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1
00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:25,525
Greetings from Tromaville.
2
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,569
Let me take you back,
3
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,197
back to where it all began...
4
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,240
to a small town
5
00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:34,951
{\an8}in New Jersey.
6
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:38,455
At that time, the Tromaville
nuclear power plant
7
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:41,124
had a horrifying meltdown,
8
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:44,753
tainting the water supply
of Tromaville High School,
9
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,422
which was carelessly located
10
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,549
right next door.
11
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,885
Heinous mutations occurred,
12
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:54,095
transforming the student body
13
00:00:54,262 --> 00:00:57,766
into radiated creatures
and cretins.
14
00:00:57,933 --> 00:01:00,227
Well, not every student
turned evil.
15
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:03,772
Our heroes Warren and Chrissy
saved the day
16
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:06,775
by blowing up
the nuclear power plant
17
00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:08,944
and the school therein,
18
00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:10,570
eliminating evil
19
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,240
and setting things
back to normal.
20
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:18,328
Oh, and some other stuff
also happened.
21
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:32,175
But today,
since criticizing nuclear power
22
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:35,428
is no longer in vogue,
at least in movies,
23
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:39,474
the Tromaville nuclear power plant
has been bulldozed
24
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:43,228
to make way for
the environmentally friendly,
25
00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:47,065
health-conscious
Tromorganic Foodstuffs Inc,
26
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,693
built directly on top
27
00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:51,987
of the old nuclear plant.
28
00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:54,823
What could go wrong?
29
00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:57,033
This is no typical remake.
30
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,202
I want you to join me
31
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:03,123
as we "Return to Nuke 'Em High"!
32
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:06,793
Oh, by the way, excelsior!
33
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,774
That's hot.
34
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,718
Your wiener feels like
it's flopping around
35
00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:22,762
like a fish
without oxygen.
36
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,973
You're fishing with John, baby.
37
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:26,307
Your name's John?
38
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:28,476
No, it's Gil, but whatevs.
39
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,690
O... M... G...
40
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:35,733
fuck me with your
fish dick, Gil!
41
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:39,487
Oh! Something's got me.
42
00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:42,073
- I got you, baby.
- No, no.
43
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,993
Your box... it's biting me.
44
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,328
Whatever you're doing,
it's getting me hot.
45
00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:50,206
No, don't stop.
46
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:30,038
What kind of god...?
47
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,144
Eh.
48
00:06:31,015 --> 00:06:33,518
Attention, Tromorganic employees,
49
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,728
please stop dancing
and acting goofy.
50
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,772
President and CEO Herzkauf
51
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,983
will be making
his inspection shortly.
52
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:48,992
Now look, laddie,
I want my ultracheap foodstuffs
53
00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:51,869
in every school in New Jersey
at inflated prices.
54
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:54,289
That is the basis of our plan,
and you know it.
55
00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:57,208
No fast-food place
will take my food anymore.
56
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:03,006
Hmm?
57
00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:04,299
Hmm?
58
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,438
God damn it!
59
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,816
Now you... you, Westly, as principal
of the guinea pig charter school...
60
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:24,485
- Sir, the president's on the line!
- Give me that.
61
00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:27,363
Oh! Why do you do that?
62
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,117
Yes, Mr. President.
63
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,745
- Disconnected.
- I'll get him back!
64
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:37,332
Now what is all this about
a rogue student blog, Pollution Nerdz,
65
00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:40,460
talking about my foodstuffs
contaminating the groundwater
66
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:41,961
and poisoning the students?
67
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,755
It's slanderous.
And it may be true.
68
00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,506
If word got out,
we'd be ruined.
69
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:47,550
I got him back!
70
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:53,514
I'm going to...
give me that. Give me that.
71
00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:55,224
Yes, Mr. President.
72
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:59,854
Oh, everything is just going
beautifully... beautifully.
73
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:10,865
Look, there's...
there's always gonna...
74
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:17,664
There's always gonna be a Zuckerberg
in every school. Everything's fine.
75
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,710
Yes. And I'll see you
in Havana.
76
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:25,046
Yeah, I'll get the hookers.
Don't bring Michelle.
77
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:29,300
- Something wrong, boss?
- Everything is fine.
78
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:32,303
You just pay attention to that slogan
the spinmasters gave us:
79
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:35,306
"Propagation is health."
"Propagation is health."
80
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:38,559
And make sure... make sure those
students at Tromaville High School
81
00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:40,311
are loving it!
Are loving it!
82
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:42,480
- Oh, man.
- What do you want?
83
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:45,900
This Plasti taco mix foodstuff
don't look right, boss.
84
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,985
Well, you want to go green,
don't you?
85
00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:49,737
It looks green to me.
86
00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:01,290
Get over here, you bastard.
Give me my milk.
87
00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:03,668
Give me that.
Give me that.
88
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:06,838
Ah!
89
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,836
Do I look ripped, babe?
90
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,546
Oh, yeah.
91
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:51,007
Yeah.
92
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:58,639
Oh-ho-ho-ho.
93
00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:00,808
Oh-ho-ho-ho.
94
00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:03,978
What's he gonna do?
95
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:07,440
What's he gonna do?
96
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,234
- What's he gonna do?
- What's he gonna do?
97
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:11,861
- Ohh-hh.
- Ohh-hh.
98
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,866
Uh, Eugene.
99
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,576
Eugene.
100
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:20,661
Uh, Eugene.
101
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,830
Eugene. Eugene!
102
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,916
What is it?
103
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:27,335
Uh, it's that time
of the month
104
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:31,172
and it's a horror movie
down there, so...
105
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,174
Again?
106
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,384
That's what you said
last week.
107
00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:38,805
You know, I have toxic shock
syndrome from all the tampons.
108
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:41,432
And I got a headache, so...
109
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,476
Look, Chrissy,
110
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,228
I think you're super sexy
111
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:47,522
in a butch kind of way,
112
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:50,399
which is weird, because
what does that say about me?
113
00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:52,819
But we've been talking
114
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:55,530
about having sweet, sweaty,
115
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:58,199
dirty, kinky, really weird,
116
00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:00,451
fucked-up teenage sex
117
00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:02,870
in my big, blue,
118
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:07,542
white-cream-leather-seat
El Dorado for months now
119
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,502
and this is all I get?
120
00:11:12,296 --> 00:11:14,131
You have to be kidding me!
121
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:25,226
At least you broads
won't let me down.
122
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:34,819
Oh, I really need to get
another subscription.
123
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,413
Argh!
Oh, you're missing out.
124
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:48,958
You're really missing out.
You have no idea.
125
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,293
Argh!
126
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,757
Look out, Tromaville High.
127
00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:59,468
Here comes the new girl.
128
00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:09,186
Oh.
129
00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:23,451
Hey, new girl,
look at these titties.
130
00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:25,286
They're bigger than yours.
131
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,288
You want to go
to the prom with me?
132
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:30,041
Where you going?
133
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:38,007
What's her deal?
134
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,426
I don't know, but she is hot.
135
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:44,138
She's a rich bitch.
136
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:46,182
How the fuck would you know,
micro phallus?
137
00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:48,309
Attention, students.
138
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:52,021
Please empty all items
into the plastic tray
139
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:54,690
before passing through
the metal detector.
140
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,485
We've gone three days
without a shooting.
141
00:12:57,652 --> 00:13:00,029
Let's keep it up.
142
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,781
Come on.
143
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,544
She lives
in Tromaville Heights.
144
00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:18,297
My dad sold her family
their McMansion,
145
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,967
kind of like the one
you live in,
146
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,719
Marilyn McManson.
147
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:24,971
You twat.
148
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:28,724
Thank God for Zoloft
and thrift stores.
149
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,685
Would you pull this, please?
150
00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:35,731
Please, please, please,
let go, let go, let go.
151
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:39,026
Come on, guys, let's go.
152
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,619
Oh.
153
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:04,927
The pope retired.
154
00:14:20,317 --> 00:14:22,319
Fuck you.
155
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,533
Oh.
156
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:31,746
I am so sorry.
I really didn't...
157
00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:34,790
A brownnosing little rich girl
late for intramural Ping-Pong?
158
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,960
Ping-Pong is on Wednesdays.
159
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,795
Today is Monday.
160
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:42,715
I am right about one thing,
though, Miley Cyrus:
161
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,259
you are a brownnosing
little rich girl.
162
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:46,802
Looks like
Mommy and Daddy
163
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,679
won't be able to save you
from a beating this time.
164
00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,473
You know what?
Some of us
165
00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:52,558
actually have plans
for our future
166
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:56,771
that don't involve binge drinking,
trailer parks or food stamps.
167
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:01,442
Ow! Fuck!
168
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:04,278
I'm gonna get you, rich girl.
169
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:05,780
Ow.
170
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,328
Kevin, I'm home!
171
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,550
I love you, Kevin.
172
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,719
I know you'll never leave me.
173
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:47,071
It's great being rich
174
00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:49,115
and having a duck as a pet.
175
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,057
Okay, time to check my blog
176
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:16,976
and see how many eyes
I've opened up
177
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,353
with my investigation
of Tromorganic Farms.
178
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,063
OMG!
179
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:23,691
18 whole page views.
180
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:25,818
18 people have checked in.
181
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,862
What a month.
I'll need more bandwidth.
182
00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:31,699
Here are some
exclusive photos
183
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,868
from member
184
00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:36,245
Deeper Throat.
185
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:40,457
Not only does Tromorganics
secretly mix in
186
00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:43,377
what appears to be
sweetened wallpaper paste,
187
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:46,547
but the contaminated
groundwater
188
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,382
is everywhere.
189
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:52,553
The contaminated...
190
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,597
contamination...
191
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:56,765
um...
192
00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:01,228
Cyber malaise.
193
00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:04,315
Tiredness.
194
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:07,067
Horniness.
195
00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:09,904
Where is that one site
196
00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:13,240
with that chick that looks like
Angelina Jolie in "Gia"?
197
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,492
Jackpot
198
00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:19,622
All aboard the skin boat
to tuna town.
199
00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:54,448
Is everything okay in here, dear?
I heard crying.
200
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,283
Yeah, Aunt Bee.
201
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:58,118
I'm just feeling a little...
202
00:17:58,285 --> 00:18:01,455
Sad about being an orphan?
203
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:02,873
Now that you mention it.
204
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,917
No, that's not it.
205
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,627
I bet I know what it is.
206
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:10,214
- You do?
- Well, of course I do.
207
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:13,842
Don't worry, honey.
Someday you'll find the right boy.
208
00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,846
The right boy, yeah.
209
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,307
And don't you worry,
210
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:23,143
he won't be some deadbeat
211
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:25,479
goat sucker like your
stinking father,
212
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:26,981
that twat.
213
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:31,151
What's that?
214
00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:33,153
Looks like
215
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,656
foreshadowing?
216
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,458
Dinner's at 7:00.
It's tuna.
217
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,585
Please, God,
218
00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:51,338
get me out of this
Tromaville hole.
219
00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:53,841
Ugh.
220
00:19:14,903 --> 00:19:16,905
Nooo!
221
00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:19,867
Kevin. Kevin.
222
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,500
No.
223
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:37,885
Macaroni.
224
00:20:00,074 --> 00:20:01,825
Attention, students,
225
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:06,413
due to a recent outbreak
of jock itch and rectal rashes,
226
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,916
Coach Sandusky would like
227
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,418
all members of the boys'
wrestling team
228
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:15,589
to surrender their jockstraps
to him immediately.
229
00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:33,774
Attention, students.
Now I know you're all
230
00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:36,110
looking forward
to today's luncheon
231
00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:38,445
Super Duper Taco Tuesday
Spectacular,
232
00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:40,948
but it's come to my attention
233
00:20:41,115 --> 00:20:42,658
that there's a blogger
out there
234
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:45,702
by the name of
Lettuce Lover 69
235
00:20:45,869 --> 00:20:49,289
and they run the blog called
Pollution Nerdz.
236
00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:53,127
I have checked in on this
Pollution Nerdz blog
237
00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:54,670
18 times this month.
238
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:58,882
Now this blog is spreading
a lot of slanderous lies
239
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:02,803
about Tromaville High
and Tromorganic Foodstuffs Inc.
240
00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:05,305
They also have
a very bad attitude
241
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:08,308
towards conservative
principles in general.
242
00:21:08,475 --> 00:21:11,520
Leave Ronald Reagan alone.
243
00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:16,817
Now I'm all for free speech.
Otherwise why would I put out
244
00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:19,445
these thought-inhibiting
announcements every morning?
245
00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:23,323
But these lies about
contaminated, cheap
246
00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:26,452
and 98% Plasti filler
tainted foodstuffs
247
00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:28,328
are just malarkey.
248
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:40,841
Have you seen my duck?
His name is Kevin.
249
00:21:44,178 --> 00:21:45,846
Oh.
250
00:21:46,013 --> 00:21:47,639
Have you seen
my missing duck?
251
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:50,225
Can a duck
fill you up like Jesus?
252
00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:55,022
What kind of god
allows an innocent duck
253
00:21:55,189 --> 00:21:57,691
to go missing?
254
00:21:57,858 --> 00:22:01,904
Hey, there's that snotty rich girl.
I think she really likes me.
255
00:22:02,070 --> 00:22:04,364
- Hey, Twinkie.
- Hey!
256
00:22:04,531 --> 00:22:05,782
Ah!
257
00:22:05,949 --> 00:22:09,286
What a rich,
stuck-up bitch.
258
00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:11,371
Why won't anyone
go out with me?
259
00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:25,219
Yo, did you hear
Principal Westly's announcement?
260
00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:27,262
Are you gonna take down
Pollution Nerdz?
261
00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:29,515
Yo, Jeraldo!
262
00:22:29,681 --> 00:22:31,683
Caw-caw!
Caw-caw!
263
00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:35,229
Uh, would Gertrude Stein
take down her blog?
264
00:22:35,395 --> 00:22:38,273
Hell, no. So I stay full steam ahead
with Pollution Nerdz
265
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:39,816
and let's sally forth.
266
00:22:39,983 --> 00:22:43,111
Gertrude Stein was a rich
slacker bullshitter
267
00:22:43,278 --> 00:22:45,280
and her so-called poetry stunk.
268
00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:47,407
And please don't even go there
with Sally Forth...
269
00:22:47,574 --> 00:22:50,035
another sexually repressed
white American soccer mom
270
00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:53,330
who had boring adventures at work
and at home with no vibrator.
271
00:22:53,497 --> 00:22:55,415
You deserve your own
PBS special.
272
00:22:55,582 --> 00:22:57,751
- You know what you deserve?
- What's that, Henry Gates?
273
00:22:57,918 --> 00:23:00,504
Two feet shoved up
your fucking...
274
00:23:00,671 --> 00:23:04,216
Guys, my mom made me
a juicy roast beef sammich
275
00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:06,635
with dipping sauce...
dipping sauce.
276
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:08,428
You heard what he said, guys...
dipping sauce.
277
00:23:08,595 --> 00:23:09,846
You know what that means, right?
278
00:23:10,013 --> 00:23:12,724
Yeah, and I can feel my blood sugar
dipping right now.
279
00:23:12,891 --> 00:23:15,310
- I want to eat it.
- Let's go.
280
00:23:23,068 --> 00:23:24,945
It's cheaper than monkey shit,
281
00:23:25,112 --> 00:23:27,489
and these kids can't get enough
of it in their gullet.
282
00:23:27,656 --> 00:23:30,659
Hey, what's that green stuff
in the gluten-free tacos
283
00:23:30,826 --> 00:23:32,995
for Terrance, the glee club,
and the other nerds?
284
00:23:33,161 --> 00:23:36,373
Oh, that? That's just
nonchemically polluted guacamole.
285
00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:39,293
Wait, why did you mention
they were nonchemically polluted?
286
00:23:39,459 --> 00:23:40,627
Uh, no reason.
287
00:23:40,794 --> 00:23:42,254
Eh, whatever. I'm hungry.
288
00:23:57,019 --> 00:23:58,604
Hey, Terrance!
289
00:23:58,770 --> 00:24:03,025
How's that green, gluten-free,
nonchemically polluted taco?
290
00:24:34,181 --> 00:24:36,350
Hi, guys.
291
00:24:36,516 --> 00:24:38,393
Mind if I sit here?
292
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:39,686
No.
293
00:24:39,853 --> 00:24:41,980
Oh, my God.
294
00:24:45,192 --> 00:24:48,278
Hi. I'm Lauren.
295
00:24:53,367 --> 00:24:56,203
Don't worry,
it's just another school shooting.
296
00:24:56,370 --> 00:24:58,830
CNN won't even
cover them anymore.
297
00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:00,707
You can chill.
298
00:25:03,877 --> 00:25:06,922
Wow, rich girl
ain't fucking around.
299
00:25:07,089 --> 00:25:09,675
Where did you get
your lunch box... Tiffany's?
300
00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:16,056
Hey, you guys,
301
00:25:16,223 --> 00:25:19,059
I heard about this sick
party/rave
302
00:25:19,226 --> 00:25:22,896
in one of Tromaville's
356 foreclosed houses.
303
00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:25,482
You all should come.
304
00:25:25,649 --> 00:25:28,235
That sick party/rave
happens to be happening
305
00:25:28,402 --> 00:25:30,404
in my foreclosed house,
thank you very much.
306
00:25:30,570 --> 00:25:34,908
But it's only a small gathering,
so please keep it on the down low.
307
00:25:35,075 --> 00:25:36,952
Gross.
308
00:25:38,578 --> 00:25:42,082
Guys, guys, what with exams
coming up and whatnot,
309
00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:45,001
a blowout party/rave
310
00:25:45,168 --> 00:25:49,256
is just what Eugene needs!
311
00:25:49,423 --> 00:25:51,425
Great.
312
00:25:51,591 --> 00:25:54,594
I'm so happy for Eugene, who refers
to himself in the third person
313
00:25:54,761 --> 00:25:57,305
and will finally be able to blow off
some steam at my expense.
314
00:25:57,472 --> 00:25:59,433
I actually heard on NPR
315
00:25:59,599 --> 00:26:02,602
that the stress of studying for exams
and getting into a good college
316
00:26:02,769 --> 00:26:04,938
is actually worse
than the stress
317
00:26:05,105 --> 00:26:07,524
our soldiers face
in Afghanistan.
318
00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:10,444
The next time your car
319
00:26:10,610 --> 00:26:12,529
gets blown up by an IED
320
00:26:12,696 --> 00:26:15,866
or you're forced to bag the bodies
of children killed by a suicide bomber,
321
00:26:16,032 --> 00:26:19,369
you tell me if that stress
is greater than getting into Hobart.
322
00:26:19,536 --> 00:26:22,456
Oh!
323
00:26:22,622 --> 00:26:24,207
Wow, Slater,
324
00:26:24,374 --> 00:26:26,293
you have family members
in Afghanistan?
325
00:26:26,460 --> 00:26:28,170
No.
326
00:26:28,336 --> 00:26:31,131
But I did illegally download
"The Hurt Locker"
327
00:26:31,298 --> 00:26:32,632
and got sued
by the filmmakers.
328
00:26:32,799 --> 00:26:35,802
You see, Lauren,
now that's stress.
329
00:26:35,969 --> 00:26:39,181
Look at this bitch
and her Jap food.
330
00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:47,189
Miso soup,
me so hungry.
331
00:26:50,317 --> 00:26:52,319
Get away from me, you bully.
332
00:27:07,959 --> 00:27:10,003
I am so,
333
00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:13,173
so sorry.
334
00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:15,717
Fight, fight, fight, fight!
335
00:27:15,884 --> 00:27:17,511
What are you doing?
336
00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:21,181
Punch her uterus!
337
00:27:36,613 --> 00:27:38,949
Stop! That's enough.
338
00:27:39,115 --> 00:27:42,702
You are both going to detention
after school today.
339
00:27:42,869 --> 00:27:46,081
That's it. Get out.
340
00:27:46,248 --> 00:27:48,124
- I'm gonna get you, rich girl.
- Shut it!
341
00:27:48,291 --> 00:27:49,668
Get up.
342
00:27:56,216 --> 00:27:58,885
Uh, Lauren, hi.
343
00:27:59,052 --> 00:28:00,846
Uh, my name is Zac.
344
00:28:01,012 --> 00:28:03,223
- Let me help you with that.
- No, I got it.
345
00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:05,350
I just... I was wondering
346
00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:07,394
if sometime maybe you would
want to come over
347
00:28:07,561 --> 00:28:10,230
and we could watch Joel Schumacher's
"Batman and Robin."
348
00:28:11,773 --> 00:28:14,192
Or maybe you're more
of a "Transformers" girl.
349
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:17,070
They're more than meets the eye.
As long as it's not one of those
350
00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:20,240
god-awful "Star Wars" prequels,
we're all good.
351
00:28:20,407 --> 00:28:22,909
Zac, that's really nice
and everything, but...
352
00:28:23,076 --> 00:28:25,328
- It's 'cause I'm fat, right?
- No.
353
00:28:25,495 --> 00:28:27,539
- A lard-ass, right?
- No.
354
00:28:27,706 --> 00:28:30,667
To you, I'm just a jelly roll,
jizz dwarf,
355
00:28:30,834 --> 00:28:32,961
snatch badger, ass troll
356
00:28:33,128 --> 00:28:35,630
who eats donuts and cakes
and Twinkies and pies
357
00:28:35,797 --> 00:28:37,716
with his fat, fat, fatty-fat
piehole, right?
358
00:28:37,883 --> 00:28:39,259
What?
359
00:28:39,426 --> 00:28:41,261
What do all those words
even mean?
360
00:28:41,428 --> 00:28:43,555
Or maybe...
361
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:45,515
maybe you don't even
like boys at all.
362
00:28:45,682 --> 00:28:46,933
No.
363
00:28:47,100 --> 00:28:48,768
No, it's because you smell
364
00:28:48,935 --> 00:28:51,187
like roast beef.
365
00:28:53,648 --> 00:28:55,317
Shh. Shh. Shh.
366
00:28:55,483 --> 00:28:58,111
Shh, shh. It's okay. It's okay.
367
00:28:58,278 --> 00:29:01,323
Guys, guys, guys.
We like that smell, right?
368
00:29:01,489 --> 00:29:03,742
- Roast beef?
- No, he smells like shit.
369
00:29:03,909 --> 00:29:05,535
You shouldn't have said
"Batman and Robin," man.
370
00:29:05,702 --> 00:29:09,289
It's "Batman Forever."
"Batman Forever," baby.
371
00:29:22,636 --> 00:29:24,804
Help.
372
00:29:27,057 --> 00:29:29,059
Help.
373
00:29:33,104 --> 00:29:35,106
Whoa.
374
00:29:52,999 --> 00:29:55,794
Goddamn diabetic kids.
375
00:30:11,726 --> 00:30:14,312
You're out of your mind.
I love Justin Bieber.
376
00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:17,023
Justin Bieber is the best.
377
00:30:17,190 --> 00:30:19,985
Whoa. Whoa.
378
00:30:20,151 --> 00:30:22,570
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa!
379
00:30:22,737 --> 00:30:25,115
Come on, guys.
This is awesome. Come on.
380
00:30:33,707 --> 00:30:36,501
What in the name
of Christ is going on here?
381
00:30:40,630 --> 00:30:42,716
Look, I love Justin Bieber.
382
00:30:58,064 --> 00:30:59,816
No! Why?
383
00:30:59,983 --> 00:31:02,902
OMG, this picture will totally get me
384
00:31:03,069 --> 00:31:05,613
at least six more forwards
on Instagram.
385
00:31:05,780 --> 00:31:07,574
This is so going
on my blog.
386
00:31:07,741 --> 00:31:09,868
I'm just waiting
for Myspace to come back.
387
00:31:11,244 --> 00:31:12,328
Stop, everyone!
388
00:31:12,495 --> 00:31:15,081
Step back, come on.
This is a horrible accident.
389
00:31:15,248 --> 00:31:16,416
Step back now.
Step back.
390
00:31:16,583 --> 00:31:18,418
Give him his dignity.
391
00:31:18,585 --> 00:31:20,295
Is there a doctor
in the house?
392
00:31:22,714 --> 00:31:26,718
Scratch that.
ls there a janitor in the house?
393
00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:29,179
Now it's a well-known fact
394
00:31:29,345 --> 00:31:32,098
that this student was
a smoker of the marijuana.
395
00:31:32,265 --> 00:31:34,934
And I'm willing to bet
that his dental records will prove
396
00:31:35,101 --> 00:31:36,978
he was a drama student.
397
00:31:37,145 --> 00:31:39,022
And the smoking of ganja
398
00:31:39,189 --> 00:31:41,066
has been known
to cause cranial explosions
399
00:31:41,232 --> 00:31:44,027
and this type of thing
in overly dramatic students.
400
00:31:44,194 --> 00:31:46,571
What?
Wait, wait.
401
00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:49,657
Actually, I've just been
informed
402
00:31:49,824 --> 00:31:51,743
that we've all witnessed here
403
00:31:51,910 --> 00:31:55,455
is in fact a drama department's
latest venture.
404
00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:58,958
It's a remake of Arthur Miller's classic
"Death of a Salesman"
405
00:31:59,125 --> 00:32:01,002
as imagined by
Christopher Nolan.
406
00:32:01,169 --> 00:32:02,837
So nothing to see here.
407
00:32:03,004 --> 00:32:05,090
Everyone back to class.
408
00:32:26,027 --> 00:32:27,821
Hey, watch it.
409
00:32:37,997 --> 00:32:41,334
Why are you bullying me?
410
00:32:41,501 --> 00:32:43,711
What have I ever done to you?
411
00:32:43,878 --> 00:32:46,548
Bullying?
You think I'm a bully?
412
00:32:49,008 --> 00:32:51,344
You want to know why?
413
00:32:51,511 --> 00:32:54,180
Because people like you
have it so easy.
414
00:32:54,347 --> 00:32:58,768
Poor little rich girl
never had to work a day in her life
415
00:32:58,935 --> 00:33:00,812
while I can barely
afford lunch.
416
00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:04,732
It makes me sick.
So fuck you.
417
00:33:04,899 --> 00:33:07,610
Why don't you stick your silver
chopstick up your bento box?
418
00:33:07,777 --> 00:33:09,320
You don't know me.
419
00:33:09,487 --> 00:33:13,199
And I don't own
any silver chopsticks.
420
00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:23,042
What's with
the skinless Furbies?
421
00:33:23,209 --> 00:33:26,379
I like babies.
422
00:33:26,546 --> 00:33:29,757
I want to have
a lot of them one day.
423
00:33:31,050 --> 00:33:35,138
Only fame-whore teen moms
who want to be on MTV,
424
00:33:35,305 --> 00:33:38,641
rich kids and drooling idiots
want to have babies.
425
00:33:38,808 --> 00:33:41,603
That's it, Chrissy Goldberg.
To the principal's office, now.
426
00:33:41,769 --> 00:33:44,981
But Westly said if I show up one more
time this year, he'll suspend me.
427
00:33:45,148 --> 00:33:47,567
Wait, Miss Bliss, it was me.
428
00:33:47,734 --> 00:33:49,652
I was the one
who was talking.
429
00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:52,864
I'm new here
and I don't know too many people,
430
00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:55,241
so I just...
431
00:33:56,576 --> 00:33:59,245
Well, all right.
Just sit down and shut up.
432
00:33:59,412 --> 00:34:01,414
Okay.
433
00:34:02,916 --> 00:34:05,335
No more talking.
434
00:34:06,836 --> 00:34:09,088
That was stupid, rich girl.
435
00:34:28,191 --> 00:34:31,152
The new girl
has beautiful hair.
436
00:34:32,487 --> 00:34:34,405
What did you say?
437
00:34:34,572 --> 00:34:37,492
Uh, I said old Westly looks like
a fat-ass bear.
438
00:34:40,495 --> 00:34:43,998
Your jokes make me so hot.
We should totally bang tonight.
439
00:34:46,626 --> 00:34:49,796
Taco Tuesday
was a huge success.
440
00:34:49,963 --> 00:34:52,048
But, unfortunately,
441
00:34:52,215 --> 00:34:55,051
we also suffered
a horrible tragedy.
442
00:34:55,218 --> 00:34:57,845
We all loved
and respected little
443
00:34:58,012 --> 00:35:01,808
Timmy... Tommy...
Terrance Horowitz, I don't know.
444
00:35:01,975 --> 00:35:04,644
But like Mama Cass
445
00:35:04,811 --> 00:35:07,397
from The Mamas and the Papas
446
00:35:07,563 --> 00:35:09,399
who choked to death
on a ham sandwich,
447
00:35:09,565 --> 00:35:12,485
this unfortunate kid,
whatever his name was,
448
00:35:12,652 --> 00:35:14,946
suffered the same
accidental fate.
449
00:35:15,113 --> 00:35:18,825
Now I can't stress enough
the word "accidental" there.
450
00:35:18,992 --> 00:35:21,995
No! 'Twas those terrible
Tuesday Tacos
451
00:35:22,161 --> 00:35:24,122
that tragically
transformed Terrance.
452
00:35:24,289 --> 00:35:27,083
Nice alliteration, yo.
453
00:35:27,250 --> 00:35:30,169
Don't you people see?
It was the food!
454
00:35:30,336 --> 00:35:31,504
Get him out.
Get him out.
455
00:35:31,671 --> 00:35:34,382
- Security. Out.
- No.
456
00:35:34,549 --> 00:35:36,884
- No. No.
- Get him out of here.
457
00:35:37,051 --> 00:35:39,012
No!
458
00:35:39,178 --> 00:35:41,055
No. No!
459
00:35:41,222 --> 00:35:45,643
"The Class of Nuke 'Em High"
was an inside job!
460
00:35:46,894 --> 00:35:50,106
You've got the wrong person,
you blind bozo.
461
00:35:50,273 --> 00:35:52,775
Now I would like
to further eulogize
462
00:35:52,942 --> 00:35:56,696
our decapitated
comrade in education
463
00:35:56,863 --> 00:35:59,449
by having our lovely
glee club come out
464
00:35:59,615 --> 00:36:01,117
to sing a song.
465
00:36:20,219 --> 00:36:23,765
You know, Patrick, the glee club
isn't as gay as it used to be,
466
00:36:23,931 --> 00:36:26,809
thanks to the Fox Network.
467
00:36:26,976 --> 00:36:28,561
Head explod...
468
00:36:28,728 --> 00:36:32,648
head exploding is a serious
problem, y'all.
469
00:36:32,815 --> 00:36:34,734
And we're here
to talk about it.
470
00:36:34,901 --> 00:36:37,904
So if you're worried,
don't be,
471
00:36:38,071 --> 00:36:40,990
'cause we are too.
Three, four...
472
00:37:47,515 --> 00:37:49,767
Oh!
473
00:37:54,147 --> 00:37:55,523
Yeah!
474
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:19,464
Oh, my God,
the glee club is bulimic!
475
00:39:32,578 --> 00:39:34,413
Ah!
476
00:39:36,707 --> 00:39:38,709
Hey, wait up.
477
00:39:45,591 --> 00:39:48,970
Do you guys notice
anything different?
478
00:39:49,136 --> 00:39:51,430
Whoa, we've mutated.
479
00:39:51,597 --> 00:39:54,475
And my wheelchair has illogically
mutated too.
480
00:39:54,642 --> 00:39:57,812
And I think I can feel
my legs.
481
00:39:57,979 --> 00:40:01,107
No, never mind.
Still a cripple.
482
00:40:01,274 --> 00:40:02,692
Oh, snap.
483
00:40:02,858 --> 00:40:06,112
Kick-fucking-ass!
484
00:40:06,279 --> 00:40:08,656
Yeah.
485
00:40:13,786 --> 00:40:15,288
Whoa.
486
00:40:19,458 --> 00:40:22,211
Come on.
487
00:40:50,990 --> 00:40:52,700
These jugglers
are fucking nuts.
488
00:41:11,510 --> 00:41:13,054
We're alive.
489
00:41:13,220 --> 00:41:15,014
It's a motherfucking miracle.
490
00:41:40,790 --> 00:41:42,249
What kind of a god allows me...
491
00:41:42,416 --> 00:41:44,335
...on this crappy
teacher's salary
492
00:41:44,502 --> 00:41:46,379
to be forced to live
out of my car?
493
00:42:01,977 --> 00:42:04,563
What kind of a god are you?
494
00:42:04,730 --> 00:42:06,982
I'd even take
a shoebox apartment,
495
00:42:07,149 --> 00:42:10,695
even if it is
in Tromaville crack town.
496
00:42:10,861 --> 00:42:13,072
Whoo!
497
00:42:15,241 --> 00:42:16,534
Uh-oh.
498
00:42:16,701 --> 00:42:19,578
Hey, Mrs. Crabtree.
499
00:42:36,303 --> 00:42:38,305
Your singing is terrible.
500
00:43:11,547 --> 00:43:13,424
- Hey, Mrs. Crabtree.
- Huh?
501
00:43:13,591 --> 00:43:16,719
You know, when I was a kid,
all the kids used to tease me,
502
00:43:16,886 --> 00:43:18,304
call me a cripple.
503
00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:20,806
Yeah, yeah.
Now I'm the only one I know
504
00:43:20,973 --> 00:43:22,808
that can run a quarter mile
each day
505
00:43:22,975 --> 00:43:24,518
on their arms!
506
00:43:24,685 --> 00:43:26,145
Do it.
507
00:43:28,147 --> 00:43:31,150
Oh, snap.
508
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:35,070
Oh, my God, I'm hard...
509
00:43:35,237 --> 00:43:37,114
...for the first time.
510
00:43:37,281 --> 00:43:38,657
Oh.
511
00:43:38,824 --> 00:43:40,826
Oh, my God.
512
00:43:40,993 --> 00:43:42,661
Oh, my God, I'm hard.
513
00:43:45,039 --> 00:43:46,832
Oh, God!
514
00:43:55,382 --> 00:43:56,759
Ein...
515
00:43:56,926 --> 00:43:59,553
...zwei, drei!
516
00:44:02,765 --> 00:44:04,350
Oh, snap.
517
00:44:07,353 --> 00:44:09,980
Come on, come on.
518
00:44:21,575 --> 00:44:24,578
Ichi, ni, san!
519
00:44:28,999 --> 00:44:31,502
What the fuck?
520
00:44:31,669 --> 00:44:33,087
Hey!
521
00:44:33,254 --> 00:44:35,256
- Let's go shoot up a movie theater.
- Yeah.
522
00:44:58,195 --> 00:45:00,072
Kevin!
523
00:45:01,699 --> 00:45:04,577
Kevin!
524
00:45:04,743 --> 00:45:06,912
Kevin, where are you?
525
00:45:11,375 --> 00:45:14,253
Kevin. Oh.
526
00:45:14,420 --> 00:45:17,590
Oh, don't you ever, ever, ever
do that again.
527
00:45:17,756 --> 00:45:21,010
Do you hear me?
I was so worried about you.
528
00:45:21,176 --> 00:45:23,095
It's okay. It's okay.
529
00:45:23,262 --> 00:45:25,097
Mommy's here now.
530
00:45:25,264 --> 00:45:28,642
Oh, poor baby,
what's all over your beak?
531
00:46:07,973 --> 00:46:10,017
Please give me my duck back.
532
00:46:10,184 --> 00:46:12,937
Please give me
my duck back.
533
00:46:13,103 --> 00:46:15,272
Oh, for a kiss, I will.
534
00:46:15,439 --> 00:46:17,650
I'd just as soon kiss a duck.
535
00:46:17,816 --> 00:46:19,360
I can arrange that.
536
00:46:25,074 --> 00:46:27,785
Oh, no, no.
Please, no.
537
00:46:27,952 --> 00:46:30,537
Duck rape!
538
00:46:30,704 --> 00:46:33,415
- Give me the duck.
- Duck rape!
539
00:46:33,582 --> 00:46:35,417
Smile for the birdie.
540
00:46:35,584 --> 00:46:38,212
Duck rape.
541
00:46:44,385 --> 00:46:46,387
Loser.
542
00:46:50,391 --> 00:46:52,434
Loser.
543
00:47:21,046 --> 00:47:22,381
I'm sorry.
544
00:47:24,550 --> 00:47:27,970
If you guys were tough,
you wouldn't need weapons.
545
00:47:31,598 --> 00:47:33,434
Sorry, I'm kind of busy
right now.
546
00:47:35,728 --> 00:47:36,895
Whoa.
547
00:47:43,318 --> 00:47:47,448
Sorry, duck down throat
is not covered under Obamacare.
548
00:47:47,614 --> 00:47:49,241
Ugh.
549
00:48:19,688 --> 00:48:21,440
Ooh.
550
00:48:30,491 --> 00:48:32,659
Uh, I'm still busy.
551
00:48:34,161 --> 00:48:36,330
Ooh!
552
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:43,003
Shit.
553
00:48:45,964 --> 00:48:47,716
Hey.
554
00:48:47,883 --> 00:48:51,428
Why did the chick with a duck
in her mouth cross the road?
555
00:48:51,595 --> 00:48:53,472
Get in, foul mouth.
556
00:48:53,639 --> 00:48:55,974
What, is this some kind of
political statement, rich girl?
557
00:48:56,141 --> 00:48:59,061
Really?
558
00:48:59,228 --> 00:49:00,854
Really?
559
00:49:01,021 --> 00:49:03,023
God damn.
560
00:49:03,190 --> 00:49:04,566
Oh, whatever,
I owe you one.
561
00:49:04,733 --> 00:49:06,985
That bird in your mouth
562
00:49:07,152 --> 00:49:09,488
really brings out your eyes.
563
00:49:12,282 --> 00:49:14,368
All right, welcome.
564
00:49:15,994 --> 00:49:18,163
Okay, um...
565
00:49:18,330 --> 00:49:20,082
eww.
566
00:49:25,129 --> 00:49:28,382
Oh. What?
567
00:49:47,526 --> 00:49:49,403
Oh!
568
00:49:49,570 --> 00:49:51,238
Ugh.
569
00:49:52,573 --> 00:49:54,449
- I...
- Oh, I...
570
00:49:56,493 --> 00:49:58,871
Come on, we'll just go relax.
571
00:49:59,037 --> 00:50:00,914
Aw.
572
00:50:01,081 --> 00:50:04,042
Hi, Kevin.
573
00:50:15,596 --> 00:50:16,763
- Huh?
- Huh?
574
00:50:16,930 --> 00:50:19,600
Damn duck must have got
into some bath salts.
575
00:50:21,518 --> 00:50:24,521
Thank you.
576
00:50:24,688 --> 00:50:26,690
Yeah, whatever.
577
00:50:28,358 --> 00:50:30,819
So...
578
00:50:30,986 --> 00:50:33,363
I'm going
to this party tonight and...
579
00:50:33,530 --> 00:50:37,451
Oh, I should go,
let you get ready.
580
00:50:37,618 --> 00:50:39,745
Uh, rich girl...
581
00:50:41,079 --> 00:50:43,540
do you want to go?
582
00:51:11,902 --> 00:51:14,738
Really? Does this look like
a garbage dump to you?
583
00:51:14,905 --> 00:51:17,157
Chrissy.
584
00:51:17,324 --> 00:51:19,618
Some assholes posted
my address on Facebook.
585
00:51:19,785 --> 00:51:20,953
Now look.
586
00:51:24,498 --> 00:51:26,333
I think it was the producers
of "The Hurt Locker."
587
00:51:26,500 --> 00:51:28,335
They had my IP address.
I know it.
588
00:51:28,502 --> 00:51:30,879
Uh-huh.
Slater, you remember Lauren?
589
00:51:31,046 --> 00:51:32,673
Yeah. Aloha.
590
00:51:32,839 --> 00:51:35,842
Didn't you guys hate each other,
like, eight hours ago?
591
00:51:36,009 --> 00:51:39,012
Uh, don't you want to get rid
of the social hand grenades?
592
00:51:40,264 --> 00:51:42,808
Whoa!
593
00:51:42,975 --> 00:51:44,726
Us black people
can't get enough white pussy,
594
00:51:44,893 --> 00:51:47,229
and I'm just saying that my chances
might be pretty solid
595
00:51:47,396 --> 00:51:49,356
if I get a white girl
drunk enough.
596
00:51:49,523 --> 00:51:53,360
Yo, Slater, the donkey took
a huge shit in the bathtub.
597
00:51:53,527 --> 00:51:54,903
I gotta go.
598
00:52:10,669 --> 00:52:13,255
- Feeling better?
- Yeah, much. Thanks.
599
00:52:13,422 --> 00:52:17,217
I needed to get my mind
off that, you know, duck rape.
600
00:52:19,761 --> 00:52:21,388
Eugene just broke up
with me.
601
00:52:21,555 --> 00:52:23,473
Oh, no. I'm so sorry.
Over a text?
602
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:26,560
Yeah. He's an idiot.
He didn't even finish the message.
603
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:34,568
Eww.
604
00:52:37,237 --> 00:52:39,740
- Let's dance.
- Okay.
605
00:55:04,593 --> 00:55:09,014
So this room is
a little prewar, right?
606
00:56:41,314 --> 00:56:44,067
I think I'm coming.
607
00:56:44,234 --> 00:56:47,988
Oh, I'm coming.
I think I'm coming.
608
00:57:07,090 --> 00:57:08,675
Aww.
609
00:57:51,426 --> 00:57:55,555
Yo, yo, yo, my niggas
my jiggas, my wiggas,
610
00:57:55,722 --> 00:57:59,059
Eugene the Machine
has arrived
611
00:57:59,225 --> 00:58:01,561
and he feels alive!
612
00:58:01,728 --> 00:58:04,856
Now y'all give him five!
613
00:58:08,818 --> 00:58:10,695
That's it? Nothing?
614
00:58:10,862 --> 00:58:14,074
Not even an impromptu
dance number?
615
00:58:15,408 --> 00:58:17,077
Eugene needs a drink.
616
00:58:22,791 --> 00:58:25,835
I used to smoke after sex.
Now I broccoli.
617
00:58:27,504 --> 00:58:29,381
So what do we do now?
618
00:58:29,547 --> 00:58:32,509
Come out of the closet like Ellen?
I think we should.
619
00:58:33,802 --> 00:58:36,221
You can't even wear a hoodie
and eat Skittles in this town
620
00:58:36,388 --> 00:58:38,264
without getting shot.
621
00:58:38,431 --> 00:58:41,559
A hoodie? Are you saying being gay
is worse than being black?
622
00:58:41,726 --> 00:58:44,604
No, I'm saying
that in this town
623
00:58:44,771 --> 00:58:47,649
people think that LGBT
stands for
624
00:58:47,816 --> 00:58:51,069
"lynch, grope, bully, torture."
625
00:58:51,236 --> 00:58:53,822
I'll stick with the closet, thanks.
626
00:59:01,037 --> 00:59:04,332
Whoa, Eugene likes it rough.
627
00:59:04,499 --> 00:59:06,793
Eugene needs some.
628
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:09,295
Yeah?
You want to see this?
629
00:59:09,462 --> 00:59:10,964
Whoa.
630
00:59:15,009 --> 00:59:17,220
I'm gonna show 'em to you, baby.
631
00:59:17,387 --> 00:59:19,180
I'm gonna show you
everything I got.
632
00:59:19,347 --> 00:59:22,350
Baby, Eugene needs to see.
633
00:59:22,517 --> 00:59:25,311
Oh. Oh-ho-ho.
634
00:59:29,774 --> 00:59:31,776
Oh, yeah.
635
00:59:34,487 --> 00:59:37,782
Oh, baby,
it's been a long time.
636
00:59:37,949 --> 00:59:39,617
You've got no idea.
637
00:59:47,333 --> 00:59:49,335
Oh, snap.
638
00:59:52,297 --> 00:59:55,467
Eugene can't wait.
Eugene ain't got more patience.
639
00:59:55,633 --> 00:59:58,428
Eugene needs
to feel this now.
640
00:59:58,595 --> 01:00:01,097
- Yeah? Are you gonna touch it?
- Yeah, I'm gonna touch it.
641
01:00:01,264 --> 01:00:03,808
I'm gonna touch it.
I'm gonna touch it.
642
01:00:03,975 --> 01:00:06,269
What you got?
Oh, man.
643
01:00:06,436 --> 01:00:09,689
Oh, man.
Oh, man!
644
01:00:09,856 --> 01:00:14,152
You really are a man!
645
01:00:18,531 --> 01:00:21,493
A party,
and we were not invited.
646
01:00:23,286 --> 01:00:25,163
Donatello,
647
01:00:25,330 --> 01:00:27,207
let's give them a shot.
648
01:00:27,373 --> 01:00:28,708
Yup.
649
01:00:28,875 --> 01:00:31,586
Eugene is confused.
650
01:00:31,753 --> 01:00:33,755
Malfunction. Malfunction.
651
01:00:33,922 --> 01:00:36,257
Machine shutdown.
652
01:00:55,485 --> 01:00:58,112
Let's get out of here.
653
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:04,577
But I'm also saying
654
01:01:04,744 --> 01:01:07,747
that I've never felt
this way before.
655
01:01:07,914 --> 01:01:09,874
Me either.
656
01:01:10,041 --> 01:01:12,252
It's the love that dare not
speak its name.
657
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:21,511
- This is hot.
- Yeah, this is so hot.
658
01:01:21,678 --> 01:01:24,180
No, like really hot.
659
01:01:24,347 --> 01:01:26,558
Like, I'm burning up.
660
01:01:26,724 --> 01:01:29,227
Wait, do you smell smoke?
661
01:01:36,943 --> 01:01:38,528
- Fire!
- Fire!
662
01:02:04,178 --> 01:02:06,055
It's okay.
I got my hat.
663
01:02:06,222 --> 01:02:09,267
What kind of a god would turn
a glee club into Cretins?
664
01:02:09,434 --> 01:02:11,811
My house.
665
01:02:11,978 --> 01:02:13,396
My house.
666
01:02:13,563 --> 01:02:16,190
After-party at my place?
I got pizza rolls in the freezer.
667
01:02:16,357 --> 01:02:18,651
- Pizza rolls?
- My house!
668
01:02:18,818 --> 01:02:21,487
My commemorative plates!
Those fucking monsters!
669
01:02:21,654 --> 01:02:23,656
It's okay. We'll put them
in the oven right now...
670
01:02:23,823 --> 01:02:25,283
sausage, pepperoni, vegan...
671
01:02:25,450 --> 01:02:29,495
Will you shut up?
I didn't even invite you!
672
01:02:29,662 --> 01:02:31,748
Those bastards.
673
01:02:31,915 --> 01:02:33,625
They could have
killed somebody.
674
01:03:12,956 --> 01:03:15,959
I think I'm...
675
01:04:40,418 --> 01:04:43,880
Mm, mm.
676
01:05:14,327 --> 01:05:16,162
Huh?
677
01:05:46,692 --> 01:05:49,070
Look at these jerks.
678
01:05:49,237 --> 01:05:51,072
They call themselves Cretins.
679
01:05:51,239 --> 01:05:54,700
They look more like
Glee-tins to me.
680
01:05:57,870 --> 01:06:01,082
Donatello, burn some rubber!
681
01:06:01,249 --> 01:06:03,084
Motherfuckers!
682
01:06:12,552 --> 01:06:13,719
Give me the duck.
683
01:06:15,096 --> 01:06:16,806
You wouldn't hit a cripple,
would you?
684
01:06:16,973 --> 01:06:19,267
Yeah, I would.
685
01:06:23,229 --> 01:06:24,897
Hey, we was just kiddin'.
686
01:06:25,064 --> 01:06:28,067
Duck rape is life-affirming.
It was on NPR.
687
01:06:28,234 --> 01:06:31,237
Oh, well, this ain't about
duck rape.
688
01:06:31,404 --> 01:06:33,406
It's about dick rape.
689
01:06:33,573 --> 01:06:35,908
No! No!
690
01:06:49,088 --> 01:06:51,257
- Whoa!
- Oh, shit.
691
01:07:17,533 --> 01:07:19,535
...mother's body
began to change too.
692
01:07:19,702 --> 01:07:22,079
Time for the baby
to leave the nest.
693
01:07:24,999 --> 01:07:27,668
Something's about to burst,
and it's not my water.
694
01:07:27,835 --> 01:07:29,295
What the...?
695
01:07:33,466 --> 01:07:36,844
What the fuck?
You stole my heart.
696
01:07:37,011 --> 01:07:39,555
Don't take my heart. Argh!
697
01:07:41,307 --> 01:07:43,100
Look at those
cholesterol levels.
698
01:07:43,267 --> 01:07:45,269
He should have went vegan.
699
01:07:46,812 --> 01:07:48,731
My dick is hungry.
700
01:07:48,898 --> 01:07:50,066
Mm-hmm.
701
01:07:52,902 --> 01:07:54,445
Please don't hurt us.
702
01:07:56,530 --> 01:07:58,741
Wait, we're not with them.
703
01:07:58,908 --> 01:08:00,826
We're just...
we're just extras.
704
01:08:00,993 --> 01:08:03,537
Yeah, that... that's it.
705
01:08:14,840 --> 01:08:16,676
Uh-oh, cops.
706
01:08:16,842 --> 01:08:19,220
- Yeah, suck that dick.
- Oh, snap.
707
01:08:24,767 --> 01:08:28,521
Yeah, suck that dirty, sleazy
Cretin dick.
708
01:08:28,688 --> 01:08:31,607
- All right, that's enough.
- The coppers?
709
01:08:31,774 --> 01:08:34,402
Fuck you, fucking cops.
I'm a victim, man.
710
01:08:34,568 --> 01:08:37,113
I was born in Orange County.
Coddle me.
711
01:08:37,280 --> 01:08:38,906
Hey.
712
01:08:40,533 --> 01:08:42,201
What is with the youth
of today?
713
01:08:42,368 --> 01:08:44,120
We're the youth
of tomorrow.
714
01:09:14,483 --> 01:09:16,152
I'm so pissed.
715
01:09:16,319 --> 01:09:19,905
I need revenge.
I need an outlet for my anger.
716
01:09:20,072 --> 01:09:23,951
Oh, snap. Maybe we need
some new blood.
717
01:09:24,118 --> 01:09:26,829
Yes, but who?
718
01:09:26,996 --> 01:09:30,082
Excuse me. Hi.
I have baked goods.
719
01:09:30,249 --> 01:09:33,252
Hey, guys,
what's the haps?
720
01:09:37,506 --> 01:09:39,842
Hi. I want to join your gang.
721
01:09:43,929 --> 01:09:45,931
You think you got
what it takes, lard-ass?
722
01:09:46,098 --> 01:09:50,186
I just want to belong.
723
01:09:50,353 --> 01:09:51,896
Oh-ho.
724
01:09:54,607 --> 01:09:57,193
Why don't you go get revenge
on your two bitch-ass friends?
725
01:09:57,360 --> 01:09:59,236
And then we can see
what we can do.
726
01:09:59,403 --> 01:10:00,446
Lauren and Chrissy?
727
01:10:00,613 --> 01:10:02,823
Yeah, dipshit. Got it?
728
01:10:04,450 --> 01:10:07,328
Go. Go, go, go.
729
01:10:07,495 --> 01:10:09,997
- Oh, snap.
730
01:10:18,881 --> 01:10:22,051
That's why they call me
Cigar Face.
731
01:10:23,594 --> 01:10:26,263
Hey. Hey, hey, hey,
no laughing. No laughing.
732
01:10:26,430 --> 01:10:28,808
Now listen very carefully...
very carefully.
733
01:10:28,974 --> 01:10:30,684
Some of our innocent young
734
01:10:30,851 --> 01:10:32,812
glee club members
from the high school
735
01:10:32,978 --> 01:10:35,314
have been savagely,
savagely murdered.
736
01:10:35,481 --> 01:10:37,358
And I'm hearing that the culprits
are two women...
737
01:10:37,525 --> 01:10:38,943
- Hmm?
- ...one of whom...
738
01:10:39,110 --> 01:10:40,528
one of whom has
a giant penis.
739
01:10:40,694 --> 01:10:42,947
Now I want you to go out
and kill all women
740
01:10:43,114 --> 01:10:45,116
- with giant penises.
- Oh.
741
01:10:45,282 --> 01:10:46,492
Do you understand?
742
01:10:46,659 --> 01:10:47,868
But that means every wife.
743
01:10:48,035 --> 01:10:50,162
And mother-in-law
in Tromaville.
744
01:10:50,329 --> 01:10:52,164
That's the point.
Now go,
745
01:10:52,331 --> 01:10:55,376
kill all women
with giant penises.
746
01:10:55,543 --> 01:10:57,837
Sir, the president's wife
is on the line.
747
01:10:58,003 --> 01:11:00,005
She heard about your
planned trip to Cuba.
748
01:11:00,172 --> 01:11:01,340
She's really pissed.
749
01:11:01,507 --> 01:11:03,676
Give me that.
750
01:11:03,843 --> 01:11:05,719
I'm not making the mistake
this time.
751
01:11:05,886 --> 01:11:08,431
Yes, Mrs. President.
752
01:11:10,141 --> 01:11:13,227
What? You're coming over here?
You're coming... what time is it?
753
01:11:13,394 --> 01:11:14,854
- Oh! Oh!
- Oh, my God.
754
01:11:23,362 --> 01:11:24,947
Uh, listen, I...
755
01:11:25,114 --> 01:11:27,575
I knew it. I blew it.
You've been with better.
756
01:11:27,741 --> 01:11:29,618
Look, you don't have to tell me.
I know.
757
01:11:29,785 --> 01:11:31,704
My vagina looks like
a slab of roast beef.
758
01:11:31,871 --> 01:11:33,581
And I don't douche
as often as I should.
759
01:11:33,747 --> 01:11:35,291
And I think I might have
queefed in your mouth
760
01:11:35,458 --> 01:11:38,169
- when you went down on me.
- Oh, God, stop. No.
761
01:11:38,335 --> 01:11:41,547
Are you kidding me?
It was the best night of my life.
762
01:11:41,714 --> 01:11:44,383
Did you have any
strange dreams?
763
01:11:46,385 --> 01:11:48,220
I had super weird dreams.
764
01:11:48,387 --> 01:11:49,597
Holy shit, me too.
765
01:11:49,763 --> 01:11:52,391
I'm still not sure
if those were dreams.
766
01:11:52,558 --> 01:11:55,644
OMG, I was thinking
the same exact thing.
767
01:11:55,811 --> 01:11:58,898
We could be
a lesbianic Jekyll and Hyde.
768
01:12:01,066 --> 01:12:03,402
Wait, you queefed
in my mouth?
769
01:12:03,569 --> 01:12:05,571
No, of course not.
770
01:12:23,255 --> 01:12:25,466
What is up, BFFs?
771
01:12:25,633 --> 01:12:27,593
STFU, Zac.
772
01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:30,179
Check it. An anonymous
contributor to my blog,
773
01:12:30,346 --> 01:12:32,932
Deeper Throat,
sent me some crazy videos
774
01:12:33,098 --> 01:12:35,267
of what actually goes on
at Tromorganic.
775
01:12:35,434 --> 01:12:39,104
The "Tromorganic-Westly Conspiracy"
has to have gone viral by now.
776
01:12:39,271 --> 01:12:41,273
Holy shit.
777
01:12:41,440 --> 01:12:43,484
Are those the missing
Tromaville students?
778
01:12:43,651 --> 01:12:45,611
Yeah, I know.
I didn't believe it myself.
779
01:12:45,778 --> 01:12:48,531
- Uh-huh.
- What is that?
780
01:12:48,697 --> 01:12:50,115
Look at this part.
Look at this part.
781
01:12:50,282 --> 01:12:52,117
Look what he's about to do.
782
01:12:52,284 --> 01:12:53,786
It's so crazy.
783
01:12:53,953 --> 01:12:55,788
They're being slaughtered,
784
01:12:55,955 --> 01:12:57,790
like Bambi's mother.
785
01:12:57,957 --> 01:13:00,793
Okay, guys, to be continued.
786
01:13:00,960 --> 01:13:03,337
Oh, snap.
787
01:13:03,504 --> 01:13:05,548
Oh, shit.
788
01:13:05,714 --> 01:13:08,342
- The Cretins are coming.
- They're gonna sing again.
789
01:13:54,388 --> 01:13:56,140
All right, well,
790
01:13:56,307 --> 01:13:58,017
- I gotta go to gym class.
- Yeah.
791
01:13:58,183 --> 01:14:00,144
- So I'll catch you later?
- Uh-huh.
792
01:14:10,863 --> 01:14:12,531
Okay, then.
793
01:14:12,698 --> 01:14:14,158
See ya.
794
01:14:14,325 --> 01:14:15,743
- Bye.
- Bye.
795
01:14:27,755 --> 01:14:30,132
NASA also gave us
some pretty interesting
796
01:14:30,299 --> 01:14:31,884
derivatives of
the space program:
797
01:14:32,051 --> 01:14:34,970
not just Tang...
America's favorite breakfast drink,
798
01:14:35,137 --> 01:14:37,973
but there's the Challenger
explosion of 1986...
799
01:14:38,140 --> 01:14:40,434
America's favorite
shuttle disaster,
800
01:14:40,601 --> 01:14:43,354
and also...
801
01:14:43,520 --> 01:14:45,397
lasers!
802
01:14:48,150 --> 01:14:51,779
When the rubble cleared
after the nuclear meltdown
803
01:14:51,945 --> 01:14:53,906
from the original
"Class of Nuke 'Em High,"
804
01:14:54,073 --> 01:14:56,241
this laser was all
that was left.
805
01:14:56,408 --> 01:14:59,244
And, might I add,
this laser is
806
01:14:59,411 --> 01:15:01,246
highly unstable.
807
01:15:01,413 --> 01:15:03,499
But I'm sure
it no longer works.
808
01:15:08,921 --> 01:15:11,924
Mother of fuck.
809
01:15:12,091 --> 01:15:13,342
Let's go.
810
01:15:13,509 --> 01:15:15,886
We'll never beat Amorville
with that attitude.
811
01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:23,394
Come on,
work those thumbs.
812
01:15:23,560 --> 01:15:25,854
What, are you
a bunch of girls?
813
01:15:35,030 --> 01:15:36,573
Do you have a...?
814
01:15:36,740 --> 01:15:39,034
Sorry.
815
01:15:39,201 --> 01:15:41,704
Okay, hit the showers.
816
01:15:45,999 --> 01:15:49,753
Lasers can also
817
01:15:49,920 --> 01:15:54,216
apparently blind.
818
01:15:54,383 --> 01:15:57,678
Mr. Chips. Mr. Chips.
819
01:15:59,805 --> 01:16:01,682
Can I have
a pee-pee pass, please?
820
01:16:01,849 --> 01:16:05,561
Fine. Fine, Zac, just go.
821
01:16:10,482 --> 01:16:13,235
Why don't these fucks in the ether
believe my blog?
822
01:16:13,402 --> 01:16:15,154
What you got there, fucker?
823
01:16:21,493 --> 01:16:22,828
Hey, cunt, give it back.
824
01:16:22,995 --> 01:16:26,915
Is that granny's douche bag
or is that just you?
825
01:16:27,082 --> 01:16:29,042
Nice dicks, faggot.
826
01:16:30,669 --> 01:16:33,046
Yeah. Uh, Mr. Chips,
827
01:16:33,213 --> 01:16:36,592
Mr. Chips, our Chrissy here
is blogging in class.
828
01:16:38,677 --> 01:16:40,304
Okay, you want your
phone back?
829
01:16:40,471 --> 01:16:42,514
You want your phone back,
you little dyke-tron?
830
01:16:42,681 --> 01:16:45,642
Go fucking get it.
831
01:16:51,106 --> 01:16:53,400
You filthy little cunt.
832
01:16:58,363 --> 01:17:01,200
Fight, fight, fight, fight!
833
01:17:01,366 --> 01:17:03,285
You just fucked
834
01:17:03,452 --> 01:17:06,371
with the wrong
post-apocalyptic hell bitch.
835
01:17:18,133 --> 01:17:19,468
Give me a break.
836
01:17:28,769 --> 01:17:30,646
Why?
837
01:17:35,776 --> 01:17:38,821
Why?
838
01:17:40,823 --> 01:17:43,075
Fucking middleman!
839
01:17:44,868 --> 01:17:48,789
Both of you,
to the principal's office now.
840
01:17:48,956 --> 01:17:50,123
She started it.
841
01:17:50,290 --> 01:17:53,919
In that case, Chrissy Goldberg
to the principal's office.
842
01:17:54,086 --> 01:17:55,921
You've got to be kidding me.
843
01:17:56,088 --> 01:17:58,674
Now!
844
01:17:58,841 --> 01:18:00,717
- Fucker.
- Fuck you.
845
01:18:00,884 --> 01:18:02,970
Fuck you.
846
01:18:03,136 --> 01:18:06,056
Would one of you
kind students
847
01:18:06,223 --> 01:18:09,434
please lead me
to the eyewash station?
848
01:18:09,601 --> 01:18:11,228
Oh.
55292
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