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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:22,971 --> 00:00:27,876 ♪ Baby, baby, I'm taken with the notion ♪ 2 00:00:28,243 --> 00:00:30,045 ♪ To love you with the sweetest ♪ 3 00:00:30,079 --> 00:00:32,013 Doritos versus Fritos, 4 00:00:32,047 --> 00:00:33,816 calories, question mark. 5 00:00:34,149 --> 00:00:36,352 Um, you could just read the bag. 6 00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:38,687 Do you want protein and fiber information? 7 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:40,355 Mary. 8 00:00:40,389 --> 00:00:42,525 I didn't understand that. Did you say Mary? 9 00:00:42,557 --> 00:00:44,060 Uh. 10 00:00:44,093 --> 00:00:44,794 Hey, 11 00:00:46,494 --> 00:00:47,996 you, hey, you. 12 00:00:48,030 --> 00:00:49,032 What's up? 13 00:00:49,997 --> 00:00:50,932 You don't remember me? 14 00:00:52,768 --> 00:00:54,704 Uh, I'm so sorry. I don't. 15 00:00:54,737 --> 00:00:55,871 I need a hint. 16 00:00:56,171 --> 00:00:57,573 College? 17 00:00:57,606 --> 00:00:58,941 Oh, um. 18 00:01:00,609 --> 00:01:01,977 Michael? 19 00:01:02,009 --> 00:01:02,811 No. 20 00:01:02,844 --> 00:01:03,813 Keaton? 21 00:01:03,845 --> 00:01:05,113 - No. - No? 22 00:01:05,147 --> 00:01:06,415 - No. - Fuck. 23 00:01:06,447 --> 00:01:07,615 I feel so bad. I'm sorry. 24 00:01:07,649 --> 00:01:08,817 It's okay, don't. 25 00:01:08,849 --> 00:01:11,086 We talked that one time at that Undie-Run for charity thing, 26 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,987 and you showed up fully clothed, 27 00:01:13,021 --> 00:01:14,823 and I was only in my boxers, and you were like, 28 00:01:14,856 --> 00:01:17,492 "This whole event reeks of toxic masculinity." 29 00:01:17,525 --> 00:01:19,762 And then you pointed out how all the guys' nipples 30 00:01:19,795 --> 00:01:21,664 were getting hard because it was cold out, 31 00:01:21,697 --> 00:01:23,832 and you never thought about male nipples getting hard 32 00:01:23,865 --> 00:01:25,367 or pointy or whatever. 33 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:26,868 And I was all like, "Don't look at my nipples," 34 00:01:26,902 --> 00:01:28,037 or somethin'. 35 00:01:29,103 --> 00:01:30,472 Um. 36 00:01:31,239 --> 00:01:33,042 And then we bridged that to how "Lord of the Flies" 37 00:01:33,075 --> 00:01:34,710 is really overrated, how it shouldn't 38 00:01:34,742 --> 00:01:35,744 - be mandatory reading- - Oh, um. 39 00:01:35,778 --> 00:01:36,879 for little kids. 40 00:01:36,912 --> 00:01:38,047 Uh, Mark. 41 00:01:38,079 --> 00:01:38,947 Yes. 42 00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:40,448 Mark Kenneth Samson. 43 00:01:40,481 --> 00:01:41,450 There ya go. 44 00:01:41,483 --> 00:01:42,484 The three-first-names guy. 45 00:01:42,518 --> 00:01:43,118 How are ya? 46 00:01:43,152 --> 00:01:45,487 Okay. 47 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:47,890 You look different. 48 00:01:47,923 --> 00:01:49,924 Yeah, I lost some weight or toned up or whatever. 49 00:01:49,957 --> 00:01:51,025 I started going to the gym. 50 00:01:51,058 --> 00:01:51,793 You weren't fat. 51 00:01:52,995 --> 00:01:54,630 No, I know. I know. 52 00:01:55,831 --> 00:01:56,832 I know. 53 00:01:59,935 --> 00:02:01,003 Well... 54 00:02:08,943 --> 00:02:09,845 Hey again. 55 00:02:11,747 --> 00:02:12,848 Do I know you? 56 00:02:12,881 --> 00:02:13,983 Ha-ha. 57 00:02:17,019 --> 00:02:19,622 Uh, this isn't for me. 58 00:02:19,655 --> 00:02:20,756 Cool. 59 00:02:20,788 --> 00:02:21,990 I wasn't even... 60 00:02:22,024 --> 00:02:24,794 It doesn't matter who it's for. 61 00:02:24,826 --> 00:02:25,661 Hi. 62 00:02:28,997 --> 00:02:30,032 Um. 63 00:02:33,468 --> 00:02:34,971 Hey, do you wanna get a smoothie? 64 00:02:35,837 --> 00:02:38,941 There's this really good smoothie place near here. 65 00:02:43,479 --> 00:02:44,914 It's funny, my dad and I, 66 00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:47,483 we actually are in the process of making those things. 67 00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:48,683 Making what? 68 00:02:49,651 --> 00:02:51,020 Pregnancy tests. 69 00:02:51,052 --> 00:02:52,987 People already make them. Why would you make them? 70 00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:55,156 Well, ours use your spit instead of your urine. 71 00:02:55,189 --> 00:02:56,825 And they can tell you if you're ovulating. 72 00:02:56,859 --> 00:02:58,194 It's less invasive. 73 00:02:58,227 --> 00:02:59,962 Yeah, but there's no way that's accurate, right? 74 00:02:59,995 --> 00:03:02,698 Like, you just spit into a little cup or something, 75 00:03:02,730 --> 00:03:04,532 tells you if you've created life? 76 00:03:04,566 --> 00:03:06,769 Is that any weirder than peeing on a stick? 77 00:03:07,401 --> 00:03:08,603 Why aren't they all like that then? 78 00:03:08,637 --> 00:03:11,240 Good opportunities come from things that don't exist yet, 79 00:03:11,272 --> 00:03:13,442 you know, things people don't realize they want. 80 00:03:15,544 --> 00:03:16,579 It is for me. 81 00:03:17,913 --> 00:03:18,914 Oh. 82 00:03:18,947 --> 00:03:19,882 Yeah. 83 00:03:21,582 --> 00:03:22,818 Well, that answers that, I guess. 84 00:03:22,850 --> 00:03:23,819 Answers what? 85 00:03:25,187 --> 00:03:27,088 I was wanna ask if you're taken. 86 00:03:27,122 --> 00:03:29,191 I'm single, technically. 87 00:03:29,223 --> 00:03:31,893 What do you want it to be, one line or two lines? 88 00:03:31,926 --> 00:03:33,561 They need to make the results more clearer, 89 00:03:33,594 --> 00:03:35,631 like baby or no baby. 90 00:03:35,663 --> 00:03:37,265 I know, it's like, 91 00:03:37,299 --> 00:03:38,334 this is one of the most important moments in someone's life, 92 00:03:38,366 --> 00:03:40,635 and these companies decide to make it confusing. 93 00:03:40,669 --> 00:03:41,871 You know what's really crazy, though, 94 00:03:41,903 --> 00:03:43,739 is that I could be pregnant right now, 95 00:03:43,771 --> 00:03:44,906 and nobody would be surprised. 96 00:03:44,939 --> 00:03:45,841 What do you mean? 97 00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:47,610 Do you think people think you're a slut or- 98 00:03:47,643 --> 00:03:48,676 - No. 99 00:03:48,710 --> 00:03:50,045 - What? - What? 100 00:03:50,078 --> 00:03:51,680 No. 101 00:03:51,712 --> 00:03:53,081 - No? - No. 102 00:03:54,282 --> 00:03:56,684 I'm at the right age to have a kid. 103 00:03:56,717 --> 00:03:59,621 And if I was in Arkansas, I'd be considered late. 104 00:03:59,655 --> 00:04:01,956 It feels like two seconds ago that if I got pregnant, 105 00:04:01,990 --> 00:04:03,158 it would be anarchy. 106 00:04:03,191 --> 00:04:04,659 And then super fuckin' soon after that, 107 00:04:04,693 --> 00:04:06,128 your kid could come out on that spectrum, 108 00:04:06,161 --> 00:04:07,930 so that's something you have to weigh. 109 00:04:07,962 --> 00:04:09,965 Then you're just counting down the days you have left, 110 00:04:09,997 --> 00:04:13,668 because you're no longer viable to, like, the earth. 111 00:04:13,701 --> 00:04:15,069 I guess. You're really young. 112 00:04:15,103 --> 00:04:17,939 Your femininity doesn't die at menopause. 113 00:04:17,973 --> 00:04:19,307 It dies the moment you're no longer able 114 00:04:19,341 --> 00:04:20,576 to safely reproduce. 115 00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,978 And it sucks so much dick. 116 00:04:24,245 --> 00:04:26,080 That pesky biological clock. 117 00:04:26,113 --> 00:04:28,683 You don't even have to think about any of this shit, ever. 118 00:04:28,716 --> 00:04:31,052 Hey, don't blame me, okay. I'm one of the good ones. 119 00:04:31,086 --> 00:04:32,888 You know, I went to the Women's March. 120 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:34,689 I went to two Women's Marches, actually. 121 00:04:34,723 --> 00:04:35,625 I went to two of 'em. 122 00:04:41,129 --> 00:04:44,600 Sorry, I was just thinking that Biological Cock 123 00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,134 would be a good band name, and I didn't wanna forget it. 124 00:04:46,168 --> 00:04:47,603 Are you in a band? 125 00:04:47,636 --> 00:04:48,903 Yeah, we're called Butter Cunt right now, 126 00:04:48,937 --> 00:04:50,706 but we're always looking for something better. 127 00:04:50,738 --> 00:04:51,639 Can you make money from that? 128 00:04:51,673 --> 00:04:52,942 Oh, no. 129 00:04:52,975 --> 00:04:55,177 Look, I, I don't really make money either. 130 00:04:55,209 --> 00:04:56,711 First five years of a company, 131 00:04:56,745 --> 00:04:58,247 you can't break even, et cetera, et cetera. 132 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:01,849 How'd you and your parents get into this saliva biz? 133 00:05:01,882 --> 00:05:04,218 My parents are divorced, so it's me and my dad's thing. 134 00:05:04,252 --> 00:05:06,922 But yeah, it's plastics manufacturing. 135 00:05:06,954 --> 00:05:09,057 - What's your mom do? - What's your mom do? 136 00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:10,593 You're gonna ask me what my mom does 137 00:05:10,625 --> 00:05:11,960 before you ask me what I do? 138 00:05:11,994 --> 00:05:14,029 Can I just say, I feel like you got a lot of rules. 139 00:05:14,062 --> 00:05:15,264 Mm, not really. 140 00:05:15,297 --> 00:05:16,799 Let someone come inside me, 141 00:05:16,831 --> 00:05:18,134 which is the reason we're here now. 142 00:05:20,067 --> 00:05:22,103 Okay. What do you do? 143 00:05:22,137 --> 00:05:25,341 Like voiceover stuff for, like, random businesses 144 00:05:25,374 --> 00:05:27,910 and commercials and whatever. 145 00:05:27,942 --> 00:05:29,277 Like what? Can I hear some? 146 00:05:29,310 --> 00:05:31,879 Mark Kenneth Samson, would you like to purchase 147 00:05:31,913 --> 00:05:34,617 a subscription to "Mind, Body, and Soul"? 148 00:05:34,649 --> 00:05:35,383 Uh-huh. 149 00:05:37,718 --> 00:05:38,920 I also clean houses. 150 00:05:38,954 --> 00:05:40,055 I also walk dogs. 151 00:05:47,362 --> 00:05:50,299 Is it not cool for me to ask for your number right now? 152 00:05:50,331 --> 00:05:51,634 'Cause I want to. 153 00:05:51,666 --> 00:05:52,767 I should probably find out 154 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,202 if I'm knocked out first, right? 155 00:05:54,235 --> 00:05:55,303 Mm, that makes a ton of sense. 156 00:05:55,336 --> 00:05:56,671 Should I do it now? 157 00:06:11,019 --> 00:06:11,887 So? 158 00:06:13,055 --> 00:06:14,389 I didn't do it yet. 159 00:06:14,990 --> 00:06:16,792 Can you come in here with me for moral support? 160 00:06:16,824 --> 00:06:18,060 While you pee? 161 00:06:18,093 --> 00:06:19,228 Yeah. 162 00:06:19,261 --> 00:06:20,362 That's a little- 163 00:06:20,394 --> 00:06:21,363 - Don't make it weird. 164 00:06:23,398 --> 00:06:24,366 It's a little weird. 165 00:06:27,802 --> 00:06:31,339 Oh. 166 00:06:31,372 --> 00:06:33,074 Oh man, you like to stay hydrated, huh? 167 00:06:34,442 --> 00:06:35,209 I said, don't make it weird. 168 00:06:35,242 --> 00:06:36,077 Sorry, sorry. 169 00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:49,792 Now what? 170 00:06:50,925 --> 00:06:51,926 We wait. 171 00:06:54,129 --> 00:06:55,330 For how long? 172 00:06:55,362 --> 00:06:56,964 Three minutes. Why don't you know that? 173 00:06:56,997 --> 00:06:58,099 I feel like you should know that. 174 00:06:58,132 --> 00:06:59,100 I do know that. I know. 175 00:07:10,377 --> 00:07:13,415 Do you wanna sing me a song? 176 00:07:14,516 --> 00:07:15,951 What song? 177 00:07:15,983 --> 00:07:17,351 Make one up. You're an inventor. 178 00:07:17,384 --> 00:07:19,087 You're the singer. 179 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:20,255 I'm in distress. 180 00:07:24,526 --> 00:07:25,728 Come on. 181 00:07:25,761 --> 00:07:27,196 Okay, okay, okay. 182 00:07:29,297 --> 00:07:30,265 ♪ Baby ♪ 183 00:07:30,298 --> 00:07:31,065 Don't start it with baby. 184 00:07:31,098 --> 00:07:33,000 Shit. 185 00:07:33,033 --> 00:07:35,803 ♪ You're the girl in the bathroom ♪ 186 00:07:35,836 --> 00:07:37,206 ♪ But also the girl from college ♪ 187 00:07:37,238 --> 00:07:38,339 No, no, distract. 188 00:07:38,372 --> 00:07:39,942 Poetic, please. 189 00:07:39,975 --> 00:07:43,946 ♪ And the opposite of a baby is an old person ♪ 190 00:07:43,978 --> 00:07:45,079 ♪ Yeah, the elderly ♪ 191 00:07:45,112 --> 00:07:46,814 Maybe try singing louder, 192 00:07:46,848 --> 00:07:49,318 like really, really loud. ♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪ 193 00:07:49,350 --> 00:07:51,853 Do it louder. ♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪ 194 00:07:51,887 --> 00:07:55,324 Really fuckin' loud. ♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪ 195 00:07:55,357 --> 00:07:56,492 Keep going! 196 00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:00,362 ♪ Ooh yeah ♪ Yes! 197 00:08:00,394 --> 00:08:01,764 ♪ You better wash your hands ♪ 198 00:08:01,797 --> 00:08:02,998 ♪ When you're done in the bathroom ♪ 199 00:08:03,031 --> 00:08:04,132 ♪ Better wash your hands when you're ♪ 200 00:08:04,165 --> 00:08:04,800 ♪ Done in they bathroom ♪ We're gonna get kicked out. 201 00:08:04,833 --> 00:08:06,401 ♪ No, those are the rules ♪ 202 00:08:06,434 --> 00:08:07,369 Worth it! 203 00:08:10,805 --> 00:08:12,206 This is helpful? 204 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:13,341 - This is helping? - Yes, continue. 205 00:08:13,375 --> 00:08:16,144 Louder! 206 00:08:16,177 --> 00:08:17,312 Hit the high note! 207 00:08:29,456 --> 00:08:30,425 Okay. 208 00:08:32,927 --> 00:08:34,496 You can have my number. 209 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,363 ♪ I can feel your shadow ♪ 210 00:09:08,395 --> 00:09:09,897 ♪ I just wanna be ♪ 211 00:09:09,931 --> 00:09:11,400 Oh, you can't, 212 00:09:11,432 --> 00:09:12,433 you can't take photos. 213 00:09:12,466 --> 00:09:13,269 Oh, yeah. 214 00:09:16,437 --> 00:09:18,173 Uh? 215 00:09:18,206 --> 00:09:19,575 Different kind of service. 216 00:09:19,607 --> 00:09:21,209 Can we go back to the other thing? 217 00:09:21,243 --> 00:09:22,411 Dusting. 218 00:09:24,011 --> 00:09:27,281 ♪ I can't fight the world's battles ♪ 219 00:09:27,315 --> 00:09:30,252 ♪ I just wanna be next to you ♪ 220 00:09:30,284 --> 00:09:33,389 ♪ Wanna be next to you ♪ 221 00:09:35,056 --> 00:09:36,225 What's this one? 222 00:09:36,258 --> 00:09:37,426 Shark fin. 223 00:09:37,458 --> 00:09:39,093 Why a shark fin? 224 00:09:39,126 --> 00:09:41,229 You know, like, keep moving. 225 00:09:42,898 --> 00:09:43,999 What about 226 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,269 this one? 227 00:09:47,302 --> 00:09:51,139 Just a drunken squiggle from my high school boyfriend. 228 00:09:51,172 --> 00:09:52,074 Hmm. 229 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:54,643 What about this one? 230 00:09:54,676 --> 00:09:57,512 Squiggle from my high school girlfriend. 231 00:09:57,544 --> 00:09:59,280 Your high school experience 232 00:09:59,313 --> 00:10:00,514 was a lot more active than mine. 233 00:10:00,548 --> 00:10:04,320 My favorite one's the mouse trap. 234 00:10:06,321 --> 00:10:08,423 I like this David Bowie one. 235 00:10:08,456 --> 00:10:10,459 That's my mom, actually. 236 00:10:10,491 --> 00:10:12,360 She passed away. 237 00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:14,028 A lot of people think that though. 238 00:10:14,062 --> 00:10:16,130 She had a really androgynous face. 239 00:10:21,336 --> 00:10:23,371 Do you have any? 240 00:10:23,404 --> 00:10:25,606 Never felt like I knew the right thing to get. 241 00:10:25,639 --> 00:10:27,074 Or, like, if I like something, 242 00:10:27,107 --> 00:10:28,409 I could just frame a picture of it. 243 00:10:28,442 --> 00:10:30,077 Yeah. 244 00:10:39,586 --> 00:10:43,258 ♪ This life is such a mystery ♪ 245 00:10:43,291 --> 00:10:46,128 ♪ But I don't feel so fucked up ♪ 246 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:49,564 ♪ As long as I'm next to you ♪ 247 00:10:56,236 --> 00:10:58,072 Let's do this. 248 00:10:58,105 --> 00:11:00,942 Do you, Mark Kenneth Samson, 249 00:11:00,975 --> 00:11:03,644 take Mary Lewis to be your wife 250 00:11:03,677 --> 00:11:06,314 to love and to cherish for as long as you both shall live? 251 00:11:07,615 --> 00:11:09,183 I do. 252 00:11:10,150 --> 00:11:11,620 And do you, Mary Lewis, 253 00:11:11,653 --> 00:11:15,490 take Mark Kenneth Samson to be your husband 254 00:11:15,523 --> 00:11:18,360 to love and to cherish for as long as you both shall live? 255 00:11:18,393 --> 00:11:19,661 Hell yeah, I do. 256 00:11:22,629 --> 00:11:24,232 You may now kiss the bride. 257 00:11:26,533 --> 00:11:28,971 Wait. Why isn't it, you may now kiss the groom? 258 00:11:29,004 --> 00:11:30,238 Seriously? 259 00:11:30,270 --> 00:11:31,272 Why does the guy get to initiate the kiss 260 00:11:31,306 --> 00:11:33,108 for all of eternity? 261 00:11:33,140 --> 00:11:35,343 That's some archaic, repressed bullshit. 262 00:11:35,376 --> 00:11:37,011 Please just let me kiss you, Mary. 263 00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:38,245 Look, I have a script 264 00:11:38,278 --> 00:11:39,447 that I'm not supposed to deviate from. 265 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:40,548 Well, deviate. 266 00:11:43,518 --> 00:11:45,120 Okay. 267 00:11:45,153 --> 00:11:47,055 Uh, you may now kiss the groom, I guess. 268 00:11:47,087 --> 00:11:47,722 Sick. 269 00:11:51,793 --> 00:11:56,697 ♪ Oh baby ♪ 270 00:11:56,730 --> 00:12:01,703 ♪ Oh man ♪ 271 00:12:02,203 --> 00:12:07,208 ♪ You're makin' me crazy ♪ 272 00:12:07,241 --> 00:12:12,480 ♪ Really drivin' me mad ♪ 273 00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:17,619 ♪ But that's all right with me ♪ 274 00:12:17,652 --> 00:12:21,423 ♪ It's really no fuss ♪ 275 00:12:21,456 --> 00:12:23,091 Ooh. 276 00:12:23,124 --> 00:12:26,695 ♪ As long as you're next to me ♪ 277 00:12:28,328 --> 00:12:29,497 ♪ Just the two of us ♪ 278 00:12:29,530 --> 00:12:30,564 Take one. 279 00:12:33,301 --> 00:12:34,469 No! 280 00:12:35,336 --> 00:12:39,474 ♪ You're my, my, my ♪ 281 00:12:39,506 --> 00:12:42,476 ♪ My kind of woman ♪ 282 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:50,484 ♪ My, my, my ♪ 283 00:12:50,518 --> 00:12:55,324 ♪ My kind of woman ♪ 284 00:12:56,791 --> 00:12:59,561 ♪ And I'm down on my hands and knees ♪ 285 00:12:59,594 --> 00:13:01,797 ♪ Beggin' you please, baby ♪ 286 00:13:01,830 --> 00:13:04,767 ♪ Show me your world ♪ 287 00:13:11,538 --> 00:13:13,375 ♪ Oh baby ♪ 288 00:13:16,610 --> 00:13:18,547 - No, come here. - No! 289 00:13:19,179 --> 00:13:21,615 Yeah, Jesus, what have you been thinkin' about? 290 00:13:21,649 --> 00:13:24,719 ♪ I'm feelin' so tired ♪ 291 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:29,625 ♪ Really fallin' apart ♪ 292 00:13:34,828 --> 00:13:37,198 This is Mary Lewis, take one. 293 00:13:37,231 --> 00:13:40,367 Suffering from a dry or itchy vagina? 294 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:44,105 It may be a syndrome called menopause vaginal dryness. 295 00:13:44,139 --> 00:13:46,307 A lubricant may be for you. 296 00:13:46,341 --> 00:13:50,611 Try our All Natural Wild Yam Vaginal Moisturizing Gel today. 297 00:13:50,644 --> 00:13:54,283 Currently available in 1.5 to 3 ounces. 298 00:13:58,352 --> 00:14:00,088 It's crazy how fast it all feels. 299 00:14:01,788 --> 00:14:04,492 I had no idea I was gonna love her this much. 300 00:14:04,525 --> 00:14:05,526 She's amazing. 301 00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:06,627 So sick, man. 302 00:14:06,660 --> 00:14:08,129 That's cool. 303 00:14:08,163 --> 00:14:10,731 Yeah, I feel expanded. 304 00:14:10,764 --> 00:14:12,766 She makes me feel like a human rubber band 305 00:14:12,799 --> 00:14:13,835 that's just like,. 306 00:14:15,436 --> 00:14:16,471 Yeah, I don't think I could ever get married. 307 00:14:16,504 --> 00:14:18,273 Fuck. 308 00:14:18,306 --> 00:14:20,609 Am I the only one workin' out? I'm done. 309 00:14:20,642 --> 00:14:21,843 I just don't see the point in it. 310 00:14:21,875 --> 00:14:23,644 I mean, it seems purely financial, 311 00:14:23,677 --> 00:14:25,813 and financially, it usually fucks you. 312 00:14:25,846 --> 00:14:28,350 Probably fucks you more than your wife does. 313 00:14:28,383 --> 00:14:29,783 That's funny, man. 314 00:14:29,817 --> 00:14:30,751 You guys probably just feel like that 315 00:14:30,784 --> 00:14:32,487 because you haven't met someone like Mary. 316 00:14:34,254 --> 00:14:35,624 You haven't found your Mary. 317 00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:36,825 You sound kind of faggy, Mark. 318 00:14:36,857 --> 00:14:37,725 - Whoa! - Dude. 319 00:14:37,759 --> 00:14:38,927 - No. - Not cool. 320 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,163 - What? - You can't say that. 321 00:14:41,196 --> 00:14:42,564 Yes, I can, I'm bi. I can say whatever I want. 322 00:14:42,596 --> 00:14:44,198 We are in a public place. 323 00:14:44,231 --> 00:14:47,368 Don't care if you're bi, you can't just say. 324 00:14:47,402 --> 00:14:48,336 What was that? 325 00:14:48,369 --> 00:14:49,638 You can't say. 326 00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:51,573 We have reclaimed the word faggot. 327 00:14:51,605 --> 00:14:53,674 Fuckin' stop it. 328 00:14:53,707 --> 00:14:55,610 I'm not calling you a faggot, faggot. 329 00:14:55,643 --> 00:14:57,512 Stop. Stop saying it. 330 00:14:57,544 --> 00:14:58,812 Stop saying it. Stop calling me it. 331 00:14:58,846 --> 00:14:59,748 Did I just call him a faggot? 332 00:14:59,780 --> 00:15:01,582 Just L-G-Be a better person. 333 00:15:03,217 --> 00:15:04,218 You're such a faggot. 334 00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,556 How's Mary's sister doin' these days? 335 00:15:07,589 --> 00:15:08,857 Is she tryin' to fuck? 336 00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:12,561 We are Unnecessary Colonoscopy! 337 00:15:12,594 --> 00:15:14,629 One, two, three, four! 338 00:15:14,662 --> 00:15:18,500 ♪ Ooh ♪ 339 00:15:18,533 --> 00:15:22,370 ♪ Ooh ♪ 340 00:15:22,403 --> 00:15:26,274 ♪ Ooh ♪ 341 00:15:26,307 --> 00:15:29,978 ♪ Ooh ♪ 342 00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:33,814 ♪ Miss Narcissist, she's a thief ♪ 343 00:15:33,847 --> 00:15:37,718 ♪ Sucks out all the energy ♪ 344 00:15:37,751 --> 00:15:40,921 ♪ So long, my hostility ♪ 345 00:15:40,955 --> 00:15:43,291 ♪ Like a parasite ♪ 346 00:15:43,323 --> 00:15:45,359 ♪ And all she all she needs ♪ 347 00:15:45,393 --> 00:15:49,564 ♪ Is to live in me ♪ 348 00:15:54,335 --> 00:15:55,870 What the fuck do you want, Christopher? 349 00:15:55,903 --> 00:15:57,538 If you wanna be in a real band, 350 00:15:57,572 --> 00:15:58,740 invest in some soundproofing? 351 00:15:58,773 --> 00:16:00,475 Do I look like I could afford soundproofing? 352 00:16:00,508 --> 00:16:01,408 Is that my problem? 353 00:16:01,442 --> 00:16:02,744 Yeah, sort of, it is. 354 00:16:02,777 --> 00:16:03,979 Spend a hundred dollars at Home Depot. 355 00:16:04,011 --> 00:16:05,546 I can't go to Home Depot, 356 00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:07,382 because I don't support the co-founder's politics. 357 00:16:07,414 --> 00:16:08,750 Do you wanna go for me? 358 00:16:08,783 --> 00:16:10,451 My god, my dogs don't like the noise. 359 00:16:10,485 --> 00:16:11,753 Well, I don't like your dogs, 360 00:16:11,785 --> 00:16:12,519 - Christopher. - You wrote enough songs 361 00:16:12,552 --> 00:16:13,754 about 'em. 362 00:16:13,788 --> 00:16:16,557 "Kill Them Bitches," "Shut Up, Mutts." 363 00:16:16,591 --> 00:16:18,726 They're dumb, and they're blind, and they're also deaf. 364 00:16:18,759 --> 00:16:20,495 It's really loud in there, Lana. 365 00:16:21,162 --> 00:16:23,264 And I'm trying to binge some Nat Geo. 366 00:16:23,298 --> 00:16:25,432 Jesus, you're so fucking dramatic. 367 00:16:25,466 --> 00:16:26,835 I'm gonna call Rebecca. 368 00:16:26,868 --> 00:16:28,570 Go for it. Call Rebecca. 369 00:16:28,602 --> 00:16:29,670 We're very close. 370 00:16:29,703 --> 00:16:31,405 - Bullshit. - Yep. 371 00:16:31,438 --> 00:16:32,807 She'll love to hear from you. She likes you so much. 372 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,609 - I know she does. - She loves you. 373 00:16:34,642 --> 00:16:35,677 Why are you winking at me? That's weird. 374 00:16:35,710 --> 00:16:36,845 - I'm not winking. - Yeah, you are. 375 00:16:36,878 --> 00:16:37,479 What are you talking about? 376 00:16:37,511 --> 00:16:38,712 I'm gonna call the cops. 377 00:16:38,745 --> 00:16:39,780 KK, fuck you. 378 00:16:39,813 --> 00:16:40,748 No, fuck you. 379 00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:41,650 - No, fuck you. - No, fuck you. 380 00:16:41,682 --> 00:16:42,850 - Ha. - Fuck you, ha. 381 00:16:42,884 --> 00:16:44,619 Wow, nice. Look at that big boy mouth. 382 00:16:44,652 --> 00:16:45,787 - Fuck you. - Fuck you. 383 00:16:45,820 --> 00:16:46,621 - Fuck you. - Fuck you, say it again. 384 00:16:46,653 --> 00:16:47,588 Fuck you. 385 00:16:47,621 --> 00:16:48,455 - Fuck you! - Fuck you. 386 00:16:48,489 --> 00:16:49,658 - Fuck you. - Fuck ya. 387 00:16:49,691 --> 00:16:51,660 - Fuck you, fucker. - Fuck you, fuck you. 388 00:16:51,692 --> 00:16:54,696 Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. 389 00:16:54,729 --> 00:16:55,730 - And fuck you. - Yeah. 390 00:16:55,763 --> 00:16:56,798 Fuck you! 391 00:16:56,831 --> 00:16:57,999 - Fuck you. - Fuck you. 392 00:16:58,032 --> 00:16:58,700 - Fuck you. - Yeah, okay. 393 00:16:58,732 --> 00:16:59,733 Ha-ha, fuck you. 394 00:17:01,969 --> 00:17:04,673 Fuck you, dude! Oh my god. 395 00:17:04,705 --> 00:17:06,073 Write a song about it. 396 00:17:06,106 --> 00:17:07,509 - I will. - Write a loud song about it with like 397 00:17:07,541 --> 00:17:09,009 - three dissonant chords. - Fuck you, dude. 398 00:17:09,042 --> 00:17:13,647 ♪ Fuck you, you stupid little cunt ♪ 399 00:17:13,681 --> 00:17:16,018 ♪ I don't like you ♪ 400 00:17:16,284 --> 00:17:17,986 What are you guys doing tonight? 401 00:17:18,019 --> 00:17:18,787 Um. 402 00:17:20,121 --> 00:17:22,791 I was gonna go see your Rebecca for a bit. 403 00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:24,592 You're still fucking your landlord? 404 00:17:24,625 --> 00:17:25,626 Landlady. 405 00:17:26,794 --> 00:17:28,397 I'm seeing this guy. 406 00:17:28,763 --> 00:17:31,065 He's sexy in like a Skarsgard kind of way. 407 00:17:31,098 --> 00:17:32,701 - Hmm-mm. - Mm-hmm. 408 00:17:32,733 --> 00:17:34,001 I mean, I haven't met him yet, 409 00:17:34,035 --> 00:17:36,838 but we just matched on Crush'd, so. 410 00:17:36,871 --> 00:17:38,340 Crush'd? 411 00:17:38,373 --> 00:17:39,841 Yeah, oh, it's the sickest new dating app. 412 00:17:39,874 --> 00:17:41,675 Tons of famous people are on it, too. 413 00:17:41,709 --> 00:17:42,911 I've seen like maybe the entire cast 414 00:17:42,943 --> 00:17:43,744 of "Harry Potter" on it. 415 00:17:43,778 --> 00:17:45,113 Mm? 416 00:17:45,145 --> 00:17:46,380 I'm jealous. 417 00:17:47,615 --> 00:17:48,615 What? Why? 418 00:17:48,648 --> 00:17:51,352 I don't know. I'm not. 419 00:17:51,385 --> 00:17:54,422 I'm not jealous, actually. I don't know why I said that. 420 00:17:54,454 --> 00:17:55,689 I know why you said that. 421 00:17:55,722 --> 00:17:57,591 It's because you're sad that you're 422 00:17:57,625 --> 00:17:58,926 - a crusty married person. - Yeah. 423 00:17:58,960 --> 00:17:59,827 - No. - That's definitely why 424 00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:00,995 - you said that. - No. 425 00:18:01,028 --> 00:18:02,564 - I'm sorry. - That's not it, I just... 426 00:18:04,464 --> 00:18:07,101 It makes me feel adult 427 00:18:07,134 --> 00:18:09,703 in a way that I don't want to be. 428 00:18:09,737 --> 00:18:10,906 Yeah, crusty. 429 00:18:11,472 --> 00:18:14,509 Dude, I totally get it. 430 00:18:14,541 --> 00:18:17,378 It's normal to wanna go out and have fun. 431 00:18:18,546 --> 00:18:20,582 We're fuckin' infants. 432 00:18:20,615 --> 00:18:21,782 We're kids. 433 00:18:23,151 --> 00:18:25,620 Mama always said youth is wasted on the young. 434 00:18:26,153 --> 00:18:27,521 That's not really relevant. 435 00:18:27,555 --> 00:18:28,523 It kind of is. 436 00:18:28,556 --> 00:18:29,723 Okay, well, it's not helpful. 437 00:18:29,757 --> 00:18:30,959 Does everything I say I have to be helpful? 438 00:18:30,991 --> 00:18:32,527 Ideally. 439 00:18:32,559 --> 00:18:33,729 Well, I'm sorry. That's unrealistic, sweetie. 440 00:18:39,967 --> 00:18:41,936 Can you ask Mark about AJ for me? 441 00:18:41,969 --> 00:18:43,571 Gross. 442 00:18:43,604 --> 00:18:44,939 He's hot. 443 00:18:44,971 --> 00:18:46,673 He thinks his skin's only purpose 444 00:18:46,707 --> 00:18:48,743 is to store his muscles. 445 00:18:48,776 --> 00:18:50,678 Yeah, exactly. 446 00:18:50,711 --> 00:18:51,846 What about the Crush'd guy? 447 00:18:51,878 --> 00:18:54,581 I can fuck more than one person if it's not the same day. 448 00:18:54,615 --> 00:18:55,482 Men do it all the time. 449 00:18:55,516 --> 00:18:56,785 So can woman. 450 00:18:56,817 --> 00:18:58,420 I'm agreeing with you. 451 00:18:58,452 --> 00:19:00,689 Okay, great, so we agree. 452 00:19:02,890 --> 00:19:03,958 You know, you could do it, too. 453 00:19:03,990 --> 00:19:04,858 I mean, just 'cause you're married 454 00:19:04,892 --> 00:19:06,561 doesn't mean you need to be monogamous 455 00:19:06,594 --> 00:19:07,863 for the rest of your life. 456 00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:12,901 For the rest of your pussy's life. 457 00:19:30,585 --> 00:19:31,486 Hi. 458 00:19:33,488 --> 00:19:34,089 Hello. 459 00:19:35,490 --> 00:19:36,124 Come here. 460 00:19:37,525 --> 00:19:38,460 I can do that. 461 00:19:48,536 --> 00:19:49,170 How was your day? 462 00:19:49,202 --> 00:19:50,571 It was good. 463 00:19:51,204 --> 00:19:54,241 Kyle and AJ invited us to their party this weekend, 464 00:19:54,275 --> 00:19:55,043 - but I- - Babe, that was 465 00:19:55,076 --> 00:19:56,110 fully rhetorical. 466 00:19:56,143 --> 00:19:57,446 Have sex with me. 467 00:20:16,897 --> 00:20:18,632 Hey, I have a question. 468 00:20:20,535 --> 00:20:21,503 Hello? 469 00:20:21,536 --> 00:20:23,037 Yeah. 470 00:20:23,069 --> 00:20:24,571 Nevermind, after. 471 00:20:24,605 --> 00:20:26,140 Okay, cool, 'cause I'm about to come. 472 00:20:26,173 --> 00:20:27,174 What? 473 00:20:27,208 --> 00:20:28,076 Already? 474 00:20:32,946 --> 00:20:35,750 Oh, shit. 475 00:20:40,688 --> 00:20:43,124 You remembered to take your pill, right? 476 00:20:43,156 --> 00:20:45,592 No, but I set my alarm for 8:40, 477 00:20:45,625 --> 00:20:46,860 'cause I wasn't near my bag earlier. 478 00:20:46,894 --> 00:20:47,828 Okay. 479 00:20:57,771 --> 00:20:58,706 Oh. 480 00:21:06,314 --> 00:21:08,316 Oh, I love you. 481 00:21:08,348 --> 00:21:10,317 I love you, too. 482 00:21:21,028 --> 00:21:22,764 The steam is helping. 483 00:21:22,797 --> 00:21:23,998 What was your question? 484 00:21:24,030 --> 00:21:25,899 I said, the steam is helping. 485 00:21:25,932 --> 00:21:26,901 No, what was the thing 486 00:21:26,933 --> 00:21:28,201 you were gonna ask me before? 487 00:21:28,234 --> 00:21:29,136 Oh. 488 00:21:29,170 --> 00:21:30,572 It's stupid. 489 00:21:30,605 --> 00:21:32,105 Ah, I bet it wasn't. 490 00:21:32,138 --> 00:21:33,807 Nothing in your brain is stupid. 491 00:21:35,209 --> 00:21:36,878 It was just something hypothetical 492 00:21:36,911 --> 00:21:38,580 that Tori had me thinking about. 493 00:21:38,613 --> 00:21:39,814 Well, what was it? 494 00:21:42,750 --> 00:21:43,984 I don't know. 495 00:21:44,018 --> 00:21:45,319 Come on, tell me. 496 00:21:47,221 --> 00:21:48,557 Okay. 497 00:21:49,423 --> 00:21:52,293 Have you ever thought about being with someone else? 498 00:21:53,661 --> 00:21:54,729 What do you mean? 499 00:21:55,195 --> 00:21:58,765 You know, like another girl. 500 00:21:58,798 --> 00:22:01,269 Like bringing a third? 501 00:22:01,301 --> 00:22:03,870 Not what I meant, but that could be fun. 502 00:22:03,903 --> 00:22:05,339 Do you think I'm cheating on you? 503 00:22:05,373 --> 00:22:07,808 No, no, I know you're not. 504 00:22:07,842 --> 00:22:09,044 Baby, I would never. 505 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,018 I, I think a better way to phrase it 506 00:22:17,050 --> 00:22:18,153 or, or put it would be, 507 00:22:21,021 --> 00:22:23,090 would you ever consider an open thing? 508 00:22:23,124 --> 00:22:24,726 I don't necessarily mean now, 509 00:22:24,759 --> 00:22:27,729 but at some point in the future, maybe? 510 00:22:31,265 --> 00:22:32,133 Fuck, Mary. 511 00:22:33,034 --> 00:22:34,802 Jesus. 512 00:22:34,835 --> 00:22:36,237 I knew you were too sensitive for this conversation. 513 00:22:36,269 --> 00:22:37,771 I'm sorry, am I overreacting to the fact 514 00:22:37,805 --> 00:22:40,408 that you wanna be inside other people? 515 00:22:40,441 --> 00:22:42,009 You know I don't have a penis, right? 516 00:22:42,042 --> 00:22:44,811 Whatever, I got it backwards. You know what I mean. 517 00:22:44,845 --> 00:22:45,779 Why do you want this? 518 00:22:45,813 --> 00:22:47,048 I don't know. 519 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:48,882 Life short. It's exciting. 520 00:22:48,915 --> 00:22:50,083 Monogamy is dumb when you think about it. 521 00:22:50,116 --> 00:22:52,220 No, it's not. 522 00:22:52,252 --> 00:22:54,121 The only reason that anyone is exclusive 523 00:22:54,154 --> 00:22:56,324 is because of societal pressure to conform. 524 00:22:56,356 --> 00:22:58,725 We aren't made this way. It's unnatural. 525 00:22:58,759 --> 00:23:00,995 That is so dumb. You have no idea how dumb that sounds. 526 00:23:01,028 --> 00:23:02,730 Queer culture has been doing it for centuries. 527 00:23:02,762 --> 00:23:05,032 My Aunty Carol does it. Super happy. 528 00:23:05,066 --> 00:23:06,433 What about animals? 529 00:23:06,467 --> 00:23:08,336 I mean, animals have been monogamous for centuries. 530 00:23:08,368 --> 00:23:10,337 We're all just animals. Wolves, wolves are monogamous. 531 00:23:10,371 --> 00:23:12,273 - Wolves are terrifying. - No. 532 00:23:12,306 --> 00:23:15,009 They're not. Your Aunty Carol's terrifying. 533 00:23:15,041 --> 00:23:17,077 Look, I'm just... 534 00:23:17,111 --> 00:23:18,746 I don't judge Aunty Carol, it's just, 535 00:23:18,778 --> 00:23:20,181 I don't wanna be Aunty Carol. 536 00:23:22,249 --> 00:23:24,818 You were gonna ask me about this while we were having sex? 537 00:23:24,852 --> 00:23:26,220 I thought it would be hot! 538 00:23:26,252 --> 00:23:27,821 Is nothing sacred to you? 539 00:23:27,855 --> 00:23:29,089 Okay, obviously I didn't know 540 00:23:29,123 --> 00:23:30,224 you were gonna be this pissed off. 541 00:23:30,258 --> 00:23:32,860 You were trying to manipulate me with your sexy socks. 542 00:23:32,893 --> 00:23:34,796 My socks have nothing to do with this. 543 00:23:34,828 --> 00:23:36,063 I think they do. 544 00:23:36,096 --> 00:23:37,264 They don't. 545 00:23:37,298 --> 00:23:38,465 - They do. - They don't. 546 00:23:38,499 --> 00:23:40,300 They have everything to do with this! 547 00:23:44,471 --> 00:23:46,708 I don't like being the little spoon. 548 00:23:46,740 --> 00:23:47,442 Then you spoon me. 549 00:23:47,474 --> 00:23:49,776 I don't wanna spoon you. 550 00:23:49,809 --> 00:23:51,278 I bet you do a little bit. 551 00:23:51,311 --> 00:23:52,112 I really don't. 552 00:24:02,856 --> 00:24:05,058 Being with one person your whole life is outdated. 553 00:24:05,092 --> 00:24:06,795 I don't give a shit if it's outdated. 554 00:24:07,795 --> 00:24:08,962 It's what we signed up for. 555 00:24:11,097 --> 00:24:12,165 And if you do give a shit, 556 00:24:12,199 --> 00:24:14,302 you probably should've told me before we got married. 557 00:24:14,335 --> 00:24:16,304 So I'm supposed to know everything I might want 558 00:24:16,336 --> 00:24:17,404 before I want it? 559 00:24:17,438 --> 00:24:18,206 Yeah. 560 00:24:19,973 --> 00:24:21,108 You're being immature. 561 00:24:21,142 --> 00:24:22,744 Yeah, well, you're being a whore, so, 562 00:24:23,376 --> 00:24:24,745 we're both things. 563 00:24:33,953 --> 00:24:35,222 I meant metaphorically. 564 00:24:35,256 --> 00:24:37,225 I'm metaphorically being a whore? 565 00:24:37,959 --> 00:24:39,994 Let's just, can we go to bed? 566 00:24:42,262 --> 00:24:45,031 You asked me to be honest with you, right? 567 00:24:45,065 --> 00:24:47,034 So how was I supposed to talk to you about this? 568 00:24:47,067 --> 00:24:48,935 What would have been the right way, in your mind, 569 00:24:48,969 --> 00:24:50,004 for me to bring this up? 570 00:24:51,806 --> 00:24:53,141 It's not about you bringing up. 571 00:24:55,843 --> 00:24:57,312 It's that you're thinking about it at all. 572 00:25:11,057 --> 00:25:12,425 Can we talk about this now? 573 00:25:12,459 --> 00:25:13,461 Nope. 574 00:25:14,228 --> 00:25:18,065 ♪ Bumblebee, bumblebee, bumblebee ♪ 575 00:25:18,097 --> 00:25:19,933 - ♪ Bumblebee ♪ - Mary, I'm trying to work. 576 00:25:19,967 --> 00:25:21,169 So am I. 577 00:25:22,236 --> 00:25:24,539 Red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather. 578 00:25:24,571 --> 00:25:26,006 I'm not talking about it. 579 00:25:26,039 --> 00:25:27,442 I didn't ask. 580 00:25:36,884 --> 00:25:38,286 How about now? 581 00:25:38,318 --> 00:25:39,921 No. 582 00:25:39,953 --> 00:25:40,587 But- 583 00:25:40,621 --> 00:25:41,322 - Still a no. 584 00:25:50,163 --> 00:25:51,065 I don't get what you are. 585 00:25:54,300 --> 00:25:55,302 I'm myself. 586 00:25:55,336 --> 00:25:57,806 Huh. I don't get it. 587 00:25:58,539 --> 00:26:00,106 What are you supposed to be? 588 00:26:00,140 --> 00:26:01,376 A guy with the better mustache. 589 00:26:07,013 --> 00:26:08,315 I did some googling, 590 00:26:08,348 --> 00:26:09,850 and it's usually called ethical non-monogamy, 591 00:26:09,884 --> 00:26:11,853 if you wanted to do some research before we talk. 592 00:26:11,885 --> 00:26:13,086 You're already googling? 593 00:26:23,663 --> 00:26:27,902 ♪ All the lights are flashin' in red ♪ 594 00:26:27,934 --> 00:26:31,538 ♪ Paradise is full ♪ 595 00:26:31,571 --> 00:26:34,307 ♪ Ah, but don't it look just how ♪ 596 00:26:34,340 --> 00:26:35,408 Thanks. 597 00:26:35,442 --> 00:26:39,512 ♪ You dreamed it would ♪ 598 00:26:39,546 --> 00:26:42,450 ♪ Hold me close, say you will ♪ 599 00:26:42,482 --> 00:26:44,417 I always safer when I have a female driver. 600 00:26:44,451 --> 00:26:47,654 Oh my god, thank you. 601 00:26:47,688 --> 00:26:49,357 Are we gonna be that problem couple at the party 602 00:26:49,390 --> 00:26:50,658 that brings tense vibes? 603 00:26:50,691 --> 00:26:52,626 I was wondering the same thing. 604 00:26:52,660 --> 00:26:54,327 Oh, no, this is our conversation now. 605 00:26:54,361 --> 00:26:56,597 Oh, totally. I'm sorry. 606 00:26:56,630 --> 00:26:58,666 That is not the first time I've heard that. 607 00:26:58,699 --> 00:26:59,500 I don't know. 608 00:27:00,334 --> 00:27:01,269 I guess we are. 609 00:27:03,103 --> 00:27:04,439 All right, fine. Fuck it. 610 00:27:05,571 --> 00:27:06,640 What? 611 00:27:06,673 --> 00:27:07,875 I give up. 612 00:27:09,276 --> 00:27:11,246 You wanna fuck someone else so badly, Mary, 613 00:27:12,413 --> 00:27:13,981 give it a shot. 614 00:27:14,582 --> 00:27:18,286 Seriously, give it a shot. We're goin' to a party. 615 00:27:18,853 --> 00:27:20,988 You could find yourself a dick or vagina, 616 00:27:21,020 --> 00:27:23,691 or whatever it is that's on trend these days. 617 00:27:23,723 --> 00:27:25,425 Go follow the zeitgeist. 618 00:27:25,459 --> 00:27:27,961 Am I looking for an apartment or- 619 00:27:27,994 --> 00:27:29,129 - You're overreacting. 620 00:27:29,163 --> 00:27:30,330 Yeah, well, you're being too woke. 621 00:27:30,364 --> 00:27:31,298 That's not a bad thing. 622 00:27:31,332 --> 00:27:32,333 Mm. 623 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:41,942 Fuck, where is it? 624 00:27:41,976 --> 00:27:43,010 Did you forget it? 625 00:27:43,042 --> 00:27:44,077 No, I'm getting it. 626 00:27:47,448 --> 00:27:50,518 ♪ Tonight I'm really living ♪ 627 00:27:50,550 --> 00:27:52,086 ♪ I'm a vampire again ♪ 628 00:27:52,118 --> 00:27:54,387 To my boys. 629 00:27:54,421 --> 00:27:55,456 Fuck Mary. 630 00:27:56,190 --> 00:27:57,124 What? 631 00:27:57,156 --> 00:27:58,326 Fuck her. 632 00:27:58,358 --> 00:28:00,327 We talking to the same Mark right now? 633 00:28:01,729 --> 00:28:02,630 - Oh, gracias. - Jesus. 634 00:28:02,663 --> 00:28:04,198 - Hey. - Cool. 635 00:28:04,230 --> 00:28:06,166 Who's here? What girls are here? 636 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,036 What a little bitch. Fuck Mark. 637 00:28:09,068 --> 00:28:10,070 What? 638 00:28:10,104 --> 00:28:11,005 Fuck him. 639 00:28:11,038 --> 00:28:12,339 What's going on? 640 00:28:12,373 --> 00:28:15,576 Look at him with his boyfriends and his little curls, 641 00:28:15,608 --> 00:28:17,544 'cause he just bought new conditioner. 642 00:28:17,577 --> 00:28:20,181 I'm lost. Can you elaborate? 643 00:28:20,213 --> 00:28:23,550 You know what, I took your advice, so fuck you, too. 644 00:28:23,584 --> 00:28:25,219 What advice? What did I do? 645 00:28:34,161 --> 00:28:36,297 Yeah, what about her? 646 00:28:36,329 --> 00:28:38,098 You think she would talk to me? 647 00:28:38,132 --> 00:28:39,333 Can you please not make my party 648 00:28:39,365 --> 00:28:40,334 - about- - Our party. 649 00:28:40,366 --> 00:28:41,434 - It's our party. - Really? 650 00:28:41,468 --> 00:28:42,269 We threw it together. 651 00:28:42,301 --> 00:28:43,570 - Okay. - Yeah. 652 00:28:43,604 --> 00:28:44,471 - Split the cost and everything. - Okay, I got. 653 00:28:44,505 --> 00:28:46,240 Can you not make our party- 654 00:28:46,272 --> 00:28:47,207 - Thank you. 655 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:48,509 about making Mary jealous? 656 00:28:48,541 --> 00:28:49,609 I'm not tryin' to make her jealous. 657 00:28:49,643 --> 00:28:51,144 Oh really? 658 00:28:51,178 --> 00:28:52,347 Then what are you trying to do? 659 00:28:55,182 --> 00:28:56,116 What is that? 660 00:28:58,285 --> 00:28:59,620 Okay. 661 00:28:59,653 --> 00:29:00,520 Go do that. 662 00:29:03,257 --> 00:29:05,226 What's up? 663 00:29:05,259 --> 00:29:06,426 What are you? 664 00:29:06,460 --> 00:29:09,430 Oh, I got like two, I got another mustache on my mustache. 665 00:29:09,462 --> 00:29:11,132 - Ah. - Better mustache. 666 00:29:11,164 --> 00:29:12,500 I can't believe how transparent he's being. 667 00:29:12,532 --> 00:29:14,467 He looks more drunk than transparent. 668 00:29:14,500 --> 00:29:15,569 What should I do? 669 00:29:16,636 --> 00:29:17,637 Nothing. 670 00:29:17,671 --> 00:29:18,706 What? 671 00:29:18,739 --> 00:29:20,441 There's nothing you can do. 672 00:29:20,473 --> 00:29:22,076 That's helpful. 673 00:29:22,108 --> 00:29:24,611 Stop saying I'm not helpful by saying I'm helpful 674 00:29:24,644 --> 00:29:26,480 when I'm just trying to be helpful. 675 00:29:26,512 --> 00:29:30,583 My husband is drunk, talking to some random hot girl. 676 00:29:30,616 --> 00:29:33,153 Yeah, I'm pretty sure she's not down anymore. 677 00:29:33,186 --> 00:29:34,421 I don't think she was ever down. 678 00:29:34,454 --> 00:29:35,789 Mm, she was a little down at first, 679 00:29:35,823 --> 00:29:37,291 and then I sent her the dick pic, 680 00:29:37,324 --> 00:29:39,493 and I don't think she's down anymore. 681 00:29:39,526 --> 00:29:41,095 I'm gonna go find AJ. Peace. 682 00:29:41,127 --> 00:29:43,630 She's coming, she's coming, shut the fuck up. 683 00:29:45,598 --> 00:29:46,500 Hey. 684 00:29:47,334 --> 00:29:48,236 Sup? 685 00:29:50,570 --> 00:29:51,338 Oh. 686 00:29:58,778 --> 00:29:59,680 So you like animals? 687 00:29:59,712 --> 00:30:03,616 Yeah. I, like, I love animals. 688 00:30:03,650 --> 00:30:07,421 Me too. You know, I walk dogs, so. 689 00:30:07,453 --> 00:30:08,321 Like for fun? 690 00:30:10,124 --> 00:30:11,092 Yeah. 691 00:30:11,125 --> 00:30:13,661 That's cool. 692 00:30:13,693 --> 00:30:15,361 I have a schnauzer. 693 00:30:15,394 --> 00:30:16,363 Oh, that's a great breed. 694 00:30:16,395 --> 00:30:17,464 Yeah. Thanks. 695 00:30:17,498 --> 00:30:18,432 - Great dogs. - They're cool. 696 00:30:18,464 --> 00:30:19,332 Uh-huh. 697 00:30:38,919 --> 00:30:41,522 So what have you been up to lately? 698 00:30:41,555 --> 00:30:44,525 Well, actually, it's my birthday week. 699 00:30:44,557 --> 00:30:47,827 So I have a couple little fun things planned. 700 00:30:47,861 --> 00:30:49,763 Oh, nice. 701 00:30:49,796 --> 00:30:51,132 Happy birthday. 702 00:30:51,164 --> 00:30:52,199 Thanks. 703 00:30:52,231 --> 00:30:53,166 Where's my cake? 704 00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:54,735 I don't know you, so. 705 00:30:59,539 --> 00:31:01,741 So are you, like, tryin' to do this? 706 00:31:01,775 --> 00:31:03,177 Do what? 707 00:31:03,210 --> 00:31:04,678 The whole, 708 00:31:04,711 --> 00:31:08,382 "We just met at a party, let's fuck," thing. 709 00:31:13,686 --> 00:31:15,755 Yes. 710 00:31:15,788 --> 00:31:16,656 Mm-hmm. 711 00:31:17,523 --> 00:31:18,892 Hmm. 712 00:31:23,230 --> 00:31:27,868 ♪ So I turn my head ♪ 713 00:31:29,603 --> 00:31:32,173 ♪ To look again ♪ 714 00:31:54,661 --> 00:31:55,763 Whoa, whoa, oh my god, okay. 715 00:31:55,796 --> 00:31:56,663 No, I'm okay. 716 00:31:56,696 --> 00:31:57,730 Oh, uh. 717 00:31:57,763 --> 00:31:58,798 This is okay, right? 718 00:31:58,832 --> 00:32:00,201 - Mm-hmm. - Do you like it? 719 00:32:00,233 --> 00:32:01,434 Do you like this? 720 00:32:02,501 --> 00:32:04,637 I don't, um... 721 00:32:04,671 --> 00:32:05,838 Really, it's okay. 722 00:32:05,872 --> 00:32:06,974 - No, you- - I just need a second. 723 00:32:07,007 --> 00:32:08,475 Yeah, yeah. 724 00:32:10,611 --> 00:32:12,278 I feel kind of... 725 00:32:12,311 --> 00:32:13,680 - Okay. - Do you have some water? 726 00:32:13,713 --> 00:32:16,282 Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's, uh... 727 00:32:16,316 --> 00:32:17,384 Let's... 728 00:32:37,570 --> 00:32:38,772 You're awake, right? 729 00:32:41,008 --> 00:32:41,976 Yeah. 730 00:32:42,808 --> 00:32:43,711 Cool. 731 00:32:45,679 --> 00:32:47,881 Why? Did you want me to be asleep for this? 732 00:32:47,913 --> 00:32:50,483 No, I don't want you to be asleep if I'm jerking off. 733 00:32:52,451 --> 00:32:53,787 I kind of feel like it'd be more normal 734 00:32:53,819 --> 00:32:55,388 if I was asleep for this. 735 00:32:56,056 --> 00:32:58,491 But you're like a participant. I don't know. 736 00:32:59,625 --> 00:33:01,695 How, how am I participating? 737 00:33:03,430 --> 00:33:04,865 You're in bed with me, 738 00:33:08,434 --> 00:33:09,436 breathing. 739 00:33:10,537 --> 00:33:11,838 Breathing? 740 00:33:11,872 --> 00:33:14,908 You know, like, you're with me. 741 00:33:14,941 --> 00:33:17,745 I'm thinking about you, and you're fully here for it. 742 00:33:19,378 --> 00:33:21,514 This is adjacent to what we were gonna do anyway. 743 00:33:23,817 --> 00:33:25,019 Should I stop? 744 00:33:25,051 --> 00:33:26,353 I don't really care. 745 00:33:52,479 --> 00:33:55,481 ♪ All that I want is ♪ 746 00:33:55,515 --> 00:33:59,353 ♪ A pair of wing to fly ♪ 747 00:33:59,385 --> 00:34:02,388 ♪ Into the blue of ♪ 748 00:34:02,422 --> 00:34:05,793 ♪ The wide open sky ♪ 749 00:34:05,826 --> 00:34:08,929 ♪ Show me your scars ♪ 750 00:34:08,961 --> 00:34:12,766 ♪ I'll show you mine ♪ 751 00:34:12,798 --> 00:34:14,567 ♪ Perched out of the city ♪ 752 00:34:14,601 --> 00:34:19,573 ♪ On a pair of power lines ♪ 753 00:34:20,005 --> 00:34:23,009 ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ 754 00:34:23,043 --> 00:34:25,079 ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ 755 00:34:30,150 --> 00:34:34,989 ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ 756 00:35:09,688 --> 00:35:11,692 I just jerked off. That's not anything. 757 00:35:11,724 --> 00:35:12,559 I mean... 758 00:35:13,527 --> 00:35:14,528 Right? 759 00:35:24,871 --> 00:35:26,073 I wasn't fat. 760 00:35:27,072 --> 00:35:28,641 I've never been fat. 761 00:35:37,851 --> 00:35:38,919 What do you think I should do? 762 00:35:39,985 --> 00:35:41,388 Am I closed-minded? 763 00:35:42,088 --> 00:35:43,657 Should we be open? 764 00:35:44,157 --> 00:35:45,659 Are birds monogamous? 765 00:35:46,827 --> 00:35:47,862 Answer me. 766 00:35:51,630 --> 00:35:53,000 What am I doing? 767 00:36:09,682 --> 00:36:11,451 Hey. 768 00:36:11,485 --> 00:36:13,487 I'm so sorry. 769 00:36:15,688 --> 00:36:16,589 Me too. 770 00:36:32,572 --> 00:36:34,907 Can I have an Oreo? 771 00:36:34,940 --> 00:36:36,676 Of course you can have an Oreo. 772 00:36:45,751 --> 00:36:47,688 I love you. 773 00:36:49,956 --> 00:36:51,858 I love you so much. 774 00:36:57,864 --> 00:36:58,965 I'm really, really sorry. 775 00:37:00,065 --> 00:37:01,067 Why? 776 00:37:01,101 --> 00:37:02,736 I don't know what I was doing. 777 00:37:06,206 --> 00:37:07,641 Was work okay? 778 00:37:08,240 --> 00:37:09,242 It was fine. 779 00:37:10,809 --> 00:37:11,945 How many Oreos did you eat? 780 00:37:11,978 --> 00:37:12,880 I don't know. 781 00:37:23,822 --> 00:37:25,291 Okay. 782 00:37:25,324 --> 00:37:28,694 If we're gonna do this, then no ex-boyfriends. 783 00:37:28,728 --> 00:37:30,163 No ex-girlfriends. 784 00:37:30,195 --> 00:37:31,130 I'm not even friends with any of them 785 00:37:31,164 --> 00:37:32,666 other than, like, on Instagram. 786 00:37:32,699 --> 00:37:33,666 I'm nervous. 787 00:37:33,699 --> 00:37:35,034 Me too. 788 00:37:35,068 --> 00:37:36,703 Hey, guys, I'm Melanie. I'll be your server. 789 00:37:36,735 --> 00:37:37,971 Can you get you started with some drinks? 790 00:37:38,003 --> 00:37:39,139 Wine, any wine. 791 00:37:39,172 --> 00:37:40,206 Gin. 792 00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:41,741 Okay. 793 00:37:44,911 --> 00:37:46,246 What else? 794 00:37:46,278 --> 00:37:48,681 Uh, no having sex with someone more than 795 00:37:49,815 --> 00:37:50,650 five times. 796 00:37:51,684 --> 00:37:52,652 Three times. 797 00:37:52,686 --> 00:37:53,954 Four times. 798 00:37:53,987 --> 00:37:56,757 This is a priority relationship, always. 799 00:37:56,789 --> 00:37:59,058 Yeah, so no preexisting fuck-buddies with baggage. 800 00:37:59,092 --> 00:38:00,727 That sounds like a disease. 801 00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:02,696 Speaking of diseases, no diseases. 802 00:38:02,728 --> 00:38:04,897 Yes, always use a condom. 803 00:38:04,931 --> 00:38:06,066 That goes for you, too. 804 00:38:06,099 --> 00:38:08,902 Yeah, obviously, I'm not bringing home random chlamydia. 805 00:38:08,934 --> 00:38:10,971 Is random chlamydia any different than regular chlamydi... 806 00:38:11,003 --> 00:38:12,838 Stop writing down band names. 807 00:38:12,871 --> 00:38:15,074 We are Random Chlamydia! 808 00:38:15,108 --> 00:38:17,010 I'm serious, no gonorrhea, no herp. 809 00:38:17,043 --> 00:38:18,979 Why are you whispering? 810 00:38:19,012 --> 00:38:20,314 I don't know, I just... 811 00:38:20,347 --> 00:38:21,949 I really, really don't want any of these things. 812 00:38:21,981 --> 00:38:23,182 Then it's settled. 813 00:38:23,215 --> 00:38:25,818 Rule number three is always use protection. 814 00:38:26,686 --> 00:38:27,788 What do we do about... 815 00:38:27,820 --> 00:38:28,822 What? 816 00:38:28,855 --> 00:38:30,090 My latex allergy. 817 00:38:30,123 --> 00:38:31,657 Suck it up. 818 00:38:31,690 --> 00:38:34,093 The non-latex ones don't protect against STDs. 819 00:38:34,126 --> 00:38:35,996 It's something to do with the spores, I guess. 820 00:38:36,028 --> 00:38:37,764 I am not gonna have rash peen. 821 00:38:37,797 --> 00:38:39,932 Oh my god, you're killing me with these good band names. 822 00:38:39,965 --> 00:38:41,067 Mary, please. 823 00:38:42,668 --> 00:38:44,136 Okay, well, there has to be another way. 824 00:38:44,170 --> 00:38:46,173 Well, I think there's non-latex ones that do work, 825 00:38:46,206 --> 00:38:47,941 but you have to special order them from Canada or- 826 00:38:47,974 --> 00:38:49,309 - Yeah, Canada Peen! 827 00:38:51,378 --> 00:38:52,980 - Hi. - Hi. 828 00:38:53,012 --> 00:38:54,280 Need another minute with the menu? 829 00:38:54,313 --> 00:38:55,815 Yeah, that'd be great. 830 00:38:55,849 --> 00:38:56,750 Of course. 831 00:38:57,717 --> 00:38:58,952 I got one. 832 00:38:58,985 --> 00:38:59,887 How about no, um... 833 00:39:03,422 --> 00:39:05,191 What? 834 00:39:05,224 --> 00:39:07,661 Suckin' on people's, uh, stuff. 835 00:39:08,728 --> 00:39:10,030 Suckin' a dick? 836 00:39:10,063 --> 00:39:12,398 Suckin' a dick. I won't suck-a the clit. 837 00:39:12,431 --> 00:39:13,700 Right. Yes. 838 00:39:15,034 --> 00:39:17,237 Out of curiosity, why? 839 00:39:17,269 --> 00:39:19,873 That's our thing, you know, wanna keep it special. 840 00:39:21,141 --> 00:39:23,943 Yeah. It's really special. 841 00:39:24,577 --> 00:39:27,247 Yours is the only one I've ever sucked. 842 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:28,215 Okay. 843 00:39:28,248 --> 00:39:29,816 I don't even... 844 00:39:29,849 --> 00:39:31,652 I'd never even seen a dick before yours, actually. 845 00:39:35,487 --> 00:39:36,756 Anything else? 846 00:39:36,789 --> 00:39:37,358 Hmm. 847 00:39:38,824 --> 00:39:41,894 Should we tell each other stuff? 848 00:39:41,927 --> 00:39:43,029 We already are. 849 00:39:43,063 --> 00:39:44,999 I mean, like, when stuff happens. 850 00:39:47,099 --> 00:39:49,068 Mm. 851 00:39:49,101 --> 00:39:51,070 I don't wanna know about you with other people. 852 00:39:51,103 --> 00:39:53,039 Like, we keep this part of our lives separate? 853 00:39:53,072 --> 00:39:56,108 Yeah. We need a policy like that to keep our sanity. 854 00:39:56,141 --> 00:39:57,810 I don't know, I think being honest with each other 855 00:39:57,844 --> 00:39:59,146 would be the best in the long run. 856 00:40:02,916 --> 00:40:06,153 I mean, I wanna know who you're with. 857 00:40:06,186 --> 00:40:07,921 You really do? You wanna know? 858 00:40:07,954 --> 00:40:09,189 I think so. 859 00:40:11,324 --> 00:40:12,693 Okay. 860 00:40:13,226 --> 00:40:15,362 I'll tell you, and you don't tell me. 861 00:40:16,396 --> 00:40:17,231 I guess. 862 00:40:19,298 --> 00:40:20,934 Oh my god. 863 00:40:24,771 --> 00:40:25,906 One more rule. 864 00:40:26,672 --> 00:40:28,841 It's the most important one for me. 865 00:40:28,875 --> 00:40:30,409 We do this as a trial run. 866 00:40:30,443 --> 00:40:32,345 This is not a forever thing, okay. 867 00:40:32,378 --> 00:40:34,081 This is a "see if we like it" thing. 868 00:40:34,114 --> 00:40:35,449 And if one of us doesn't like it, 869 00:40:35,481 --> 00:40:37,349 then we can go back to being just us. 870 00:40:37,382 --> 00:40:39,852 Yeah, that seems fair. 871 00:40:39,885 --> 00:40:41,021 You promise? 872 00:40:42,789 --> 00:40:43,824 I promise. 873 00:40:45,824 --> 00:40:46,926 Mm-hmm. 874 00:40:47,193 --> 00:40:48,461 - Mm-hmm. - You know what to do. 875 00:40:48,494 --> 00:40:50,230 Take it home, baby. 876 00:40:50,262 --> 00:40:51,831 Yeah. 877 00:40:54,166 --> 00:40:55,702 What do I put for profession? 878 00:40:57,170 --> 00:40:58,238 Entrepreneur? 879 00:40:58,271 --> 00:40:59,339 Mm-hmm. 880 00:40:59,371 --> 00:41:00,473 Fuck, dude, that's good. 881 00:41:00,507 --> 00:41:01,942 What do you do again? 882 00:41:01,974 --> 00:41:02,976 I'm an entrepreneur. 883 00:41:05,043 --> 00:41:06,012 Should I put singer? 884 00:41:08,380 --> 00:41:10,250 That does sound dumb. 885 00:41:10,282 --> 00:41:13,152 That does sound dumb. You should put businesswoman. 886 00:41:13,186 --> 00:41:14,888 No, that sounds way more dumb. 887 00:41:15,922 --> 00:41:17,224 Okay, I'm leaving it blank. 888 00:41:17,257 --> 00:41:18,825 It's mysterious. 889 00:41:18,858 --> 00:41:20,393 You should put broke. 890 00:41:20,425 --> 00:41:22,795 Yeah, then we should add that you're married. 891 00:41:24,130 --> 00:41:26,867 Should I put, like, taken and looking for friends? 892 00:41:26,900 --> 00:41:28,268 No, you're not looking for friends, 893 00:41:28,300 --> 00:41:29,902 and you don't need to put that many details. 894 00:41:29,936 --> 00:41:31,037 You don't need to find friends. 895 00:41:31,070 --> 00:41:32,305 'Cause we're your friends. 896 00:41:32,338 --> 00:41:33,774 I'm just looking for something casual, 897 00:41:33,806 --> 00:41:35,407 and I feel like I should be up-front about that. 898 00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,176 - So is everybody. - Everybody's what? 899 00:41:37,210 --> 00:41:39,179 Shit. You need a picture. 900 00:41:39,211 --> 00:41:40,780 Whatever you do, make sure you use the photo 901 00:41:40,813 --> 00:41:42,181 with the margarita and the tank top. 902 00:41:42,215 --> 00:41:44,351 You should use the photo from Halloween 903 00:41:44,384 --> 00:41:46,219 the year before last year. 904 00:41:46,251 --> 00:41:47,320 With the knife? 905 00:41:47,353 --> 00:41:48,989 - Yeah. - Yeah. 906 00:41:49,021 --> 00:41:50,389 You don't think it's a little scary? 907 00:41:50,422 --> 00:41:51,257 No, I do not. 908 00:41:51,291 --> 00:41:52,459 Mm-mm. 909 00:41:52,492 --> 00:41:53,560 There's blood on the knife, though. 910 00:41:53,592 --> 00:41:55,261 Dude, guys love fear. 911 00:41:55,295 --> 00:41:56,195 Yeah. 912 00:41:56,228 --> 00:41:57,897 They love that shit. 913 00:41:57,931 --> 00:41:59,965 ♪ Photo shoot, photo shoot ♪ 914 00:41:59,998 --> 00:42:01,867 ♪ We're gonna do a photo shoot ♪ 915 00:42:01,900 --> 00:42:03,036 Smile. 916 00:42:03,068 --> 00:42:03,737 No, I don't look good right now. 917 00:42:03,769 --> 00:42:05,237 I don't sleep well after wine. 918 00:42:05,271 --> 00:42:07,240 ♪ Yeah, you do, you look fuckin' great ♪ 919 00:42:07,273 --> 00:42:08,975 ♪ Let's do a photo shoot ♪ 920 00:42:09,007 --> 00:42:10,442 Wait. 921 00:42:10,476 --> 00:42:11,211 Okay. 922 00:42:12,211 --> 00:42:13,280 Oh shit. 923 00:42:13,313 --> 00:42:15,115 Um. 924 00:42:15,148 --> 00:42:17,317 If someone fucks with you, you take that big knife, 925 00:42:17,349 --> 00:42:21,420 put it up to his face and be like, I'm gonna stab you. 926 00:42:21,454 --> 00:42:25,392 I'm gonna st-st-stab you. I'm gonna stab you. 927 00:42:25,425 --> 00:42:27,527 I'm gonna st-st-st-stab you. 928 00:42:27,559 --> 00:42:29,596 I'm gonna stab you, mm. 929 00:42:29,628 --> 00:42:33,032 I'm gonna st-st-st-stab you, I'm... 930 00:42:33,065 --> 00:42:35,067 This looks like something else. 931 00:42:35,101 --> 00:42:36,970 Once more. Maybe wet the 'stache a little bit. 932 00:42:37,003 --> 00:42:38,338 Don't do that. Don't wet your 'stache. 933 00:42:40,873 --> 00:42:42,308 Let me see it. 934 00:42:42,342 --> 00:42:43,443 Huh. 935 00:42:43,476 --> 00:42:45,244 What? 936 00:42:45,277 --> 00:42:46,111 I don't know how you did it, but it got worse. 937 00:43:01,293 --> 00:43:02,929 I made an account, 938 00:43:03,730 --> 00:43:05,965 on that Crush'd thing, whatever you call it. 939 00:43:05,998 --> 00:43:07,600 Thank god. So did I. 940 00:43:09,302 --> 00:43:10,871 It feels good to tell you. 941 00:43:10,903 --> 00:43:12,338 Yeah, it does. I feel a lot better. 942 00:43:13,907 --> 00:43:15,075 You have to show me yours. 943 00:43:15,108 --> 00:43:16,276 Only if I can see yours, too. 944 00:43:19,612 --> 00:43:21,081 Oh my god. 945 00:43:25,652 --> 00:43:28,021 This shit so embarrassing. 946 00:43:28,054 --> 00:43:30,423 Okay, on the count of three. 947 00:43:30,456 --> 00:43:32,057 - Three, two, one. - One, two, three. 948 00:43:33,393 --> 00:43:35,028 Mark, this picture is bad. 949 00:43:35,061 --> 00:43:36,296 You have a knife in yours. 950 00:43:36,329 --> 00:43:37,664 - Are you kidding me? - It's a costume. 951 00:43:37,697 --> 00:43:40,066 Well, it is scary. 952 00:43:40,099 --> 00:43:41,434 But in a hot way, right? 953 00:43:41,467 --> 00:43:43,670 No, in like a weird internet person way. 954 00:43:43,702 --> 00:43:47,539 Like, I cosplay and eat strawberry yogurt at the mall. 955 00:43:47,572 --> 00:43:49,308 - What? - I love virtual reality. 956 00:43:49,342 --> 00:43:50,943 I can't believe yours says 957 00:43:50,976 --> 00:43:52,411 you went to The Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good. 958 00:43:52,445 --> 00:43:54,347 You know I love "Zoolander." 959 00:43:54,380 --> 00:43:57,182 You cannot quote "Zoolander" on here, immediate turnoff. 960 00:43:57,215 --> 00:43:58,150 It's better than nothing. 961 00:43:58,184 --> 00:43:59,352 I'm being mysterious. 962 00:43:59,385 --> 00:44:00,253 No one's gonna know what to write you. 963 00:44:00,286 --> 00:44:02,255 There's no material for an icebreaker. 964 00:44:02,722 --> 00:44:03,557 Shit. 965 00:44:04,523 --> 00:44:07,027 I didn't think about that. 966 00:44:10,496 --> 00:44:13,166 Hmm, okay, now mess up your hair a little bit. 967 00:44:13,199 --> 00:44:14,668 I don't wanna look like I just fucked my husband. 968 00:44:14,701 --> 00:44:16,202 But you did just fuck your husband. 969 00:44:16,235 --> 00:44:17,570 You know what I'm saying. 970 00:44:17,603 --> 00:44:19,606 Do I? Everything's backwards right now. 971 00:44:19,639 --> 00:44:22,442 I'm making my own wife look more fuckable for other men. 972 00:44:22,474 --> 00:44:25,177 A lot of girls do this one, like a butt shot. 973 00:44:26,378 --> 00:44:28,347 Ooh, you're so sexy. 974 00:44:28,380 --> 00:44:30,349 Take a bite. Take a bite. 975 00:44:30,382 --> 00:44:32,484 Okay, hold on. Let me do virgin face. 976 00:44:32,518 --> 00:44:34,320 It's my first time. 977 00:44:34,353 --> 00:44:38,023 Hmph, my parents are gonna come home soon. 978 00:44:40,059 --> 00:44:41,995 You're blinding me. 979 00:44:42,027 --> 00:44:43,329 It looks good. Trust me. 980 00:44:43,362 --> 00:44:44,463 Am I gonna have laser eyes? 981 00:44:44,496 --> 00:44:46,298 I can edit it. 982 00:44:46,331 --> 00:44:47,666 Make your sex face. 983 00:44:47,699 --> 00:44:49,068 You're an animal. 984 00:44:50,103 --> 00:44:51,171 Okay, one Zoolander, 985 00:44:51,204 --> 00:44:52,739 'cause I know you're dying to do it. 986 00:44:52,771 --> 00:44:54,273 Jesus Christ. 987 00:44:54,474 --> 00:44:55,442 Okay, I can't do this. 988 00:44:55,474 --> 00:44:56,375 I hate it. I hate it. 989 00:44:59,344 --> 00:45:02,081 Hey. 990 00:45:02,114 --> 00:45:02,715 I look good. 991 00:45:02,748 --> 00:45:03,482 See. 992 00:45:07,487 --> 00:45:10,356 - You're gettin' pussy. - Yeah. 993 00:45:12,458 --> 00:45:14,059 Okay, you can do another one. 994 00:45:14,092 --> 00:45:15,995 ♪ Oh, you the queen ♪ 995 00:45:16,028 --> 00:45:17,130 ♪ You're the king ♪ 996 00:45:17,163 --> 00:45:19,431 ♪ We got our aces out ♪ 997 00:45:19,465 --> 00:45:20,567 ♪ You the queen ♪ 998 00:45:20,599 --> 00:45:21,433 ♪ You're the king ♪ 999 00:45:21,467 --> 00:45:23,570 ♪ We got out aces out ♪ 1000 00:45:23,603 --> 00:45:27,039 ♪ Roll the dice on tonight, go and roll 'em out ♪ 1001 00:45:27,072 --> 00:45:28,674 ♪ Huh ♪ 1002 00:45:28,708 --> 00:45:30,543 ♪ Give me more than enough to go smile about ♪ 1003 00:45:30,576 --> 00:45:32,144 ♪ Aye, aye ♪ 1004 00:45:35,414 --> 00:45:37,550 - Aunty Carol. - Oh, Mary, I missed you. 1005 00:45:37,583 --> 00:45:39,686 We missed you. Thank you so much for having us. 1006 00:45:39,719 --> 00:45:41,221 We appreciate it. 1007 00:45:41,253 --> 00:45:42,454 I don't accept thank-yous. 1008 00:45:42,487 --> 00:45:44,223 What? Well, thank you anyway. 1009 00:45:44,257 --> 00:45:45,657 No. 1010 00:45:45,690 --> 00:45:46,558 - Oh. - Shh. 1011 00:45:46,592 --> 00:45:47,594 - I'm sorry. - Stop. 1012 00:45:47,626 --> 00:45:49,295 I'm so sorry, I didn't mean- 1013 00:45:49,327 --> 00:45:50,730 - It's okay. Come on in. 1014 00:45:51,431 --> 00:45:54,199 When I started, it wasn't all done on the internet, 1015 00:45:54,233 --> 00:45:57,237 wasn't all this swiping left and right and dick pics. 1016 00:45:57,269 --> 00:45:58,670 Right. 1017 00:45:58,704 --> 00:46:00,306 You actually had to talk to people face to face. 1018 00:46:00,338 --> 00:46:02,174 You had to ask them, "Hey, you wanna swing? 1019 00:46:02,208 --> 00:46:05,144 Hey, you wanna get naked with my friend?" 1020 00:46:05,177 --> 00:46:06,378 To the ladies. 1021 00:46:06,411 --> 00:46:08,213 - To getting some. - To mad pussy. 1022 00:46:08,246 --> 00:46:09,548 God, it sounds so bad 1023 00:46:09,581 --> 00:46:10,415 - when you say it like that. - I shouldn't have said it. 1024 00:46:10,449 --> 00:46:11,116 - Another one. - This guy, this guy, 1025 00:46:11,150 --> 00:46:11,684 - this, guy, this guy. - Ooh. 1026 00:46:11,717 --> 00:46:13,420 - Come back! - Hey! 1027 00:46:13,452 --> 00:46:14,554 - Hey, Socks. - Come here. 1028 00:46:14,586 --> 00:46:15,722 Hey, you want this? 1029 00:46:15,755 --> 00:46:16,456 - Yo, Socks. - Do you, would you, boy? 1030 00:46:16,489 --> 00:46:17,791 I know you do. 1031 00:46:17,824 --> 00:46:19,626 We should do this all, every day. 1032 00:46:19,659 --> 00:46:20,794 - I agree. - Yeah. 1033 00:46:20,827 --> 00:46:22,295 You're judging me! 1034 00:46:22,327 --> 00:46:23,228 Nobody's judging you. 1035 00:46:25,431 --> 00:46:27,434 ♪ No new friends, no ♪ 1036 00:46:27,467 --> 00:46:29,302 ♪ La-la-la-la ♪ 1037 00:46:29,335 --> 00:46:30,570 ♪ La-la-la ♪ 1038 00:46:30,603 --> 00:46:31,637 - I'm so drunk. - Oh, is this okay? 1039 00:46:31,670 --> 00:46:32,471 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1040 00:46:32,505 --> 00:46:33,640 ♪ La-la ♪ 1041 00:46:33,672 --> 00:46:35,607 ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 1042 00:46:35,641 --> 00:46:36,476 ♪ Ah-la-la-la ♪ ♪ No new friends ♪ 1043 00:46:36,509 --> 00:46:38,244 ♪ La-la-la-la ♪ 1044 00:46:38,277 --> 00:46:40,713 ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 1045 00:46:40,746 --> 00:46:42,782 ♪ La-la-la-la ♪ 1046 00:46:42,815 --> 00:46:45,518 ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 1047 00:46:45,550 --> 00:46:47,554 ♪ Oh, when the sun goes down ♪ 1048 00:46:47,586 --> 00:46:49,755 ♪ And when it comes back up ♪ 1049 00:46:49,789 --> 00:46:52,158 ♪ We got our aces out ♪ 1050 00:46:52,190 --> 00:46:54,460 ♪ We got our aces out ♪ 1051 00:46:54,494 --> 00:46:56,463 ♪ Oh, when the sun goes down ♪ 1052 00:46:56,496 --> 00:46:59,532 Hot. I mean,. 1053 00:46:59,565 --> 00:47:01,166 ♪ We got our aces out ♪ 1054 00:47:01,199 --> 00:47:04,236 ♪ We got our aces out ♪ 1055 00:47:04,269 --> 00:47:05,605 Anyway, I'm dating a man now. 1056 00:47:05,637 --> 00:47:07,440 Oh. That's great. 1057 00:47:07,472 --> 00:47:08,574 I hadn't have dick in a long time, 1058 00:47:08,608 --> 00:47:10,610 so it's really a good change of pace. 1059 00:47:10,643 --> 00:47:11,610 I didn't know what I was missing. 1060 00:47:11,643 --> 00:47:12,478 Ew! 1061 00:47:12,512 --> 00:47:14,180 Dick is awesome. 1062 00:47:14,213 --> 00:47:15,448 So insane. 1063 00:47:15,481 --> 00:47:16,516 This is how you've always wanted it, right? 1064 00:47:17,550 --> 00:47:18,651 Go ahead, shoot me. Shoot me. 1065 00:47:20,887 --> 00:47:22,355 Do we really need this? 1066 00:47:22,387 --> 00:47:23,222 Yes. 1067 00:47:23,255 --> 00:47:24,790 ♪ La-la-la-la ♪ 1068 00:47:24,824 --> 00:47:27,126 ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 1069 00:47:27,159 --> 00:47:27,693 ♪ No new friends ♪ 1070 00:47:27,726 --> 00:47:29,561 ♪ La-la-la-la ♪ 1071 00:47:29,594 --> 00:47:31,563 ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 1072 00:47:31,597 --> 00:47:33,166 ♪ No new friends ♪ 1073 00:47:33,199 --> 00:47:34,634 - We're so sweaty. - Yes, you're workin' hard. 1074 00:47:34,666 --> 00:47:36,268 ♪ La-la-la-la ♪ 1075 00:47:36,302 --> 00:47:39,439 ♪ No new friends ♪ 1076 00:47:41,673 --> 00:47:43,809 And what rules are working for you guys? 1077 00:47:43,842 --> 00:47:46,278 That's a stupid question. 1078 00:47:46,311 --> 00:47:50,116 The whole point of being open is there's no restrictions. 1079 00:47:50,916 --> 00:47:52,851 Rules are the death of life. 1080 00:48:10,936 --> 00:48:11,871 We need a new rule. 1081 00:48:13,739 --> 00:48:16,342 How about no sleeping with other people in our apartment? 1082 00:48:16,375 --> 00:48:17,409 Our space. 1083 00:48:17,443 --> 00:48:18,511 Yes. 1084 00:48:18,543 --> 00:48:19,444 I mean, I don't think anyone's 1085 00:48:19,478 --> 00:48:20,646 gonna wanna be in here anyway. 1086 00:48:20,679 --> 00:48:21,681 Yeah, it's a health hazard. 1087 00:48:23,382 --> 00:48:25,251 So we need any other rules? 1088 00:48:25,284 --> 00:48:25,818 Mm. 1089 00:48:26,851 --> 00:48:27,853 I don't know. 1090 00:48:29,688 --> 00:48:32,391 You haven't been telling me about 1091 00:48:33,326 --> 00:48:35,461 what's been goin' on. 1092 00:48:35,494 --> 00:48:36,796 You really wanna know? 1093 00:48:36,829 --> 00:48:37,964 Yeah, what's it been like sleeping with someone 1094 00:48:37,996 --> 00:48:38,931 who's not me? 1095 00:48:42,668 --> 00:48:44,304 Mm, good? 1096 00:48:44,336 --> 00:48:45,505 That's good. 1097 00:48:45,538 --> 00:48:47,773 It feels so weird talking about it. 1098 00:48:47,806 --> 00:48:50,709 That's part of it, though. I wanted to know the truth. 1099 00:48:51,510 --> 00:48:54,381 I guess I just feel like I can't articulate it yet. 1100 00:48:54,947 --> 00:48:55,815 Is that okay? 1101 00:48:57,416 --> 00:48:58,285 That's okay. 1102 00:49:08,661 --> 00:49:09,963 Oh god. 1103 00:49:14,300 --> 00:49:16,236 What just happened? 1104 00:49:16,268 --> 00:49:17,469 That was so good. 1105 00:49:22,675 --> 00:49:24,644 I have another rule idea. 1106 00:49:24,677 --> 00:49:25,679 Hit me. 1107 00:49:28,914 --> 00:49:30,650 We try a threesome. 1108 00:49:30,682 --> 00:49:31,818 That's not really a rule. 1109 00:49:31,851 --> 00:49:33,286 No, you're right. 1110 00:49:33,318 --> 00:49:35,320 Stupid idea, I don't know why I 1111 00:49:35,353 --> 00:49:36,321 - brought it up. - I'm in. 1112 00:49:36,355 --> 00:49:37,289 Really? 1113 00:49:37,322 --> 00:49:38,590 Yeah. 1114 00:49:38,623 --> 00:49:40,425 Okay. 1115 00:49:40,458 --> 00:49:41,393 Where do we find her? 1116 00:49:41,427 --> 00:49:42,028 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1117 00:49:42,061 --> 00:49:43,596 What? 1118 00:49:43,628 --> 00:49:45,431 It's automatically a girl? 1119 00:49:45,463 --> 00:49:46,632 I'm not crossin' swords. 1120 00:49:46,666 --> 00:49:47,767 Don't be homophobic. 1121 00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:49,402 That's not homophobic. 1122 00:49:49,434 --> 00:49:51,670 A threesome with a magical unicorn girl 1123 00:49:51,704 --> 00:49:53,573 is you thinking about your pleasure before mine. 1124 00:49:53,606 --> 00:49:54,974 You can get stuff done to you. 1125 00:49:55,007 --> 00:49:56,608 Stuff done to me? 1126 00:49:56,641 --> 00:49:58,377 It would be for both of us. 1127 00:49:58,411 --> 00:50:01,914 Okay, I'm down, I really am, if it's equal. 1128 00:50:01,947 --> 00:50:04,017 Since when do you have such a binary view of gender? 1129 00:50:04,050 --> 00:50:05,818 I'll correct myself, 1130 00:50:05,851 --> 00:50:07,987 one with a vagina and one with a penis. 1131 00:50:08,019 --> 00:50:09,588 I'm all about equality, baby. 1132 00:50:09,621 --> 00:50:10,856 But I don't want a penis near me. 1133 00:50:10,889 --> 00:50:13,058 You live with a penis near you! 1134 00:50:13,092 --> 00:50:14,927 It's on your person. 1135 00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:16,628 That's not a good argument. 1136 00:50:16,661 --> 00:50:17,696 Then I don't want a vagina near me. 1137 00:50:18,731 --> 00:50:20,733 What? I'm using your logic. 1138 00:50:20,766 --> 00:50:23,068 It's not my logic, 'cause you've been with girls before. 1139 00:50:23,101 --> 00:50:24,971 This could be life-changing. 1140 00:50:25,003 --> 00:50:26,038 Can we try the girl way first? 1141 00:50:26,072 --> 00:50:27,472 I see what you're doing, 1142 00:50:27,505 --> 00:50:29,442 and you're not getting out of it like that. 1143 00:50:29,474 --> 00:50:30,842 We will have a threesome with someone 1144 00:50:30,876 --> 00:50:33,780 who identifies as a man. 1145 00:50:33,813 --> 00:50:35,882 And as a reward, we'll have a threesome with someone 1146 00:50:35,914 --> 00:50:37,382 who identifies as a woman. 1147 00:50:37,416 --> 00:50:38,885 We're on a reward system now? 1148 00:50:38,918 --> 00:50:40,820 What am I, a dog getting treats? 1149 00:50:40,853 --> 00:50:42,454 You're a dog gettin' pussy. 1150 00:50:46,726 --> 00:50:48,827 Oh my god, so you guys are actually going to- 1151 00:50:48,860 --> 00:50:50,663 - Yep. - If we can find someone. 1152 00:50:50,695 --> 00:50:51,931 You sound shady like that. 1153 00:50:51,963 --> 00:50:53,932 Is it weird that we're telling your sister? 1154 00:50:53,965 --> 00:50:55,867 We tell each other everything. 1155 00:50:55,900 --> 00:50:57,002 Everything? 1156 00:50:57,036 --> 00:50:58,070 Wait, do you... 1157 00:50:58,403 --> 00:51:00,405 Like, everything, everything? 1158 00:51:00,438 --> 00:51:01,440 Yeah. 1159 00:51:01,474 --> 00:51:02,575 Huh. 1160 00:51:03,509 --> 00:51:04,543 Sick. 1161 00:51:05,510 --> 00:51:07,447 Um, okay, well... 1162 00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:11,117 Um, yeah, I mean, I'm sure you guys can find a third. 1163 00:51:11,150 --> 00:51:12,518 Why haven't we talked about this? 1164 00:51:12,550 --> 00:51:14,353 Don't look at me. 1165 00:51:14,387 --> 00:51:15,355 We weren't. 1166 00:51:15,387 --> 00:51:16,855 Do not look at me either. 1167 00:51:16,889 --> 00:51:18,591 We weren't. 1168 00:51:18,623 --> 00:51:19,792 Although... 1169 00:51:20,393 --> 00:51:23,628 Lana, you wouldn't be interested, would you? 1170 00:51:23,661 --> 00:51:25,364 - Hey, what? - Well, hey. 1171 00:51:25,398 --> 00:51:26,865 What, you don't, even hypothetically, 1172 00:51:26,898 --> 00:51:28,000 want me as your third? 1173 00:51:28,032 --> 00:51:28,933 You just said you didn't want to. 1174 00:51:28,967 --> 00:51:30,034 Yeah, but I'd like an offer to reject. 1175 00:51:30,068 --> 00:51:33,438 It is kind of perfect. We do need a male third, too. 1176 00:51:33,472 --> 00:51:34,874 Hey. 1177 00:51:34,907 --> 00:51:36,476 Okay, let's not share everything with the group. 1178 00:51:36,509 --> 00:51:37,976 No, we share. 1179 00:51:38,010 --> 00:51:39,145 Yeah. 1180 00:51:39,177 --> 00:51:40,446 Wait, hold on, would you guys... 1181 00:51:41,213 --> 00:51:43,782 Would you guys pay me for my services? 1182 00:51:43,815 --> 00:51:44,884 - No. - No. 1183 00:51:45,818 --> 00:51:47,020 No? 1184 00:51:47,552 --> 00:51:48,820 Why not? I'm broke, and I need money. 1185 00:51:48,853 --> 00:51:50,155 We don't have any money. 1186 00:51:50,188 --> 00:51:52,924 Okay, but I feel like prostituting myself... 1187 00:51:52,958 --> 00:51:54,394 Thank you. 1188 00:51:54,994 --> 00:51:57,764 If it's to friends, it's not completely unreasonable. 1189 00:51:57,797 --> 00:51:59,398 Am I right? 1190 00:51:59,431 --> 00:52:00,165 Who's paying what? 1191 00:52:00,199 --> 00:52:01,800 Let's just split it. 1192 00:52:01,833 --> 00:52:03,168 No way. I only got sides. 1193 00:52:03,202 --> 00:52:05,138 Yeah, me too. Also, you're my elder. 1194 00:52:05,170 --> 00:52:06,571 That doesn't mean I pay for you. 1195 00:52:06,605 --> 00:52:07,807 Why can't it mean that? 1196 00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:09,475 Dad pays for your whole life. 1197 00:52:09,507 --> 00:52:10,742 Okay, why don't we just... 1198 00:52:10,775 --> 00:52:12,844 We'll tally it up card by card. 1199 00:52:12,878 --> 00:52:14,947 We're all adults, right? 1200 00:52:14,980 --> 00:52:16,548 All right, what are you guys tipping? 1201 00:52:16,581 --> 00:52:17,784 20%. 1202 00:52:17,817 --> 00:52:18,951 18%. 1203 00:52:18,983 --> 00:52:19,885 17. 1204 00:52:19,918 --> 00:52:21,520 18%. 1205 00:52:21,554 --> 00:52:22,454 12. 1206 00:52:23,722 --> 00:52:25,024 12 what? 1207 00:52:25,056 --> 00:52:26,625 - Percent. - Percent, babe, 1208 00:52:26,659 --> 00:52:28,427 you can't just do 12%. 1209 00:52:28,460 --> 00:52:30,663 She was really slow, and she brought me decaf. 1210 00:52:31,864 --> 00:52:32,932 Fuck all of you. 1211 00:52:33,998 --> 00:52:35,667 Okay. 1212 00:52:35,701 --> 00:52:36,668 Except you. 1213 00:52:36,702 --> 00:52:37,437 Oh. 1214 00:52:42,141 --> 00:52:43,041 My dad just shipped us 1215 00:52:43,074 --> 00:52:44,609 the first Life Cup prototype. 1216 00:52:44,643 --> 00:52:45,811 Life Cup? 1217 00:52:45,844 --> 00:52:47,112 Our spit test. 1218 00:52:47,146 --> 00:52:48,714 Yeah, I know, I just... 1219 00:52:48,746 --> 00:52:50,048 You're calling it the Life Cup? 1220 00:52:50,081 --> 00:52:51,683 Yeah. It was your idea, remember? 1221 00:52:54,652 --> 00:52:55,554 You don't like it? 1222 00:52:55,588 --> 00:52:58,524 It's just super Republican. 1223 00:52:58,556 --> 00:52:59,491 What are you talking about? 1224 00:52:59,525 --> 00:53:01,626 Like, why can't it be called the Choice Cup 1225 00:53:01,659 --> 00:53:04,230 or Information Cup? 1226 00:53:04,262 --> 00:53:06,097 Probably 'cause those aren't good names. 1227 00:53:12,137 --> 00:53:13,639 Holy shit. 1228 00:53:13,672 --> 00:53:15,474 Wait, don't say anything yet. 1229 00:53:15,507 --> 00:53:16,875 Should we play dumb? 1230 00:53:16,909 --> 00:53:17,977 We need to strategize. 1231 00:53:21,547 --> 00:53:23,615 It doesn't hurt to make her wait a little too. 1232 00:53:24,916 --> 00:53:26,552 Do we really wanna do this? 1233 00:53:26,786 --> 00:53:27,720 Do you? 1234 00:53:29,755 --> 00:53:30,990 - Yes. - Okay, then fuck it. 1235 00:53:31,023 --> 00:53:33,025 The situation is presenting itself. 1236 00:53:33,057 --> 00:53:34,193 Yeah, but we kind of presented it to her. 1237 00:53:34,226 --> 00:53:35,628 You did. 1238 00:53:35,661 --> 00:53:36,996 You're not gonna get mad at me 1239 00:53:37,028 --> 00:53:38,264 'cause we did it with a girl first? 1240 00:53:38,297 --> 00:53:39,699 You're not gonna hold it against me later? 1241 00:53:39,731 --> 00:53:42,134 I reserve the right to have any feeling I want, 1242 00:53:42,166 --> 00:53:43,702 any time that I want. 1243 00:53:43,735 --> 00:53:44,536 Mary. 1244 00:53:46,137 --> 00:53:47,139 Fine, I won't. 1245 00:53:48,206 --> 00:53:49,074 Really? 1246 00:53:49,108 --> 00:53:50,510 I won't get mad. 1247 00:53:51,244 --> 00:53:53,913 In for what, question mark, ha dash ha. 1248 00:53:53,945 --> 00:53:56,581 Don't voice text. You sound like a serial killer. 1249 00:53:56,614 --> 00:53:57,817 Why? It's easier. 1250 00:53:59,083 --> 00:54:00,819 Oh shit. 1251 00:54:04,889 --> 00:54:06,057 She knows we're panicking. 1252 00:54:06,090 --> 00:54:07,293 I don't think we're panicking. 1253 00:54:25,945 --> 00:54:27,613 Hi. 1254 00:54:27,646 --> 00:54:28,181 Hey. 1255 00:54:30,081 --> 00:54:30,884 Hi. 1256 00:54:31,849 --> 00:54:32,817 Three. 1257 00:54:32,851 --> 00:54:33,786 Two, one. 1258 00:54:36,989 --> 00:54:39,324 Oh my god, Jesus Christ. 1259 00:54:39,358 --> 00:54:40,260 Whew. 1260 00:54:41,693 --> 00:54:42,961 Oh! 1261 00:54:42,994 --> 00:54:45,163 I really like your mustache. 1262 00:54:45,197 --> 00:54:46,065 You do? 1263 00:54:46,097 --> 00:54:48,000 Yeah. 1264 00:54:48,032 --> 00:54:49,935 Thank you. 1265 00:54:51,737 --> 00:54:52,639 - Oh. - Yeah. 1266 00:54:58,677 --> 00:54:59,745 Have you ever done coke before? 1267 00:54:59,777 --> 00:55:00,980 - No. - You wanna do some cocaine? 1268 00:55:01,012 --> 00:55:01,980 - Okay. - Yeah? 1269 00:55:02,014 --> 00:55:03,649 You wanna do coke? 1270 00:55:07,219 --> 00:55:10,021 Ooh, I did not give you a baby line. 1271 00:55:10,054 --> 00:55:11,123 Excuse me, girl, but... 1272 00:55:12,690 --> 00:55:15,360 Hey, come here. I made this song just for you. 1273 00:55:15,393 --> 00:55:16,227 Come here. 1274 00:55:21,099 --> 00:55:23,034 It's my favorite song! 1275 00:55:23,068 --> 00:55:24,604 Yes! Oh shit! 1276 00:55:32,677 --> 00:55:34,813 ♪ Come into my bedroom ♪ 1277 00:55:34,847 --> 00:55:37,149 ♪ Walk in like you used to ♪ 1278 00:55:37,181 --> 00:55:39,050 ♪ Say you'll never leave me lonely ♪ 1279 00:55:39,083 --> 00:55:41,186 ♪ Tell me how you want me only ♪ 1280 00:55:41,219 --> 00:55:42,087 ♪ Come into my ♪ 1281 00:55:42,121 --> 00:55:42,889 Guys. 1282 00:55:45,324 --> 00:55:47,927 ♪ And let me love you ♪ 1283 00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:48,860 Guys. 1284 00:55:51,764 --> 00:55:53,265 Hey, guys. 1285 00:55:53,297 --> 00:55:54,333 - What? - Babe. 1286 00:55:56,068 --> 00:55:57,203 Include me. 1287 00:55:57,235 --> 00:55:59,739 Of course, babe. 1288 00:55:59,771 --> 00:56:01,106 Of course, babe. 1289 00:56:01,139 --> 00:56:02,407 Whatever. 1290 00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:04,143 I guess I'm supposed to not say that. 1291 00:56:04,175 --> 00:56:05,644 I'm supposed to be suave and find a way 1292 00:56:05,677 --> 00:56:06,811 to grow a second dick. 1293 00:56:11,916 --> 00:56:13,418 Second dick? 1294 00:56:13,452 --> 00:56:16,122 Dos dick-os! 1295 00:56:16,155 --> 00:56:20,793 ♪ All wanna do is us ♪ 1296 00:56:20,826 --> 00:56:24,262 ♪ Boy, I reminisce how we touch and kiss ♪ 1297 00:56:24,295 --> 00:56:29,201 ♪ And come into my bedroom ♪ 1298 00:56:29,233 --> 00:56:32,070 ♪ Oh whoa ♪ 1299 00:56:32,103 --> 00:56:33,772 ♪ Be mine ♪ 1300 00:56:33,806 --> 00:56:38,177 ♪ All I wanna do is you ♪ 1301 00:56:38,210 --> 00:56:41,981 ♪ Sentimental soul, heart with no control ♪ 1302 00:56:42,014 --> 00:56:46,952 ♪ And all I wanna do is us ♪ 1303 00:56:46,985 --> 00:56:50,389 ♪ Boy, I reminisce how we touch and kiss ♪ 1304 00:56:50,422 --> 00:56:55,260 ♪ And come into my bedroom ♪ 1305 00:56:56,228 --> 00:56:57,463 ♪ Oh whoa ♪ 1306 00:57:12,844 --> 00:57:16,281 Tell me everything. Did it freak you out? 1307 00:57:16,315 --> 00:57:17,983 Did he pay more attention to her? 1308 00:57:18,016 --> 00:57:20,985 Um, sometimes. 1309 00:57:21,018 --> 00:57:22,821 Did he penetrate her? 1310 00:57:22,855 --> 00:57:24,155 Penetrate? 1311 00:57:24,188 --> 00:57:26,257 Oh my god, that's a yes. 1312 00:57:26,291 --> 00:57:27,760 I mean, yeah, it's... 1313 00:57:27,793 --> 00:57:28,961 That's what a threesome is. 1314 00:57:30,929 --> 00:57:32,431 You weren't freaking out? 1315 00:57:32,463 --> 00:57:33,398 I can't freak out. 1316 00:57:33,431 --> 00:57:34,833 Be human. 1317 00:57:34,867 --> 00:57:36,702 Okay, I freaked out a little bit. 1318 00:57:37,637 --> 00:57:42,141 The idea of it never mattered, but actually seeing it enter, 1319 00:57:42,907 --> 00:57:43,808 I don't know. 1320 00:57:43,842 --> 00:57:45,744 Oh my god, where did he come? 1321 00:57:46,045 --> 00:57:48,880 I've always wondered the politics of that. 1322 00:57:48,914 --> 00:57:51,050 Like, was it like a hose? 1323 00:57:51,083 --> 00:57:53,251 You're doing it like he knighted both of us 1324 00:57:53,284 --> 00:57:54,385 - with his cum. - Yeah, I mean- 1325 00:57:54,418 --> 00:57:55,153 - No. 1326 00:57:57,121 --> 00:57:58,790 You're sick. 1327 00:57:58,824 --> 00:58:01,293 Okay, I'm not the one that had a threesome, thank you. 1328 00:58:01,326 --> 00:58:02,494 Move. I'm gonna fart on you. 1329 00:58:02,527 --> 00:58:04,195 ♪ It's only natural ♪ 1330 00:58:04,228 --> 00:58:05,297 Tell us everything. 1331 00:58:05,329 --> 00:58:06,431 Gentleman never tells. 1332 00:58:06,465 --> 00:58:07,500 Bullshit, how did you get married 1333 00:58:07,532 --> 00:58:09,268 and start having more sex? 1334 00:58:09,300 --> 00:58:10,369 Oh, it just happened. 1335 00:58:10,402 --> 00:58:11,202 I hate you, Mark. 1336 00:58:11,235 --> 00:58:13,105 I hate you so much. 1337 00:58:13,137 --> 00:58:14,373 Did your dick get nervous? 1338 00:58:14,405 --> 00:58:15,373 Probably got stage fright, right? 1339 00:58:15,407 --> 00:58:17,876 You're like, oh, it's too much stimulation. 1340 00:58:17,909 --> 00:58:19,377 - Here I am, here I am. - Oh goodness, oh no. 1341 00:58:19,411 --> 00:58:21,280 - What do I do, what do I do? - Oh no, no, my dick. 1342 00:58:21,313 --> 00:58:23,382 There's too many holes. 1343 00:58:30,856 --> 00:58:32,958 I did drink so much I was worried I wasn't gonna get 1344 00:58:32,990 --> 00:58:34,025 fully hard. 1345 00:58:36,994 --> 00:58:39,264 Were you? Were you fully hard? 1346 00:58:39,297 --> 00:58:42,167 Yeah. It was fucking awesome. 1347 00:58:47,972 --> 00:58:49,275 Do you think Mom ever had a threesome? 1348 00:58:50,375 --> 00:58:51,110 Probably. 1349 00:58:53,244 --> 00:58:55,047 Why don't we ever talk about her? 1350 00:58:55,246 --> 00:58:56,548 I don't know. 1351 00:58:57,315 --> 00:58:59,083 I love looking at old photos of her 1352 00:58:59,117 --> 00:59:00,452 when she was pregnant with us. 1353 00:59:01,219 --> 00:59:04,022 I was doing that the other day, actually, so cute. 1354 00:59:06,992 --> 00:59:09,028 That's why I didn't have a real wedding. 1355 00:59:09,061 --> 00:59:11,063 It didn't make sense to do it without her, you know? 1356 00:59:12,197 --> 00:59:13,332 She'd fucking hate Mark, too. 1357 00:59:13,364 --> 00:59:15,099 Hate Mark. 1358 00:59:15,132 --> 00:59:16,434 - That mustache would not- - His mustache! 1359 00:59:16,467 --> 00:59:17,301 - Nah, yeah, I know. - I was just gonna 1360 00:59:17,335 --> 00:59:19,137 - say that. - I know, I know, I know. 1361 00:59:19,170 --> 00:59:20,271 She'd freak. 1362 00:59:51,936 --> 00:59:53,172 ♪ Don't wait up for me ♪ 1363 00:59:53,204 --> 00:59:54,239 Cheers. 1364 00:59:59,311 --> 01:00:00,546 - Wow. - It works. 1365 01:00:00,579 --> 01:00:02,048 Do you normally pick that? 1366 01:00:03,215 --> 01:00:04,016 Is it not good? 1367 01:00:05,449 --> 01:00:08,052 ♪ 'Cause I'm gonna, I'm gonna be ♪ 1368 01:00:08,085 --> 01:00:10,455 ♪ Havin' myself a good time ♪ 1369 01:00:10,489 --> 01:00:12,458 ♪ Without ♪ 1370 01:00:12,490 --> 01:00:17,362 ♪ Without you ♪ 1371 01:00:19,264 --> 01:00:21,500 ♪ Havin' myself a good time ♪ 1372 01:00:30,509 --> 01:00:31,610 Who's that? 1373 01:00:31,643 --> 01:00:34,346 Oh, it's, uh, just my wife. 1374 01:00:56,534 --> 01:00:58,136 What'd you drink last night? 1375 01:00:58,170 --> 01:00:59,271 I didn't. 1376 01:00:59,771 --> 01:01:01,206 What did you do last night? 1377 01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:02,641 Was it tequila again? 1378 01:01:02,673 --> 01:01:04,143 No, I stayed home 1379 01:01:04,175 --> 01:01:06,478 and played Word Streak on my phone all night. 1380 01:01:07,112 --> 01:01:09,181 Did you order from the Thai place or something? 1381 01:01:10,315 --> 01:01:11,182 No. 1382 01:01:26,264 --> 01:01:28,166 Okay, what do I do? 1383 01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:30,469 You just spit in the center part where the circle is. 1384 01:01:30,501 --> 01:01:32,704 See? Right there. 1385 01:01:32,737 --> 01:01:33,972 And how do I know if I'm- 1386 01:01:34,005 --> 01:01:35,273 - It should turn dark purple. 1387 01:01:35,306 --> 01:01:36,240 Really? 1388 01:01:36,273 --> 01:01:37,208 Yeah. 1389 01:01:38,643 --> 01:01:39,978 It's a good idea. 1390 01:01:40,012 --> 01:01:41,981 Yeah, I know, it's, um... 1391 01:01:42,014 --> 01:01:43,716 I'm not criticizing you, it's... 1392 01:01:43,748 --> 01:01:45,216 Okay. 1393 01:01:45,250 --> 01:01:46,085 It's great. 1394 01:01:47,452 --> 01:01:49,956 How do I know if I'm not pregnant? 1395 01:01:50,755 --> 01:01:52,490 It should turn dark green. 1396 01:01:53,291 --> 01:01:56,394 If we pick different colors, like if we chose blue and pink, 1397 01:01:56,427 --> 01:01:58,096 then people would assume that the Life Cup predicts gender, 1398 01:01:58,130 --> 01:01:58,764 and it doesn't predict- 1399 01:01:58,797 --> 01:02:00,165 - Okay, how about no colors? 1400 01:02:10,141 --> 01:02:11,376 Is that enough for you? 1401 01:02:13,644 --> 01:02:15,047 We need to go to the store. 1402 01:02:15,079 --> 01:02:16,047 Why? 1403 01:02:16,081 --> 01:02:17,283 We need to get a real test. 1404 01:02:17,483 --> 01:02:18,550 This is a real test. 1405 01:02:18,583 --> 01:02:20,318 No, it's not. It's not science. 1406 01:02:20,351 --> 01:02:21,586 It's a fucking mood ring. 1407 01:02:28,159 --> 01:02:32,431 ♪ Baby, baby, I'm taken with the notion ♪ 1408 01:02:34,166 --> 01:02:37,436 ♪ To love you with the sweetest of devotion ♪ 1409 01:02:37,469 --> 01:02:42,407 ♪ Baby, baby, my tender love will flow from ♪ 1410 01:02:42,440 --> 01:02:44,475 ♪ The bluest sky to the ♪ 1411 01:02:53,851 --> 01:02:55,653 Three minutes. 1412 01:02:55,686 --> 01:02:56,588 I know. 1413 01:03:09,768 --> 01:03:12,103 You wanna sing me a song? 1414 01:03:13,637 --> 01:03:14,639 Not really. 1415 01:03:19,577 --> 01:03:21,280 I told you. 1416 01:03:21,313 --> 01:03:22,847 Really? You're going to hit me with an, "I told you so"? 1417 01:03:22,880 --> 01:03:23,815 The mood ring was accurate. 1418 01:03:23,849 --> 01:03:25,651 It had a 50-50 chance. 1419 01:03:25,684 --> 01:03:27,252 Why are you being like this? 1420 01:03:27,284 --> 01:03:28,686 Can't you see that I'm fucking pregnant right now? 1421 01:03:28,719 --> 01:03:30,621 Yeah, what if it's not my kid? 1422 01:03:30,655 --> 01:03:32,591 Why would it not be your kid? 1423 01:03:32,623 --> 01:03:33,457 I don't know, because you've been having 1424 01:03:33,492 --> 01:03:35,627 a sweaty fuck parade with other men? 1425 01:03:35,659 --> 01:03:37,462 You've been having a sweaty fuck parade, too. 1426 01:03:37,496 --> 01:03:39,530 I'm being punished because a dick can't give birth 1427 01:03:39,563 --> 01:03:40,364 and a vagina can? 1428 01:03:40,398 --> 01:03:41,533 What? 1429 01:03:41,565 --> 01:03:42,500 Besides, I'm on the pill. 1430 01:03:42,534 --> 01:03:43,769 Okay, we both know 1431 01:03:43,802 --> 01:03:45,437 you don't take the pill consistently enough. 1432 01:03:45,469 --> 01:03:46,571 You're supposed to take it every day 1433 01:03:46,605 --> 01:03:47,639 at the exact same time. 1434 01:03:47,672 --> 01:03:49,173 And I told you to get an IUD. 1435 01:03:49,206 --> 01:03:51,542 Stop talking to me like you're my gynecologist. 1436 01:03:51,576 --> 01:03:53,344 Why don't we get a wishbone and put it in your penis hole 1437 01:03:53,378 --> 01:03:54,780 and see how that feels? 1438 01:03:54,813 --> 01:03:56,315 - No. - Or why don't you start taking the male pill, bro. 1439 01:03:56,347 --> 01:03:57,849 It doesn't exist yet, bro. 1440 01:03:57,882 --> 01:03:59,884 Okay, well, I use a condom with anyone who's not you. 1441 01:03:59,918 --> 01:04:01,320 How can I know that? 1442 01:04:01,353 --> 01:04:03,655 Then why don't you stick a GoPro inside me. 1443 01:04:03,688 --> 01:04:05,557 Oh, but you gotta choose, IUD or GoPro, 1444 01:04:05,590 --> 01:04:06,490 which one's are gonna be? 1445 01:04:06,525 --> 01:04:07,860 For all we know, there's some girl out there 1446 01:04:07,893 --> 01:04:09,360 who's pregnant with your baby, 1447 01:04:09,393 --> 01:04:10,628 'cause you're using special needs condoms. 1448 01:04:10,661 --> 01:04:11,896 Mary, my allergy is serious. 1449 01:04:11,929 --> 01:04:14,198 It could be fatal with enough exposure. 1450 01:04:14,231 --> 01:04:17,135 It's an excuse that men use who don't wanna wear condoms. 1451 01:04:17,168 --> 01:04:17,869 You need to get tested. 1452 01:04:17,902 --> 01:04:19,770 You need to get tested, 1453 01:04:19,804 --> 01:04:21,539 and you should probably get a paternity test, too, 1454 01:04:21,572 --> 01:04:22,807 - if you're so worried about it. - I'm not doing that. 1455 01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:24,275 What do you want from me? 1456 01:04:39,356 --> 01:04:40,659 I'm just gonna do a swap for the DNA test. 1457 01:04:40,692 --> 01:04:41,793 - Okay? - Okay. 1458 01:04:41,826 --> 01:04:42,594 Open. 1459 01:04:50,802 --> 01:04:52,570 All right, and Dr. Kurtzman will be with you 1460 01:04:52,603 --> 01:04:53,571 in just a moment. 1461 01:04:53,605 --> 01:04:54,405 Okay. Thanks. 1462 01:05:02,713 --> 01:05:04,750 Oh, you're married. That's good. 1463 01:05:04,782 --> 01:05:06,282 Why is that good? 1464 01:05:06,284 --> 01:05:07,853 We don't have to do an STD swab. 1465 01:05:07,885 --> 01:05:09,454 I mean, unless you want to. 1466 01:05:09,487 --> 01:05:10,689 Sure. 1467 01:05:10,722 --> 01:05:12,824 Is that a sure yes or a sure no? 1468 01:05:12,856 --> 01:05:14,927 A sure yes. 1469 01:05:17,628 --> 01:05:19,897 Maybe don't call it a swab. 1470 01:05:19,931 --> 01:05:21,699 Doesn't sound fun. 1471 01:05:21,733 --> 01:05:23,869 I was trying to make it fun, so thank you. 1472 01:05:24,635 --> 01:05:26,871 How many sexual partners have you had? 1473 01:05:26,905 --> 01:05:28,607 What does it matter, if we're gonna do the swab anyway? 1474 01:05:28,639 --> 01:05:29,875 It's a standard question. 1475 01:05:29,907 --> 01:05:32,810 You can just give me an approximation. 1476 01:05:32,844 --> 01:05:36,715 Uh, I would rather just talk about the prenatal stuff, 1477 01:05:36,748 --> 01:05:38,383 if that's okay. 1478 01:05:38,416 --> 01:05:39,818 You're pregnant? 1479 01:05:39,851 --> 01:05:41,619 Yes. 1480 01:05:41,652 --> 01:05:43,788 Sorry, I didn't get to that part yet. 1481 01:05:45,489 --> 01:05:47,425 Oh yeah, there it is. You're pregnant. 1482 01:05:48,626 --> 01:05:50,295 All right, um. 1483 01:05:50,327 --> 01:05:51,697 Do you mind shifting to your left? 1484 01:05:52,697 --> 01:05:54,465 Nice, yeah, then the other way. 1485 01:05:56,333 --> 01:05:58,503 Lift up your shaft. 1486 01:05:59,771 --> 01:06:02,007 Now to do the hokey pokey, turn, and shout. 1487 01:06:02,039 --> 01:06:02,974 Just kidding. 1488 01:06:04,742 --> 01:06:05,876 Make your legs jello. 1489 01:06:07,311 --> 01:06:08,947 Pretend like your knees are jello. 1490 01:06:08,980 --> 01:06:09,880 I'm trying. 1491 01:06:09,914 --> 01:06:11,383 You're really not. 1492 01:06:11,416 --> 01:06:12,651 I'm sorry, it's just, 1493 01:06:12,684 --> 01:06:14,486 my mom had a burst ovarian cyst one time. 1494 01:06:14,518 --> 01:06:16,721 I am not gonna burst anything, all right. 1495 01:06:16,755 --> 01:06:17,923 Don't be afraid. Just scoot your butt on down. 1496 01:06:17,956 --> 01:06:19,291 All right. 1497 01:06:19,324 --> 01:06:21,827 More, more, more, more. 1498 01:06:22,994 --> 01:06:24,630 Jello. 1499 01:06:24,663 --> 01:06:25,630 I am jello. 1500 01:06:25,664 --> 01:06:26,698 - Jello. - Yeah, I'm jello. 1501 01:06:26,731 --> 01:06:28,400 - I am jello. - Jello, jello. 1502 01:06:28,432 --> 01:06:29,735 I am jello! 1503 01:06:29,768 --> 01:06:33,972 - Have you ever seen jello? - It's like this. 1504 01:06:34,005 --> 01:06:35,874 Jello. 1505 01:06:35,907 --> 01:06:37,643 You're not gettin' outta here 1506 01:06:37,675 --> 01:06:38,610 'til I get a piece of your cervix, so open it up. 1507 01:06:38,643 --> 01:06:39,577 Wait. 1508 01:06:39,610 --> 01:06:41,612 Come on. You're clenching. 1509 01:06:41,646 --> 01:06:43,615 It's gonna hurt more the more you clench. 1510 01:06:43,648 --> 01:06:44,983 I'm gonna put it to you like this. 1511 01:06:45,016 --> 01:06:46,885 This is how wide I'm gonna need you to be. 1512 01:06:47,985 --> 01:06:48,820 Can we get there? 1513 01:06:49,987 --> 01:06:50,955 It'll... 1514 01:07:20,485 --> 01:07:23,387 I don't wanna do this anymore. 1515 01:07:26,324 --> 01:07:28,559 You could mean a number of things at this point. 1516 01:07:30,862 --> 01:07:32,064 The open thing. 1517 01:07:34,833 --> 01:07:36,035 Well, maybe I do. 1518 01:07:37,601 --> 01:07:39,704 But you said if one of us didn't wanna do it, 1519 01:07:39,737 --> 01:07:41,373 we could go back. 1520 01:07:41,405 --> 01:07:43,574 That was the main thing for you. That was the main rule. 1521 01:07:45,409 --> 01:07:46,677 I changed my mind. 1522 01:07:46,710 --> 01:07:48,846 You can't just do that. 1523 01:07:48,880 --> 01:07:50,849 I'm supposed to know everything I might want 1524 01:07:50,882 --> 01:07:52,084 before I want it? 1525 01:07:52,117 --> 01:07:54,952 I just, I want it to be just you and me. 1526 01:07:54,985 --> 01:07:57,355 Like you said, just us again, please. 1527 01:07:59,824 --> 01:08:00,925 It's not just us, Mary. 1528 01:08:02,860 --> 01:08:04,596 It's you and me and a fucking baby. 1529 01:08:06,864 --> 01:08:09,533 Is there any part of you that actually wants to keep it? 1530 01:08:09,567 --> 01:08:10,735 Of course there is. 1531 01:08:10,768 --> 01:08:11,903 Don't say "of course" to me. 1532 01:08:13,170 --> 01:08:14,939 How can I predict anything with you 1533 01:08:14,972 --> 01:08:17,943 when you were so classically un-fucking-predictable? 1534 01:08:17,975 --> 01:08:19,077 I wanna keep it. 1535 01:08:21,912 --> 01:08:23,581 Don't you think it's weird that we're married, 1536 01:08:23,614 --> 01:08:24,548 and this was an accident? 1537 01:08:24,582 --> 01:08:25,984 I obviously think it's weird, 1538 01:08:26,016 --> 01:08:28,519 but you've trained me not to know what's up or down. 1539 01:08:29,587 --> 01:08:30,822 I don't know why. 1540 01:08:30,854 --> 01:08:33,157 I just feel like I have to keep it. 1541 01:08:33,190 --> 01:08:35,493 Something is telling me I have to. 1542 01:08:38,829 --> 01:08:41,132 You trying to bait me into being the bad guy? 1543 01:08:41,166 --> 01:08:43,467 - No. - Because I'm not gonna be the bad guy. 1544 01:08:43,501 --> 01:08:45,537 And I'm definitely not gonna be a bad father. 1545 01:08:46,837 --> 01:08:48,706 But we're not ready for this. 1546 01:08:48,739 --> 01:08:50,074 We are so far 1547 01:08:50,108 --> 01:08:51,777 - from being ready. - Okay, I get it. 1548 01:08:51,810 --> 01:08:53,678 You know, I don't even know why I bother speaking. 1549 01:08:53,711 --> 01:08:55,747 We both know you're gonna do exactly what you want, 1550 01:08:55,779 --> 01:08:56,849 regardless of how I feel. 1551 01:08:57,849 --> 01:08:58,850 How can you say that? 1552 01:08:58,882 --> 01:09:00,551 Because it's true. 1553 01:09:00,585 --> 01:09:02,887 I mean, this whole thing was your idea from the start. 1554 01:09:02,921 --> 01:09:05,157 Have you seen my arm? It says Mary. 1555 01:09:05,189 --> 01:09:06,857 Yeah, and mine says Mark. 1556 01:09:06,890 --> 01:09:10,127 Your says Mark, and some wiggly-dos, and some other shit, 1557 01:09:10,161 --> 01:09:11,797 and some shark fins. 1558 01:09:11,829 --> 01:09:13,131 Mine just says Mary. 1559 01:09:13,163 --> 01:09:14,733 Yeah, your name and my dead mom. 1560 01:09:14,765 --> 01:09:16,033 - Oh my god. - Pretty stupid. 1561 01:09:16,067 --> 01:09:17,168 You told me yourself half those were done 1562 01:09:17,202 --> 01:09:18,737 by wasted ex-boyfriends. 1563 01:09:18,770 --> 01:09:20,472 You are always twisting the narrative! 1564 01:09:30,047 --> 01:09:32,483 When did you decide that you hated me this much? 1565 01:09:48,800 --> 01:09:49,935 One, two, three, four. 1566 01:10:10,688 --> 01:10:12,524 ♪ You tell me ♪ 1567 01:10:12,556 --> 01:10:14,960 ♪ Baby, baby, you should smile more, honey ♪ 1568 01:10:14,993 --> 01:10:17,729 ♪ 'Cause you've got a face like a Playboy Bunny ♪ 1569 01:10:17,761 --> 01:10:19,965 ♪ Well, this is gonna hurt you more than ♪ 1570 01:10:19,997 --> 01:10:21,599 Don't stop, pussies! 1571 01:10:21,632 --> 01:10:23,167 ♪ Me ♪ 1572 01:10:23,201 --> 01:10:25,604 ♪ I didn't come, I didn't come, I didn't come ♪ 1573 01:10:25,636 --> 01:10:28,672 ♪ Come here for you, come here for you ♪ 1574 01:10:28,706 --> 01:10:31,009 ♪ I didn't come, I didn't come, I didn't come ♪ 1575 01:10:31,042 --> 01:10:35,847 ♪ Come here for you, come here for you ♪ 1576 01:10:35,880 --> 01:10:37,181 Here. 1577 01:10:37,215 --> 01:10:38,884 What is going on? 1578 01:10:40,118 --> 01:10:41,553 What's wrong? 1579 01:10:48,960 --> 01:10:49,795 Fuck. 1580 01:10:51,162 --> 01:10:52,097 Hello, this is Lisa 1581 01:10:52,130 --> 01:10:53,832 from the North Hollywood Public Health Center. 1582 01:10:53,864 --> 01:10:55,300 We have your test results. 1583 01:10:55,332 --> 01:10:57,969 Please return at 818- 1584 01:10:58,002 --> 01:10:58,804 What results? 1585 01:11:01,038 --> 01:11:02,541 Mary, if they're calling you about it, 1586 01:11:02,573 --> 01:11:04,808 then you probably have whatever it is. 1587 01:11:04,841 --> 01:11:05,877 Thanks, Lana. 1588 01:11:12,050 --> 01:11:13,217 Holy fuck. 1589 01:11:15,118 --> 01:11:17,655 Dude, does that mean that I would have an STD, too? 1590 01:11:20,158 --> 01:11:21,793 Oh my god, dudes. 1591 01:11:27,664 --> 01:11:29,067 I can't believe that you just said that. 1592 01:11:29,100 --> 01:11:30,835 No, if I have an STD 1593 01:11:30,868 --> 01:11:32,003 - right now- - Yeah, no. 1594 01:11:32,036 --> 01:11:33,672 I'm literally gonna kill myself. 1595 01:11:37,942 --> 01:11:40,145 So you're gonna have a mystery baby. 1596 01:11:42,947 --> 01:11:43,981 It's gonna cry a lot. 1597 01:11:45,315 --> 01:11:47,019 And it's gonna poop a lot. 1598 01:11:47,685 --> 01:11:48,752 Which means you're gonna have to buy 1599 01:11:48,786 --> 01:11:49,921 a lot of diapers. 1600 01:11:49,953 --> 01:11:51,655 Which means a lot of money. 1601 01:11:51,689 --> 01:11:53,091 You're gonna have to get babysitters, 1602 01:11:53,123 --> 01:11:54,658 which actually could be dope, 1603 01:11:54,692 --> 01:11:56,094 could be some hot babysitters. 1604 01:11:56,127 --> 01:11:57,162 But it's also a lot of money. 1605 01:11:57,194 --> 01:11:58,029 Okay, I got it. 1606 01:12:01,832 --> 01:12:02,967 I'll babysit if you want. 1607 01:12:03,001 --> 01:12:06,038 Don't offer that yet. 1608 01:12:06,738 --> 01:12:09,173 You wait until he's desperate, and you need something. 1609 01:12:09,207 --> 01:12:10,307 What's wrong with you? 1610 01:12:10,341 --> 01:12:12,177 Just think ahead, dude. 1611 01:12:12,210 --> 01:12:13,877 Think, hey, hey, hey. 1612 01:12:13,911 --> 01:12:14,779 Hey. 1613 01:12:14,811 --> 01:12:15,680 No. 1614 01:12:15,712 --> 01:12:16,280 Oh fuck. 1615 01:12:21,918 --> 01:12:23,787 Hey, hey, no, no, no, no. 1616 01:12:23,820 --> 01:12:25,390 - We love you, man. - We love you. 1617 01:12:25,422 --> 01:12:26,957 - A lot. - A lot. 1618 01:12:26,990 --> 01:12:31,095 Like, whatever you need, to a reasonable point- 1619 01:12:32,764 --> 01:12:33,699 Oh. 1620 01:12:36,434 --> 01:12:37,369 Is it Mary? 1621 01:12:37,402 --> 01:12:38,837 Is it? Put it on speaker. 1622 01:12:38,869 --> 01:12:39,837 Dude, shut up. 1623 01:12:39,871 --> 01:12:41,038 - We're in it. - Just... 1624 01:12:41,072 --> 01:12:42,207 Hello? Just give me a second. 1625 01:12:46,677 --> 01:12:47,979 You're gonna babysit? 1626 01:12:48,011 --> 01:12:49,046 No, of course I don't wanna babysit. 1627 01:12:49,079 --> 01:12:51,048 Well, what the fuck, man? 1628 01:12:51,082 --> 01:12:53,251 You better hope he's high enough to forget that. 1629 01:12:53,283 --> 01:12:54,885 Do you wanna be "Two and a Half Men"? 1630 01:12:57,020 --> 01:12:57,988 No. 1631 01:12:58,021 --> 01:12:59,823 Fuck. 1632 01:12:59,856 --> 01:13:01,059 I'm having a panic attack. 1633 01:13:01,091 --> 01:13:05,229 This is why it's good to be bi, you know? 1634 01:13:05,262 --> 01:13:07,698 You can just stick with dudes and- 1635 01:13:07,731 --> 01:13:09,234 - Stick with just 1636 01:13:09,266 --> 01:13:11,068 - men exclusively? - Just men, exclusively. 1637 01:13:11,101 --> 01:13:12,136 Okay, well that's just gay. 1638 01:13:12,170 --> 01:13:14,373 Yeah, maybe I'm gay. 1639 01:13:15,939 --> 01:13:17,174 Am I gonna hit that, 1640 01:13:17,207 --> 01:13:18,242 or are you just gonna fuckin' sit with it? 1641 01:13:21,979 --> 01:13:23,114 North Hollywood Public Health Center, 1642 01:13:23,146 --> 01:13:24,948 this is Lisa speaking. 1643 01:13:24,981 --> 01:13:26,784 Hi, this is Mary Lewis. I just missed your call. 1644 01:13:26,818 --> 01:13:27,452 Please hold. 1645 01:13:35,225 --> 01:13:37,394 Suffering from a dry or itchy vagina? 1646 01:13:37,427 --> 01:13:39,130 - Are you fucking kidding me? - It may be a syndrome 1647 01:13:39,162 --> 01:13:42,166 called menopause vaginal dryness. 1648 01:13:42,199 --> 01:13:44,402 A lubricant might be for you. 1649 01:13:44,435 --> 01:13:48,972 Try our All Natural Wild Yam Vaginal Moisturizing Gel today, 1650 01:13:49,006 --> 01:13:52,210 currently available in 1.5 to 3 ounces. 1651 01:13:53,110 --> 01:13:53,944 Oh fuck. 1652 01:13:55,846 --> 01:13:57,148 Hello? Are you there? 1653 01:13:57,180 --> 01:13:58,782 Yeah, yeah. 1654 01:13:58,815 --> 01:14:00,818 The results of your paternity test are back. 1655 01:14:13,430 --> 01:14:15,733 Thank you for your patience. 1656 01:14:15,766 --> 01:14:20,104 So your results are back, and they're positive for, uh, 1657 01:14:21,238 --> 01:14:22,506 oh, for HPV. 1658 01:14:22,539 --> 01:14:23,307 Fuck. 1659 01:14:25,909 --> 01:14:27,211 I'm sorry. 1660 01:14:27,244 --> 01:14:28,880 Oh, no, it's fine. I hear it all the time. 1661 01:14:29,913 --> 01:14:33,016 Can you tell me if it's the good kind or the bad kind? 1662 01:14:33,050 --> 01:14:36,020 Or not, not, not the good... 1663 01:14:36,052 --> 01:14:39,224 Can you, can you tell me if it's the cancer kind 1664 01:14:39,256 --> 01:14:41,425 or the not-cancer kind, please? 1665 01:14:41,458 --> 01:14:43,862 Mm, you're gonna have to schedule follow-up 1666 01:14:43,895 --> 01:14:45,029 with Dr. Jacobs. 1667 01:14:45,061 --> 01:14:46,229 Okay, but if it was the bad kind, 1668 01:14:46,262 --> 01:14:48,867 I would have symptoms, right? I don't have any symptoms. 1669 01:14:48,899 --> 01:14:50,400 Yeah, I can't answer these questions for you. 1670 01:14:50,434 --> 01:14:51,836 You're gonna have to come in. 1671 01:14:51,868 --> 01:14:53,537 So would you like to set up an appointment? 1672 01:14:53,570 --> 01:14:56,408 How is, uh, how's Wednesday? 1673 01:14:58,176 --> 01:14:59,010 Hello? 1674 01:15:00,144 --> 01:15:00,979 Hello? 1675 01:15:05,550 --> 01:15:07,217 You want a drink? 1676 01:15:07,251 --> 01:15:08,186 Probably shouldn't. 1677 01:15:09,287 --> 01:15:10,922 Oh, right. 1678 01:15:11,756 --> 01:15:17,295 Hey, I wanted to say I'm sorry for my part in all this. 1679 01:15:17,328 --> 01:15:21,132 And I shouldn't have suggested that I wasn't in father. 1680 01:15:21,164 --> 01:15:22,167 I got the call. 1681 01:15:23,868 --> 01:15:24,970 It's fine. 1682 01:15:25,670 --> 01:15:27,204 And I probably shouldn't have suggested 1683 01:15:27,238 --> 01:15:29,775 that we don't keep the baby. 1684 01:15:31,509 --> 01:15:32,444 It's okay. 1685 01:15:33,511 --> 01:15:34,946 If we're gonna do this, 1686 01:15:34,979 --> 01:15:36,414 we're gonna need to get more permanent jobs, 1687 01:15:36,447 --> 01:15:38,382 and we're gonna need to sell some stuff 1688 01:15:38,416 --> 01:15:40,985 and really just save up everything we can. 1689 01:15:45,122 --> 01:15:46,490 You're not saying anything. 1690 01:15:51,863 --> 01:15:54,199 I have HPV. 1691 01:15:55,265 --> 01:15:56,433 What? 1692 01:15:56,466 --> 01:15:57,935 I'm sure it's nothing, I just... 1693 01:15:57,969 --> 01:15:59,304 I didn't want to sit here with you, 1694 01:15:59,337 --> 01:16:01,206 and you look so pretty and candle-lit, 1695 01:16:01,238 --> 01:16:03,040 and, like, lie to you or something, 1696 01:16:03,073 --> 01:16:05,342 or not lie, but, like, withhold. 1697 01:16:05,376 --> 01:16:07,244 So you probably gave me an STD? 1698 01:16:07,278 --> 01:16:09,146 Can you lower your volume? 1699 01:16:09,180 --> 01:16:10,849 I thought you got Gardasil. 1700 01:16:10,881 --> 01:16:13,483 I did, a long time ago, and my insurance didn't cover it, 1701 01:16:13,516 --> 01:16:14,586 and you have to get three rounds, 1702 01:16:14,618 --> 01:16:16,086 so after the first round, I just... 1703 01:16:17,654 --> 01:16:20,090 You could've given it to me. These things are silent. 1704 01:16:20,123 --> 01:16:21,358 Yeah, silent killers. 1705 01:16:21,391 --> 01:16:22,993 I don't even know what it means yet. 1706 01:16:23,027 --> 01:16:24,295 Oh god, I'm already itchy. 1707 01:16:24,328 --> 01:16:26,531 Oh my god, by the way, 1708 01:16:26,564 --> 01:16:28,466 there isn't even an HPV test for men. 1709 01:16:28,498 --> 01:16:30,335 So you could have been born with it, 1710 01:16:30,368 --> 01:16:32,036 or it's been dormant this whole time, 1711 01:16:32,069 --> 01:16:33,504 and this isn't even a big deal. 1712 01:16:33,537 --> 01:16:35,506 It's not automatically me. 1713 01:16:35,538 --> 01:16:37,207 Learn to fuckin' deal with things. 1714 01:16:37,240 --> 01:16:38,408 Says the girl still in a band. 1715 01:16:38,442 --> 01:16:39,409 We need therapy. 1716 01:16:39,443 --> 01:16:41,046 We can't afford therapy. 1717 01:16:52,555 --> 01:16:53,424 Mm-hmm. 1718 01:16:54,692 --> 01:16:55,594 Yep, takeout. 1719 01:17:01,631 --> 01:17:04,167 Learning Spanish is easy. 1720 01:17:04,201 --> 01:17:07,038 Once you understand conjugation, you're well on your way. 1721 01:17:07,304 --> 01:17:08,539 Sí se puede. 1722 01:17:16,646 --> 01:17:18,382 How should we list them for? 1723 01:17:18,416 --> 01:17:19,484 How much does a crib cost? 1724 01:17:34,332 --> 01:17:35,166 Hey. 1725 01:17:36,199 --> 01:17:37,167 You're far away. 1726 01:17:41,439 --> 01:17:44,175 Your toenails are super sharp. 1727 01:17:45,609 --> 01:17:47,245 I meant emotionally. 1728 01:17:47,278 --> 01:17:50,615 No, I know, but they're really sharp, and I can feel it. 1729 01:17:52,149 --> 01:17:53,351 But I cut them last week. 1730 01:17:54,719 --> 01:17:55,619 I don't know what to tell you. 1731 01:17:55,653 --> 01:17:56,554 They're super fast-growing. 1732 01:17:56,587 --> 01:17:59,057 They're not that bad. 1733 01:17:59,090 --> 01:18:01,125 Yes, they are. They're like little steak knives. 1734 01:18:01,158 --> 01:18:02,293 That's extreme. 1735 01:18:02,326 --> 01:18:04,162 They're like serrated, 1736 01:18:04,194 --> 01:18:06,663 and they cut my legs in the night when I'm sleeping. 1737 01:18:06,697 --> 01:18:08,099 My legs are afraid. 1738 01:18:32,722 --> 01:18:35,060 This is sweet. I love it. 1739 01:18:38,261 --> 01:18:39,429 Are you gonna look at my presents now? 1740 01:18:39,462 --> 01:18:40,398 - Yes, okay. - Open hers. 1741 01:18:40,430 --> 01:18:41,498 Is it? 1742 01:18:41,532 --> 01:18:42,300 No, no, no. 1743 01:18:43,567 --> 01:18:45,136 I have an outie. 1744 01:19:39,556 --> 01:19:44,161 ♪ I heard about being young ♪ 1745 01:19:44,194 --> 01:19:48,698 ♪ But I'm not sure how it's done ♪ 1746 01:19:48,731 --> 01:19:53,403 ♪ Thought I heard a mumble ♪ 1747 01:19:53,436 --> 01:19:58,309 ♪ Somethin' about fun ♪ 1748 01:19:59,577 --> 01:20:01,311 ♪ Fun ♪ 1749 01:20:04,515 --> 01:20:08,552 ♪ Easy for you to say, I say ♪ 1750 01:20:08,586 --> 01:20:13,524 ♪ I say this to you every day ♪ 1751 01:20:13,556 --> 01:20:17,461 ♪ Easy for you to say ♪ 1752 01:20:17,494 --> 01:20:21,798 ♪ The sky is a special orange streak ♪ 1753 01:20:21,832 --> 01:20:25,536 ♪ Between balloons, two moons ♪ 1754 01:20:25,569 --> 01:20:30,575 ♪ A leak of light in a blue town like this ♪ 1755 01:20:31,341 --> 01:20:35,812 ♪ The clouds are you, the sky a kiss ♪ 1756 01:20:35,845 --> 01:20:40,617 ♪ That never shows or comes, oh what ♪ 1757 01:20:40,650 --> 01:20:44,889 ♪ A waste sits in the parking lot ♪ 1758 01:20:44,921 --> 01:20:49,126 ♪ I just wanna be alive, that's it ♪ 1759 01:20:57,167 --> 01:21:01,671 ♪ Alive ♪ 1760 01:21:01,704 --> 01:21:04,442 ♪ Alive ♪ 1761 01:21:10,480 --> 01:21:13,885 ♪ I think about you and cry ♪ 1762 01:21:13,917 --> 01:21:16,353 ♪ All alone ♪ 1763 01:21:16,386 --> 01:21:19,256 ♪ Stolen like candy ♪ 1764 01:21:20,658 --> 01:21:21,326 ♪ What's the point of ♪ 1765 01:21:21,359 --> 01:21:25,196 ♪ Fakin' it, this big talk ♪ 1766 01:21:26,063 --> 01:21:31,336 ♪ Oh, a drink in my hand ain't the only life I wanna know ♪ 1767 01:21:31,969 --> 01:21:33,304 ♪ Is it wrong ♪ 1768 01:21:38,242 --> 01:21:40,878 So whose responsibility is it 1769 01:21:40,911 --> 01:21:43,948 to make this not so weird? 1770 01:21:45,783 --> 01:21:46,884 I think that's on you two. 1771 01:21:48,351 --> 01:21:50,188 I'm just gonna fold and unfold my napkin 1772 01:21:50,220 --> 01:21:52,289 until somebody says my name. 1773 01:21:53,823 --> 01:21:55,859 That's really funny. 1774 01:21:56,292 --> 01:21:59,329 So, Mary, what do you do, like for work? 1775 01:21:59,363 --> 01:22:00,264 I'm a waitress. 1776 01:22:00,296 --> 01:22:01,798 And a wonderful singer. 1777 01:22:01,832 --> 01:22:02,867 An average singer. 1778 01:22:02,899 --> 01:22:03,967 She has a beautiful voice. 1779 01:22:04,001 --> 01:22:04,936 That's generous. 1780 01:22:04,969 --> 01:22:06,436 It literally makes me cry. 1781 01:22:07,871 --> 01:22:09,407 Wow. 1782 01:22:09,439 --> 01:22:11,641 We're actually workin' on a project together, 1783 01:22:11,675 --> 01:22:13,543 but I had a little hand injury. 1784 01:22:13,577 --> 01:22:15,947 I was a guitar player, and I was cleaning a wine glass, 1785 01:22:15,979 --> 01:22:18,982 and it completely shattered in my hand. 1786 01:22:19,015 --> 01:22:22,819 Uh, four surgeries later, I'm kind of stuck here. 1787 01:22:22,853 --> 01:22:23,721 I mean, you really can't open it. 1788 01:22:23,753 --> 01:22:26,623 Here, give it a shot. Try to open it. 1789 01:22:26,657 --> 01:22:28,326 Come on, Mark. Come on, Mark. 1790 01:22:28,359 --> 01:22:29,360 Come on. 1791 01:22:29,393 --> 01:22:30,328 Oh! 1792 01:22:31,761 --> 01:22:33,730 Oh yeah, it'll sneak up on you, just like that. 1793 01:22:33,764 --> 01:22:34,765 - Wow. - That's really weird. 1794 01:22:34,797 --> 01:22:35,966 - Yeah, yeah. - Four surgeries, 1795 01:22:36,000 --> 01:22:37,368 and that's what they did? 1796 01:22:38,868 --> 01:22:40,704 Yeah, that's it, that was... Yeah. 1797 01:22:40,738 --> 01:22:41,972 That's it? Are they done? 1798 01:22:42,006 --> 01:22:43,641 I like that finger. It's my favorite one. 1799 01:22:44,041 --> 01:22:44,976 Yeah. 1800 01:22:46,577 --> 01:22:49,579 So, uh, Mark, what do you do? 1801 01:22:49,613 --> 01:22:52,750 I'm just splittin' my time between here and Ventura. 1802 01:22:52,783 --> 01:22:55,019 Yeah, I work with my dad's plastics company, 1803 01:22:55,051 --> 01:22:55,987 Make-It Manufacturing. 1804 01:22:56,886 --> 01:22:57,755 Cool. 1805 01:22:58,956 --> 01:23:00,824 Uh, so what do you guys make? 1806 01:23:02,926 --> 01:23:04,629 Uh, plastic? 1807 01:23:04,662 --> 01:23:05,496 Hmm. 1808 01:23:07,497 --> 01:23:08,965 Well, the ocean, I guess, huh? 1809 01:23:12,403 --> 01:23:13,436 Yeah, that's good. 1810 01:23:13,470 --> 01:23:14,739 Yeah, you know. Yeah. 1811 01:23:14,771 --> 01:23:16,740 He's kidding. 1812 01:23:16,774 --> 01:23:18,576 No, we feel bad about that, but- 1813 01:23:18,609 --> 01:23:20,511 - I mean, you kind of need plastic. 1814 01:23:21,944 --> 01:23:23,380 Still. 1815 01:23:23,413 --> 01:23:25,448 Uh, you guys hungry? 1816 01:23:25,481 --> 01:23:27,784 Yeah, I was gonna get the BLT. 1817 01:23:27,818 --> 01:23:29,887 - The BLT, mm, bacon. - Hmm. 1818 01:23:29,920 --> 01:23:31,855 You gotta worry about that factory farming, though, right? 1819 01:23:31,889 --> 01:23:34,792 That has a huge footprint as well, so, poor little piggies. 1820 01:23:34,824 --> 01:23:35,792 Touché, man. 1821 01:23:48,072 --> 01:23:49,407 Well... 1822 01:24:01,819 --> 01:24:06,724 ♪ You and me, always, forever ♪ 1823 01:24:07,224 --> 01:24:12,697 ♪ We could stay alone together ♪ 1824 01:24:13,329 --> 01:24:18,735 ♪ You and me, always, forever ♪ 1825 01:24:19,336 --> 01:24:23,574 ♪ Say you'll stay, never be severed ♪ 1826 01:24:31,081 --> 01:24:36,054 ♪ You and me, always, forever ♪ 1827 01:24:36,987 --> 01:24:42,025 ♪ We can stay alone together ♪ 1828 01:24:42,760 --> 01:24:46,998 ♪ Darlin', don't get away right now ♪ 1829 01:24:54,771 --> 01:24:59,844 ♪ You know you've got me in your pocket ♪ 1830 01:25:00,109 --> 01:25:05,515 ♪ Just come here, and we can settle down ♪ 1831 01:25:05,882 --> 01:25:10,587 ♪ Oh darling, it's alarming ♪ 1832 01:25:10,820 --> 01:25:15,626 ♪ To think of us apart ♪ 1833 01:25:18,194 --> 01:25:23,367 ♪ You know you've got me in your pocket ♪ 1834 01:25:24,034 --> 01:25:29,072 ♪ You don't just have to wait around ♪ 1835 01:25:29,773 --> 01:25:34,945 ♪ You know I keep you in my locket ♪ 1836 01:25:35,613 --> 01:25:40,685 ♪ Just come here, and we can settle down ♪ 1837 01:25:41,318 --> 01:25:46,623 ♪ You and me, always, forever ♪ 1838 01:25:47,724 --> 01:25:52,497 ♪ We could stay alone together ♪ 1839 01:25:53,596 --> 01:25:58,168 ♪ You and me, always, forever ♪ 1840 01:25:59,470 --> 01:26:03,975 ♪ We could stay alone together ♪ 1841 01:26:05,074 --> 01:26:09,846 ♪ You and me, always, forever ♪ 1842 01:26:10,948 --> 01:26:15,753 ♪ We could stay alone together ♪ 1843 01:26:16,987 --> 01:26:19,757 ♪ You and me ♪ 1844 01:26:19,789 --> 01:26:20,858 - So- - Should we- 1845 01:26:20,890 --> 01:26:21,958 - Go ahead, go ahead. 1846 01:26:21,992 --> 01:26:22,860 No, no, what were you gonna say? 1847 01:26:22,893 --> 01:26:24,962 I, uh, are we gonna do this now or- 1848 01:26:24,994 --> 01:26:25,996 - Well- 1849 01:26:26,029 --> 01:26:27,432 - You want a shot or somethin'? 1850 01:26:29,600 --> 01:26:30,601 Okay. 1851 01:26:30,634 --> 01:26:31,536 - Okay. - All right. 1852 01:26:32,802 --> 01:26:34,939 - So, um, maybe. - Yeah. 1853 01:26:34,971 --> 01:26:36,039 - Both of you guys. - Are y'all gonna, 1854 01:26:36,073 --> 01:26:37,074 and then I- 1855 01:26:37,106 --> 01:26:37,908 - Yeah. - That's brilliant. 1856 01:26:37,940 --> 01:26:38,708 - Uh-huh. - Mm-hmm. 1857 01:26:38,742 --> 01:26:39,710 - Uh. - Okay. 1858 01:26:43,947 --> 01:26:44,981 - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 1859 01:26:45,015 --> 01:26:45,750 Mm-hmm. 1860 01:26:47,951 --> 01:26:50,054 Ah yes. 1861 01:26:50,386 --> 01:26:52,922 ♪ We're hell raisers ♪ 1862 01:26:52,956 --> 01:26:55,592 ♪ Death wish cravers ♪ 1863 01:26:55,626 --> 01:27:00,030 ♪ We're runnin' with razor blades ♪ 1864 01:27:00,063 --> 01:27:04,902 ♪ Party favors, sex with strangers ♪ 1865 01:27:04,935 --> 01:27:09,707 ♪ We don't care what the neighbors say ♪ 1866 01:27:09,739 --> 01:27:13,710 ♪ If this is how it's gonna end ♪ 1867 01:27:13,743 --> 01:27:16,746 ♪ 'Cause it feels all right ♪ 1868 01:27:16,779 --> 01:27:19,015 ♪ Baby, let's get sick again ♪ 1869 01:27:23,587 --> 01:27:28,158 ♪ I'm crawlin' of the dead man's bed ♪ 1870 01:27:28,190 --> 01:27:30,594 ♪ Well, we don't wanna know ♪ 1871 01:27:30,627 --> 01:27:32,963 ♪ Well, we don't wanna know ♪ 1872 01:27:32,996 --> 01:27:37,667 ♪ I'm killin' myself just to live ♪ 1873 01:27:37,701 --> 01:27:40,069 ♪ Well, we don't wanna go ♪ 1874 01:27:40,103 --> 01:27:42,706 ♪ Well, we don't wanna go ♪ 1875 01:27:42,738 --> 01:27:44,974 ♪ We're hell raisers ♪ 1876 01:27:45,007 --> 01:27:47,545 ♪ Death wish cravers ♪ 1877 01:27:47,578 --> 01:27:52,016 ♪ We're runnin' with razor blades ♪ 1878 01:27:52,048 --> 01:27:57,054 ♪ Party favors, sex with strangers ♪ 1879 01:27:57,087 --> 01:28:01,759 ♪ We don't care what the neighbors say ♪ 1880 01:28:02,960 --> 01:28:05,762 ♪ If this is how it's gonna end ♪ 1881 01:28:05,796 --> 01:28:08,666 ♪ 'Cause it feels all right ♪ 1882 01:28:08,698 --> 01:28:11,167 ♪ Baby, let's get sick again ♪ 1883 01:28:46,036 --> 01:28:48,005 ♪ We're hell raisers ♪ 1884 01:28:48,037 --> 01:28:50,607 ♪ Death wish cravers ♪ 1885 01:28:50,640 --> 01:28:55,211 ♪ We're runnin' with razor blades ♪ 1886 01:28:55,244 --> 01:29:00,149 ♪ Party favors, sex with strangers ♪ 1887 01:29:00,182 --> 01:29:04,854 ♪ We don't care what the neighbors say ♪ 1888 01:29:06,122 --> 01:29:08,958 ♪ If this is how it's gonna end ♪ 1889 01:29:08,992 --> 01:29:11,929 ♪ 'Cause it feels all right ♪ 1890 01:29:11,962 --> 01:29:16,100 ♪ Baby, let's get sick again ♪ 1891 01:29:16,132 --> 01:29:17,867 There we go. 1892 01:29:17,922 --> 01:29:19,281 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 128402