:18:18,683 Some sequined purses and miniskirts? 308 00:18:22,403 --> 00:18:24,043 It's so humiliating. 309 00:18:25,043 --> 00:18:27,203 Jerzy, are you going to say anything? 310 00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:32,963 If you lie, cheat or steal again... 311 00:18:35,003 --> 00:18:37,123 ..there is no place for you in this family. 312 00:18:39,323 --> 00:18:40,563 Jerzy, I didn't mean... 313 00:18:40,563 --> 00:18:41,803 You wanted me to talk, I'm talking. 314 00:18:43,603 --> 00:18:47,683 If you get so much as a parking ticket from this moment on, 315 00:18:47,683 --> 00:18:49,203 you are dead to us. 316 00:18:50,683 --> 00:18:51,963 Rekowski! 317 00:18:51,963 --> 00:18:53,243 We have to go in now. 318 00:18:54,283 --> 00:18:55,363 Come on. 319 00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,483 Hey, can you take my picture for Instagram? 320 00:19:17,483 --> 00:19:19,363 What did your last servant die of? 321 00:19:20,563 --> 00:19:22,003 I think it was just old age. 322 00:19:22,003 --> 00:19:23,923 You have actual servants? 323 00:19:23,923 --> 00:19:26,723 Daddy does, yeah, but you can't call them servants any more. 324 00:19:26,723 --> 00:19:30,243 They prefer "staff". Will you take my picture, please? 325 00:19:30,243 --> 00:19:32,763 Why do you want a picture of this dump? For my followers. 326 00:19:32,763 --> 00:19:35,043 You have followers? What, like Jesus? 327 00:19:35,043 --> 00:19:37,563 Oh, no, I'm not like Jesus. He only had 12. 328 00:19:37,563 --> 00:19:39,363 I've got 1.2 million. 329 00:19:39,363 --> 00:19:42,003 No, look, I do understand what you're saying. 330 00:19:42,003 --> 00:19:44,923 And we've been banking with you since 1980. 331 00:19:44,923 --> 00:19:46,563 It's like a couple of little hiccups, 332 00:19:46,563 --> 00:19:49,163 and "Thank you for 40 years of business, now piss off." 333 00:19:49,163 --> 00:19:50,563 Oy! No phones. 334 00:19:50,563 --> 00:19:51,843 Yes, one second, please. 335 00:19:51,843 --> 00:19:54,083 I'm just trying to keep a roof over my kid's heads. 336 00:19:54,083 --> 00:19:56,883 I'm meeting with the Chinese today and I will make them sign. 337 00:19:56,883 --> 00:19:58,963 Give me your phone. Just go away. How about that? 338 00:19:58,963 --> 00:20:01,763 OK? I need two weeks for the money to come through. 339 00:20:01,763 --> 00:20:03,923 The Chinese will sign. The Chinese will sign. 340 00:20:03,923 --> 00:20:06,003 Thank you very much indeed. Three, two, one. There you go. 341 00:20:06,003 --> 00:20:08,283 - Thank you so much. - No more calls. You're here to work. 342 00:20:08,283 --> 00:20:10,563 That was work! OK? 343 00:20:10,563 --> 00:20:12,443 This is detention. 344 00:20:15,403 --> 00:20:17,923 Have you ever have Chinese wine? What? 345 00:20:17,923 --> 00:20:21,963 If you do business with the Chinese, they'll want to drink with you. 346 00:20:21,963 --> 00:20:26,163 Makes them feel they can trust you. Chinese call it guanxi. 347 00:20:26,163 --> 00:20:28,403 Well, thank you for that advice, Confucius. 348 00:20:28,403 --> 00:20:30,403 Do you want to get back to shovelling shit? 349 00:20:30,403 --> 00:20:33,483 Be warned, though, if they bring out the ol' Chinese wine 350 00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,763 cos that neck oil is lethal. 351 00:20:35,763 --> 00:20:39,843 When I was in Beijing, I knew a tiny Chinaman who'd drink me 352 00:20:39,843 --> 00:20:41,083 under the table. 353 00:20:41,083 --> 00:20:43,683 We don't say "Chinaman" nowadays. 354 00:20:43,683 --> 00:20:45,843 The political correctness brigade have ruled 355 00:20:45,843 --> 00:20:47,403 you can't say Chinaman any more. 356 00:20:47,403 --> 00:20:49,723 You can still say Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman, though, 357 00:20:49,723 --> 00:20:51,083 so at least our jokes are safe. 358 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,563 Oh, bless. 359 00:20:52,563 --> 00:20:55,643 I know you white blokes have had it good since the Bronze Age 360 00:20:55,643 --> 00:20:57,883 and the last couple of years might have been a bit confusing, 361 00:20:57,883 --> 00:21:01,203 but if you find yourself thinking, "Is this offensive?" 362 00:21:01,203 --> 00:21:04,323 just assume that it is and go about your business. 363 00:21:04,323 --> 00:21:07,243 Oy! Are you lot working over there or gassing? 364 00:21:07,243 --> 00:21:12,003 We're working, boss! Harder than a prostitute with two mattresses. 365 00:21:24,203 --> 00:21:25,643 I think it's too risky. 366 00:21:25,643 --> 00:21:26,963 Me too. 367 00:21:28,043 --> 00:21:30,563 No-one asked your opinion, bruv. 368 00:21:30,563 --> 00:21:33,483 Yeah, it's risky, but do we got another play? 369 00:21:33,483 --> 00:21:36,043 Say the word and I'll do it right now. 370 00:21:36,043 --> 00:21:39,123 No, no, not yet. We need more leverage first. 371 00:21:45,843 --> 00:21:47,843 I went to this epic music festival in Goa 372 00:21:47,843 --> 00:21:50,563 called the Festival of Peace and Light. Have you been? 373 00:21:50,563 --> 00:21:52,083 No. 374 00:21:52,083 --> 00:21:53,803 Just...fantastic. 375 00:21:57,603 --> 00:21:59,963 Mm, want some? 376 00:21:59,963 --> 00:22:01,283 No, no, no. 377 00:22:02,683 --> 00:22:05,323 Hey, bruv. You want some piff? It's high grade. 378 00:22:05,323 --> 00:22:08,003 Thanks, but I'm good for piff. 379 00:22:08,003 --> 00:22:10,563 The Festival of Peace and Light actually inspired me 380 00:22:10,563 --> 00:22:12,963 to organise a music festival of my own. 381 00:22:12,963 --> 00:22:14,683 Like Glastonbury? 382 00:22:14,683 --> 00:22:16,243 Less muddy, more magical. 383 00:22:16,243 --> 00:22:19,083 So, there's gonna be luxury yurts, regular yurts, slam poetry, 384 00:22:19,083 --> 00:22:22,723 yoga, Ed Sheeran. I mean, everything you've ever wanted, right? 385 00:22:22,723 --> 00:22:25,683 You know me so well. 386 00:22:25,683 --> 00:22:27,363 You sure you don't want some piff? 387 00:22:27,363 --> 00:22:28,843 All right, why not? 388 00:22:30,843 --> 00:22:33,003 Somewhere around here. Exactly. Hey! 389 00:22:33,003 --> 00:22:35,083 Put that out, will ya? 390 00:22:35,083 --> 00:22:37,923 Not getting extra hours cos of your sort. Your sort? 391 00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:41,203 Yeah, the sort that would rather stand there smoking a joint or 392 00:22:41,203 --> 00:22:44,923 stealing, dealing drugs or whatever than just doing a decent days' work. 393 00:22:44,923 --> 00:22:47,803 Oh, stealing, dealing drugs. Why you saying that? Cos he's black? 394 00:22:47,803 --> 00:22:49,003 Because he's here. 395 00:22:49,003 --> 00:22:50,363 So are you, mate. 396 00:22:50,363 --> 00:22:53,243 Yeah, because of his sort. Come here, give me the joint. 397 00:22:53,243 --> 00:22:54,403 What? What are you doing? 398 00:22:54,403 --> 00:22:56,763 Just give me the joint. Stop it. Stop! 399 00:22:56,763 --> 00:23:00,203 That's enough! What are you doing?! 400 00:23:00,203 --> 00:23:03,963 All right, stop... Stop it! 401 00:23:05,563 --> 00:23:07,963 An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. 402 00:23:09,323 --> 00:23:12,803 Cut it out! Right now! 403 00:23:24,683 --> 00:23:26,203 Who's this belong to? 404 00:23:26,203 --> 00:23:27,763 It's his. No, it ain't. 405 00:23:27,763 --> 00:23:31,923 Somebody owns up or everyone gets five more hours. 406 00:23:31,923 --> 00:23:35,083 You can't do that. He can do that. Mr Wilder's a senior officer. 407 00:23:35,083 --> 00:23:36,163 Whose is it? 408 00:23:36,163 --> 00:23:38,563 I've just told you whose it is. It's his. 409 00:23:38,563 --> 00:23:40,283 Ask her, she knows. 410 00:23:40,283 --> 00:23:42,683 If you know something, speak up. 411 00:23:53,163 --> 00:23:55,243 We... It's mine. 412 00:24:00,683 --> 00:24:02,603 No, it isn't. It's mine. 413 00:24:03,883 --> 00:24:05,883 Five more hours for both of you. 414 00:24:05,883 --> 00:24:07,523 Why is he getting five more hours? 415 00:24:07,523 --> 00:24:08,803 For lying. 416 00:24:08,803 --> 00:24:10,563 Do you want five more hours for sticking your nose in? 417 00:24:10,563 --> 00:24:13,603 Yeah. You should give me five more for this as well. 418 00:24:15,003 --> 00:24:19,243 You all seem to have forgotten that you're all here instead of jail. 419 00:24:20,283 --> 00:24:22,243 So, try not to forget this. 420 00:24:22,243 --> 00:24:26,563 Any of you lot walk, talk or think out of line, 421 00:24:26,563 --> 00:24:28,683 I will make sure that all of you 422 00:24:28,683 --> 00:24:31,643 spend the rest of your hours behind bars. 423 00:24:33,203 --> 00:24:34,563 Understood? 424 00:24:34,563 --> 00:24:36,563 Yes. 425 00:24:40,043 --> 00:24:42,803 All right, pack it up people. We'll do it all again tomorrow. 426 00:24:42,803 --> 00:24:46,043 Apart from the fighting. And the ganja. 427 00:24:48,723 --> 00:24:50,163 Sir? 428 00:24:50,163 --> 00:24:51,963 I did actually have things under control. 429 00:24:51,963 --> 00:24:55,043 In what universe is pot-smoking junkies wrestling 430 00:24:55,043 --> 00:24:57,163 "having things under control"? 431 00:25:07,163 --> 00:25:08,683 Thank you. 432 00:26:18,683 --> 00:26:20,003 Good luck, Daddy. 433 00:26:20,003 --> 00:26:22,883 Mum says if the meeting goes well, we can have pizza! 434 00:26:22,883 --> 00:26:25,403 I did say that, yes. OK, good luck, sweetheart. 435 00:26:25,403 --> 00:26:26,723 We love you so much. 436 00:26:37,203 --> 00:26:39,843 Oh, this is sick! 437 00:26:39,843 --> 00:26:42,523 Es. Es, take that off. Come on, let's go. 438 00:26:42,523 --> 00:26:46,643 Yo, check it out. Virtual reality. 439 00:26:46,643 --> 00:26:49,363 She's walking around a club in Miami right now. 440 00:26:49,363 --> 00:26:50,643 Come on, Es. Let's go. 441 00:26:53,363 --> 00:26:54,923 Shit, man. 442 00:26:54,923 --> 00:26:56,403 Home, now. 443 00:26:56,403 --> 00:26:57,643 You seem tense, blud. 444 00:26:57,643 --> 00:27:01,523 They do virtual porn - you should have a tug, let off some steam. 445 00:27:05,283 --> 00:27:06,523 Come on, let's go home. 446 00:27:06,523 --> 00:27:08,763 Here, Es. 447 00:27:08,763 --> 00:27:11,043 Take this 50. Buy yourself something nice. 448 00:27:11,043 --> 00:27:12,563 She don't want it. 449 00:27:12,563 --> 00:27:13,763 Yeah, I do. It's free money. 450 00:27:13,763 --> 00:27:15,723 No, it's not. Let's go. 451 00:27:18,403 --> 00:27:20,563 Es, I'll hold if for you, yeah? Yeah! 452 00:27:21,563 --> 00:27:23,203 Why do I have to keep telling you all the time? 453 00:27:23,203 --> 00:27:24,963 Stop hanging with these people. 454 00:27:24,963 --> 00:27:27,043 Come on. Why do I have to keep... 455 00:27:28,403 --> 00:27:29,883 And, uh, we're very proud 456 00:27:29,883 --> 00:27:32,563 of the fact that, from those humble beginnings, 457 00:27:32,563 --> 00:27:37,923 we now find ourselves standing here in this 50,000 square foot space. 458 00:27:39,523 --> 00:27:42,363 But let's, uh, let's, let's talk more about, uh, 459 00:27:42,363 --> 00:27:45,483 the family side of the business and, uh... 460 00:27:48,763 --> 00:27:52,443 ..where we've come from and really where we intend to go. 461 00:27:53,643 --> 00:27:56,403 You can really see the...the year-on-year growth, 462 00:27:56,403 --> 00:27:59,363 and it's this growth that will mark a significant return 463 00:27:59,363 --> 00:28:01,043 on your investment. 464 00:28:03,843 --> 00:28:07,243 And make a partnership with Halloran and Son 465 00:28:07,243 --> 00:28:09,523 the only sensible choice. 466 00:28:11,603 --> 00:28:12,963 Xie xie. 467 00:28:14,683 --> 00:28:16,243 Zhao! 468 00:28:19,883 --> 00:28:22,203 I'm very sorry. Please excuse my daughter. 469 00:28:24,323 --> 00:28:28,483 She loves all things British - One Direction, Little Mix, 470 00:28:28,483 --> 00:28:29,763 Brooklyn Beckham... 471 00:28:29,763 --> 00:28:33,443 Well, um, on behalf of Britain, I can only apologise. 472 00:28:35,603 --> 00:28:37,483 Yes. 473 00:28:43,923 --> 00:28:46,963 Our company has built an impeccable reputation 474 00:28:46,963 --> 00:28:48,243 for integrity and honesty. 475 00:28:48,243 --> 00:28:50,283 So, I hope this doesn't offend you, 476 00:28:50,283 --> 00:28:53,963 but is there anything that we should know about you or your father 477 00:28:53,963 --> 00:28:56,363 that could bring our company into disrepute? 478 00:29:00,283 --> 00:29:01,523 There is not. 479 00:29:02,803 --> 00:29:04,083 Meiyou. 480 00:29:06,323 --> 00:29:09,563 I'm sure you'd agree that business is based on trust. 481 00:29:11,923 --> 00:29:14,083 Why should we entrust our money to you? 482 00:29:17,003 --> 00:29:18,243 Um... 483 00:29:21,123 --> 00:29:23,843 Why should, why... Yes, um... 484 00:29:25,163 --> 00:29:26,563 Why? 485 00:29:31,163 --> 00:29:33,083 You, uh, 486 00:29:33,083 --> 00:29:35,043 you keep your family close. 487 00:29:35,043 --> 00:29:37,763 Maybe one day when you retire, your daughter there 488 00:29:37,763 --> 00:29:39,523 will take the company reins, 489 00:29:39,523 --> 00:29:41,803 if she can stay off her phone long enough. 490 00:29:47,523 --> 00:29:52,003 My, uh, my father built this company from nothing. 491 00:29:52,003 --> 00:29:53,803 Worked every hour God gave. 492 00:29:53,803 --> 00:29:56,963 Never, never bellyached, never asked for a...a hand-out... 493 00:29:58,163 --> 00:30:02,323 On the day he retired, he had four bidders begging to buy. 494 00:30:02,323 --> 00:30:03,763 But he didn't sell. 495 00:30:05,243 --> 00:30:07,843 He handed the business to me. 496 00:30:07,843 --> 00:30:11,203 And, uh, I asked him, I said, uh, you know, why? 497 00:30:11,203 --> 00:30:12,523 Why me? 498 00:30:12,523 --> 00:30:15,003 And, um, he told me, he said, 499 00:30:15,003 --> 00:30:18,123 "Trust, son, is the key to any relationship, 500 00:30:18,123 --> 00:30:20,003 "business or otherwise. 501 00:30:20,003 --> 00:30:24,363 "And who can you trust if you can't trust family?" 502 00:30:24,363 --> 00:30:27,723 This is a family business, Chairman Yang. 503 00:30:27,723 --> 00:30:31,683 You place your trust in me, and you become part of that family. 504 00:30:31,683 --> 00:30:35,243 And, sir, I never let my family down. 505 00:30:46,763 --> 00:30:48,163 Mr Halloran, 506 00:30:48,163 --> 00:30:50,243 if you prepare the contracts for review, 507 00:30:50,243 --> 00:30:51,763 we'd like to sign tomorrow. 508 00:30:53,683 --> 00:30:56,843 That's, uh, that's great. That's great. 509 00:30:58,643 --> 00:31:01,683 Right, well, I don't know about you, but, uh, 510 00:31:01,683 --> 00:31:05,763 I always find closing deals very, very thirsty work. 511 00:31:05,763 --> 00:31:08,123 So, uh, please, grab...grab a glass and, uh... 512 00:31:11,803 --> 00:31:12,843 Yeah. 513 00:31:20,923 --> 00:31:22,243 I met a girl today. 514 00:31:22,243 --> 00:31:23,723 Player. 515 00:31:23,723 --> 00:31:25,483 I want you to talk to her about school. 516 00:31:31,603 --> 00:31:33,123 I know you're mad at me. 517 00:31:34,323 --> 00:31:36,883 But why have you got to hang out with them when I told you not to? 518 00:31:39,563 --> 00:31:43,123 This is our family. Yeah? You and me. 519 00:31:43,123 --> 00:31:44,723 Not them. 520 00:31:44,723 --> 00:31:47,083 You're not my family. You're a joke. 521 00:31:47,083 --> 00:31:49,803 I'm your brother. Show some respect. 522 00:31:49,803 --> 00:31:51,043 Respect what? 523 00:31:51,043 --> 00:31:53,243 They're down there getting in a Range Rover. 524 00:31:53,243 --> 00:31:56,203 You're up here, unpeggin' your little sister's underwear. 525 00:32:01,363 --> 00:32:03,243 What were the other people like? 526 00:32:04,363 --> 00:32:05,603 Fine. 527 00:32:07,283 --> 00:32:09,483 Did you do everything you were told? 528 00:32:11,163 --> 00:32:12,323 Yeah. 529 00:32:16,083 --> 00:32:18,443 Is this our fault? 530 00:32:18,443 --> 00:32:20,043 Did we do something? 531 00:32:20,043 --> 00:32:21,243 No. 532 00:32:25,003 --> 00:32:28,883 We were too soft on you. We should've set more boundaries. 533 00:32:28,883 --> 00:32:32,083 We should never have taken the parental control off Netflix. 534 00:32:32,083 --> 00:32:33,603 Mum... 535 00:32:33,603 --> 00:32:36,723 Mum, it's not your fault. 536 00:32:39,483 --> 00:32:42,403 You promise me, whatever this was about, 537 00:32:42,403 --> 00:32:44,203 this is the end of it. 538 00:32:46,483 --> 00:32:48,003 Promise. 539 00:32:58,243 --> 00:32:59,483 Margie. 540 00:32:59,483 --> 00:33:01,443 Put it down. I'd like to help. 541 00:33:02,483 --> 00:33:04,203 I don't need your help. Put that down. 542 00:33:04,203 --> 00:33:06,163 Put it down. 543 00:33:09,003 --> 00:33:12,803 While I was inside, I had time to think about all the people 544 00:33:12,803 --> 00:33:14,723 I effed around in my day. 545 00:33:14,723 --> 00:33:16,763 You're top of the list, Margie. 546 00:33:18,283 --> 00:33:19,523 I want to make that right. 547 00:33:19,523 --> 00:33:21,163 Oh, yeah? 548 00:33:21,163 --> 00:33:22,203 On my life. 549 00:33:22,203 --> 00:33:24,523 Don't promise on your life. Don't you dare. 550 00:33:24,523 --> 00:33:26,923 You have fooled me 10,000 times, not again. 551 00:33:26,923 --> 00:33:29,323 I said that you could stay until the tag comes off. 552 00:33:29,323 --> 00:33:32,283 After that I don't want you in my or my kids' lives a second longer. 553 00:33:32,283 --> 00:33:33,923 Is that clear? 554 00:33:35,923 --> 00:33:37,003 Crystal. 555 00:33:56,083 --> 00:34:00,003 Keep it down. Fucking human pipe cleaner. 556 00:34:00,003 --> 00:34:01,923 Sorry. 557 00:34:01,923 --> 00:34:03,363 You OK? 558 00:34:03,363 --> 00:34:05,123 Chinese wine. 559 00:34:05,123 --> 00:34:08,443 Hoo! I told you. Lethal. Yeah. 560 00:34:08,443 --> 00:34:12,323 Oh, Diane, I raised my voice to you the other day. 561 00:34:12,323 --> 00:34:15,723 That was completely unacceptable. And I-I would like to apologise. 562 00:34:15,723 --> 00:34:16,843 Accepted. 563 00:34:16,843 --> 00:34:19,683 Yeah, in other news, I've got to be somewhere by four today 564 00:34:19,683 --> 00:34:21,443 to close a very important business deal. 565 00:34:21,443 --> 00:34:24,483 I was just wondering if you could let me go just a little bit early. 566 00:34:24,483 --> 00:34:26,203 We finish at 3.30. 567 00:34:26,203 --> 00:34:28,643 I'm hoping you could make an exception for me today, OK? 568 00:34:28,643 --> 00:34:30,803 Because I...I cannot be late for this. 569 00:34:30,803 --> 00:34:34,323 Being late is a serious offence in Chinese business. 570 00:34:35,483 --> 00:34:36,883 So... 571 00:34:36,883 --> 00:34:39,043 Everyone finishes at 3.30! 572 00:34:39,043 --> 00:34:41,283 Ah, you... For Christ's sake, woman! 573 00:34:41,283 --> 00:34:43,523 I'm just trying to keep my business from going under, 574 00:34:43,523 --> 00:34:46,003 but no, let's...let's sweep some old CDs. 575 00:34:49,843 --> 00:34:54,403 So...what's your first impressions of our little gang? 576 00:34:57,643 --> 00:34:59,243 Everyone's a type. 577 00:34:59,243 --> 00:35:00,763 A type? 578 00:35:00,763 --> 00:35:04,803 Um, you've got your right-wing blowhard, 579 00:35:04,803 --> 00:35:06,683 left-wing militant, 580 00:35:06,683 --> 00:35:08,723 celebutante, 581 00:35:08,723 --> 00:35:11,083 shifty old-timer, 582 00:35:11,083 --> 00:35:12,883 and whatever the hell he is. 583 00:35:13,923 --> 00:35:16,923 OK. What type am I? 584 00:35:16,923 --> 00:35:19,163 The bad boy. 585 00:35:19,163 --> 00:35:20,483 Why? 586 00:35:20,483 --> 00:35:22,843 What, is it cos I've got all these tats? 587 00:35:22,843 --> 00:35:24,883 Yeah, tattoos aren't that rebellious any more. 588 00:35:24,883 --> 00:35:26,403 You know who has tattoos? 589 00:35:26,403 --> 00:35:27,683 Dame Judi Dench. 590 00:35:27,683 --> 00:35:30,523 Well, then, Dame Judi Dench is a straight up OG like me. 591 00:35:32,723 --> 00:35:33,923 What type are you? 592 00:35:35,403 --> 00:35:36,963 Studious Asian good girl. 593 00:35:36,963 --> 00:35:40,683 Mm. So, why does the studious Asian good girl 594 00:35:40,683 --> 00:35:42,883 shoplift? 595 00:35:42,883 --> 00:35:45,283 Probably because my dad never gave me 596 00:35:45,283 --> 00:35:48,243 the freedom to go to parties or hang out in a bus shelter with friends. 597 00:35:48,243 --> 00:35:50,803 Yeah, I've done that. It's not as incredible as it sounds. 598 00:35:50,803 --> 00:35:54,923 To be fair to my dad, he grew up in Poland under communism. 599 00:35:54,923 --> 00:35:58,323 So, his idea of freedom is drinking a can of Pepsi. 600 00:36:01,723 --> 00:36:03,123 Would you do me a favour? 601 00:36:03,123 --> 00:36:04,643 What kind of favour? 602 00:36:04,643 --> 00:36:06,563 My sister's clever, like you. 603 00:36:06,563 --> 00:36:10,403 Well, she's got her GCSEs soon, and I just can't make her study. 604 00:36:11,963 --> 00:36:14,283 Would you chat to her? 605 00:36:15,443 --> 00:36:17,483 I mean, I'm not sure what I'd say. 606 00:36:18,963 --> 00:36:20,483 But if you think it would help... 607 00:36:20,483 --> 00:36:22,003 Yeah. OK. 608 00:36:22,003 --> 00:36:24,363 Thank you. I really appreciate it. 609 00:36:43,323 --> 00:36:44,483 You OK? 610 00:36:46,283 --> 00:36:48,723 Yeah, um, uh, just gimme a second. 611 00:36:54,203 --> 00:36:57,243 I just found a deceased animal, and I can't tell if it's over 10k. 612 00:36:57,243 --> 00:36:59,083 What we talking? We're talking a dead badger. 613 00:36:59,083 --> 00:37:01,043 You'd better show me. Roger that. 614 00:37:01,043 --> 00:37:02,483 Or should it be "bodger that"? 615 00:37:02,483 --> 00:37:04,043 What? Bodger and badger? 616 00:37:21,803 --> 00:37:23,683 What's my sister doing here? 617 00:37:23,683 --> 00:37:26,403 Some men from London are running their lines into ends. 618 00:37:26,403 --> 00:37:28,523 She asked to help roll up on them. 619 00:37:28,523 --> 00:37:30,043 Well, that ain't happening. 620 00:37:30,043 --> 00:37:32,403 She says she wants to put in work, innit? 621 00:37:32,403 --> 00:37:37,003 Think about it, yeah? If I say no, that ain't woke. 622 00:37:37,003 --> 00:37:39,123 In this post-MeToo era, 623 00:37:39,123 --> 00:37:42,163 that kind of blatant sexism can get you cancelled. 624 00:37:42,163 --> 00:37:45,163 My sister ain't puttin' in work for you. 625 00:37:45,163 --> 00:37:46,843 Then who is? 626 00:37:48,363 --> 00:37:51,163 Oh, shit, man. I've paid my debts. 627 00:37:51,163 --> 00:37:53,283 I ain't asking permission, I'm telling you - 628 00:37:53,283 --> 00:37:54,803 someone's doin' dirt tonight, 629 00:37:54,803 --> 00:37:56,923 And if it ain't you, it's your little sister. 630 00:38:01,163 --> 00:38:02,963 What do you want me to do? 631 00:38:02,963 --> 00:38:05,083 They're sat in a trap house in Lawrence Hill. 632 00:38:05,083 --> 00:38:08,123 They've got a line with fiends callin' from Bristol to Penzance. 633 00:38:08,123 --> 00:38:09,523 I need that phone. 634 00:38:09,523 --> 00:38:11,883 Oh, cos they're just gonna hand over the line because I ask nicely? 635 00:38:11,883 --> 00:38:14,883 Nah. That's why you need this. 636 00:38:16,403 --> 00:38:17,763 Put that away. 637 00:38:17,763 --> 00:38:20,643 Shut up, man. Don't act like you ain't never seen a strap before. 638 00:38:22,203 --> 00:38:24,603 Where's the spot? 639 00:38:24,603 --> 00:38:26,523 32 Rossmore Avenue. 640 00:38:27,563 --> 00:38:31,683 Look, if I do this for you, Esme don't hang with you no more. 641 00:38:31,683 --> 00:38:34,083 And I ain't asking you, I'm telling you. 642 00:39:00,243 --> 00:39:01,883 Yeah, we'll call in the council. 643 00:39:15,723 --> 00:39:20,003 Hi, Clive, it's Diane. Yeah, another code blue. Fire up the incinerator. 644 00:39:20,003 --> 00:39:21,723 We're talking dead badger. 645 00:39:27,043 --> 00:39:30,523 All right, roger that. Or should that be "bodger that"? 646 00:39:31,723 --> 00:39:33,523 I know, yeah. I just thought of it now. 647 00:39:34,563 --> 00:39:36,283 All right, thanks, Clive, bye-bye. 648 00:39:36,283 --> 00:39:37,523 You stole my joke. 649 00:39:37,523 --> 00:39:39,923 Do you want five more hours?! No. 650 00:39:41,803 --> 00:39:44,563 Home time. Tools away. 651 00:39:48,403 --> 00:39:50,003 Great. Yeah. 652 00:39:53,123 --> 00:39:55,963 All right, come on, let's pick up the pace, people. 653 00:39:55,963 --> 00:39:58,563 Oy! You don't give the orders. 654 00:39:58,563 --> 00:40:01,003 OK, come on, let's pick up the pace, people! 655 00:40:03,483 --> 00:40:05,083 Everyone, freeze! 656 00:40:07,643 --> 00:40:09,643 Someone better explain... 657 00:40:10,683 --> 00:40:12,283 ..about the gun. 658 00:40:16,243 --> 00:40:18,643 A heat gun is missing. 659 00:40:18,643 --> 00:40:20,563 Empty your pockets. 660 00:40:20,563 --> 00:40:21,963 Open your bags. 661 00:40:21,963 --> 00:40:23,243 I'm conducting a search. 662 00:40:24,203 --> 00:40:25,483 Open your bag. 663 00:40:28,203 --> 00:40:31,843 Files, headphones... 664 00:40:31,843 --> 00:40:35,163 She Gone - Coping With Divorce. 665 00:40:35,163 --> 00:40:38,123 Oh, I'm so sorry. I just broke up with someone, too. 666 00:40:38,123 --> 00:40:39,163 How long has it been? 667 00:40:39,163 --> 00:40:40,883 Since Pancake Day last year. 668 00:40:40,883 --> 00:40:44,443 She sent me out to get a Jif lemon, and when I came back, she was gone. 669 00:40:45,603 --> 00:40:48,603 People, let's not get side-tracked by Greg's failed marriage. 670 00:40:48,603 --> 00:40:51,363 A heat gun is missing. This is serious. 671 00:40:51,363 --> 00:40:53,723 I'll buy you a new one. OK? Can we please just go? 672 00:41:11,603 --> 00:41:13,683 Is that yours too? 673 00:41:13,683 --> 00:41:15,323 - That one's his. - No, it ain't. 674 00:41:15,323 --> 00:41:16,803 What, you're a liar and a thief? 675 00:41:16,803 --> 00:41:19,763 Oh, his sort, must be the thief. 676 00:41:19,763 --> 00:41:22,483 You do know not every coloured person is a living saint? 677 00:41:22,483 --> 00:41:25,763 We don't say coloured person. We say person of colour. 678 00:41:25,763 --> 00:41:28,123 I'll give you £1,000 if you can tell me the difference. 679 00:41:28,123 --> 00:41:30,603 Why don't you just ask people how they'd like to be described? 680 00:41:30,603 --> 00:41:34,323 For instance, would you like to be known as caveman or dinosaur? 681 00:41:34,323 --> 00:41:35,843 Enough! 682 00:41:35,843 --> 00:41:37,323 Pass it here. 683 00:41:46,963 --> 00:41:48,283 Is this your bag? 684 00:41:48,283 --> 00:41:49,883 Never seen it before. 685 00:41:49,883 --> 00:41:51,843 That's bullocks! I've seen him with it. 686 00:41:51,843 --> 00:41:53,323 So has she. 687 00:41:53,323 --> 00:41:54,723 Is that true? 688 00:41:56,323 --> 00:41:57,483 Three words. 689 00:41:57,483 --> 00:42:01,003 Quid pro quo. Is this his bag? 690 00:42:06,403 --> 00:42:07,643 Yeah. 691 00:42:09,083 --> 00:42:10,323 Thank you. 692 00:42:39,043 --> 00:42:40,683 Everyone on the bus. 693 00:42:40,683 --> 00:42:42,683 Hallelujah. Thank you so much, Diane, 694 00:42:42,683 --> 00:42:44,563 for those five minutes we're never getting back. 695 00:42:50,443 --> 00:42:52,723 Snitches get stitches. 696 00:42:52,723 --> 00:42:54,043 All right, leave her alone. 697 00:42:54,043 --> 00:42:55,963 There's a code. What's the code? 698 00:42:55,963 --> 00:42:57,323 No snitching! 699 00:42:57,323 --> 00:43:01,203 Ha! Yeah, the noble criminal code, huh? 700 00:43:01,203 --> 00:43:05,043 We can rob, steal and murder, but, uh, telling on one another, 701 00:43:05,043 --> 00:43:06,523 that's...that's where we draw the line. 702 00:43:06,523 --> 00:43:08,923 We're supposed to stick together. 703 00:43:08,923 --> 00:43:10,403 There's no "we" here. 704 00:43:29,163 --> 00:43:30,843 Uh-bup-bup... 705 00:43:42,923 --> 00:43:45,803 Empty out your pockets. Bags go through the machine. 706 00:43:45,803 --> 00:43:47,363 You've got to be kidding me! 707 00:43:49,403 --> 00:43:51,003 I need to speak to you. 708 00:43:51,003 --> 00:43:52,363 I've got somewhere to be. 709 00:43:52,363 --> 00:43:53,923 But I really need to speak to you. 710 00:43:58,963 --> 00:44:00,163 Rani! 711 00:44:03,363 --> 00:44:05,443 Oh, come on! 712 00:44:05,443 --> 00:44:06,843 Belt off, please. 713 00:44:10,083 --> 00:44:11,603 Rekowski. 714 00:44:12,803 --> 00:44:14,483 Go home. This is not a Youth Club. 715 00:44:14,483 --> 00:44:16,483 Uh, we were...we were just talking about... 716 00:44:16,483 --> 00:44:19,763 I'm sure you'll see her again soon. Go on, Valentino. Off you go. 717 00:44:22,923 --> 00:44:24,563 This'll surprise you, 718 00:44:24,563 --> 00:44:26,203 but when I was your age... 719 00:44:27,803 --> 00:44:29,723 ..I was unpopular too. 720 00:44:29,723 --> 00:44:31,923 Yeah, that is a shock. 721 00:44:31,923 --> 00:44:33,323 I heard the talk. 722 00:44:33,323 --> 00:44:36,763 You'll always get grief for doing the right thing. So, ignore 'em. 723 00:44:36,763 --> 00:44:38,603 They're not your friends. 724 00:44:38,603 --> 00:44:41,123 The only friend you have around here is me. 725 00:44:41,123 --> 00:44:45,763 And you did good today, OK? It's going in your report. 726 00:44:45,763 --> 00:44:47,443 Feel better? 727 00:44:50,203 --> 00:44:51,523 What's going on here? 728 00:44:51,523 --> 00:44:55,163 Oh, a heat gun has gone missing, sir. I'm investigating. 729 00:44:55,163 --> 00:44:56,643 Investigating? 730 00:44:56,643 --> 00:44:59,163 Well, good luck with that, Columbo. 731 00:45:03,683 --> 00:45:05,683 Rekowski, through the machine. 732 00:45:08,003 --> 00:45:09,443 Excuse me. 733 00:45:11,243 --> 00:45:13,243 Less gawking, more walking. 734 00:45:17,083 --> 00:45:18,243 Anything? 735 00:45:19,723 --> 00:45:22,003 What are you doing? You don't have to take your shoes off. 736 00:45:22,003 --> 00:45:23,483 It's not the bloody airport. 737 00:45:23,483 --> 00:45:25,563 Looks like an airport, doesn't it? 738 00:45:25,563 --> 00:45:28,043 With the metal detector and the... 739 00:45:28,043 --> 00:45:29,123 Well, it isn't. 740 00:45:35,563 --> 00:45:37,923 All right, let's go. It looks like an airport. 741 00:45:39,923 --> 00:45:41,123 Whoa, whoa! 742 00:45:41,123 --> 00:45:43,403 Step back! Step back! Come back through, please, sir. 743 00:45:43,403 --> 00:45:45,363 I need to conduct a thorough search. 744 00:45:53,403 --> 00:45:54,803 Is that allowed? 745 00:45:56,203 --> 00:45:57,843 Well, that's not mine. 746 00:45:57,843 --> 00:46:00,443 No, it isn't. Property of Probation Service. 747 00:46:00,443 --> 00:46:01,723 Nothing gets past me. 748 00:46:01,723 --> 00:46:03,563 I've caught the thief, sir. I'm not a thief. 749 00:46:03,563 --> 00:46:06,043 If you'll pass me Her Majesty's bracelets, I'll cuff him. 750 00:46:06,043 --> 00:46:09,163 Cuff me? Right, where's the heat gun? Is it still on your person? 751 00:46:09,163 --> 00:46:11,483 I'm gonna need some rubber gloves as well! 752 00:46:11,483 --> 00:46:12,803 No, you're not. Walk very slowly. 753 00:46:12,803 --> 00:46:15,363 You're not going to need any gloves. We're not in Guantanamo Bay. 754 00:46:15,363 --> 00:46:17,523 Anything could slip out en route. Come on. 755 00:46:21,403 --> 00:46:22,843 Um... 756 00:46:24,323 --> 00:46:27,163 That, uh, boy asked if I'd read his sister's course work. 757 00:46:27,163 --> 00:46:28,323 Can I tell him that's OK? 758 00:46:30,323 --> 00:46:31,443 OK, quickly. 759 00:46:35,403 --> 00:46:39,243 You tell your sister that I am more than happy to help. 760 00:46:43,003 --> 00:46:44,843 Whatever they're making you do... 761 00:46:46,363 --> 00:46:48,723 ..please don't. 762 00:46:48,723 --> 00:46:50,083 Rani! 763 00:47:05,003 --> 00:47:06,843 Come on! 764 00:47:08,403 --> 00:47:09,723 Come on! 765 00:47:14,483 --> 00:47:15,723 Hello, Dad. 766 00:47:15,723 --> 00:47:16,763 Did they sign? 767 00:47:16,763 --> 00:47:18,523 I'm just on my way. You're late?! 768 00:47:18,523 --> 00:47:20,123 Jesus, I knew I should've done this myself. 769 00:47:20,123 --> 00:47:22,243 Do I have to hold your hand to sign your own bloody name?! 770 00:47:22,243 --> 00:47:24,483 No, Dad, everything's fine. 771 00:47:24,483 --> 00:47:26,203 To be late is offensive in Chinese business. 772 00:47:26,203 --> 00:47:27,803 Yeah, I'm... I'm aware of that. 773 00:47:27,803 --> 00:47:29,723 By God, if you screw this up, I... 774 00:47:29,723 --> 00:47:31,203 Just call me when it's done! 775 00:47:31,203 --> 00:47:32,483 I'm... 776 00:47:41,723 --> 00:47:43,883 Define metallic bonding. 777 00:47:43,883 --> 00:47:47,043 The electrostatic attraction between delocalised electrons 778 00:47:47,043 --> 00:47:48,963 and positive metal ions. 779 00:47:48,963 --> 00:47:53,643 Hmm, correct. What is the octet rule? 780 00:47:55,523 --> 00:47:58,763 Elements combine in a covalent compound 781 00:47:58,763 --> 00:48:02,043 with eight electrons in their outer shell. 782 00:48:02,043 --> 00:48:03,283 Are they bothering you? 783 00:48:03,283 --> 00:48:04,323 No. 784 00:48:05,443 --> 00:48:09,363 Hey. Hey! Can you keep the noise down, please? 785 00:48:09,363 --> 00:48:10,843 My daughter is studying up here. 786 00:48:10,843 --> 00:48:12,523 Fuck off! Get out of here, man. 787 00:48:15,363 --> 00:48:17,203 They have all the privileges in the world, 788 00:48:17,203 --> 00:48:18,843 and they choose to waste their lives. 789 00:48:18,843 --> 00:48:22,643 Hmm! Good. More opportunities for you. 790 00:48:22,643 --> 00:48:25,803 Which of these is the best conductor of electricity? 791 00:48:25,803 --> 00:48:27,443 Sodium, magnesium or alu....? 792 00:48:27,443 --> 00:48:29,083 Aluminium. 793 00:48:29,083 --> 00:48:30,763 Correct. Very good. 794 00:48:51,443 --> 00:48:53,403 I'm so sorry I'm late. 795 00:48:53,403 --> 00:48:58,803 Oh, I just, uh, had a meeting with some, uh, new suppliers. 796 00:48:58,803 --> 00:49:01,563 Anyway, the exciting part, huh? 797 00:49:01,563 --> 00:49:03,643 I think we've got all the paperwork sorted, 798 00:49:03,643 --> 00:49:08,283 so now all we need is your signatures. 799 00:49:12,763 --> 00:49:15,403 Is...everything OK? 800 00:49:22,683 --> 00:49:26,603 An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. 801 00:49:28,363 --> 00:49:29,843 Stop! 802 00:50:08,443 --> 00:50:10,043 I can help with that. 803 00:50:10,043 --> 00:50:13,523 Well, I managed without your help during puberty, 804 00:50:13,523 --> 00:50:15,963 two divorces and my mother's dementia, 805 00:50:15,963 --> 00:50:17,963 so I'm pretty sure I can scrape the paint 806 00:50:17,963 --> 00:50:19,683 off an old door without you. 807 00:50:22,723 --> 00:50:24,203 What's that? 808 00:50:24,203 --> 00:50:27,403 Heat gun. For stripping paint. 809 00:50:27,403 --> 00:50:29,723 Did you steal it? No. 810 00:50:29,723 --> 00:50:31,083 Frank? 811 00:50:31,083 --> 00:50:32,443 I borrowed it. 812 00:50:38,363 --> 00:50:39,763 Plug it in. 813 00:51:28,163 --> 00:51:29,803 Bro. 814 00:51:31,443 --> 00:51:35,523 Come on, bro. It's me, man. 815 00:51:35,523 --> 00:51:37,163 Who's there? 816 00:51:37,163 --> 00:51:38,723 Hey, bro, I just need two Bs, bro. 817 00:51:38,723 --> 00:51:41,163 Eh, no man, you've got the wrong place. No, bro. Come on, man. 818 00:51:41,163 --> 00:51:42,843 Please, I've got the money on me now. 819 00:51:42,843 --> 00:51:44,523 - I'll just get it out. - Please, man... 820 00:51:44,523 --> 00:51:45,843 Hey, man, I said fuck off. 821 00:51:50,283 --> 00:51:51,803 What are you thinking, man? 822 00:51:52,963 --> 00:51:54,203 Sit down. 823 00:51:54,203 --> 00:51:57,243 You, move. Now! 824 00:52:03,843 --> 00:52:06,083 Where's the line? What line? 825 00:52:06,083 --> 00:52:07,843 Don't mess with me, man. Where's the phone? 826 00:52:07,843 --> 00:52:10,323 - What the fuck are you talking about? - I'm not gonna ask you again. 827 00:52:10,323 --> 00:52:11,723 Where the fuck is the phone?! 828 00:52:14,763 --> 00:52:16,123 Under the rug, man. 829 00:52:39,363 --> 00:52:40,523 I dare you. 830 00:52:46,163 --> 00:52:47,803 You don't want to do this, man. 831 00:52:47,803 --> 00:52:51,203 I'm telling you, bro. You're making a mistake, man. 832 00:53:10,003 --> 00:53:11,923 Do you know who you're robbing, blud? 833 00:53:18,283 --> 00:53:20,443 You don't want to walk out that door with that bag, bro. 834 00:53:20,443 --> 00:53:22,483 I'm telling you that right now. 835 00:53:49,843 --> 00:53:50,923 Hey! 836 00:53:52,443 --> 00:53:54,483 Go, go, go! Go! Go! 837 00:54:19,243 --> 00:54:21,603 Hey! This way. 838 00:55:09,083 --> 00:55:10,643 Sweetheart. 839 00:55:12,163 --> 00:55:13,763 Did they sign? 840 00:55:14,803 --> 00:55:16,323 Of course. 841 00:55:16,323 --> 00:55:18,763 We're out of the woods? 842 00:55:18,763 --> 00:55:20,123 Absolutely. 843 00:55:20,123 --> 00:55:21,563 Oh, thank God! 844 00:55:21,563 --> 00:55:22,763 Thank God. 845 00:55:27,443 --> 00:55:29,443 Did you tell your dad the good news? 846 00:55:30,363 --> 00:55:32,203 Yeah. I told him. 847 00:55:32,203 --> 00:55:35,963 Well done, sweetheart. I am so proud of you. 848 00:55:35,963 --> 00:55:37,483 Thank you. 849 00:57:08,803 --> 00:57:10,283 Evening, Sarge. 850 00:57:14,003 --> 00:57:16,123 Lucy. Hmm? 851 00:57:23,803 --> 00:57:25,323 This just came in? Hmm. 852 00:57:25,323 --> 00:57:28,323 CCTV from Lawrence Hill. 62105

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