All language subtitles for Assisted Living s02e13 Christmas Staycation.eng

- ♪

- Let's go, let's go,
let's go!

Come on now,
bag time, bag time!

Bring it in,
bring it in.

Alright, look at that,
look at that.

See? Look at that.

[groans] See?

I got a little clench in the
butt, not a full clench.

That's how you know the
bag is light enough.

- PHILIP: Alright.
- See that? See?

Look at this. [groans]
Half clench.

- [groans]
- Now what--see,

what is going on here? Huh?

Huh? What is--what--full clench,
son. I'm in full clench.

- Okay, then--
- What is in your bag?

- Hey, what's in my bag
is my business.

- Okay, well whatever's
in your bag,

better be under 50 pounds,
or else they're gonna

charge you extra.

- Exactly, they're gonna
charge you extra.

And how you know yours is
under 50 pounds?

- See your daddy's--the way
his muscles set up, babe,

they usually tap out at
about 45, 46 pounds,

let me see,
give 'em to me. Ah!

- Yeah, that explains a lot.

- Babe, babe--
- Oh yeah, there's no way

that's under 50 pounds.
- Baby. What is in your bag?

- What? Just everything
a woman needs to travel.

- What's that?
A dead body?

- LEAH: Okay, okay.

- Before you say anything--
- JEREMY: Oh my god.

- Just remember,
I'm a girl.

Your first born.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Your angel.

- Sandra!

Sandra...what are you
smuggling in this bag?

- I'm not smuggling anything.

- My sister has become
a drug mule.

Sad case.
- Really?

- Ooh! You know what? Guys are
excited to go back to Chicago,

see your friends?

- Well, we see our friends
all the time.

- Yeah, on our cell phones.

- Yeah, you know they always
on that damn phone.

- I know. But I know y'all ready
to get to that food in Chicago.

Boom!
- Chicago style popcorn.

- Ooh girl, caramel, chocolate?
- The caramel.

Ooh, you know what I miss,
you know what I miss?

- Ooh, what you miss?
- I miss Philip getting

it stuck in his teeth.
- Alright, whatever, whatever,

okay, I just got all the
flavor out the popcorn

before I ate it.
- [laughs]

- Ooh, you know what
I miss, though?

- SANDRA: What?
- I want me a deep dish pizza,

oh my gosh, with--

- LEAH AND PHILIP: Extra cheese
and pepperoni!

- Ooh, that sounds so good.
- Give it to me, bro.

- You know what I miss?
- What? What?

I know what you want, you want
a Chicago-style hot dog.

- Yeah.
- Ooh, yeah.

- I do, I do want a hot dog.

But you know what I really love?
- What?

- What I really, really love?
- What, baby?

- I would love for y'all to get
to the bag and take some of

this crap out of your bags,
'cause they too heavy.

- Really, baby?

I'll be right back,
I'm gonna go get my other bag.

- Other bag?
- Yes, a small bag, a small bag.

- Leah?
- Yeah?

- I said one bag for everybody.
- Yes.

- I'm the one that gotta
carry it.

- It's just a few light things
in there,

just like undergarments--
- No.

- But I got it,
I'ma go get it.

- Does that mean I can
get another bag, too?

- No!

Alright now, look, I need
your all help on this, okay?

I'm the one that's paying
for this excursion

back home to Chicago,
and at this rate,

we're not gonna eating nothing
but boiled peanuts.

- Boiled peanuts? Ugh.
- Ew.

- Boiled peanuts
is a delicacy!

- To who?

- I got so much to teach y'all.

- Mom, can I have another bag?

- No!

- ♪

- ♪

♪ No matter what you do
I love you ♪

♪ No matter where you go
I'm behind you for sure ♪

♪ Always remember,
Blood ain't ever water ♪

♪ We'll make it if we
stay together ♪♪

- ♪

- Ho-ho-ho, Merry Christmas!
- Merry Christmas!

- Ya-ya-ya.

- Merry Christmas.

- What you all frowned
up for?

Don't act like you ain't
never seen no black Santa.

- No, I've seen some,
but not quite like--

man, what is this?

- Oh, I'm serving you
retro Santa, throwback.

- Okay.
- MR. BROWN: Like this.

- Alright. Well,
what brings y'all by?

- Well, we just wanted to come
and give back to the facility.

It's been a difficult year,
and a lot of times

the residents get
forgotten about,

so I just want to prepare
some food and bring some cookies

and everything, and just add
to what you have for Christmas.

- Cora, don't look like
you gotta add much,

'cause don't look like they
doing nothing.

- No, I was planning on taking
my family home

to Chicago
for Christmas.

- Jeremy, what are you talking
about?

I mean, I heard you talking
about planning Christmas,

so you...
for here.

- Oh, oh no, I'm sorry Cora,
no,

I plan on taking my
family back,

not the whole house.

- So you telling me you
don't have nothing planned?

- No!
Not a damn thing.

- Mr. Vinny!
- No, no, no, no, no, no!

They ain't got no candy canes,

they ain't got no chestnuts
roasting,

they got no halls
being decked,

little elf shoes,
nothing!

They ain't got nothing!

They ain't got no tree, they
ain't got nothing.

- No, it's not like that,
it's just like you said,

we in a difficult time
right now and I was just

trying to do something
nice for my family.

- Okay, I understand that.
I get that.

But you know what?

The weather's getting bad
out there.

- Yeah, looked like it
was about to snow.

You know traffic get bad
soon as ice hit the ground.

- No, no, no way. Y'all playing.

It was just sunny
a few hours ago.

- Boy, this is Georgia,
the weather's unpredictable,

just like 2020 has been.

Unpredictable!

- Oh no, no, you're right,
they said it's

a winter storm heading this way
right now.

- You wanna know what else is
unbelievable?

How my beloved grandson is
taking his little raggedy family

back to Chicago and leaving his
caring, beloved

grandfather behind.

- I asked you if you wanted to
go,

you said you only fly
first class.

Do you know much a
first class flight is

from Atlanta to Chicago?

- Well, we'll just trade
in the kids' two tickets.

Bam, problem solved.

- Cora, I'm sorry for
the mix up, okay?

Alright, I gotta--I got to go.

I'm gonna put the bags in the
car, okay?

Sorry again, y'all.
- CORA: Okay.

- MR. BROWN: Don't sound like
no mix up to me.

- Well, I guess I'll go in
the back room

with the rest of the sorry,
decrepit, miserable souls

back there
and hang out with them.

- No, Mr. Vinny,
don't do that.

I mean,
I brought a lot of food,

we gonna decorate, we gonna
celebrate for Christmas.

- Yeah, I had Cora buy some
greens, beans, potatoes,

hams, yams, cookies, cream,
potatoes, pie--

- Mr. Brown, I didn't
bring all of that now.

- You name it,
she brought it.

- I brought a lot of food,
you know,

it's already been prepared,
I just need to

spruce it up a little bit.

- I'm sorry, Cora, the holidays
is, you know, for children,

and you know, women who want to
spend a lot of money, you know?

I had a few women,
I had some in the '70s,

I had a couple in the '80s,
had one in the '90s.

- Only one in the '90s?

- Yeah, the budget cuts.
In fact, the only spirits

I'm into right now is making
my world famous egg nog

that I make every year
for my ho-ho-hos.

- Well, I'm sorry you
feel that way.

- Yeah, well you know,
ever since my wife passed,

you know, I ain't been
too jolly about the holiday.

- CORA: Okay.
- And then they got

all these commercials.
I mean you've seen them,

you gotta buy this,
you gotta buy that toy,

get this toy, get that--
it just ain't worth it,

it ain't, it ain't worth it.
- MR. BROWN: Oh.

Oh, Cora, let's just
hurry up so we can spread

some Christmas cheer.
That's negative.

- Mr. Brown,
now we can't make them

have a Christmas Spirit now.

- Okay, Cora, you finna
do that?

- What?
- You finna sit here

and you gonna sit here
and let the devil win?

- No.
- I ain't finna do that.

I ain't finna to do it.
- But Mr. Brown...

But Jeremy and his family
about to leave,

I mean, what's the point?
- Cora, what's the point?

- Yeah.
- The point is the Lord

sent us here,
what you talking about?

What's the point?
Woman, where is your faith?

We on a mission.
- You right.

- I'm not finna let the
devil win.

Lord, send us a sign.

- What kind of sign, Mr. Brown?
- [doorbell rings]

- Flight got canceled.

- There's your sign.

- Won't he do it?
- Yes, he will! [laughs]

- You still packing? Damn.
- Uh-huh.

You know what, baby?
You just gonna have to

make this work.
I tried, I tried,

but you gonna have to pay
that extra baggage fee, bruh.

- No, baby, we got bad news.
- Huh?

- Yeah.
- Wh--why does it look like

you got into a fight
with the tree?

- Man, I went out there
to put the bags in the car,

then it just started
getting windy,

and then it started snowing,
and then the trees

and the branches--
- Baby, I'm sorry you got

into a fight
with the weather.

Wait, hold on, did you just
say it was snowing?

It was just beautiful
and sunny outside.

- I know, I just don't
understand this Georgia weather.

It's ridiculous.
- Me either. Ooh.

Ha-ha! But you know what?
We can probably

take my other coat out,
and that will save you

a few pounds
on the muscles, bruh.

- No, baby,
that's the bad news,

our flight is canceled.
- What?

- Yes, they canceled all the
flights in the southeast.

- That sucks.
- I know, man, I'm sorry.

- It's not your fault.

It's not like you summoned God
and told him to make it snow.

Or did you?

You don't want me to
see my sister?

- Look, this is not the time
to make jokes.

- Oh, well, I guess it is
his son's birthday,

so he can do whatever
he wants to.

[laughs]

I guess we can just make
the best of the situation

and have us a little
Christmas staycation.

- True.

- You know the kids
ain't gonna like that,

but it'll be alright.

- You right.
And the Browns are here.

And Cora said she cooked.

And Mr. Brown said he's gonna
try to decorate.

Hate to see what that look like.

- Oh, we'll just make the
best of the situation, baby.

- Yeah.
- [sighs]

- You done packed a little
mistletoe, huh?

- I guess I can put it up,
since we ain't going nowhere.

- Oh, oh or...

Or we could get this little
staycation started right now.

[laughs]

- You trying to get your
jingle bells rocked, boy?

- Ho, ho, ho.
- [laughs]

- Merry Christmas!
- Merry Christmas!

Oh, don't you
look beautiful?

- Yes, I do, don't I? [laughs]
- [laughs]

And Merry Christmas, fellas.

I heard y'all were feelin' a
little low?

- Eh, a little.

I had to drag Reggie
out of his room.

- Mr. Reginald,
you feeling a little blue?

- Something to that effect.

- But, in 1967, when I was
on tour

with Pearl Bailey--
- Yes.

- --and Cab Calloway
in "Hello Dolly,"

we used to sing this song,

"Put on Your Sunday Clothes When
You're Feeling Down and Out."

That's the day that you
should dress up

and make yourself feel alive--
- CORA: Yes!

- --in spite of your troubles.

- Thanks, but I'll leave the
festive wardrobe to you.

Though you do look outstanding.

- Thanks, doll.

- We smelling something
delightful there?

- So we came down
to check it out.

- I did bring some food,
and Mr. Brown is, you know--

we decorating,
Mr. Brown is outside

cutting down a pine tree.

- He has to be careful.
- What?

- There's a family of squirrels
that lives in those trees,

and they can be
very aggressive.

- Squirrels?
- Yeah, so, I don't know

what part of town
they come from,

but they are definitely
about that life.

- Oh.

- Cora, can I be
of any assistance?

- No, Mr. Reginald,
you don't have to do anything.

- It'd be my pleasure.
- Well, you can hand me

those flowers
out of that box,

and you can start getting
those Christmas lights out.

- Okay.
- CORA: Yeah, I'll take that

and I'll put that...
- So, Ms. Cora--

- Yes, sir?
- What am I smelling?

- Well actually,
we have some Christmas cookies,

we have some
sweet potato pie,

we got a whole lot of stuff
over there.

- If that pie is as good
as it smells,

my figure is in trouble.
- Well, you in trouble!

- Where did this
come from?

- Oh, Mr. Brown got that--
brought that box out.

- No, I know, I mean
this wreath.

This belongs to me,
this here's mine.

- We were just--
- You all had no right!

- Well were just putting out
Christmas things.

- What are you doing with all
this for? Stop it!

- Mr. Brown--
- Just stop it right now!

- [somber piano music]

- Yes, we hear you
Mr. Reginald.

I'm sorry, we was just putting
out some Christmas decorations,

I didn't know,
I'm so sorry, Mr. Reginald.

- Oh no, it's alright.

And Cora, thanks for not
forgetting about us,

so many people do.
- I'm--I'm--I'm sorry,

I just, I...

I bought this for my wife,
and she left it

when she left our marriage,
and I used to stare at it

for hours,
hoping she'd--

she'd come back.

I--I didn't realize it would
trigger such a response.

- [doorbell rings]
- So sorry.

- Cora! Cora! Y'all help!
- CORA: What is it?!

- They trying to get me, Cora!

- Who trying to get you?
- Them squirrels!

- The squirrels?
- Yes, I went out there

trying to get this tree,
they come and attacked me, Cora,

about five of them.
Cora, they tried to kill me!

- Mr. Brown, you got
violated by a squirrel?

- Brown was
violated by a squirrel! [laughs]

- [laughing]

- MR. BROWN: It ain't that
funny.

- [laughing]

- I could've been
killed, Cora!

I could've been--
I could've been killed

and dead in my grave.
- What?

- I needed that.

Fellas, I haven't laughed like
that in a long time. [laughs]

- That's so good,
Mr. Reginald.

- Cora, ain't nothing
that funny!

Laugh like I haven't
laughed in a long time!

I could've been killed
by them squirrels!

- Mr. Brown--
- Cora, I think I need to

be checked for the rabbits.
- You mean the rabies!

- Whatever it is, Cora,
they could've killed me!

- We can't do nothing
with that tree,

we can't decorate that.

- Cora, you mean to tell me I
was out there on the front line,

trying to get this tree,

and you telling me we can't
decorate it?

- That ain't no tree,
that's a limb!

That's the best you could
bring back?

- Reggie, how about you and I go
out there

and take care of it?
- How about you shut up?

- Challenge accepted,
we'll look into it.

Thank you, Ms. Cora.
Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas,
Mr. Reginald.

- Cora, they finna
get killed!

- Mr. Brown!

- That squirrel's gonna
tear their butt up!

- Mr. Brown!

- Let's see if Kunta Kinte
and them can take care

of that squirrel.
- Don't do that.

- Ain't nobody doing nothing,
I could've been killed.

Well ho-ho-ho!

- Well ho-ho-ho
to you too!

We need a better tree!

- And that's why you
never lead with spades, see?

I can't believe your mom and
daddy ain't teach y'all

how to play this game.

- I don't think they're
any good at it.

- Man, I really wanted to go
back home.

- Me too.

- Oh yeah, about that, I'm glad
your little punk ass trip

got canceled.

- Thanks.

- I thought when you get old,

you're supposed to get the
Christmas spirit?

- Only spirit I get down with
is this one in my flask.

- What's that?
- I make it in my room.

- I don't think you're supposed
to be doing that in your room.

- That's why it's special.

- BOTH: [laughing]

- Hey, where have you
guys been?

- Oh honey, we took a little
tour around the house,

we wanted to see the decorations
Cora put up!

They look amazing, Cora.
- CORA: Thank you, thank you.

- Yes honey, then we got
caught outside

talking to the old people.
Well, you know what?

I'll say lightly seasoned.

- Yeah, yeah, we was out there
talking about back in the day.

Did y'all know that Reginald
invented applesauce?

- [laughs]
- LEAH: Reginald.

- Did y'all know that Mr. Brown
got attacked by squirrels?

- [laughs]
- Tell you what, man,

I outta call Child Protective
Services on you, man?

- Why would you do that?

- Because you let these
black kids go out into the world

and not know how to play Spades
man, that is illegal.

- Grandpa Vinny, calm down.

They never really seemed
interested, so you know.

- Because you guys are terrible.

- Whoa, buddy, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Now your Momma over here,
she good on that table,

now your Daddy
on the other hand,

oh, he's standing right there,
shh.

- VINNY: Don't worry--
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

my game is tight.
- Oh, oh, okay.

- Don't worry about it,
I handled it,

I taught them how to play,
you know,

when I teach them,
my students never lose.

In fact, you know, if you
challenge them to a game

right now,
I bet they'd tap that ass.

- You mean behind?
- No, I mean ass.

- [laughs]
Grandpa.

- Come on, Dad.
- Yeah, Mom, come play.

- Oh, wait a minute now.
You sure you want your Momma

to get on the table?
'Cause I love y'all

and everything,
y'all my babies,

I love you dearly,
so um,

d-d-d-don't t-t-t-take this
a-a-a-ass whooping p-p-p-p--

- BOTH: Personally!
- [grunts]

Let's go!
- JEREMY: Yeah.

- Bring it.

- [laughs]
- You know what?

I actually thought
it would be harder than that.

- Yo, I didn't
even get board.

- Y'all got set!
That was pathetic!

- All you had to do
is read the table,

that's all you had to do,
Jeremy!

You know, you never
lead with a spade

ever, ever, ever,
they wouldn't have got

ten books over here
had you read the table,

read the table.

- But the game is called Spades.

- You cut with them!

- [laughing]

- Well, your kids
are amazing.

If y'all would've played
with somebody who really

knew how to play, y'all,
well they would

beat the brakes
off of y'all!

- You know that's cute
and everything, Cora,

but they learned from
Many Vinny,

and my students never lose.

- Is that right?
- That is absolutely right.

- I tell you what,
I could beat you.

- I need a new partner!

- Play?
- LEAH: Come on.

- I'ma pick my--
Sandra gonna be my partner!

- Well you know what?
I don't play anymore,

I just teach.

- Oh, so that's what it is?
No, I'm gonna be the one

doing the teaching.
- [everyone exclaims]

- That's definitely a shot
at your manhood.

- Oh, okay Christian, damn it,
cut them, let's do it.

- Hey, guys, I'm sorry
I didn't get y'all back home

to Chicago for Christmas.

- It's okay,
we had a good time.

- Yeah, it wasn't
that bad.

- I enjoyed our little
staycation, too.

But you, baby cakes,
you gotta learn

how to read that table.
[laughing]

- ♪ Oh holy night ♪

♪ The stars are
brightly ♪

♪ Shining ♪

♪ It is the night ♪

♪ Of our dear savior's birth ♪

♪ Long lay the world

♪ In sin ♪

♪ And error pining ♪

♪ 'Til he appears ♪

♪ And the soul felt its worth ♪

♪ A thrill of hope ♪

♪ The weary world rejoices ♪

♪ For yonder breaks ♪

♪ A new and glorious morn ♪

♪ Fall ♪

♪ On your knees ♪

♪ Oh hear ♪

♪ The angel's voices ♪

♪ Oh night ♪

♪ Divine ♪

♪ Oh night ♪

♪ When Christ was born ♪

♪ Oh night ♪

♪ Divine ♪

♪ Oh night ♪

♪ Oh night ♪

♪ Divine ♪

♪ Oooh ♪

Merry Christmas, everybody.
- Merry Christmas!

- LEAH: Merry Christmas.
- [clapping]

- Oh man!
That pumpkin pie!

- Merry Christmas
to you anyway.

- ♪

- ♪

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