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Throughout history,
humans have had a primal instinct to hunt,
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to compete, to dominate.
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Initially, survival was a daily necessity.
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Kill or be killed.
There was no choice.
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And through these battles,
through all the aggression
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against the opposition,
a respect developed.
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An unexpected camaraderie was born.
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And around the world,
brotherhoods were forged.
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But now that we're civilized and spoiled
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by the luxuries of the modern world,
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those instincts have been dulled.
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00:01:16,641 --> 00:01:19,427
However, that primal need
to dominate remains.
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00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:21,994
Even today, people around
the world need an outlet,
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an arena to crush the competition.
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And I'm not talking
about fantasy football.
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I'm talking about real competition.
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00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:30,612
Blood, sweat, and beer.
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This is the story about
my group of friends.
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And for the last 20
years, we found that outlet
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00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:39,099
to unleash our need to conquer, to win,
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to be crowned king,
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and to ruthlessly
demoralize our best buddies.
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But at the end of the
day, we are lifelong friends,
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00:01:51,285 --> 00:01:53,983
and nothing could come
between our brotherhood.
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00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,510
Well, almost nothing.
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00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:33,718
Where are you?
27
00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:35,981
Oh, okay.
28
00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:48,298
Oh, okay. Get some.
29
00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:51,214
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
30
00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:55,914
Fuck you!
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00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:57,742
Fuck!
32
00:02:57,916 --> 00:02:59,483
Damn it!
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00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:06,229
Ow! Fuck!
Aaah! Aaah! Stop!
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00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:09,928
Fucking stop shooting!
Aaah!
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00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:14,237
Too much!
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00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:15,673
Oh, fuck.
37
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:19,721
Yeah!
38
00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:31,863
Who's the king? You're the king!
39
00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:35,432
I want to say a couple words here.
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00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:37,869
I should not be standing here
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00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:39,697
collecting another championship,
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00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:41,917
but I am, thanks to guys like Doc.
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00:03:42,091 --> 00:03:44,876
I had you, Shelly.
I had you.
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00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:46,617
You had me dead in the fucking water,
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00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:48,924
I did, Shelly. Right there
by the tree stump,
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00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:51,970
and then you... what happened?
You panicked, right? You spazzed out?
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00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:54,625
That is a good quality
in a doctor, you must admit.
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00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:57,367
Your patients are very lucky.
We'll let it go, and Zane...
49
00:03:57,541 --> 00:04:00,022
That's my name! "In
Zane" in the membrane.
50
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:03,286
You idiot.
You're such an idiot.
51
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,549
This fucking guy!
52
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:08,160
And, Durfy, I was really hoping
you'd win, man.
53
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:11,686
Oh, thank you.'Cause I wanted to go down
on the champion.
54
00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:14,471
Since I'm the champion,
you can go down on me.
55
00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:17,735
Yeah, I'll start now. Ooh! Ooh, ooh!
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00:04:17,909 --> 00:04:21,435
It's "ding!" Like a bullet off
Superman. That's what that was.
57
00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:24,176
Where's big Bob?
Big Bob! Bobfather!
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00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:27,136
Yes! The man we owe it all to.
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00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:29,747
The man who put all this shit together.
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00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:32,228
Bobby, thank you.
I love you, brother. Love you too, buddy.
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00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:35,797
And last but not least,
Dixon Bender "like Beckham."
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00:04:35,971 --> 00:04:38,930
Get over here, Bender.
Bender,
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00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:41,498
I, uh, I've won, uh,
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00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:44,109
six championships in six years.
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00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,111
What do you have to say about that?
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00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,244
Well, Shelly, I... Oh,
we're all out of time.
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00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:51,203
So sorry, Bender.
Love you, Bobby!
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00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:53,510
Whoo! I need a beer.
69
00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:55,556
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
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00:04:55,730 --> 00:05:00,038
Bender, I'm sorry, man.
I'm sorry about earlier.
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00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:02,519
I was just trying to make sure
you were actually dead, you know.
72
00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:05,217
Well, you did. You shot
me, like, 30 times, Shelly.
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00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:07,568
Thirty times.
You painted a fucking house.Yeah.
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00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:09,047
It hurt.
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00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:10,962
Aw, sweet, sweet Bender.
Come on.
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00:05:11,136 --> 00:05:14,531
Come on over here.
You didn't deserve that.
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00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:16,794
I'll never do it again, okay? All right.
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00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:18,579
You hear me? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:21,451
'Cause you are the toughest
son of a bitch I know,
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00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:24,236
and you wear your heart on your shoe.
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00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:26,238
Aaah! Fuck!
82
00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:33,942
You can be such
an asshole, dude. Fuck!
83
00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:35,987
You're 33?Yeah.
84
00:05:36,161 --> 00:05:39,513
Wow! You're so good looking
for an older guy.
85
00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:42,167
Yeah! Totally. I am not.
86
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,604
Yeah, you are. No, I'm not.
87
00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:45,170
You look like a movie star.
88
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,650
You seriously think
I look like a movie star?
89
00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:48,173
Yeah, totally!
90
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,480
You're hot! Wow, thank you!
91
00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:53,744
What do you do? Oh, I operate a backhoe.
92
00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:57,139
I dig a lot of, uh,
sewer mains and cesspools.
93
00:05:57,313 --> 00:06:01,839
It's, uh, anywhere where waste
generally dissipates into the soil.
94
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:05,016
Like poo? Oh.Mm-hmm.
95
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:07,584
Pretty good job.
96
00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,286
Your grandparents let you
throw parties like this here?
97
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:15,897
Yeah. Yeah. Really?
98
00:06:16,071 --> 00:06:18,769
Well, every summer, last 15 years.
99
00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:21,990
Oh, my... Hello! Who's this
beautiful lady?
100
00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:23,992
Hi, I'm Tiff. Tiff?
101
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,646
Tiff, do you know who this is?
102
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:27,212
That's Bob. This is Bob.
103
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,693
Bob is the bestest,
sweetest son of a bitch
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00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:31,739
in the whole, wide world. Are
you gonna kiss me on the lips?
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00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:34,002
I'm gonna kiss you right on
your lips, you big, handsome...
106
00:06:34,176 --> 00:06:36,874
You guys should kiss. I love this guy.
107
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:39,050
Okay. Nikki calls.
108
00:06:39,224 --> 00:06:41,139
Jesus Christ.
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00:06:41,313 --> 00:06:44,142
Careful...
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00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:46,797
Hey, who's got my bucket?
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00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:49,147
There you are, baby.
112
00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:51,106
Sheldon Baldinger.
113
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,543
Why, Nikki Baldinger?
Hi, wifey.
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00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,284
I think it's time we have a little chat.
115
00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,808
Yeah? What do you want
to talk about?
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00:06:57,982 --> 00:07:01,029
I think it's time for
my big, strong champion
117
00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:05,033
to take his trophy...
inside.
118
00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:08,210
Shelly! Shelly! We got
a sleeper. Right there.Dude.
119
00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:10,734
Mark did a bunch of
absinthe. He's basically in a coma.
120
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:12,910
So fire up the nut sac.
121
00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:14,999
Time for the old meat goggles.
122
00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:18,612
Rain check, babe. I'm sorry.
I can't disappoint my fans.
123
00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:21,832
Whoo! Who wants
some balls and gravy?
124
00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:27,882
Balls! Balls! Balls!
Balls! Balls! Balls!
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00:07:28,056 --> 00:07:29,231
Ugh.
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00:07:29,405 --> 00:07:32,234
Unbelievable.
Look at this guy.
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00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:35,498
Why do I do this? Every year, I
get dragged down to these things.
128
00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:38,240
Bunch of grown men
acting like teenage chimps.
129
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:41,591
Yeah, they're animals.
130
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:45,334
Poor Mark's passed out. Now he
has balls smeared all over his forehead.
131
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,554
He's a schoolteacher.
132
00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:50,644
It's a good thing
Mark's students aren't here.
133
00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:53,037
All he cares about is work
134
00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:55,953
and beating his buddies at the
Buddy Games, especially you, Bender.
135
00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:57,738
I haven't showered for three days!
136
00:07:57,912 --> 00:08:00,218
Why don't you teach him a lesson?
137
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:02,525
From us. Come on.
It'll be fun.
138
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:05,702
What, shoot him?
I can't do that.Okay.
139
00:08:05,876 --> 00:08:09,227
Two for one.
Two nuts, one guy.
140
00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:11,926
Look familiar, Bender?
141
00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:15,451
What if I did? Yeah, do it.
142
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,584
Left hook. Uppercut.
143
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,020
Body blow. Aaah!
144
00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:20,978
What?
145
00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:22,850
Shel! Shelly!
146
00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:26,941
Bender, you fucked him up real good, man.
147
00:08:27,115 --> 00:08:29,639
Jesus Christ, what am I looking at?
148
00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:49,398
What's going on? Nothing.
149
00:08:50,878 --> 00:08:52,706
You know, I was doing the math
150
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,577
on how many years we've been coming here,
151
00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:56,971
and it's five years
of Sundays. I know.
152
00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:58,668
She's making the same casserole.
153
00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:00,322
Oh, God.
154
00:09:00,496 --> 00:09:02,193
My mom really appreciates it though.
155
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:03,804
And I appreciate you for coming with me.
156
00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:05,719
I was thinking that maybe we could
157
00:09:05,893 --> 00:09:08,635
add something
to the Sunday routine. Like what?
158
00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:11,463
I'm just gonna keep sliding down
the counter until you figure it out.
159
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:13,553
We could see how we like that.
160
00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:18,296
Yeah. You want
to do it right here?
161
00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:29,830
You want to add something
to the Sunday routine?
162
00:09:41,885 --> 00:09:45,236
I'm staring at a picture of myself
as a child staring back at me.
163
00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:47,108
It's horrifying.
164
00:09:49,371 --> 00:09:50,764
Oh, God!
165
00:09:53,462 --> 00:09:55,551
Okay, my buns are warm.
166
00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:57,684
Bless your heart!
167
00:09:57,858 --> 00:10:00,164
Oh, I always forget to heat those up.
168
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:02,950
Not a big deal. I mean,
look at your casserole.
169
00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:04,560
Isn't it good today? Oh...
170
00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:06,562
Did you do something
different this time? No.
171
00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:08,912
No, you baked a pie. How
am I gonna compete with you?
172
00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:10,392
Oh, I bought that pie, sweetie.
173
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:12,133
Bill hates my pie.
174
00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:13,830
What? What's that?
175
00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:15,702
I said, you hate my pie.
176
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:18,748
Oh, yeah.
Store pie's better.
177
00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:21,011
You know, I always think that pie is pie.
178
00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:22,709
You know, as long as it's warm
179
00:10:22,883 --> 00:10:25,189
and lots of whipped cream, you know.
180
00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:27,322
Mmm. Bob loves my pie, right?
181
00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:30,107
I do love your pie.
Very much. Yeah, Bob loves my pie.
182
00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:32,501
Sounds like you guys
are talking about vagina.
183
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,024
Oh, Bill! What?
184
00:10:34,198 --> 00:10:37,245
Oh, good Lord!
I know what you meant.
185
00:10:37,419 --> 00:10:39,595
No, we were actually
talking about vagina.
186
00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,379
No, we weren't.Oh, stop it.
187
00:10:44,034 --> 00:10:46,646
Bobby, when are you
gonna marry this girl?
188
00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,256
Mom, please.
189
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:50,780
Peas? No, Dad.
I don't want peas.
190
00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:52,826
I want grandbabies, for goodness sake.
191
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,958
I know you want grandbabies.
You say that every weekend.
192
00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:57,265
What are you guys
waiting for? Mother...
193
00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:01,225
Mary Ann Baldinger?
194
00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:03,358
Uh, give me one second.
195
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:06,404
Why don't you take him away
somewhere romantic?
196
00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:10,757
Mrs. Baldinger. This is
a surprise. How are you?
197
00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:14,195
Not so good, Bobby.
Sheldon needs you. Now.
198
00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:17,459
We're at Silver Linings. Silver Linings?
Like, the rehab?
199
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:20,027
Yes. I'll explain when
you get here. Come now.
200
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,249
I'm sorry, you guys.
I have to run. What?
201
00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:27,077
Is everything okay? Yeah, I'll see you
back at the house.
202
00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:29,297
Do you want me to go with
you? Nope. You enjoy yourselves.
203
00:11:31,038 --> 00:11:33,562
Eat your casserole. I can...
204
00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:37,914
Okay. Okay.
205
00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:49,796
What?
206
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,016
What is going on?
207
00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:54,801
Shouldn't his wife be here? Where's Nikki?
208
00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:57,020
Nikki? The
bitch filed for divorce,
209
00:11:57,194 --> 00:12:00,458
sold the shares back to the
investors, and moved to Jamaica.
210
00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:02,373
What?
211
00:12:02,547 --> 00:12:05,115
He is in a dark, dark place, Bobby.
212
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:08,075
Sheldon's a good boy.
Do you know what it's like
213
00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:11,034
watching your boy wasting away
in front of your eyes?
214
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,515
I can't even imagine, Mrs. B.
I am so sorry.
215
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,343
I need you to do something for me.
216
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:16,736
Yeah, anything. You name it.
217
00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:18,259
Get the boys back together.
218
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:20,261
Yeah. Whatever you need.
We'll take him out,
219
00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:22,002
maybe go on a vacation.No.
220
00:12:22,176 --> 00:12:24,700
His counselor said Sheldon
needs something to live for.
221
00:12:24,874 --> 00:12:27,747
He needs a win.
He needs those games.
222
00:12:27,921 --> 00:12:29,313
The Buddy Games? Yeah.
223
00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:31,402
No. No, no, no.
224
00:12:31,576 --> 00:12:33,013
That's... That's not gonna happen.
225
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:35,580
I'm not asking.
I'm telling.
226
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,800
If you have any compassion
in your soul whatsoever,
227
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:39,759
you will do this for my boy.
228
00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:43,153
Oh, don't be a pussy.
229
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,765
You were always a leader of men.
230
00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:47,592
What did the boys used to call you?
231
00:12:50,117 --> 00:12:52,423
The Bobfather. And why did they
call you that?
232
00:12:52,597 --> 00:12:55,078
Because I was their leader.
233
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:57,080
Exactly.
234
00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:59,169
Now, you rally those troops.
235
00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:02,085
Shake.
All right. All right.
236
00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:04,305
Oh, you're a good boy, Bobby.
237
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:07,874
God...
238
00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:12,443
Whoop. Excuse me. Hey, Bob.
239
00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:18,232
Shelly?
240
00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:20,800
What are you doing here, Bob?
241
00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:23,846
Holy shit! What...
Uh, you look...
242
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,805
Like a runway model?
243
00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:27,937
You know...
244
00:13:29,069 --> 00:13:30,984
Why are you here, Bob? Uh...
245
00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:34,378
Uh, could we go talk some place
a little more private?
246
00:13:34,552 --> 00:13:37,599
Sure. Just let
Bruce finish first.
247
00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:39,209
You hungry, fella?
248
00:13:39,383 --> 00:13:41,168
I know it feels like
he's taking stuff off,
249
00:13:41,342 --> 00:13:42,952
but he's actually putting
things on your head.
250
00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:51,004
Mmm! What, you got
cocaine in here?
251
00:13:51,178 --> 00:13:52,527
How the fuck did you get cocaine in here?
252
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,311
Crushed-up SweeTARTS.
253
00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:56,183
Desperate times, brother.
254
00:13:56,357 --> 00:13:59,795
So, uh, I don't see you for years,
255
00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:02,537
and then you just show up
on my doorstep like this.
256
00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:04,017
Uh, you don't see me for y...
257
00:14:04,191 --> 00:14:06,019
We've been trying
to track you down for years.
258
00:14:06,193 --> 00:14:08,891
What do you want, Bob? I
want my best friend back.
259
00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:10,545
That's what I want.
260
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:12,852
I want to know
what the hell happened to you.
261
00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:15,463
And why are you here... Five years?
262
00:14:17,421 --> 00:14:19,380
Oh, come on, man.
263
00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:21,338
Seriously?
264
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:24,428
What could be so bad that
you had to go down this road?
265
00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:28,824
I lost my right testicle that night, Bob.
266
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:33,742
Oh, I... I didn't... I didn't...
267
00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:35,352
I didn't know that.
I'm sorry.
268
00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:37,006
Yeah, that night they did surgery.
269
00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:39,139
I didn't feel anything for days, man.
270
00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:41,402
I mean, it might have been
the OxyContin talking,
271
00:14:41,576 --> 00:14:43,795
but, whoo, son!
272
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:46,494
But, uh something still wasn't right.
273
00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:47,843
What do you mean?
274
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:49,627
I guess in all the chaos,
275
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,847
nobody thought to check on my left nut,
276
00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:54,241
the only one I had left. Oh, no.
277
00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:56,112
It got a little staph infection,
278
00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:59,115
and they had to remove that one too.
279
00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:00,551
So you...
280
00:15:00,725 --> 00:15:02,205
Lost both my balls?
Yeah.
281
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:05,121
Ah, Jesus Christ.
I'm so sorry, man.
282
00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:08,211
I had no idea.
I don't even know what to say.
283
00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:11,736
I'm a fuckin' textbook
alpha male, honest.
284
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,434
I am a wrecking ball.
285
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:15,479
I am a killing machine.Okay. Okay.
286
00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:18,265
I bring food back to the
village and lay all the women.
287
00:15:21,137 --> 00:15:24,575
You know, life hasn't been all that
good to me either, just so you know.
288
00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:27,752
My company is completely in the shitter.
289
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,494
I'm practically broke. I'm living
in a one-bedroom apartment.
290
00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:31,931
Really? Yeah.
291
00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:38,111
Goddamn it, man! We were on top
of the world, weren't we?
292
00:15:38,285 --> 00:15:41,244
Look, I know we're not as young
and bulletproof as we used to be,
293
00:15:41,418 --> 00:15:43,899
but we got to where we were
because we were good at what we did.
294
00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:47,511
Who says that got to settle because
life dealt us a couple of shitty hands?
295
00:15:47,685 --> 00:15:49,557
You know what we need?
296
00:15:49,731 --> 00:15:50,819
A gun.
297
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:54,692
No, we don't... not a...
No, we don't need a gun.
298
00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:56,694
Right. Two guns. One
for each of us. Good catch.
299
00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:58,522
You know what else we need?
300
00:15:58,696 --> 00:16:01,264
The Buddy Games. You
out of your fucking mind?
301
00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:03,527
No.That's the reason
I'm in this place,
302
00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:05,573
in this goddamn robe,
303
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,618
snorting crushed-up candies.
304
00:16:07,792 --> 00:16:10,795
I got tits, for Christ's sake!
Fuck the Buddy Games!
305
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:14,756
Let's not let one little hiccup
destroy 20 years of greatness.
306
00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:18,499
You are...
the Buddy Games.
307
00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:21,415
You are our champion.
You are our king.
308
00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:23,286
We need you to save us. I'm the king?
309
00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:24,896
You're the king. Who's the king?
310
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:26,376
You.Mm-mmm.
311
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:28,378
Shelly. Shelly's the fucking king.
312
00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:30,424
If I'm the king, then I get
to decide who's there.
313
00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:32,121
Okay, sure.
314
00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:33,818
Then Bender can't be there.
315
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:37,300
Really?
316
00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:40,086
Come on. Yeah, he's an asshole,
but he's one of us.
317
00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:41,826
What?
After what he did to me?
318
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,351
Then forget it, man.
Fuck you. Save yourselves.
319
00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:47,832
Okay, okay, you know what? Fine,
fine. He doesn't even have to know.
320
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,487
I'll call everybody else
except for Bender.
321
00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:52,011
Get those fucking games back on.
322
00:16:52,185 --> 00:16:53,577
Right on. One more thing. What?
323
00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:55,057
Let me tell the guys.
324
00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:56,754
About what? My balls.
325
00:16:56,928 --> 00:16:58,147
What balls?
326
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:01,716
Too soon, sorry.
Come on.
327
00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:04,936
Just give me a...
328
00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:09,637
Bear. Look at you.
329
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:15,686
What's the matter with you?
330
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:17,906
Tell me you're
in. Are you kidding me?
331
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,865
Fuck, yeah!
Yeah, I'm in!
332
00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:23,825
Bitches are going down!
333
00:17:28,656 --> 00:17:30,440
Stay Golden.
334
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:32,790
Zanester! Bobfather!
335
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,662
"Boobfather."
336
00:17:34,836 --> 00:17:37,230
What's up, man?
337
00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:39,754
The games are back, baby! What?
338
00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:41,669
And Shelly's in. You're kidding me.
339
00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:43,366
No, I'm not.Shelly's...
340
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:45,629
Yeah, count me in, man.
Count me in. Sounds delish.
341
00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:48,415
All right, buddy,
let's talk soon.Okay.
342
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,026
Holy shit.
343
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,594
Whoo!
344
00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:06,041
Bobby! Hey, Durfy, you got
a minute to talk?
345
00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:08,087
Uh... Okay, that's
a cut on rehearsal.
346
00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,524
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got a second.
347
00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:14,310
I'm just shooting a major motion
picture right now. Please face camera.
348
00:18:14,484 --> 00:18:16,617
Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.
So what's up, dude?
349
00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:18,793
Buddy Games, they're back. Are you in?
350
00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:21,187
Um, I feel like that would be a
little weird without Shelly now.
351
00:18:21,361 --> 00:18:23,537
No, no, he's in. Then I'm there.
352
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:26,148
I can't wait to see him. All
right, I'll talk to you soon, buddy.
353
00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:28,324
Thank you, second team.
First team on set.
354
00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:30,109
Hey, Mr. McDonough. Hey, how are you?
355
00:18:30,283 --> 00:18:32,937
Yeah, good. So your mark is right there.
356
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,896
Thank you. Yeah, you're gonna
be looking...
357
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:38,073
Right. Mm, mm, mm... right over there.
Okay.
358
00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:41,163
Don't be too
nervous. You already got the job.
359
00:18:41,337 --> 00:18:43,383
Maybe grab a quick pic, though, together?
360
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:46,342
Then we can tag each other. Inappropriate,
but, yeah, sure.
361
00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:48,170
Have you heard of Facebook? Yeah, I guess.
362
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:49,737
I'm gonna pop it on there. That's great.
363
00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:51,391
Hey, here with my top dog,
364
00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:52,957
Neil McDonough. Is that a video?
365
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,829
It is a video.
Is that okay? Yeah, n...
366
00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:57,092
You'd rather I take a picture?
Second team, what are you doing?
367
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:59,050
One second. I'll just do a
video. I'll be really quick.
368
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:16,807
Hello?
369
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:18,157
Hey.
370
00:19:19,723 --> 00:19:22,770
Looks like someone's
been busy. I have been busy.
371
00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:26,295
What do you think
about taking a vacation?
372
00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:29,733
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah? Oh, my gosh, good.
373
00:19:29,907 --> 00:19:31,735
'Cause I went through our calendars,
and there's a couple things we can move,
374
00:19:31,909 --> 00:19:33,955
and we can make it work out.
We can go anywhere.
375
00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:36,044
Do you smell something burning?
376
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:38,264
Oh! Damn it.
377
00:19:38,438 --> 00:19:40,570
Oh! Ugh!
378
00:19:40,744 --> 00:19:41,702
Oh!
379
00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:43,138
Are you...
380
00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:47,795
Dang!
I burned it.
381
00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:50,885
Could you... Could you turn back?
382
00:19:51,973 --> 00:19:53,670
I made three of these.
383
00:19:53,844 --> 00:19:56,717
The other two didn't actually
turn out so well either, but...
384
00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:58,936
oh, well.
385
00:19:59,110 --> 00:20:02,418
Well, you know what? We can always
scrape it off and still eat the inside.
386
00:20:04,812 --> 00:20:07,815
Oh, I was gonna ask you, what
was going on with Mrs. Baldinger?
387
00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:10,470
Oh, uh...
Yeah, no, that's...
388
00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:13,212
Shelly's not doing so hot.
He is on suicide watch.
389
00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:15,431
What? Poor Sheldon.Yeah.
390
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:16,998
He needs my help, babe.
391
00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:18,739
Yeah, of course.
Whatever he needs.
392
00:20:18,913 --> 00:20:21,742
Mary Ann thinks that I should
get the guys back together
393
00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:24,440
for the Buddy Games.
394
00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:26,747
And what'd you tell her? Well, no.
395
00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:29,271
Good. At first,
and then I said yes.
396
00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:32,100
And then you said yes?
Of course. You know?
397
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:34,842
Are you sure you don't want
to think about this for a second?
398
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:37,236
I have thought about it.
You have thought about it?
399
00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:39,847
It's a really good idea. What
better to get him off his feet?
400
00:20:40,021 --> 00:20:42,589
You really think that getting the guys
together for a weekend of teabagging
401
00:20:42,763 --> 00:20:44,460
will stop Sheldon from killing himself?
402
00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:47,028
Yeah. I do.
403
00:20:47,202 --> 00:20:48,943
Okay, so then, um, what's next for us?
404
00:20:49,117 --> 00:20:50,945
Um...
405
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,643
Oh, my God, you don't know. I do know.
406
00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:55,428
You don't know. Yeah, I know.
407
00:20:57,430 --> 00:20:59,432
We've grown up, and it's not
gonna be like it was before.
408
00:20:59,606 --> 00:21:01,042
How do you know? You haven't
seen these guys in forever.
409
00:21:01,216 --> 00:21:03,305
Can somebody open the goddamn door?
410
00:21:03,479 --> 00:21:05,046
Is that Bender?
411
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:07,527
Oh, sounds like he's
grown up. I'm gonna go.
412
00:21:07,701 --> 00:21:09,659
You know what? That's a
good idea. Let me deal with him,
413
00:21:09,833 --> 00:21:11,574
and I'll meet you for dinner later.
414
00:21:11,748 --> 00:21:14,316
No, Bob, I'm leaving.
What do you mean, you're...
415
00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:16,362
Okay.
416
00:21:16,536 --> 00:21:18,973
You have the Buddy Games, right?
417
00:21:19,147 --> 00:21:21,105
I'm taking the helicopter.
418
00:21:29,331 --> 00:21:31,812
Dixon fuckin' Bender.
419
00:21:31,986 --> 00:21:34,336
How are you, man? Well, I'd be lying
420
00:21:34,510 --> 00:21:37,121
if I said everything was
rainbows and unicorns.
421
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,819
You're still struggling, huh?
422
00:21:38,993 --> 00:21:41,212
Yeah, I've been eating shit, actually.
423
00:21:41,387 --> 00:21:44,607
Went through my mom's inheritance,
and, uh, now I'm living in my van.
424
00:21:44,781 --> 00:21:46,653
So, you know, fuck me.
425
00:21:46,827 --> 00:21:49,743
I don't want to talk about it.
Know what I want to talk about?
426
00:21:49,917 --> 00:21:52,093
I want to talk about Buddy Games.
427
00:21:52,267 --> 00:21:55,314
Uh, what about Buddy Games?
I heard through the grapevine
428
00:21:55,488 --> 00:21:59,013
not only are they back on,
but Shelly's back?
429
00:21:59,187 --> 00:22:01,494
Where the fuck has he been,
and why didn't you call me?
430
00:22:01,668 --> 00:22:04,279
Uh, listen... I want to know when
and where they are.
431
00:22:04,453 --> 00:22:05,802
I need to sleep on your couch.
432
00:22:05,976 --> 00:22:08,370
I'll take a bed.
I'll take whatever.
433
00:22:08,544 --> 00:22:10,024
But I need some sleep.
434
00:22:11,068 --> 00:22:15,159
Uh... there's an
entry fee this year.
435
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:16,813
Okay, yeah. All right.
436
00:22:16,987 --> 00:22:19,425
Like, how much?
Like, ten bucks?
437
00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:24,212
$10,000? Our friends
that I've known...
438
00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:26,257
We've known forever...
They now all of a sudden
439
00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:29,783
have $10,000 in side cash
they can just throw around?
440
00:22:29,957 --> 00:22:32,089
Durfy does?
He still owes me 20 bucks.
441
00:22:32,263 --> 00:22:34,004
That's what the guys
wanted to do. I'm sorry.Fine.
442
00:22:34,178 --> 00:22:36,529
We'll play your high-stakes shit, okay?
443
00:22:36,703 --> 00:22:39,923
But I want to play,
so can you front me the money?
444
00:22:40,097 --> 00:22:42,012
No. Things are, uh,
a little tight
445
00:22:42,186 --> 00:22:43,623
at the moment, so I can't.
446
00:22:43,797 --> 00:22:45,842
Yeah, I can tell.
You're roughing it.
447
00:22:46,016 --> 00:22:49,150
Just let me play. You can. You
can because you're the Bobfather.
448
00:22:49,324 --> 00:22:52,022
So you created this world.
You make the rules.
449
00:22:52,196 --> 00:22:54,721
So you could go, "Hey,
remember our friend Bender?
450
00:22:54,895 --> 00:22:56,679
Can he come and play?"
451
00:22:58,551 --> 00:23:01,597
I can't.
Just figured it out. Shelly.
452
00:23:01,771 --> 00:23:03,469
Now this makes sense.
Holy shit.
453
00:23:03,643 --> 00:23:05,340
Because five years ago,
454
00:23:05,514 --> 00:23:07,647
I accidentally cracked his nut.
455
00:23:07,821 --> 00:23:09,866
I'm really sorry, okay?
He lost both of his balls.
456
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,956
He lost both
his fucking balls. What?
457
00:23:13,130 --> 00:23:14,697
Goddamn you, man!
458
00:23:14,871 --> 00:23:16,133
Both of them?
459
00:23:17,961 --> 00:23:19,833
I don't want to talk about it.
You got to go. Bob, I didn't know.
460
00:23:20,007 --> 00:23:21,530
You got to go. All right, all right.
461
00:23:21,704 --> 00:23:23,706
I love you, dude,
but you gotta fucking go.
462
00:23:38,852 --> 00:23:40,767
You're leaving right now?
463
00:23:40,941 --> 00:23:42,421
Where are you going?
464
00:23:44,858 --> 00:23:47,600
Really? Really, Bob?
465
00:23:47,774 --> 00:23:51,604
You can't float me
any cash? Really?
466
00:23:51,778 --> 00:23:53,910
Damn it, man! Come on!
467
00:23:54,084 --> 00:23:55,695
What a dick!
468
00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:07,837
All right, I'll tell you what.
469
00:24:08,011 --> 00:24:10,927
I'll give you 25 for
the china, 50 for the ring,
470
00:24:11,101 --> 00:24:13,887
Fifty? A hundred for the locket,
a hundred for the paintings,
471
00:24:14,061 --> 00:24:17,456
and, uh, $100 for the rest of this crap.
472
00:24:17,630 --> 00:24:20,197
375. We got a deal? What? No,
we don't have a deal.
473
00:24:20,371 --> 00:24:23,853
$50 for a diamond? That
was my mother's wedding ring.
474
00:24:24,027 --> 00:24:25,855
It's fake, fella.
475
00:24:26,029 --> 00:24:27,596
What?
476
00:24:27,770 --> 00:24:30,338
Fuckin' motherfucker!
477
00:24:30,512 --> 00:24:32,819
She gave him 47 years.
478
00:24:32,993 --> 00:24:34,821
That should be a Purple Heart!
479
00:24:34,995 --> 00:24:36,605
That would actually be worth something.
480
00:24:36,779 --> 00:24:38,259
Fine. Okay.
481
00:24:38,433 --> 00:24:40,740
All right, fine.
What about the china?
482
00:24:40,914 --> 00:24:43,090
You can't tell me that's fake.
'Cause that says,
483
00:24:43,264 --> 00:24:45,135
"Made in China."
Okay.
484
00:24:45,309 --> 00:24:47,616
So I will take no less
485
00:24:47,790 --> 00:24:50,401
than a thousand for all this,
and that's final.
486
00:24:50,576 --> 00:24:52,316
I'll tell you what.
487
00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:54,231
I'll give you 375.
488
00:24:55,798 --> 00:24:57,626
She's still dead.
489
00:24:59,019 --> 00:25:00,977
500. $500.
490
00:25:01,151 --> 00:25:02,326
Okay.
491
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,677
I don't normally do this...
492
00:25:05,982 --> 00:25:07,418
but I'm gonna give you 375.
493
00:25:07,593 --> 00:25:10,944
Oh, you're really having fun, aren't you?
494
00:25:14,425 --> 00:25:16,340
Can I hold the locket one more time?
495
00:25:17,341 --> 00:25:19,387
Can you give me that, you surly fuck?
496
00:25:23,086 --> 00:25:25,262
Can I keep the picture? Sure.
497
00:25:25,436 --> 00:25:27,613
That'll be $5.
498
00:25:31,965 --> 00:25:34,010
Hey!
499
00:25:34,184 --> 00:25:36,839
Asshole! Sorry. I'm in training.
500
00:25:37,013 --> 00:25:39,015
We're gonna test your
range of motion, all right?
501
00:25:39,189 --> 00:25:41,409
I want you to hold on to this ball here,
502
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:43,933
and you're gonna go from side to side.
503
00:25:44,107 --> 00:25:46,370
Oh! He steals the ball!
504
00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:48,590
Oh!
505
00:25:48,764 --> 00:25:51,550
Mr. Hornbacher,
I am so sorry.
506
00:25:52,855 --> 00:25:55,423
Yeah, some lemonade, please.
507
00:25:57,164 --> 00:25:58,600
Thank you.
508
00:25:59,645 --> 00:26:01,734
Thank you.
509
00:26:12,396 --> 00:26:15,225
Hey, what do we have here?
510
00:26:15,399 --> 00:26:17,793
Saddle up, you old grisly bird.
511
00:26:17,967 --> 00:26:20,753
Yeah.
512
00:26:20,927 --> 00:26:22,493
Yeah, beauty.
513
00:26:22,668 --> 00:26:24,495
Cheers.
514
00:26:24,670 --> 00:26:26,672
You're breaking the law, mister!
515
00:26:26,846 --> 00:26:30,719
You need a liquor license to sell vodka.
516
00:26:30,893 --> 00:26:34,070
And you need to recognize
a business opportunity.
517
00:26:34,244 --> 00:26:37,465
So MYOB, little bitches!
518
00:26:37,639 --> 00:26:40,642
He just said the "B" word! Shame on you!
519
00:26:40,816 --> 00:26:42,339
You're both gonna be strippers
when you grow up,
520
00:26:42,513 --> 00:26:44,559
really bad ones that no one pays to see.
521
00:26:44,733 --> 00:26:45,908
Ew!
522
00:26:46,082 --> 00:26:48,476
I'm texting the police!
523
00:26:48,650 --> 00:26:49,999
Fuck.
524
00:26:53,524 --> 00:26:55,222
Hey, what are you doing? Stop!
525
00:26:55,396 --> 00:26:57,224
Hey, come back here!
526
00:26:57,398 --> 00:26:58,921
Get on the pole!
527
00:26:59,095 --> 00:27:00,619
What are you doing?
Stop!
528
00:27:00,793 --> 00:27:04,187
Give us our money!
Come back! You're bad kids!
529
00:27:06,755 --> 00:27:09,540
He took our money! Stop! Hey!
530
00:27:11,804 --> 00:27:12,848
Pig!
531
00:27:13,022 --> 00:27:14,458
Mom!
532
00:27:17,548 --> 00:27:19,638
She didn't tell me.
533
00:27:19,812 --> 00:27:22,249
I thought I had cancer,
damn it. Okay.
534
00:27:22,423 --> 00:27:24,164
I thought I had cancer, damn it.
535
00:27:24,338 --> 00:27:27,471
You all knew what I was,
and you didn't tell me?
536
00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:30,126
I thought I had cancer, damn it!
537
00:27:31,780 --> 00:27:33,303
Hmm.
538
00:27:34,087 --> 00:27:35,436
Fuck.
539
00:27:37,568 --> 00:27:39,570
What the fuck.
Was that any good?
540
00:27:44,401 --> 00:27:46,142
Yeah. Hey, little brother.
541
00:27:46,316 --> 00:27:47,709
Little busy today.
What do you need?
542
00:27:47,883 --> 00:27:50,103
I need to borrow a couple bucks.
543
00:27:51,452 --> 00:27:53,323
Thought you said this
Hollywood thing was working out.
544
00:27:53,497 --> 00:27:56,152
It is. I just
murdered an audition
545
00:27:56,326 --> 00:27:58,546
for a CW pilot right before I called you.
546
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,418
And I'm in postproduction
on something right now.
547
00:28:01,592 --> 00:28:02,942
What the fuck is postproduction?
548
00:28:03,116 --> 00:28:06,510
I star in a national commercial
for the Marines.
549
00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:08,556
Well, I'm sure Dad would have been proud.
550
00:28:08,730 --> 00:28:10,645
He'd have been more proud if
you were an actual fucking Marine.
551
00:28:10,819 --> 00:28:13,474
Jack, you are hurting my
feelings a little bit, but yes.
552
00:28:13,648 --> 00:28:16,564
Jesus Christ. Listen to me.
Do you know how hard it is
553
00:28:16,738 --> 00:28:18,697
trying to keep this
family business profitable
554
00:28:18,871 --> 00:28:20,829
without having to finance
your little pipe dreams?
555
00:28:21,003 --> 00:28:22,744
Dad left this to you, not me.
556
00:28:22,918 --> 00:28:25,138
How long's it gonna be
before you figure out
557
00:28:25,312 --> 00:28:28,184
that this acting thing
is a fucking waste of time?
558
00:28:28,358 --> 00:28:33,059
You know, sister's out
here. Belly's as big as shit,
559
00:28:33,233 --> 00:28:34,974
but she's sweating her
balls off just like the rest of us.
560
00:28:35,148 --> 00:28:37,237
So why don't you think about
that while you're out there
561
00:28:37,411 --> 00:28:39,979
in La-La Land eating your
goddamn avocado sandwiches?
562
00:28:40,153 --> 00:28:42,416
You don't know what I... I got work to do.
Real work.
563
00:28:42,590 --> 00:28:44,940
Look it up. Fuck-head.
564
00:29:00,826 --> 00:29:02,741
Full penetration's an extra hundred.
565
00:29:02,915 --> 00:29:05,308
Uh-huh! Uh-huh!
Uh-huh!
566
00:29:05,482 --> 00:29:07,441
I'm giving you the early-bird special.
567
00:29:07,615 --> 00:29:09,704
Shut up and dig! Dig, boy!
568
00:29:11,445 --> 00:29:13,099
How many labias do you have?
569
00:29:13,273 --> 00:29:15,884
Oh, I just
farted! Just keep going!
570
00:29:16,058 --> 00:29:17,668
Oh, it's bad!
571
00:29:21,934 --> 00:29:23,500
Oh, no!
572
00:29:23,674 --> 00:29:27,809
No!
573
00:29:38,733 --> 00:29:40,430
Looking great, hon.
574
00:29:40,604 --> 00:29:43,520
Yeah? Gorgeous.
575
00:29:43,694 --> 00:29:45,131
Come on, angel.
Time to go.
576
00:29:47,046 --> 00:29:50,789
Hey, honey, it's me, checking in again.
577
00:29:52,442 --> 00:29:54,488
I just want to make sure
that you're okay out there,
578
00:29:54,662 --> 00:29:56,707
wherever you are.
579
00:29:56,882 --> 00:29:59,188
I just want to know why
you stormed off like that,
580
00:29:59,362 --> 00:30:01,625
why you hate these guys so much.
581
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,584
Look, we need to talk.
582
00:30:40,447 --> 00:30:42,449
Oh, here we are.
583
00:30:45,756 --> 00:30:47,497
Okay.
584
00:30:47,671 --> 00:30:50,196
Oh, wow.
585
00:30:50,370 --> 00:30:53,242
Oh, I bet this brings back
some fond memories, huh?
586
00:30:54,809 --> 00:30:57,551
Last time I was here, I was
getting wheeled out on a stretcher.
587
00:30:58,552 --> 00:30:59,945
Well, not that memory.
588
00:31:00,119 --> 00:31:03,426
Welcome back, buddy! Oh, hey.
589
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,341
You made it.Yeah.
590
00:31:05,515 --> 00:31:07,343
Hey, I got to defend my title, right?
591
00:31:07,517 --> 00:31:09,215
I'm gonna take that back. Hey! Hey!
592
00:31:09,389 --> 00:31:12,783
Oh, talking smack already.
How much fun is this, huh?
593
00:31:12,958 --> 00:31:16,048
All right, Mama. Okay,
I'll let you boys be.
594
00:31:16,222 --> 00:31:18,398
Come on. Hold that for a second.
595
00:31:18,572 --> 00:31:21,923
Just a second. You only
hold it while I get out of the car.
596
00:31:22,097 --> 00:31:24,143
Good luck, sweetie.
597
00:31:24,317 --> 00:31:25,927
So good to see you. Give 'em hell, hon.
598
00:31:26,101 --> 00:31:27,711
Bye, Mom. Thanks. Bye, Mary Ann.
599
00:31:27,886 --> 00:31:29,583
Thanks. Bye, Mama. Thank you.
600
00:31:29,757 --> 00:31:33,108
Welcome back, man. The place hasn't
changed much.
601
00:31:33,282 --> 00:31:34,762
Yeah. Yeah.
602
00:31:36,285 --> 00:31:37,765
Hey, there's, uh...
603
00:31:39,375 --> 00:31:42,335
There's something that I wasn't
entirely honest with you about.
604
00:31:42,509 --> 00:31:45,947
My company did well. How well?
605
00:31:46,121 --> 00:31:50,560
Well, I sold it for...
approximately 387 million.
606
00:31:50,734 --> 00:31:52,519
Wow! That's...
607
00:31:52,693 --> 00:31:55,478
I'm... Holy... Yeah, it's been a...
608
00:31:55,652 --> 00:31:58,177
Congratulations, brother... a
pretty good couple of years, thanks.
609
00:31:59,395 --> 00:32:01,310
Life just hasn't been
the same without you.
610
00:32:01,484 --> 00:32:03,225
That part was true.
611
00:32:04,792 --> 00:32:07,186
You didn't tell the guys about my...
612
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:09,884
Your balls? No. No.
Definitely not.
613
00:32:11,277 --> 00:32:13,061
I'm not sure I can believe you now, Bob.
614
00:32:13,235 --> 00:32:15,020
Yeah? Well, believe this.
615
00:32:15,194 --> 00:32:17,457
You're with friends now. Hey, boobs!
616
00:32:17,631 --> 00:32:20,808
Is that your dad? Hey, Mr. Schmidt.
617
00:32:20,982 --> 00:32:22,810
No, no, no.
That's... That's Shelly.
618
00:32:23,898 --> 00:32:25,769
Oh, my God.
What the hell?
619
00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:28,337
Holy shit, Sheldon!
620
00:32:28,511 --> 00:32:30,949
Fuck you guys. Are you kidding me?
621
00:32:31,123 --> 00:32:32,907
He's back!
622
00:32:33,081 --> 00:32:35,127
Get the fuck off of me.
623
00:32:35,301 --> 00:32:37,390
Get off of me.
Get off of me.
624
00:32:38,608 --> 00:32:40,567
Hands off, hands off.
625
00:32:40,741 --> 00:32:42,699
That's right.
626
00:32:45,224 --> 00:32:46,877
Oh, so, um,
627
00:32:47,052 --> 00:32:49,097
I had to say goodbye
to the guys in Bon Jovi
628
00:32:49,271 --> 00:32:52,971
and start the journey home, man.
629
00:32:53,145 --> 00:32:55,538
I just realized I couldn't
run from it anymore.
630
00:32:55,712 --> 00:32:57,976
That's reality.
That's it.
631
00:32:58,150 --> 00:33:00,979
You still got his number, Bon Jovi?
632
00:33:03,503 --> 00:33:05,070
Come on, Doc. Some decorum.
633
00:33:05,244 --> 00:33:08,116
Shel, I'm so sorry you had
to go through all that, man.
634
00:33:08,290 --> 00:33:09,639
Thanks.
635
00:33:09,813 --> 00:33:11,685
But tell me about
the chicks from Tibet, man.
636
00:33:11,859 --> 00:33:13,774
'Cause I've heard they're
smoking hot. True or false?
637
00:33:13,948 --> 00:33:15,602
Nah, I never heard
that. I never heard that.
638
00:33:15,776 --> 00:33:17,386
You guys haven't heard...
639
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,432
The point is that our
king is back. Look at this.
640
00:33:19,606 --> 00:33:22,000
He sure as hell is.
641
00:33:22,174 --> 00:33:24,002
Let's make a toast.
Oh, wait. Somebody's here.
642
00:33:24,176 --> 00:33:27,005
Nut check! Oh!
643
00:33:27,179 --> 00:33:29,703
Oh! Oh!
644
00:33:29,877 --> 00:33:33,533
Nut tap! You're lucky they
were low. I didn't really feel much.
645
00:33:33,707 --> 00:33:37,667
You dodged a bullet.
I just felt log.
646
00:33:37,841 --> 00:33:39,930
I'm very happy to see
we're still doing that.
647
00:33:40,105 --> 00:33:42,063
No shit, because that is...
648
00:33:42,237 --> 00:33:44,892
That's the kind of stuff I
missed, man, all my travels.
649
00:33:45,066 --> 00:33:47,764
It was the camaraderie,
being with you guys, just...
650
00:33:47,938 --> 00:33:50,245
the connection with
other people, you know?
651
00:33:50,419 --> 00:33:52,856
I feel bad I didn't reach
back out to you guys.
652
00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:56,599
'Cause I got all the cards and the notes
and everything. I just had a lot on my mind.
653
00:33:56,773 --> 00:33:59,037
It just wasn't... You kidding?
We love you, man.
654
00:33:59,211 --> 00:34:00,908
What...
655
00:34:04,955 --> 00:34:06,783
I know that horn. Yeah.
656
00:34:06,957 --> 00:34:08,394
It's got to be.
657
00:34:08,568 --> 00:34:10,396
Whoo! What?
658
00:34:11,266 --> 00:34:13,747
What? Buddy Games!
659
00:34:13,921 --> 00:34:15,966
Yeah!
660
00:34:16,141 --> 00:34:19,100
There he is! Hey, you guys,
Bender's here!
661
00:34:19,274 --> 00:34:21,363
You fucking bastard.
662
00:34:21,537 --> 00:34:23,713
He's not supposed to be here.
663
00:34:23,887 --> 00:34:25,628
Come on. I'm not gonna
miss the Buddy Games.
664
00:34:25,802 --> 00:34:27,065
That's insane.
What's up, Durf?
665
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:29,110
Bender!
666
00:34:29,284 --> 00:34:31,765
Who's that guy? Hey, man. How are ya?
667
00:34:32,809 --> 00:34:33,941
Are you lost?
668
00:34:34,115 --> 00:34:36,030
Sheldon.
What's up, bud?
669
00:34:36,204 --> 00:34:38,380
I got nothing to say to you, buddy.
670
00:34:38,554 --> 00:34:40,556
You got a lot of fucking nerve
showing your face here.
671
00:34:40,730 --> 00:34:43,472
I knew you were gonna say
that, and I'm here for peace.
672
00:34:43,646 --> 00:34:45,344
Okay? Hear me out.
673
00:34:48,956 --> 00:34:51,741
Look, man, the past is in the past, dude.
674
00:34:51,915 --> 00:34:54,440
There's nothing we can do about
it. What happened, happened.
675
00:34:54,614 --> 00:34:56,703
All I care about is the future
676
00:34:56,877 --> 00:34:58,792
and our prosperity,
677
00:34:58,966 --> 00:35:00,620
and that's why I'm here.
678
00:35:01,447 --> 00:35:03,884
Sheldon, I give you...
679
00:35:04,058 --> 00:35:07,409
Cuban cigars. No, Doc, but good guess.
680
00:35:07,583 --> 00:35:10,108
This is something
a little bit more special.
681
00:35:18,855 --> 00:35:19,769
What is this?
682
00:35:19,943 --> 00:35:21,423
It's my... my seed.
683
00:35:21,597 --> 00:35:24,644
My... baby sauce.
684
00:35:24,818 --> 00:35:26,646
What? Dick matter.
685
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:37,396
Are you... Are you for real?
Wow, Dixon fucking Bender.
686
00:35:37,570 --> 00:35:39,572
Oh, that's a lot of loads.
687
00:35:39,746 --> 00:35:41,095
Uh, it's nine, to be exact.
688
00:35:41,269 --> 00:35:42,488
Whoa, there.
689
00:35:42,662 --> 00:35:44,316
Dude, two days,
that took me.Ugh.
690
00:35:44,490 --> 00:35:47,188
Bender, you are a fucking hero, man.
691
00:35:48,494 --> 00:35:50,539
That's kind of weird,
man. Was there a memo?
692
00:35:50,713 --> 00:35:52,802
Were we supposed to bring semen?
I didn't bring semen. Durfy?
693
00:35:52,976 --> 00:35:56,066
Bender, that's a very gross
present. Why did you give him that?
694
00:35:56,241 --> 00:35:58,982
It's not gross.
It's not gross, okay?
695
00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:02,029
Our friend, our very good
friend here, Sheldon,
696
00:36:02,203 --> 00:36:05,250
he lost both of his testicles.
697
00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:07,165
Oh...
698
00:36:08,601 --> 00:36:09,689
Is that true, Shelly?
699
00:36:13,519 --> 00:36:15,695
It's true. I, uh...
They're both gone.
700
00:36:15,869 --> 00:36:19,220
I'm... I'm, uh... I'm like
a Ken doll down there now.
701
00:36:19,394 --> 00:36:21,701
Hey, Ken had a good life.
702
00:36:21,875 --> 00:36:25,661
He had a hot blonde,
a Corvette. Right?
703
00:36:27,010 --> 00:36:29,317
Ah, look, I mean, I can't complain.
704
00:36:29,491 --> 00:36:31,885
Now I can have kids. You can have dozens.
705
00:36:32,059 --> 00:36:34,931
So, that's my peace offering,
706
00:36:35,105 --> 00:36:38,674
and I just want to know, are we cool?
707
00:36:41,808 --> 00:36:44,158
Yeah. Yeah.
708
00:36:44,332 --> 00:36:46,073
All right. Whew!
709
00:36:46,247 --> 00:36:47,553
Oh, thank God. Are you kidding me?
710
00:36:47,727 --> 00:36:49,250
Come on. Love you, brother.
711
00:36:49,424 --> 00:36:51,252
It worked. Thought we
were gonna see some blows.
712
00:36:51,426 --> 00:36:53,689
Thank you very much.
That's really fucking awesome.
713
00:36:53,863 --> 00:36:55,996
I love that. Know what
else I love? Alcohol!
714
00:36:56,170 --> 00:36:57,476
Let's go to the tiki bar.
Come on.
715
00:36:57,650 --> 00:36:59,478
Tiki bar! All right.
716
00:36:59,652 --> 00:37:00,653
Go for it.
717
00:37:01,784 --> 00:37:03,917
I can't believe that
worked... Thanks, Bob.
718
00:37:04,091 --> 00:37:05,788
'Cause that's your fault, right?
719
00:37:07,050 --> 00:37:08,487
Whoa! What the hell?
720
00:37:08,661 --> 00:37:11,272
Dude, what is all this money?
What is that?
721
00:37:11,446 --> 00:37:13,796
Dude, it was not easy.
722
00:37:13,970 --> 00:37:16,321
I mean, a $10,000 entry fee?
723
00:37:16,495 --> 00:37:18,366
That was not easy to scrape up,
724
00:37:18,540 --> 00:37:20,673
but I banged and bartered
my way for those Benjamins.
725
00:37:20,847 --> 00:37:23,589
Pretty much sold my soul,
and, uh, don't give a shit.
726
00:37:23,763 --> 00:37:25,678
But at the end of the
day, I'm gonna win that...
727
00:37:28,420 --> 00:37:30,465
Entry fee?
What entry fee?
728
00:37:30,639 --> 00:37:32,598
I'm lost. Bender...
729
00:37:33,860 --> 00:37:36,166
I'm sorry, Bender.
There was never an entry fee.
730
00:37:36,341 --> 00:37:38,430
What?
731
00:37:38,604 --> 00:37:42,869
I'm sorry, but I didn't have the heart
to tell you, man, you weren't invited.
732
00:37:43,043 --> 00:37:45,263
We didn't feel comfortable
with you here this year.
733
00:37:45,437 --> 00:37:48,657
You know, you could've told me
that. That would have been a lot easier.
734
00:37:48,831 --> 00:37:50,355
I didn't think you were gonna
come up with ten thou...
735
00:37:50,529 --> 00:37:53,358
I mean, 10,000 bucks?
Really? That's crazy!
736
00:37:53,532 --> 00:37:55,142
Oh, my God. Are you fucking kidding me?
737
00:37:55,316 --> 00:37:58,188
I made up everything about
the fee and the pot. I'm sorry.
738
00:37:58,363 --> 00:38:01,931
You're sorry? I sold
all of my shit! All of it!
739
00:38:02,105 --> 00:38:03,933
I sold all my mom's stuff.
740
00:38:04,107 --> 00:38:07,154
I gave a bum a hand job for $30.
741
00:38:07,328 --> 00:38:10,070
Ooh, expand on that. No, I'm not going to.
You want to smell my hand?
742
00:38:10,244 --> 00:38:12,333
I don't think so.
No, probably not.
743
00:38:12,507 --> 00:38:14,248
Bob, you fucked me, man!
744
00:38:14,422 --> 00:38:16,772
You promised me 60 grand,
so you better fix this.
745
00:38:16,946 --> 00:38:19,862
I can't get that stuff back.
I can't take that hand job back.
746
00:38:20,036 --> 00:38:22,996
This has always been about pride. You said
it yourself. This is about the brotherhood.
747
00:38:23,170 --> 00:38:24,780
This is not about money or anything else.
748
00:38:24,954 --> 00:38:26,391
Oh, fuck that!
749
00:38:26,565 --> 00:38:28,218
Yeah, it's not about money,
because you have money.
750
00:38:28,393 --> 00:38:30,612
All right? Zane. Yeah?
751
00:38:30,786 --> 00:38:33,049
Could you use $60,000
for your tanning business?
752
00:38:33,223 --> 00:38:35,269
Yes.Yeah.
753
00:38:35,443 --> 00:38:37,880
Durf, what about you, bud? Yeah.
754
00:38:38,054 --> 00:38:41,319
It's a hard yes from you.
It should be. Doc? Yeah.
755
00:38:41,493 --> 00:38:43,930
Exactly. And Shelly needs
new straitjackets. You see, Bob?
756
00:38:44,104 --> 00:38:46,933
We all fucking need.
757
00:38:47,107 --> 00:38:51,067
But not you, man. You don't
have the need for anything.
758
00:38:55,811 --> 00:38:58,336
Zane, could I spot you 10,000 bucks?
759
00:38:58,510 --> 00:39:00,294
Just this once. What about you, Durfy?
Can I spot you?
760
00:39:00,468 --> 00:39:03,297
What about you?
Doc? Shelly? Yeah, I won't say no.
761
00:39:03,471 --> 00:39:05,038
50,000 bucks.
762
00:39:05,212 --> 00:39:07,170
That's great.
What about you? What about me?
763
00:39:07,345 --> 00:39:08,781
What are you gonna spot yourself?
764
00:39:09,738 --> 00:39:11,131
Can you believe this fucking guy?
765
00:39:11,305 --> 00:39:12,350
Well, yeah.
766
00:39:12,524 --> 00:39:14,613
It's so crazy!
I sold all my shit.
767
00:39:15,918 --> 00:39:18,094
I'm gonna match the fucking pot.
How does that sound?
768
00:39:18,268 --> 00:39:20,619
Hundred thousand bucks!
769
00:39:20,793 --> 00:39:22,185
We're gonna play for 100,000 bucks.
770
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,318
I like it, I don't love it.
771
00:39:24,492 --> 00:39:25,841
One-fifty. Yes! Done.
772
00:39:26,015 --> 00:39:28,931
150,000 bucks! 150 grand!
773
00:39:29,105 --> 00:39:32,718
Oh! Looks like we got
ourselves a Buddy Game.
774
00:39:33,806 --> 00:39:34,937
Yes!
775
00:39:41,596 --> 00:39:43,816
All right, boys, here we go!
776
00:39:43,990 --> 00:39:45,600
The Buddy Games are back, baby!
777
00:39:47,776 --> 00:39:50,475
Kong's Crucible.
778
00:39:50,649 --> 00:39:52,477
It's a giant obstacle course,
779
00:39:52,651 --> 00:39:54,609
complete with corn dogs, bubble balls,
780
00:39:54,783 --> 00:39:57,046
watermelons, electric eels.
781
00:39:57,220 --> 00:39:59,353
What's that? Don't ask.
782
00:39:59,527 --> 00:40:01,573
Once you get through there,
it's mud pits,
783
00:40:01,747 --> 00:40:03,313
motorcycles, beer bongs,
784
00:40:03,488 --> 00:40:06,752
and one big-ass waterslide.
785
00:40:06,926 --> 00:40:09,581
You're gonna catch a lot of air,
I'm gonna warn you right now,
786
00:40:09,755 --> 00:40:11,104
but, very important to note,
787
00:40:11,278 --> 00:40:13,323
the only way you win
is if you capture the flag.
788
00:40:13,498 --> 00:40:15,804
Whoever captures the flag wins the event.
789
00:40:15,978 --> 00:40:18,328
Top three finalists
at the end of today's events
790
00:40:18,503 --> 00:40:21,201
competes in tomorrow's
final event, the endgame.
791
00:40:21,375 --> 00:40:23,377
Oh, by the way, Shelly,
we got near beer for you.
792
00:40:23,551 --> 00:40:25,640
Copy. Wait, what?
793
00:40:25,814 --> 00:40:28,382
He's in the program, Bender. I
can't mix my meds with alcohol.
794
00:40:28,556 --> 00:40:29,992
He can't drink alcohol period.
795
00:40:30,166 --> 00:40:31,951
That seems like an unfair advantage.
796
00:40:32,125 --> 00:40:34,910
It's still beer, dick face! Why
don't you just get him a Fresca.
797
00:40:35,084 --> 00:40:38,479
Are you trying to mind-fuck me,
mijo? 'Cause I invented mind-fucking.
798
00:40:38,653 --> 00:40:41,047
I'll come all over your mind.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
799
00:40:41,221 --> 00:40:43,049
What the fuck is wrong with you?
800
00:40:43,223 --> 00:40:45,094
Insane Clown Pussy.
801
00:40:45,268 --> 00:40:47,314
Are you ready for this?
802
00:40:48,228 --> 00:40:49,490
Boom! Eat!
803
00:41:15,081 --> 00:41:16,604
Goddamn, dude!
804
00:41:20,913 --> 00:41:22,741
What the fuck?
805
00:42:11,050 --> 00:42:13,400
High voltage? What...
806
00:42:20,363 --> 00:42:23,366
Oh! Oh, God! Get over here!
807
00:42:46,912 --> 00:42:48,522
Go, go, go, go!
808
00:43:03,145 --> 00:43:06,018
Fuck you!
Eat it! Eat it!
809
00:43:12,807 --> 00:43:14,243
Coming for you!
810
00:43:14,417 --> 00:43:15,854
Come on!
811
00:43:16,028 --> 00:43:17,769
I can suck way harder than you, Bender!
812
00:43:17,943 --> 00:43:19,640
Let's get it!
813
00:43:23,557 --> 00:43:24,950
Fuck it.
814
00:43:34,394 --> 00:43:35,569
Ah, good!
815
00:43:35,743 --> 00:43:37,092
Cheaters!
816
00:43:38,964 --> 00:43:40,835
Not today!
817
00:43:42,271 --> 00:43:44,622
Don't touch me, Bender! Aaah!
818
00:43:47,886 --> 00:43:51,498
I am Kong King!
819
00:43:56,764 --> 00:43:58,592
Stop Shelly!
820
00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:08,210
Oh, no! Oh, no!
821
00:44:08,384 --> 00:44:10,909
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!
822
00:44:15,087 --> 00:44:16,697
Son of a bitch!
823
00:44:51,950 --> 00:44:53,647
You finished?
824
00:44:53,821 --> 00:44:55,823
Bob put zero effort into this event.
825
00:44:55,997 --> 00:44:57,433
This is fucking dumb.
826
00:44:57,607 --> 00:44:59,435
Oh, come on.
I lost my whole lure.
827
00:45:04,005 --> 00:45:05,615
Is there money in there?
828
00:45:05,790 --> 00:45:07,705
Open it. Be careful, Doc.
829
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:14,276
Yeah!
830
00:45:15,364 --> 00:45:17,540
Oh, no!
831
00:45:20,065 --> 00:45:22,415
Don't touch it!
Don't touch it! Oh, God!
832
00:45:42,914 --> 00:45:44,263
Yeah, baby.
833
00:45:44,437 --> 00:45:46,134
Okay.
Remember them well.
834
00:45:46,308 --> 00:45:48,397
All right, here we are, boys...
The old watering hole.
835
00:45:48,571 --> 00:45:50,443
The old Spread Eagle Bar and Grill.
836
00:45:52,532 --> 00:45:54,577
It's also the home of our next challenge.
837
00:45:54,752 --> 00:45:56,754
So full of curveballs.
838
00:45:56,928 --> 00:45:58,233
Who here thinks they got what it takes
839
00:45:58,407 --> 00:45:59,539
when it comes to charming the ladies?
840
00:46:01,541 --> 00:46:02,890
Well, that's part of it.
841
00:46:03,064 --> 00:46:04,631
You think you can get
a girl to buy you a drink?
842
00:46:04,805 --> 00:46:06,676
Okay, easy enough.
843
00:46:06,851 --> 00:46:08,678
Take them on the dance floor
and maybe get a kiss on the lips?
844
00:46:08,853 --> 00:46:10,985
Oh, please. Bob, come on.
845
00:46:11,159 --> 00:46:13,248
Okay, well, who can do that
846
00:46:13,422 --> 00:46:15,685
without shitting your pants first?
847
00:46:18,253 --> 00:46:20,125
Yeah, you all got real
serious now, didn't you?
848
00:46:20,299 --> 00:46:22,127
Bob, that's perverse. Nope,
that's the next challenge.
849
00:46:22,301 --> 00:46:24,433
I like to call it
"intestinal fortitude."
850
00:46:24,607 --> 00:46:27,088
Man, this is the dumbest shit
ever. Are you fucking kidding me?
851
00:46:27,262 --> 00:46:29,177
No.Corn dogs and laxatives?
852
00:46:29,351 --> 00:46:31,527
You are the ones that wanted
to play for 150,000 bucks.
853
00:46:31,701 --> 00:46:33,138
I'm just trying to make you earn it.
854
00:46:33,312 --> 00:46:35,227
Sounds like somebody
doesn't want to compete.
855
00:46:35,401 --> 00:46:38,012
And if you don't compete...
You must concede.
856
00:46:38,186 --> 00:46:41,668
I'm not conceding! I'm a fucking
cock rooster. Gonna get me a chicken.
857
00:46:41,842 --> 00:46:44,192
Here we go. Oh, man.
858
00:47:03,995 --> 00:47:05,257
Oh, my God.
859
00:47:06,867 --> 00:47:09,478
Your bag is everything. Oh, thank you.
860
00:47:09,652 --> 00:47:11,741
I'm sorry. May I? Absolutely.
861
00:47:11,916 --> 00:47:13,831
Look at that. It's watermelon.
862
00:47:14,005 --> 00:47:15,920
I think I might be the last
piece to this puzzle.
863
00:47:16,094 --> 00:47:18,009
Oh!
864
00:47:19,749 --> 00:47:21,490
My mouth is very dry.
865
00:47:21,664 --> 00:47:24,102
Can I get you a drink?
You are so very sweet.
866
00:47:24,276 --> 00:47:26,234
Absolutely.I... Just this once.
867
00:47:26,408 --> 00:47:29,063
Okay. What do you like?
Oh, anything that's wet.
868
00:47:29,237 --> 00:47:30,282
Oh... Oh!
869
00:47:30,456 --> 00:47:32,327
Hey, can you buy me a drink?
870
00:47:32,501 --> 00:47:33,807
I live in my van.
871
00:47:33,981 --> 00:47:35,287
What? No.
872
00:47:36,462 --> 00:47:38,290
I'll chow your box for a week.
873
00:47:38,464 --> 00:47:40,205
You like vodka?
874
00:47:40,379 --> 00:47:42,685
Yeah.Yeah.
875
00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:44,339
Two wet ones.
876
00:47:44,513 --> 00:47:46,341
Yeah, hi.
This is Dr. Kelly.
877
00:47:53,392 --> 00:47:55,785
You look like you need a blow job.
878
00:47:58,049 --> 00:47:59,702
Shot, silly.Oh.
879
00:47:59,877 --> 00:48:00,965
What did you think I meant?
880
00:48:01,139 --> 00:48:03,054
Uh, you know, oral...
881
00:48:04,838 --> 00:48:07,580
Can you please just
call me back? I miss you.
882
00:48:07,754 --> 00:48:08,929
All right, bye.
883
00:48:09,103 --> 00:48:12,411
Oh, shit. I'm so sorry.
884
00:48:13,629 --> 00:48:15,327
I would buy you a drink...
885
00:48:16,632 --> 00:48:19,505
but my friends and I are playing
this ridiculous game
886
00:48:19,679 --> 00:48:21,811
where we're trying to get
women to buy us drinks.
887
00:48:21,986 --> 00:48:24,075
That's refreshingly honest.
888
00:48:24,249 --> 00:48:27,643
It's ridiculous. I feel like
buying you a drink.
889
00:48:27,817 --> 00:48:30,211
Okay. What'll it be?
890
00:48:30,995 --> 00:48:33,345
Uh-oh. You look lonely.
891
00:48:33,519 --> 00:48:36,870
The cure for that is, you buy me a drink,
892
00:48:37,044 --> 00:48:38,219
and I'll sit...
893
00:48:39,264 --> 00:48:40,830
I'll save this seat for you.
894
00:48:41,875 --> 00:48:43,746
You know what drinking
makes me want to do?
895
00:48:43,921 --> 00:48:46,836
What's that? It makes me want to feel,
and it makes me want to move.
896
00:48:47,011 --> 00:48:49,230
You want to move with me? Ooh, absolutely!
897
00:48:49,404 --> 00:48:51,841
Oh, I know you.
Hi, Durf.
898
00:48:54,496 --> 00:48:56,934
Here we go. Here it is.
899
00:48:57,108 --> 00:48:58,892
There's a kink there
that's very sensitive
900
00:48:59,066 --> 00:49:00,720
on the right side,
yeah. Oh, I can feel that.
901
00:49:00,894 --> 00:49:02,374
Why don't you order us a couple drinks,
902
00:49:02,548 --> 00:49:04,289
and I'll get you all fixed up?
903
00:49:04,463 --> 00:49:06,378
Um, sure.
904
00:49:06,552 --> 00:49:08,815
Eddie, two vodka cranberry.
905
00:49:08,989 --> 00:49:11,035
Careful.
I'm very sensitive.
906
00:49:11,209 --> 00:49:13,951
Nice and loosey-goosey.
Nice and loosey-goosey.
907
00:49:14,125 --> 00:49:15,561
Aaah!
908
00:49:15,735 --> 00:49:17,563
Oh, yeah, there you go. Oh, God!
909
00:49:17,737 --> 00:49:21,436
How's that? Nice? I think you just
made it worse.
910
00:49:21,610 --> 00:49:25,049
Stand up. Let's check
that weight distribution. Okay, hang on.
911
00:49:25,223 --> 00:49:28,617
I love your hair.
Do you sleep in the woods? Sometimes.
912
00:49:28,791 --> 00:49:31,446
I got a half a bottle
of Fireball parked outside
913
00:49:31,620 --> 00:49:34,101
in my Kia Sorento, if you're
interested in coming out back.
914
00:49:34,928 --> 00:49:36,190
Yes. Yes, I am.
915
00:49:36,364 --> 00:49:37,670
Yes, I am.Good.
916
00:49:37,844 --> 00:49:41,587
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Save it, kitty. Save it.
917
00:49:41,761 --> 00:49:44,807
Let's hit the dance floor, and you
can ride me like a fucking animal.
918
00:49:44,982 --> 00:49:47,593
I will. I will.
Okay, let's go.
919
00:49:57,690 --> 00:50:00,301
If you let your hips go,
920
00:50:00,475 --> 00:50:02,347
your neck will follow.
921
00:50:02,521 --> 00:50:04,566
Wait a minute. Are you
trying to dance with me?
922
00:50:04,740 --> 00:50:06,699
Yeah. No, I'm...
923
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:10,964
Oh, no.
924
00:50:11,138 --> 00:50:12,531
Oh, no!
925
00:50:13,358 --> 00:50:14,881
Where's the bathroom?
926
00:50:15,055 --> 00:50:16,926
That's it for Doc.
927
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:22,671
I don't want
to buy you a drink. What's the big deal?
928
00:50:22,845 --> 00:50:25,326
Fuck off, please. What did you say to me?
929
00:50:25,500 --> 00:50:28,851
I said, "Walk off." Hey! The lady said no,
asshole.
930
00:50:29,026 --> 00:50:32,507
Fuck off, shrimp dick.
Come on. Please. No!
931
00:50:34,205 --> 00:50:36,076
Hey, bud, how's it going?
932
00:50:36,250 --> 00:50:38,078
How does it look like it's going, bitch?
933
00:50:38,252 --> 00:50:39,775
Okay.
934
00:50:39,949 --> 00:50:42,169
Zane, I forgot what a good
dancer you are, man.
935
00:50:42,343 --> 00:50:44,867
Yeah? What was that move you
used to do back in the day?
936
00:50:45,042 --> 00:50:47,087
It was sick.
You used to kill it.
937
00:50:47,261 --> 00:50:51,135
It's not a move, Bender.
It's called art.
938
00:50:51,309 --> 00:50:53,354
Hey, dude, break it out, man. Yeah?
939
00:50:53,528 --> 00:50:54,834
Yeah.
940
00:50:55,008 --> 00:50:57,663
Here at the Spread Eagle? Yeah.
941
00:50:57,837 --> 00:50:59,491
Okay.
942
00:51:01,841 --> 00:51:03,930
Oh!
943
00:51:04,104 --> 00:51:06,889
Oh, Bender, you made me...
944
00:51:07,064 --> 00:51:10,502
Oh! What happened?
945
00:51:10,676 --> 00:51:13,026
I'm having a hard time
understanding what's she's doing.
946
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:15,463
- Why would she do that?
- She just left.
947
00:51:15,637 --> 00:51:17,770
She just left, and... and I'm...
948
00:51:17,944 --> 00:51:20,947
I'm a little busted up about it.
949
00:51:21,121 --> 00:51:23,558
I mean, she's... I love her.
950
00:51:23,732 --> 00:51:25,821
She is beautiful.
Tiff...
951
00:51:32,350 --> 00:51:34,047
You like that, huh?
952
00:51:34,221 --> 00:51:37,703
Who's the shrimp dick now, huh?
953
00:51:37,877 --> 00:51:39,400
Let me go, shrimp dick!
954
00:51:39,574 --> 00:51:41,315
What's up, Durf?
955
00:51:41,489 --> 00:51:43,056
Having some troubles?
Struggling a little bit?
956
00:51:43,230 --> 00:51:44,492
I'm good.
957
00:51:44,666 --> 00:51:45,754
You don't look good.
958
00:51:45,928 --> 00:51:47,104
Oh, fuck!
959
00:51:47,278 --> 00:51:48,757
Let it out!
960
00:51:51,586 --> 00:51:55,590
I'm gonna crush you, you little
Oompa Loompa motherfucker!
961
00:51:55,764 --> 00:51:59,203
Shh, shh. Go to sleep.
Shh, just let it happen.
962
00:51:59,377 --> 00:52:02,119
Shh.
963
00:52:02,293 --> 00:52:04,033
Shh.
964
00:52:04,730 --> 00:52:07,167
Yes! Yeah!
965
00:52:14,261 --> 00:52:16,350
Congratulations, Bender.
966
00:52:24,271 --> 00:52:25,664
Hey, Shelly.
967
00:52:25,838 --> 00:52:28,362
You looked pretty good
until the fight started.
968
00:52:28,536 --> 00:52:29,972
I don't want to talk about it.
969
00:52:30,147 --> 00:52:32,061
That guy was really small.Bender...
970
00:52:32,236 --> 00:52:34,890
I know they like to be called little
people, but I'd classify that guy...
971
00:52:35,064 --> 00:52:37,589
Shut your cock pocket. What the fuck
are we doing here?
972
00:52:37,763 --> 00:52:40,896
Seriously, Bob. I have meat strapped
to my face. Hold your horses, boys.
973
00:52:41,070 --> 00:52:43,551
It'll be here momentarily.
But first,
974
00:52:43,725 --> 00:52:46,598
I decided to throw a little
curveball into this one.
975
00:52:46,772 --> 00:52:49,427
Oh! We're gonna hit this.
976
00:52:49,601 --> 00:52:51,994
Oh, man. Oh, fuck, yes.
Let's get weird.
977
00:52:52,169 --> 00:52:53,648
Please! What does that mean?
978
00:52:53,822 --> 00:52:55,476
You're saying you've never smoked pot?
979
00:52:55,650 --> 00:52:57,174
You don't fucking know what I do
980
00:52:57,348 --> 00:52:58,610
when I go to the clubs, man.
981
00:52:58,784 --> 00:53:00,786
I get super paranoid when I smoke grass.
982
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:02,918
Come on. You know the rules.
Buddy Games, baby.
983
00:53:03,092 --> 00:53:05,443
If you can't compete,
you must concede. It's medicinal.
984
00:53:05,617 --> 00:53:08,010
Bet I'm the only one that's smoked hash.
985
00:53:08,185 --> 00:53:10,099
Guys, they test sometimes on movie sets.
986
00:53:10,274 --> 00:53:11,753
I don't know if I can
have this in my system.
987
00:53:11,927 --> 00:53:13,755
That's the shit that killed Hendrix.
988
00:53:13,929 --> 00:53:16,454
Yeah, boy!
Bye, bye, brain.
989
00:53:18,891 --> 00:53:20,501
Take it.
990
00:53:20,675 --> 00:53:21,894
Got it? Got it.
991
00:53:23,156 --> 00:53:24,723
Don't bogart that shit.
992
00:53:26,377 --> 00:53:27,856
Fuck you.
993
00:53:31,251 --> 00:53:33,079
Holy shit.
994
00:53:33,253 --> 00:53:35,908
You're blowing it out and
sucking it in at the same time?
995
00:53:38,258 --> 00:53:40,695
This is a bad idea. All right, boys.
996
00:53:40,869 --> 00:53:42,828
The final event of the day.
997
00:53:43,829 --> 00:53:46,179
This is not a game of strength
998
00:53:46,353 --> 00:53:48,355
or endurance,
but rather a test of courage,
999
00:53:48,529 --> 00:53:52,316
and it will determine tomorrow's
three finalists in the endgame.
1000
00:53:52,490 --> 00:53:55,493
So ask yourselves, how bad
do you want that money, boys?
1001
00:53:55,667 --> 00:53:57,712
Bad. Real bad. Real bad.
1002
00:53:57,886 --> 00:53:59,758
The game is simple.
1003
00:53:59,932 --> 00:54:02,500
The last one to keep
his head above board wins.
1004
00:54:02,674 --> 00:54:04,371
Enter the dragon!
1005
00:54:04,545 --> 00:54:05,894
What?
1006
00:54:09,420 --> 00:54:11,291
Bob, what the fuck
is that thing? What the fuck is that?
1007
00:54:11,465 --> 00:54:13,815
What the fuck is that,
man. It's a dinosaur.
1008
00:54:20,039 --> 00:54:22,955
Hey, Bob. Bob left.
1009
00:54:23,129 --> 00:54:25,653
Bob, what a fucking coward.
1010
00:54:41,408 --> 00:54:44,498
Yeah. Look at Shelly
and his juicy, fat head.
1011
00:54:44,672 --> 00:54:46,892
Eat off the rest of his hair.
1012
00:54:49,764 --> 00:54:50,939
Doc!
1013
00:54:51,113 --> 00:54:53,115
Oh, my God! Doc!
1014
00:54:53,290 --> 00:54:56,205
Tell me you're okay! That was intense.
1015
00:54:56,380 --> 00:54:59,644
Doc, talk to me!
Doc, just talk!
1016
00:54:59,818 --> 00:55:01,559
He senses fear!
1017
00:55:01,733 --> 00:55:03,952
Doc was weak, like you, Zane.
1018
00:55:04,126 --> 00:55:05,345
Yeah.
1019
00:55:10,132 --> 00:55:12,265
Yeah, I'm not afraid.
1020
00:55:12,439 --> 00:55:14,398
Oh, no. Oh, God.
1021
00:55:16,008 --> 00:55:18,097
No. No.
1022
00:55:23,624 --> 00:55:26,540
Ugh! I'm sorry, Mom!
1023
00:55:33,068 --> 00:55:36,028
That's it, motherfucker.
That's it, motherfucker.
1024
00:55:36,202 --> 00:55:37,986
Huh?
1025
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:40,554
Shelly, get out
of there. You win, man.
1026
00:55:40,728 --> 00:55:43,949
What are you doing? You want a piece
of me, huh?
1027
00:55:44,123 --> 00:55:47,648
You stupid fucking pea-brained
lizard, you think I'm scared of you?
1028
00:55:47,822 --> 00:55:49,389
Shelly, man, you already won.
Get out of there!
1029
00:55:49,563 --> 00:55:52,000
Where is it?
Where is it? Come on!
1030
00:55:52,174 --> 00:55:53,915
Oh, my God!
1031
00:56:08,713 --> 00:56:09,714
Hey.
1032
00:56:12,499 --> 00:56:13,544
You all right?
1033
00:56:13,718 --> 00:56:16,068
Uh-huh. Good times, man.
1034
00:56:16,242 --> 00:56:17,939
You're sort of gazing
right into that fire.
1035
00:56:18,113 --> 00:56:21,160
I'm just a little worried about you.
1036
00:56:24,206 --> 00:56:26,383
Hey, look, I know you're
pissed at me right now...
1037
00:56:26,557 --> 00:56:29,864
Why would I be pissed at you?
'Cause you lied to me about everything?
1038
00:56:30,038 --> 00:56:32,911
I'm sorry that I lied to you.
I am. But I did it for...
1039
00:56:33,085 --> 00:56:35,087
Don't apologize.
You literally saved my life.
1040
00:56:35,261 --> 00:56:38,133
Well, I wouldn't go
that far. I mean... No.
1041
00:56:38,307 --> 00:56:40,875
This little reunion could just
as easily have been my funeral,
1042
00:56:41,049 --> 00:56:43,748
but now I got a reason
to live again, man.
1043
00:56:44,879 --> 00:56:47,404
And that? I owe that all
to you, little buddy.
1044
00:56:51,059 --> 00:56:53,279
Can I get you anything?
Another near beer?
1045
00:56:53,453 --> 00:56:55,194
Nah, I'm good.
1046
00:56:55,368 --> 00:56:58,327
Okay. You know what, though?
I'm gonna get you something.
1047
00:56:58,502 --> 00:57:00,982
Okay. Show you how I feel
about everything.
1048
00:57:01,156 --> 00:57:03,376
Ooh! Oh, yeah.
1049
00:57:29,663 --> 00:57:32,927
How many cards you want,
Doc? Hey, fellas.
1050
00:57:33,101 --> 00:57:34,886
Look, I'm a little embarrassed
1051
00:57:35,060 --> 00:57:37,454
by my behavior earlier...
I got a little crazy there.
1052
00:57:37,628 --> 00:57:41,849
It's just been a long day of
excruciating pain and humiliation.
1053
00:57:42,023 --> 00:57:44,373
I feel bad about the way I behaved.
1054
00:57:44,548 --> 00:57:47,159
I feel better now because being
with you guys means the world to me.
1055
00:57:47,333 --> 00:57:50,902
As a token of my appreciation, I
made you guys these frosty piña coladas.
1056
00:57:51,076 --> 00:57:53,252
One for everybody.
Get in there!
1057
00:57:53,426 --> 00:57:56,211
Can you get me one? Guys...
1058
00:57:56,385 --> 00:57:58,736
Thanks, man. Look how frothy these are.
1059
00:57:58,910 --> 00:58:02,261
Shelly did a fun thing. Look,
Bob. Thank you, bro. Wow.
1060
00:58:02,435 --> 00:58:04,568
Mmm. It's different,
but it's good.
1061
00:58:04,742 --> 00:58:07,353
Creamy, ooh. I like it.
1062
00:58:07,527 --> 00:58:10,878
My mom always said, "If the drinks are
free, drink till you can't walk or see."
1063
00:58:11,052 --> 00:58:13,881
Shelly, are you good? I
thought you were on the wagon.
1064
00:58:14,055 --> 00:58:15,883
Never been better, buddy.
Never been better.
1065
00:58:16,057 --> 00:58:18,930
This is exactly what I needed.
1066
00:58:19,104 --> 00:58:21,367
All right. Don't get too drunk
and then whip your pants down
1067
00:58:21,541 --> 00:58:24,022
and start playing with
your empty bean bag chair. All right.
1068
00:58:24,196 --> 00:58:26,981
Hey, to Shelly. To Shelly Belly.
Love you, Shel.
1069
00:58:27,155 --> 00:58:28,548
Glad to have you back, brother.
1070
00:58:28,722 --> 00:58:31,072
Cheers, cheers.
1071
00:58:31,246 --> 00:58:33,379
Yo, Doc, I think you need to have
1072
00:58:33,553 --> 00:58:36,425
a doctor look at that thing.
It's starting to drip.
1073
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:37,601
I am a doctor, Durf.
1074
00:58:37,775 --> 00:58:39,037
So good, man!
1075
00:58:39,211 --> 00:58:40,473
I didn't mean it like that.
1076
00:58:40,647 --> 00:58:42,736
So how's La La Land treating you, bro?
1077
00:58:42,910 --> 00:58:44,216
Yeah, Hollywood man.
1078
00:58:44,390 --> 00:58:46,784
Pretty darn good.
I'm feeling blessed.
1079
00:58:46,958 --> 00:58:50,178
I got a lot of things coming down
the pipeline. That's great, man.
1080
00:58:50,352 --> 00:58:53,225
Couple things
in postproduction. What's postproduction?
1081
00:58:53,399 --> 00:58:55,836
That's a good question.
Editing,
1082
00:58:56,010 --> 00:58:58,317
color timing, scoring...
1083
00:58:58,491 --> 00:58:59,971
Scoring, verb...
1084
00:59:00,145 --> 00:59:02,060
What Zane does every night
with the ladies.
1085
00:59:05,585 --> 00:59:07,544
You know what you should do?
1086
00:59:07,718 --> 00:59:10,764
Seriously.
Work with Mark Wahlberg.
1087
00:59:10,938 --> 00:59:12,244
Guy is money.
1088
00:59:12,418 --> 00:59:14,812
He kicks all kinds of ass.
1089
00:59:14,986 --> 00:59:17,379
He's got that itty-bitty waist, but
he seems like an accessible guy.
1090
00:59:17,554 --> 00:59:18,903
Like, the kind of guy you can talk to.
1091
00:59:19,077 --> 00:59:20,861
That's a really helpful tip.
Thank you.
1092
00:59:21,035 --> 00:59:22,602
Yeah, for sure.
1093
00:59:22,776 --> 00:59:24,473
But seriously, like,
what do you got, Durfy?
1094
00:59:24,648 --> 00:59:27,564
Uh, I was told not to
let anybody watch this,
1095
00:59:27,738 --> 00:59:30,001
but I did get an early cut of something
1096
00:59:30,175 --> 00:59:32,525
that I have on my phone if you
guys want to take a little look.
1097
00:59:32,699 --> 00:59:35,006
All right.
1098
00:59:35,180 --> 00:59:37,878
You can't tell anyone
you saw this, though, okay?
1099
00:59:38,052 --> 00:59:41,055
This is what we call
an industrial in the biz.
1100
00:59:43,318 --> 00:59:45,059
Oh, she's pregnant.
1101
00:59:45,233 --> 00:59:47,845
Who's that handsome guy?
1102
00:59:48,019 --> 00:59:49,890
Black-and-white. Nice touch.Artsy.
1103
00:59:50,064 --> 00:59:51,631
She's cute.
1104
00:59:51,805 --> 00:59:54,286
It's like Raging Bull.
1105
00:59:54,460 --> 00:59:56,723
It's got a great twist, too, you guys.
1106
01:00:04,905 --> 01:00:06,777
Oh, God, she's so good.
1107
01:00:06,951 --> 01:00:08,953
I really liked working with her.
1108
01:00:14,393 --> 01:00:16,134
Um...
1109
01:00:16,308 --> 01:00:17,918
Oh, man.Wow.
1110
01:00:18,092 --> 01:00:20,355
Man, she gets me
when she gives that look.
1111
01:00:20,529 --> 01:00:22,444
What do you think? Yeah, it's...
1112
01:00:22,619 --> 01:00:24,142
Let me get this straight.
1113
01:00:24,316 --> 01:00:27,145
You stay at home,
and your wife goes to war?
1114
01:00:27,319 --> 01:00:30,801
Yeah, well, um, you know,
somebody has to watch the baby.
1115
01:00:30,975 --> 01:00:33,107
I didn't write it.
I just act in it, so...
1116
01:00:33,281 --> 01:00:35,849
No, totally. America thanks
you for your service, man.
1117
01:00:36,023 --> 01:00:39,244
How do you make yourself
cry? On the day, I wasn't able to,
1118
01:00:39,418 --> 01:00:41,725
so they just put a drop in your eye.
1119
01:00:41,899 --> 01:00:44,118
You didn't cry? Well, not on that day.
1120
01:00:44,292 --> 01:00:46,120
Wow! I always though
you actually cried.
1121
01:00:46,294 --> 01:00:49,471
I think it looks real. Come on. This...
1122
01:00:49,646 --> 01:00:52,387
We're his best friends.
We owe him honesty here.
1123
01:00:52,561 --> 01:00:55,913
Durf, I love you.
That's a terrible commercial.
1124
01:00:56,087 --> 01:00:59,307
That's 100% Rotten Tomatoes, man.
1125
01:00:59,481 --> 01:01:01,788
Yeah, I have other things
maybe you'll dig.
1126
01:01:01,962 --> 01:01:03,660
Of course you will,
and they'll be awesome.
1127
01:01:03,834 --> 01:01:06,140
No, we're all pro-troops,
but that was anti-acting.
1128
01:01:06,314 --> 01:01:09,013
That's good, though, dude.
Next time, Durf.
1129
01:01:09,187 --> 01:01:10,928
I'm kidding, Dude.
1130
01:01:11,102 --> 01:01:13,147
I'll get an eyedropper, dude.
Don't well up.
1131
01:01:13,321 --> 01:01:16,020
I loved it. Hey, it's time
to announce the finalists.
1132
01:01:16,194 --> 01:01:17,848
Come on. Let's go. This is go time.
1133
01:01:18,022 --> 01:01:19,676
Come on, baby. Come on. Let's go.
1134
01:01:21,112 --> 01:01:22,679
I liked your movie, Durf.
1135
01:01:22,853 --> 01:01:24,855
Thanks, man.
1136
01:01:26,421 --> 01:01:28,772
All right, boys, the moment
we've all been waiting for.
1137
01:01:28,946 --> 01:01:31,165
As you can see, I stand
among these tiki torches.
1138
01:01:31,339 --> 01:01:33,820
These three tiki torches
represent the three guys
1139
01:01:33,994 --> 01:01:36,127
who will be competing
in tomorrow's final event.
1140
01:01:36,301 --> 01:01:38,607
If I call your name,
you're in. Ready?
1141
01:01:38,782 --> 01:01:40,566
And remember, we're playing for this.
1142
01:01:40,740 --> 01:01:42,786
Yeah. Hell, yeah.
1143
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:46,224
Say my name. The first finalist in
this year's Buddy Games is...
1144
01:01:46,398 --> 01:01:48,574
Bob Schmidt.
1145
01:01:48,748 --> 01:01:50,881
Is there a Bob Schm... Oh, that's me.
1146
01:01:51,055 --> 01:01:53,057
That's me.
1147
01:01:53,231 --> 01:01:55,886
All right, game one, game one.
1148
01:01:56,060 --> 01:01:58,018
Hey, check it.
The score's right here.
1149
01:01:58,192 --> 01:02:01,108
And the next finalist is...
1150
01:02:01,282 --> 01:02:02,719
Dixon Bender.
1151
01:02:02,893 --> 01:02:05,156
Yes! What?
1152
01:02:05,330 --> 01:02:07,724
I did better than Bender
did. I did not see that coming.
1153
01:02:07,898 --> 01:02:09,726
Yep, I saw it coming. I want a recount.
1154
01:02:09,900 --> 01:02:11,423
You'd be up here if you held
your shit the longest.
1155
01:02:11,597 --> 01:02:13,512
That's right.
And the third finalist
1156
01:02:13,686 --> 01:02:15,775
may not be the most athletic guy here.
1157
01:02:15,949 --> 01:02:18,169
In fact, he's probably
the least athletic guy here.Doc.
1158
01:02:18,343 --> 01:02:21,476
Oh, no. That's not good for me.
He demonstrated nerves of steel
1159
01:02:21,650 --> 01:02:24,741
in the face of dragons.
It's Shelly Baldinger!
1160
01:02:24,915 --> 01:02:27,004
Yeah! You got to be kidding me!
1161
01:02:27,178 --> 01:02:29,484
What? Are you joking? Yep.
1162
01:02:29,658 --> 01:02:30,834
That's bullshit.
1163
01:02:31,008 --> 01:02:32,400
Don't look so down, Durf.
1164
01:02:32,574 --> 01:02:35,142
Maybe there's a tampon
commercial in your future.
1165
01:02:35,316 --> 01:02:37,754
Yeah. Anything with
a vagina, you know?
1166
01:02:37,928 --> 01:02:40,365
Or a fake baby.
You fuckers.
1167
01:02:40,539 --> 01:02:44,021
I don't know how I'm not a finalist.
1168
01:02:44,195 --> 01:02:46,980
I want a recount. Hey,
who wants a piña colada?
1169
01:02:47,154 --> 01:02:50,027
I want a piña colada!
Who wants a piña colada?
1170
01:02:50,201 --> 01:02:52,638
When I say "piña," you say "colada"!
1171
01:02:52,812 --> 01:02:55,206
Piña! Piña! Colada! Colada!
1172
01:03:50,652 --> 01:03:51,915
Hey.
1173
01:03:54,091 --> 01:03:56,354
Hey. Shelly.
1174
01:03:57,050 --> 01:03:59,357
Shelly.
1175
01:04:01,402 --> 01:04:04,057
Guys. Guys, come here.
Shelly's out cold here.
1176
01:04:04,231 --> 01:04:06,668
Oh, you know what that means.
Balls and gravy!
1177
01:04:06,843 --> 01:04:09,367
No, no, no, no. I'm serious.
I can't tell if he's breathing.
1178
01:04:09,541 --> 01:04:11,978
What? He's just passed out.
All right, get out of my way.
1179
01:04:12,152 --> 01:04:14,067
Let me handle this.
Let me handle this.
1180
01:04:17,070 --> 01:04:18,724
Oh, no. What?
1181
01:04:18,898 --> 01:04:20,987
This is bad, guys. Give
it to us straight, Doc.
1182
01:04:21,161 --> 01:04:23,598
It's an impingement between C3 and C4.
1183
01:04:23,772 --> 01:04:25,383
Are you kidding me?
Is he breathing?
1184
01:04:25,557 --> 01:04:27,559
Yes, he's breathing.
He's fine.
1185
01:04:27,733 --> 01:04:29,387
He's just a big, ugly baby.
1186
01:04:29,561 --> 01:04:31,519
He's fine.
He's sleeping.
1187
01:04:32,433 --> 01:04:35,436
Where's... Where's Durfy?
1188
01:04:35,610 --> 01:04:37,438
I don't know. That's odd.
1189
01:04:37,612 --> 01:04:40,137
Durfy! Durf!
1190
01:04:40,311 --> 01:04:42,879
Durfy! Durfy! Durf! Durf!
1191
01:04:44,445 --> 01:04:46,447
This is bullshit.
1192
01:04:46,621 --> 01:04:49,276
I'm gonna pack my bags
and get out of here.
1193
01:04:54,716 --> 01:04:56,893
What the hell is that?
1194
01:05:03,421 --> 01:05:05,118
What the fuck?
1195
01:05:05,292 --> 01:05:07,555
He's not out there. His car's still here.
1196
01:05:07,729 --> 01:05:09,906
He's not in his room. I called him.
He didn't answer.
1197
01:05:10,080 --> 01:05:11,864
Where would he be? Oh, you guys.
1198
01:05:12,038 --> 01:05:13,344
What? The commercial.
1199
01:05:13,518 --> 01:05:15,128
His commercial about lady Marines.
1200
01:05:15,302 --> 01:05:17,435
Dude, our own military might
attack us over that commercial.
1201
01:05:17,609 --> 01:05:20,264
We shit all over it. We were being honest.
It sucked.
1202
01:05:20,438 --> 01:05:23,528
We didn't have to be that
honest. You know how sensitive he is.
1203
01:05:23,702 --> 01:05:25,486
Fuck! He probably
wandered off somewhere.
1204
01:05:25,660 --> 01:05:28,359
We got to go looking for him.
Somebody's got to watch Shelly.
1205
01:05:28,533 --> 01:05:29,577
The doctor should.
1206
01:05:29,751 --> 01:05:30,839
I want Bender to stay.
1207
01:05:31,014 --> 01:05:32,189
You hear that? What'd you say?
1208
01:05:32,363 --> 01:05:34,147
He picked Bender.
1209
01:05:34,321 --> 01:05:36,584
He said "Doctor."He
said "Bender." I heard him.
1210
01:05:36,758 --> 01:05:38,760
Bender, you stay here.
Stay with him. Are you kidding me?
1211
01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:40,806
Grab the torches, boys.
Let's go find him.
1212
01:05:40,980 --> 01:05:43,374
What if he wakes up?
Do I have to talk to him?
1213
01:05:46,116 --> 01:05:47,378
Stay back!
1214
01:05:51,730 --> 01:05:53,079
Leave me alone!
1215
01:05:54,559 --> 01:05:56,213
Oh! Shelter.
1216
01:06:22,369 --> 01:06:23,718
Durfy?
1217
01:06:25,459 --> 01:06:27,809
Durf! Durf and Turf?
1218
01:06:28,897 --> 01:06:31,248
What is that? What is that?
1219
01:06:35,556 --> 01:06:37,297
How's it getting in the door?
1220
01:06:40,126 --> 01:06:42,650
What?
1221
01:06:50,397 --> 01:06:52,965
Where are you?
1222
01:06:56,142 --> 01:06:57,970
You hear that?
1223
01:06:58,144 --> 01:06:59,537
Oh, my God.
1224
01:07:00,494 --> 01:07:02,235
That way. Let's go get our boy.
1225
01:07:02,409 --> 01:07:03,845
We're coming, Durf!
1226
01:07:28,653 --> 01:07:30,307
What?
1227
01:07:31,525 --> 01:07:33,310
That's weird.
1228
01:07:45,713 --> 01:07:47,846
Don't make me do this.
1229
01:07:48,020 --> 01:07:49,456
Please!
1230
01:07:49,630 --> 01:07:52,590
Okay, I'm going to let you go.
1231
01:07:52,764 --> 01:07:54,635
Stop fighting, okay?
1232
01:07:54,809 --> 01:07:56,246
Stay down.
1233
01:07:58,726 --> 01:08:00,772
Whore! Okay!
1234
01:08:04,036 --> 01:08:06,256
Die you little...
That's a tiny thing!
1235
01:08:06,430 --> 01:08:08,954
Durfy...
Knock it off, man!
1236
01:08:09,128 --> 01:08:10,782
Stop, man, stop!
1237
01:08:11,870 --> 01:08:14,046
Did he kill it?
1238
01:08:15,265 --> 01:08:16,744
Oh, my God!
1239
01:08:16,918 --> 01:08:19,356
You guys, that thing
was trying to kill me.
1240
01:08:19,530 --> 01:08:21,271
Oh, my God. That little thing
right there?
1241
01:08:21,445 --> 01:08:23,664
Yeah, it looks cute,
but it came in that shed
1242
01:08:23,838 --> 01:08:25,753
and got my ear and my face.
1243
01:08:25,927 --> 01:08:28,408
Holy mother of God.
You look like shit, man.
1244
01:08:28,582 --> 01:08:30,454
Is that right?
I look like shit?
1245
01:08:30,628 --> 01:08:32,717
My commercial sucks. Do you
want to say anything else?
1246
01:08:32,891 --> 01:08:35,720
I was just busting... No, no, I heard you
loud and clear.
1247
01:08:35,894 --> 01:08:37,678
I heard you loud and clear.
The commercial sucked.
1248
01:08:37,852 --> 01:08:40,290
We were just
busting your chops. You know what else?
1249
01:08:40,464 --> 01:08:42,509
I'm not fucking making it
in Hollywood, okay?
1250
01:08:42,683 --> 01:08:45,556
Are you happy?
I don't have an agent.
1251
01:08:45,730 --> 01:08:48,559
I self-submit to extras casting, okay?
1252
01:08:48,733 --> 01:08:50,648
I sell tape.
1253
01:08:50,822 --> 01:08:53,607
And right before I got here,
I shit the bed
1254
01:08:53,781 --> 01:08:56,697
on probably the best opportunity
I'm ever gonna have for a CW pilot.
1255
01:08:56,871 --> 01:08:59,744
And it's fucking gone, and
that's it, okay? So I fucking suck!
1256
01:08:59,918 --> 01:09:02,312
You don't suck. You
feel fucking funny now?
1257
01:09:02,486 --> 01:09:04,444
You want to make some
fucking jokes about that?
1258
01:09:04,618 --> 01:09:07,534
Durfy, calm down. You're
a little fired up right now.
1259
01:09:07,708 --> 01:09:10,581
No, no, no. Don't calm
down. Let him get it out.
1260
01:09:10,755 --> 01:09:15,194
What is this, Durf, huh? What is this,
your fucking goodbye speech? Huh?
1261
01:09:15,368 --> 01:09:17,849
We throw a little tough love your
way, and you throw in the towel?
1262
01:09:18,023 --> 01:09:20,808
You want to be an actor
or not? Start filming this.
1263
01:09:20,982 --> 01:09:24,116
You want to fucking be an actor
on a CW pilot, Durfy?
1264
01:09:24,290 --> 01:09:27,075
Use it! Use it! Show me! Show me!
1265
01:09:27,250 --> 01:09:29,295
You guys, I just got attacked
by a fucking mink.
1266
01:09:29,469 --> 01:09:31,732
I'm not auditioning in the woods, okay?
1267
01:09:34,474 --> 01:09:36,650
I'm not gonna do this! Do it right now!
1268
01:09:36,824 --> 01:09:39,784
You guys knew what I was the
whole time, and you didn't tell me?
1269
01:09:41,960 --> 01:09:43,788
I thought I had cancer, damn it.
1270
01:09:43,962 --> 01:09:46,443
Okay, so I'm a mutant?
1271
01:09:46,617 --> 01:09:48,619
So I'm gonna dedicate
the rest of my life...
1272
01:09:49,968 --> 01:09:52,100
to putting those
who would do ill to others
1273
01:09:52,275 --> 01:09:54,625
straight in the fucking ground.
1274
01:09:54,799 --> 01:09:57,367
And I don't care
if I have to die doing it.
1275
01:09:59,586 --> 01:10:02,415
John Durfy Jr, Mutant Institute.
1276
01:10:02,589 --> 01:10:04,765
Yeah!
1277
01:10:04,939 --> 01:10:06,767
You guys, that last part was improv.
1278
01:10:06,941 --> 01:10:09,248
Yeah, Durfy! Yeah!
1279
01:10:09,422 --> 01:10:12,251
That's not even in the script.
It's not even in the script.
1280
01:10:27,701 --> 01:10:29,007
Hi, Dixon.
1281
01:10:31,879 --> 01:10:33,229
Hey, Shelly.
1282
01:10:34,708 --> 01:10:38,016
Have an extra bowl of
Cuckoo Puffs this morning?
1283
01:10:38,190 --> 01:10:41,062
When are you gonna learn
to shut the fuck up, Bender?
1284
01:10:41,237 --> 01:10:43,500
Why am I here?
1285
01:10:43,674 --> 01:10:46,067
That is a really good question.
What are you doing here?
1286
01:10:46,242 --> 01:10:49,201
You're not supposed to be here.
I was very clear about that.
1287
01:10:49,375 --> 01:10:51,595
I have every right to be here.
I'm one of your oldest friends,
1288
01:10:51,769 --> 01:10:54,598
and I'm here to preserve
the sanctity of our friendship
1289
01:10:54,772 --> 01:10:56,774
and to beat your ass in the Buddy Games.
1290
01:10:56,948 --> 01:10:59,298
I'm gonna wipe your ass out there today.
1291
01:10:59,472 --> 01:11:01,082
You're gonna wipe my ass?
1292
01:11:01,257 --> 01:11:02,736
Yeah, with your face.
1293
01:11:02,910 --> 01:11:05,086
You're gonna wipe my ass with my face.
1294
01:11:05,261 --> 01:11:06,697
Got it, bud.
1295
01:11:06,871 --> 01:11:09,830
And I'm sure that Bob
will make that happen.
1296
01:11:10,004 --> 01:11:12,224
What's that supposed to mean? You
don't think this is all rigged for you?
1297
01:11:12,398 --> 01:11:16,228
Like you didn't know that? Look,
you made your point. Just let me out.
1298
01:11:19,753 --> 01:11:21,364
What the fuck are you doing?
1299
01:11:21,538 --> 01:11:22,843
You know what your problem is, Bender?
1300
01:11:24,889 --> 01:11:27,674
You don't know when to shut the fuck up!
1301
01:11:27,848 --> 01:11:30,590
No! You crazy fuck!
1302
01:11:30,764 --> 01:11:33,071
No! All right, no! Yeah!
1303
01:11:33,245 --> 01:11:35,334
I won't say anything else.
I'll stop talking.
1304
01:11:36,553 --> 01:11:39,033
Oh, I really want to
believe you when you say
1305
01:11:39,207 --> 01:11:42,907
that the sanctity of our lifelong
friendship means something to you,
1306
01:11:43,081 --> 01:11:44,256
but...
1307
01:11:45,649 --> 01:11:46,824
I don't.
1308
01:11:49,522 --> 01:11:51,611
Is that supposed to scare me?
1309
01:11:51,785 --> 01:11:53,221
When's the last time you've driven a car?
1310
01:11:53,396 --> 01:11:55,006
Your mom dropped you off here.
1311
01:11:55,180 --> 01:11:56,486
Don't you talk about my mama.
1312
01:11:56,660 --> 01:11:58,662
Then get your fat ass
out of my mom's van!
1313
01:11:58,836 --> 01:11:59,880
You say you're sorry.
1314
01:12:00,054 --> 01:12:01,012
Sorry for what?
1315
01:12:01,186 --> 01:12:02,143
For ruining my life.
1316
01:12:02,318 --> 01:12:03,884
I didn't ruin your life!
1317
01:12:04,058 --> 01:12:05,321
You fucking say it!
1318
01:12:05,495 --> 01:12:06,670
Fuck you!
1319
01:12:09,629 --> 01:12:12,066
No! No!
Wait, wait, wait!
1320
01:12:12,240 --> 01:12:14,330
I didn't shoot you!
I didn't shoot you!
1321
01:12:14,504 --> 01:12:15,679
I didn't do...
1322
01:12:18,551 --> 01:12:20,074
No!
1323
01:12:28,126 --> 01:12:29,519
What did you say?
1324
01:12:29,693 --> 01:12:31,216
I said you're a piece of shit!
1325
01:12:31,390 --> 01:12:33,653
No, that's not what you said.
You said you didn't do it.
1326
01:12:33,827 --> 01:12:37,265
Of course I didn't do it,
man. I'm not an animal.
1327
01:12:37,440 --> 01:12:40,704
I wouldn't shoot a man in
the balls, let alone my friend.
1328
01:12:40,878 --> 01:12:43,446
I love balls.
I have two of them.
1329
01:12:43,620 --> 01:12:48,189
Okay. You didn't do it?
Who did?
1330
01:12:50,278 --> 01:12:51,541
Nikki.
1331
01:12:52,237 --> 01:12:53,673
Bullshit.
1332
01:12:58,548 --> 01:12:59,723
What the fuck are you talking about?
1333
01:13:00,724 --> 01:13:02,900
Why don't you teach him a lesson.
1334
01:13:03,074 --> 01:13:05,032
From us. Come on.
It'll be fun.
1335
01:13:05,206 --> 01:13:08,384
Rest it. Let it sit there.
Right on the nose.
1336
01:13:10,429 --> 01:13:11,865
What if I did it right there?
1337
01:13:12,039 --> 01:13:13,389
Shoot him.Ooh.
1338
01:13:13,563 --> 01:13:15,652
But I couldn't do it.
1339
01:13:16,914 --> 01:13:19,351
So she took the gun from
me and pulled the trigger.
1340
01:13:28,012 --> 01:13:30,841
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
What did you do?
1341
01:13:31,015 --> 01:13:32,973
Then why wouldn't you say something, huh?
1342
01:13:33,147 --> 01:13:35,193
Why would you protect her?
1343
01:13:35,367 --> 01:13:38,588
I was protecting you. Protecting me?
1344
01:13:38,762 --> 01:13:42,113
Your marriage. If you wanted to
protect me, you could've stopped her.
1345
01:13:42,287 --> 01:13:45,116
Do you think I knew that she was
gonna shoot you in the scrotum?
1346
01:13:45,290 --> 01:13:48,772
All right, I could've taken
the gun away, but I didn't.
1347
01:13:48,946 --> 01:13:50,948
Can somebody get me out of
this fucking thing, man?
1348
01:13:51,122 --> 01:13:52,993
I got it. I got it.
1349
01:13:54,647 --> 01:13:58,651
Do you want to know why I didn't?
1350
01:13:58,825 --> 01:14:01,480
Maybe it's because you were being
1351
01:14:01,654 --> 01:14:04,527
a drunk, obnoxious
asshole. This fucking guy.
1352
01:14:04,701 --> 01:14:07,443
Or maybe I did it because you
put your balls on our foreheads
1353
01:14:07,617 --> 01:14:09,445
for years and just laughed it up.
1354
01:14:09,619 --> 01:14:12,535
Or maybe I liked
1355
01:14:12,709 --> 01:14:14,319
that you thought it was me
all these years.
1356
01:14:14,493 --> 01:14:16,974
Because whether or not
I pulled the trigger,
1357
01:14:17,148 --> 01:14:20,107
you got what
you deserved, bud. Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay.
1358
01:14:20,281 --> 01:14:23,241
He doesn't mean that. Bender, you
don't mean that. Nobody deserves...
1359
01:14:23,415 --> 01:14:25,461
Guys, I got to
come clean. In '95,
1360
01:14:25,635 --> 01:14:29,247
when I won the cup, I was juicing.
1361
01:14:29,421 --> 01:14:32,772
I got to get it off my chest. I don't want
you to scratch my name off the cup though.
1362
01:14:32,946 --> 01:14:36,689
Nobody's gonna scratch anything
off anything. Shell Bell,
1363
01:14:36,863 --> 01:14:40,214
I think it's pretty clear
that Bender feels terribly.
1364
01:14:40,388 --> 01:14:42,782
I mean, he gifted you
his own personal spank bank.
1365
01:14:42,956 --> 01:14:44,523
That's a gesture.
1366
01:14:44,697 --> 01:14:46,699
Am I right?
That was a real gesture.Yeah.
1367
01:14:46,873 --> 01:14:48,571
You're right. Yeah,
which I want back.
1368
01:14:48,745 --> 01:14:50,573
You're unfit to raise my children.
1369
01:14:50,747 --> 01:14:52,923
That's not gonna happen? What do you mean?
1370
01:14:53,097 --> 01:14:55,229
Can't do it.
I already re-gifted it.
1371
01:14:55,403 --> 01:14:56,796
To who? What?
1372
01:14:56,970 --> 01:14:58,494
You like those piña coladas?
1373
01:14:58,668 --> 01:15:00,408
Mmm. Little bit
of Bender in there?
1374
01:15:01,018 --> 01:15:02,759
Oh, no.
1375
01:15:02,933 --> 01:15:04,891
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1376
01:15:05,065 --> 01:15:07,241
You're joking?
That's a joke?
1377
01:15:07,415 --> 01:15:09,200
Oh, my... Oh, my God.
1378
01:15:09,374 --> 01:15:12,682
No.I knew I tasted jizz!
1379
01:15:12,856 --> 01:15:15,423
Bob, get him back
in the loony bin right now.
1380
01:15:15,598 --> 01:15:17,600
Call his mom and have her pick him up.
1381
01:15:17,774 --> 01:15:20,037
That is grounds for
disqualification. I'm calling the cops.
1382
01:15:20,211 --> 01:15:24,084
What are you going to tell the cops?
"Hey, Officer, I drank my own jizz"?
1383
01:15:24,258 --> 01:15:25,651
Hold up. Hold up.
1384
01:15:27,305 --> 01:15:29,699
Why are we surprised by this?
1385
01:15:29,873 --> 01:15:32,658
This is the kind of stupid shit that
happens every time we get together.
1386
01:15:32,832 --> 01:15:35,879
I mean, I never thought I was
gonna forgive you guys for this.
1387
01:15:37,576 --> 01:15:39,796
I was so pissed at you
guys. Still a great piece.
1388
01:15:39,970 --> 01:15:41,972
You remember that one?
That was you guys.
1389
01:15:42,146 --> 01:15:44,975
Sons of bitches!
And this? Fucking...
1390
01:15:45,149 --> 01:15:47,630
Zac Efron. That was your idea.
1391
01:15:47,804 --> 01:15:48,892
You did that on your own, bro.
1392
01:15:49,066 --> 01:15:49,980
Your choice.
1393
01:15:50,154 --> 01:15:51,242
You wanted that.
1394
01:15:51,416 --> 01:15:53,853
You all gave me the... No. No.
1395
01:15:54,027 --> 01:15:56,073
Look, the point is
that every time we get together,
1396
01:15:56,247 --> 01:15:57,814
we do something that
we regret in the moment,
1397
01:15:57,988 --> 01:16:00,251
but then we laugh about it later, right?
1398
01:16:00,425 --> 01:16:03,646
That's why we keep coming back.
These are the games we play.
1399
01:16:03,820 --> 01:16:06,997
These are the memories that we live
for. And, yeah, we drank a little jizz...
1400
01:16:07,171 --> 01:16:08,433
We drank a lot of jizz.
1401
01:16:08,607 --> 01:16:10,087
We drank a lot of jizz.
1402
01:16:10,261 --> 01:16:11,828
I had a second piña colada.
1403
01:16:12,002 --> 01:16:14,831
And Shelly totaled
Bender's van, but you know what?
1404
01:16:15,005 --> 01:16:16,702
This too shall pass.
We will live on,
1405
01:16:16,876 --> 01:16:19,226
and this brotherhood will never die.
1406
01:16:21,011 --> 01:16:24,014
And I fucking love it!
I love all of it.
1407
01:16:24,188 --> 01:16:25,972
And I've missed every one
of you assholes.
1408
01:16:26,146 --> 01:16:28,540
And I wouldn't trade this shit
for anything, so...
1409
01:16:28,714 --> 01:16:30,716
I suggest that each one of you
look in the mirror
1410
01:16:30,890 --> 01:16:32,762
and think about what this
brotherhood means to you.
1411
01:16:32,936 --> 01:16:34,764
Especially you, Durfy.
1412
01:16:34,938 --> 01:16:37,288
Your ear, it's, like, hanging...
1413
01:16:37,462 --> 01:16:39,551
Is it injured?
'Cause it doesn't feel good.
1414
01:16:39,725 --> 01:16:42,554
You might want peroxide... You
think that's gonna read on camera?
1415
01:16:42,728 --> 01:16:45,165
Not if the camera's pointed at
someone else. Thanks for inviting me.
1416
01:16:45,339 --> 01:16:47,298
You're a good person. Yeah, yeah, you too.
1417
01:16:47,472 --> 01:16:50,431
Thanks for letting me play, and
thanks for the piña coladas and my ear.
1418
01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:51,607
It's just been really great.
1419
01:16:51,781 --> 01:16:53,173
All right.
1420
01:16:53,347 --> 01:16:55,698
The rest of you get a little sleep,
1421
01:16:55,872 --> 01:16:57,569
because come sundown, it's game on.
1422
01:17:00,398 --> 01:17:03,140
Not so much you two.
Nope, we are sleeping in.
1423
01:17:03,314 --> 01:17:05,577
Didn't make the cut.
1424
01:17:05,751 --> 01:17:07,492
Shelly, you went too far.
1425
01:17:07,666 --> 01:17:10,147
Oh, I'm gonna throw up. Yeah, Shelly.
1426
01:17:10,321 --> 01:17:12,105
Well played.
1427
01:17:34,301 --> 01:17:35,651
So here we are, boys.
1428
01:17:37,435 --> 01:17:38,958
The endgame.
It's simple.
1429
01:17:39,132 --> 01:17:40,873
First one to lay their hands
1430
01:17:41,047 --> 01:17:43,267
on that buddy bucket
at the end of this field
1431
01:17:43,441 --> 01:17:45,051
wins all the cash.
1432
01:17:45,225 --> 01:17:46,923
What's with the suit?
1433
01:17:47,097 --> 01:17:48,794
Oh, this old thing?
1434
01:17:48,968 --> 01:17:52,972
It's a one-inch-thick
superpolyamide body armor suit.
1435
01:17:53,146 --> 01:17:54,757
Why? What the fuck
are we doing now?
1436
01:17:54,931 --> 01:17:57,194
Well, this little baby
can absorb a bullet
1437
01:17:57,368 --> 01:17:59,196
from ten feet away. What?
1438
01:17:59,370 --> 01:18:01,111
All we're gonna be using
are simple bows and arrows.
1439
01:18:01,285 --> 01:18:02,590
Give it a try.
1440
01:18:04,244 --> 01:18:06,420
You want me to shoot you
with an arrow? Yeah.
1441
01:18:06,594 --> 01:18:07,987
Okay.
1442
01:18:08,553 --> 01:18:09,859
There you go.
1443
01:18:12,644 --> 01:18:13,906
I like this already.
1444
01:18:18,476 --> 01:18:20,043
Oh, no!
1445
01:18:20,870 --> 01:18:22,480
Bob! What the fuck?
1446
01:18:22,654 --> 01:18:23,568
Holy shit!
1447
01:18:23,742 --> 01:18:24,700
Oh, my God.
1448
01:18:24,874 --> 01:18:26,832
Bob! Oh, my...
1449
01:18:27,006 --> 01:18:28,834
Oh! Help!
1450
01:18:33,883 --> 01:18:35,885
You should see the looks on your faces!
1451
01:18:36,059 --> 01:18:39,366
I'm just kidding. Oh, my... Dude,
what the fuck, man?
1452
01:18:39,540 --> 01:18:41,847
That's the game.
That's the game.
1453
01:18:42,021 --> 01:18:45,068
You got six arrows right
over here. Use them wisely,
1454
01:18:45,242 --> 01:18:47,766
because if you get stuck
with an arrow, you're out.
1455
01:18:47,940 --> 01:18:49,942
Ten minutes, shotgun start,
so suit up, boys.
1456
01:18:50,116 --> 01:18:51,335
Whoo!
1457
01:18:52,205 --> 01:18:54,381
Ow. Bob, you're...
1458
01:18:54,555 --> 01:18:56,906
Bob's not well mentally, I don't...
1459
01:19:03,651 --> 01:19:05,436
I don't know who to root for.
1460
01:19:05,610 --> 01:19:07,090
I hate them all. Yeah, it's tough.
1461
01:19:07,264 --> 01:19:09,570
I'm going Bender. You're gonna go Bender?
1462
01:19:09,745 --> 01:19:12,138
Bender. He lost his mom.
He lives in a van.
1463
01:19:12,312 --> 01:19:15,315
He's had hemorrhoids
since we were, what, six?
1464
01:19:15,489 --> 01:19:18,623
How many fucking six-year-olds
do you know that have hemorrhoids?
1465
01:19:20,451 --> 01:19:23,889
Hey, everybody. Welcome
back.
1466
01:19:26,805 --> 01:19:28,589
You know what's fucking crazy?
1467
01:19:28,764 --> 01:19:30,504
Like, seriously?
1468
01:19:30,678 --> 01:19:32,942
How slimming black really is.
1469
01:19:33,116 --> 01:19:34,813
One little announcement.
1470
01:19:34,987 --> 01:19:37,033
That field is live.
Real arrows will be flying.
1471
01:19:37,207 --> 01:19:39,339
So, please, if you could
stay behind these flags
1472
01:19:39,513 --> 01:19:41,602
until you can see that
champion bucket is raised.
1473
01:19:41,777 --> 01:19:44,257
Smell weird to you? Oh, fuck, man!
1474
01:19:44,431 --> 01:19:47,304
Oh, let me get a shot really
quick. You got any schnapps?
1475
01:19:47,478 --> 01:19:50,568
Why do you have a nut cup? Aren't
those supposed to protect testicles?
1476
01:19:50,742 --> 01:19:54,050
Aren't minivans meant for mothers? Oh,
that's right. You don't have a minivan.
1477
01:19:54,224 --> 01:19:56,879
Yeah, thanks. I don't have a
mother either. You're about to lose.
1478
01:19:57,053 --> 01:19:58,706
You're about to burp up
your own cum bubbles.
1479
01:19:58,881 --> 01:20:00,317
You're gonna fucking lose, man.
1480
01:20:00,491 --> 01:20:02,623
This is your day...
1481
01:20:07,280 --> 01:20:08,847
Bye, suckers!
1482
01:20:21,468 --> 01:20:24,820
Let's go, babe! Come
on. You got this. Let's go!
1483
01:20:41,967 --> 01:20:44,013
Okay, babe, you got this!
1484
01:20:44,187 --> 01:20:45,492
Let's go, baby!
1485
01:20:48,017 --> 01:20:50,976
Ah!
1486
01:20:53,065 --> 01:20:54,632
Oh, my God.
1487
01:20:54,806 --> 01:20:56,503
Suck on that, Richie Rich!
1488
01:20:56,677 --> 01:20:59,506
Bob!
1489
01:21:01,552 --> 01:21:02,858
Bob! Bob!
No, wait...
1490
01:21:04,033 --> 01:21:05,861
Shit just got real.
1491
01:21:17,481 --> 01:21:19,787
Okay. Shelly's
sucking wind right now.
1492
01:21:19,962 --> 01:21:21,964
He's not gonna be able to shoot for shit.
1493
01:21:22,138 --> 01:21:24,053
It's now or never.
1494
01:21:24,227 --> 01:21:25,663
Let's go, Bender.
1495
01:21:26,925 --> 01:21:29,623
We already know how
this will end, Bender!
1496
01:21:29,797 --> 01:21:32,365
I own you! I always have!
1497
01:21:34,541 --> 01:21:36,848
You always said,
"There's next year," Shelly.
1498
01:21:37,022 --> 01:21:40,199
Well, guess what?
It is next year!
1499
01:21:40,373 --> 01:21:45,509
I guess it boils down to
who's got the bigger balls.
1500
01:21:45,683 --> 01:21:47,859
Well, that'd definitely be you, pal.
1501
01:21:48,033 --> 01:21:50,601
No, no, no.
Ladies first.
1502
01:21:52,995 --> 01:21:55,040
Aaah! Fuck you!
1503
01:22:03,396 --> 01:22:05,572
Ooh, look at that fat back.
1504
01:22:05,746 --> 01:22:08,053
Here we go, baby.
1505
01:22:10,838 --> 01:22:13,667
Damn it! Crap!
1506
01:22:13,841 --> 01:22:16,583
Yeah, let's dance, baby.
1507
01:22:18,759 --> 01:22:19,978
It's over. It's over.
1508
01:22:20,152 --> 01:22:22,850
Fuck you, Bender.
Fuck you.
1509
01:22:25,070 --> 01:22:27,333
Sorry about all that stuff
I said about you earlier, buddy.
1510
01:22:28,900 --> 01:22:30,032
No, you're not, Sheldon.
1511
01:22:33,383 --> 01:22:34,558
Just end it.
1512
01:22:36,429 --> 01:22:38,997
Don't shoot me in the balls either.
That'd be super predictable and lame.
1513
01:22:39,171 --> 01:22:42,174
Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
1514
01:22:46,222 --> 01:22:49,007
You fucking caught that? You
were gonna shoot me in the face?
1515
01:22:58,364 --> 01:23:00,627
Get off me!
Get off me!
1516
01:23:00,801 --> 01:23:03,413
You son of a bitch!
1517
01:23:09,419 --> 01:23:12,770
Not this year!
1518
01:23:17,818 --> 01:23:20,908
No! No!
1519
01:23:21,083 --> 01:23:23,650
Never fuck with a man's minivan.
1520
01:23:33,399 --> 01:23:34,922
I got it. I got it.
1521
01:23:47,718 --> 01:23:50,329
Yeah!
1522
01:23:54,681 --> 01:23:57,945
Yeah!
I fucking did it!
1523
01:23:58,120 --> 01:24:00,948
You okay, buddy?
No shame. You did good.
1524
01:24:01,123 --> 01:24:02,994
You did really good.
How many fingers is this?
1525
01:24:03,168 --> 01:24:05,823
Just not as good as that
motherfucker right there!
1526
01:24:05,997 --> 01:24:07,781
You just kicked him in the head, Doc!
1527
01:24:07,955 --> 01:24:10,001
Bobby, are you okay?
1528
01:24:10,175 --> 01:24:12,569
Oh, my goodness,
look at that. Bob!
1529
01:24:12,743 --> 01:24:14,310
Oh, my God!
1530
01:24:14,484 --> 01:24:16,486
Oh, my God! Oh, you came.
1531
01:24:16,660 --> 01:24:18,879
We've got to get you
to the hospital. No, no, I'm fine.
1532
01:24:19,054 --> 01:24:21,752
I really am. I'm fine.
Well, not great.
1533
01:24:21,926 --> 01:24:23,928
Oh, my God!
1534
01:24:24,102 --> 01:24:26,974
Oh, I know what you're gonna say,
that this whole thing was a mistake.
1535
01:24:27,149 --> 01:24:28,889
No, I wasn't gonna say that at all.
1536
01:24:30,152 --> 01:24:31,501
Bobby, you needed this.
1537
01:24:31,675 --> 01:24:32,937
Really? Yeah.
1538
01:24:33,111 --> 01:24:34,765
Now that it's out of your system,
1539
01:24:34,939 --> 01:24:36,549
we can just go back
to our life, you know? Yeah.
1540
01:24:36,723 --> 01:24:38,334
God, I love you.
1541
01:24:39,335 --> 01:24:41,728
I love you so much. I love you too.
1542
01:24:41,902 --> 01:24:45,254
I was doing a lot of thinking
on my trip, and, um...
1543
01:24:46,255 --> 01:24:48,735
I think it's time, Bob.
1544
01:24:48,909 --> 01:24:50,085
Yeah.
1545
01:24:51,521 --> 01:24:54,089
All right, come on.
Let's do this. I... I can't.
1546
01:24:54,263 --> 01:24:56,395
Oh, God, because your... your hand.
1547
01:24:56,569 --> 01:24:58,180
Let me help you. Whoa!
1548
01:24:58,354 --> 01:25:00,660
Whoa! Yeah!
1549
01:25:00,834 --> 01:25:03,576
It is huge!
How much was it?
1550
01:25:03,750 --> 01:25:05,665
I don't know.
1551
01:25:05,839 --> 01:25:07,624
I don't know!
1552
01:25:10,366 --> 01:25:12,019
Okay, everybody's watching, Bob.
1553
01:25:13,064 --> 01:25:14,674
Look, baby, I know that you're scared.
1554
01:25:14,848 --> 01:25:17,373
That's okay, and I get it,
but you don't need to be.
1555
01:25:17,547 --> 01:25:19,418
These last few weeks,
yeah, they have been weird,
1556
01:25:19,592 --> 01:25:21,377
but we can just go back
to the way things used to be.
1557
01:25:21,551 --> 01:25:22,943
Just you and me...
1558
01:25:23,553 --> 01:25:25,207
forever.
1559
01:25:27,034 --> 01:25:28,732
I love you. Oh, my God. I love you too.
1560
01:25:28,906 --> 01:25:31,213
I love you so much. I love you so much.
1561
01:25:34,216 --> 01:25:35,913
I'm not this guy.
1562
01:25:37,828 --> 01:25:39,569
I'm not the guy you deserve.
1563
01:25:40,309 --> 01:25:41,832
I'm this fucking guy.
1564
01:25:42,528 --> 01:25:44,139
What?
1565
01:25:44,313 --> 01:25:47,446
My mom wants me to be Bob,
the soon-to-be father, but...
1566
01:25:47,620 --> 01:25:49,796
I'm just the Bobfather, you know?
1567
01:25:49,970 --> 01:25:53,017
Are you fucking kidding me? Look, I know
this sounds crazy.
1568
01:25:53,191 --> 01:25:55,976
I've never felt more purpose
than I have these last few weeks.
1569
01:25:57,195 --> 01:26:00,198
These guys need me, and I need them,
1570
01:26:00,372 --> 01:26:02,809
and this is gonna keep happening
every year for the rest of my life.
1571
01:26:02,983 --> 01:26:05,899
And you're just gonna end up
hating them and resenting me.
1572
01:26:06,073 --> 01:26:07,727
And who knows? Maybe you'll
end up shooting me in the balls
1573
01:26:07,901 --> 01:26:09,425
and taking all my money like Shel...
1574
01:26:10,556 --> 01:26:12,602
Oh! Bobby!
1575
01:26:15,561 --> 01:26:17,215
You know, I really respect your choice...
1576
01:26:17,389 --> 01:26:18,956
and your honesty.
1577
01:26:19,130 --> 01:26:20,914
I just wish you would've
told me five fucking years ago
1578
01:26:21,088 --> 01:26:22,264
that you would've chosen
your friend's balls
1579
01:26:22,438 --> 01:26:23,917
and their farts over me.
1580
01:26:26,311 --> 01:26:28,357
Where's the gravity? I... Oh, my God.
1581
01:26:28,531 --> 01:26:31,316
Okay, okay, okay, that's enough.
You got it out of your system.
1582
01:26:31,490 --> 01:26:33,275
Farewell, Bobfather.
1583
01:26:33,449 --> 01:26:37,192
Now, nobody does that to my buddy Bob.
1584
01:26:37,366 --> 01:26:39,019
Ooh! Doc!
1585
01:26:39,194 --> 01:26:40,891
You are done, Tiff!
1586
01:26:43,589 --> 01:26:45,635
Mama, start the
car. Start the car, Mama!
1587
01:26:45,809 --> 01:26:47,027
Later, Tiff.
1588
01:27:00,693 --> 01:27:02,608
Well, things
didn't go exactly as planned,
1589
01:27:02,782 --> 01:27:05,742
but then again, the games never do.
1590
01:27:05,916 --> 01:27:08,962
Look, you don't stop playing
because you get older,
1591
01:27:09,136 --> 01:27:11,748
you get older when you stop playing.
1592
01:27:11,922 --> 01:27:14,446
Now the boys are back,
1593
01:27:14,620 --> 01:27:16,709
and somehow everything seems right again.
1594
01:27:16,883 --> 01:27:20,322
In fact, things might
even be a little better.
1595
01:27:43,954 --> 01:27:46,609
Shelly may not have reclaimed his throne,
1596
01:27:46,783 --> 01:27:49,046
but he's back.
1597
01:27:49,220 --> 01:27:51,266
Exactly where he belongs.
1598
01:27:52,963 --> 01:27:54,660
Still the king.
1599
01:27:58,664 --> 01:28:01,754
Turns out Durfy may not
be such a shitty actor after all.
1600
01:28:02,755 --> 01:28:04,931
He just needed a little nudge.
1601
01:28:07,369 --> 01:28:11,068
"You have officially been
offered the role of Frankie in..."
1602
01:28:13,157 --> 01:28:14,854
Oh, my God!
1603
01:28:16,508 --> 01:28:17,814
Yes!
1604
01:28:18,989 --> 01:28:21,339
And then there's Bender.
1605
01:28:21,513 --> 01:28:23,254
Look at him. Call Sheldon again.
1606
01:28:23,428 --> 01:28:26,126
That's the face of a
champion. Calling Sheldon.
1607
01:28:32,219 --> 01:28:33,743
Nope.
1608
01:28:34,787 --> 01:28:37,094
Call declined. Come on, man!
1609
01:28:38,617 --> 01:28:41,272
Call Sheldon again.
Call him again! Please watch your tone.
1610
01:28:41,446 --> 01:28:43,230
As for Doc, well,
1611
01:28:43,405 --> 01:28:45,363
he was finally able
to provide some relief.
1612
01:28:47,757 --> 01:28:50,063
It's time I got something off my chest.
1613
01:28:50,237 --> 01:28:52,196
So here goes.
1614
01:28:52,370 --> 01:28:54,503
I'm, uh... I know.
1615
01:28:54,677 --> 01:28:56,635
What do you mean,
you know? I know.
1616
01:28:56,809 --> 01:28:59,464
How long have you known?
Remember back in '96,
1617
01:28:59,638 --> 01:29:02,685
when you bought that Cavalier
King Charles spaniel,
1618
01:29:02,859 --> 01:29:05,557
and you named it after Brad Pitt's
character in Legends of the Fall?
1619
01:29:05,731 --> 01:29:07,864
Oh, Tristan. Way before that.
1620
01:29:08,038 --> 01:29:09,256
All right, one more.
1621
01:29:09,431 --> 01:29:10,345
I'm gay!
1622
01:29:10,519 --> 01:29:11,694
All right, you're all done.
1623
01:29:11,868 --> 01:29:14,305
Oh, that felt amazing!
1624
01:29:14,479 --> 01:29:17,264
So if I'm not happy with
the results, I get a full refund, right?
1625
01:29:17,439 --> 01:29:18,831
'Cause I burn through workout equipment
1626
01:29:19,005 --> 01:29:21,312
like Gene Simmons does through pussy.
1627
01:29:21,486 --> 01:29:23,009
From Kiss.
1628
01:29:23,183 --> 01:29:26,752
I mean, fitness is my middle name.
1629
01:29:26,926 --> 01:29:28,667
And I'm just afraid... You know, like,
1630
01:29:28,841 --> 01:29:31,627
I've broken things before,
'cause I'm so strong, and I'm...
1631
01:29:31,801 --> 01:29:34,804
Shelly, just hear me out. What are you
doing here, dude?
1632
01:29:34,978 --> 01:29:37,110
I'm in trouble, and it's bad.
1633
01:29:37,284 --> 01:29:39,330
I need a place to hide out. No, man!
1634
01:29:39,504 --> 01:29:41,941
Oh, my God, I'm in deep shit, man!
1635
01:29:42,115 --> 01:29:44,988
Get the fuck out of my house,
dude. What are you doing here?
1636
01:29:45,162 --> 01:29:48,861
Bender! No! No! Aaah!
1637
01:29:52,517 --> 01:29:54,345
You're mine, bitch.
1638
01:29:58,958 --> 01:30:01,831
You shot my best friend, you
son of a bitch! You're fucking dead!
1639
01:30:02,005 --> 01:30:03,833
You hear me?
You're fucking dead!
1640
01:30:04,007 --> 01:30:06,183
Yeah, that's right, you fucking pussy.
1641
01:30:06,357 --> 01:30:07,576
"Best friend"?
1642
01:30:08,968 --> 01:30:10,883
I'm truly touched by that, man.
1643
01:30:11,057 --> 01:30:14,452
What the... You're alive?
1644
01:30:14,626 --> 01:30:17,194
Ha, ha, ha!
I'm alive!
1645
01:30:17,368 --> 01:30:21,067
It was a joke. I was trying
to get you out of the house. What?
1646
01:30:21,241 --> 01:30:24,070
Yeah, you weren't returning my
phone calls, dude. I just want to talk.
1647
01:30:24,244 --> 01:30:26,377
But, he... he shot you.
1648
01:30:26,551 --> 01:30:29,554
Yeah, that's my buddy Thurston.
He works for the pawn shop.
1649
01:30:29,728 --> 01:30:32,078
I was buying my mom's shit back,
and he got me this movie gun.
1650
01:30:32,252 --> 01:30:34,429
What movie is it from? Ride Along 2.
1651
01:30:34,603 --> 01:30:37,519
Yeah, 50 bucks.
Fucking bang, bang, dude. Hundred bucks.
1652
01:30:37,693 --> 01:30:40,043
You said 50.I said a hundred.
1653
01:30:40,217 --> 01:30:43,176
Twenty-five a bullet and
50 for the gun, that's $100.
1654
01:30:43,350 --> 01:30:46,528
You're a fucking liar!
1655
01:30:46,702 --> 01:30:48,312
I'm not paying for that. Yes, you are.
1656
01:30:48,486 --> 01:30:50,749
No, I'm not. No, I'm not.
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
1657
01:30:50,923 --> 01:30:53,317
What the fuck is going on here?
1658
01:30:54,492 --> 01:30:56,102
Look, man,
1659
01:30:56,276 --> 01:30:57,843
all I cared about
1660
01:30:58,017 --> 01:31:00,585
was you and just
making things right again.
1661
01:31:00,759 --> 01:31:03,370
You lost your fucking mind, Bender?
Get me out of this goddamn chair.
1662
01:31:03,545 --> 01:31:06,678
Dude, with that money,
I could've done anything.
1663
01:31:06,852 --> 01:31:08,854
Got an eight-ball the size of Nebraska,
1664
01:31:09,028 --> 01:31:13,076
fucked my way through whatever
rogue country this asshole's from,
1665
01:31:13,250 --> 01:31:15,034
but that's not what was in my heart.
1666
01:31:15,208 --> 01:31:18,560
I felt so bad for you and
all the shit you went through,
1667
01:31:18,734 --> 01:31:21,171
and I just wanted to
get you back on your feet.
1668
01:31:21,345 --> 01:31:22,433
So...
1669
01:31:22,607 --> 01:31:26,002
here's my plan.
Wait for it...
1670
01:31:26,176 --> 01:31:28,352
Boom!
1671
01:31:28,526 --> 01:31:30,963
A scrot-o!
1672
01:31:31,137 --> 01:31:33,444
Fuckin' scrotes!
1673
01:31:33,618 --> 01:31:35,272
I got balls for you!
1674
01:31:35,446 --> 01:31:37,100
Smell it! Smell!
1675
01:31:37,274 --> 01:31:40,451
I got you balls.
Fuck you. I got you balls.
1676
01:31:40,625 --> 01:31:43,672
Fuckin' Sack Nicholson over here.
1677
01:31:43,846 --> 01:31:47,458
Piercings. One with a
tattoo on it. Look at this guy.
1678
01:31:47,632 --> 01:31:49,460
So many fucking balls, dude.
1679
01:31:49,634 --> 01:31:52,115
And then lo and behold...
1680
01:31:52,289 --> 01:31:55,945
Sheldon, you're back!
1681
01:31:56,119 --> 01:31:58,643
Shel Bell!
You look like Elton John.
1682
01:31:58,817 --> 01:32:01,690
You're fucking back!
Fuck you!
1683
01:32:01,864 --> 01:32:04,910
Look at that shit. Juicy!
1684
01:32:05,084 --> 01:32:08,305
Long live the king!
1685
01:32:20,143 --> 01:32:21,797
Bob's web of lies
1686
01:32:21,971 --> 01:32:24,060
has finally come home to roost.
1687
01:32:24,234 --> 01:32:25,888
What will happen to poor Bob?
1688
01:32:29,326 --> 01:32:31,763
I'm free.
And you're fucked.
1689
01:32:35,941 --> 01:32:37,464
It's not gross, all right?
Our buddy just...
1690
01:32:37,639 --> 01:32:39,815
It's a very, very gross present.
1691
01:32:39,989 --> 01:32:41,991
It's not gross. Why
would you get him that?
1692
01:32:42,165 --> 01:32:44,689
It's not gross.
1693
01:32:44,863 --> 01:32:46,996
I was just a little distracted, um,
1694
01:32:47,170 --> 01:32:50,565
planning my speech for the Oscars.
1695
01:32:53,045 --> 01:32:56,396
What the fuck is that thing? Fucking cat?
1696
01:33:00,096 --> 01:33:02,968
You need the Heimlich, dude?
You need the Heimlich?
1697
01:33:10,280 --> 01:33:12,717
This is some jackassery, man.
1698
01:33:12,891 --> 01:33:14,719
Are you fucking kidding me?
1699
01:33:14,893 --> 01:33:17,722
A baby? A baby here?
1700
01:33:17,896 --> 01:33:20,333
Yeah, just take a look
at the tailbone there. No tailbone.
1701
01:33:20,507 --> 01:33:23,249
That's where
I draw the line. Come on.
1702
01:33:23,423 --> 01:33:26,644
All right, bend over.
1703
01:33:26,818 --> 01:33:29,125
Great swimsuit. Thank you.
1704
01:33:29,299 --> 01:33:30,953
Can you swim or dive?
1705
01:33:31,127 --> 01:33:32,432
Yeah, both.
1706
01:33:32,607 --> 01:33:33,782
Well, you can dive on my dick.
1707
01:33:33,956 --> 01:33:35,914
Okay. Okay.
1708
01:33:36,088 --> 01:33:37,437
Two more. Two more. Two more. Two more.
1709
01:33:44,923 --> 01:33:48,231
Filled with jizz!
1710
01:33:52,365 --> 01:33:55,542
Are you just gonna call it?
Okay. Foreground, background...
1711
01:34:03,812 --> 01:34:05,422
My dad likes to buy his pie at the store.
1712
01:34:05,596 --> 01:34:07,554
Oh, yeah.
Store pie's better.
1713
01:34:07,729 --> 01:34:09,208
Oh, God.
1714
01:34:09,382 --> 01:34:10,819
What's the matter with your woman?
1715
01:34:10,993 --> 01:34:12,603
Is she always like this?
1716
01:34:13,822 --> 01:34:15,954
I think she's been drinking this morning.
1717
01:34:16,128 --> 01:34:17,652
Really? Yeah.
1718
01:34:19,610 --> 01:34:22,004
Motherfucker!
1719
01:34:22,178 --> 01:34:23,658
Fuck!
1720
01:34:26,008 --> 01:34:28,097
I'm so sorry. On frame, right?
1721
01:34:28,271 --> 01:34:32,057
You became a friar. That's
dope, right? That is so rad.
1722
01:34:32,231 --> 01:34:35,582
Listen to Lance Bass
over here. Oh, shit!
1723
01:34:40,283 --> 01:34:41,719
Oh!
1724
01:34:46,898 --> 01:34:48,030
What?
1725
01:34:48,204 --> 01:34:50,510
Thanks, Prick Moranis.
1726
01:34:52,730 --> 01:34:55,559
Let's play some Buddy Games!
1727
01:34:55,733 --> 01:34:57,648
Let's play some "Bloody" Games!
1728
01:34:57,822 --> 01:34:59,476
No!
1729
01:35:06,657 --> 01:35:08,703
Get it.
Get it. Get it.
1730
01:35:15,361 --> 01:35:17,755
The, uh, the parking brake wasn't set,
1731
01:35:17,929 --> 01:35:19,975
so it just started rolling back.
1732
01:36:23,125 --> 01:36:25,518
Let's play some Buddy Games!
122276
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