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♪ theme song playing ♪
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♪ It's time for Animaniacs! ♪
3
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:22,440
♪ And we're zany to the max ♪
4
00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:24,439
♪ So just sit back and relax ♪
5
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:25,941
♪ You'll laugh till you collapse ♪
6
00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:28,573
♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪
7
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:31,740
♪ Come join the Warner Brothers ♪
♪ And the Warner Sister Dot ♪
8
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,700
♪ Just for fun, we run around
the Warner movie lot ♪
9
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,331
♪ They lock us in the tower
whenever we get caught ♪
10
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:40,289
♪ But we break loose and then vamoose
and now you know the plot ♪
11
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:42,840
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
12
00:00:42,835 --> 00:00:45,745
♪ Dot has wit and Yakko yaks ♪
13
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,054
♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪
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♪ Our careers have made comebacks ♪
15
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:51,589
♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪
16
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:54,643
♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain
who want to rule the universe ♪
17
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:57,388
♪ A brand new cast who tested well
in focus group research ♪
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00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,141
♪ Gender balanced, pronoun neutral ♪
19
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,982
♪ And ethnically diverse ♪
20
00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:03,398
♪ The trolls will say we're so passé,
but we did meta first ♪
21
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,897
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
22
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,989
♪ You should see our new contracts ♪
23
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:11,986
♪ We're zany to the max,
there's baloney in our slacks ♪
24
00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:14,949
♪ We're animaney, totally insaney ♪
25
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,540
♪ Definitely not Bruce Wayney ♪
26
00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:20,075
♪ Animaniacs! Those are the facts ♪
27
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♪
28
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UPTIGHT ANNOUNCER: Hey, kids! Look up from
your brainwrecking devices for a sec!
29
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It's time for What Is That?
With the Warners.
30
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[tire screech]
What is that?
31
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[sniffing]
32
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Looks like a flying saucer to me.
33
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,479
Maybe an upside down wok?
34
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:43,805
UPTIGHT ANNOUNCER:
Nope! It's a "hang"!
35
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A hang is a 12toned metal
percussion instrument
36
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from Switzerland!
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Weird name.
38
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I like "bang" better.
I'm calling it a bang.
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Ooh! If you put two of them together,
you could call it a bang bang!
40
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UPTIGHT ANNOUNCER:
Nope! It's a hang! Not a bang,
41
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and definitely not a bang bang.
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Ow! You got me!
43
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Let me ask you a personal
question, Announcer.
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Can you hang your bang in a bang hang?
UPTIGHT ANNOUNCER: Nope!
45
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And if it crashes to
the ground and you call me,
46
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then would you be a man who
rang about a hang bang clang?
47
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UPTIGHT ANNOUNCER:
No. I would never call you
48
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about a hang bang clang.
49
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So, you admit it! It is a bang!
50
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,683
Can you use it to call a flying saucer?
51
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UPTIGHT ANNOUNCER: This segment was
only supposed to be 15 seconds long!
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It's a hang, and that's final!
53
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[Dot screaming, grunts]
54
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What the heck is that? Is that an alien?
55
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I have to rethink everything I know!
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[screaming]
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♪ hang vibrates ♪
58
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[birds chirping]
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♪ music continues ♪
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[grunts, retches]
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It was hot in there.
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[gasps] At least you got to breathe
through the eye holes!
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♪
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Hey, buddy, sketch is over.
We already did the alien thing.
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Ouch!
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That's my nutritional intake orifice!
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[screaming]
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♪
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[beeping]
I have acquired the bang.
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[zapping]
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♪
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[thunder]
73
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♪ Pinky and the Brain theme song ♪
74
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Gee, Brain, what do
you wanna do tonight?
75
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The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
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Try to take over the world!
[thunder]
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♪
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♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪
79
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♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪
80
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♪ One is a genius,
the other's insane ♪
81
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♪ They're laboratory mice ♪
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♪ Their genes have been spliced ♪
83
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♪ They're dinky,
they're Pinky and the Brain ♪
84
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♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪
85
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:08,787
♪
86
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,542
[basketball buzzer]
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ANNOUNCER [TV]:
And with just six seconds on the clock,
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I don't see how Fluke
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00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,551
can close this gap.
90
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,839
Egad. You're watching sports?
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00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:23,063
"Who are you, and what have
you done with the real Brain?"
92
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Narf! [laughs]
93
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Seriously though, Brain. Is that you?
94
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You've replaced yourself
with clones so many times,
95
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I can't tell. [grunts]
BRAIN: Quiet, Pinky,
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you purulent protoplasmic peon.
97
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,153
It is you!
98
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:36,439
I must hear the score.
99
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,783
But I thought you
hated bouncyball, Brain.
100
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[grunts]
101
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If you mean basketball, I do hate it.
102
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,124
Watching humans drop orbs into netting
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is scarcely my idea of entertainment.
104
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I'm in no way emotionally
invested in this pitiful
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[whistle blows]
Oh, how is that a foul?!
106
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,458
The force behind that errant contact
107
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,300
could be measured in micronewtons!
108
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,505
ANNOUNCER [TV]:
And if Allen can sink this free throw,
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00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,966
Fluke University will steal
110
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the unlikeliest of victories!
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♪
112
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And... it's good!
[buzzer]
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[crowd cheering]
Fluke wins 7372!
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Ah! A surprising outcome!
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II suppose I can see how the masses
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might find this dribble drivel amusing.
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7372,
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Fluke University. 7372,
119
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Fluke University.
120
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,871
Okay, I'm ready.
121
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Ooh! What do you got there, Brain?
122
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Behold, Pinky.
123
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The Reverse Entropy Waveform
Inverter Neutrino Dilator.
124
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I call it the REWIND!
125
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,967
[gasps] You made your own smartphone?
126
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Oh, it's brilliant, Brain!
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So smooth and sleek and shiny and
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Oh no!
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No headphone jack?
When will you tech giants
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start listening to what us
consumers actually want?
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This isn't some glorified
wireless telegraph, Pinky.
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00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:05,239
This device controls the very
flow of time's arrow.
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00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:09,120
Push of a button, I will be able to
travel precisely two hours into the past!
134
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:12,749
Just long enough to accurately
forecast the outcome
135
00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,368
of a basketball game.
136
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[Pinky humming]
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Hm?
Sorry, Brain. I didn't get a word of that.
138
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Brain use button,
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00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,096
win big at bouncyball.
140
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,056
Well, why didn't you just say so?
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00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:32,637
Through a series of precise
score predictions
142
00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:34,063
on the May Mania tournament,
143
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I calculate that I'll be able to turn
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00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:39,323
this 17 cents of loose change
I found in the lab into...
145
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no less than one trillion dollars!
146
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Egad, Brain!
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That's enough for me to pay
off my student loan debts!
148
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:49,618
But you never went to college.
149
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:50,788
Exactly!
150
00:06:50,786 --> 00:06:52,866
Why do you think I'm so bad with money?
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Never mind that, Pinky.
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We're going to use the money
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to buy a Pacific island,
154
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:04,676
on which we will build
a lair inside a live volcano!
155
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:07,135
Every super villain needs one!
156
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,505
Just like Dr. No!
Dr. Who?
157
00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:11,433
No, Dr. No.
Who's a doctor?
158
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Yes.
Dr. Yes?
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00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:15,228
No!
Oh! Dr. No!
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00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:16,727
Yes!
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I don't get it.
[Brain sighs]
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ANNOUNCER [TV]:
And with just six seconds on the clock,
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I don't see how Fluke can close
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this gap!
You're watching sports?
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Who are you and what have...
I done with the real Brain.
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Very clever, Pinky, you purulent,
protoplasmic peon.
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Narf! How do you keep
coming up with new ones?
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ANNOUNCER [TV]:
And if Allen can sink this free throw,
169
00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,746
Fluke University will steal
170
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,264
the unlikeliest of victories!
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♪
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And... it's good!
[buzzer]
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[crowd cheering]
Fluke wins,
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7372!
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[laughs] It works, Pinky!
176
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It works!
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[beeping]
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[kiss]
Ooh! What do you got there, Brain?
179
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[grunts]
180
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:09,315
ANNOUNCER [TV]: Fluke dominates
their second round match up,
181
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,743
9678.
[crowd cheering]
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00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,700
[beeping]
183
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,701
Ooh! What do you got there, Brain?
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00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:17,915
♪
185
00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:19,205
[buzzer, cheering]
186
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,379
[beeping]
187
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Ooh! What do you got there, Brain?
188
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:29,091
♪ Whoa, whoa ♪
189
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,512
[beeping]
190
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:33,061
Ooh! What do you got there
191
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:38,102
♪ Whoa ♪
192
00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:40,021
Ooh! What do you got the
193
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:40,940
[boom]
194
00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:43,903
Ooh! What you got there?
195
00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:46,440
♪ Whoa ♪
196
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,113
Ooh!
[Brain growls]
197
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:50,571
Ask me that one more time,
198
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,872
and I will go back to
before your conception
199
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,326
and prevent your parents meetcute!
200
00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,413
This is it, Pinky.
201
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,424
Williams makes this play, and our plan
202
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,996
comes to fruition! Gesundheit, by the way.
203
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,712
[sneezes]
204
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,712
Who's Williams?
ANNOUNCER [TV]: Lamarche shoots,
205
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,264
and...
206
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:11,508
misses!
[buzzer]
207
00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:13,720
Gorgonzola wins!
208
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,600
Excuse me, who shoots?
209
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:18,017
And it's what?
And doesn't Fluke wear blue?
210
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:20,726
Pinky, this is all wrong!
PINKY: Oh?
211
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:23,057
[speaking German]
212
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,323
♪
213
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:26,685
[screams]
214
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:28,897
ANNOUNCER [TV]:
With the fate of planet Earth
215
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,032
on the line, this promises to be
216
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:33,199
an incredible game of Space Spheres!
217
00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:37,326
One wonders if these rips in
the spacetime continuum will harm
218
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:40,617
the chances of
a Smargadine Smorgenflecks victory!
219
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:44,082
Rips in the spacetime
continuum? That's it!
220
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,254
Pinky, are you pondering
what I'm pondering?
221
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,923
I believe so, Brain.
222
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:51,471
Your device must be disrupting
the very fabric of the universe,
223
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:54,846
creating evermore bizarre
and unstable timelines.
224
00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:57,175
One wonders if continued use of your
225
00:09:57,181 --> 00:09:58,601
"temporal inverter"
226
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:01,229
will escalate the decay
until the walls of reality
227
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:03,686
come crashing down round us.
228
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:05,607
Why, that's right.
229
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:08,686
However, I have no choice but to
keep jumping between timelines
230
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:11,492
until I find an acceptable
one in which to reside.
231
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,909
Clearly this one is not that.
232
00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:19,289
Wakeywakey, Brainy cakey!
233
00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:24,326
♪ romantic music swells ♪
234
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:27,213
[Pinky's voice]:
Egad! If Pinky finds out about us,
235
00:10:27,211 --> 00:10:29,801
you and I will never see
each other again, Pinky.
236
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:33,506
[Pinky's voice]: [gasps] Oh, Pinky.
Pinky couldn't bear a life without you, Pinky.
237
00:10:33,509 --> 00:10:34,589
[door bangs]
BOTH: Poit! Narf!
238
00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:36,933
♪ soap opera music ♪
239
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:39,216
BRAIN:
Blegh! The most dreadful, awful,
240
00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:41,483
disgusting thing I've ever seen.
241
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,769
Holy!
242
00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:45,849
Once again, I've spoken too soon.
243
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:51,028
♪ regal music playing ♪
244
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,163
Emperor Brain.
245
00:10:58,242 --> 00:11:00,412
Who would you like smited today?
246
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:03,370
The past tense is actually "smote."
247
00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:05,792
And the smitees
are the object of the verb,
248
00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:09,211
so it should be,
"Whom would you like smote?"
249
00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:12,844
And... where am I?
250
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,010
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
251
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:20,846
Pinky, I've done it!
252
00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:24,018
In this timeline,
I've taken over the world!
253
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:27,398
Why, of course you have, your Magicksy.
254
00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:29,306
Your Magicksy Brain.
255
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,984
Magic Brain.
BRAIN: Droid!
256
00:11:31,984 --> 00:11:34,324
[droid whirring]
Smite...
257
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,609
everyone in Colorado!
258
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,243
I really do hate Colorado.
259
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,080
I believe I'll stay in this timeline.
[rumbling, Pinky groans]
260
00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:45,036
Besides, any more jumps and the cosmos
may tear itself apart entirely.
261
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,998
PINKY [in demonic voice]:
Yes, stay.
262
00:11:46,999 --> 00:11:48,919
Remain my puppet.
263
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,627
[screaming]
264
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:54,553
Oh! What have you
265
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:57,468
got there, Brain?
266
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,257
♪
267
00:11:59,261 --> 00:12:00,641
[screaming]
268
00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,812
[portals zapping]
269
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:06,887
[maniacal laughter]
270
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:09,614
[screaming]
[laughs]
271
00:12:11,148 --> 00:12:12,318
Ah!
272
00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:16,196
The void can't hold me, Brain!
273
00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:19,238
[Pinky screaming]
274
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,739
[grunts]
275
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:22,871
[straining]
276
00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:25,038
[groaning]
277
00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:25,997
[grunts]
278
00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:27,916
♪
279
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:30,035
It's pointless.
280
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:34,672
Utterly futile. The universe
is doomed, unless...
281
00:12:35,214 --> 00:12:38,344
unless this thing never
existed in the first place.
282
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:40,972
I have to go back to
before I ever built it!
283
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:49,016
♪
284
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:51,689
Pinky. You have... depth!
285
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:54,318
Thanks. Ooh! Brain, you look slim!
286
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,900
Holy matrimony.
287
00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:59,702
It's threedimensional Euclidean space!
288
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:02,866
This is it. The moment that I powered up
289
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,576
that infernal gizmo.
290
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:05,616
Ow!
291
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:08,499
♪
292
00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:09,747
[explosion]
Ah!
293
00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:12,626
Pinky, get the device!
294
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,206
Righto!
295
00:13:17,089 --> 00:13:18,839
[whirring]
296
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,176
[gasp, screaming]
297
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,886
[Brain gasps]
[Pinky screams]
298
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,886
♪
299
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,008
[Brain groans]
300
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,934
Pinky, it must be destroyed!
301
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:30,563
[rattling]
302
00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:34,191
Narf! [grunts]
303
00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:37,189
That's it, Pinky! Almost there!
[whimpering]
304
00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:38,992
Ah!
Whoa!
305
00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:39,946
[grunts]
306
00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:41,105
Pinky, no!
307
00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:44,123
[wind howling]
Narf!
308
00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:45,116
[gasps]
309
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,446
Whee!
310
00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:51,575
[screaming]
311
00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:57,586
[basketball buzzer]
312
00:13:57,588 --> 00:14:00,588
[crowd cheering]
[basketball shoes squeaking]
313
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:06,387
You're watching sports? [grunts]
[gasps]
314
00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:09,768
Pinky! Oh, I thought I'd lost you!
315
00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:12,595
That's funny. I thought I'd lost
myself the other day.
316
00:14:12,603 --> 00:14:15,483
I was in the cereal aisle
for over four hours
317
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,650
before I worked out I was
actually in the cupboard.
318
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:20,990
ANNOUNCER [TV]:
And... it's good!
319
00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:23,856
[buzzer]
Fluke wins, 7372!
320
00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:26,704
No tears in space?
No dreadful Pinky soap operas?
321
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,160
No Lovecraftian horrors? [sighs]
322
00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:31,081
Everything is back to normal.
323
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:34,419
Yay! What's back to normal, Brain?
[Brain chuckles]
324
00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:36,706
You don't remember any of it, do you?
325
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:39,300
You were quite the hero, my old friend.
326
00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:41,796
Come! We must prepare for tomorrow night.
327
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,548
What are we gonna do
tomorrow night, Brain?
328
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,640
[deep inhale]
329
00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:46,967
You know what?
330
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,890
Anything that you want to do.
331
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:52,099
Why don't we take a night off and go
to that "paint our own pottery class"
332
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,810
like our therapist told us to?
333
00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:55,102
No.
334
00:14:55,646 --> 00:14:57,606
We're taking over the world!
335
00:14:57,606 --> 00:15:00,276
That's a terrific idea, Brain.
336
00:15:00,275 --> 00:15:03,445
♪
337
00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:10,042
♪
338
00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:14,327
♪
339
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:17,628
Yeoman Wakko, man the poop deck!
340
00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:19,706
[laughs] Oh, this nautical sketch
341
00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:22,131
was a great idea to get
around the censors.
342
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:23,840
MAN:
Enough of this scuttlebutt!
343
00:15:23,841 --> 00:15:26,091
[giggles] He said scuttle.
344
00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:29,262
[growls]
345
00:15:29,263 --> 00:15:31,143
Uh oh. It's the captain.
346
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:33,599
Looks like we're in
for a stern talking to.
347
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,690
Sailing pun! Somebody keep count.
348
00:15:35,686 --> 00:15:37,726
There's gonna be too many of these.
349
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,569
Do you have any idea who I am?!
350
00:15:39,565 --> 00:15:41,475
If the writers are
following the formula,
351
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:44,823
I'd say you're an unlikable jerk
in need of an ego check.
352
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:48,030
Ego check?
Why would Christopher Columbus
353
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:49,371
need an ego check?
354
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:51,866
Why do you have so many
books from the future?
355
00:15:51,869 --> 00:15:55,159
Because it was a long flight
from 500 years from now.
356
00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:57,673
It's not fair to make me do math
357
00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:59,956
and history at the same time!
358
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,960
So, apparently he got lost,
359
00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:03,672
thought South America was Asia,
360
00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:06,132
and claimed it for Spain even
though it was already inhabited
361
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:07,723
by millions of people?
362
00:16:07,718 --> 00:16:09,928
Then he starved those millions of people
363
00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:12,058
'cause he thought they
were hiding gold from him?
364
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:14,175
[groans]
Let me see that!
365
00:16:14,183 --> 00:16:15,433
♪
366
00:16:15,434 --> 00:16:17,984
He enslaved how many people?
367
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:19,768
He was arrested by who?
368
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:22,111
And he has his own holiday why?
369
00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:24,527
Oh, there's just too much
bad stuff in here
370
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,646
to fit into a single sketch.
371
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:29,663
But, it just might fit in a song!
372
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:32,236
♪ In Fourteen Hundred and Ninety Two ♪
373
00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:34,702
♪ Columbus sailed the ocean blue ♪
374
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:35,703
Oh yeah!
375
00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:38,004
♪ He had three ships,
he sailed from Spain ♪
376
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:40,378
♪ A first rate hat atop
a second rate brain ♪
377
00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:42,535
♪ He sailed by night, he sailed by day ♪
378
00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,844
♪ Will somebody tell him
he sailed the wrong way? ♪
379
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:47,588
♪ He's cruel,
he rules through thuggery ♪
380
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,220
♪ Yet he's praised for
the new world's discovery ♪
381
00:16:50,219 --> 00:16:52,509
ALL:
♪ Are we sure he deserves his own day? ♪
382
00:16:52,513 --> 00:16:56,313
♪ We'd have found this stuff anyway ♪
383
00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:58,484
[growling]
384
00:16:58,477 --> 00:17:00,597
I'm terrible at reading people.
385
00:17:00,604 --> 00:17:03,484
Is he mad at us
or passionately in love with us?
386
00:17:03,482 --> 00:17:06,692
I will givea you a right seeing to!
387
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,283
Mm. I still can't tell.
388
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,277
Desist with this poppycock at once!
389
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:13,831
Oh. Aren't you gonna say,
"good night, everybody"?
390
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,195
Nah, too easy.
391
00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:17,452
I'm trying to keep them above board.
392
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:20,118
Seriously loving these
nautical puns though.
393
00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:21,753
Seize them!
394
00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:25,046
Uh oh. We're in hot water now.
395
00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:28,384
Eh, what's he gonna do?
Make us walk the plank?
396
00:17:28,382 --> 00:17:30,512
Feed us to the sharks? Leave us stranded
397
00:17:30,509 --> 00:17:32,889
on a desert island? Ha!
398
00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:35,886
♪ dramatic music playing♪
399
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:39,175
[laughs] Goodbye! Happy getting eaten!
400
00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:41,194
[laughter]
401
00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:46,942
Oh, we may have sailed too close
to the wind on this one, sibs.
402
00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:49,279
That thing's not getting old.
403
00:17:49,278 --> 00:17:52,408
Alright, sibs, all hands on deck! Sorry.
404
00:17:52,406 --> 00:17:54,026
We're up the creek without a paddle here.
405
00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:56,621
My bad. So, somebody's gotta bail us out.
406
00:17:57,244 --> 00:18:00,084
I'm starting to think this pun
counter may have been a bad idea.
407
00:18:00,622 --> 00:18:02,462
I think I can get us off the hook!
408
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:03,667
Wakko!
409
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:06,087
Come on!
Genuine mistake.
410
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:08,376
Yakko, your slacks, if you please.
411
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,010
[struggling]
412
00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:13,137
Cured meats were a staple of
the mariner's diet in the age of sail,
413
00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:16,595
so having baloney in one's slacks
is historically accurate.
414
00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:24,145
Okay, good. But, we're still stuck
on this island, high and dr
415
00:18:24,855 --> 00:18:26,315
I mean between the devil and the deep bl
416
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,147
No, dead in the wa
417
00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:29,855
Are there any sayings
418
00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:32,240
which aren't based on sailing?!
Don't worry, boys.
419
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,407
I've got an idea!
420
00:18:33,405 --> 00:18:36,405
♪
421
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:41,156
I knew that mandatory
WB employee screening
422
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:43,173
of Aquaman would pay off!
423
00:18:44,583 --> 00:18:48,463
Hey, sibs! We're so meta
that the shark jumped us!
424
00:18:48,462 --> 00:18:50,842
Oh, knock it off, Yakov!
425
00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:55,925
Well, according to this map
I drew [laughs],
426
00:18:55,928 --> 00:18:59,558
Asia should be...
427
00:18:59,556 --> 00:19:01,426
Well, it can't be far now.
428
00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:04,653
Uh, I'm going to say
abouta five minutes maybe?
429
00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:07,515
[laughs] How big could
the Atlantic Ocean possibly be?
430
00:19:07,523 --> 00:19:09,443
SHIPMATE:
Land ahoy!
431
00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:11,441
Land ahoy? Ah!
432
00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:13,863
I wasa hoping for Asia ahoy.
433
00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:15,822
Wait, what is Asia made of?
434
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,622
Um, land?
435
00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:20,986
Land, of course! Asia is made of land!
436
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:23,294
[laughing] I've done it!
437
00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:24,578
♪
438
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,040
I, Christopher Columbus,
439
00:19:29,044 --> 00:19:32,014
hereby proclaim this land Asia!
440
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:34,045
DOT:
Not even close, Columbozo.
441
00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:36,589
Asia's about 8,000 miles thataway.
442
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:38,973
And it's further by ship.
That's as the crow flies.
443
00:19:39,888 --> 00:19:42,218
I didn't know that one was nautical,
I swear!
444
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,814
These are the Bahamas.
445
00:19:43,809 --> 00:19:45,479
Well, I still discovered them.
446
00:19:45,477 --> 00:19:47,187
Yeah, about that?
447
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:49,567
♪ In Fourteen Hundred and Ninety Two ♪
448
00:19:49,565 --> 00:19:51,815
♪ Columbus sailed the ocean, true ♪
449
00:19:51,817 --> 00:19:54,147
DOT: ♪ He wasn't a looker
and less of a charmer ♪
450
00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:56,242
♪ Claimed he'd be the first
man to find the Bahamas ♪
451
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:58,528
WAKKO:
♪ But this isn't even a new frontier ♪
452
00:19:58,532 --> 00:20:00,622
♪ The Lucayans have
been here 1,000 years ♪
453
00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:03,997
ALL: ♪ Are we sure he deserves
his very own day? ♪
454
00:20:04,538 --> 00:20:06,998
♪ Asia's still half a world away ♪
455
00:20:06,999 --> 00:20:08,289
[wind blowing]
456
00:20:08,292 --> 00:20:10,002
♪
457
00:20:10,002 --> 00:20:11,502
[growling]
458
00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:12,713
[muttering]
459
00:20:12,713 --> 00:20:14,723
Land ahoy!
460
00:20:15,716 --> 00:20:17,126
♪
461
00:20:17,676 --> 00:20:20,596
Oh boy! It's green!
462
00:20:20,596 --> 00:20:23,306
Green land! [gasps]
463
00:20:23,307 --> 00:20:26,017
Have I discovered Greenland?
464
00:20:26,018 --> 00:20:27,598
Well...
465
00:20:27,603 --> 00:20:29,943
[chirping, squawk]
466
00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:32,438
I, Christopher Columbus,
467
00:20:32,441 --> 00:20:35,571
proclaim thee Greenland!
468
00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:39,448
Even further off, Codumbus.
Cuba.
469
00:20:39,448 --> 00:20:42,988
I'm sorry, how do you keep
beating me to these islands anyway?
470
00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:44,580
Shark chariot.
471
00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,288
♪
472
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:53,999
SHIPMATE: Land a
Just park the boata!
473
00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:57,764
This had better be Asia this time!
474
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:01,136
But, sir, you're navigating.
475
00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:03,310
[chirp, muffled shriek]
476
00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:05,055
Asia.
477
00:21:05,057 --> 00:21:06,677
Asia is still awaysia, pal.
478
00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:08,063
This is Hispaniola.
479
00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:11,310
Which is modern day Haiti
and the Republic Dominican.
480
00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:12,733
Don't call it that!
481
00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:15,531
You know who will start
singing you know what.
482
00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:17,396
What was that?
DOT/WAKKO: Nothing!
483
00:21:17,986 --> 00:21:20,316
Enough! Enougha! Enough!
484
00:21:20,322 --> 00:21:22,322
I am going back to Spain!
485
00:21:23,951 --> 00:21:26,081
Withouta you three!
486
00:21:26,078 --> 00:21:27,078
[tires screech]
487
00:21:27,079 --> 00:21:28,579
Buta believe you me.
488
00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:30,170
I won'ta give up.
489
00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:33,035
Next time, I departa south southwest,
490
00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:34,753
instead of west southwest.
491
00:21:34,753 --> 00:21:36,303
Straight to Asia!
492
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:39,416
No local stops on thisa journey!
493
00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:41,094
Don't you wanna hear our song about
494
00:21:41,093 --> 00:21:43,933
the 750,000 indigenous people
who already live here,
495
00:21:43,929 --> 00:21:45,639
you big phony?
Yeah.
496
00:21:45,639 --> 00:21:49,389
I spent all night coming up
with a rhyme for Arawak/Taíno.
497
00:21:49,393 --> 00:21:50,943
[groans]
498
00:21:50,936 --> 00:21:52,596
Let's do it anyway!
499
00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:54,904
ALL: ♪ Columbus sailed the ocean blue ♪
500
00:21:54,898 --> 00:21:57,228
♪ He had three ships, now he has two ♪
501
00:21:57,234 --> 00:21:59,364
DOT:
♪ Through a bunch of nautical accidents ♪
502
00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:01,951
♪ He claimed lands
filled with inhabitants ♪
503
00:22:01,947 --> 00:22:04,157
WAKKO:
♪ Next trip, he'll say he finds Jamaica ♪
504
00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:06,287
♪ Sure this time that it's in Asia ♪
505
00:22:06,285 --> 00:22:09,655
YAKKO:
♪ Think that's uncomplimentary ♪
506
00:22:09,663 --> 00:22:11,963
♪ Try reading his Wiki entry ♪
507
00:22:11,957 --> 00:22:14,207
ALL:
♪ He's the captain of endless mistakes ♪
508
00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:16,499
♪ One of history's luckiest fakes ♪
509
00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:18,423
♪ Are we sure he deserves his own day? ♪
510
00:22:18,422 --> 00:22:21,762
♪ He never even set foot in ♪
511
00:22:21,758 --> 00:22:25,638
♪ The USA ♪
512
00:22:30,642 --> 00:22:32,562
[grunting]
513
00:22:32,561 --> 00:22:34,311
[squeaking, chirping]
514
00:22:34,313 --> 00:22:36,023
Oucha! Mama mia!
515
00:22:36,023 --> 00:22:38,363
Oh. Guess we really knocked
the wind out of his sails.
516
00:22:39,276 --> 00:22:40,776
♪
517
00:22:40,777 --> 00:22:43,907
You've done well, little pun counter.
518
00:22:43,906 --> 00:22:45,116
[dog barking]
519
00:22:45,115 --> 00:22:47,235
But the sketch is over now. You're free.
520
00:22:47,242 --> 00:22:49,832
[panting, barking, whining]
521
00:22:49,828 --> 00:22:51,708
Go on. Get outta here.
522
00:22:51,705 --> 00:22:52,955
[barking]
523
00:22:52,956 --> 00:22:54,666
♪
524
00:22:57,586 --> 00:22:58,666
ALL:
Wow.
525
00:23:01,632 --> 00:23:02,382
Uh...
526
00:23:03,133 --> 00:23:04,683
♪
527
00:23:04,676 --> 00:23:07,216
Guess he couldn't swim.
And now, he's dead in the water.
528
00:23:07,221 --> 00:23:08,561
[ding]
529
00:23:12,142 --> 00:23:15,152
♪
530
00:23:18,106 --> 00:23:19,686
[machines beeping]
531
00:23:19,691 --> 00:23:22,191
In the overcrowded,
but highly profitable
532
00:23:22,194 --> 00:23:24,074
marketplace of prescription drugs,
533
00:23:24,071 --> 00:23:26,111
we here at Acme Pharmaceuticals
534
00:23:26,114 --> 00:23:28,994
have decided to add
another one to the mix.
535
00:23:28,992 --> 00:23:30,292
What's today's new drug, Dot?
536
00:23:30,744 --> 00:23:32,754
[crank, whirring]
537
00:23:32,746 --> 00:23:34,826
[beeping, clicking]
538
00:23:34,831 --> 00:23:36,581
[tape chirping]
539
00:23:38,043 --> 00:23:41,093
Do you have trouble telling time?
Try Zobroflex.
540
00:23:41,088 --> 00:23:44,338
Just one every 15 minutes tells
you when it's been 15 minutes.
541
00:23:44,341 --> 00:23:47,261
I just took one 15 minutes ago!
542
00:23:47,261 --> 00:23:49,101
Wow, it's working already!
543
00:23:49,096 --> 00:23:50,556
What are the side effects, Dot?
544
00:23:50,556 --> 00:23:53,676
Let's see. Uh oh. Headaches...
545
00:23:54,142 --> 00:23:55,812
[groans]
sweating...
546
00:23:55,811 --> 00:23:57,981
[panting]
blurred vision...
547
00:23:57,980 --> 00:23:59,480
[groans]
dry mouth...
548
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:00,611
[sighs]
549
00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:03,651
rapid and irreversible aging...
550
00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:06,071
permanent fedora...
551
00:24:06,989 --> 00:24:08,449
penguin teeth,
552
00:24:08,448 --> 00:24:10,488
one long hair in your armpit,
[yelps]
553
00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:12,122
restless legs...
554
00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:15,213
and fear of clocks!
555
00:24:15,789 --> 00:24:17,119
[screech]
556
00:24:17,124 --> 00:24:19,634
The clocks have faces!
557
00:24:19,626 --> 00:24:21,836
[screaming]
558
00:24:21,837 --> 00:24:23,707
Eh, he'll be fine in 15 minutes.
559
00:24:23,714 --> 00:24:26,884
Ask your doctor,
or openminded veterinarian,
560
00:24:26,884 --> 00:24:29,604
if Zobroflex is right for you.
561
00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:35,639
♪
562
00:24:35,689 --> 00:24:40,239
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