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1
00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:02,662
Previously on Young Sheldon...
2
00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:05,621
You know that Mr. Rosenbloom
with the furniture store
3
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,046
over by the steak house?
4
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:08,673
He's asked me to dinner.
5
00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:10,250
Is he your boyfriend?
6
00:00:10,469 --> 00:00:12,677
Well, he's one of them,
so let's not bring that up.
7
00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:14,095
All right, so what can I do
for you?
8
00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:15,842
What's it like
to be Jewish?
9
00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,970
Oh, it's terrible.
I don't recommend it.
10
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:20,177
- (phone ringing)
- Yeah?
11
00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:23,559
Connie, I would like
to have dinner with you tonight.
12
00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,310
This is very promising.
13
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,058
SHELDON:
Dr. Sturgis and Meemaw
14
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:28,438
had their first
sleepover.
15
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,646
It's a big step
in their relationship.
16
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,821
I'm going to go
congratulate them.
17
00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:35,442
Hey, put on a jacket,
it's chilly out.
18
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,079
♪♪ You're just too good
to be true... ♪♪
19
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:43,829
I have only seen you eat
vanilla ice cream for dessert.
20
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,502
- Why is that?
- Well, I've taken a page
21
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,830
from the great physicist
Richard Feynman.
22
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:50,460
In order to have
23
00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,292
one less decision
in his life,
24
00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:56,630
he decided that dessert would
always be chocolate ice cream.
25
00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:58,680
Sounds like it could
get kind of boring.
26
00:00:58,892 --> 00:00:59,882
Oh, it does.
27
00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:03,140
But over the
last 35 years,
28
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:07,269
I believe I've saved
at least a day and a half.
29
00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,726
♪♪ Pardon the way
that I stare... ♪♪
30
00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:11,811
(laughing)
31
00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:14,481
Well, you have to let me
cook for you sometime.
32
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,532
But I enjoy cooking for you.
33
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,030
It's a means of
expressing my affection.
34
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:22,698
It also allows me to control
the amount of garlic,
35
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,373
which gives me the burps.
36
00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:27,334
Well, I do make
a mean barbecue,
37
00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:30,129
and I promise I can
make it garlic-free.
38
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:31,706
Excellent!
39
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:35,464
Next time, you can express
your affection for me.
40
00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:37,045
(chuckles)
41
00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:39,298
- (phone ringing)
- Excuse me.
42
00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:41,428
I bet it's Sheldon
checking on us.
43
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:43,426
What?
44
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,352
Connie? It's Ira.
45
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:48,390
(chuckling nervously):
Hey... Hey...
46
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:49,561
I'm, uh...
47
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:52,109
I-It's Sheldon.
He... sounds a little agitated.
48
00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:53,482
I'm gonna take it
in the other room.
49
00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:54,687
Just...
50
00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:56,693
(partition clattering loudly)
51
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:01,364
(quietly):
Hello again.
52
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:03,287
Listen, I'm wondering what
you're doing this weekend.
53
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:04,488
I miss you.
54
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:06,582
Cool, cool.
55
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,041
You want to go to a movie
56
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:09,960
or bowl a few frames?
57
00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:14,040
Uh, you know, listen,
it's not a great time right now.
58
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:15,545
Um, I have a little family over,
59
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:17,548
and can I call you later?
60
00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:20,221
Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry.
I-I don't want to interrupt.
61
00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:22,389
I just miss hearing your voice.
62
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,885
Well... here it is,
63
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,389
coming right up
out of my throat.
64
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,228
Um, okay,
65
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,306
so, uh, uh, bye.
66
00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:31,686
Bye-bye.
67
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:34,935
How's Sheldon doing?
68
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:36,778
- What?
- Sheldon.
69
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,447
You were talking to Sheldon.
70
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:41,948
Oh... right, yes.
(chuckles)
71
00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:45,239
Did you know he has a picture
of that fella Feynman
72
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,493
in his bedroom?
73
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,370
What? So do I.
74
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:49,666
Peas in a pod.
75
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,335
- (phone ringing)
- Oh, darn.
76
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:52,628
Excuse me.
77
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,002
Yes?
78
00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:57,004
How's it going?
79
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,505
It's Sheldon again.
80
00:02:58,720 --> 00:02:59,756
What do you mean "again"?
81
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:00,882
Speak.
82
00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:02,555
I recently read an article
83
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,382
about a superconducting
supercollider
84
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:05,967
that might be built in Texas.
85
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:07,931
What about it?
86
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,057
Well, I thought
if there was a lull
87
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,558
in your dinner conversation,
88
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,857
you might casually drop it
as an icebreaker.
89
00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,651
Our dinner conversation
is going just fine.
90
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,444
Well, now you have it
in your back pocket.
91
00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:18,863
Carry on.
92
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,399
- (dial tone)
- (chuckles)
93
00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:23,075
(hangs up phone)
94
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:25,114
(clears throat)
95
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:28,448
Question... will we be engaging
in coitus tonight?
96
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:31,956
Because I believe
I pulled a hamstring
97
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,627
on the bike ride over.
98
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,337
Why didn't you
say something?
99
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,132
Well, I was trying
to display machismo,
100
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,630
but it's becoming
more and more clear
101
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,963
that there's something
askew in my groin.
102
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,388
Oh, John...
103
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,137
we don't have
to do anything.
104
00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:49,347
We can just be together.
105
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:50,804
Thanks.
106
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:52,479
But if it's all
the same to you,
107
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,853
I'd like to give it
the old college try.
108
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,776
(laughing)
109
00:03:57,988 --> 00:04:00,696
♪♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪♪
110
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,524
♪♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪♪
111
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:06,157
♪♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪♪
112
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:09,034
♪♪ I am a mighty little man ♪♪
113
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,708
♪♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪♪
114
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:16,336
Here you go.
115
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,084
Thank you.
116
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,962
So, you're really
gonna go out
117
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,339
with this furniture
store fella
118
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:23,840
while seeing Dr. Sturgis?
119
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,172
It's called playing the field.
120
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,637
And if you'd done
some of that,
121
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,969
you wouldn't be saddled
with Bluto in there.
122
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:32,349
That's not nice.
123
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,396
And is that
really necessary?
124
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,066
The Italians call it
"corretto."
125
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,519
It means correcting
the drink.
126
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,814
So, a drink without
alcohol in it is wrong?
127
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:44,440
Yep.
128
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:47,117
- Italian people, they know what's up.
- (sighs)
129
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,282
All right, one issue
at a time.
130
00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:53,955
So, you're really gonna date
two men simultaneously?
131
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,536
- Two that you know of.
- Oh, Mom.
132
00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:58,542
Come on, don't be
such a prude.
133
00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:00,089
I'm not gonna have
any babies.
134
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,916
I don't need these men
to take care of me.
135
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:04,377
Why shouldn't I just
enjoy myself?
136
00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:06,713
Well, it isn't very
Christian of you.
137
00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,844
I got no argument there.
138
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,600
Salute!
(chuckles)
139
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:12,973
(sighs)
140
00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:14,349
Yeah, that fixed it.
141
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,355
Mmm.
142
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:18,603
♪♪♪ ♪
143
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,951
Oh, Meemaw, no.
144
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:36,579
Hey, who are you calling?
145
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,078
Dr. Sturgis.
146
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:39,248
Why?
147
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:40,955
I saw Meemaw get in a car
148
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,915
with Mr. Rosenbloom.
149
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:46,586
(distorted):
No...
150
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,923
ADULT SHELDON: I don't know
if it really happened this way,
151
00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:52,804
but to my nine-year-old mind,
152
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,806
my mother was flying.
153
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,901
(country music playing)
154
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,738
So, how's the brisket?
155
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:07,156
It's good.
156
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,110
It ain't my brisket,
but it's good.
157
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:11,489
I should take you
to New York
158
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,867
so you could taste some
authentic Jewish brisket.
159
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,243
How's it different?
160
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,744
Well, it's pretty much
the same except
161
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,168
it's-it's a lot juicier
and you can feel the fat
162
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,540
go directly to your heart.
163
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:22,712
(both laughing)
164
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,165
Oh, boy...
165
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,920
I miss that laugh.
166
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,048
So, uh...
167
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:30,888
what do you think
of that idea?
168
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,758
- What idea?
- Going to New York.
169
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,093
Maybe we'll catch
a couple of Broadway shows,
170
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,554
uh, see some sights.
171
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:41,061
Oh, Ira, gee...
172
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:43,730
I don't know.
(chuckles)
173
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:46,483
- Seems like a big step.
- Is it?
174
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,109
I think at this time
of our lives,
175
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:50,237
we should travel,
see the world.
176
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:51,943
- I guess.
- I mean,
177
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,403
we're not getting
any younger.
178
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:55,529
What's that supposed to mean?
179
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,115
(stammers)
180
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,326
I mean, I mean, I'm not
getting any younger.
181
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:00,785
You, on the other hand,
182
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:03,371
you are a blossoming tulip.
183
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:04,876
Better.
184
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,129
SHELDON:
But I still don't understand.
185
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,510
Your grandmother's
a single lady.
186
00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:12,463
She's not committed
to any one fella,
187
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,469
and she wants to see
what her options are.
188
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,767
But Dr. Sturgis is
the best option.
189
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,560
Well, you might
feel that way,
190
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:19,979
but she's not so sure.
191
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:21,977
Then we need to tell her.
I'll make the call.
192
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:24,525
No. We need to
mind our business
193
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,978
and maybe pray for her
to make the right decision.
194
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,773
We're gonna leave this
up to God?
195
00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:32,362
You think you could do
a better job than God?
196
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,159
Maybe not with
creating the universe,
197
00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:35,532
but I bet
I could free the Hebrews
198
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,158
with one good plague.
199
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,160
IRA:
You can get lox, bagels,
200
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:42,080
all the trimmings
at 3:30 in the morning.
201
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,582
(chuckles)
Why would I want that?
202
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:47,293
Well, you wouldn't.
I mean, it's too heavy.
203
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:48,465
But you could
if you wanted.
204
00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:49,633
(chuckles)
205
00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:50,800
So, what do you think?
206
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,383
Oh, Ira, I don't think so.
207
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,214
All right, what do you say
208
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,174
to a weekend
in New Orleans, huh?
209
00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:59,017
We could do one of those
Carnival Cruise things.
210
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,596
You're killing me.
(laughs)
211
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,181
I can't do this, I...
212
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:04,853
Can't do what?
213
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,235
Ira, you're just
a wonderful man.
214
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:10,859
Oh, boy, I don't like
where this is going.
215
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,656
But to tell you the truth,
216
00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:14,359
I'm seeing somebody else.
217
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:15,909
And we've gone there.
218
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:19,205
I thought I could do it, uh...
you know, date both of you,
219
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,749
but I-I can't, I can't,
I just...
220
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,701
I'm not cut out for it.
221
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:25,912
Okay, suggestion.
222
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:27,963
And maybe you've already
thought of this...
223
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:29,836
but what do you say
you break up with him
224
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:31,212
and only see me?
225
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:32,926
(chuckles)
226
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:37,173
(sobbing)
227
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,633
I'm sorry.
228
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:40,851
I thought I could
handle this.
229
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,178
- It's okay.
- You know,
230
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,640
you get older, and you think
your skin is thicker...
231
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,691
- It's okay.
- ...and your heart is tougher.
232
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,402
But it's not, it's
the other way around.
233
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:54,737
I hope this guy knows
what a gift he has in you.
234
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:56,408
Well, "gift" is a strong word,
235
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,656
but he's enthusiastic.
236
00:08:58,872 --> 00:08:59,908
Good.
237
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:03,241
May you both be
very happy together!
238
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:08,708
I don't want to
celebrate too soon,
239
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:12,133
but Meemaw and Mr. Rosenbloom
are back, and he was crying.
240
00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:15,093
(indistinct chatter on TV)
241
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,097
There'll be more updates
as they happen.
242
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:27,515
I'm done.
243
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:28,941
Can I please be excused?
244
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,896
Good Lord, did you
even chew it?
245
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,569
Not the recommended amount, no.
246
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:33,692
What's your hurry?
247
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,899
I need to get back
to my viewing post.
248
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,200
Fine, go ahead.
249
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,697
What's he expect to see,
staring at Meemaw's house?
250
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,748
(sighs) -
Did you just join this family?
251
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,245
The kid's an oddball.
252
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,372
He's just excited
that Meemaw's dating
253
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,079
a man he looks up to.
254
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,585
I wish she could date
Tony Danza... that'd be cool.
255
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:54,875
What is it with you
and Tony Danza?
256
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,378
Well, the show doesn't
come out and say it,
257
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,589
but I'm pretty sure
he's the boss.
258
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,596
I think the blonde
lady's the boss.
259
00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:03,597
Angela?
260
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,394
Who's the oddball now?
261
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:09,807
I'm warning you,
262
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,809
once you try my barbecue,
263
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:15,021
it will ruin you
to all the others.
264
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,906
That's what happened to me
with quilted toilet paper.
265
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:20,030
Once I tried the good stuff,
266
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,453
everything else felt
like a Brillo pad.
267
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,115
You paint quite the picture,
don't you?
268
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,665
(doorbell ringing)
269
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,326
Oh, gosh.
270
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:29,501
Excuse me.
271
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,418
Sheldon,
this is not cute anymore.
272
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,877
- Connie Tucker?
- Yes?
273
00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:39,428
I have a dinette set
from Rosenbloom's Furniture.
274
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,425
Oh.
275
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:41,965
I didn't buy any furniture.
276
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,015
I think it's a gift.
277
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,511
Oh, boy.
278
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,265
TONY:
I bent down to pick up a book,
279
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,645
and I'll be darned if she didn't
sneak a look at my derriere.
280
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,817
- (laughter on TV)
- Oh, man.
281
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,526
You won't believe what's
happening at Meemaw's house.
282
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,948
Is it more interesting
than Who's the Boss?
283
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,196
Doubt it.
284
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:02,902
(phone rings)
285
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:06,155
Rosenbloom's Fine Furniture.
Ira speaking.
286
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:08,165
Why are you sending me
furniture?
287
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,164
I've decided
I can't go away quietly.
288
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,204
I'm fighting for your love.
289
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,005
With a dinette set?
290
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,629
Oh, this isn't just any dinette
set. It's our biggest seller.
291
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,210
And it's not pressed wood...
292
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:20,840
it's oak!
293
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:23,342
Ira, I don't like this.
294
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,053
Would you prefer
a leather sectional?
295
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,852
Uh, what's going on?
(chuckles)
296
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:30,766
Uh,
297
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,063
can I call you back?
298
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:33,690
I look forward to it.
299
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:34,688
You shouldn't.
300
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:39,813
Okay.
301
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:41,490
I guess
you could say
302
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:42,991
one of my former boyfriends
303
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,570
is trying to win me back
with furniture.
304
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:48,618
Huh. Impressive.
305
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,415
This is real oak.
306
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:52,584
Was that him
on the phone?
307
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,411
Yes. I'm sorry.
308
00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:57,627
Interesting.
309
00:11:58,301 --> 00:11:59,132
What?
310
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,586
Being challenged by another man
311
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:05,097
is making you more
attractive to me.
312
00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:07,265
I don't follow.
313
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:09,309
I'll have to do
some research,
314
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:13,226
but I'm guessing
this is a genetic instinct
315
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:16,275
that's raising my libido.
316
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,770
(chuckling):
I need a drink.
317
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,698
Can you believe he tried to win
me back with a dinette set?
318
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:28,779
I'd give you a dinette set
if you'd leave Texas.
319
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,873
So, would you return it?
320
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,667
Hell no, I'm keeping it.
321
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:35,244
But then you'll be
beholden to him.
322
00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:36,624
(sighs)
323
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,330
Would you ever take Ira back?
324
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:39,289
I don't know.
325
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:41,216
He's sweet as he can be, but...
326
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:45,425
there's just something
about John.
327
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:48,306
He's like a cute
little teddy bear, you know?
328
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:49,640
A brilliant,
329
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:50,968
bicycle-riding
330
00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:52,140
teddy bear.
331
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,555
I don't even understand half
of what he says.
332
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,605
But...
333
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,602
when he's not around,
I just miss him.
334
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,947
Sounds like you're
falling in love.
335
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,320
Maybe I am.
336
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,157
Excellent.
I love him, too.
337
00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:10,362
Get out of here!
338
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,573
If you don't understand
what Dr. Sturgis says,
339
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:13,790
I'm happy
to explain it to you.
340
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:14,833
Get!
341
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,376
STURGIS:
Excuse me.
342
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:22,633
I'm looking for Ira.
343
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,839
At your service.
What can I do for you?
344
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:28,256
You, sir,
have overstepped your bounds.
345
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:29,882
(chuckles)
I'm sorry, what?
346
00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,433
Miss Constance Tucker
347
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,933
made it clear your courtship
was no longer welcome,
348
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:37,772
and you responded
with six chairs,
349
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:40,518
a table, and an expansion leaf.
350
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:42,652
Who are you?
351
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,021
John Sturgis,
352
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,940
the man she chose
353
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,991
and your romantic rival.
354
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,694
I-I'm sorry, wait, what-what
is it you want from me?
355
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,364
I want you to give up
your pursuit of Connie.
356
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:55,916
All right, I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave my store.
357
00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:58,501
Very well.
358
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:02,290
The line in the sand
has been drawn.
359
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:05,216
Cross it at your own peril.
360
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:11,848
(quietly):
Weirdo.
361
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,059
What was that?
362
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,314
You heard me.
363
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,818
Sir, I am a man with feelings.
364
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,734
And you have hurt them.
365
00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:34,245
I know you've had
a number of...
366
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,744
gentleman callers,
367
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,326
but I've never heard you
speak like this before.
368
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:40,626
"Gentleman callers"?
369
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:42,420
And we wonder where
Sheldon gets it.
370
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:43,834
(laughs)
371
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,257
I'm sorry y'all find this funny,
372
00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:46,754
but this is the first time
373
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:49,052
my mother's expressed
real interest in a man
374
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:50,504
since Dad died.
375
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,430
Forgive me for
wanting to know more.
376
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,263
You really want to know more?
377
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,684
Imagine you're getting on
in years,
378
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:02,015
you and your husband
about to retire,
379
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,022
get a little timeshare
in Sarasota,
380
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,479
and... suddenly...
381
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,322
he's gone,
382
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,782
and you're all alone.
383
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:13,284
You mourn, you cry,
384
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:16,531
but eventually you move on.
385
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,707
You start dating a little,
386
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:21,455
and it's all good fun.
387
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,291
But always in the back
of your mind,
388
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:25,918
there's that question...
389
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,715
"Will I be alone in the end?"
390
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:37,016
(sniffles)
391
00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:39,603
Why y'all looking at me for?
392
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:41,813
(sniffling)
393
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,062
Haven't slept in days.
394
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,893
It's like I'm
a lovesick teenager,
395
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:49,230
- except I remember the Truman administration.
- (chuckles)
396
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,736
Your feelings
are understandable.
397
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,700
Connie is
a remarkable woman.
398
00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:54,867
Yes, she is.
399
00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:57,746
But, again, I'm sorry. I should
never have called you weird.
400
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,823
I mean, eh, it was rude.
401
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,417
I've been called
much worse.
402
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:06,747
A professor once called me
ostrobogulous.
403
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,332
I had to look that one up.
404
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:09,632
What's it mean?
405
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:10,922
That I'm a weirdo.
406
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,127
(laughs)
407
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,633
John, you're a great guy.
408
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:15,927
Well, you, too!
409
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,974
But I hope you
understand, I just...
410
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,388
I can't give up on Connie.
411
00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:21,687
That's all right.
To tell you the truth,
412
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:26,108
I'm finding the competition
quite exhilarating.
413
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,191
You are?
414
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,189
Oh, yes.
415
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,941
The night
the dinette set arrived,
416
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:34,616
I did my first push-up
in 40 years.
417
00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:36,610
(laughs, snorts)
418
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,786
I'm sorry, but I find
that to be, uh...
419
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,115
what's the word...
astro-boobulous?
420
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,791
Ostrobogulous.
421
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,584
Ostrobogulous.
422
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:45,918
Exactly.
423
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:49,290
Now, give me your best price
424
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,841
on one of these
425
00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:53,465
with a cup holder.
426
00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:03,221
John! What
a pleasant surprise.
427
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,601
- I have some news for you.
- Oh?
428
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,645
- Mwah. What is that?
- Mwah.
429
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,603
I went to the furniture
store and spoke to Ira.
430
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,776
- Why would you do that?
- To demand
431
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:16,825
that he respect your
wish to be left alone.
432
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:21,368
John, it was not
your place to do that.
433
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,741
Well, if it helps,
434
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,077
he doesn't plan on
leaving you alone.
435
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:34,673
What the hell
were you thinking?!
436
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,220
That I was being chivalrous.
437
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,297
By going behind my back?
438
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,596
You seem upset.
439
00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:42,801
I am upset!
440
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:46,058
And how I handle Ira
is my business!
441
00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,435
Well, I hope you do it gently.
442
00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:50,438
He's very vulnerable these days.
443
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:51,894
You're friends now?
444
00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:53,570
Well, I wouldn't say friends,
445
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,647
but I could see, over time,
446
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:56,777
you know,
we might...
447
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,029
Are you two fighting?
448
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:00,826
No.
449
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,154
Oh, good.
(chuckles)
450
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:04,456
I was almost certain
that we were.
451
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:05,495
We are.
452
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,121
- I'm confused.
- Me, too.
453
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,168
Is this because you went
to the furniture store?
454
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,496
He knows about this?
455
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,251
- Yes.
- Yes. - All right, now, listen,
456
00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:14,332
if this relationship's
gonna have any chance at all,
457
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,005
we have to lay down
some ground rules.
458
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,423
Great. I love rules.
459
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,966
I do, too.
460
00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:21,014
I don't want you talking to him
about anything
461
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,383
having to do
with anything about us.
462
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:23,433
Same with you.
463
00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:24,725
And I want you
to stop
464
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,644
spying on me
with those binoculars
465
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,848
like you're on some kind
of African safari.
466
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,602
And you cannot talk
467
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:34,107
to Ira or any of my
ex-boyfriends, for that matter.
468
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:35,987
This list is getting long.
469
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:37,780
Maybe we should write it down.
470
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:39,191
Hey.
471
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:41,694
ADULT SHELDON:
In that moment,
472
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,699
I had an epiphany.
473
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:47,999
I could draw up a contract
for any social relationship.
474
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:49,959
(whirring)
475
00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:52,584
It was a helpful way
to remove ambiguity
476
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,165
in a world that was often hard
to understand.
477
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:56,795
Article three...
478
00:18:57,011 --> 00:18:59,048
Sheldon will not spy
479
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:02,381
on Meemaw's house
with binoculars.
480
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,966
Type that one in bold.
481
00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,059
(clicking)
482
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,680
(whirring)
483
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:15,727
Please sign and date.
484
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:18,981
You know, Sheldon,
I'm a notary, if that helps.
485
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,157
Just when I thought
you couldn't get cooler.
486
00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:23,485
ADULT SHELDON:
I would go on
487
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:26,162
to draw up such contracts
throughout my life...
488
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:27,823
with roommates,
489
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:29,616
with my wife.
490
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,703
Even with my own children.
33657
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